Chapter 16
A/N Hello people.
Lau Whisperer and myself, MarionLuth, have written another chapter of WTWTA with a terrific story that continued right from chapter 15.
After the Winchester "family chat" in the park, back in Chapter 12, Amber is grounded. Looking forward to serving her time and then getting a solo trip to stay at Sheriff Jody Mills' house, along with Claire and Alex, Amber tries to adhere to her grounding. Then an old flame, Josh Jarvis, seeks her out, things don't go as planned. Expect arguing Winchester brothers, a moody Amber, and an action-packed scene of retribution. Enjoy.
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Chapter 16
The Way Forward
Silence. The roar of the Impala's engine was all that could be heard as the Winchesters drove back to the motel. Amber, still trembling slightly, was silently rehashing all of her decisions, desperately trying to find something to use as her defense, but ending up with nothing but flawed thinking.
Sam turned to look at her. She looked so forlorn...he felt for her. But she'd broken her grounding and broken their trust. To an extent, this could also be a test of sorts. On him. This was his punishment imposed on her. He wondered, if this was subconsciously Amber's way of pushing the envelope to see just how far he was willing to go. Well, he'd have to show her just how far he was willing to go. Taking away her trip to Jody's pained him, but keeping his word, and being consistent with expectations and promised consequences, was imperative.
This parenting stuff sucked ass!
Watching through the rearview mirror, Dean kept an eye on Amber and was aware of Sam's glances into the backseat. He knew Sam was feeling conflicted, because Sam was the touchy-feely guy. He felt for the kid, too. He really did. But it was much more black and white for him. Cause and effect. And he assumed he'd take charge from there on out. This girl was getting her ass beat.
Dean, making a hard right turn, caused Amber to be thrown to the left, sprawling across the back seat and slightly banging up against the left back driver's side door. "Ow…" was the only sound she made. Sam gave Dean a hard look and glanced back to check on their sister.
"Watch it!" She hissed at Dean, glaring at him at the mirror. She was scared, but her pissy side was quick to emerge. Ambers trembling seemed to have faded.
Not having intended to throw her around, Dean just continued driving, glancing in the rearview mirror to see a resurrected Amber sitting up and looking angry. "You're the one who should be watching it!" Dean immediately snapped.
"Your driving is getting me all bruised up! I know you're pissed, but you don't have to throw me around back here," were Amber's very unwise words. As soon as she said them, the glare she encountered in the rearview mirror told her they had been a mistake. Dean was looking at her briefly contemplating whether to pull over on the side of the road for a quick attitude adjustment before the main event.
Amber felt herself shrink up and become smaller. Geez! What was wrong with her? Why did she always have to keep challenging Dean when it was clear he was already pissed? Lowering her face, she shrunk down into the seat. She was in so much trouble. She really wanted to go to Jody's. Had she lost this? Amber felt like her heart would break if she couldn't.
Sam sized up his brother's glance at Amber, and their sister's response. She had zapped from angry to sad in a matter of seconds. Damn! This was going to be hard.
Amber, having lowered her face, was peripherally aware of Sam checking on her. Her main concern at the moment might be Dean and what he had in store for her, but she couldn't help the guilt that simmered inside her for breaking Sam's grounding. She might not have thought twice about doing the same if it had been Dean's decision, but she hated that she'd disappointed Sam.
Arriving at the motel Dean parked the Impala. Sam, turning to Amber, decided it was time to move this unfortunate set of events forward. "Amber, you go in. Dean and I are going to talk for a bit."
"Talk about me?" Amber asked, her annoyance peaking again. One thing she hated above everything else was being talked about behind her back.
"Are you seriously arguing with us right now?" Dean asked in a dangerous tone, before barking, "Inside! Now!"
With her brother's tone only adding to her frustration, Amber huffed and scooted out behind Sam's seat, before exiting the car from the passenger's side. She made a point of slamming the Impala's door...Hard. Well… as hard as she dared. She wanted to get back at Dean for his yelling, but she wasn't suicidal!
Dean made a move to open his door with the sole intent of catching up with his sister and giving her a taste of what was to come, but Sam's hand clasped at his shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.
"We're the adults, remember? Stop taking the bait! If you want to address this, do so when you're calm and when you decide, not when Amber pushes you." Sam said trying to calm Dean down. What Amber had done called for action, and he and Dean needed to discuss the situation with a clear head and a calm temper.
Aiming his glare at his brother, Dean shook his head. "Talk all you want, Sam. Her ass is mine. She's not getting out of this!"
"Forget it!" Sam immediately countered, steady gaze locking with Dean's.
