I'm nervous about this chapter. It wouldn't come together like I see it in my head, but…*covers face* ok go…

XXXXXXXXX

Jacob was right: Edward did look like shit. As he stumbled outside the house, I took in his disheveled hair, his wrinkled half-untucked button down, and black eyes and knew that this was taking a greater toll on him than Jacob and Seth let on. He tugged on his copper hair as he walked toward us. He was just a couple feet from us before he spoke with a concerned look on his face, "Jacob, Leah, what are you doing here?"

I closed the distance and swung my fist until it connected to his marble face. Edward dropped to the ground with a thud. He held the side of his face and groaned before looking up at me. I raised an eyebrow and clenched my jaw. "Get up," I ordered.

"Oh shit," Jacob mumbled under his breath. Edward staggered to his feet still holding his face. When he lowered his hand, there was a crack in his cheek. Good. I shook my hand out, feeling the tingle of pain from literally punching a fucking rock.

"Leah, I don't—" Edward started.

"Fuck you, Edward. You know exactly why I'm here." I spat. I flicked my hair out of my face as I started to pace. "Did you ask Jacob to impregnate your wife as just cause for you to end her pregnancy?"

Edward's eyes darted between me and Jacob. "Leah—"

"It's a yes or no question," I snarled. "And you better answer right because I've got all night and a lot of pent up frustration, motherfucker."

He sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Yes, it's true."

Growling, I punched him again, aiming for his nose. Edward roared in pain as he doubled over, clutching his face. "I don't know what I did to you. I have given you the permission to change Bella. I have defended you. I have protected your wife and child from being killed by my pack, and this is the shit that you decide to pull?" I used all of my strength to shove him onto the ground.

"The baby's killing her," he grunted. "She won't let us turn her and Jacob is the only person she'd want a child with. I don't know what else to do!"

I lunged at him, fully ready to tear him to shreds when Jacob wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me back. I fought against him, reaching for Edward's throat. "Leah, baby, chill!" Jacob tightened his grip around my waist as I thrashed against him. Edward righted himself, watching me. He looked desperate, wild.

"I can explain myself. Please let me just explain." Edward begged, holding up a hand to stop me.

"Leah, come on. Calm down for a second." Jacob grunted, walking backward so Edward's breakable face wasn't within my reach. Once I wasn't fighting him so hard, he started to stroke my hair and whisper in my ear, "It's ok, baby. I promise. I need you to calm down for me, ok? Can you do that?"

"I'm pissed off," I stated loudly, glaring at Edward.

"I know you are, baby, but nothing is going to get resolved this way," Jacob reasoned.

I turned my head to see him as best as I could. "If you let me kill him, I can guarantee everything will wrap itself up in a nice little bow."

"I understand why you're lashing out," Edward said, cautiously. I whipped around to him, eyes blazing. He held up his hand again. "I want to explain."

"You have 30 seconds to explain yourself," I snarled. My wolf was fighting me hard. I had learned to suppress her around the Cullens a long time ago, but she was very possessive about Jacob. And the fact that a vampire had messed with Jacob in any way was enough to send her into fury and me into a rage. "And you better make this make some fucking sense."

Edward looked back at the manor before facing us again. "I've been running myself ragged trying to figure out how to fix this. The baby…it's too strong for her and I don't know why she won't let me turn her. She barely sleeps, she can't move or walk, she can't eat anything—except human blood. And when she does sleep…she's been talking."

"20 seconds." I warned.

"Since Jacob came to see her, she keeps asking for him. Day in and day out, she asks where he is and why he won't come back. Why doesn't he stay for longer than a couple hours? Why doesn't he want to touch her or hug her? She doesn't get it. She feels like your Bond has changed the dynamic of Jacob's friendship with her. It upsets her."

I raised an eyebrow. Of course, it upsets her. The second Jacob wasn't following her around like a lovesick puppy dog, she started to want him or need him as a constant. He was the warmth that she needed, the sunshine. Edward was her true love, but Jacob was her pet. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She makes me fucking sick.

"She starts to mumble things in her sleep. She'll say my name and 'Jacob'…and 'family'…and 'forever.' But I can't hear her thoughts. I think she craves a world where she can keep Jacob and me together and still have a family. But the only way that can happen is if we abort this child and let her and Jacob create a new one."

