Falling Deeper Under

January 1998
Ellie

Ellie trudged down the stairs from her dorm room and across the common room, not meeting anyone's eyes. She needed to get to the library now or she wouldn't have time to finish her homework. Not to mention, she needed to meet up with Theo there. He had walked from Hogsmeade to the castle with her when they all first got back, but they hadn't had much time to actually talk or spend time together between class and all. Not to mention, Dumbledore's Army. Ellie barely had time to spend with Seamus as it was. They hadn't been able to sneak off at all since getting back.

Just as she started down the corridor, an arm reached out and pulled her into an alcove.

"Seamus!" she hissed, looking around to make sure they were alone. People really needed to stop unexpectedly pulling her into alcoves. It was getting annoying.

"Missed you," he said, leaning down to kiss her. Ellie pushed him back slightly.

"What if someone sees us?" she whispered, frowning up at him. Seamus' grin fell from his face as he scowled slightly.

"Seem to have time for Nott," he muttered.

"Nott is supposed to be my boyfriend," Ellie snapped. "And no one is supposed to know about us, remember? The whole grand plan to keep me safe?"

"Seems you two are rather chummy," he shot back. Ellie groaned and rolled her eyes. Bloody hell, how many times did she need to assure him that there really was nothing going on with Nott? "Meet up over the holidays, did you?"

"No, Mum wouldn't let me leave the manor. I had to run away to Ginny's just so I could come back to school," Ellie said, glaring at him. Blimey, what had gotten into Seamus over the holidays? He had seemed fine in the few letters they exchanged. His eyes widened at her statement.

"You almost didn't come back?" he asked. Ellie nodded. "Maybe you shouldn't have… some of the others already have detention and it's worse than before." Ellie frowned again, but rather than snap at him, she looked down at her wristwatch.

"Whatever. I'm about to be late, thanks to you," she said, stepping out from the alcove.

"Ellie!" Seamus hissed after her, but she continued walking. Hopefully Theo would be in a better mood.

She continued on until she finally reached the library and paused looking around for Theo. She finally located him at a table towards the back. While it wasn't completely hidden - they needed people to see them together, after all - it did provide them enough privacy that they could talk about certain things without worrying about someone overhearing them. She huffed as she walked over and plopped down in the chair next to him.

"Things not well in Gryffindor Tower? Or is it home?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Bit of both," Ellie said, pulling books out of her bag.

"I was surprised to see you came back for second term," he admitted.

"Not you too," Ellie muttered as she frowned at her books.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. Ellie sighed and stopped turning to look at him.

"Oh, just… everyone thinking they know better about my safety than I do," she said, crossing her arms in front of her. "Mum probably would have locked me up in my bedroom just to keep me there. And S-the others…" She huffed and shook her head. "I'd almost rather face detention with the Carrows."

"Wouldn't say that too loudly," Nott said, glancing around the quiet room. "Sure someone wouldn't mind offering you up to either of them."

"I can take care of myself," she said, frowning at him.

"I'm sure you can, but just remember there are ways to make things easier," Nott said, back to looking at her in concern. "In fact… you really should be more careful."

"I haven't said a word in class," Ellie countered.

"Not what I'm talking about," Nott said, dropping his voice. "You honestly think I wouldn't find out?" Ellie just stared at him. Of course, she was fairly sure she knew what he was talking about. But she wasn't sure just how he had found out. It's not like she and Seamus were snogging in the common room or in the hallways. The only person who knew as far as Ellie was aware was Ginny, though she wouldn't have put it passed Seamus to have told Neville. They were roommates, after all.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ellie said, turning her attention to her homework. Nott just sighed and rolled his eyes.

"It's not that it bothers me… not really, just… I can only help you if people think that we're really together. And someone finding you off snogging Finnegan isn't going to help," he said softly. "And if I can find out without really looking for it… others can too." Ellie glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. "In fact, there are already rumors in Slytherin… you need to be more careful. I've already stood up for you twice since coming back."

