Chapter 17
Gooey Cheese Sandwich

More than one mountain had been the site of Delhian training camps. Rekha had climbed in nearly all manner of weather -by foot and exosuit- even in hostile territory, but not a kilometer below the surface, not in a hostile dragon's territory. She'd normally be looking forward to this kind of excursion. Climbing up, seeing the view at the top, breathing in that crisp, clean air at the summit was a thrill.

This, well, this would be a thrill too. A horror-holo thrill. Rekha scrubbed at her face. They'd been studying the scanner's readings and discussing them for over an hour.

"The dragon is patrolling too close." Venjie was arguing. "And you can't stop yawning. If you go now, you'll get yourself killed."

Rekha opened her mouth to argue and yawned.

You're pretty good at proving points. Alandris prodded.

"I won't be able to sleep long with that mountain begging us to find answers!"

"Then I'll get up when you do to help guide you, but, Rekha, you need sleep."

Alandris nodded, coughed, hacked up a wad of nasty, spit it into her little crate. Her upper body convulsed, and she heaved up a mouthful of yellow liquid. Spittle trailed from her lips as she sat panting over the crate.

"Go back to the cyclops." Venjie sighed. "Crawl in bed. Do not set an alarm. Sleep. When you wake up, radio us."

"You need sleep as much as I do." Rekha countered. "If you're awake, I sh-"

"My duties require a good deal less hyperawareness. I don't need to pilot an exosuit around rivers of lava, dodge a dragon, and find a way into an alien base to look for answers."

"When I get back in that prawn, I'm going to…" yawn. She couldn't stop it.

Go get some sleep before you get us all killed. Alandris snapped.

Anger burned away the yawn. "I can do this!"

Venjie sneered. "Alandris agrees with me, doesn't she?"

The elder woman nodded.

"Crew consensus. Go. Get. Some. Sleep."

She stared at them, impotent fury seething through her teeth. They glared back. She whirled, stormed to the prawn, slammed the hatch. Her fist punched the release, and her anger reveled in the prawn's clumping movements. At the cyclops, she heaved herself out to stand glaring at the garden. The explosive need to somehow release her raging emotions had her sprinting across the deck to her bed, grabbing a pillow, and screaming into it. Every epithet and curse she could think of was poured into the pillow until she stood there panting.

There wasn't time to sleep! Why couldn't they see that? Another breath of rage threw the pillow at the bed. The bed. It was different. Smaller.

She peered around. Venjie's locker was gone, so was Alandris'. And her bed. Oh. Venjie must have done some recycling. Materials were being stretched thin down here. At the thought of recycling, her body informed her that it needed time in the hygiene closet to unload and refresh. Stupid bodily needs. Couldn't it tell she was trying to be furious here? She stomped to the hygiene closet.

Twenty minutes later, she felt a good deal lighter. Cleaner. The day's worth of rancid sweat was gone. Most of her anger and frustration had been taken with it. What was it about a shower that helped clear the mind? She sat on her bed and stared at the empty spaces where her crewmates used to be. It was terribly lonely. It was also beautifully quiet. No coughing or gagging or arguing. The only sounds were her breathing, the hum of the environmental controls, and the whisper of greenery in the garden.

Her eyelids drooped. Another yawn escaped. The bed was awfully comfortable. Maybe she could get a few hours sleep. She would perform better with a decent night's rest. Yes. The pillow was much more comfortable under her head than pressed into her face. Her eyes closed. Just a few hours. Then she would get up and do her job.

Coughing woke her. Her groggy mind fumbled at the sound. It wasn't Alandris' recent hacking. It was softer, more an irritated puff than a real cough.

Her chest contracted. She coughed again.

Her? It was… oh. She sat up, slapping a hand to mouth to muffle it before her crewmates heard. She glanced worriedly at Venjie, who wasn't there. The other half of the bed was gone too, as was Alandris and her bed. Right. The new habitat. She stopped trying to muffle the cough and grabbed some water.

Throat soothed, the cough retreated. She knew it wasn't gone for good. It sat waiting like a cat, coiled and ready to leap at unsuspecting prey.

She shook her head of that unpleasant thought. How long had she slept? She opened her PDA. It was 0400, which meant she'd been out for… she ticked off the math on her fingers. Eight hours.

"How?"

Quiet answered her. How many nights had Alandris' coughing broken her sleep now? Too many. Well, she was rested and ready to go. She'd make breakfast and take it to her crew.

She checked their rations. Only a couple days' worth. A couple salted fish, the ones with giant eyeballs. If she closed her own eyes, the protein-rich eyeball wasn't that bad, but look at the thing while eating, and she couldn't keep it down.

