The scans show no signs of trauma for now, but it is certain continuous exposure is hazardous and will unquestionably cause long-term damage. Initial prospects are increasing susceptibility to brain hemorrhages and/or strokes. I strongly urge you to limit exposure or to remove the dissonance controls permanently.
- Medical report from the Arrow's M-Psy to James Addison.
A week later, Hailey was still secluded to her cabin. She was permitted to walk in the woods and attend martial arts training, but not when any of the young were in the vicinity.
It broke her heart not being able to teach the teenagers, not being able to interact with others except for the two hours of practice before breakfast and after dinnertime, but she understood. It was the same reason she'd stopped working and isolated herself as much as possible from the outside world when she was still in New York.
What she didn't understand was why she was allowed to stay in the valley. When she'd asked Aden why he was still harboring her–an immediate and unknown threat to their young–he had shaken his head.
"What are we, but a collective of dangerous abilities? What would it make us, make me, if we turn our backs to those who need guidance and training the most?"
Unable to argue with that logic, Hailey focused on gaining more control. That meant doing laps with use of her Tk three times a day, this time without James to catch her when she fell down.
Running gave her an outlet for the circling thoughts in her mind but still couldn't make her tired enough to stop overthinking entirely. Even though the nightmares haunted her worse than before, Hailey felt she deserved them for hurting James.
Ivy had updated her on James' progress; he was almost entirely recovered, mainly due to the healing skills of the medical staff. Hailey hadn't seen him around, even though he'd been released early this morning.
Probably because you're avoiding him like the plague.
That wasn't entirely true. In the course of the week she'd been training with other Arrow instructors, so she had been occupied… for about four hours a day.
Okay, yes, she had been avoiding him.
Partly because she was feeling extremely guilty and didn't know how to face him. For crying out loud, she'd injured him so bad, he'd been bedridden for a week, and he was a badass Arrow with healing staff to provide him with top-notch care. That meant she'd hurt him badly, even by Arrow standards.
The other part was that she feared being near James would set her off again. She didn't want to hurt anyone like that ever again, so she figured it was best to steer clear from him for now.
Right. Steer clear. That sounds a lot like, well… avoiding him, doesn't it?
Giving the reasonable voice inside her head the finger, Hailey sighed deeply and rubbed her temples. She was still feeling restless an hour after her 7 AM training session. Picking up her guitar from its position next to the loveseat, she headed deep into the forest to a small clearing. Settling down on a tree stump, she began to play and sing, feeling her mind ease with each quiet note she strummed.
James froze at the warm, slightly husky sound of Hailey's voice filling the air. He moved closer until he was only a few yards away from her and stopped to drink in the sight of her. The picture she made sitting on a tree stump while singing made his breath catch.
Her dark hair flowed like a waterfall down her back, the ends curling below her waist. The early morning sun created a soft glow around her, the opulent mass of her dark hair haloed with copper and her caramel skin gleaming gold. Long, dark lashes rested in crescent moons on her skin as she sang with her eyes closed, and he recalled hearing her sing the same song after their second training session.
"Undress the dark, eyes see through a heart. Unchain for me what's hidden deeply."
Her eyebrows drew together as she sang, and it was like she was able to release the tension in her body through her voice, her shoulders relaxing and her expression easing as she continued channeling her emotions through her song.
The hairs on his arm rose in response to the hauntingly beautiful melody. The pain from the dissonance didn't kick in, since James had finally asked Aden to remove all the mental tripwires except the last one. He recalled his conversation with Aden when he was lying in the infirmary.
"It's your choice," his commander said, thrusting a hand through his sleek black hair.
James nodded as he sat up straight in the infirmary bed. The M-Psy on duty told him it would take three more days for him to recover fully from Hailey's attack. He had received several treatments since not only multiple bones had been broken, but several organs had been damaged as well. Though his ribs were still sensitive, he felt fine but had been ordered to rest.
Bed rest had proven frustrating, and James had asked some of his tech co-workers to bring in some datapads he could assess. Putting aside the device he had been working on, he looked at Aden again.
"You know I can't let you eliminate all the dissonance tripwires," James said.
Aden braced his elbows on his thighs as he leaned forward. "You think your Tk will burst out of control."