"Did you know about this?" I asked Jacob.

"No, of course not!" he said, utterly stupefied.

"This baby will kill her, and I can't let that happen." Edward's voice was dripping in desperation. It irked me to no end. "I won't."

"So, let me get this straight," I swallowed. I felt myself starting to shake again. "Your wife wants to thruple up with you and my boyfriend and you're not only okay with it but desperate enough to go along with it without thinking about how it affects anyone else around you?" Edward hung his head and nodded, ashamed. "You're pathetic. I ought to rip your arms off and slap you with them."

"Honestly, Leah, I wasn't thinking about how this would affect you at all when I asked him," Edward ran a hand through his hair again.

"Because you don't think about anyone except for you and your precious Bella, you selfish dick!" I glared at him as I struggled against Jacob's grasp again. I tore myself away from his body and stalked up to Edward. I waited until we were practically nose to nose, the stench of vampire assaulted my nose, making my wolf more antsy and irritated before I spoke again, "Here's the thing, you controlling, manipulative corpse, I don't really give a shit how long you've been alive, how long you've been alone, or how much this girl means to you. If she doesn't value her own fucking life enough to follow through with the gift that we have been so fucking generous to provide her with, that's not my fucking problem. But the day that my boyfriend—my mate—comes home and tells me that his seed has been offered as some kind of alternative plan so that you can get what you want, that's the day when you've truly lost your fucking mind and the day that you've pissed off the wrong person. So, tell me why I shouldn't tear your ass to shreds right now."

Edward peaked over my shoulder. "What would you do if it was Leah, Jacob?" he asked. I wasn't sure if vampires could cry, but I think if he could, he would have in that moment. I kept waiting for that moment where I would simmer down and feel bad for Edward, but it never came. I was angry beyond anything I'd ever felt. There was part of me that was pissed at the idea of Edward asking Jacob such a thing…and then there was part of me that was livid at what some fucked up version of the future would look like where Jacob would actually say anything other than 'no.'

"We're not the same, Edward," Jacob said. "I'm not you and Leah's definitely not Bella. Leah would never put me in a position to even have to think about doing what you've done." I felt relieved to hear Jacob say that. If there was any doubt in my mind that Jacob would take Edward up on his offer, it evaporated instantly. Because he's right. Bella was so selfish and only cared of what happens to her. And Edward is the same way, so, obviously, they're a match made in heaven. Or hell. And by hell, I mean my own personal hell.

"So, I'm just supposed to let her die then?!" Edward roared.

Before I knew what I was doing, I grabbed Edward by the front of his shirt and slammed him against a nearby tree. "You better lower your fucking tone." I glared at him and watched as his eyes widened.

"Why are her eyes glowing like that?" he gasped.

"You did a real good job pissing her off," Jacob said nonchalantly.

"None of this had to be our problem. You were the one that dragged us into it. Again." I hissed, feeling my grip tighten on his already wrinkled shirt. He struggled against my grip with no success. This whole situation is fucking stupid. And then, I started to laugh. Not that laugh where something was really funny. Not that laugh when you're hanging out with your friends and your doubled over because everything is always more humorous when you're around people you love. Not even that laugh you feel when things are so bad, you have to laugh about it. No. There was nowhere else for all of this anger to go. I could feel myself reach a place of being absolutely done. Done with the Cullens and that dumb girl. Done being dragged into their bullshit because of some stupid ass treaty that my ancestors put in place. So, I just laughed. Laughed at what a fucking joke all of this was. It just bubbled out of me before I could understand what was happening.

"Leah…?" Jacob cautiously called to me.

I stared at Edward's fearful face, his black eyes wide. I took a deep breath before letting go of his shirt. He slumped against the tree, smoothing out the added wrinkles from his shirt. I'd be doing so well not letting my anger out on everyone. Well…as well as you could expect from me. But this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Edward truly felt that the only thing that mattered in the world was Bella and that just pissed me off to no end. "You know…" I started, shaking my head. "I just don't feel like your explanation was good enough."

As I pounced on him, I heard, "Leah, don't!"

XXXXXXXXX

Daybreak. Just add that to my list of things that have been irritating me lately. All of these long nights. Since the wedding, I had actually been sleeping. Yet, here I was again, watching the sun break the horizon.

