After the events of Kir Sabal, Carmentia and Valerius wrestle the green Tear away from Torrin to prevent it from corrupting him. The Company now heads for Nangalore. (Chronologically between On Caring Too Much and Tears)

Made of Love

Of all my time in Chult, what I had experienced in Nangalore was something I could never forget. We were on our way to collect the black orchid, something that would allow us to bring the little prince safely back to Port Nyanzaru. But my heart was heavy. The aarakocra had called us heroes for saving prince Na, but… I didn't feel like one. What kind of hero would fail to save a child's sister? What kind of hero would fail to be there when their friends were hurt? What kind of hero would be so stupid as to overlook the fact that their friends have lied to them time and time again and still make excuses for them anyway? And still call them friends? Tensions in our party were higher than ever, especially now that we were forcibly keeping the green orb from Torrin's possession. I kept telling myself this was for his own good, it would corrupt him otherwise, but… I still felt like a bad friend.

We arrived at Nangalore. It must have been a beautiful place once upon a time, but now it was broken and overgrown. We explored the place, but several close encounters later, the black orchid was still nowhere to be found. Instead, a talking bird found us. Our hosts were awaiting our arrival, he said.

We were brought to a part of the gardens that had remained relatively intact to meet our hosts. A woman who claimed to be the queen of Omu, with the black orchid in her possession, and a drow man, tall and handsome. He was exceedingly polite and had an air about him that put others at ease. But the way he held himself, it was easy to see he was strong, perhaps many times stronger than all of us combined. Still, a gentle smile remained on his face.

Ishmael, he introduced himself. He had been expecting us. While we certainly hadn't been trying to keep ourselves hidden, that was still concerning. I was, however, curious. I hadn't met many drow before, and the ones I had met were… less than hospitable.

He invited me to an evening walk in the gardens. It was… strange. I couldn't read him. I knew he knew far more than he let on, but in many ways, I felt the truth in his words. He was charming, respectful, and he betrayed no ill intentions… my mind still screamed at me to be careful. I had been hurt too many times before, by my own companions, by people I thought I could trust. People whose hearts I couldn't change, and in my naivete, I had been too blind to see. But my heart…

When he told me his story, I felt his sorrow, his regret. He had lived for so long, experienced so much. Suffered so much pain. He was tired, so very tired. But he was still here. Perhaps it was because of our shared drow ancestry, and the things we had been through because of it, but I felt the threads of connection intertwine. We understood each other. And I felt… safe.

Eventually he told me about the rainbow orb he possessed. I warned him to be careful, but I sensed he already knew far more about it than I did. Eventually I told him about our quest to end the Death Curse. He promised he would help us. I was wary, but he only smiled at me, and assured me everything would work out in the end.

He came to us a few hours later, rainbow Tear in hand. Our little fresco for the black orchid, and a thousand pieces of gold. But of course, he wanted to commune with the Tear in our possession. And Kulak, ever the shrewd businessman, asked for communion with his Tear in return, for two of us.

Despite Torrin's protests, the Tear was handed over to Ishmael. He held the green orb for a few moments, then smiled and returned it to Kulak's waiting hands. It was enlightening, he said.

It was only when I let out a sigh of relief that I realised I had been holding my breath.

Kulak then took a hold of the rainbow orb. I waited nervously for the outcome. The seconds stretched on. But eventually, Kulak blinked a few times as his consciousness returned to his body. I watched him carefully. He seemed fine, perhaps more contemplative than usual, but I knew not to trust appearances.

Aulera reached out for it next. I tried to warn her, tell her to exercise caution, but Ishmael held out a hand, stopping her. And then he turned to me.

"I want to show you these Tears are not the evil you imagine them to be."

The Tear I knew had only caused us pain, grief. It had only torn us apart. I wanted nothing to do with these artefacts. But…

I know, it was stupid to trust him so easily, especially after what I had just been through. It seems I never learn. But there was a feeling deep inside me that told me he would never hurt me. And… after everything, I just wanted to believe there were still good people, truly good people in this world.

I reached out to the orb he offered and let myself fall.

The world around me faded as my consciousness was enveloped in colour, light, warmth. It welcomed me. I felt two presences around me, one as brilliant as the sun, the other as deep as the oceans.

What do you live for? Their voices whispered.

