Everyday that I was home dragged on longer and slower than the previous one. My intention for being here was to get some rest, but I didn't have one proactive night of sleep the entire time. Strange visions of Sesshomaru danced around in my head every instance that my eyes closed. Without fail, I would wake up in a cold sweat searching the room for his presence and he would never be there. Every glimpse of his was so vivid that I believed for that moment that they were real. Over and over again the memories of our adventures and sweet encounters together raced through my dormant thoughts. It was like falling in love all over again, except it wasn't real. Tears would stream from my eyes as I curled up in bed and cried to myself thinking of him. Even when I was unconscious I couldn't get him away from me.
One specific dream stood out from the others. It was different from the recollections of memories that came before it. This one was new and took me completely by surprise. In the dream, I had shot straight up in bed after hearing a rattling coming from my usually quiet room. I called out for Grandma in case she had snuck in to mess with the jewel, but she didn't answer. I turned my head to the corner by the window to see a tall figure shadowed in the darkness. The dim light of the moon made him visible enough that I could see his large silhouette, but nothing else. I was ready to let out a cry for help to my slumbering family, but it was quickly interrupted.
"Do not scream. If you do then I will have to leave", the figure said. The voice traveling into my ears was so familiar. Low and melodic with a cold tone that I both enjoyed and hated. My newly conscious eyes blinked over to the direction of the words.
"You have been gone for only a few days and have already forgotten me. What a shame", he said with an audible smile lacing his tone. I knew this sarcastic voice. My groggy brain scattered trying to put the puzzle pieces together to figure out who had snuck into my room.
"Sesshomaru?", I asked.
There was silence for a moment. My breathing thickened as I waited for him to answer me, despite already knowing that I was right. I hoped it was him for the sake of my safety. If it was a random guy that had broken into my room I'd be in trouble. But having Sesshomaru right in front of me again was also as detrimental for my well being as anyone else, I suppose.
"Yes", the dog demon answered.
A thud landed in my chest as my heart sank. I had finally come to the conclusion that it was best to never see him again. Low and behold, though, here he was all of a sudden. When I wanted him to be around he threw me away like trash, but now that I was trying to forget about him, he returns. Such a typical man.
"What are you doing here? How did you get in?", I questioned. Another stupid question to ask a ridiculously powerful demon. He could get into the Oval Office without an issue, let alone my old house. "Let me rephrase my question. WHY are you here?"
I had raised up on the mattress to sit criss-crossed for a better view of him. Looking down I realized my bare legs were out. It was hot in Japan during the summer and Grandma refused to turn the AC on because she didn't want the bill to be high. I must have pushed the covers off of myself while I slept. That wouldn't be a problem if I slept in normal pajamas like the average person. An oversized T-shirt and underwear was all I had hiding my body parts.
"You look very beautiful this way, Kimmy", he laughed at my attire. "You should have worn such garments more often around me."
My cheeks went hot and I rushed to pull the billowy blanket over my body. I rested it right under my chin like a turtle neck to ensure that he could no longer see any part of me except my disgruntled face.
"Cut the crap. I know you didn't come all this way to watch me sleep like a creep. What do you want?", I pressed further.
He stepped out of the shadow behind my window so I could see his chiseled features. Each point on his face was just as beautiful as I remembered. Soft pale skin, a hard jawline and hair like white silk blessed my line of sight. With another large step he closed the short distance between him and the foot of my bed.
"Are you not afraid of my being here so close to you?", he asked me.
"Should I be?", I snorted back. "You've tried to kill me enough times already and failed. If you were going to murder me, I think you would have done it by now."
"I would never harm you in that way and I have no intentions of frightening you any further if I can help it. That is not why I came", he said inching another step closer to where I laid. My heart predictably started pounding hard at the forward movement of his body to mine.
"So, what are your intentions for being here then? You made it quite clear how you feel about me already. I don't need you to follow me home to reiterate that you don't need me", I responded back.
My tone was harsh but I could feel it's withering confidence. I was still overwhelmingly hurt by how he had spoke about me to Inuyasha. Just seeing his beautiful face again flared unearthed emotions I had tried to place deep within myself. It was hard to believe that so many days of hurt could be undone by one look at his face.
"That is in no way how I feel and you should know that", he stated coldly.