"Lee, please give him his arm back," Jacob asked with a big sigh.

"Can I please have my arm back?" I heard a weak Edward say. My head whipped over to him. He was sitting on his knees, an exhausted and resigned look on his face. One of his hands ran through his tangled hair and the other…was in my hand. It was somehow colder now detached from his body. I played with the fringes of his torn shirt as I watched him.

"Shut up," I said, swinging it until it slapped Edward across his dumb face again. He groaned loudly, dropping his head. I started to pace, swinging his disconnected arm in circles. I stopped to point it at him as I said, "I should set it on fire and slap you with it again."

Jacob was leaning against a tree, his head in his hands. "I should have just kept my mouth shut."

I started to pace again. I had been thinking about what to do for hours. I just kept hearing Kaya's words in my head. Consider every circumstance. But what do you do when your boyfriend's ex-crush's husband asks your boyfriend to have a baby with his wife? And not only that, but the son of a bitch was convinced that he could somehow perform an abortion on her wife, and she wouldn't be mad about it? I wouldn't wish that kind of circumstance on anyone. Not even Bella Swan—Cullen, sorry. So, what was the solution? "You already know what you want to say, Leah," Edward spoke again, his voice cracking.

"Shut up," I emphasized, slapping him again with his arm. I smirked as the sound of hard skin smacking hard skin graced my ears; it was so satisfying. I'd had plenty of time to calm down and I truly had not meant to attack him the way I did. But here we were. I might as well enjoy it as much as I can I threw his detached arm on the ground and turned my back to both Jacob and Edward. "Stay out of my head."

"I'm willing to give you what you want," he offered, taking a heavy breath. I stopped in my tracks and looked at Edward. He looked defeated. "You're right. About everything. I've been selfish. I've been…weak. But I just don't know what else to do. She…she wants both of us."

"But I don't want her," Jacob said slowly. He pushed himself off of the tree he was leaning on and walked over to us. "I protected her because I cared about her as a person. You're really making it hard not to regret that decision."

"Because I want to keep the woman that I love alive?" Edward asked, bewildered. He started to stand at his feet when Jacob rushed in front of me, shoving a strong hand to Edward's chest. "How is me willing to give her what she wants making it hard for you?"

"Everything that you want only benefits you and is that the expense of everyone else. I want you to listen and listen good. I don't want Bella. I don't want to be with Bella. I certainly don't want a baby with Bella. And after this little stunt, I'd be happy not to look at either of your fucking faces after this shit is over." Jacob said, his energy spiking with anger second by second. "I'm not a pawn in your sick fucking life."

Just as Edward opened his mouth to respond, a blood curdling scream broke from the windows of Cullen manor. We all froze as the screams continued to assault our ears. Edward was the first to blur into the house with Jacob and I right on his tail. As we rushed up the stairs, Rosalie and the big one were carrying a screeching Bella into the prepped 'hospital' room in the house. Edward jumped into action, yelling for everyone to get into position. "Emmett, cut her out of her dress! Rosalie, get the morphine!"

"Where the hell is your arm?" Rosalie asked, handing him a giant syringe.

"That doesn't matter! Get Carlisle on the phone, now!" Edward jabbed Bella in the leg with the needle, and I watched as she jerked and shook as the pain shot through her.

Alice's eyes were wild with fear as she spoke to Carlisle on the phone. "He'll be here as fast as he can, but we have to do something now," she said, holding her hand over the mouthpiece.

Rosalie cursed loudly before snatching a scalpel off of the table. "I'll do it myself," she mumbled.

Edward's hand snapped to grip her wrist. "No, we have to wait until the morphine settles in her system."

"He could die!"

"So could she!" he roared. Bella screamed again in pure agony telling them to get him out now, get the baby out now. There were nasty bruises spotting her stomach and her face was completely devoid of color, her cheeks sunken in. Edward looked at her again, his face wearing the worst dread I'd ever seen. He blinked and glanced at Rosalie. "Do it," he whispered.