James didn't answer, because there was no answer needed.
"You could speak with the others."
James thought about Aden's suggestion. Vasic, Abbot, Judd and Stephan were all of designation Tk and all had romantic relationships. Though Stephan had never finished his Arrow training due to conditioning failures, he was considered an Arrow, nonetheless. James couldn't recall hearing any reports about Stephan's Tk going haywire, which meant he must have found a solution to redirect his Tk during acts of intimacy.
He considered that, as he forced himself to ask the hardest question. "The others, they've never hurt their mates?"
"No. Trust in your training and your abilities, James. You won't hurt Hailey with your Tk. And," Aden added as his dark eyes warmed, "if you're smart, you won't hurt her period."
James felt something unknown ease in his chest at Aden's words; he knew Hailey would get angry and obstinate if he behaved harshly towards her. Apparently, Aden was aware of that fact also.
Gossiping Arrows.
James could almost hear Hailey's laughter resonate inside his mind, how she would be delighted by it. He wanted to tell her, wanted to make her laugh and watch her face light up, see the sparks dance in her expressive eyes.
"What about the shields in the PsyNet?"
Aden shook his head. "It seems there is no issue considering our status on the PsyNet when we respond to physical interaction if you keep an eye on your shields."
James nodded. Since he was already talking to Aden, he decided to ask the final question that was on his mind. "How do I know what to do?"
Aden's eyes held an expression James could only categorize as amusement. "You'll find out if you listen to her and observe her responses." His lips tugged slightly. "But I'll send you a manual as well."
At the end of their meeting, Aden had taken away all dissonance controls but the final one. James had insisted on keeping it as a failsafe and Aden hadn't argued. After Aden's departure, James had downloaded the manual Aden had sent to one of the datapads on the infirmary nightstand.
James had never seen himself as an unworldly man, but then again, he had never explored the myriad of options of physical intimacy. He'd been taught about the difference between males and females during sexual education when he was younger and he knew about the act of sexual intercourse, but never had he felt the impulse to act on physical urges. Now, however, he'd found it intriguing going through the material while thinking of Hailey in such a context. His body agreed.
He went looking for her as soon as he was given the 'all clear' by the M-Psy, the greed inside him amplified by the fantasies he'd created based on the material in the manual and the images Hailey had accidentally sent him.
And now, his body immediately responded at the sight of her, his skin warming and tightness appearing inside his chest. As he began closing the distance between them, her song ended abruptly.
Hailey had jumped up and dropped her guitar on the forest floor. She was standing several feet away from him, her lower lip quivering and eyes growing huge as she took him in. Before he could speak, she leaped forward, throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his chest. James went motionless for an instant, not expecting her to be so tactile after what he'd done, but he closed his arms around her, nonetheless. He felt her trembling and looked down at the top of her head.
He never thought of Hailey as small since her personality made up for her lack of height, but in reality she barely reached his chin.
So vulnerable yet so dangerous.
Now he leaned back a little, moving one hand from her back to cup her chin, gently tipping up her head so he could meet her eyes. Warm brown with pinpoints of jade and gold, those unique eyes held tears. Tears for him, he realized, as something inside him cracked further, Hailey breaking through his every shield.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry for what I've done. I don't even know how I did it. One minute, you were infuriating me, the next–" her voice cut off as the tears ran down her cheeks, just like they had done when she had unleashed her abilities on him.
Sniffing, her eyes skated away, and he could categorize her response as one of shame. He felt her arms slide away from his neck and realized he didn't want her to let go. "You have no reason to apologize," he said quickly. "I was the one who triggered your reaction by holding you down." He brushed away a tear with his thumb. "I should apologize."
She looked up at him again, her hands resting on his chest, the contact branding him. "Don't say that. I really didn't mean to hurt you for what you did," a crease appeared between her eyebrows. Then her eyes flashed at him and she pushed herself out of his hold, wiping away the remnants of her tears. "Why did you do it?" she demanded.
That's better.
James rather dealt with her anger than her sadness; he knew how to handle her snappy remarks. He didn't know how to respond when she was crying.