I sat up further in my bed and pushed the comforter off for more mobility. Just in case I needed to get up and punch him in the face. I could feel my eyes glaring daggers into his and but he didn't appear fazed.
"I can't believe you have the balls to say that to me right now. The last time we saw each other you were telling you brother how much you don't care about me. 'I don't like human like you, Inuyasha. The girl is only a means to an end'", I mocked. "And I'm supposed to ignore that even though I heard it come from your mouth? I can't just forget that you dismissed me like that and follow you around like a lost puppy. No thank you, sir. Try that trick again with another idiot human girl. I'm sure you won't have any trouble seducing someone else the way you did me", I spat in his direction.
"What I did was no trick. I said that to protect you from danger. You're welcome to believe that I'm trying to deceive you, but I assure you I am not", he stated holding our eyes in an intense gaze.
My temper flared forcing me to lift myself onto my feet at the end of the bed and looked right into his face. I wobbled on top of the squishy mattress and almost fell but refused to let my cool dissipate before I could chew him out. If I'd have kept the traditional sleeping mat that was in the room when I first got here, this task would have been much more sturdy and less embarrassing. I regretted replacing it with my new traditional bed, if only to make me appear more put together in front of him.
He grabbed my wrist to stabilize me. Once I was steady on my feet, I swatted his hand away. He rolled his eyes down at me in annoyance. I was quite surprised to find out that even standing on the elevated surface, Sesshomaru was still an inch or so taller than me. However, that wasn't going to stop me from ripping him a new one. I wanted to tell him to go fuck himself and that he was an jerk and a scumbag to have treated me the way he did. Topping it all off by showing up at my house in the middle of the night like a crazy stalker. My finger was pointed in front of his nose. Aimed and ready to tell him all of my frustrations. Until I got suddenly distracted. His yellow eyes were staring directly into mine the sultry way that I had seen once before at the pond.
He leaned his lips close to mine saying, "I meant what I said earlier about you looking beautiful tonight."
My hand dropped to my side like a limp noodle. Every word resting at the tip of my tongue to fight him with had dissolved into puddles of drool. My limbs locked up in anticipation as his lips moved closer. The warm breath escaping his mouth was brushing against my skin, sending a shiver up my spine.
"You think so", I stuttered back. I looked down to the ground trying to avoid looking at him. I was probably disgusting looking. He was being sarcastic, I was sure of it.
"I look like I was woken up by a demon unexpectedly standing in my room. And my hair is a tangled mess. I haven't even brushed my teeth and I-", he abruptly stopped me. Placing a warning finger over my lips, telling me to shut up. Our eyes had never faltered in their locked paths. Noses practically touching each other.
I held my breath, trying not to take in his scent. This is how it went downhill the last time. Ending with me completely naked in front of him and him looking at me like he wanted to eat me alive. There was no way I was going to put myself through that again. Or at least I hoped that I wouldn't.
"Then I will have to come back here. So, I can see you this way again", he hummed.
A long manicured hand slid up my shoulder, stopping to grab the back of my neck. He gently placed his fingers around the base and pulled me into him. Our lips collided with furious intent. It took until we embraced again for me to remember how invigorating it felt. I wanted to melt into his mouth and never leave. His hand tangled into my tousled hair and forced my head back. The sudden movement made my mouth open in a surprised gasp. As my lips parted his tongue swept inside and tried to overpower my own. We fought for dominance until I gave into his aggressive gesture. I was fine with his taking control of me, I wanted him too. Aggression easily turned into passion with him and it made me throb all over.
He removed his hands from my tresses and gripped it around my throat. His touch was hard, but it was strong enough that a surge of panic ran through me. The longer we kissed the harder his grasp became. My hands shot up to remove his but he was too powerful to stop.
"Are you afraid of me now", he asked, releasing his lips from mine. Golden eyes watched me with anticipation while I struggled to respond. The air in my chest was seeping out, leaving me gasping for oxygen. "Answer me, girl. Are you scared of me", he repeated with growing fury.
"No", I coughed out.
I wasn't scared of him at all. Exactly the opposite was true. No matter how much he put me through I would always allow my feelings to get sucked back into him. I was willing to accept that fault within myself and live the rest of my life this way. Despite pleading with the universe to forget about him, I couldn't. We were tied to one another whether we liked it or not.
"I'll never be afraid of you and you know that. I'll go anywhere you go because I want to. Not because you forced me too", I struggled to say.
