Author's Note: So this chapter pretty much gained feet and started running away from me, and before I knew it, I was 6000 words deep. This explores more about Esther and the events leading up to the outbreak, as well as welcoming back an old face or two! I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I feel like it tied a few loose ends up from previous chapters as well as opening a few conversations that needed to be had.

I'm so excited for you guys to read the next few chapters; it breaks away from the show and is completely original.

Hope you guys enjoy!

Part Two

Three

Motion Sickness

.x.

Sophia.

The young girl rushed over to Esther, breaking into a sprint, and wrapped her arms around her waist. Esther dropped to her knees, the rifle dropping to the ground, and held the young girl tightly in her arms. She placed a hand upon the back of her head and held her close. Esther thought about the last time she had seen her; she had promised Sophia that she would come back, making a promise that she hadn't kept in that moment. But she was back, and Sophia was alive. She had thought the worse, both she and Daryl did.

Esther's eyes fell on the woman who was staring at their embrace, a soft and genuine smile on her face. Esther released Sophia from the hug and looked at the young girl's face. She looked older, more mature. Her eyes, once innocent and young, were different and Esther was aware of what Sophia could have seen in the time between the last time they were together and this moment.

"Are you okay?" Esther asked, her voice low.

Sophia nodded with a small smile. "Michonne found me. She's my friend, like you are."

Esther returned her smile and hugged the girl one more time before she stood up. She moved over to where Michonne was standing, and she sensed the woman tense up. "Thank you for taking care of her. I know her mom would appreciate it knowing a stranger was kind enough to take her in and look after her."

Michonne nodded slowly. "She's a great kid."

"Yeah she is," Esther smirked, turning to Sophia and watching as she hugged Daryl. "Thank you again."

Michonne offered her a toothy grin. "It was nothing."

It was everything, but Esther understood her reasonings for downplaying it. She rested her hands on her hips as she observed Sophia introducing herself to Rick, Glenn and Tara with a smile.

A shiver ran down her spine and Esther shook it off, but the hairs on the back of her neck were standing on end. She couldn't ignore it; instinct and experience had taught her to listen to her gut. Daryl caught her eye and furrowed his brows at her. She took a moment in the calm to glance around at the rooftops, and Daryl tilted his head at her but did the same, the grip on his crossbow tightening as they both searched the rooftops, the alleyways that they could see from where they stood, as well as the main streets and roads.

"What's the matter?" Michonne asked, her voice low as she sensed something shift in the atmosphere.

Esther's gaze fell on her rifle on the ground and cursed herself mentally. "We're being watched."

Even though her voice was low, it moved through the space between them all like thunder rolling towards them. She watched Glenn pick up the rifle, readying himself in case he was needed.

"I need you all to head to that alleyway where Glenn is on the count of three," Esther whispered, her gaze falling on the bobbing head on the rooftop. "One… two… three—"

They raced towards the alleyway just as a gunshot cut through the air, clipping the asphalt beside Esther's feet. Daryl pulled her into the alley quickly, and Glenn threw the rifle in her direction. She caught it with ease and, closing one eye, she looked through the eye piece, weapon aimed at where the shot had come from. Michonne was holding Sophia tightly and reassuring her.

"What can ya see?"

She wanted to see something, but there was nothing. She had seen the bobbing of a head, and the gunshot had been too close for comfort. But as she stared at the space where she had seen the sniper, she couldn't see anything. "I can't see anything," Esther whispered, shuffling a little so she could see more of the rooftop in case whoever had shot at them had moved.

And it was then that they heard shouting in the distance, hollering to capture the attention of people. Esther looked towards Daryl who shook his head. They couldn't figure out what the person was saying; and they wondered if they were shouting at them or shouting to whoever they were with.

"Uh, guys," Glenn said, and Esther snapped her head back to the street as the dead, having heard the gunshot in the open air, were heading their way.

"Shit," Daryl said, suddenly aware of Sophia's presence within the group. "Sorry."

Esther weighed up her decisions: there was a sniper who had already shot at them, and were probably waiting for them to sneak out of the alleyway to shoot them again, and she knew they had to be aware of them watching every move they made, but she also had to consider the walkers on the ground with them. If they focused on one of them, the other would be neglected and both could kill them.