Rosalie started to cut into Bella's stomach, the sound of her flesh splitting was sickening. Bella let out a piercing scream, the sweat glistening on her face. I watched as Rosalie stopped as blood poured out from Bella's cut skin. She looked at her hand covered in Bella's blood and before I knew it, I launched myself at her, pinning her hand to the wall. "No, don't!" I yelled. She struggled against me. I knocked the scalpel out of her hand and pressed my full bodyweight against hers.

"Get her out of here," Jacob ordered me, rushing over to Edward. I wrapped an arm around Rosalie's waist and all but dragged her out of the room. "You have to get it out right now!"

"I…I can't," Edward's hesitation was the last thing I heard when I left the room. Rosalie fought me hard, but I managed to get her to calm down. I led her to the bathroom to wash the blood off of her hand. Emmett followed close behind, watching my carefully.

I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, I'm not the one you should be worried about."

"I don't trust you," he countered.

I smirked as I wiped the blood from her fingertips. "Normally, I'd say that's fair, but I'm probably one of the only people you can trust right now."

Rosalie focused on her deep breathing. "The baby…" she whispered.

"The baby will be fine," I reassured. I grabbed a white hand towel from the ring and dried her hands. "Emmett, get her somewhere so she can calm down."

Emmett guided Rosalie by her waist into another part of the house. She was still muttering about the baby and he was doing his best to comfort her. My ears perked as Bella continued to scream in distress. I leaned against the bathroom counter and took a deep breath, my eyes closing. A tear escaped my eye as I clenched my hands to get them to stop shaking. Except they weren't shaking in anger, but in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of not knowing what the fuck was next. Then all of a sudden, the screaming ceased. I speed walked back into the 'hospital' room to see Edward holding this teeny tiny baby covered in blood. It didn't cry. He smiled and looked at Bella, saying something that didn't sound like English.

Jacob wiped his forehead with his forearm, his hands coated in bright red blood. His face was hard as he paced for a bit. Everything just seemed to be moving in slow motion. I looked at Bella and watched as her eyes fluttered and drifted. "Jacob," I called as I listened to every single sound in the room, one noticeably getting softer. "Jacob, her heart. It's slowing down."

"Shit," he cursed, rushing to her side. He started chest compressions as he growled, "Come on, Bells. Stay awake. Come on, Bella. Please."

Edward handed me the baby before snatched another giant syringe off of the tray table and ordered Jacob to move. He held it high above his head—with his one hand—before plunging it into her heart. He told Jacob to pump her chest again and then tugged at his hair as nothing changed. "Why isn't it working?" Edward asked.

"Can it even work that fast?" Jacob grunted, still pushing on her chest. Edward leaned down and started biting her legs, her arms, up and down her torso as Jacob continued to work her chest. Her body jerked with each pump, nothing changing. "What do we do?"

Edward buckled to his knees, "I don't know."

I looked down at this child in my arms, all covered in blood, and felt as another tear threated to fall from my eyes. It was a girl. I walked over to the sink to rinse her off, mindlessly humming and cooing as I did. Her eyes were open and aware, looking around the room. Once she was clean, I grabbed a towel and swaddled her up as tight as I could. As I turned around, I watched as Jacob kicked the tray table away in frustration. It hit the wall with a clank before landing on the floor. Jacob blurred over to Edward and grabbed him by his shirt, slamming him against a door. "If she dies, I'm coming after all of you."

"She'll turn. I-I-I know it," Edward stuttered. "She can't be dead. She just can't be…" Jacob released Edward and watched as he slumped to the ground. He glanced over at Bella's motionless body and shook his head. I'd only seen one dead person in real life before and that was my father. But my dad looked more peaceful than the gruesome scene in front of me. The lower half of her body was exposed, her bulging belly haphazardly sewn up. She was lying in a pool of her own blood, every inch of her body covered in bites. Her eyes were open, trained on the spot where Jacob had been standing just a few minutes prior. I felt like I was standing in the middle of a murder scene. "I can't be in here anymore…" Edward said as he walked out of the room.

I walked over to Bella's body and gently closed her eyes, holding the baby close to my body. Jacob and I followed Edward into the open living room where Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper were all lingering, awaiting any kind of answer. The daylight shone through the floor to ceiling windows. Edward sat in an open chair with his head in his hand and mumbled under his breath. The baby cooed in my arms as I gently rocked her. She never cried. And no one reached to hold her. She was a beautiful little baby. She had a round face and a little button nose. Her small tufts of dark brown hair were matted on her head from being cleaned. Her brown eyes stared up at me, curiously. How could anyone think that she could be dangerous? Edward looked up at the baby and said that thing he said earlier, a small mirthless laugh escaping him. It wasn't fucking English.

