~Author's Note~

To Guest: As I've stated before, I don't write things like that or in any vicinity to that, and frankly, that request made me uncomfortable, if it was even a legit request. If it was, feel free to request something else that's more in my wheelhouse or if you'd like seek out a different author who does write more mature things (there are a few on here).

Hope everyone enjoys this one! Drop a review with what you thought, and who else is excited for the new movie?

Prompt:
tumblr ask: if ur taking suggestions, i think we all need a little more sad zed. hes always optimistic and happy but what happens when hes not?
Notes:
If I didn't make it super clear Zed and Addison are sophomores so they're both sixteen in this one.

Genre: Romance, Angst and Hurt/Comfort
Rating: PG-13

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17
You'll Be Okay

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"Hey," there's a soft push against his elbow and Zed lifts his head from his arms, glancing over at Addison sitting next to him. "Are you okay?"

He plasters on a smile, even though he knows she's going to see right through it. "Yeah. I'm fine." Addison gives him a look, and if it wasn't for Mr. Zeck finally gathering the attention of the class by dropping a piece of chalk, she would still be giving him that look. Instead she turns back to the front of the room, the entire classroom rumbling with chatter as the older zombie tries to collect himself.

Zed waits for the commotion to clear before placing his head back in his arms and closing his eyes.

Today was just . . . an off day.

It wasn't a big deal. Everyone had them, everyone got them and when they happened to Zed they just hit hard.

Sometimes it hit him just how different he was. Sometimes it was about how hard it was being a zombie in a world that hated zombies. Sometimes it was about his mom, and how he'd never hear her voice again, and how he was already forgetting what she sounded like.

Sometimes he wasn't happy, and that was okay.

Well, it was okay with everyone except Addison.

It wasn't her fault, really.

She just hated seeing him so quiet and sullen, and all she wanted to do was help. She just didn't know how, and usually Zed would ask Eliza to play bodyguard but she had caught the zombie flu going around this year and Bonzo was too busy making Bree's birthday present all hours of the day so Zed was on his own.

No big deal.

The bell rings, bringing Zed back out of the silence. Almost robotically he starts to gather his things and place them in his bag, and Addison nearly startles him when she places a soft hand on his shoulder.

"You're definitely not okay."

Zed hesitates, and then settles on saying the truth, hoping that maybe knowing will make her understand and she'll leave him be. "So what if I'm not?"

He shrugs off her hand and then shoves his science book forcefully into his backpack, causing Addison to flinch. He sees the movement out of the corner of his eye and says nothing, because if she's scared of him too, is any of this even worth it? He figures it's a question for later, for when he's finally alone, and slings his bag over one shoulder, clutching the patched strap close to his chest.

Addison reaches for his open hand, slipping her fingers through his.

"What's wrong?"

Zed clutches the strap tighter, his short nails biting into the coarse material. He debates for a moment, torn between telling her the truth, again, or just lying and getting it over with. He weighs his options, decides on one and avoids looking her in the eye.

"Just," he starts, uneasily, his gaze moving from the clock above the door to Mr. Zeck over by his desk, shuffling through test papers from the day before, mumbling to himself. "Today isn't my day, Addy," the words feel like sandpaper in his mouth, rough and out of place.

She grips his hand tighter, "What happened?" The classroom is empty now so there's no need to lower their voices but Addison does anyway, taking a step closer to him. "Was it those guys on the team again? I swear I'll—"

"Why does it always have to be something?" He snaps, patience fully gone. "Because I'm a zombie? Because I'm not human? God, something doesn't happen to me every single minute, Addison! Maybe I'm just feeling down today, okay?"

His voice lowers to a mumble and his eyes shift to their intertwined hands. "Maybe I'm just in my head today."

Addison says nothing and she doesn't move from her spot, but Zed's raised voice did catch the attention of Mr. Zeck, who is looking over at the two in concern. "Kids? Everything okay over there?"

Addison stays silent so Zed takes the reins, reaching up and wiping at the corner of his eye—which is wet all of a sudden—before turning towards their impromptu science teacher for the rest of the year. "Uh y-yeah, sir. Everything's—fine."

Mr. Zeck looks unsure but nods his head anyways, returning to the papers spread out in front of him.

Zed feels a tug on his hand and follows Addison out of the classroom mutely, allowing her to lead him to her locker. She drops his hand and twists the lock back and forth, unlocking it with almost no effort, and all he can do is stand there awkwardly as she throws her books inside.