"We need to head back to the apartment," Esther whispered, capturing the attention of everyone around her. "I'll cover you guys, make sure you get back there safe."

"No…"

Esther narrowed her gaze at Daryl. "No?"

"Ya gonna try and find the sniper," he replied with a shake of the head. "I ain't letting ya do that."

"It's probably the only way for us to leave the area," Esther refuted. "We can't have walkers on our heels and a sniper watching us like we're prey."

"If ya gonna do it, ya ain't going alone," Daryl simply said, knowing Esther wasn't going to back down. There was no way of arguing with her, he knew that it wouldn't get him anywhere.

Esther nodded to him, silently grateful that he wasn't shutting her down. She was aware that she probably wasn't in the best state at the moment; she was healed from her injuries, but it was the invisible ones that were the most painful and overwhelming ones to heal from. She was struggling, and Daryl understood completely. And he wasn't forcing her to get back out there or keeping her back and wrapping her in cotton wool, he was simply supporting her for when she decided she was better. Daryl was capable of protecting the others with Esther being a prominent part in the group, he understood she needed to heal and fight whatever battle she was dealing with, but now that the group had multiplied within the space of an hour, he was happy that Esther was feeling better in herself. He had seen the state she was in when he had returned, with him and Tara having heard a commotion and having gone to investigate it. There was a part of him that believed that she had been bitten or worse, dead. It frightened him that she had felt the need to head out and protect someone, but she had made amazing strides in recuperating and claiming back a piece of her that she had lost along the way.

"You know how to shoot a gun, right?" Esther asked Rick, to which he nodded.

"I was a sheriff for nearly ten years," Rick confirmed to her. "I'll go with you. I'm a good shot."

Daryl turned to Esther. "Ya sure about this?"

"Yeah," she said with a nod, her gaze burning into his. "I'm ready."

Daryl found himself nodding, his gaze never wavering from hers. "I know. I never doubted ya for a second."

A smile formed on her lips, and Esther felt winded. "Get them back to the apartment, grab any supplies you can get your hands on, and get ready to leave. We have to get out of this town, it's compromised."

Daryl nodded, shouldering his crossbow.

"We'll cover you," Esther continued. "Once we know you're inside and safe, we'll head up there and see what the situation is."

There was a moment where everyone nodded at her orders.

"You're in good hands with this guy, okay?" Esther bumped shoulders with Daryl as he nervously lowed his gaze to the ground. "Listen to everything he says."

"Don't do that…" Daryl whispered mostly to her, knowing where she was going with her speech. "This ain't goodbye."

"I know," Esther smirked at him, aware of the intensity of his stare upon her.

"How much time shall we wait before you guys are back?" Glenn asked, his voice breaking the eye contact of Daryl and Esther.

"Thirty minutes," Esther said, watching Daryl lower his head knowing there was an ultimate time limit. "We'll be back by then."

Sophia moved towards Esther and reached out her hand, her little finger pointing out. "Pinky promise?"

"That's some serious shit right there," Daryl smirked, wincing again at his cuss word. "Sorry."

Sophia giggled in response and waited for Esther to return it. When Esther linked her little finger with hers, a promise had been made. Sophia hugged Esther once more before returning to Michonne's side.

Esther watched as everyone prepared to leave, the speeches and promises having been made. Esther readied herself to cover Daryl and the others.

"We follow behind them, I'll cover you as well," Esther told Rick. "We slip into that alleyway over there," she pointed towards the one further up that lead to the other streets that he had previously tried to reach before the dead had cornered him. "And then we head to that building and see what's happening up there. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah," Rick nodded.

Esther moved to the mouth of the alleyway but was stopped by Daryl.

"Hey—" Daryl reached for her hand and pulled her to him. He stared down at her, suddenly aware of the close proximity between them. "Stay safe, yeah? Ya feel that gut instinct that's saved ya ass all those times before beginning to kick in, ya get ya ass outta there. Ya come back to me, okay?"

Esther swallowed the lump in her throat as goosebumps scattered across her body like rolling thunder. His voice was soft and genuine, and Esther hadn't realised it could ever sound like that. She found herself nodding; all words that she wanted to say jumbling up in her mind.