Ellie sighed and shook her head.

"Sorry," she said softly. "I didn't realize that it was obvious…"

"So far it's just talk about how he looks at you - nothing too substantial," Nott said, his eyes fixed on the book in front of him. "Probably best to keep it that way. For now, at least… It wouldn't be good for either of you." Ellie nodded.

"Okay. Thanks," she said, offering him a slight smile though she suddenly began to worry. She had assumed it wouldn't help her situation, but she never thought about how it might affect Seamus. Though it made sense. If Alecto Carrow found out about Seamus, she would no doubt use him to get to her. He didn't have the protection of a Death Eater father that Theo did. She would need to be more careful, not only for her safety but also Seamus'.

"Don't mention it," Nott replied, though there was a slightly strained look on his face. "My father and step-mother still seem to buy that you are interested in me and that… well… that you may yet reconsider your loyalties. Though, I think it's more along the lines of once everything is said and done and… he's won, you'll make the smart decision…" Ellie felt a shiver go down her spine.

She didn't want to think about that possibility. There was no way that Voldemort and the Death Eaters would win - they couldn't, could they? Then everything they had been doing, all the deaths and disappearances - her father's death - it all would be for nothing. But she supposed that should the worst happen, at least Nott was providing her some sort of lifeline. But rather than respond, all she could do was swallow, her mouth going slightly dry.

Maybe she should have stayed at the manor.

"It's going to be okay, Ellie," Nott whispered. She looked over at him, seeing him stare at her, an earnestness in his eyes. "Either way, it'll be okay. You and your family will be safe. I'll make sure of it." She just nodded and turned back to her book. She didn't want to think too hard about what he might have to do in order to keep her family safe if Voldemort should win. She knew that he hadn't taken the mark yet. She hoped he wouldn't have to. Just as he was helping her, she wanted to help save him hopefully from that.

"Suppose I should get started on transfiguration…"

Ellie sighed as she walked back into the common room later, her chat with Theo still going through her head. She knew that he was just trying to help her, though she still wasn't completely sure why. And she did feel like she could trust him. But there had been something in his eyes that said that he had been slightly hurt by the rumors about her and Seamus. More so when she confirmed them.

"Ellie," Seamus said, walking up at her. She came to a stop, too caught up in her thoughts to realize he was there until she nearly ran into him.

"Finnegan," she said, before sidestepping around him. Seamus frowned slightly, as though he had completely forgotten earlier that he nearly accused Ellie of really being sweet on Nott. Truth be told, she almost preferred Theo's company to Seamus' recent short temper.

"Where are you going, I thought we could-"

"I can't," Ellie hissed as she frowned at him, though glanced around to make sure that no one else was paying attention to them. Nott had found out. That meant anyone in their house could be talking about it. While she knew no one would intentionally say anything about it to others outside the house, she also knew that a fair amount had loose lips and probably wouldn't think to check who could be listening in before talking.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked.

"Oh, I dunno, the war perhaps," Ellie said, her voice clipped as she started back towards the dorms.

"El-"

"Don't, Finnegan," she said, her voice low, though her eyes conveyed a quiet desperation for him to listen to her. Seamus just nodded and stepped back before striding over to Neville. Ellie sighed and turned, going up the stairs to the fifth year girls' dorm.

"Okay, what was that? Did you and Finnegan have a fight that you didn't tell me about?" Ginny asked, walking in behind her.

"No," Ellie said as she threw her bag on her bed and ran her fingers through her hair. "Nott knows about us." Ginny's eyes widened.

"How did he find out?" she asked. "I thought you two were pretty careful. Honestly, if I didn't already know, I wouldn't even guess when you were sneaking off."

"Apparently there are rumors going around Slytherin. Said he's already had to stand up for me twice now. No one's seen us together, but apparently Seamus looks at me a certain way," Ellie said, rolling her eyes. She sat down on her bed. "He told me I needed to be more careful or everyone would know." She went quiet as she frowned at the floor.