"Are you freaking kidding me, Sam? We played this your way! And this is the result! She snuck out, ignored the grounding and took off with the scumbag," Dean snapped.
"Exactly, Dean! This was my call! My punishment! She defied me and she'll answer to me! If you get in there and spank her, what does that make me look like? She won't respect me and she won't mind me," Sam argued. When he was sure he had Dean's full attention he added, "Look, I'm as pissed as you are, but as it is, she's losing the trip to Jody's! Have a heart, man!"
"So we do what, Sam? Walk in there, have a heart-to-heart, and take away her trip? She expects to be spanked! We can't back down!"
"She might expect to be spanked, true! But losing this trip is going to be the worst punishment she could get for this, can't you see it? Losing Jody's will be harsh enough, Dean! We can't smack her on top of that!"
Dean's temper was still running hot, but he thought about this. Sam wasn't wrong. Amber was really looking forward to this trip. This loss would be hard for her.
"OK, Sam. We'll finish this your way. I said I'd take a step back and I will. You deal with this. But I'm getting real close to stepping in. Just so you know."
Sam did know.
"Well, how about you go take a ride while I talk with Amber. I think she and I could use some privacy. Go check on Cas. Make sure he doesn't need backup with the rugaru. And if Josh is there, please refrain from killing him."
"No promises," Dean grumbled.
"Grab some dinner before you head back, alright? Amber needs to eat at some point. And get her some salad too, not just burgers and fries! And… Maybe some pie."
"Fine, Sammy," Dean answered as he looked at Sam with an understanding that this was going to be tough on all of them. Exiting the Impala Sam headed to the motel room.
Amber's eyes shifted from her phone to the opening door and she watched as Sam, and only Sam, entered. The numerous snarky comments she had already rehearsed while waiting for the brothers' conference to end never surfaced. They were meant for Dean. With Sam's much calmer approach, she simply couldn't bring herself to throw them at him.
Sam didn't look happy. While he kept a more restrained expression on his face, he was clearly displeased with her. Amber's stomach clenched. She really didn't know what to expect. She was sure she was about to get her ass handed to her. But when only Sam came into the room… She started having second thoughts. Sam wouldn't spank her. Dean would. Dean was all 'I'm gonna beat your ass' and she knew what to expect from him. But right now, she had no idea what to expect from Sam.
Then she remembered their early morning "chat" in the park in Sioux Falls. Sam had been very different that morning. He'd spoken about how, had they been at the bunker, she'd have been spanked...apparently by him. Shit! Was this on the table now? She didn't recall this, but with Dean spouting all kinds of stuff, she really didn't know what to think.
"Amber, come over here. We need to talk." Sam's steady voice indicated he expected her to comply and he wasn't hot under the collar. His eyes were on her with the expectation of her compliance.
Not wishing to make him wait or make things worse for herself, Amber got up from the sofa she was sprawled on and moved towards the small kitchenette's table. She took a seat and started picking at a small crack in the wooden surface with her fingernail, waiting for Sam to begin the conversation.
"Do you recall our talk at Jody's? Right after our talk in the park?"
Amber was listening, but kept her eyes fixed on the crack she was enlarging. She was running through her memory of that morning and all the things they'd talked about. She wasn't sure what part he was talking about, but she remembered their talk.
"Yeah." She was intentionally vague since she didn't wish to commit to any one part of it.
"Do you remember when we offered you the opportunity to visit Jody alone?"
Amber's eyes shot up at that, enlarging with dread. Her voice came out in a hesitant whisper, "Yes…"
"And do you recall what I said would happen if you broke your grounding?" Sam watched his sister stealing another glance up at him. His own eyes met hers squarely. Steady and firm. Amber's expression told Sam that she did remember. "Jody's is not happening," he announced, and waited as Amber heard this. He kept watching her reaction to see where it would go. Would she simply accept this?
"Sam… No! Please!" Amber immediately begged, not caring how whiny or childish she sounded. Not Jody's! It wasn't like it hadn't occurred to her before she decided to sneak out that this was the most probable consequence… But still, a part of her was hoping that Sam and Dean wouldn't go there.
"I'm sorry, Amber. But you knew exactly what to expect if you broke the grounding or disobeyed us in any other way. Your actions have consequences and these are yours," was Sam's firm statement. He had a hard time keeping his face and tone firm with Amber's eyes on the verge of tears.
Amber felt the resolution in his tone. And realization hit her. She had lost this trip. Her eyes filled with tears, which soon spilled down her face. She didn't make a sound, not at first. She sat there, crying silently in the overwhelming sadness of disappointment.