What kind of life was out there now? She reached with psi, felt a few sharks, a ton of parasites, a scattering of others. A scanner was grabbed, and she went to the hatch. She pulled off all the parasites clinging to the hull, brought them in, then started dragging a few of the others by to scan. Nothing else was edible. Oh well. Time to get going.

Something new darted by the hatch. Reflex grabbed it. A boomerang. Well, a boomerang-shaped fish. They were pretty decent eating, but she hadn't seen one since delving into the deep tunnels. And this one, it wasn't exactly inviting. It looked encrusted with obsidian.

The scanner took its sweet time deciding if the new boomerang edible. It had obsidian for scales and skin so thick and tough it could pass for plasteel. Several minutes later, scans penetrated the meat and proclaimed it edible, then warned against ingesting the internal organs. Good enough.

She caught another one and took both to the kitchen where she tossed them in the fabricator for it to remove the skin, bones, and internal organs. The remaining pink meat was cut into filets and tossed in a pan. While it cooked, she harvested a melon and started slicing it up. She had to pause to increase the heat on the fish. At a temp that would have any other fish smoking and turning black, this one started to turn a firm white. Why was this planet allowed to violate the normal laws of nature?

Melon chunks were dropped in a small crate, the fish served on a plate and set atop. Several lantern fruit and parasites were shoved in her d-pocket. There wasn't any food in the habitat. She eyed a pot holding a potato plant. The whole thing could go. Should probably grab some hull reinforcement materials too. The material lockers didn't give up much. Hopefully, it'd be enough.

Rekha put on her heat gloves and shoes, jumped into the prawn, and used psi to bring the breakfast crate and potato pot to her lap.

"Good morning," she called out when she docked in the habitat. "I brought breakfast."

There wasn't an immediate response. They must be sleeping. She clambered out.

"Are we having potatoes?" Venjie asked from the doorway.

"You could, but I brought a cut melon and cooked fish."

Venjie yawned and rubbed her eyes, came closer to peer inside the crate. "Smells good."

"Think Alandris might eat?"

The cute, sleepy look vanished. "Not fish."

Chest-breaking coughs exploded from the other room. Rekha's throat thrummed in sympathy until the coughing was replaced with gagging.

"Let's eat here." Venjie gestured at the floor. "We can save her some melon to try."

Rekha folded and put her back to the wall. She held the fish between them. "I didn't think to bring another plate or forks. My apologies."

Venjie joined her. "It's fine, Rekha." She picked up a morsel, tossed it back. "Not bad."

"It's a cousin to the boomerangs, but it has obsidian for scales."

"Incredible."

The fish slowly disappeared, the melon following at the same pace until five chunks were left.

"I think the steam is helping her." Venjie broke the quiet. "Her coughing isn't quite as bad. Or maybe I should say, she seems to go a little longer between fits." She rose. "I'll go get her."

Without ceremony, Alandris dumped her crate's contents into the moonpool. A little water was poured in it, swished around, dumped out.

Good morning.

Bloodshot eyes flicked to her. You look less like shit.

We saved you some melon if you'd like.

Alandris glanced at the chunks. She picked up one and bit it in half. Her cheeks and jaws moved as she sucked on it. Don't know if it'll stay down, but it tastes a hell of a lot better than stomach acid.

Okay. Let's see if the scanner has found anything new.

It hadn't. Not of precursor tech. If there was more to the cavern that what it had mapped, it was beyond its range.

They were going over the plans they'd made yesterday when the radio buzzed. Their heads jerked up at the same time. They stared at the light indicating a waiting message.

Venjie got to it and hit play first. It was a staticky message from Alterra that had only managed to reach them by bouncing from their island habitat to the main habitat, to the cyclops, then to this habitat.

Some jerkoff in a comfy corporate facility went on about Alterra not being able to come out to the middle of nowhere, that the survivors would have to meet them halfway. Blueprints for a Neptune rocket launcher should be available in the Aurora's computer core. In the background, another desk jockey wanted the transmitter's lunch order. They argued about inanities that reminded Rekha how little most Alterrans gave a shit about anyone but themselves. The argument finished with talk of a ham and cheese sandwich.

"Go back to the Aurora?" Venjie huffed.

Mmm. Cheese. When was the last time she'd had cheese?

"Couldn't even pretend to give a damn." Alandris wheezed. "Alterra can't meet us out here? We have to meet them halfw-?" Her anger cut off into coughing that left her bent over and gasping again.

