Blood ran through Seth's blood violently and unnaturally; like the flow would stop in his veins and pile up, tensing and freezing and then becoming so much that it erupted and exploded through his whole body and lit him on fire. His lungs could not get enough air to satisfy him. His muscles stiffened. He couldn't move or think or do anything because if he did otherwise he might kill and destroy everything he could see. He was, for the first time in his life, filled with a venomous hatred.

Seth saw it. He saw it once and then he saw it millions of time over. It was unwilling. The sight of it made him feel like he could throw up one of his lungs. But his mind played it over and over and it felt like he was taking burning metal and pressing it against his temple.

He thought, God, this would be so much easier, so much simpler, if he could hate Alex. If he could blame her. If he could leave. But he couldn't and he wouldn't. He replayed it in his head. He watched her eyes widen in shock. He watched her body stiffen. He watched him pull away from her and he watched her stand and wordlessly leave. Seth wanted to see her act like herself; to scream at Embry and pull at his hair and scratch and claw at him. But she didn't and there was no way he could know if she wanted to and he could not stop thinking about her role in it.

Seth distanced himself. Overwhelmed and cut and raging, he ran through what he felt like was the entire Canadian cost. He thought about California. He thought about what damage he could do down there and thought the death of whoever hurt Alex might distract him from the pain of seeing Embry's mouth on hers. He had never felt so unhinged.

He didn't know how long he was gone and he didn't care to know. Time didn't matter in terms of days or minutes but in terms of Alex—how long had he been away from her? How long was she left wondering what was happening? How long before he gets back to her?

Seth ran up to Canada and ran back and felt no less wild; the anger still pumped through his veins and possessed his mind and body and everything there was to him.

There was no game plan. Seth had no idea what he was going to say when he marched up to Embry's front door but he knew that his whole body was moving so quickly that he would come up with something on the spot and that would just suffice. He didn't care much for words, either; he hoped that if all went well he would rip Embry's arm off.

Jacob stood firmly in front of his house. He knew Seth would come to do something violent and stupid and he knew his responsibility was to stop it. Seth didn't care. He didn't care who was in charge. "Seth, stop."

"Get out of my way," Seth replied lowly and coolly, not stopping his stride.

Jacob stepped in front of him, putting his hand onto his chest. "Seth, stop. Go cool down."

"No."

Jacob sighed, tossing around ideas in his head. Who could he make mad. Who is in the right. Who deserves what. "Don't do something stupid."

Seth was shaking. He had to contain it. "I'm not the stupid one."

"Jake, I got it."

The sound of his voice pushed Seth; made his muscles jerk. His eyes flicked over to Embry, who stood at the threshold of his door and Seth became obsessed with the idea of snapping his back in half. "You're a fucking liar."

"Seth, listen-"

"You told me you'd back off. You said you wouldn't do anything. 'You're my brother, Seth,' but you're not my brother. You're a fucking liar."

Embry sighed. He stepped towards Seth. "I only did it to help you."

Seth became enflamed. "Help me?" he laughed, incredulously and filled with contempt.

"Alex needed to realize that she was acting stupid by pushing you out and—"

"It's not of your fucking business Embry! You knew! She told you! She told you everything because you bullied her and she fucking told you and you took advantage of her and you fucking touched her against her will and I wanna know why you think you have the fucking right."

Jacob remained stiff between the two of them as Embry inched closer. "The way she treats you, dude."

"Is none of your business! Don't try to act like you're doing all of this for my benefit when you just want to fuck my girl. And she is my girl."

Embry got dangerously close. "She's not your girl. You don't own her. And if she wanted to fuck me, she could."

And then Seth lost it. His skin tore apart and he and his rage became unstoppable. Embry had done it and it was over and done it was done done done. Seth was out for blood.