Sam swallowed hard at this sight. He felt his heart was breaking right along with his sister's.
Amber kept crying. She couldn't help it. It was heart wrenching disappointment. Feeling Sam's eyes trained on her, she turned away from him and walked to her bed, layed down curled up on her side, hugged her pillow, and sobbed. All she could see ahead in her life was this ongoing misery. A life of near joy, only to be crushed just as she was about to hold it in her hand.
Sam, recognising the teenage angst being on full bore, decided he'd head outside and text Dean. He didn't know what else to do. He'd give Amber some privacy and room to sort out her feelings and then later he'd attempt to talk this through with her.
Amber peripherally heard Sam moving about the motel room, and although she was immersed in her misery, a thought entered her mind. Could she'd be punished in another way? Would Sam consider an alternative?
Hand on the door, Sam was grabbing his coat, when he heard Amber call his name from the bed, "Sam, wait! Please...can I talk to you?"
Her voice was so fragile, there was no way he could not stop and talk with her.
"Of course, Amb."
Still choked with tears, Amber sat up on the bed, as Sam moved closer, and tried to calm her breathing enough to speak, "Sam...I'm so sorry. I really am. Do you believe me?"
Of course Sam believed her. "Yes, I do Amb, but this was entirely in your own hands. You knew the rules and you agreed to them. We've been over this already. I'm glad to hear you're sorry, but the fact remains that you still have to face the consequences of your actions." Standing up to head on out, Sam looked back at his sister, forlorn and red-eyed.
Seeing her opportunity walking away, Amber panicked. She needed to say this and she needed to say it quick. God, this was so hard.
"OK...Sam, I get it. I blew it. What-if-I-had-a-different-punishment? I'd-still-be-punished-and-then-I-could-go-to-Jody's."
This was blurted out in a run-on sentence and barely intelligible. Amber, sitting up and still holding her pillow, looked like a tearful toddler in need of an afternoon nap.
For an instant Sam felt like he was dealing with a small child and not a near sixteen-year old.
"What?" He wasn't quite sure what he'd just heard. "Amber, slow down. I didn't understand a word you said."
Looking abashed, Amber peaked out over her pillow, wiping her tears. That had taken so much to say. Was she really going to have to repeat it? Augh! This was so humiliating.
Moving closer to her once again, Sam prompted her in a kind, but firm tone. "Amber, what did you say?" Meeting his sister's face, he saw her cheeks flushing a deeper pink. God, she was a mess! Her nose was running and her eyes were red and swollen. Mascara was starting to smear around her eyes.
Deciding to try again, Amber sat up a bit straighter. Wiping at her nose with the back of her hand, she started. "Could you punish me another way? So that I could still go to Jody's?"
As soon as she got this out, her head sort of retracted down onto the top of her pillow, eyes still looking up with her lower face partially hidden from view. Sam was momentarily reminded of a turtle. And it was momentarily adorable.
Sam considered this request. The ramifications would be he was changing the rules to suit her. John Winchester would have given extra discipline for this kind of bargaining. It was unheard of!
As this train of thought worked itself through his mind, Sam recalled Cas' concern for Amber's energetic misalignment and any contributing factors that would further weaken her would contribute to this imbalance. As this thought percolated mentally, it touched off a warning button, specifically that Amber was trying to manipulate him. Of course she was. Bargaining is always a manipulation of a sort...with an agreement resulting when both sides got something they were each wanted. Then it became a compromise. Would he compromise on her discipline? If he did compromise, what would she learn from this? Would this become a routine she'd come to expect from him and he'd regret later on?
The prolonged silence on Sam's part led Amber to believe that he wasn't interested and there was no possibility at all. Slumping down onto her side, she wrapped herself around the pillow and silently began to sob once again, shoulders heaving and face reddening. There was a growing wet spot on her pillow with black mascara stains on the white pillow case.
Considering all of this, Sam was struck by how young and immaturely Amber was acting. This was really out of character for her. She'd been growing in her maturity. He'd seen this. Hell, even Dean had seen this over this past month. Cas had mentioned emotions and erratic behavior...He wondered if this was becoming more complicated and intense for her, because of her developing angel grace.
Then it all fell into place: He knew this from his developmental psychology class. Teen angst results from how teens process their emotions through the amygdala. Not having access to the prefrontal cortex, where maturity seats itself from experience, strong emotions are routed through a structure of the brain responsible for rage and despair...among other strong responses. So, for a teen everything felt like it was the end of the world. Combine this with the untold difficulty of dealing with an angel's grace manifesting, and there you have it. And considering all the neurohormonal changes that kick in at this time, especially for girls, this was one big, freaking shitshow. Adding in the manifesting angel grace...and who knows what this would end up looking like.