"Hasta la vista, baby," Esther struggled to compose herself.

Daryl chuckled and shook his head. "That ain't funny but it'll do for now."

Esther closed the small gap between them and wrapped her arms around Daryl. He stood there as stiff as an ironing board for a small moment before he released the tension from his body and returned the hug, his arms weaving around her body and holding her tight against his chest. Daryl reluctantly released her after a moment, and nervously shouldered his crossbow. And with a nod, he joined the other group, leaving Esther to compose herself.

She lifted her rifle, moving back to the mouth of the alleyway. "Alright, are you ready?"

The group collectively nodded, and as they moved out of the alleyway, Esther took her position and covered them as they headed back to the apartment with Daryl leading them. Her gaze was on the rooftop where she had seen the figure but as they made their way back, aware of the walkers close by, she couldn't see a thing. As the group reached the alleyway of where the fire escape was, Esther and Rick followed on and raced into the opposite alley.

As they headed towards the building, they worked in silence as they took care of any stragglers that were oblivious to their presence. They climbed the fire escape to the roof of the apartment building, their footing light and cautious of the height. Esther aimed her weapon up, taking the lead, whilst Rick covered them at the back. Once they reached the roof, Esther placed a finger on her lips to which Rick nodded, aware that whoever was on the roof was most likely still around. Esther couldn't afford for whoever it was to know about them being so close. They manoeuvred around the large chimneys and stopped once they heard cursing.

The man was yanking at something, and as Esther peered around the corner, she narrowed her gaze. The sound of metal against metal sounded.

"I ain't nobody's bitch," the man whispered. "I ain't done shit but be good. They took everything from me… and now those assholes have chained me to the goddamn roof… I ain't gonna die here… I ain't..."

Esther turned to Rick and mouthed: "Stay here."

Esther rose from her crouched position and advanced towards the man. She raised her weapon and slipped into view for the man. She clicked her tongue, drawing his attention away from the pipe.

"You've got to be kidding me," Esther muttered, lowering her weapon.

Merle Dixon was alive and well and chained to the rooftop of an apartment building. His skin was red and blistered, the unrelenting sun having taken itself out on him. Esther wondered how long he'd been up on the roof for.

"Soldier girl, that you?" Merle asked, squinting against the sunshine, his voice trailing off. "Yer alive or yer a ghost come to collect my soul?"

"How did you…"

"Found myself with the wrong crowd," he shrugged and moved back to trying to escape from his restraints. Rick came out from behind the chimney and watched the scene unfold in front of him. Merle continued to pull against his restraints. "They stole all my shit…"

"You shot at us," Esther seethed.

"Thought I heard my Darylina," Merle whispered with a shrug, yanking at the chain again. "Been hearin' and seein' some crazy ass shit."

"That's because you did hear your brother."

Merle stopped then, and turned his head, his gaze—so similar and yet so different from his brothers—meeting hers. "He alive?"

Esther nodded. "Yeah. We made it out of the department store. We looked for you."

"We thought ya were dead," Merle said bluntly. "Ya both just… disappeared."

Esther could only nod in silence. It was awful for both her and Daryl, but she couldn't imagine what it was like for Merle and Abraham to watch the scene unfold without being able to do anything.

"Is…" her voice trailed off.

"Abraham is fine," Merle told her. "He was still an asshole. He ain't with me anymore."

Esther moved towards Merle, resting her rifle against the pipes. She looked at the wounds to Merle's wrists, determining they were days old. "Who did this to you?"

"Some guys who I thought were okay," Merle told her. "Thought they were my friends, y'know. But news just in… they were assholes."

"Merle Dixon having friends?" Esther smirked. "I've seen it all now."

Merle smirked and flipped her off. "Ya gonna get me out of these or am I gonna have to shoot at ya again?"

"It's a good thing it was us that you shot at us," Esther said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, I thought I was shootin' at fuckin' ghosts so… ya lucky," Merle commented. "My mind… it ain't…"

"Sun stroke," Rick interjected. "Got it bad last summer and thought I was going crazy."

Merle turned to stare at Rick. "Who's this guy? He's really wearin' that sheriff's hat, right? That ain't my mind playin' tricks on me?"