It must have been horrifying to watch; to hear the yelping and the snarls and the crunching and to smell the rich iron blood. Seth wanted to kill him. Seth would have killed him. But he heard the strong and command ring of Jacob's Enough! and he knew it was done. Done done done. He backed off, jaw tensing and untensing and saw Embry looking broken and bloodied and he did not care if he went too far because when it came to protecting and defending Alex too far was not far enough.

He showed up at her door with healed cuts and dried blood and fresh bruises that were already fading. She was crying when she opened the door. "I'm sorry," she sobbed, breathless and shaking.

Seth looked down at Alex and despite himself, calmed He wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her and her legs wrapped around his waist because this was the closest, they could physically get to each other and they could not be close enough. "I'm sorry," Alex cried again.

"It's okay," he said, even though nothing about this was okay. It was wrong and twisted and mangled and broken and he felt like it was his fault and he didn't want to admit that some of it might have been her fault too. "I'm here, it's okay."

He started walking. Further and further away from her house and his house and he walked with her in his arms and clutched her so tightly he worried he might have hurt her but her crying never changed or wavered. He stopped on the beach he first brought her too. He stopped, but she still clutched him and refused to release a grip. "Alex, you know we have to talk."

She was shaking. She had reached the same point as Seth and they were both shattered. "I'm sorry."

"Please stop saying that." He tried to let go of her legs but she clung so tightly. "Please look at me, Alex, please talk to me."

Slowly, she released him but she buried her hands in the sleeves of her sweater and kept her head down at the sand. "What do you want me to say?"

Seth bounced back and forth on his feet. "Can you just," he faltered, "can you just please tell me why you won't talk to me? Like, you won't talk to me but you'll talk to Embry. Why? I'm not mad I just, I wanna know."

Alex couldn't stop crying. It wasn't active but the tears kept falling while she opened her mouth. "I just, I've never like, it's so much, Seth. I can't wrap my head around the idea of imprinting and it's so scary to me and I feel like now I have some sort of obligation to you and I have to act a certain way and it's horrifying." She paused. "I don't owe Embry anything."

Pieces started to connect in Seth's head and he wanted to throw himself in the ocean for being comparable to the person who hurt her so badly. "You don't owe me anything. I just want you to be happy, I don't care what it takes."

"I didn't want him to kiss me. I don't think of him like that and I didn't think that would happen I just wanted to know about how everything works and you're so delicate with me it's like you're afraid to be honest."

The wind whipped hair around her face. Seth looked down at her. "I just care about you a lot."

"I just want things to go back to how they were before you told me."

They were at an impasse. Seth couldn't think and Alex couldn't breathe and he couldn't imagine the right thing to do or say to make this better.

"We can try," is what he settled on.

"Everything's ruined."

Seth dropped to his knees. She was killing him. Ripping out his heart and eating half of it and stomping on the other half. "Please, Alex." He didn't know what he was asking for but he wanted it so badly. He wanted him and her together, simply. "Alex, I love you so much and I would do anything to make this right just please give me the chance."

Alex looked down at him and looked into his eyes and her tears stopped and it was like they were seeing each other for the first time. She lifted her hand and caressed his cheek were his dried blood crumpled. He felt the pull and the clarity, and it was like everything was erased but her and she must have felt it too because she dropped to her knees with him. "We're meant to be together, Alex."

She bit her lip. "You got hurt for me."

"If you wanted to kiss someone, you could. But you didn't, and I won't let anyone get away with hurting you."

"This is so much for me."

"I know."

There was only Alex.

"I'm so tired of everything."

And her heartbeat.

"I know."

"But I think you're right."

And her breath.

"We are meant to be together."

There was only Alex and her flaws and her lips and her breath and her voice and her arms and fingers entwined in his hair and her smell and her heartbeat and he was wrapped up in it all.

if i could go back and rewrite the first 14 chapters i would but i am too lazy so instead i'll jsut build off it and acknowledge that there are tone shifts and plot holes that are super inconsistent but hey ive been writing this for years and i change as a writer every day so how can u blame me. anyways lemme know how this is did u love it did u ahte it