Chapter 15

Of all the offices I have ever had the displeasure of being in, this one made me the most uncomfortable. It had pale walls with a small photo of a serene mountain scene across from what has got to be the world's smallest windows. I could see that the room was designed so that no one would have room to attack the therapist or escape. Hard to maneuver. Claustrophobic almost.

A desk sat next to the door, a small man looking over at me as I stood with Solomon in the doorway, unwilling to take another step forward. He looked at me calmly. He seemed willing to wait for me all day to enter if necessary. Solomon, however, did not have all day.

"It will be good for you Cammie." I could tell he was serious because he never called me Cammie. "I trust Hank, he will help."

With that he gave me a not so gentle shove and closed the door behind him. I hesitantly made my way over to the chair that was waiting for me and lowered myself down. I eyed this Hank suspiciously.

"So you must be Hank" I said plainly, cautiously.

"So you must be Cammie" He replied with a small smile. "I've been looking forward to your visit. You've managed to cause quite a stir here at Blackthorne, much like your father."

"You knew my father?" I asked hesitantly.

"Knew him? I studied with him, looked up to him. He was like a brother to me, to all of us. He is just like you. Wreaking havoc wherever he went, kicking up dust. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I was there when your parents got married, beautiful wedding. We all knew that their union would last." He looked wistfully towards me, as if remembering happier face took on a stormier look. "I was one of the first to volunteer to go and look for him when he went missing."

"Thank you." I said sincerely. If Solomon trusted him and he was telling the truth about my father, maybe he could really help. "How did you end up here as a therapist?"

"I saw a lot of good men with bad endings because they weren't able to talk about the things they had seen. Work through them. I fight for those who need a friend. You'd be surprised what just talking about things can do for you. Getting it out into the universe. I know you've been through a lot Cammie, I'd love to listen if you have anything to talk about."

He looked at me patiently. Hopefully. He was showing me that this session was in my control, I was the one who would decide if and what we talked about. I hesitated slightly. What was I even supposed to start with? How much was I allowed to share?

"Well...I don't know." I squirmed a little uncomfortably.

"How about this? I have a few card games, your father used to beat everyone in the school and make a pretty penny doing it too. I assume he's taught you some of the easier games, what do you say we play a few rounds of cards. Winner gets to pick a question and loser has to answer honestly. Sound okay to you?"

I nodded once and narrowed my eyes sharply. Not only did my father teach me his card games, he taught me how to win. I was feeling pretty confident in my abilities in the moment.

Our first hand ended with me as the winner. Easy almost.

"How long have you worked here at Blackthorne?" I asked him quickly as he dealt a new hand.

"A few years, I only recently completed my certification." He answered casually.

I won the next hand as well. And the next. And the next. I asked about family, his experiences as a student at blackthorne and his favorite snack foods.

Our fifth round he took me by surprise and managed to win himself a round last minute. I looked at him wide eyed.

"How has your experience here at Blackthorne been so far, specifically with the students?" He asked sympathetically. I could tell he already knew the answer but wanted me to tell him in my own words. I mindlessly began dealing out the next hand while I pondered my answer.

"It's been...interesting to say the least. Never a dull moment." I replied vaguely. He eyed me a little bit more and I opened up just a bit more. "I never thought I would say this but these boys are more drama than my entire, all female school."

His eyes sparkled with a touch of humor as he let out a small chuckle of agreement.

"Teenage boys are quite a handful." He nodded carefully to let me know it was okay to continue.

I took a shuddering deep breath before I made a snap decision and just let my mouth open and the words poured out.

"I mean it has kinda sucked, seeing all my friends get hurt, getting hurt, all this drama with trying to find and keep up a boyfriend and then things are finally official with Zach and all the sudden no one is supporting your relationship and you're starting to question it all yourself and you just keep waiting for the perfect moment for everything to clear up so you know if you made the right decision or not and I just keep trying to do what's best but it just seems like no matter what I choose or what I decide I'm wrong and I just want it all to be okay and make sense and I just can't...do anything right"

Word vomit just spilled out of my mouth and it seemed like once it started I just couldn't make it stop. I stared breathlessly at Hank who, luckily, didn't look at me like I was crazy.