"That's Rick," Esther told him as she inspected the handcuff lock. She slipped a hair grip from her hair. "We found him today."

"He knows he's wearin' that sheriff's hat, right? He realises the world has ended and there ain't no patrollin' the streets anymore?"

"Ignore him," Esther told Rick with a smirk, rolling her eyes at Merle's comments. "Unfortunately, he's always this charming. Nothing to do with sun stroke."

"Oh, I have been," Rick commented with a chuckle.

Esther manoeuvred the hair grip in the lock, working away at trying to trick it into unlocking. It took a few minutes and a few grunts from Merle, but when the handcuffs snapped open, Merle hollered in relief.

"Ya an angel, my girl," Merle hugged Esther tightly, and punched the air.

"We're going to have to clean that area," Esther told him. "We've been staying at an apartment a few streets away. We'll head back there. Can you walk?"

"I ain't born yesterday, soldier girl," Merle countered sarcastically. Esther was the one to flip him the bird this time, and Merle chuckled.

They made their way down the fire escape, with Esther cautious of Merle's unsteady footing. She prepared herself to catch him in case he slipped down the stairs, taking Rick out in the process. She kept a grasp on his shirt to steady him. Once they reached the ground, Esther breathed a sigh of relief. They retraced their steps, slipping into the alleyways and away from the dead. As the sounds of the dead closed in around them, they had reached the street they needed.

"I ain't—" Merle trailed off as consciousness slipped away from him, exhaustion and dehydration taking hold of him. Esther caught him just before he crashed to the ground, slowly and carefully easing him to the ground.

"Shit," Esther cursed, as her gaze fell on the apartment a block away and then towards the walkers who were stumbling around the street aimlessly. "Have you got a mirror?"

"I've got my badge, why?"

"I'm going to try and use the sun and shine it into the window," Esther told him. "It's dangerous us being out here surrounded by walkers. I don't safe with one of us staying out here whilst the other goes for help."

Rick unhooked it from his shirt and handed it to her.

"You still wear it?" Esther asked, motioning towards his uniform.

He nodded proudly. "You still wear yours?"

Esther chewed at her lip. "The world… it's… we did our best, you know?"

Rick cast his gaze to the ground. "I'm sorry."

"There isn't anything to be sorry about," Esther whispered sadly. "It's just the way the world is now."

She took with a nod and a smile and positioned it where the sun was. She saw the reflection on the brick beside the window and stepped backwards, watching as it slipped into the window.

It took a moment for any movement to be made inside, but once the window opened and Daryl's head popped out, she sighed gratefully. She watched as he slipped out of the window, down the fire escape and run towards them.

"This the asshole who shot at us?"

"This asshole is someone you know very well," Esther told him, moving out of the way to reveal Merle to his brother. "Daryl… meet your brother, Merle."

Daryl face fell as he saw the state that Merle was in; he was sunburned, every inch of his face was red, sore and blistered. Daryl met Esther's gaze, but she shook her head.

"We should get him inside then I'll explain," Esther told him, and he nodded. Rick and Daryl hauled him up off from the ground and began to haul him to the apartment.

"He's fuckin' heavy," Daryl cursed. "I haven't missed haulin' his ass back home from a dive bar, that's for sure."

Esther smirked, opening the door to the apartment building. They all knew it would be beyond ridiculous trying to carry him up the fire escape and through the window. The apartment foyer and stairs were thankfully empty and scarce of all life, and the stairs were wider for them to drag him up without the worry of the dead hearing their struggle. Esther took his feet.

"Is this the reunion you'd been hoping for?" Rick asked to which Daryl chuckled.

"Hell no."

.x.

Merle Dixon was snoring away on the couch oblivious to the people around him. As the dead stumbled aimlessly on the streets beneath them, Esther along with the others planned their next move. Their stay within the town was jeopardised; the dead proving too dangerous to remain in the apartment for another day. Lilly and Tara busied themselves with packing as many supplies as they could; Meghan and Sophia bonded over books and played with Meghan's dolls for a little while; Rick, Glenn and Michonne offered Esther and Daryl information regarding towns and areas that were either safe or compromised, and Daryl marked them all on the map of the city.

