Chapter 16: My Very First Detention

My stomach felt like lead. My intestines were squirming uncomfortably. As Filch led the way to Professor McGonagall's office, I walked as though in a daze. I could tell that my legs were moving, but I was unsure as to what was propelling them forward. For the first time ever, the logical, analytical, reasoning part of my brain shut down, and it was all I could do to make sure I kept breathing.

When we reached Professor McGonagall's office, she started talking to us, but I couldn't hear a word she was saying. It was like I was in my own bubble of silence, a voice in the back of my head my only company. You broke the rules, you're in trouble. How could you be so irresponsible?

Professor McGonagall looked furious and I knew that it was my actions that had caused this fury. My eyes glazed over and I could no longer tell what was going on around me. My mind just kept repeating to me over and over what I had done and how I was a horrible person.

I should never have agreed to get involved in this little escapade. It wasn't my responsibility to watch out for Hagrid. He was a grown man. We'd done all of this to prevent him getting in trouble for having a dragon in his hut, but now we were in trouble instead.

Eventually I found myself following Harry and Neville back to the common room. How Neville ended up with us, I couldn't figure out, but somehow, my usual curiosity was gone, and I couldn't even be bothered with asking.

Thankfully, my dorm mates were all asleep when I returned to my dormitory. I didn't have the energy to deal with them at that moment. I crawled into my bed and pulled the curtains closed around me. I grabbed at my covers and pulled them up over my head and I curled up into a ball and let my misery wash over me.

I'm Hermione Granger. I study and get good grades. I don't wander around after curfew and get in trouble. This never would have happened if I had never become friends with Harry and Ron in the first place. They must have a bad influence on me. Maybe I should go back to the old, lonely Hermione; the Hermione that studies day and night and doesn't smuggle illegal creatures through the school after curfew.

Finally, mercifully, after hours of lying there, wallowing in my guilt, I finally fell asleep.

0o0o0o0o0o0

The next morning, I realized something important. Sure, the old Hermione was responsible and smart and obedient and everything I prized myself on, but she didn't have to disappear. I didn't want to give up my friends, because I haven't had friends before in my whole life, and it felt really good, but I could still be me. One detention wouldn't change my whole life. So, I got up, got ready, and headed down to the common room to meet Ron and Harry before going to breakfast.

It was bad. It was worse for Harry, because he was famous and everyone knew him, but I still felt like melting into a pile of popsicle goo every time someone recognized me and started glaring. Class was terrible. I always felt like I was being stared at. I could feel eyes boring into me as I sat hunched over my notes. I tried to stay out of the spotlight for a while. I stopped answering questions in class and I stopped trying to correct other people's work when I saw their mistakes. I didn't need any more attention than I was already receiving.

Even worse than the hostility I got from other students though, was the disappointment that each of my teachers displayed whenever I saw them.

"I really thought you were better than this," Professor Flitwick said as I took a seat in charms.

"Such a shame," Professor Sprout said in the greenhouse. "You had such promise."

"I guess not all Gryffindors are as perfect as they seem," Professor Snape mocked us in potions class.

I felt like a failure. I felt like I'd let everyone down. First a failing grade on my herbicide potion and now this. And if my parents were to find out… I just had to hope Professor McGonagall didn't write home about this.

Harry, Neville, Malfoy and I met Filch in the Entrance Hall the following night, and he led us outside to Hagrid's hut.

Hagrid explained that we were going to be looking for a hurt unicorn. He split us up into two groups, Malfoy, Neville, and Fang went one way, Harry, Hagrid, and I went the other. We ventured into the forest slowly. I knew I was supposed to be looking for a unicorn, but I was more focused on staying right next to Hagrid in case something worse was to appear.

The whole ordeal was terrifying. At first, I'd been a little surprised that our detention was going to be so atypical of the normal sort – writing lines, banging chalkboard erasers, sitting in a corner for a specified amount of time. But now that we were out in the forest, it made sense. Spending the evening surrounded by the dangers of the Forbidden Forest was sure to dissuade anyone from ever breaking another rule again. Not that I needed the extra push. The judgement and disappointed looks from students and staff had been enough for me.

After about an hour, I caught sight of some red sparks and my heart started to race. What was happening? Were Neville and Malfoy in danger? Would the danger soon be coming for the rest of us? Would I make it out of the forest alive?

Hagrid hurried off to check on the boys, leaving Harry and I completely alone. Without Hagrid, started to panic. Whatever was in this forest that had resulted in it having been restricted to student access could jump out and devour us at any moment. I surreptitiously inched closer to Harry. It wasn't that I thought he'd be much use in the way of protection, but more that I didn't like feeling so exposed.

Hagrid returned, and to my relief, the boys were all right. Hagrid changed around the groups then, sending Harry off into the forest with Malfoy and having Neville join our team.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I wondered as Harry and Malfoy traipsed down the path with Fang in tow. "What if they kill each other?"