He folded his arms to hide the fact that there was a sudden emptiness, one that wasn't there when she held him. He wasn't sure if he liked the fact that she touched something deep in him he hadn't known existed. It made him vulnerable.
And Arrows cannot be vulnerable.
Aware she was waiting for him to respond, as she mirrored his stance and tapped one foot impatiently on the ground, he simply stated, "I had to test my hypothesis."
She stared at him. Moments passed. Her foot started tapping a fraction faster while her jaw clenched.
Something uncurled inside him when jade sparks lit up Hailey's eyes, and he thought, perhaps, he was experiencing amusement.
Yes, with her anger, he could deal.
"Well?" It was another demand from the small woman in front of him who'd held her own in every interaction, unflinching, unblinking.
Maybe you should needle her a little more.
It was a completely irrational and obdurate thought, but he did it anyway. "Well, what?" Hailey looked like she was about to shout at him.
James felt warmth expand in his chest, a wave of something unknown crashing through his body. The changelings had a concept they called 'play', something that had never made sense to James. It made sense for others to interact in such ways, like the Arrow children he often oversaw on arranged play dates with the RainFire leopard cubs. The more they played, the more the children smiled.
After the first play date, the Arrow children had been eager to see the leopards again. That was when he'd understood that interacting with the changelings, that playing, made the children happy.
Being happy was something James had never considered; Arrow duty had become his only reason to be ever since he'd been a boy of almost seven. Only he now found he had it in himself to play after all; being teased by Hailey and teasing her back gave him an odd feeling. A good feeling.
James couldn't recall if he'd ever felt that way before he met Hailey. Every day his stomach tightened in anticipation of seeing her and he started noticing small things about her aside from cold, factual observations. All he knew was that those moments had begun even before their first training sessions and kept occurring more frequently.
"Jesus, Mary and Joseph," she huffed out, "I guess beating the living crap out of you once isn't enough for you to change your arrogant and presumptuous personality–even if I didn't do it on purpose."
She didn't know it, but she was beautiful when she was angry. Cheeks slightly flushed, her full lips parted and her eyes liquid, luminous jade and gold. The only other moment James found her to be more beautiful was when she smiled at him.
Maybe you can hold her again, feel her soft skin against yours.
James didn't know where that thought came from, but after seeing Aden with Zaira and Vasic with Ivy, he was more than willing to follow the thread.
"God, I'm so embarrassed I actually hugged you just now," Hailey muttered frustratedly to the ground.
Looking up at James again, she continued her rant. "I know Devraj told me to keep a low profile, but this is impossible. You being all I'm-a-statue-and-don't-talk-more-than-three-words-a-day brings out the absolute worst in me." She let out an annoyed snort. "Maybe I should talk more slowly so you can actually understand what I'm saying, since you're not used to conversing and all." Pronouncing each word deliberately slow, she asked, "What was your hypothesis, milord?"
His eyes seamed to gleam at that taunt; pure, unwavering focus on her as he strode towards her, his movements gracefully deadly. Unwilling to back off, Hailey stubbornly stuck out her chin and arched her neck backward so she could look straight into his dangerous expression. Her heart skipped a few beats when he brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, then closed his fingers around her chin.
"Careful," he said.
The soft word spoken in that deep, dark voice sent shivers up her spine and made butterflies flutter in her stomach.
Jesus, Hales, get yourself together! He's made it obvious he's Silent. He's not some nice fling to flirt with. Stop drooling and start acting like a woman with some damn brains and self-respect, you masochist!
Jerking herself out of his hold, she focused on his words rather than the rest of his powerful presence. That proved to be far more difficult than she thought. Because James was standing so close, Hailey was acutely aware of his scent, hints of oak moss and sandalwood lingering around her.
God, he smells really good…
"Don't change the subject," she whispered.
Oh, holy hell, why was her voice all breathy and husky?!
Swallowing in an attempt to make her voice sound a little more normal, she continued. "James, tell me. I need to know what's going on." And Hailey knew that to be true, no room for acerbic comments or snappy remarks since she still didn't understand what caused her ability lash out like it had done.
Suddenly vulnerable, she looked away. "I didn't mean to hurt you and I don't want to hurt anybody else." She released a shaky breath. "I'm dangerous and I can't live the life I want because I'm a threat to others."