"If we're going to leave this place, we're going to need vehicles," Michonne interjected. "It's not going to be easy on foot, especially now that we have Merle who isn't in a good shape at all."

"Ya right," Daryl replied with a sigh, his gaze casting over to his brother. As he stared at the redness to his skin, Daryl knew it wasn't going to be easy getting Merle settled. He was always a loose cannon; with Daryl usually having to clean up after the messes his brother made. He always described Merle as a boomerang; he would always come back no matter what, and just when he truly believed Merle to have gone forever, he came back in his life unexpectantly.

Lilly dropped two car keys on the table. "I have a car, and so does Tara. We could use them."

"Are you sure?" Esther asked, her brow furrowing. "Thank you… we really appreciate it."

Lilly nodded. "Of course, it would be a shame to leave them behind. It's brand new, I only got to drive it a few times before all of this."

"So that's settled then," Daryl chewed at his lip. "We head out to the Quarry tomorrow morning."

.x.

As night descended over the town, Esther found herself sitting on the fire escape and watching the dead wander below her. She allowed the cool breeze to kiss her skin, a shiver running through her body as goosebumps marked her skin. Everyone was settling down for the evening, sharing stories and anecdotes of them coming to this moment in their life. Esther had listened for a while, excusing herself just before the attention moved to her. She felt drained, emotionally charged.

A creak of the floorboard caught her attention and she turned, her eyes falling on Sophia. It had only been a few weeks since she had last seen the young girl and Esther could hardly believe how much older she looked; she had grown up so much.

Esther smiled. "Hey, you."

Sophia's smile widened, and she climbed out of the window, settling beside Esther. "Hey," she said softly.

"I'm so happy you found Michonne," Esther told her honestly. "What happened after we…"

Sophia's smile fell, and her brow furrowed. "Merle and Abraham came back and told my mom that you and Daryl hadn't made it."

Esther closed her eyes briefly. "Things… went down and it was touch and go."

"We were all so sad," Sophia whispered. "We heard screaming then and I was so scared. We were running for ages, trying to get out of the building but… I was separated from mommy…"

Esther reached for Sophia as tears filled the young girl's eyes. Esther stayed quiet as Sophia sobbed quietly into the night.

"I haven't seen her in so long," Sophia's voice wavered. "My mommy—"

"—we'll find her," Esther said, defiantly. "You found us. We'll find your mom, I promise."

Esther knew she shouldn't promise such a thing to Sophia, knowing the outcome might not be the one either one was expecting. But they still had to believe; they still had to make promises.

Sophia nodded tearfully and settled beside Esther tiredly. The little girl drifted to sleep, her head on her lap as Esther stroked her hair. Esther rested her head against the brick wall behind her, the sound of the dead lulling her sleep.

"Hey…" Daryl's voice filled her ears and she opened her eyes, her gaze falling on him. "Everyone's bedding down for the night. Meghan's in with her mom now, and the guys are gonna take Meghan's room. Where did ya wanna sleep?"

"I'll probably just take the first watch," Esther told him. Daryl nodded, hesitating by the window frame, his gaze falling on the sleeping girl in her lap.

"Can't believe it," he murmured, taking a seat on the cushion opposite where Esther was seated. "Ya alright?"

Esther shuffled uncomfortably, her gaze observing Daryl as he stared intently at her. "I'm grateful to you. I really am, for… coming after me in that elevator, for risking your life to save me. I never thanked you."

"Ya didn't have to thank me."

"But I did. You never gave up on me even though I was giving up on myself," Esther told him.

"Ya were hurt, ya were dealin' with shit," Daryl responded softly.

Esther ran a hand through her hair and sighed. "I… was hurt badly before all of this. I was on tour and everything went wrong…" she hesitated, trying to compose herself. "I lost a lot of my comrades that day."

.x.

The sun beat down on the squad as they made their rounds. The ground beneath them was dry and crumbled beneath their hefty boots as their camo gear hung heavily on their bodies. The neighbourhood around them was eerily silent as shacks lined either side of the dusty road. Their task for the day was a simple sweep of the area to ensure nothing was untoward.

