CHAPTER 16 | STRIFE

NOVEMBER 25, 2038

7:13PM

Without a free hand to knock on Hank's front door, Barbara kicked it as gently as she could, but still hard enough to resemble a knock. The rubber sole of her boot left a black streak at the bottom of Hank's door, and she hoped he wouldn't notice.

Thanksgiving at Hank's had become a sort of tradition between the two of them after Cole passed away. Barbara had limited contact with her parents and had usually spent the holidays alone, watching old movies. She couldn't remember who had invited who for the first time, though she had a feeling it was probably herself in a rare moment of weakness.

Even if one of them was working, they'd find a way to spend the holiday together, even if it was as disgusting as canned cranberry sauce and a microwaved green beans at the office. The home cook in her shuddered at that particular memory. This year, she was somewhat thankful to suspended from work so she could prep the proper dishes, which she split up amongst Hank and herself, even though she had limited access to food because of the evacuation, but she made do.

Barbara's foot-only knock did the trick because the door opened within minutes, and Connor stood in front of her. He wore a red sweater and jeans, and for a split second she didn't recognize him without his telltale jacket, tie, and glowing armband. He looked handsome, as always, but the sight of him in regular clothes made him even more so. She never disliked the jacket, of course, but he seemed so much more himself...this way.

Especially when he met her with a smile, helping her sit down the box full of food in her arms, and pulled her into a cordial hug. Even in the short embrace she was comforted by how real he felt. "How are you?" he asked, just as Hank came around the corner from his kitchen, looking a little frazzled.

Sumo came trotting down the hall as well, and they all exchanged a moment to greet one another, all cheery, like something straight out of a holiday commercial, the snow falling down outside as a family came together for the first time since last year. Only they made the most dysfunctional family - if you could even call it that - that she'd ever seen.

"Hey kid, how you doing?" Hank asked.

"Great," Barbara said confidently, though it wasn't entirely the truth. Her suspension had been more of a punishment than she'd expected. Between the empty city and the harsh weather, her apartment had begun to feel like a prison. She was reaping the consequences of her own actions, but she still didn't feel any remorse. Hell, one of the things Fowler had required her to do was write an apology to Gavin Reed. A quick peruse of templates on Google had done the trick, she couldn't be bothered to do anything besides fill in empty spaces and send it in an email. She wasn't one to waste her own words on something so futile.

In her mind, she'd done the right thing. And Connor was standing safely in front of her, which was ultimately all she cared about.

An abandoned Detroit was disturbing to witness. It was eerie. Grim. She'd lived in the city her whole life. She had a love-hate relationship with it, but could at least admit it never bored her. It had always been the joke of America - an impoverished and run-down town filled with crime, drugs, and a struggling economy. But she always felt like outsiders had no place to criticize. And when CyberLife had chosen to place their headquarters in the city, for a short time, things had been looking up. That was before anyone understood what exactly they were doing.

After a few minutes of pleasantries and Barbara placing her food in the oven to stay warm, Hank tasked her and Connor with setting the table, which he'd moved into his living room so they would have more space. The TV was on, they were playing a rerun of the Macy's Day Parade. Barbara found it funny that in other cities life still went on as if nothing had happened...whereas in Detroit, it seemed as though time had stopped.

"It's nice of you to help Hank out with all this...considering that you don't even get to enjoy any of the food..." Barbara said to Connor, who had paused while folding a napkin and was staring at the television. He didn't appear to be focused on the program, however, it was almost as if he was looking past it...buried deep within his own psyche. Connor wasn't one to get distracted.

She hadn't seen Hank since her last day at work, and hadn't seen Connor since the day in the park. She'd suspected processing what he'd been through was taking a lot out of him, more than he was letting on. In the few phone calls she'd had with Hank, he said he'd been awfully withdrawn. Barbara wanted to talk to him, though she wasn't sure that any advice she could offer would be of any use. He was much more advanced than she was, in many ways. Words of wisdom from someone as lost as herself were unlikely to be valuable, and she was only human.

At the sound of her voice, he turned his head to look at her. His LED spun in a gold disk briefly before he nodded. "I don't mind...it's the least I could do since Hank's letting me stay with him."

Barbara nodded she looked around Hank's living area. It was uncannily tidier than the last time she'd been over, she suspected that was not his doing. "It looks like you've cleaned the place up quite a bit."

Connor shrugged. "I don't have much to do right now, and it was a mess. He's gone at work all day, so I thought I'd make myself useful. The amount of dust he'd allowed to collect on his bookshelves was lowering the air quality significantly. Hank did not seem to share my concern for his state of living."