What Rekha wouldn't give for a gooey cheese sandwich, all melty and hot. Yea. A grilled cheese sandwich with spicy tomato soup and a tall, frothy mug of beer. Absently, she scratched at an itch. Her dad used to make an amazing tomato soup. Fresh, pureed tomatoes, sauteed garlic and onion, all sorts of spices, and ghost pepper. Or her grandmother's biryani. That was sublime. Old Indian traditions in cooking were far superior to the tasteless muck that prevailed in Alterra.

"Rekha?"

She blinked, mind still on food. "Hm?"

"Have you heard anything we've said?"

Sight flicked from one woman to another. "Was there something more than complaining?"

"Rekha!" Venjie gasped accusingly.

Anger shifted to frustration then idle amusement on Alandris. "She has a point."

"Alandris," Venjie objected.

"Complaining hasn't helped our situation thus far." Alandris gestured with a hand. "All hard work, not f-" she fell to yet another coughing fit.

Rekha clenched her fists while she watched her friend struggle to breathe. Yesterday's frustration boiled afresh. They were so close! So close to finding the voice that promised help. Yet so far. Reapers were nothing compared to the horrors down here. The dragon probably had reapers for breakfast!

A green pustule on Alandris' cheek looked ready to pop. Rekha resisted the urge to clear her throat for the thousandth time. At least Rekha's infection hadn't been noticed by her crew yet. Them knowing that she was on death row as well wouldn't help. Stress and tension levels would only increase, like they were now with the news from Alterra that they had to build a rocket. Then, travel for over a month on whatever rations they could stuff aboard before Alterra could be bothered to meet up with them. Oh, but first, they had to retrieve the blueprints from the ultra-dangerous wreckage that was the Aurora, because the classified schematics couldn't be broadcasted. Nails dug into her palms.

Do not give up hope, whispered in her mind.

I'm trying not to. She responded to the old voice.

You will find me. You and your pod will live, soothed her.

Thank you.

The presence vanished. Rekha managed to release her fists, yet they trembled. Soft hands touched hers. She lifted her gaze to Venjie.

"Rekha," pleaded with her. For what, she didn't know, and she wasn't going to touch Venjie's mind to find out. Venjie hadn't invited free contact since the infected reaper incident, and Rekha hadn't asked, wouldn't. Distrust lingered in Venjie's flinches and sidelong glances.

"I'll get water." She pulled her hands free and went for the filter. She felt the heated gaze on her back the whole time, and it was there when she turned around.

A tiny smile lifted Alandris' features as she accepted the water.

"No point standing around anymore." Rekha announced and turned to leave.

"Rekha!"

She kept moving until a hand grabbed her arm.

"Rekha."

She waited.

There came a sigh when she refused to turn around. Venjie moved to be in front of her, to forcefully meet her gaze. "Rekha. We aren't giving up."

"I didn't say you were."

Amber eyes narrowed at her clipped attitude. They closed briefly. "Rekha, just be careful. Give us hourly updates."

"If I can. You know the comms will probably get scrambled by, well, everything."

"Comms!" Venjie huffed. "Rekha, you dense creature! You're psionic!"

"And I'll contact Alandris when radios fail."

"She can barely get two words out without coughing up a lung!" Venjie gestured dramatically.

That was true.

"Are you really expecting her to be the only one you can contact?"

It was her only option. She'd been told to stay out of Venjie's head. Repeatedly. She waited for more, her gaze hard and unwavering.

Lips parted, Venjie's jaw sank. "Oh." Her eyes lowered.

Rekha waited another long moment. "Is that all, Remus?"

Immediately, Venjie's eyes shot up, bright and full of challenge. "No, dammit!"

Irritation grated. "Then what? I don't have the time to waste while you sort out whatever is in your head, Remus."

"Red gods, Rekha." Liquid sparkled in those heated amber eyes. It made Rekha's insides clench. "You're still waiting for me to give you permission, aren't you?"

Silently, she waited.

"You may," Venjie swallowed. "You may use a psi-channel to contact me. At any time." She looked up, back down. A tear escaped and raced down her face. She swiped it away. Another followed. "Any time, Rekha. I trust you. I don't think there's anyone more trustworthy than you."

Emotions seethed inside her chest. Now wasn't the time to figure them out. She dipped her head in acknowledgment of Venjie's gift. "Thank you."

She felt more than saw Alandris roll her eyes.

"I'll give hourly updates however is possible." Rekha said and made to move toward the moonpool.

"That's it?" Venjie's tone was crushed.

"Venjie, let it go" Alandris rasped. "Unless there's something else you want her to know."

"There is!"

Rekha paused, looked over her shoulder.

Venjie's jaw worked.

"Well?" Alandris pushed.

"What if we need to contact you!" spit out. Venjie blinked as though that wasn't what she'd meant to say. She pursed her lips.