"Wait, what?" Jacob asked, looking at Edward in ridicule.

"Ren-ez-may," he repeated.

"Ren—what?" I asked.

"Renesmee," Edward emphasized. "It's beautiful. It's Renee and Esme combined. And then…Carlie, for Charlie and Carlisle. Renesmee Carlie Cullen."

"That's a stupid name," I said bluntly. "You couldn't have just named her Carlie?"

"It's a beautiful name," Rosalie snapped at me. She held her hands out for the baby—I'm sorry…for Renesmee. "Here, give her to me, dog."

"You should be thanking us for helping you since you couldn't keep it the fuck together, Blondie," Jacob growled. Tension was high. Emmett stepped in front Rosalie protectively, as if Jacob was going to pounce on her. "Remember, I delivered that baby, not you."

I rushed to Jacob and put a hand on his chest. "Stop," I told him. He glanced at the baby in Rosalie's arms and shook his head, snorting a little. I turned to Alice who was leaning in the doorway, a pensive look on her face. "How long until she turns?"

"If she turns," Jacob interjected, resentfully.

Alice cringed before standing up straight. "Depending on how soon the venom was injected into her system…2, maybe 3 days."

I nodded before turning to Edward. "When she does turn, I want you both gone," I finally said out loud. Edward had been listening to me think it over and over again since last night. His black as coal eyes met mine and they didn't look surprised. They looked utterly devasted. "You and Bella. I want you to leave Forks. Honestly…" I glanced at the baby again who was watching me and Jacob, curiously. "She deserves better than both of you."

"I know…" Edward hung his head. I looked at Jacob who was staring Rosalie holding the baby. Now that Renesmee was here, Rosalie was acting as if absolutely nothing was wrong. She was singing and rocking the baby as if she was actually the baby's mother; it was creepy. Renesmee's tiny head turned and met Jacob's eyes directly. He twisted his face and shook his head again before staring at the ground. Edward rose to stand in front of us. "Thank you both…really."

"You didn't deserve it," I said, pursing my lips.

"Yes, I know. But…this could have been a disaster. Because of you both, Renesmee is alive and safe."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I still want you gone. This is the last thing we will do for you," I spoke definitely.

"Come on, Lee. Let's go. We're done here," Jacob placed a hand on my hip and led me to the front door. I looked back again to see all of the Cullens crowding around Rosalie as she held the baby. I hoped they were happy. As much as I didn't trust them, I knew that she would be safe with them. That didn't change how I felt though; I wanted Edward and Bella to leave Forks. Hell, I wanted them to leave Washington. I closed the door behind me, their voices fading the further we walked.

Jacob didn't speak for a long time. He walked a good five paces in front of me, his strides long and determined. I followed behind him, my body completely drained of energy. He tore off his black t shirt and threw it on the ground. I picked it up and draped it over my forearm. Then he dropped his gym shorts, stepping out of them and never breaking stride. "Jacob," I called. He didn't stop.

"Go home," was all he said.

"Jacob!" I tried again, jogging up to him. I yanked his arm so he could face me. "Where are you going?"

"I just need to run, ok?" He looked spooked. "That was…" he stopped and just shook his head. "Just go home."

"No," I said.

"Leah," he scolded.

"No, absolutely not." I stood my ground. "We don't have to talk, but if you're running, I'm running."

He fixed his mouth to argue with me. I could tell he really wanted to. Jacob had just experienced something that he completely wasn't prepared for. Not only did he watch his best friend die, but he had to be the one to help deliver her baby. It was a shitty situation for him to be in. All Jacob ever wants is for everyone around him to be happy and taken care of. The fact that he didn't have control over that kills him and I can't do anything except be there for him.

His eyes softened as he sighed and dropped his head. I pulled him into me as he started to cry. I gently ran my fingernails up and down his back, whispering in his ear that I had him and that everything would be ok. He crumbled a little, leaning his bodyweight on mine. "You did so good, baby," I whispered, kissing his cheek over and over again. "It's ok. It's going to be fine."