As Esther followed behind her comrades, the weight of the rifle heavy in her hands, her mind was on the task at hand. The medical backpack carried everything she could ever need, and though it always seemed to be overpacked and heavy, Esther knew she could never go out without every piece of equipment. Though her role as a combat medic was different to her fellow soldiers, she enjoyed the different aspects of each day. Some days were a simple affair and required treatment of blisters, sunburn or an upset stomach, but other times consisted of more serious injuries and wounds that required immediate treatment.

The full attire was overwhelming at times, and it didn't matter how the weather transpired, it was absolutely necessary for them to be equipped with the full uniform whilst out on their morning mission.

"A little hot already, isn't it, Doc?" Andrews commented with an exasperated sigh. He wiped his forehead as best as he could underneath his helmet.

"Not even seven and it's already causing some of us to sunburn," Esther smirked as she tipped her head towards her friend beside her who was quickly turning a shade of red. She looked down at her own hands and saw how her pale skin was already prickling with heat despite the many layers of sun lotion she had made herself and her comrades put on before they left the compound.

"It seems qu-" Andrews began but was cut off by Esther.

"Don't say that word," Esther warned, raising her brows at him. She adjusted her rifle knowing that everything could go wrong in the matter of minutes, they didn't need to jinx themselves further.

Andrews averted his gaze before clearing his throat. His voice was lowered. "How are you and lover boy?"

Esther blushed and shook her head. "Why? What's he said to you?"

"Oh, nothing."

Esther turned to him. "You know, you're such a bad liar, Andrews."

"Just a little birdie told me that he, uh, had a surprise for you for when we return back to base," Andrews commented with a smirk.

"Oh, really? And did this little birdie tell you not to say anything to me?" Esther smirked, with a shake of her head.

"You know what I'm like, Williams. I get too excited," Andrews chuckled as he slowed to a stop. A raised hand in the distance meant for them to hold their positions.

Silence fell upon the crew as they observed their surroundings for immediate danger whilst those at the front dealt with an issue. Each morning they were sent out to do a full sweep of the area to ensure the safety of the inhabitants of the village, it was mostly checking up on those vulnerable people who were living in the middle of war zones. They offered respect and were respected in return. Families living within the boundary were kind and understood the extra protection. And whilst the village was quiet and peaceful for the most part, the crew knew that could change at any moment. Each mission presented to them often meant a difficult decision to be made, and Esther was just thankful that hadn't happened just yet.

A second hand was raised, and they were on the move again. Andrews now spoke in hushed tones.

"You know, you and Kennedy make a great couple."

Esther could only blush and shake her head. "We've not actually told anyone about us yet."

"Oh, I know. I found out," Andrews smirked, causing Esther to glance at him with a furrowed brow. "That boy talks in his sleep. Just a warning for the future."

"You really need to—" she trailed off as another hand was raised and the crew came to a halt. As they fell into silence once more, she could see the urgency of the team before her. Something was happening but she didn't know the severity of it just yet. This was a usual habit with the first few soldiers checking something out and normality usually resumed once the coast was clear.

She moved to scope the area and saw Kennedy on his knees. Three of their comrades stood around him and it was only when the sun bounced off a reflective surface that she saw what they were dealing with. A young boy, no older than ten years old, was stood with a vest made of explosives. The weight of the responsibility thrust upon him was at an almighty high, and Esther could only feel frustration and confusion at the situation. Her mind was screaming at her but all she could do was to stand and watch as her fellow soldiers took control.

But it seemed that time slowed then, and as hollered voices surrounded her, she knew what that meant. Desperation and panic rose within the whole team, and then there was just… darkness and heat. It was a blink of darkness, but she knew time worked differently now.

A bitter wind swept across the area as she lay upon the hot ground. The sky was a profound shade of blue, a calming hue to the true devastation that surrounded her. She felt the pain that overwhelmed her body, burning every part of her like a wildfire spreading quickly. She could feel her life slipping out of her fingers like sand in a warm breeze, fleeting with every pained breath she took.

And then she felt it.

A small droplet of rain coming from the sky, but as she blinked against the sunlight beating down directly upon her, she saw no darkened clouds filling the sky and closing around her. As consciousness slipped away from her for a moment, she knew it was only a matter of time before she would become still. And she didn't want that to happen. She didn't want to die out here.