This epiphany brought him up short. He'd hear Amber out and consider what she had in mind. If the current punishment actually made matters worse, what good was it?
And...Sam thought he knew where this was going and wasn't opposed to at least hearing Amber out. Sitting down next to his curled up sister, Sam placed a plate-sized hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle rock.
"Amber, why don't you sit up and dry your eyes. Let's talk." He kept his voice steady, with a soft edge.
Feeling his hand rock her, Amber at first wasn't sure what Sam had just said. She was mired deep in her sadness. Another shake to her shoulders got her attention. Still crushing her face into the pillow, she peered up at him, opening one eye. Sam was gazing down at her, a calm expression on his face.
"Hey, sit up."
Hearing this, Amber calmed herself a bit and sat up, still clutching the pillow to herself, arms wrapping around it like it was a Teddy Bear.
"Talk to me. What are you thinking?"
Amber heard Sam's calm tone. It was inviting and reassuring. Could she get Sam to change his mind? Going to Jody's, without the brothers in tow, oh god, she needed this so much! Here it was, Sam was going to listen to her. This was her chance. She took a deep breath. She needed to calm her mind, and get out what she'd been thinking. Taking in another deep breath, this time for courage, she began.
"Sam, I know I messed up. I agreed to the grounding. I even suggested it. But isn't being punished the point? What you had said back at the park… you know, '... a consequence that will deter me,' from sneaking out again and break a grounding. Isn't this the point?"
At Sam's nod, she took in a shaky breath and continued, "Well, what if I had a different punishment? You know, so I could still go to Jody's. Something like that." There, she'd gotten it all out! But she felt so squeamish, absolutely mortified that she was talking to Sam about her own punishments.
Sam considered this. "Go on."
Here, Amber was feeling her stomach drop to her feet. A tingling wave of remembered humiliation swept across her hindquarters. This part was so embarrassing. Sam saw a flush grow on Amber's face. This was clearly very hard for her. He waited.
Looking down at the bed, not being able to lift her eyes to face her brother, Amber pushed forward.
"So, when we were at the park you said that if we'd been at the bunker you'd have spanked me. But since we were at Jody's and in a park, you grounded me instead. But you would have...uh...you'd have spanked me."
This last part was said in a whispered voice. An even deeper red blush covered the whole of Amber's cheeks, up to her ears and down her throat and chest.
Yeup. That's where Sam had thought she was going with this.
"So, are you asking me to spank you instead of grounding you?" he asked in a tone of serious inquiry. Was she really asking him to do this?
Looking up at him briefly, Amber nodded, and then hid her eyes. She sat still, eyes averted, listening intently, aware of his body movements. Now that it was out there Amber felt like she was holding her breathe.
Sam was seriously considering everything Amber had just put on the table. Would this be an equivalent he could live with? Would Dean give him shit if he did this? Yes to both. But this was his call. The benefit Amber would gain from being at Jody's had the potential to far outweigh any leverage he gave up.
But how would he keep this from becoming an ongoing negotiation? If he didn't do this right, he could imagine what a fucking mess this would spiral into. The power struggle from hell, with Dean stepping in with his one solution. Yeah, Dean would do that and Amber knew this, too. And...this could work in his favor.
An idea forming, he finally nodded. "OK, Amber. I think this is fair. But I'm going to add this stipulation: Any future attempt at negotiating a set punishment from now on will be dealt with by Dean. Do you think Dean would go for this?"
Amber's eyes shot up in stunned shock. It hadn't crossed her mind to try this more than once, but if it worked, she might have. If she could pull this off, it would be a one-time thing. Sam was making it clear that if she were to try this again he was going to hand her off to Dean. Considering a scenario where she'd ask Dean to renegotiate discipline, all she could see was the whooping from hell.
"OK," was the only thing Amber could say. It was a sobering moment.
But, she was inching closer to Jody's.
Facing Amber, Sam acknowledged her response, nodding. This put Sam in the position of having to follow through here. Those upside down U's appeared on his brow. Momentarily, he looked like he was the one in trouble.
Shifting his own emotions to what appeared to be the next order of business, Sam stood up. He hated this. Besides those few swats he'd given Amber her first few days in the bunker...well, that was the limit of his experience. He'd never been the one doling it out. Recalling his own experiences, Bobby was the best example he cared to emulate.
As he worked out how this would go, Amber sat on the edge of the bed, legs tucked under her. Her eyes tracked him as if at any second he might change his mind.