"I…" he started before letting out a shaky breath. "I wasn't ready."

"I know…I know," I assured him. I reached my hand up to scratch his head. I rocked his body in my arms as he cried. This was a first. I'd never seen Jacob cry before. Even after his own near-death experience, he didn't cry. He actually moved on quite quickly from it. Even after his mom died, he didn't cry; at least, not in front of me. But this was different and we both knew it. Bella's death or her change was going to change the dynamic of a lot of things. Poor Charlie would have to grieve the loss of a child because there was no way he'd be able to be around her if she changes. He'd also never get to meet his grandchild. And what about my mother? Either I'd have to lie to her about Bella or she'd have to lie to Charlie for the rest of their lives. It was just causing way more trouble than it was worth.

Jacob was reduced to sniffles after 15 long minutes of me holding him up. I rubbed and patted his back, still kissing every part of him I could reach. I brought my hands to his chest and pushed until he was looking into my eyes. I nodded at him, "Come on, let's run."

XXXXXXXXX

"I delivered her baby," he mumbled for the hundredth time. We checked into some little motel room somewhere in Canada since we had run faster and longer than we intended. I sat on the bed in an itchy towel, my wet hair dripping down my back. "I delivered her baby."

"You were the bravest I've ever seen you," I said, adjusting my towel. He was sitting on the other side of the bed, staring out the window. The aching in my legs was slowly subsiding from the run. "I called Sam to let him know the baby was born and Bella is in transition. He's going to let everyone know."

Jacob didn't say anything. I hummed as I took the towel from my body and wrapped it around my head. I pulled on Jacob's t-shirt over my head, his scent surrounding me. "Are you hungry?" I asked. No response. Sighing, I walked around to the other side of the bed and crouched down in front of him. "Jake."

He blinked and almost looked into my eyes. It felt like he was looking past me. "No, I'm not hungry."

"Do you want to take a shower?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No."

"You wanna just go to bed?"

"Yes please," he sounded like a little boy.

I held his face in my hands and stroked his cheek. His bloodshot eyes were tired and distant. I had gotten him cleaned up as much as I could when we first got to the motel, but there was only so much I could do. A sad smile graced my lips before I pressed them against his forehead. "Ok, baby, let's get in the bed."

I pulled him to stand before tugging the sketchy duvet cover off of the bed and letting it drop to the floor. I patted the middle of the bed and watched as he mindlessly climbed into it, snuggling himself in between the sheets. I shut off the light before climbing in with him. "Lee?"

"Yes, honey?" I said, adjusting my pillows. Just as I was moving to lie down, Jacob swiftly wrapped his arms around my torso and pulled me to his chest.

He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath in. "Please don't ever leave me like that," he whispered. "I love you so much, Aileah. Please, please don't ever leave me."

I tried to relax myself against him, but his muscular arms were wound too tight around my body. I pressed my face in his chest, breathing him in before pecking my lips right over where his heart was. "I'm not going anywhere," I soothed him.

Slowly, but surely, I felt him start to rest himself. His mind wall dissipated, and I was flooded with images of what happened. I saw Edward telling Jacob he had to deliver the baby; he said that he couldn't stand the thought of putting Bella in more pain. I watched as Jacob cut Bella open from her belly button to the top of her groin. I could hear every scream; his panic was overwhelming as he tried to figure out how to actually get the baby out of her. Real Jacob started to cry again, silently. And I understood. It didn't have anything to do with Bella and everything to do with the fact that he felt like he was the reason her heart stopped beating. Every once and a while, he'd replace her face with mine and make himself even more upset than before.

I let him cry. Adjusting myself until I could hold him, I just let Jacob cry. My almighty Alpha. I pressed my forehead to his and filled his mind with light thoughts. I showed him beach day and hanging out at Kaya's house with the boys. I wanted him to see all of us laughing at Quil as he jumped on the coffee table and gyrated his hips after winning again at Mortal Kombat. I showed him images of all of us at Sunday brunch and pack dinners. I even showed him that one time that Bianca convinced me to do the Mean Girls dance with her when we forced the boys to watch it one movie night. Jacob's tears slowed as I let his mind see us dancing on our first date and us making love on a pile of yellow rose petals. I showed him the two of us as kids jumping into the kiddie pool full of soapy water after we got done playing in the mud.