It's the end of the day so the hallways are mostly deserted by now, besides the few people still hurrying off to their afterschool activities. It's Wednesday, which means Addison has cheer until five-thirty and he has football practice until six.

It's barely three-fifteen and he's already ruined his relationship.

Addison shuts her locker with a bang, her backpack now gone and replaced by her cheer duffel. Zed keeps his stare on his shoes, his dominant hand picking at the skin around his Z-Band unconsciously.

It's a nervous habit he picked up after messing around with his Z-Band freshman year, only brought to attention by Addison and Eliza. He hadn't even noticed it was a thing he did until the girls had pointed it out, and still sometimes he doesn't realize when he's doing it, even a half-year later.

Addison reaches over and stops his fingers, closing them in her palm. His eyes snap to hers and the emotion in her own slam into him like a football to the chest.

She's hurt but trying to hide it, though she's not doing very well.

"I'm going to cheer. I told some of the girls I'd help them with the finishing steps so I won't get done until football practice lets out. Wait for me and we can walk home together and talk. Okay?"

He doesn't have the heart to tell her that he's not going to practice. He swallows the words and they nearly choke him. "Okay," he says instead. Addison nods stiffly but her hold on his hand lingers, for one moment, and then two.

Zed pulls his hand back.

He turns around and doesn't look back.

Zoey's playing with Puppy in the living room when Zed comes through the door, disheveled and upset. The smell of cooked cauliflower brains assaults his nose upon entering, the tang of too many added spices (something his father is known for) causing his stomach to roll and twist.

This is what monsters deserve whispers from somewhere deep inside his brain and he bolts for the stairs. "Zed?" Zevon calls from the kitchen, "That you?" Zoey answers for him as he shuts his door and falls back against it, sliding down to the floor.

Thoughts are racing through his brain, what feels like millions of them, and he groans and throws his bag as far away as he can. He reaches for his hair and pulls to try and ground himself as his bag skids across the floor and under his bed, disappearing from sight.

Addison had flinched from him throwing a book into his school bag.

Someone who was supposed to love him, and she was scared of him. It was only a matter of time before she ran and their relationship crumbled to pieces, if it wasn't already. What was the point of trying to be different, of trying to be understood, if his own girlfriend was scared of him?

Seabrook hated zombies. He thought he came to terms with that, years ago, back when he was a bouncy seven-year-old and his mother was still chasing him around the backyard. Humans were never going to understand, not if they didn't want to give zombies a chance in the first place, and that was something that was never going to change.

He thought he understood that, even when his mom—

"Fuck," he whispers, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. His hands slide down so he can wrap his arms around his knees before he buries his face and attempts to hide away from it all.

His mom.

She was the best person he knew. She was so kind and understanding in ways his father was not. She treated everyone equally and they—her body wasn't even—

He can't remember the sound of her voice, and it makes him cry harder.

The screen of his Z-Band flickers and a soft warning pulse of electricity is pumped through his veins, startling his body. If the Z-Bands sensed any strong emotion unaccounted for, hello electric pulse. Because he was a zombie, and Seabrook's grand way to treat zombies was to—

There's a weak shove at his bedroom door and even without the quiet grunt of effort he already knows who it is. He slides forward so Zoey can push the rest of the way in, Puppy trailing behind her like the loyal dog he is. Zed doesn't lift his head as he feels his sister take a seat next to him, Puppy sniffing at his threadbare converse.

Shoulder to small shoulder, Zed closes his eyes. His tears are silent.

"Zed?"

Puppy whines, batting a tiny paw at Zed's leg. He shifts slightly so Puppy can curl up in-between both zombies, his head resting in Zed's lap, his back paws stretched out across Zoey's legs. He nuzzles his nose against Zed's stomach and he can't help the watery chuckle that leaves him at the dog's antics.

"Are you okay?"

Zed sniffles quietly and sighs before leaning closer to his sister. "No, Zoe. I'm not."

"Is it about Mommy?"

Zed feels his heart constrict. It always hurts, hearing it out loud. He can't lie to her. "Yeah Zoe. It's about Mom." He's quiet a moment. "I miss her. I miss her a lot."

"I miss her too. So does Dad."

"How do you know Dad misses her?"

He feels Zoey shift next to him, "He tells me about her sometimes. I wish I got to meet her."

Zed almost sobs at her words but pushes the feeling down. It's already bad enough his sister knows he's crying, the least he could do is not make a sound. "She loved you so, so much and you weren't even here yet."

Zoey's head comes to rest on Zed's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she says, very quietly, and more tears find their way down his cheeks.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Zoey."