"What is it, Elle?" Ginny asked as she sat next to her.

"It's tiring… all of this. Pretending to date Nott, while hiding the fact that I'm actually dating Seamus. Worrying what the Carrows could do to him if they found out since they can't touch me. Really, he would be fair game to them. Dealing with Mum and all. Did you know Lupin left the manor?" Ellie rambled, looking at her.

"No, what for?" Ginny asked. Ellie shrugged.

"Beats me. No one has said why, just that he's away for some time. And it's getting hard to get letters to them anyway," Ellie said. "Maybe Mum was right… maybe I should have stayed at the manor…"

"This… after all your shouting about how coming back was the right thing to do," Ginny replied. Ellie frowned at her. "It's too late to change your mind, even if you wanted to." Ellie nodded.

"That is true. I'm stuck here at Hogwarts for the time being regardless. Just wish things weren't so… complicated…" Ellie said.

"You know… if it's really getting too much, you can always break things off with Nott. I'm sure DA can step up and watch out for you more," Ginny said. "Might help with Seamus as well."

"I know, but… it is helping," Ellie said. "Being with Nott. The Slytherins aren't bothering me and the Carrows have backed off, granted it's not been that long since we've come back… There's no telling how long that will last." Ginny reached out and patted Ellie's hand. "Argh, as if it this year weren't already complicated enough." Ellie flopped back on her bed. "I think… for now I should put some space between me and Seamus? Just until things blow over…"

"You do realize you need to tell him that," Ginny said sensibly. Ellie looked over at her. "You can't just start putting space between you without explaining why…"

"I know," Ellie said, frowning slightly. "I wasn't going to do that. Just I've about had enough of Seamus' attitude today."

"Boys," Ginny said, falling back on the bed next to Ellie.

"I'm sure he's fine," Ellie said softly, looking over at her. "Just because we haven't heard anything… doesn't mean that something's wrong or they're hurt…"

"I know," Ginny said with a sigh. "Doesn't mean I don't worry about them… they are still in danger whatever they are doing…"

"We have to keep up the hope. They'll do whatever it is Dumbledore sent them off to do," Ellie said. Ginny looked over at her. "This won't last forever."

"To think I wish we could go back to the days when all we had to worry about was getting homework finished and such," she said.

"Same. And not being late to transfiguration," Ellie added.

"Or blowing something up in Snape's class," Ginny continued.

"Avoiding detention with Snape," Ellie said with a sigh.

"Quidditch."

"Ducking your prankster brothers."

"Snogging."

"Passing OWLs."

"I'm sure you'll pass OWLs," Ginny said, frowning slightly. "You've always been good at school. And despite everything, you're still near the top of your class."

"I know, just… hard to concentrate lately," Ellie replied. "Though suppose the good thing about meeting up with Nott is that he's been helping me with my homework."

"Silver lining?" Ginny offered.

"Yea, suppose," Ellie said, now staring at the ceiling again. "You think Mum and Lupin'll be okay?"

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked.

"I think Mum is starting to lose it," Ellie said. "And there is something definitely off with her and Lupin. I mean, why else would he just… go off on his own?"

"I'm sure there's a reason for it," Ginny said, though there was clearly some worry in her voice. "He'll be back soon. And your mum'll be fine."

"I'm not so sure. She's convinced that Selwyn is going to come after me… though I suppose she's not that far off," Ellie said. "What if he does try to come for me?"

"We won't let him take you from Hogwarts, Ellie," Ginny said. "I've told you this. We can hide you in the room of requirement. Use the tunnel to sneak you to the Hog's Head," Ellie sighed and nodded. Ginny then sat up and started pulling Ellie up.

"What?" Ellie asked.

"Come on, let's go downstairs. Sure Moira and Meredith are waiting for us," Ginny said. "And you could stand to loosen up a bit. If Seamus is a bother, I'll tell him to bugger off for now." Ellie smiled at her and nodded.

"Alright…"