"That's a lot for one person to take on Cammie. It's understandable that you're under stress. No one faults you for having feelings, what you feel is completely valid. You're doing great kiddo, just keep doing what you think is best and eventually things will come together. The truth of the matter will always come out.

"Why don't we try this, for this next few days I want you to pick just one thing that you want to do "right" as you call it. Just one little thing that you're going to work on. Sometimes we give ourselves such a huge list of impossible tasks and then feel hopeless when we can't complete them. Does that sound okay with you?"

I looked back at him intently. "Do I have to tell you the one thing?"

"You don't have to tell anyone Cammie, this is for you and you alone. If you wish to share that with me, I would be happy to hear it and listen but it is completely up to you. You don't have to share it with anyone."

I nodded at him. I would pick one.

"Perfect. One step at a time Cammie, that's how we bring about change. Is there anything I can do for you Cammie?" He asked sincerely. I was surprised by the genuine look on his face.

"Oh, um...I don't think so. Thank you though." I replied slowly.

"If you ever need anything Cammie, my door is always open to you. Just ask away." He said as he stood to open the door. "I'm here to help you."

I believed him.

You would think the change of agreement with Zach, Grant and I would make it all easier, it did not. Every time I woke from a nightmare to find Zach gripping me, I would've sworn it was his father. His father, who he didn't know was alive. How could I convince Grant to cancel this...this...deal with his friend? I shouldn't have even known that the General was Zach's father but it was so obvious. Zach may have his mother's eyes but other than that he is an exact replica of his father. I couldn't bear to tell him the truth. I didn't want him to know. Either of them. Anyone. His dark brown hair, his build, even his cocky little smile.

Since the return of the nightmares, it seemed to be all that I could think about. It was so easy at the beginning of the semester, what had changed? Why did he suddenly set me on edge?

Jacoby could see the resemblance too, I could tell. He never said it out loud, maybe hoping I wouldn't catch on and that Zach and I could go on happily together. It was a nice thought. Maybe when the nightmares ended. If they ended.

It was so easy when the nightmares weren't there. With the nightly reminders that I was holding more secrets from Zach, it all became a little harder.

During the day, it was so easy. His touches so simple, the glances he gave me made a blush emerge immediately on my cheeks, like the school girl I was. He captured me between classes to kiss my cheeks, snuck notes in my backpack. It was...effortlessly perfect. As perfect as it could get, but as soon as the sun went down and the lights went out, I was back under lock and key at the academy.

The more he was around, the more the nightmares came. Bex was the first to notice.

Worried looks before we went to bed at night, curious glances in the morning, until one day she was done sneaking around and just addressed me directly.

"Alright Cam, enough. How much have you slept in this past week?" She asked as we awoke that Thursday morning.

I looked at her carefully measuring her stance. Hand on hip, hip cocked, eyebrow raised. Abby posture. I was in trouble for sure.

"I'm okay Bex." I stated carefully as I stretched my arms well above my head.

"That wasn't the question." She stated stalking a little closer to my bed.

"Do I seem that tired?" I mused aloud.

"Cammie, we're just worried about you. We can tell you aren't sleeping well. Grant caught you falling asleep in class the other day." Bex replied sitting softly at the foot of my bed.

My cheeks colored. I knew very well what incident they were talking about. A boring lecture in class and a tired Cammie was never a good combination.

"I'm sorry guys, I don't...I don't know how to fix it." I admitted.

"Cam maybe it's time you talked to Zach about it." Bex said quietly. "I know he's trying to help but he can't if he doesn't know about what happened."

"I...can't yet. I wouldn't even know where to start."

"Well just think about it. You never know. It might help."

"Bex...do you...know? About the general I mean?" I eyed her carefully.