The waves lapping at the rocks below are loud, a roar of a different kind of beast. Seagulls cry out as they fight each other for scraps of food down on the beach, and two nasty ones get into it over a half-eaten vanilla donut. Zed shakes his head, smiling despite himself.

"The vanilla isn't worth it guys," he mumbles to himself, watching as the seagull on the left wins and flies away in success.

He kicks at a pebble particularly close to the edge of the cliff and watches as it goes flying off, much like the seagull had. When it hits against the large rocks below, it shatters on impact, and he finds himself looking over the ledge longer than he intended to.

He hears her feet before he hears her voice.

"Oh my God, Zed!"

He turns around just in time for her to throw herself into him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him back a few steps. "What the hell were you thinking?" She asks, still pressed against him and out of breath. Zed's arms find their way around her as he hugs her back, resting his chin on top of her messy hair.

"I wasn't going to jump, Addy," he whispers, "I come here to remember."

At this Addison pulls back, enough so she can look up at him yet still keep her arms around him. He's looking back at the ocean, but the sunset makes the tears in his eyes easy to see. "Zombies weren't allowed on the beach when I was little, um, we still aren't, I've never been on the beach in my life, but," he sniffles and reaches a hand up to wipe at his nose.

"My mom, after dinner, she would say that if I could get changed into my swimming trunks in thirty seconds that we could go to the beach. I always thought it was a stupid challenge because I could get changed super fast but I would run up the stairs anyway and get my home-sewn swimming trunks on and then run back down the stairs."

He chuckles and shakes his head, a few tears slipping down his pale cheeks. "Mom and Dad would be waiting for me by the front door, and she'd have a bucket and tiny shovel and off we'd go. We'd all hold hands and come up here."

Zed turns and points over to a small divot of sand off to the side, no bigger than a pothole in the street.

"My mom would sit with me and we'd play with the sand. Sometimes my dad would take the bucket and go and fill it with water and then dump it on us, but Mom scolded him enough that eventually he would just dump it all on me instead."

Addison reaches up then, catching his tears with her thumbs and wiping them away.

He smiles, but it's thin. "Dad started to work more and more because Mom got pregnant with Zoey, and soon it was just Mom and I coming up here. One day, when she was due to have Zoey any day then, a Z-Patrol officer found us up here."

"Zed," Addison murmurs, running her fingers down his cheeks, stopping a tear slipping down his chin. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

He sniffles and shakes his head, "No, I want to." His arms are still wrapped around her, and she's glad for the anchor. He's glad for the contact.

"Um . . . Mom explained what we were doing up there, just playing on the beach, and he—he pulled out his gun. I don't know if your dad ever told you, Addy, but back when I was little the Z-Patrol were allowed to carry pistols on them. For—for safety."

Addison gasps in horror, "No, he never did. I never knew. Zed—"

"She raised her hands up and told me to stand up, and . . . and I went to run to her because I was scared and that man fired at her. She got shot because I didn't listen. The man left her there, ran I think, and I was seven I didn't—I didn't know what to do. Mom she—she told me to go and get Dad so I ran as fast as I could."

"Zed," Addison whispers, heartbroken with her own tears streaming down her cheeks.

"We got back to her in time, Dad, me, some people from Zombietown. I was dropped off at Eliza's house and they got Mom to Containment. The doctors were able to save Zoey but Mom she—"

He trails off and finishes his thought a minute later. "She named her before she went. Zoey. Baby Zoey." He shakes his head, "Addison I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to yell or say any of that."

"I don't care about earlier Zed. I care about you, right now." She leans up on her tiptoes and kisses him, both their lips salty with tears. "But I am sorry about earlier too." She says when she pulls back, "I pushed you to talk when you weren't ready. Everyone has off days and I kept pushing and pushing—"

"You were just trying to help," he says, and she scoffs playfully.

"If only you weren't so stubborn—"

"Hey," he defends with a chuckle, "I'm very grumpy when I'm not optimistic."

"As I found out," she turns serious again, reaching up and running a hand through his green hair. "I'm sorry about your mom, Zed. She seemed like the best."

A sad smile crosses his lips, "The very best." He leans down and kisses her tenderly, pulling her close afterwards. "I love you, you know."

She rests her head against his chest, "I know." He pokes her in the side and she giggles, shifting in his grip. "Of course I love you too, you big dummy."

He chuckles, pulling her even closer. "Just had to make sure."

She rolls her eyes and they watch the sunset together, and as the orange melts away into purple, Zed knows he's right where he's supposed to be.