His fingers slid under her chin again, tipping her face up to meet his. James' gaze was still extremely intent, still focused solely on her. "I'll tell you."
Relief unclasped the ice hand that held her heart since the day she'd attacked him. Sucking in a breath, she waited for him to continue.
"But," his voice a caress against her skin, "you'll have to give me something in return."
Nodding impatiently, she was all ears. "Yes, sure, I'll give you what you want. So, what did you figure out?" Hailey noticed she was leaning in closer, eager to find out what this quiet, intelligent, insufferable man had to say.
"Are you sure? You don't want to know the favor you're extending?"
Able to feel the vibration of his deep voice through his shirt–she really was standing close, wasn't she?–Hailey's irritation got the better of her. "Yes, YES, I will give you whatever you want, even if it means I have to dance around on a table in the common area during lunchtime when everybody's watching," she snapped. "I just want my life back, so stop trying to manipulate me!"
Anticipation tightening her gut, James nodded and finally spoke again. "You drain others of their powers and channel the abilities."
Frowning, Hailey tried to think back to several incidents that occurred the last couple of months. But for once, she didn't have to push James to speak up, because he was already explaining his findings to her.
"When I pinned you down, I did so with the intention of seeing if it would incite this part of your power." His azure eyes were observing her reaction. "Right now, it only seems to occur when your adrenaline levels spike. Like a survival response, when people are in fight, flight or freeze mode."
Hailey absentmindedly noticed James' thumb stroking her cheek, but she was too caught up in his words to comment on the odd way he was treating her.
"Fear alone wasn't enough to incite the response this time. When you started fighting, truly fighting me, your ability emerged."
James watched Hailey blow out a breath as he brushed his thumb over the soft skin of her cheek again as he spoke. "You drain the power of the person closest to you, leaving that person unable to use their abilities for the moment. That's the exact reason why I wasn't able to deflect your attack when you held me down. You used my own telekinesis against me."
What had been odd was that he had been able to reach her telepathically. James still wasn't sure how that had been possible, since he'd been unable to reach his back up.
"I need a second," she muttered as she stepped away from him and began pacing back and forth along the clearing.
His fingers seemed to burn from the skin-to-skin contact and James found himself willing to be burned by that wildfire of hers over and over again. Soft and curvy, he could still recall the feel of her in his hands. Though he had held her before, now he wondered what her skin would look like if he was able to observe it up close, what it would be like to run his hands over every inch of her.
Would she have small beauty marks all over her body? Would her entire skin flush in that deep pink color, just like her cheeks?
His fists clenched and James focused on the current situation rather than his want. That was proving troublesome since Hailey was still pacing around, her hips swaying, her jeans skintight over her luscious lower curves and her hair flowing behind her in a heavy cloud of the richest, darkest brown.
Hailey thrust a hand through the long, dark mass before turning around. "So," her voice slightly husky, making his arm hairs rise, "you're telling me I'm like a leech?" Her perfectly serious face made him warm up from inside.
Laughter.
She had no idea what she was doing to him.
"Yes, I believe so," he said, coaxing her into reacting to him once again.
Hailey made a face and smiled. The warmth of it seeped through his skin, Hailey the absolute center of his universe.
"God, you're a charmer," she said without heat as expression grew more serious. "What about the time when I froze everything?"
James stepped closer to her, unable to keep his distance. "You were standing next to Evan. He's a high gradient Tk and has taught himself the technique."
Only Evan wasn't able to do it on such a large scale, which suggested Hailey had used her own telekinesis to push the Tk she'd absorbed from Evan to cardinal levels. It also answered why the color of Hailey's irises had become so intense after her first fallout; James suspected it was the Forgotten's variety to cardinal eyes, Hailey having grown into her power.
Those eyes now changed colors, from gold to brown with jade flecks. "We can finally fix what's wrong now." Her voice was quiet and her face solemn. "Thank you for telling me."
He didn't stop moving towards her to say there was nothing to fix. Hailey wasn't broken, far from it. In a world where violent abilities existed, her control issues were a small thing in comparison to the murder and bloodshed other people attracted and incited. People like him.
