"You might want to sit down for this one" I gulp and gesture to one of the armchairs by the small TV. I'm already dreading this and I haven't even begun explaining anything. Curse me and my drinking! I'm never touching alcohol again!
"Sit down for what exactly?" Spike ask me incredulously with one hand on his hip and the other one swinging wildly in the air.
"Ehrm-eh-um-urm" I stutter, it's not even funny how not ready I am to have this conversation.
"Cease your stuttering, Ana. Now come on, tell the big bad what this chit chat about soulmates is about" He tries to grin but it comes out as more of a grimace.
"If you sit down I'll tell you" I repeat with an annoyed look on my face.
The vampire obediently plop down on the chair and expectantly look up at me. "So? Enlighten me"
"We're soulmates" I declare with a blank look on my face.
"You've already said that" Spike point out with an annoyed glare. "I want to know, you know, more"
I sigh and sit down in the chair besides him. "I was walking around the other day, in that park I like, and I was sitting on this bench watching the ducks when a woman came and sat down besides me. She was the one who told me that we're soulmates"
He burst out laughing, a real belly laugh too. "A bloody woman told you that we're soulmates and you take her word as gospel. I thought you were smart, not some superstitious-I-don't-even-know-what-else-woman"
"She's a witch" And that, my friends, is how you shut one William the bloody up.
"Oh, oh, OH" He burst out, flying out of the chair. It seems like it didn't shut him up, if anything it made him angry. "So a witch comes along, sits down next to you and all of a sudden she's not a stranger anymore. God, Ana. It's like you wanted this to happen" He accuse me with a crazed look in his eyes.
"You're honestly saying that I wanted this to happen? That I wanted to be told that we're soulmates? That's ridiculous"
"No, I don't think it is. I see it now, I shouldn't have been so blind. This is why you're against Dru, isn't it?! You're jealous of her."
"You're being ridiculous Spike. I didn't ask for this!" I shout at him, standing up from the chair. "It's starting to look like this is something you want"
"That doesn't make any sense, love" He bitterly chuckles. "Who'd imagine, my best friend going behind my back like this"
I stare at him with an incredulous look on my face. "Like this? I don't even know what you're talking about anymore. Do you even hear what's coming out of your mouth?"
"Of course I do, I'm not soddin' deaf!" Spike sighs heavily and pulls a hand through his hair. "Now calm down and please tell me that this is just one big joke"
"I can't do that. I wish it was just a big joke, I wish that we could just have a laugh and then go back to the way things used to be. But we can't, because it's not a joke and we can never go back to the way things was. Now, I'm drunk out of my mind and I'm making all the wrong choices so if you don't mind, I'm going to sleep." I declare strongly to him, my chin raised high and back straight. We will do this on my terms.
After a long much needed nap I was feeling much readier for that conversation. The one conversation I have never thought about having with Spike, never in my wildest dreams have I ever thought about the two of us together. Come to think of it, if Spike and I are soulmates then why haven't either of us felt a connection. Oh, that's right. Drusilla asked Teah to cast a spell to hide it, I almost forgot about that. Yippi.
I quickly get dressed and do all the necessary things for a heavy conversation, meaning I did the bare minimum. With heavy steps and a body full of dread I make my way up the stairs into the living room. Thankfully Drusilla is nowhere in sight, god knows that this would be an awkward conversation to have with her around.
Spike was waiting on me in the same chair I left him in. He looks like he didn't go to sleep, like he's been waiting for me all night. He's wearing the same clothes as he did before, his eyes are red rimmed. Hold on! His eyes are red rimmed, has he been crying? No, the Spike can not have cried over me. It's impossible.
"You haven't slept?" Wow Ana, great ice breaker. Point out the obvious.
"No, your words have kept me awake." He reply with a monotone voice.
"I'm sorry for just springing that on you, I didn't want to tell you until I had all the facts" I tell the man sitting in the chair. "I'm not sure I was going to tell you at all, I mean none of us feel the bond so why change what is already perfect" I force out a chuckle which he doesn't return.
"How long" Spike is now looking at me, his eyes wide and full of confusion. His hands were laying limp in his lamp and his shoulders were hanging limp.
"A few hours before I told you" I answer with a small shrug. "If I could undo it I would, ignorance is a bliss"
"Indeed" He retort with a sarcastic tone in his voice. "How blissful would it be to go my entire existence without knowing that my best friend is actually supposed to be the love of my life"
Silence falls over us and it's an uncomfortable one. One full of tension and unspoken words.
"I don't know what you want me to say" I admit with a sad look on my face. "She told me that we're soulmates and that a spell has been cast to hide the bond" I purposely leave the part about Drusilla out. I know that he loves her and it would hurt and confuse him even more if he knew that the woman have been lying to him all these years.
"A spell?"
"Yes, a spell. It's supposed to hide the bond between us, it's the reason why we don't feel it" There's so much I want to tell him but at the same time I have no words. How can you tell the person you love the most that you're whole friendship is built on a lie. "I suppose that's why we've always been so close."
"Who cast the spell"
"The witch, Teah." I don't want to tell him who made her cast the spell but I will if he force me to. It's not my problem anyways so why should I suffer for something she did.
"And you trust her?! She cursed us and yet you still trust her" Spike's anger is back. He always did mask his feelings with anger.
"She didn't want to do it, she was... forced" I tell him calmly. I don't want this to escalate and become a fight like it did yesterday. "Someone made her do it"
"And who made her curse us?"
"Drusilla" Dang it Spike, I didn't want to do this but you give me no choice. "Drusilla made her do it. I think she did it right after we met."
"And why should I trust you?" It was an honest question, why should he trust me? What guarantee does he have that I'm not lying? None. It's going to be my word against hers and I'm afraid that her is worth more than mine.
"I've never lied to you Spike, you know this" I try to convince him with an almost desperate tone in my voice. "Think about what she's already done to you, is it so hard to imagine her doing this?"
"I don't know. I don't know! I DON'T BLOODY KNOW" He scream at me, tugging at his hair. "It's all so confusing"
"I know" I give him a sympathetic smile and cautiously walk over to him. When I stand before him I regard him for a moment before wrapping my arms around him. "I wish it didn't have to come to this" I whisper to him honestly. "I know how much you love her"
"Yeah, I love the stupid bint. Let's say that she did curse us, how do we break it" A small glimmer of hope grow inside of me at his words. Maybe this won't be so bad after all.
"I don't know, I'll have to ask Theah."
"You do that, I'll deal with Dru" Spike tells me with a grimace on his handsome face. I look at him a bit shocked, I didn't think that he would accept it so quickly. Maybe the problems with Dru is making him consider this an actual possibility and not some far fetched fairy tale that I made up while chugging a bottle of cheap vodka. I don't have any romantic feelings for the man, which is why it's still so hard for me to accept that we're actually soulmates, but I suppose that it isn't so unbelievably as I first thought. I mean, there's been a connection between us ever since we first met and we're so incredibly close. I'm a little hesitant on the bond part, is it the bond making us fall in love or is it something that helps us find the one? I'd like to think that it just helps us, give us the push that we definitely will need, but at the same time I can't help but think of the relationship we have now and the fact that I've never even considered being anything other than friends with my soulmate. Can this be part of the spell that Theah did, maybe it makes it so that we can't feel anything but friendship, an extra precaution in case we would fall in love without the bond. Maybe when the spell is broken it will all work out, the bond will work its magic and Spike and I will have the relationship we've always been meant to have.
AN: This was a hard chapter to write, both with the dialogue and trying to put in words how confused Ana is about the whole thing. I feel like this chapter isn't up to the same standard as the others but I hope you like it anyways!