He released my neck from his grasp and I fell onto the bed. My palms shot to my sore jugular to rub the tender lines were his fingers had been.
"Then you are a fool. I will only ever be a danger to your life, yet you still choose to want someone like me. Even with my hands around your throat, you willingly pursue me. I could have easily straggled you to death or snapped your neck in half. Do you have a death wish?", he snarled.
I coughed for a moment before I could answer. My vocal chords were strained a little but I refused to let him leave without telling him how I felt.
"If it means being with you then, yes I do", I exclaimed.
A deep sigh of hesitation enveloped the room. He was peering at me with a downward curve at the ends of his mouth. I could tell he was thinking about something. His tense expression told me he was trying to control himself around me. For an instant, when we kissed I could feel him growl into my lips until he forced it back into his chest. This had nothing to do with my own feelings towards the dog demon. The truth was that he was afraid of me. Terrified of the way he felt about me and how his morals had changed while around me. I started to sit back up when his hand rested on my chest and laid me down flat on the bed. His large body was nearly on top of mine in less than a blink.
"Will you return to me?", he asked. I couldn't speak. My words were caught in limbo from his contact with my chest. Warm clawed fingers grazed my breasts and I couldn't help but release a shutter from underneath my skin. A snarl vibrated the air between us and he repeated, "Tell me you will return to me. I need to hear you say it."
His tone was so vulnerable. I had never heard him sound so desperate for anything. Our breath tangled together as I sat under him in silence. My mouth opened and I gazed deeply into his yellow orbs.
"I'll go anywhere you go. I promise", I responded confidentiality.
He softly placed one more peck between us and then one on my forehead. His lips lingered under my hairline with hesitation. Removing his face from mine, he looked down at me one last time. The pained expression across his face made me nervous. He seemed unsure of something.
"What's wrong?", I asked.
I winced at the sudden sharp movement of his body rising up. He had removed himself from on top of me and rushed back into the darkness of the room. His silhouette stood in front of my opened window like an emotionless statue. I threw my body to the end of the bed and reached out for him.
"Please don't leave yet! I said I'd go with you. Just give me a minute to put some clothes on", I begged rushing over to my closet.
"I must go. There is another matter to be dealt with that you can not be present for. We will see each other again I promise", he explained blankly.
Tears brimmed under my eyes while I prepared to say goodbye to him. I had come to terms with not ever seeing him again when I thought he was a jerk, but now it felt like I was going through heartbreak for the second time.
"Stay with Inuyasha and the human girl until I tell you otherwise. If we cross paths do not interact with me. I will do the same. When everything is safe, I will return for you", he said.
"Safe from what?", I asked.
He gazed back at me and raised a glowing hand in my direction. I tried not to look directly at it, but it's draw on me was too strong. Everything soon went black until I was awoken by a set of hands shaking my shoulders.
"Wake up, child! It's almost 6:45 and your still asleep? Kids these days are so lazy. Back when I was a kid we got up before sunrise to go to work. But you choose to lie around in bed until almost 7 o'clock. Wasting the day away. Shameful. Get up!", I vaguely heard Grandma nag.
My eyes cracked open to the view of an old wrinkly face only inches from mine. Her mouth was twisted into a frown and eyes slicing into mine. This was not the person I wanted to be this close to me right now.
"I'm going to count to ten and if you aren't awake before I finish, I will be forced to go get the broom", she exclaimed. I groaned in response. Turning my back to her in rebellion, I pulled the blanket back over my face.
"One… two… three… four… ten!", she yelled. A hard broom handle slapped at my back and I let out a scream of pain.
"Ouch, Grandma!", I screamed. I held my hands over my head as she raised the broom handle back up to hit me again. "Okay! I'm up, I'M UP! Why say you're going to count to ten, if you skip half of the number?! And did you have the broom the whole time?!"
"Don't question me in my house. I ask the questions only. Okay? If you weren't up all night preoccupied with boys, you wouldn't be so sleepy now", she said.
With a wink she quickly left the room. She yelled something about me helping her with breakfast, but all I could do was sit in bed stunned. My mind raced at her last words. The only thing I was preoccupied with was my dream, or so I thought. My heart raced at the idea that what I thought was only a figment of my imagination could have been real and that maybe Sesshomaru had really come back for me.