Bobby's approach with Sam had been mostly talking... after the strong lecture. This was usually all it took for Sam to correct his attitude. But there was this one particularly memorable time, Sam must have been around ten, that Bobby had to take a firmer hand with him. John had been on a hunt with Dean, and Sam had stayed with Bobby.
Being one of the few adults with permission to step in as needed, Bobbie Singer had been like a second father to the boys. And with all of Bobby's stuff so enticing, Sam had been explicitly told not to touch anything, especially the gun case he'd been looking at intently. When Bobby's back was turned Sam had opened the gun case only to discover a rifle rolled up tightly in a cloth. Unrolling it, it seemed like an ordinary rifle.
Sam knew how to handle guns. He'd been handling them ever since John had given him a .45. He'd been nine.
Being 'dumped' at Bobby's, Sam felt he was being babied and resented being left behind and being restricted from handling this rifle. Bobby had come back into the room just in time to catch Sam running through the safety checks with the breach broken open, barrel pointing to the ground.
Eyes big and his voice a startled gruffness, Bobby had freaked.
"Sam, you ijit, give me that!"
Bobby had grabbed the rifle from him, quickly rolled it back up into its sigil-marked cloth, and locked it up. Sam had watched this with dread. Bobby had been very angry, but Sammy could tell it was a frightened anger. After Bobby finished securely stowing away the gun, Sam had ended up over Bobby raised knee, with Bobby's belt being used on him over the seat of his jeans. It hadn't hurt like John's beltings, but the fear had been high and it had hurt enough.
As an adult Sam understood that going through the motions had as much of a reinforcement as the actual pain. With Bobby, the belt has been more of a psychological implement than intended to leave welts.
He couldn't say the same for John...or even Dean, at times. Bobby had never done this again, because he hadn't needed to.
Sam, standing in the motel room looking around, found what he needed: The solid metal ridge just below the box strings of Amber's bed. It was a solid edge and not too high.
Deciding this was it, Sam turned to Amber's wide eyes and said, "OK, I'll do this. Amber, come here."
He started to undo his belt and Amber's heart stopped...and so did her feet.
Never in a million years had she expected that Sam would do this. "Saaam!" was the startled whine that escaped Amber's lips. Her face had gone pale and she looked scared.
Sam saw her stop and hoped she wouldn't make him come after her. "Amber, come here. Now that this has been decided, the rest is not your decision. Come here, please." His voice was firm and deep. He continued taking off his belt, folding it in half. Reaching his arm out, as if to guide Amber to his side, he kept his eyes locked on her. He was neither stern nor angry. He was firm.
"Amber, this is the second time you've selected your own punishment. Will this be the second time you break your agreement?" Amber heard this, knowing her trip to Jody's hinged on this trade off. Wanting to get past this as soon as possible, Sam continued, "Come here. Let's get this over with." He was nervous. Sam leveled his eyes at her.
Internally, he was dreading this, but he'd decided he was going to suck-it-up and do his job.
"Sam, please don't use your belt," was Amber's whine. She still hadn't taken a step towards him.
Sam regarded her steadily as he spoke his next words, "Amber, if you don't come over here right now, I'm gonna do this on your bare ass." His tone was still steady, but his voice increased in volume punctuating his words. This was the ultimate threat in the Winchester arsenal. "I didn't plan to, but I will if you keep defying me on this. Now, come here!" God, this was taking so much out of him. He felt like he was wrapping iron bands around his chest, trying to keep everything on an even keel. He was succeeding for now.
His tone was steady, and his louder voice told Amber he wasn't bluffing. Her cheeks flushing a deeper red at the mere thought of catching it bare from Sam, and she hustled over to his side. Once within arms length, Sam placed his left foot on the metal ledge, raising his knee to about Amber's hip height. Hauling her to his side, he pulled her over his knee and locked her in place. He felt Amber stiffen up and he had to put some force to make her bend forward. She was fighting him, struggling against this, but he was determined to do this.
Despite this whole thing being her own idea, Amber couldn't stop herself. As soon as she felt Sam trying to put her in position, she simply couldn't help but struggle. She didn't want a belting. She'd never thought Sam capable of this!
When the thought came to her, she imagined Sam would give her a light hand spanking and that would be it. Not that it wouldn't suck, Sam's palm was huge and she was sure it would cover her whole ass with each smack. But she could deal with that. A belting on the other hand… God no! When her struggling proved useless against Sam's strength, she found herself bent over his raised knee, her feet barely touching the floor.
