Chapter 16

Steve was in heaven. He had James and Natasha in his arms who were still sleeping, but he didn't doubt that their son would wake up soon to see what Santa had brought him. Steve had woken up in the night and sneaked out to put James's parents underneath the tree. He was so incredibly happy to spend Christmas with his family. Steve could honestly say that he had never been happier.

Natasha mumbled something in her sleep and he waited for her to wake up, but she only snuggled closer to him and James. God, he loved her so much. He knew that she needed time to figure out her own feelings for him and he would give her that since it had taken him some time himself to realize that his heart belonged to her. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he was sure that she felt the same. He had seen it in her eyes yesterday when they had been outside James's room and he was sure that she wouldn't sleep with him if she didn't have feelings for him. But then again, he wasn't 100 percent sure.

James's eyes fluttered open. "Daddy? Christmas?"

"Yes, buddy. Merry Christmas." He whispered softly and his heart grew two sizes when James beamed happily at him. Having a child was truly the most amazing thing in the world.

"Merry Christmas, daddy!" James shrieked, waking his mother up.

"Huh?" Natasha looked disorientated for a moment before her focus landed on him and James. "Merry Christmas, baby."

"Merry Christmas, mama!" James pressed a kiss to Natasha's cheek. "Presents?"

They both laughed, watching James crawl to the end of the bed and jump down. Natasha's hand squeezed his. "Merry Christmas, Steve."

He squeezed her hand back. "Merry Christmas, Nat."

"Santa! Santa!" James yelled while he ran out of the room.

They followed James downstairs who was gaping at his presents. He tore into them while Natasha and he watched him with amused looks on their faces.

Natasha and James had gotten him new pencils for his art classes and a collage of baby pictures of James.

"Thank you." He was touched, he hadn't seen those photos before and now they were his. He hated that he'd missed so much of James's life.

"It's no portrait-" Natasha's cheeks turned pink.

"It's perfect. Thank you."

She nodded and James wanted her to help him set up his new Lego Duplo. He pulled Nat's other present out underneath the tree while she was busy with James.

"Here." He handed her the velvet box when she looked at him. "I hope you like it."

"Steve." She smiled and opened the box. He meant what he'd said yesterday. Natasha deserved to be showered in gifts and he was glad that he could buy her the things that his ma had always admired. "They're beautiful, thank you."

She kissed his cheek and he smiled dumbly. He'd gotten her emerald earrings that reminded him of her (and James's) eyes.

"Mama, wanna see!" James came closer and Nat showed him her gift. "Oh, pretty." He said and then he lost interest and went back to play with his new toys.

"I feel bad. Your gifts are so thoughtful and I-" Natasha started but he shook his head.

"No, I love my gifts. And you've given me already everything." He looked over to James. "I have everything I could want. I'm glad you like the earrings."

"I do." She smiled beautifully and his heart fluttered in his chest.

They face-timed their friends to wish them a great Christmas, and later they baked cookies and went for a walk and built another snowman. It was truly the best Christmas Steve had ever had. James looked so happy and Steve's heart fluttered every time he looked at Natasha whose cheeks were flushed from the cold. God, she was so beautiful.

He was sad that they were leaving tomorrow. He wanted to stay here forever. He was almost scared to go back to New York because he had no idea what that would mean for him and Nat. Would they keep sleeping together or was this just a one time thing while they were in Vermont? He wanted to keep having sex with her, he wanted an actual relationship with her. He wanted the three of them to live together, he wanted to marry Natasha and have more children with her.

A snowball hit him and he looked at James who pointed at his mother who grinned smugly. He ran over to her and grabbed her by the waist. Natasha shrieked and tried to get out of his embrace. He dropped her onto a pile of snow and knelt over her.

She was laughing and sat up, their face only a few inches away from each other. Her eyes had an amused glint in them.

"I'm gonna make you pay for that." She whispered lowly. "You're not getting inside of me tonight."

"No?" He gulped out.

"No. But you're gonna use your mouth a lot later." She gave him her signature half smirk.

"That's okay with me."

James attacked them seconds later, throwing himself at him. Natasha hugged him against him, falling back into the snow. Steve looked down at the two, not being able to understand how he got so lucky. Natasha and James were the loves of his life.

They were back in New York for two weeks and Steve missed their time in Vermont, but it was also good to be back home. New Year's Eve had been a small party at Pepper's and Steve had gotten a kiss on the cheek from Natasha at midnight.

Steve came over every evening to have dinner with Natasha and James, and he helped bring their son to bed. James had also stayed over at his place twice. Natasha had stayed until the kid was asleep so he wouldn't get homesick.