What would you die for?

What would you kill for?

No. I don't want to hurt anyone. Never. Never again.

We understand.

As the pressure on my mind eased and the blinding light died down, I found myself in a little room with wooden furniture. Where was I? I looked around. Dried bunches of herbs hung from the corners of the room and the doorframe opposite me. Pressed flowers decorated the walls. A gentle light filtered through the windowpane. The air was filled with a blend of dust and herbs and… I scanned the room, looking for the source of that scent. Then I caught sight of a little bowl of blue-grey blossoms on the windowsill. I felt a smile grow inside me. I was right. Lavender. This place… I had never been in this place before, but it felt, familiar. Then I heard a gentle humming just beyond the door, and a melody that had been lost to me for ten years. That voice…

I ran to the door, it wasn't locked, and I all but barrelled into the next room. I stopped in my tracks. A woman stood in front of the window, with hair that brilliant shade of red. It was her. I never thought I'd see her again.

"Mother!"

She turned around and smiled. She was just as I remembered. Beautiful, strong, and with such kindness in her eyes. I had always been afraid I would forget her face one day. She held out her arms to me. I ran to her, almost tripping over my own feet in my haste, and threw myself into her embrace. I had always thought I would be overjoyed to see Mother again. But being there in her comforting presence, I couldn't help but start to cry. It had been far too long since I had felt love like hers. She just stroked my hair gently as I wept. I felt like a child again.

"I missed you so much Mother."

"I know. I've missed you too Hanae."

I looked up at her and she pulled back slightly from the hug to cup my face in her hands.

"Oh, sweetheart. Look how much you've grown! My beautiful girl!"

I chuckled lightly. "And you are as beautiful as always, Mother," I echoed those familiar words. It had been too long.

It was wonderful seeing her smile again. But it was so jarring with how I remembered her last. It dredged up that well of hurt I had kept at bay, and I couldn't unsee the look of pain and fear on her face the last time I had seen her. When she had still been alive. My own smile faltered.

"Mother, I…"

There were so many things I wanted to say to her.

"I'm sorry, Mother. I'm sorry. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. If only I hadn't hurt him… then you wouldn't have… you wouldn't have…"

She shook her head.

"Hanae, everything I did, it was because I love you. It was never your fault. Please don't blame yourself anymore."

"I… I'll try."

She studied me for a moment. I tried to smile for her.

"What else is troubling you, sweetheart?"

I never could hide anything from her. Mother always knew me best. So I told her everything. I poured my heart out, and she listened to every word. Finally, I came to where we were now. I looked to her.

"Mother, I… I don't know what to do. I tried to help them be good, I really did, but… they don't want to be."

I hadn't explained what I meant, but I knew she would understand. She always did. She wiped a tear from my cheek.

"Everyone has good in them. They just need to be found. Don't give up hope just yet. You're doing the right thing."

She kissed the top of my head and hugged me close once again.

"Now, go back to your friends okay? Stay strong. Always search for the beauty within."

"Mother…" I didn't want to leave. Not when I had just found her again. I knew it wasn't real. I knew this was just an illusion, created by the entities in the rainbow orb. But even if this was only a beautiful dream, I didn't want it to end.

"It's alright sweetheart. We will see each other again. But in the meantime, go out there. Be happy. Live. That is the greatest comfort you can give me."

It was like losing her all over again. But in the end, I let go.

"Okay," I whispered, wiping my eyes on my sleeve as I tried to keep my voice level.

"I will. I promise." I took a step back and everything began to dissolve into motes of light. My mother smiled at me as she faded into the radiance. Just before she disappeared I called out into the endless space.

"Goodbye, Mother."

"Goodbye, Hanae," her voice echoed in my mind. "Remember I will always love you."

I love you too.

My consciousness eased out of the orb as though waking from a dream. I blinked away the tears from my eyes as I looked up into Ishmael's gentle gaze. Somehow, I knew. He understood. In a moment of impulsiveness, I threw my arms around him.

I knew, it was inappropriate. I had only met Ishmael a few hours earlier after all. But I wanted to thank him, for not betraying my trust, for showing me the light in my darkest moments. For giving me the chance to see her again. For giving me the chance to say goodbye.

He returned my hug. It was… warm. And for just a moment, I felt… loved.