"No! Sam, please, no!" Amber pleaded in a loud voice. This was so scary and she knew the belt was coming. Remembering Dean's use of his belt, she absolutely dreaded this. It had taken three days for the red splotches on her bottom to vanish and for sitting to stop being uncomfortable.
As Sam was nearly ready to begin his task, it was becoming a bit athletic. Amber was stronger than expected. She was no match for his strength, sure, but it still made this more difficult than he'd thought it'd be. Reaching around Amber's waist, he held her securely in place, keeping her arms out of the way so he could get this done.
The first swat of the belt had yet to fall, but tears were already falling from Amber's face.
And then he started.
Raising his hand, Sam brought the belt down with very little force. Still, this first strike felt like a solid whack and Amber felt the sting. Keeping his intention focused, and watching Amber's reactions, Sam brought the belt down again. This was hard. He felt Amber's struggling and he tightened his grip in response.
He'd never thought he'd have to do this, but this parenting stuff was all about firsts. Repeating the blows, he brought the belt down several more times. Sam felt himself breaking out in a sweat. It was as much from exertion as from the stress of it.
Feeling the sting building in her behind, Amber's arms were flailing about, attempting to cover herself. She couldn't get past Sam's arm and she was helpless to stop this.
Reaching for any thing she could grab, Amber latched onto Sam's belt loops, hauling herself upwards in an attempt to get out of his grip. This was unexpected and Sam reacted with a forceful response.
"Amber, Let go!"
His words fell on deaf ears, as the girl kept trying to get out of his grip. This was turning into a struggle. This wasn't the quick discipline he'd envisioned and Sam was feeling his patience wavering.
"Amber, you will stop this instant or this will be much worse." he said, the volume of his voice rising slightly. He took in a deep breath as he gave Amber another chance to get herself under control. He felt his irritation growing. He hadn't wanted to do this. This was Amber's idea and it was with her best interests in mind that he was forced into this position. And now she was fighting him and pulling on him?!
Deciding that giving her any more time would only further aggravate both of them, Sam pivoted his body, taking Amber with him, and sat down on the bed. He brought Amber forward, sprawling across his left thigh, keeping her upper body wrapped tightly underneath his left arm. Her legs were now kicking and he trapped them between his own, stopping them completely. With her body secured and locked down, Sam added eight more solid belt whacks...landing them on her upper thighs and bottom. He paused and told her in a clear tone, "This would have been over if you hadn't fought me tooth and nail. We'd be finished by now." He'd already landed eighteen swats. "But for this little tantrum you just threw, you're getting five more!"
Amber sobbed even louder at his words. While securely held, she could do nothing but take the five extra swats. Her tears were flowing and she'd been letting out gasps of pain. Sam had never imagined what this had been like for Dean, Bobby, or even his father.
It was horrible!
Finished with the last five, Sam had stopped and was calming himself down. His adrenaline was flowing and this scared him. He never wanted to have his own fight or flight response become involved in discipling Amber. It was too dangerous and far from the point.
He set his belt down on the bed and used both hands to grip Amber's torso, lifting her up. She was a mess.
"Hey, hey. Amber, it's over. Sh, sh, sh," he said in a soothing voice to calm her down. He was concerned that her angel grace would kick in and who knows how that would go.
Randomly, Sam considered asking Cas about how to approach this sort of thing with Amber's angel grace...and then it struck him: Ask Cas what exactly? Nope. He couldn't do this. This was too private. Amber would never forgive him if this became an open topic of conversation in the bunker.
As she was lifted up, Amber felt herself angry at Sam. Deeply angry. Angrier than she'd ever been with him. He'd really spanked her. As he guided her back onto the bed to sit down, she winced. Amber felt overwhelmed by this whole thing, by Sam doing this. She kept crying, but now even harder than before. Her face was a contortion of angry and tearful. The punishment was over and now she was sobbing harder, with this angry-eyed glare on top. Sam was at a loss.
"Amber. Hey, hey. Look at me. You're OK." Holding her steady between his two hands, he got her attention and finally...she was calmed just a bit.
Amber gulped and made some wet noises. Getting hold of herself she stopped most of the tears. A few stray ones leaked out and were wiped away by the back of her hand. Eyebrows lowered over moody green eyes, she was working herself up. Amber was angry.
"Fuck you, Sam! Fuck you." With adrenaline still coursing through her system, this was her gut response.
Sam heard this and was hurt by it. But he held on tight and kept her in place. What the hell!
She'd expected a sedate little smacking over his knee and instead she got a full on belting. It had not yet occurred to her that, between Sam and Dean, Sam's version was almost a tickle. Dean, well, she'd expected harsh discipline from him and he didn't disappoint. But not from Sam...and this is where her anger was coming from. Expectations.