And yes, he and Natasha were still sleeping with each other. They usually tucked James in, enjoyed a glass of wine, Natasha would check on James, and then they would disappear into her bedroom. She didn't want him to stay the night so James wouldn't get the wrong idea. Steve didn't want to leave in the middle of the night, but he had to respect Natasha's decisions. He would give her as much time as she needed.

He was working on a sketch for his art class when his cell phone rang. He checked the screen and was surprised that Natasha was calling him from her landline.

"Nat?"

"Daddy?"

The panic in James's voice sent a shiver down his spine. "James? What's wrong, buddy?"

"Mommy sick! She's puking and a ghost! Can you come and save mommy?!"

He jumped off the couch and grabbed his wallet and keys. "I'm on my way. Where's mommy right now?"

"In the bathroom. She say she fine, but she's not! Is mama gonna mad that I tell you?"

"No, buddy. She won't be mad. I'll be with you shortly and take care of mama, okay?"

"Okay." James said before he hung up.

If he wan't so worried about Nat, he would have been impressed that his son was able to call him. He knew that Natasha's serum wasn't like his, so she could get sick from time to time. He didn't know if James had ever seen his mother sick, so it was possible that he was freaking out right now. Steve was in such a hurry that he forgot a coat, but it didn't matter. He sprinted down the street and then around the corner and he already saw Natasha's building.

Someone left the building and he ran through the open door and then up the stairs. He knocked on the door and a few seconds later it opened.

"Daddy!"

He looked down at James and smiled at him. "Hi, buddy. Where's mommy?"

"Still bathroom."

He picked James up and sat him down onto the couch. He turned the TV on and zapped through the channels until he found something for kids. Maybe not the best parenting technique, but he wanted James distracted while he checked on Nat.

"I'll be right back."

"Is mama okay?" He asked with big eyes.

"Yes. Don't worry."

James's gaze moved to the screen and Steve left the living room to get to Nat. The bathroom door was closed and he opened it.

"I'm okay, baby. I'll be right with you." Natasha groaned out, kneeling in front of the toilet.

Was she pregnant? Steve shook his head and pushed that thought away. "Natasha?"

She looked over her shoulder, surprise evident on her place face. She really looked like a ghost."Steve?"

"James called me. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Nat."

"Okay, fine. I think I got the flu." She shivered and he only noticed now that she was still in her work clothes. A blouse and a pencil skirt couldn't be that warm. "Where's James?"

"Watching TV." He walked over to her and pressed his hand against her forehead. Jesus, she was burning up. "Oh, sweetheart."

"I'm freezing. I don't feel so good." She really had to feel bad if she was admitting that.

"Come here." He wrapped his arms around her. "Let's get you into bed." He moved one arm underneath her knees and lifted her up to carry her to her bedroom. He put her gently onto the mattress and helped her undress and change into her pajamas.

James came into the room when Natasha was snuggled underneath a few blankets. "Mommy?"

"I'm okay, baby. Daddy's taking care of me. I'm sorry I scared you." Steve saw how much Natasha was struggling to talk to James without showing how weak she was. She'd dozed off several times while he changed her clothes.

"Cuddle?" James patted over to the end of Natasha's bed.

"Not now, baby. Sorry, but I don't want you to get sick. Your immune system isn't as strong as your daddy's yet. You could get what I have."

James pouted. "Wanna cuddle!"

Natasha sighed and tried to hide a shiver. "Daddy can cuddle with you."

"Do you want me to ask Uncle Bucky if he can hang with you, buddy?" Steve asked, hoping that Bucky could take James for a night or two. Natasha was too sick and Steve would be busy with looking after her. And James would be out of the apartment and hopefully not catch what Nat had.

"Okay."

Bucky was thankfully free and picked up James an hour later for a sleepover. Steve was more than thankful and he was touched that Bucky had shown up with Tylenol for Natasha.

Natasha was mostly sleeping and she objected when he asked her if he should call Helen to check up on her. He accepted her no with gritted teeth. He was going to call Cho if Natasha was getting worse.

Natasha woke up with a gasp when he came into her room to check on her. "Where's James?!"

"Bucky picked him up. He's fine, don't worry."

Natasha nodded and groaned. "I feel like shit."

"Can I get you anything? I ordered ramen, do you want some? I couldn't find a place that delivers chicken soup."

"I don't think I can stomach that right now. But thank you. You should have just taken James and then gone home with them, Steve. You don't have to stay here."

He sat down on the edge of her bed. "I'm taking care of you and Bucky is looking after James. I am where I want to be."