"Yeah...I think Macey and Liz do too. You should tell him."

"How on earth am I supposed to tell him that?" I couldn't begin to fathom how that would go over.

"Jacoby goes home Saturday." She reminded me.

"I know." I bit out bitterly. "I'll talk about it with Hank tomorrow. Maybe he'll have an idea for me."

I had decided the thing I was going to work on this week would be accepting help from those who offered it. That included Zach. So far it was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Baby steps.

We hurried down to breakfast where Zach, Grant, and Jacoby were waiting for us.

"Hey Cam. How'd you sleep?" Zach asked while pulling me under his arm.

"Fine. I didn't have any nightmares last night." I gave him a small smile while Jacoby eyed me skeptically.

"It looks like things are getting better." Jacoby said a little too sunnily.

"Yeah. Just in time too." Zach replied looking a little relieved.

"You gonna be sad to see me go?" Jacoby asked me teasingly.

"You? Never. It'll be a relief to get rid of your ugly mug." I teased back.

"Don't hate me because I am beautiful!" He rubbed his cheek and made a face.

Giggles rang out around me as I was finally deposited at my table where Gallagher girls awaited me.

"Ladies." Zach greeted respectfully.

"Zachary." Mick replied coolly. "Glad to see you're still around."

"I aim to please."

"Well would you mind doing it back at your table? We have something we need to discuss Gallagher girls only." Eva quickly shot in.

"I'll see you in class Cam." Zach told me with a quick roll of his eyes. He pecked my cheek and was gone.

"Tina may have stumbled across something that explains why Grant was taking away from your family." Courtney informed me quietly.

"Tina if this is a joke or some kind of prank you think is funny-"

"I would NEVER lie about something like this." Bex's growling was cut off by the Gallagher Girl in question. "Look, I was with Andrew just walking around the other day and he told me something...we shouldn't talk about this here."

"You can't just expect me to mull over this all day without knowing what it is." I stated frankly.

"Well we have class in like 7 minutes so unless you can think of a way to get us out of it." Tina said snarkily.

"How do you feel about heights?"

"This is so not what I thought you had in mind." Tina gripped the pole tightly as we maneuvered in the ceiling above the school.

"Well this is the easiest way to get us out of class." It had taken me one shot to shoot Tina's headband up into the light fixtures above our heads and only a few seconds before the teachers noticed what I had done and instructed me to go and get it back.

So here we were, in the crawl space above the dining hall inching our way towards the light where aforementioned headband dangled precariously.

"Okay Tina, what did you find out." I whispered as I moved as slowly as possible.

"Well...have you heard of the COC?" I froze where I crawled.

"A better question is how did you hear about it?" I questioned.

"Andrew was telling me about it. Apparently they do most of their recruiting from Blackthorne and Gallagher. I haven't ever been approached, your mom I guess got good at weeding out the bad eggs and preventing infiltrations in Gallagher. Andrew said he was first approached about it when he was 8 years old Cam."

"Same age as Grant and me when he disappeared." I said thoughtfully. "Do you think the COC took him from us?"

"I think it's a possibility. Took him, wiped his memories, raised him to be their own."

"You're not seriously suggesting that Grant is a member of the COC?" I looked at her incredulously.

"I don't know Cam...I'm just saying it's a possibility. From what Andrew said they don't take rejection lightly...it would make sense. They knew that your parents would never stand for it, they would figure it out mighty quick what he was up to if he had accepted the deal especially as an 8 year old. Easier to just take him out of the picture, form the kind of kid they needed, then miraculously present him back to your parents when the time was right. Then they would have a man on the inside able to get them anything they needed."

I hated to admit it, but it made sense. It would be perfect. But at the same time I couldn't believe that Grant would ever be involved with such a terrible group. He was too...sunny.

"It couldn't hurt to ask him about it." I concluded finally.

"Just be careful Cam...if he is involved and he knows you're onto him, it could be dangerous."