The Month Peter Parker Learned Humility
Chapter 15: Saturday September 15th
"Peter! It's 10:30, you just about ready to head over to Anna's?", asks May, cleaning the breakfast dishes. "Yeah, and it's MJ's house." "Does she pay the bills there?" "…I'll text you when I'm at Anna's." "As I thought. Remember, her work first, then homework. You gotta do the time if you do a school crime." "May, it wasn't even me that did it, it was the goo!" "It's on your school record, so you did it. See ya at Anna's!" Peter then runs out the door, sprinting towards Anna and MJ's home.
As Peter turns the corner towards MJ's, his phone blares as MJ calls him. "Peter, how close are you to Times Sq?", she asks in a concerned matter. "I'm almost by your house, what are you doing in Times Sq?" "Last minute modeling gig, and it might be my last minute alive. Some giant electric guy is breaking everything, people are gonna get hurt!" "I'll be right there!" Peter rushes over to Anna's, dropping off his bag by the doorway. "Now where do you think—" "Times Square. Electric monster man. MJ's there." "…noon the latest is when you get back here." "Noon it is!", Peter replies as he web swings through the kitchen window, changing into The Amazing Spider-Man.
As Spidey travels across the Queensboro Bridge and enters Manhattan, he lands on the street pole of 49th and 8th. "Should I ask Reed for a rubberized suit or should I ask one of the Avengers—" Suddenly, a massive bolt of lightning burrows in and out of the street pavement, shaking the Midtown sidewalks violently. "Guess I gotta wing it for Midtown today", Spidey thinks to himself, hanging upside down from a tree branch. He swings onto the TKTS building, seeing this blue being of pure energy tower over the screaming civilians and current hostages.
"No one can out-power Electro! Not the Avengers, not the X-Men, not even SHIELD! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!" "Betcha five bucks that a Spider-Man can stop you, Human Power Grid!", Spidey shouts, throwing a bottle of water at the being as he swings towards the NYPD Times Square precinct. "Spider-Man?! You killed my boss, ya big red asshole!" "I'm pretty sure that power outage a couple months back was an intern learning the ropes." "You killed the Green Goblin, and you left this electrical engineer stranded! No one wants to hire an Oscorp man, everyone thinks I'm a damn supervillian!" "Becoming a 20-foot blue boy that's tearing up the streets doesn't help your personal image, ya know." "SHUT UP!" Electro then blasts Peter with a bigger bolt of lightning than last time, sending Peter into the New Victory Theater marquee.
"Time to squash this bug", Electro dryly stated, warming up both of his hands for a super-blast. "You bad guys really gotta think of new finisher lines", Spidey coughs sarcastically. "I think a good Mad Libs reading session could help ya out in that." "I'll kill you for that!", he replies while blasting him with all the energy he can muster. As the smoke clears from the faltering marquee remains, no traces of Spider-Man can be found. "Wait, where's the damn Spider-Suit? Where's the skeleton? Where's the body?"
"Maybe he went over to the Hershey Store a few blocks down, the one next to the M&Ms Store", Spidey replied, swinging a piece of broken street pavement at Electro's head. "Or maybe he saved Midtown from having to pay too much in damage fees!" "Spider-Man! I'll kill ya for real this time!", the blue behemoth bellowed, launching the remnants of the broken theater marquee at our wall-crawler. "You really think you can just try to surprise a guy with Spider-Sense, silly?" "Why won't you shut up?!" "Someone's gotta distract ya when I'm webbing up your whole body, don't they? Now, you wanna keep dealing with me, or do I gotta call my friends in?", Spidey replied, pressing the Avengers Assemble button.
"Wait, what did you—" "I picked for you, ya indecisive bolt dolt", he replied, webbing his mouth shut. "Anyone got a spare water hose? Or a spare firetruck?" Soon after, Iron Man flies into the Times Square streets, throwing an EMP bomb on top of Electro's head. "Alright, Spider-Man, what do you think you're doing here?", whispers a tiny, discerning Ant-Man. "I'm calling in back-up, beating up a 20-foot energy man is hard!" "No it's not." "Yes it is, Hank." "Don't call me Hank, ya little shit! You call me Ant-Man and Ant-Man only", he replied, almost hate-yelling at Peter. "There, he's down. Spidey, grab this", added Iron Man. Hank then grew to a staggering 30 feet tall, stealing Spidey's finishing machine and shoving Electro into the machine. "Hank, what the hell?! That was meant for me!", shouts Spider-Man.