Natasha closed her eyes and a shiver went through her body causing her body to shake. Steve didn't think. He just acted. He toed his shoes off and slipped underneath the blankets to pull Natasha against his chest. She didn't fight him, she snuggled into his embrace to soak up his warmth.

"Try to get some sleep." He whispered and she nodded against his sweater.

An hour later Natasha woke up, feeling too hot, and she tried to get out of her pajamas and ended up lying in bed in only her underwear. Steve tried his best not to stare at her. He'd seen her naked before, but they weren't exactly a couple yet, and he wasn't sure if he was allowed to see her naked when it wasn't sex related.

He left her alone since his body heat was now too much for her and he sat down in the living room, checking his phone. Bucky had texted that James was asleep after a trip to McDonalds. Well, Natasha wouldn't be happy about that trip, but she was too sick to deal with that.

He was going through Natasha's medicine cabinet to see what she had for herself, but of course almost everything was medicine for children. Bucky had brought Tylenol and something for Nat's stomach, but Steve wasn't sure if that was enough. Maybe she needed antibiotics or at least something stronger against the fever.

Natasha was groaning and he left the bathroom to check on her. He found her sitting on her bed, getting back into her pajama. Her hair was sticking to her head and she still looked very pale.

"Hi."

She turned her head to look at him. She smiled a little, but it looked like it took her a lot of strength to do that. "Hi."

Her voice sounded terrible. He figured that she also had a sore throat. She had to see a doctor. He was going to call Cho whether Nat liked that or not.

"Are you hungry?"

Nat shook her head. "No." She cleared her throat. "I think I need a shower. I'm sweaty and gross."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm not dying, Steve. I can take a shower."

"Fine." He crossed his arms. "You can take a shower if you let Helen take a look at you."

She raised an eyebrow. "Seriously-" A coughing fit interrupted her. "Okay, fine."

"Thank you." He sighed in relief and texted Cho, asking her to do a house visit.

"It's just the flu, Steve." Natasha said softly. "It's going around at the moment. I probably caught it at daycare."

"You'll get better faster when Helen gives you the right meds."

"God, I hate that my serum isn't as strong as yours." Natasha groaned, trying to stand up. He ran over to her to help her. He was surprised that she let him. "I'm thirsty."

"I got you Gatorade."

She nodded a thanks and he helped her into the kitchen where she slowly emptied a bottle of Gatorade. His phone buzzed and he saw that Helen had answered. Shit, she wouldn't be able to come over tonight. She was busy at SHIELD. But at least she would send someone with meds for Natasha.

"I think I'll try some of the ramen now."

He reheated it for Nat and the doorbell rang while Natasha ate her soup. He excused himself to answer the door. He hoped that SHIELD had developed something that would beat Nat's flu quickly. He didn't like to see her like this.

He opened the door and was face to face with Sharon. He hadn't seen her since he'd come back. She had been overseas and he honestly didn't know what to say to her. He owed her an apology. He shouldn't have kissed her after Peggy's funeral and Berlin, and she must have felt weird knowing that he'd gone back with the intention to be with her aunt. He hadn't told Peggy that he'd kissed her niece. She would have probably murdered him.

"Uh, hi."

"Hey." She nodded and helped up a paper bag. "This is for Natasha. I was on my way out when Helen asked."

"Thank you." He accepted the bag and noticed the diamond ring on her left ring finger. "Uh, congratulations."

A smile lit up her face. "Thank you. We're getting married this summer. Uh, um, tell Natasha to get better."

"I will." He said and Sharon was about to leave. "I'm sorry-"

"It's okay. We were both sad and confused. It's better this way. Getting together would have been more than weird. And I deserve more than a man who pined after my aunt."

"That's true. I'm still sorry."

"Apology accepted." She smiled. "I should get going. Tom's waiting at home for me. I hope that this time it will work out for you. Sharing your life with someone is...it's everything. Aunt Peg shared hers with Uncle Daniel and I hope you'll find that, too."

"I'm working on it. I wish you the best, Sharon. I hope you'll be very happy with Tom."

"I think I will." Her face lit up again, she was truly in love. "Say hi to Nat for me."

He watched Sharon leave before he closed the door. He was happy for her that she found love. She was a remarkable woman and he hadn't treated her the way that she deserved, and he was truly sorry for that.

He opened the bag and read the note that Helen had included so he would know how to treat Natasha. The pills were supposed to fight off the flu within 48 hours. It was insane what science could do these days.

"Who was at the door?" Natasha asked when he came back into the kitchen. The soup was only half gone, but it looked like she was done with dinner.