The bomb had one purpose, and that was to kill and destroy everything and everyone in close proximity to it. Every aspect of it was designed for this very goal, and she wouldn't give it what it wanted. She had seen the expressions on her team's faces as they realised what was happening and that it would be too late.

The rain began to descend upon her, a light spray of water at first then heavy and more consistent droplets. The cool pattering of rain droplets soothed the exposed skin, but it was only when she lifted her hand up to her face did she realise that the rain was not colourless as she first thought. Dark crimson blood rained down on her body. A gentle pat, pat, pat upon her uniform, face and hands was all she could hear as panic rose within her. Pink mist.

She clamped her eyes shut as tightly as she could in an attempt to compose herself. She gasped in pain as she attempted to move, her limbs feeling as though they were fused in cement. She quickly checked her condition, the feeling in her legs returning albeit sore and stiff. Taking off her helmet, Esther scanned her surroundings. The bodies of her friends were strewn across the area.

The feeling to empty her stomach then was overwhelming as her senses returned to her and the smell hit her. Her medical backpack had been pulled from her body in the blast, and she quickly grabbed it as she crawled towards Andrews whose body was still. She reached up to his neck and checked for a pulse. Nothing.

No. This can't be happening.

His unseeing eyes met hers and she felt sadness cloud her heart. She closed his eyes with his fingers and laid a respectful hand upon his chest. She crawled towards her other friends and through the smoke, she could see that they were deceased. She checked for pulses and her fears were confirmed. As she was losing hope, she caught sight of him.

Kennedy was closer to the explosion than anyone else, but it looked as though he'd tried to flee the impending explosion.

"Kennedy…" she choked against the smoke. "Sam…"

A strong arm wrapped itself around her chest, preventing her from dragging her body over to Kennedy. Or what was left of him.

"He's gone, Williams," Abraham whispered, his presence causing her to crumble. She hadn't heard his team arrive. "Are you hurt?"

Her face was stained with blood, but it wasn't her own. She shook her head as he wiped the blood from her face as best as he could, her eyes remaining on the still bodies of her comrades. The intensity of her job was something that she thrived on, but she dreaded situations like this. It was always something she struggled to grasp, the thin line between life and death. And that would always mean one thing and that was her reality now.

The demise of her comrades. The loss of her friends.

"I've got to…"

She wanted to break down and cry for the loss of her friends. Every moment she shared with them popped into her mind like a movie playing; celebrations of life and death, of moments of love and defeat, of words of wisdom and fear. As the dust settled and the smoke lifted, she saw the true devastation of the aftermath of the explosion. Ringing in her ears was knocking her concentration and she struggled to hear Abraham as he spoke to her. Her hands shook against him as her mind raced.

"Williams!" Abraham said, pulling her up to a seated position, but it was a mere inaudible whisper for her. "Esther… stay with me—"

Esther could only see the panicked expression on his face as he lifted her from the ground, but the darkness was foreboding and intimidating, and washed over her before she could fight against it.

.x.

Daryl sat in silence as he listened to Esther. Her words filled the air around them, and he let them linger for a moment; letting them seep into him. She had lost her comrades in an unsuspecting attack, and she had felt powerless to protect and save them. And he understood then why she was always trying to keep everyone safe, why she went above and beyond for those around her.

"I'm sorry ya had to go through that," Daryl whispered genuinely. "I had no idea. That's why ya care so much about protecting everyone else."

Esther shrugged. "Maybe it is."

"Ya should get some sleep," Daryl told her. "I'll take first watch."

"Did you mean what you said earlier?"

Ya come back to me, okay?

Daryl was about to speak when the hollering of his brother caught his attention. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "The beast has awoken. I should… go calm him down."

He climbed through the window, leaving Esther outside to her own thoughts. She remained outside for a little while longer, listening intently as Daryl calmed his brother down. He was confused, the sun stroke had well and truly Esther heard him calming down Merle. She shuffled against the wall, lifting Sophia up as she stood, before heading back into the apartment.

She cast one last look outside and swallowed the lump in her throat.

She really wished Abraham was out there somewhere.