"No, it wasn't. Am I right, Tony?" "That was meant for Peter, Hank! Let the kid get experience as an Avenger", he publicly berates. "Not if he isn't a real Avenger, Stark." "What the hell do you mean 'isn't a real Avenger', Hank?" "I kicked him out, Tony! He doesn't deserve to be a hero, and no kid should ever be a hero. They gotta be at least 30 to do it, like senators!", he yelled. "That wasn't a joke?", Peter stammered. "I know you hate me for your own reasons, but you can't just kick me out!" "Yes I can, because I'm a founding Avenger and you're just a dumb little shit who can't even hit puberty yet!", Hank shouted at the top of his lungs, accidentally snapping the neck of Electro while shoving him inside Tony's device.
"Damnit, Hank! You killed ANOTHER villain", Tony scolded Hank, trying to prevent the social media footage of it happening from spreading. "He's just sleepy." "BUT HE WON'T WAKE UP! Hank, you're suspended without pay as of now. We'll talk about it in private at the Mansion. Kid, … give me the button, it's not yours anymore."
"But Tony, Hank did it without—" "Don't make me hurt you, kid. You were never attacking this blue guy and we beat him all by ourselves. Give me the button, and I'll make sure the press hears your idea of this battle." "IDEA?! I called you guys because Electro's a threat I couldn't handle alone, and now you wanna take credit for everything?" "We're not taking credit if we were the only heroes in New York who could possibly stop this", Hank added. "You're not out of the doghouse yet, Mister. We still need to discuss your suspension status."
"HE KILLED A LIVING CREATURE ON PURPOSE! HE DIDN'T DO HIS ONE JOB IN SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES AND ENDED HIS! YEAH, THE GREEN GOBLIN DIED ON MY WATCH, BUT I DIDN'T SNAP HIS NECK WITH MY BARE HANDS! I DIDN'T GO AND SHOOT THE CHAMELEON OR KRAVEN, AND WHY WOULD I POISON THE HOB GOBLIN?! FUCK THE AVENGERS, I QUIT!" Peter then swings off towards the Queensboro bridge, where he can breathe easy with Anna and Mary Jane supporting him no matter what. "What an unreasonable son of a bitch. Hope that kid dies from choking on his cheese stick in elementary school or wherever the fuck he goes to baby class", Hank mutters under his breath. "I heard you, Hank. Don't make me have to write you up for that", belittles Iron Man.
After a long afternoon of yard work and school work, Peter leaves the Watson home a calmer young adult. "Thanks for the dinner again, Anna! I'm definitely coming back next week for Leftover Saturday", Peter says while packing up the last of his school books. "Ya know, Tiger, you're welcome to spend the night over if you want—" "NO. Not until you're both 18. Mary Jane, you know that's the ONE rule I'm not budging for." "But Mom, it's only Peter!" "What do ya mean 'only me'?" "Shut up if you wanna stay the night." "Not happening under any circumstance." "We won't do ANYTHING!" "Then why do you want him here? None of the good HBO shows come on 'till tomorrow, little lady." "What if one of Peter's old bad guys show up? What about Chameleon, or Kraven? What about Harry?" Silence filled the air, as no one knew how to fight that last point.
"…Peter, we can still call the Avengers, right?", asks a concerned Anna. "I,… I don't know. I think you two just have me to protect ya. I'll go down to the Mansion Monday after school—" "But Tiger, what about the test on Tuesday? You understand that textbook better than me or Randy by a long shot!" "Crap, Aunt May won't let me do super stuff if the test is literally the next day! I'm gonna swing by there tomorrow, and figure out if I can get you guys and May under their family protection program or something like that. I barely read that contract in the hospital bed, if I'm being honest here." "Then you need a good night's rest, Peter. They probably have more lawyers than Columbia's graduation rate at their disposal!" "Guess I'll see ya tomorrow, Pete", says MJ, showing Peter the door. "We always got the morning to hang, don't we?" "Yeah, always", he replies, heading back to May's house.
As the night settles in and stars fill up the sky where clouds once stood, MJ sleeps peacefully, yet disappointed that her Tiger Cub isn't next to her. Seeing a prime opportunity to bond, the goo exits her book bag and silently becomes one with Mary Jane Watson, clinging onto every inch of her body and her mind. Now in secret control of MJ's body, the goo opens the bedroom window and swings off into the Manhattan skyline, using her to get to the one man who hates Peter Parker and Spider-Man just as much at it does; a small man in giant-sized trouble.
END OF CHAPTER 15