That didn't stop him from coming to her either. It should have, but the greed that lived inside him wouldn't be caged anymore. It had decided on her, and James couldn't find the power to shut down the need that was clawing at him. "Don't thank me yet."
A crease appeared between her eyebrows; Hailey utterly unaware of his darkness. "Okay." It was an absent mutter, as she still seemed to be taking in the news of her abilities. "You win," she said more clearly now, bowing deeply with her arms wide. "What is it you wish, milord?" She stood up straight, her hands on her hips, a daring expression on her face.
Your smart mouth, Miss Logan.
James' heartbeat rose at the thought, the greed ripping viciously at the reins for control.He found that he was glad for his Arrow training, since he was unlikely to give away anything with facial cues. Though, the heat in his eyes…
That would be hard to miss.
"I want to kiss you," he said and felt his chest grow tight in anticipation.
Hailey's body went rigid, surprise apparent in her big, unique eyes. James noticed he was holding his breath and exhaled while Hailey was still looking completely astounded. Internally, he battled the urges that compelled him to leap forward and take her.
When Hailey finally found her words, they were unexpected. "What?" she blurted out. "You're Silent!"
At first James thought her reaction was one of refusal… then he saw. Her cheeks were flushing, she was breathing rapidly and her full lips were parted.
"I'm not," he said as he strode towards her, a predator closing in on its prey, his heart slamming in his chest at her closeness.
Calm down. She can still say no.
He clenched his fists at the memories of how he'd treated her from their first encounter on out, how he had pushed her and gone cold, just to push again. That made the darkness inside him halt for a moment.
She has every right to say no.
He concentrated on a mental exercise as he stood toe-to-toe with her, urging himself to wait for her permission. Whatever happened right now, it had to be out of conscious volition on her part. Otherwise it would all be meaningless. It would hurt her.
Rejection burned through his body. He would never hurt her, no matter how deep she'd stirred the shadows inside him.
Though he agreed with the darkness that her affection had to be freely given, the greed in his soul urged him to coax her and he couldn't resist; he had to touch her again. "You said it yourself, I feel. And I want to follow the advice you gave to Robin." He brushed his knuckles past her cheek and saw her flush deepen, rushing over the soft caramel of her skin.
A confused look on her face. Then understanding dawned on her features, her mouth forming a small 'o'.
"Even though you agreed to the wager, I won't take advantage of you," he said. He'd used her curiosity as leverage to trigger her, but he'd never force her to keep her word. That would breach rules of the unspoken, undefined thing between them.
Before he could add to that statement Hailey laughed, the startled sound a little off pitch. "Advantage? How? You haven't done anything like this before." She looked up. "You'd never hurt me like that."
Again, her trust in him was baffling. It was another reason why he felt drawn towards her. She was so expressive, so direct and honest, he never had to guess at her mood or motives. The irony that he–as a formerly Silent Arrow–felt attracted to her emotional side wasn't lost on him.
"If I agree, and mind you, I would never do something like that if I didn't want to…"
Her words snapped the greed inside to wakefulness, his heart nearly bursting out of his chest, combined with a strange sensation in his stomach.
Her eyes narrowed. "Wait." A scowl, her index finger poking in his chest. "That's why you made it a dare! You knew!" The flush on her cheeks turned full red. "You knew how I felt, how I still feel," she confessed as she pushed at his chest, not nearly hard enough to make him move, her small hands curling up to fists, resting on his pectorals.
Then he saw curiosity glimmer in her eyes. "You really do have F-abilities, don't you?"
James reached out to put another wisp of hair behind her ear, slightly brushing her cheek. Electricity shot through his fingers at the contact and he saw Hailey's pupils dilate. The darkness lunged, eager to bask in her light, but he answered her question through gritted teeth instead. "Yes. Mostly knowings and precognitions, not actual visions. But that's not why I asked".
"Why did you ask?"
Her full lips looked so soft, he wanted to touch them. So he did, running his thumb over her lower lip. Her eyelids fluttered shut for a second, her jagged breath sweeping over his hand in an invisible caress.
"Because," he said, as he brushed his finger over the unbelievably soft and plump flesh again, "I need to touch you."