Harry and Malfoy were famous for hating each other, after all, and had butted heads on more than one occasion.

"They'll be fine," Hagrid assured me. "Harry can hold his own."

It was no surprise to me to find out that Neville was extremely jumpy. With every rustle of the wind, every stick cracked underfoot, he would startle and grab onto my arm.

"Maybe we should turn back," I suggested a little while later. "I think we've learned our lesson."

"Can't," Hagrid replied, shaking his head. "Haven' finished our mission."

I wondered if Hagrid realized that this was still a detention. We couldn't be out here all night, we had to get to sleep at some point. I also realized there was a strange irony to being punished for being out after curfew by being forced to stay out past curfew.

"Hagrid, it's getting late," I said as we walked deeper into the forest. It was getting quieter, the leaves stiller, and it chilled me to the bone. Something wasn't right about this forest. "Please can we turn around?"

Before Hagrid could answer, Malfoy came running and screaming out of the dense forest, followed not long after by Harry riding a centaur. They'd found the unicorn, but they'd also found something much worse.

"All righ' let's go. Back teh the castle with yeh lot," Hagrid declared, turning us around and leading us back towards the grounds.

Harry had run into him. In the forest. In our forest. Right here, next to where we ate and slept and went to class. He was so close, I could throw a rock off the Astronomy Tower and hit him if I knew the right direction to throw. He was so close; he could waltz right up to the castle and kill everyone inside if he wanted. Which begged the question – why didn't he?

Harry answered the question for me. He couldn't. He wasn't at full strength. He needed the Philosopher's Stone. He needed Snape to steal him the Philosopher's Stone. And once he did, he'd be back to full power.

My only comfort was that we still had Professor Dumbledore around. Dumbledore had been the only person He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had ever feared. As long as he was around, we'd be protected. I didn't have to worry.

When I went up to my dormitory, Sally-Anne was awake. When she saw me, she scowled. "I hope you've learned your lesson," she said, clearly still angry about the points I had lost for Gryffindor. I ignored her and pulled my curtains closed.

I suppose I should have been worried about the Stone and You-Know-Who and everything, but exams were just around the corner, and the next day I began revising like crazy. I re-read all of my notes for all of my classes for the whole year, as well as re-reading all our assigned textbooks and a few others I thought might be useful. I allowed Harry and Ron to study from my notes as well, because I looked at theirs and they were horrid.

As it came closer and closer to exam time, I became more and more nervous. I almost stopped eating, choosing instead to stay in the library and read. Harry and Ron had to forcefully drag me to the Great Hall if I was going to eat anything at all. I started reading in bed again and – although I didn't tell anyone this – I slept with my notes under my pillow.

All too soon, Monday arrived and it was time for my first exam – Herbology. First, we had a written exam and then afterwards, we had to do some practical work in the greenhouse.

After Herbology, we had Charms, which I was sure I did really well on. I even included some information I had read in one of the chapters of The Standard Book of Spells that had never been assigned. The practical exam for Charms was easy – all we had to do was make a pineapple tap dance across the desk. I had practiced many more spells than just that one.

The next day we had Defense against the Dark Arts, but it was only a written exam – Professor Quirrell said he didn't think a practical exam would be necessary. In the afternoon, we had Potions. We had to brew a forgetfulness potion in addition to our written exam. I worried that my potion wasn't thick enough, but Harry was next to me and he insisted it was perfect. When I told him that I was sure it was horrible, he rolled his eyes at me and shared a look with Ron.

After each exam, I went over it again in my head and looked up the answers in my books. This seemed to really annoy Ron, though I don't know why. I just wanted to make sure I'd answered everything right.

Wednesday morning, we had Transfiguration. I felt that I could have done better in the written part, but when I had to transfigure my mouse into a snuffbox, Professor McGonagall said it was wonderful.

We had our written Astronomy exam that afternoon, but our practical exam was at midnight. We had to identify constellations with our telescopes. After that exam, around one in the morning, we all piled back into the common room and went to bed to rest before our last exam the next morning – History of Magic.

I fell right asleep as soon as I got into bed as I was extremely tired. Around three in the morning, I woke up suddenly in a panic and grabbed my notes from under my pillow and began to revise. About halfway through, I realized I was revising for Transfiguration and that I had just written that exam the previous morning. I had never switched my Transfiguration notes for my History notes when I came to bed as I was so tired from Astronomy. Instead of switching the notes, however, I just let myself fall back asleep.

The History of Magic exam was much easier than I had anticipated. I had heard from some of the older years that it was extremely difficult, but I suppose that's because everyone sleeps through Professor Binns' lectures. In preparation, I had read four extra books I had found in the library that covered topics I thought might be on the exam, but it turned out I hadn't needed to at all.

All in all, I felt good about my exams. I was actually a little disappointed that they were over, but at least I had next years' to look forward to.