Alandris wheezed. "Can we," gasp, "Contact you somehow?"

"Yes!" Venjie barked. "Yes," was repeated quieter. "There are a thousand reasons why we need reliable comms in a magmatic environment, let alone this one."

Rekha fully turned. She studied her friends for several long breaths. "Yes and no."

"What sort of answer is that?" grumbled Venjie.

"No. A non-augmented has no way to reach out unless a psionic first establishes connection. As for the yes," Rekha considered her next words. "It's a bit complicated and involves a good deal of energy. I don't think Alandris is strong enough to endure the connection."

"Then fine. Maintain it with me." Venjie ordered.

Rekha soldiered through her pounding heart to maintain her calm demeanor. "There's more."

Furrows gathered above Venjie's pretty eyes. "What else?"

"This kind of connection leaves a lasting impression. It's not exactly permanent, but records say it can last for months, sometimes longer." Rekha slipped into a lecturing tone. "Without discipline and training, strong thoughts and emotions will broadcast directly to the psionic. The more the connection is used, the stronger the bond, the more ease the psionic will have in psychic control."

"Control," came from Alandris.

"You said you couldn't control us." Venjie whispered.

Rekha swallowed her emotions. "I said that I could not make you think or believe anything. I could, however, temporarily wrest control of your body from you." She watched her friends' pupils blow wide, their pulse gallop at their throats, their knuckles tighten. "It would not be pleasant, especially if the attack came through a dry connection."

She continued calmly. "The more the victim struggles, the more painful it would be. A protected and trained mind like Alandris' could likely repel low class attacks. She would struggle with middle classes. Winning or losing would be a toss up; either way she'd end up comatose for days or weeks and probably couldn't survive another mental attack. She would absolutely lose to an H-class, would lose some of her intellectual capacity, possibly some memory, and endure physical damage in the process. When control was given back, she would be scarred for life."

Their faces were stricken, horror and grief billowing in clouds of broadcast. Rekha didn't shut it out. She kept going. "A long-term connection would soften those defenses. Control could be taken more easily and less destructively."

"Have," Venjie panted. "Have you done this?"

Prisoners were kept for training young soldiers. A good many were old Martians and enemies of the state. About a third were Delhian natives, sent to prison for various transgressions from treason to murder. Touching those minds… She wasn't sure what was worse, fighting a broken-hearted Martian or a twisted sociopath. "An LTC? No."

"Taken control?" Alandris asked, calm and cold.

"Many times. It's standard in training exercises."

Venjie's frame coiled in preparation of sudden movement.

Rekha braced for the attack by closing her eyes.

Venjie was standing there, her body trembling, rage written in every quiver and line of her face.

Alandris wheezed into the tension, "I've heard that a psi attack leaves the soldier with impressions of their victim for a while. The longer the fight, the more is impressed."

Her lip trembled. It'd taken her months to stop having nightmares about their ghosts. Her emotions pushed into her throat, made her croak. "Yes."

The rage on Venjie shifted. "And they forced children into the minds of prisoners." She growled. "How can you stand here like some academy professor, talking about these horrors and atrocities you've committed, that you've watched, that you've," a gasping breath, "That's happened to you." She blinked. "Did trainees practice on each other?"

Sessions were highly regulated to prevent unnecessary brain damage, but, "Yes."

"And soldiers are trained young, aren't they? Before puberty sets in?"

"All psionics receive early training by qualified teachers." Like her parents. "Mandatory military training begins at fourteen." She'd been a year late.

"Gods!" Venjie fumed. "I'm going to slap that cold expression from your face!"

"Venjie," Alandris lifted a hand that Venjie ducked.

Rekha's eyes closed again, trying to shut out the hatred that her dumb mouth had managed to magnify in Venjie.

"When we get out of here, I'm going to lead an inquisition into Delhian child abuse and inhumane training practices!"

An eyelid lifted enough to see Venjie's face flushed, fists balled at her sides. One hand swept up. Rekha squeezed her eyes shut again.

The punch didn't come. Her eyes opened to see the hand moving slowly toward her face, fingers extended, palm up. The fingers touched her cheek, then the whole hand until it was cupping her face. The thumb stroked a gentle caress. She sniffled, and tears poured down her face.

"Oh, Rekha. You really are a soft one," breathed across her wet cheek. Venjie moved their bodies together, wrapped comforting arms around Rekha, clucked at Rekha's sudden clutching hold. "It's okay, sweetheart." Gentle hands stroked her back. "It's okay. I didn't mean to scare you."

Shudders wracked her body. She was crying again. Why was she always crying? Hadn't she done that enough on this planet already?

A/N - did someone say suffer? I've been waiting so long to get to this chapter!