Barbara felt her mouth tug up in a smirk at his matter-of-fact delivery. Even if it wasn't his intention, the moments when he sounded miffed reminded her of a disappointed parent. She'd been on the receiving end of this irritation several times, but found it a little endearing. Connor turned back from gesturing at Hank's bookshelves, which had been organized neatly in alphabetical order, the limited trinkets he used as decoration had been cleaned and displayed much more neatly than they had before.

"How've you been?" she asked, putting the final napkin in place and pretending she didn't hear something clatter to the floor in the kitchen, followed by a hushed curse from Hank. Connor's eyes flickered behind her briefly, then back to her.

"Fine," Connor said. "Why do you ask?"

She couldn't tell if he was being defensive, or genuinely curious, so she answered as safely as possible. "It's just something you ask your... friends," she said.

"I understand," he said. Barbara sat on the couch and studied him, tucking one leg underneath her. She wasn't quite sure how to talk to him, as it dawned on Barbara she only really knew him from work, and he didn't seem like one for small talk. Neither was she, so it was okay.

He seemed focused on the TV, or maybe lost in thought. She wanted to reach out and push the damn piece of hair that always fell onto his forehead off his face, let her thumb graze lazily across his cheekbone. Barbara halted the thought in its tracks.

Connor was hiding something, but she couldn't put her finger on what. He had every reason to be upset, but she couldn't place exactly what was troubling him. And she hesitated to press about whatever it was. After all, she was only human.

As the dust settled from the android uprising and the world became silent around him, Connor could hear the noise ricocheting in his mind much louder. It made sense. Of course an artificial mind so advanced would feel things with so much more intensity. It was a curse. And no amount of research seemed to really help, besides in identifying basic emotions. He had so many questions that were spinning constantly through his system, it almost seemed impossible to pluck one and focus on it while the others fluttered around. He stayed quiet. Any understanding he seemed to have on what it meant to be alive almost immediately slipped through his grasp.

Depending on the day, Hank would sleep in, leave for work in the late morning, and wouldn't return until well after dark. After cramming some concoction of food in his mouth for dinner, he'd be off to bed. So, Connor was at least content to spend some extended time with his two old partners, even just for the evening.

As for Barbara, he was in a bit of a predicament. In her absence he had begun to develop an affection for her he didn't quite understand. Not all of the experiences he'd had were pleasant, but she was the steady force that stood alongside him. Of course, he initially dismissed his infatuation as some pleasantry his systems created to distract from his real concerns, but being with her again made him question that conclusion.

There was still so much he wanted to learn about her, only this time, it wasn't so that he could be more successful in his mission...it was just because he wanted to know. Barbara was human, tender, warm, and soft. A little evasive, maybe, but he found that endearing somehow. Regardless, she didn't seem to share how gentle she was with everyone. He'd seen the way she'd interacted with other coworkers at the office. A hardened exterior, but always polite - nothing more.

The kindness she'd shown him was unexpected, and something inside him liked that he was one of the select few that got to see it. Even if...he didn't deserve it. Maybe she treated him well because she felt the same as he did - but several analyses told him that was unlikely.

It was easier for him to think about her then it was to think about what was really tearing him apart, the question of his existence and all the horrible, terrible things that he had done.

He joined Hank and Barbara at the table, where Hank was pouring Barbara a glass of white wine. Connor had done a bit of research, and had helped Hank prepare several of the dishes. While focused on cooking, he had a bit of reprieve from his woes and began to understand why so many humans took it up as a hobby.

"How are things down at the precinct?" Barbara asked Hank after they'd began eating.

Hank shrugged. "Mostly dealing with minor stuff, break-ins and vandalism," he said, but paused as if he remembered something. "Although, there was a murder last week. No physical evidence but we think it was a murder gone wrong. And this week, Fowler created a task force for when the government comes in for negotiations."

Barbara paused with a spoonful of sweet potatoes halfway to her mouth, her eyes flickering briefly to Connor. "When will that happen?"

Hank had already relayed this information to him, but judging by Barbara's expression, this was a shock to her. Connor truthfully had felt numb when Hank told him. There wasn't much he could do to control the situation from this distance.

"No idea. Super confidential stuff," Hank began. "Could be months, but if Fowler put it together it means someone reached out. It's all very new."

Barbara raised her eyebrows and took a long pull on her white wine. Connor noticed Hank hadn't poured one for himself. His drinking problems weren't a subject Connor had ever brought up, but since he'd moved in, they seemed to be remedying themselves without too much intervention.

As if he'd heard what Connor was thinking, Hank sighed. "City's so goddamn lonely like this. Feels like a foreign place."

Barbara nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it's too quiet, I'm in my building all alone."

"How's your friend, Alexis?" Hank asked. "Didn't you say she was pregnant?"

"Yeah," Barbara nodded. "She's fine, but she and her husband, Austin evacuated well before the revolution, I think she was staying with her family in Frankenmuth. She was around eight months along, too, so I think she wanted to be in a secure place for the last few weeks."