"Sharon. She brought your meds."

Nat made a face. "That must have been awkward."

"A bit." He answered truthfully. "We talked. I apologized. She's engaged."

"Yeah. To Tom. He's a nice guy. Works for the DOJ."

He wasn't really surprised that Natasha knew all about that and he didn't bother to ask why she hadn't told him. It didn't matter.

Steve filled a glass with water and gave it to Natasha with two pills. " Take them and drink the whole glass. You have to take another two pills tomorrow. Cho says that your flu should be gone in two days."

Nat did as she was told. "I hope it works as fast as Helen claims. I feel like shit." She emptied the glass and put it down. "Can you...help me take a shower now? Please?"

Her voice sounded small and he was aware how hard it was for her to ask for help. "Of course, Nat."

"It's not like you haven't seen everything before, right?" She joked when they were in her bathroom and she got out of her pajama.

He smiled at her comment and helped her climb into the bathtub. He would only rinse her quickly off, she was in no state for a long and hot shower. He checked the temperature before he moved the shower head over her body to wash off her sweat. He quickly wrapped her into a big towel and helped her out of the tub. Natasha changed into a new pajama and went back to bed.

"Do you need anything else?"

Natasha looked at the water bottles on her nightstand. "No, thank you."

"Okay. I'm in earshot if you do need anything."

"Thank you. For coming over and taking care of me."

"You don't have to thank me for that. We're family."

She nodded tiredly and snuggled under the blankets. Steve wished her a good night before he left her room, leaving the door a crack open so he could check on her breathing better.

He wasn't tired yet and cleaned up the kitchen and James's toys in the living room. Bucky had texted him, offering to watch James as long as Natasha was sick. Steve thanked him but he was sure that James could come home soon.

Steve was flicking through Natasha's magazine when he heard noises coming from her room. He got up from the couch to check on her. He found her shivering in her bed, her forehead sweaty.

"Steve." She looked surprised to see him. "Hi."

"Hi. How are you?"

"I think my fever's breaking?" It sounded more like a question. "Are you really here or am I hallucinating?"

"I'm really here, Nat."

She sat up straight in bed. "Where's James?!"

"With Bucky. He picked him up."

"Right." She lied down again, her eyes unfocused. She seemed really out of it. "Come here. Lie with me."

He hesitated for a second, but then he got into her bed. She needed him now. "I'm here, Tasha."

She wrapped herself around him like a koala. Her skin was feverish hot. He really hoped that the fever would go down during the night. "I missed you so much." She mumbled into his chest. "I...I always hoped that you would come back to me. And James. We're supposed to be together. The three of us."

"I know and I'm so sorry." He hated him for what he had done to her. Natasha may have forgiven him, but he hadn't yet.

"Being a single mom was tough...I wanted you to do this with me. I never told anyone, but I wished that you would come back to me and James. He's so much like you. He loves you so much. You can't leave again."

"Never. I will never leave him and you again. I love you both so much." He whispered fiercely, meaning every word. Natasha and James were his world.

"I was so lonely." She tightened her hold on him. He ran his hand over her back and hoped it was soothing for her. "I knew I could raise James on my own and I did, but something was missing. I thought about dating, but I knew that I couldn't let a stranger into our lives. James had to be protected. And I couldn't date one of our friends. It would have been too weird. I thought about dating Bucky-" Steve felt like he got punched in the gut. "But it wouldn't have been fair to him. He deserves more. I couldn't be with him just because I was lonely and longed after someone to share everything with. It wouldn't have been for the right reasons. He wouldn't be you. No one is like you."

Steve was aware that the fever made Natasha open up like that. She wouldn't have told him any of that if she wasn't sick. No one is like you. What did she mean with that? Hope was blooming in his chest. Did she have feelings for him? He wished for nothing more, but he knew that there was a chance that his love was unrequited.

"Do you really love me?" Natasha looked up at him with big eyes. He'd never seen her so vulnerable and open before.

"Yes, with all my heart and soul."

She gave him a shy smile and pressed a kiss to his jaw. "No one has ever loved me before."

"Do you believe me now when I say that I'm in love with you and only you?"

"Yes, I do, Steve." Her hand move to rest over his heart. "I think I was jealous when you left me for Peggy."

Steve's breath got caught in his throat. Had he heard right? She had been jealous? That meant she had feelings, right?

"I've only ever been yours." He promised her and kissed the top of her head. He loved her red hair. It was his favorite color.

"Good. Mine." She mumbled, her hand searched for his and she laced their fingers together when she found it. His heart fluttered in his chest. "You're mine."