Then I shifted my thoughts to the future. Everything he showed me from his vision. Us saying "I do". Us waking up on Sunday morning and watching our kids run into the room to lay in bed with us. Us. Together. Happy. It was possible. I fully believed that it was possible for us to move on from this and lead that happy life we'd been shown. This wasn't the end of the world. It was just the beginning.

His breathing evened out as he fell asleep, somewhat content. I let out a huge sigh of relief before turning myself over and closing my eyes. "I love you, Lee," he breathed.

"I love you too."

Of course, Jacob being in a completely fluster was enough to keep me up all night. Every hour, on the hour, I'd wake up to check on him. At some point, he had wrapped his arms around my torso and buried his face in my back. I didn't know how he could breathe like that, but if that's what he needed to go to sleep, then fine. I stared at the dark wall in front of me and listened to Jacob's breathing. Channeling my energy, I projected as hard as I could. Kaya?

She answered instantly, Yes, little wolf?

Are you awake?

Always for you, she said. How are you doing out there? I saw what happened.

It was horrible. And he's so distraught; he's just been crying his eyes out and he can't seem to get his mind to slow down. I don't know what else I can do for him right now, I said.

You're his mate, Leah. The only thing you can do is be by his side. He needs you to be his strength, Leah. The best thing for you to do right now is to pick up what's too heavy for him right now.

I felt the lump in my throat form again. Hearing Kaya's voice was soothing to me; I felt like she was the only person that understood what I was feeling. Everyone always expects for the Alpha Male to be the strongest, the most unbreakable. It was easy to think that when you're not directly in the line of fire. What Jacob did was brave, but he wasn't being Jacob the Alpha Man. He's still human and he was only 21 years old. I didn't know if I knew how to help him, really. Ok, what do I need to do right now then? I asked Kaya.

Get some rest tonight. In the morning, take him to breakfast and then you can slowly make your way back home. Don't rush him. Just let him take things at his own pace.

Jacob snuggled me closer, placing a delicate kiss on the back of my neck. "My Leah…" he mumbled before pressing his forehead between my shoulder blades again.

He needs you, Leah, Kaya added softly. I nodded as if she could see me. Good night, little wolf.

Goodnight, Kaya…and thank you.

I swallowed the lump in my throat before standing up to go to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, I tried my best to steady my breathing. The broken faucet dripped as I started to cry. I covered my mouth as I felt a sob threatening to exit my body. When I squeezed my eyes shut, the tears just started flowing and my stomach started to turn. Every part of my body was trembling. But he needs me. I repeated that over and over again in my head. He needs me. I had to be strong for him.

The bathroom door creaked open. I wiped my face quickly before looking up at him. "Hey…" I sniffled. "What are you doing up?"

Jacob walked into the bathroom and fell to his knees in front of me. He pushed my hair from my face and tilted my chin up. "I do need you," he nodded. My heart broke. I fell forward into his arms, hiding my face in his neck.

"I'm supposed to be strong for you," my voice muffled. "You're not supposed to see me like this."

His guilt rushed over me. "Lee," he tried to hold me out at arm's length. "Look at me, Leah." I shook my head, breathing in his scent. He sighed before sliding his hands until they hooked under my knees. As he stood, he wrapped my legs around his waist to carry me back to the bed. My arms constricted around his neck as I continued to try to calm down. "Just breathe with me, baby."

He took a deep breath with me. In and out. And again. In…and out. He rubbed his hand up and down my back as he trained my breathing. "What you did was so brave," I started, my chin resting on his shoulder. "And I understand everything you're feeling right now is scary and I know that I'm supposed to be your support because we're a team and this has way more of an effect on you than it does me, but I'm just feeling a lot of things and I—"

"Leah," he stopped me. "You're allowed to be upset, baby. No one said you were supposed to be hard as stone."

I lifted myself until our eyes met. He still looked tired and empty. "I feel everything you feel," I whispered.

"I know. I feel everything you feel too, Lee."