Barbara looked over at Connor. "Alexis has been my neighbor for the past few years. She and her husband Austin are good friends of mine and they just got married, and now they're having a baby."

Connor nodded as he took in this information, which wasn't particularly useful to him but he supposed it was Barbara's attempting to include him in the conversation. And to be fair, he didn't know much about her life outside of work.

"Damn," Hank murmured. "Can't believe everyone's gone. No idea when I'll have another drink at Jimmy's."

Barbara rolled her eyes playfully. "I'll never understand your obsession with that dive."

"Jimmy makes the best drinks in Detroit," Hank said.

"Makes the best drinks in Detroit," Barbara repeated, her eyes narrowing as she stared down Hank. "All he does is pour bottom shelf liquor in a glass and slide it to you over the bar."

Hank chuckled, but didn't back down. "Babs, don't pretend like you haven't spent a happy hour or two there."

Barbara paused and pressed her lips together. "Yeah, when I was broke and in the academy and couldn't afford to go anywhere else," her eyes flickered downwards. Connor was amused by their banter. He wondered if their relationship had always been this way, when it wasn't strained by work conflicts or...himself.

After dinner was over, Hank began to clear the table, and in the process, knocked the cranberry sauce all over the front of his shirt, the glass bowl that had been holding it shattering on the floor.

"Aw shit," he grumbled, trying to clean it up but only making the stain on his shirt worse. Barbara, who had been walking towards his sink with dishes in her hands, turned at the sound of the dish hitting the floor. "I've gotta fucking change out of this. Can you both handle the dishes?"

"Did you do that on purpose to get out of cleaning up?" Barbara asked, snickering over her shoulder from the sink.

"You think I'd ruin a nice shirt to get out of doing dishes?" Hank hissed, though it wasn't laced with any tension as Connor knelt to pick up the large pieces of broken glass that had been strewn all over the floor. He was sure he'd have to sweep it thoroughly to be sure no minuscule shards ended up in anyone's feet.

"Yeah, actually, I do..." she quipped back.

Hank grunted at her. "Do you want to stay for the movie or not? Cause I can kick you out."

"I'm kidding!" Barbara said, chiding him. "I think we can handle it."

After discarding the majority of the glass and wiping up the mess Hank had made, Connor stepped next to Barbara at the sink, who was nearly done with all the dishes. He heard Hank's bathroom sink running, and picked up a towel to help her dry the dishes.

Carefully, he studied her profile, her lip drawn between her teeth, deep in thought. There was silence between them, and every word or phrase he attempted seemed to get stuck halfway before leaving his mouth, until finally he settled on an easy question.

"How is your time off?" Connor asked her, which was a failed attempt at any interesting conversation, he thought, but he found he couldn't think of anything else that might be engaging.

Barbara shrugged, glanced over at him as she started stacking the dishes in Hank's cabinets. "I took some cold case files from the DPD before I left. I wasn't technically supposed to...but I knew I'd get stir-crazy if I didn't have anything to do."

Pausing, she let the cabinet door shut with a muted thud, turning slightly to face him, seemingly conflicted. Her mouth opened, but instead of speaking she took a deep breath, and then her eyes darted away. "I'll be honest...this whole suspension, paired with the city being evacuated is...I feel lonely. I haven't been able to sleep at night," she tried to punctuate the phrase with a snort and a grin, as if to brush off the sincerity of what she'd just said. But Connor knew now what a real smile from her looked like, and this was pained.

That was an unexpected revelation, and perhaps the most open Barbara had ever been without him having to prompt it out of her. It boosted his mood slightly, that she felt inclined to share this with him, but the idea of her being lonely didn't make him feel good. And then came the dilemma of how to respond. "I'm sorry," was all he could manage, and then scolded himself for not thinking through his answer more thoroughly.

"It's fine, Connor," she said, then snorted. "That was kind of pathetic for me to say, anyways." she tucked a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

"No, it wasn't," he glanced towards her briefly as her eyes fluttered downward, ashamed.

His systems debated on his next words, hopefully more reassuring, as his line of sight followed hers, absentmindedly, down to her bare feet, just as she took a step forward to move into Hank's living room.

"Wait-" he held out an arm to stop her, unable to stop the panic from seeping in his voice as he registered the situation she was about to walk into.

"What?" she asked, eyes widening.

"I haven't had the chance to sweep the floor yet, and it'd be rather unfortunate if you sustained lacerations trying to walk through the kitchen," he began. "There are still microscopic pieces of glass that have yet to be discarded."

Barbara stared at him blankly for a moment, then sighed. "I appreciate that, but I think I'll be okay."