Looking down at his sister, Sam could hardly believe what he just heard. This girl had just cursed at him. His own face hardened and he was getting upset. After all of this, where did she get off talking this way to him? He knew that, out of a total of twenty-three whacks, only about half were impressive. He'd thought this had been more than enough. If the equivalency of losing a trip to Jody's was on the line, he judged Amber had paid the emotional toll that fit the return. He knew he had been lenient with her, but he also knew that the shock alone, of him actually doling out a belting, was enough to get the point across. Amber's reaction had confirmed this.
He still wondered why her angel grace hadn't kicked in. He'd been expecting to be blasted across the room at any moment and it hadn't happened. Perhaps he would bring this up to Cas...after giving the angel a lesson in the etiquette of confided information. Then his mind went to her healing factor. Why hadn't that kicked in? Yes, these were definitely things to be discussed with Cas.
Sam kept a firm hold on her torso, not letting her move from the edge of the bed. Holding her in place was easy now. He'd stood up and was using the gravity of his downward weight through his arms to keep her still. Initially her breathing had been in ragged intakes of air, but was calming down. She was getting a grip on her panic and working down to the angry, whiny stage.
"Sam, god dammit! You really hurt me!" Amber tucked on after a few silent seconds.
Sam knew this was an exaggeration, but resisted rolling his eyes.
"Amber, I hardly used any strength on you. Believe me. Dean's been punched with my full force and he knows what I can do. You, little sister, just had your butt warmed." He felt himself smiling. This girl...such dramatics.
Still upset, Amber considered this and was now reflective enough to know that he was telling the truth. But still, this was so unexpected...from Sam.
"And where do you come off cussing me out? This was your idea. I should give you more for taking that tone with me," Sam said this in a serious voice, volume up as he really was taken aback by her insults.
Hearing himself say this was surreal. He'd heard Bobby say this many times...usually to Dean. And now it was in his voice. Well, Bobby wasn't a bad role model. Far better than John Winchester had been. That's for sure.
Feeling satisfied that Amber's reaction to his words was to scoot back on the bed, keeping her backside away from him, Sam felt he'd earned a bit of respect from her.
Remember who's calling the shots here young lady...was Sam's inner dialog. While he didn't wish to make Amber afraid of him, he needed her to know and follow the rules of this family...and know that they'd be enforced. And for her to learn her place in it. It wasn't her submission he wanted, but her following directions and doing what she said she would.
It was imperative for her safety. For all of their safety.
Looking up at Sam, Amber realized that she was in the wrong here. And she remembered that she was going to Jody's. A little bright spot flashed alive in her heart, like lighting a pilot light on a gas stove.
But this had been so humiliating. And unexpected! And this was what she kept circling back to. This had been so unexpected...from him.
Amber was still keeping her backside away from Sam, but he decided he needed to get her to talk to him. Re-establish the lines of their usual communication. Looking down at her from his 6'4" height, Sam was searching Amber's face for signs of the sister he knew.
Catching his gaze lingering on her, Amber sniffed before looking up at him, then back down and back up, before hesitantly asking, "So… Does this mean I'm going to Jody's?" No longer angry, her voice was a mixture of hope and fear of betrayal.
Sam reflected that this had been the arrangement and he'd carried it out in a way he felt was a fit exchange for this, yet he needed to make sure the punishment had served its purpose. "Well, that depends. Did you learn your lesson? What was this spanking for?" He asked in his default conversational tone.
Flushing bright red at the choice of his words, Amber resisted the urge to flip him off. Barely. "For breaking the grounding and sneaking out," was Amber's subdued response.
"Exactly. And will we ever have a repeat of either of these?" Sam pressed on, eyes locked on Amber's.
"No, Saaam! C'mon! I'm sooorry," Amber whined.
This sufficed. Nodding, Sam acknowledged this. "Then yes. You'll be going to Jody's."
At the relieved grin that lit up her face, Sam couldn't help but smile himself.
"Thanks, Sam! I'm really sorry!"
"I know you are… But, Amber, I don't want to ever have to do this again." He could see her sober face and contrite expression, which showed she did comprehend his meaning. "I know you didn't expect this and, frankly, neither did I. But this happened, you deserved it and it's done. And if need be, it will happen again. Don't make this happen again. Do you understand?"
This was said in a firm, deep voice. Amber did understand this. Sam's eyes searched her face. He really wanted her to get this. As he did, he watched as her grin evaporated and morphed into a deeply sad expression. Sam remained looking at her, searching his thoughts for this cause. What had he said? This was not the expected reaction to his warning. Learning forward so both his hands were on Amber's shoulders, Sam looked her straight in the face.