"I mean…I understand how much you crave for everything to be harmonious and idyllic. I get it. So that means that I feel how much it crushes you when that doesn't happen. All I want is to be able to fix that for you." I cupped his cheek. "You were the one that told me that our hearts beat on the same rhythm and I listen to it every day. Our hearts beat with love and happiness and…I want to be the one to protect that in you. No matter what. And I can't do that if I'm throwing a fit in the bathroom."

"So, who's supposed to take care of you then, Leah?" he asked. "You can't save the world and then not take care of yourself. What do you want right now?"

"I want you to be alri—"

"What do you want? Right this second."

My lips parted as I thought about his question. What did I want? Other than for everyone I know and love to be safe. I needed them to be happy. But that didn't have anything to do with what I actually wanted. What I wanted, I already had. I had great love and a wonderful person to walk through life with. So maybe it was partially selfish that I protected him so much; I needed to protect him because that was kind of my way of protecting myself. "What I want…" I spoke softly. "I want to feel you on me right now. I need to be closer to you. Because—" I felt my breath shortening again, "—I feel like my chest is going to burst."

Jacob told me to focus on him and breathe as he adjusted us until I was lying on my back on the bed. My eyes never left him as he planted kisses all over my face. He wiped away a stray tear that fell from my eye before he hesitantly kissed my lips. "Is that ok?" he asked. I nodded, reaching for him. He ducked his head again until our mouths connected. His hands slid down my body until they rested on my hips, so delicately it almost felt like he was afraid to touch me.

I pulled him until he was lying on top of me. His weight was enough to make me feel like I wasn't being crushed by my own fears and thoughts. I needed his warmth more than I needed air. "More…I need more, Jacob," I whispered against his lips. He broke away from me and I saw the concern cross his face.

"Lee…do you really want me to make love to you like this?" He kept wiping my face which was wet with tears. He started to move off of me when I grabbed his arm to stop him.

"I need it…" I said. "Don't we both need it?"

I don't think there's anything more comforting than connecting with another person. And as he made love to me that night, I was reminded of how much I needed him. It was desperate…slow…intense. Everything that we had been trying to anticipate regarding this whole Bella thing was coming to a head and it could either smooth itself out or it could punch us right in the face. If we only had tonight, then it should count for something. Not another second would I spend running away from this man who completed me wholeheartedly. I was tired of dealing with things on my own. I needed him. He was the calm to my storm.

As he pushed inside me over and over, Jacob just kept muttering "I love you" into my neck, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses on and around my mark. There were moments where it still felt like he couldn't get close enough to me. He entwined our hands above my head as my back arched toward him. "I love you so much, Leah," he whispered as his nose brushed against my mark. I felt his hot breath on my shoulder as he opened his mouth and, in the gentlest way he could, sank his teeth back into it. Gasping, my eyes rolled back as I felt myself climax. His rhythm was knocked off kilter as he came with me, kissing my mark again before kissing up my neck, my cheek, and finally my lips.

When he rolled off of me, he wrapped an arm around me so I could lie on his chest. We were both quiet. All of our tears had dried up. I didn't bother putting up my wall because I was a little too tired to keep that up. The mind wall was something we used under the guise of giving each other relief from the voices. Most of the time, it felt like more. It felt like I was using it to hide any kind of insecurity or snarky thought that often passed through my mind. I was tired. I was tired of hiding. It was time to be honest about everything.

I was still terrified every single day about being an Alpha and I felt like what happened at the Cullens was just another example as to why I was completely justified in being afraid. It's easy to take things as they come, but what about after? What about those moments after when you have to be alone with your own thoughts about the things you go through? Kaya still goes through it; I've watched her falter because it still hits her at random times. And the crazy thing is, I was just a bystander in the birth; Jacob physically delivered her baby because Edward was too much of a gutless puss—

"Please stop thinking about that," Jacob's husky voice interrupted my thoughts as he twiddled the ring on my necklace with his hand. "Show me our future again."

XXXXXXXXX

…did you all catch that part where Jacob didn't imprint? I hope so lol I've wanted to respond to all the comments and say that Jacob imprinting on the baby was never going to happen, but that would be a spoiler and we're not here for those. Here at Bonded, we don't imprint on babies because that's fucking creepy and weird. And because Blackwater. Duh.

Also…I might rewrite this chapter. I haven't decided yet.