As she tried to step forward again, Connor stepped in front of her and blocked her path. "Barbara," he warned. "I'm trying to protect you," he said.

She let out a groan of frustration. "Connor, don't be so stubborn. It'll be a scratch at worst," she argued.

"Even a scratch can introduce bacteria," he informed her, and she stared at him with one eyebrow raised. "And once infection sets in, there are a number of outcomes ranging from-"

"Okay weirdo," she cut him off, deadpanned, looking up and stepping closer to him. The insult would have left him dejected, if it weren't for the hint of humor he detected in her voice. "I don't need the analytics. If you're going to be this difficult, couldn't you just carry me out to the living room?"

Connor smirked slightly, feeling some of the tension leave. "If that's okay with you."

"It doesn't seem like I have much of a choice, does it?" she quipped, and carefully Connor knelt to collect her in his arms.

It was effortless, which was to be expected, but what Connor wasn't expecting the bit of ardor he felt with her so close. Her arms wrapped loosely around his shoulders, Barbara giggled, which was a foreign sound from her, sweet and airy, delicate. If it were possible, his knees would have gone weak with the sound of it. "Wow, you're so strong," she observed, a hint of sarcasm in her voice, and Connor avoided her eyes, which remained fixated on him as he walked carefully to Hank's living room. Her gaze made his face feel warm, which was an unfamiliar sensation.

"It's nice to see you smiling again," she remarked to him as he set her down, she clung to his shoulders as she found her footing and then stepped away. The loss of contact was disappointing to Connor, as was her remark, and her eyes, so attentive and all-seeing, scanned him again.

When he didn't respond, she stepped closer to him. He heard Hank cross the hallway and slam the door to his bedroom shut, most likely to change. "Are you okay, Connor?" she asked him, her hand rising to place on his arm gently. Connor didn't think he could answer that question...not concisely.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he asked quickly, but his tone sounded slightly defensive.

"You seem...off," she stated, matter-of factly.

And her proximity again sent a flurry of activity through him. Her eyes were pining to connect with his, and he obliged, tilting his chin down to look at her. He had been searching his systems for an acceptable answer but couldn't find one, and Barbara, being so damn observant had sensed his hesitation. He could lie, he was capable of lying, all he needed to do was say that he was fine, and that could end it all. But for some reason, he'd been locked out of his negotiating procedures and he couldn't speak. He couldn't lie, not to her.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I understand," she stepped closer to him, unconsciously his eyes cast downwards towards her lips but he snapped them back quickly. They were full, parted slightly. "I want you to know that you can talk to me...if you need to."

Barbara wasn't one to break eye contact, which was making this even more difficult for him. He was processing her words and it was only making him more conflicted.

Whatever had him attracted to her in the first place had taken over, or maybe it was just him. He had to remind himself that. Sometimes, he was responsible. In theory, the idea of Barbara was light and innocent, a pleasant distraction. With her so close, however, it was a reality. His body was reacting ways he'd never experienced or even expected, his thirium pump had increased its flow to compensate for the thousand calculations it felt as though he was doing, to cool his overheating systems.

Her thumb moved carefully on his forearm, only further drawing him in. And for some reason he felt he could see some of his own endearment reflected back to him, in her own eyes. Maybe it was a bad idea to pursue this through all his inner turmoil but for some reason, he couldn't quell the impulse inside him. He wished that he could run some sort of calculation to see how successful he'd be, but there was no way to anticipate her reaction.

Hanks footsteps in the hallways grew loud and Barbara stepped away, before Connor could act on any impulses. He was halfway thankful. Hank's brows pulled together as he eyed them.

"What are you doing?"

"Talking," Barbara answered quickly, but her voice was steady and gave nothing away. Hank stared at them for another beat before shaking his head.

"Did you pick out a movie?" he asked, changing the subject. If he suspected anything, he certainly didn't seem to care, or want to know, for that matter. For this reason, Connor thought he'd keep his feelings to himself.

Hey all! I have a couple quick updates:

1- I meant to actually post this on/around Thanksgiving, but sometimes life comes at you fast. I just got a new job and it's taken some time to adjust to my new hours. Updates maybe more sparse from now on, BUT it doesn't mean I've given up on this story, I promise! Things are finally about to get juicy. I've got some time off with the holidays and hopefully will be able to update a little more regularly. Before posting this story, I spent months trying to write ahead, but haven't had the chance to do it much lately, so I'm pretty much caught up with everything I have stored away, so I'll have to write the chapters from now on. Apparently I suck at planning!

2- I hope you like this chapter….I know it's a little cheesy but I'm not out here trying to win any awards and I do think it's time for Connor and Barbara's relationship to progress a little. So hopefully you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think!

3- Also, if you're here because of the recent/upcoming PC game release, hello! Welcome to the fandom!