"Hey… What's wrong?"
Amber didn't say anything for a minute. When she eventually spoke, her tone was a mixture of exasperation and whining. "It's just… It feels different with you now! You've suddenly become so mean!"
Oh, for crying out loud! Sam leaned back and looked at Amber with a small shake of his head.
"No, Amb. What's different is that you're actually challenging me. It's not just Dean anymore. I didn't become mean all of a sudden, I just dealt out consequences for the first time. And you don't like it. But this is not me being mean, or things being different. This is you choosing to defy and challenge me right along with Dean. Up to now, you were focusing on him."
Amber mulled these words over in her head. It hadn't occurred to her before, but now that Sam mentioned it… She realised he may be right. Ever since Asa's wake she had been challenging Sam one way or another.
Seeing the realisation settling into her expression, Sam smiled a cynical smile. "Even now, right after getting the spanking you asked for, you cursed at me for agreeing to your idea. How do you think this makes me feel? What do you think Dean would have done to you if you'd told him to fuck off in the same situation, hummm?"
Amber knew full well what Dean would've done. She'd cursed him and spit in his face once...and she'd found out real quick!
"Amber, what do you think Dean would've done?" was Sam's harder tone. He wasn't letting this go.
Amber was reluctant to respond to this...even though they both knew. "I don't think whatever Dean would or would not have done has anything to do with our discussion," she answered in an attempt to avoid answering altogether.
"That's not what I asked, is it? What would Dean have done?"
"Alright!" Amber said in a raised voice, looking defiant. She was getting her attitude back. "He'd have busted my ass. Is this enough for you? He'd have busted my ass, Sam."
While Sam was relieved to see Amber's spirit wasn't easily defeated, he was also feeling that she was lapsing back into her bad attitude way too quickly.
"Exactly. Count yourself doubly lucky you dealt with me and not Dean for this whole fiasco… And cool your jets. This attitude isn't helping me feel you've learned your lesson. I just did you a favor. You're going to Jody's and this is all behind you. Show some gratitude," Sam scolded. This girl!
Despite the sharp tone, Sam's face wasn't angry. Warning was written all over it though, and Amber was realizing she didn't wish to find out what he'd do if she didn't comply. And he wasn't wrong. He had done her a favor. And she was thankful. Much more than she showed.
Lowering her gaze, Amber's body was relaxing and her shoulders slumped down, collapsing inward looking as if she was physically retracting her words. Good! Sam had won this round.
Leaning forward, Sam placed a hand on Amber's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Amb, be careful what you ask for. You may get your wish."
This struck Amber as funny, and despite herself, she cracked a smile. Sam smiled back at her. There it was...that brilliant little light that shone from within her eyes. Leaning in, he gave her a quick peck on the top of her head, drew her in for a hug, and grabbed his belt from where it still lay on the bed.
"Go get yourself cleaned up, Amb. You'll feel better. I think Dean should be back any minute now. I'll go text him." Turning back to look at her, he took a moment to still his speech, and look her in the eyes. "Amb, I love you," was his tender inflection.
This was the first time Sam had said this. They'd felt it, but this was the first time it had been verbalized between the siblings. Amber's eyes brightened and without giving it much thought, she scooted to the edge of the bed. Reaching forward she grasped Sam around the waist and hugged his long torso. He felt the simplicity of this gesture of love and repentance, and hugged her back. Again, kissing her on the top of her head he gave her a pat on the back. "OK, go get cleaned up."
Checking his texts Sam saw Dean's message about heading back to the motel and bringing food. Apparently the rugaru turned and Cas had decided to be merciful and ended his suffering quickly with his touch. The Josh kid had left after this...apparently still alive.
Not really thinking at all, Sam walked out of the motel door, belt still in his hand and he started threading it back into his belt loops. This lapse in etiquette came face-to-face with Dean on his way back from the Impala to their room. He was carrying two takeout bags stained with grease...the scent of burgers and fries in the air. It looked like he had made a stop at their new favorite burger place. Dean slowed his pace and watched Sam.
Sizing up Sam's action he was rethinking everything he knew about his little brother. Well, seems that Sam had come over to his way of thinking.
As Sam finished threading his belt through the final loop and buckling it, it finally struck him how inappropriate it was to be doing this in public. He'd been so absorbed in reflecting on the events of the past forty minutes, he'd been on autopilot.
Walking right by him, Dean looked Sam in the eye as he passed. Sam still looked flushed, and kind of dishevelled.
"So, did she live?" was Dean's only remark.
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