Author's Note: My goodness, you have all been waiting a very long time for this update. I must admit this version has been the most difficult to write because it involved so much research, plus I have to fill in so many hours without battle scenes or any other perspectives on what is happening. It's been a challenge, and I love it, but unfortunately it has meant making you wait.
If you read my author's notes in any of my other stories, you're probably aware that we moved from SC to ME a few months ago, then stayed with family for a short time. We are now in our own place, have working internet, and I am using a (second-hand, but new to me) working laptop. With so much happening a lot of my stories didn't get updated for a very long time. But, I am back and writing like a crazy woman again. So, happy reading!
Acknowledgements: There is a song in this chapter called Smile, by Linda Ederson.
Alone Together
One Month
Alternate Story Line
October 13
Memories and Training
****Mamoru's POV***
It was barely light when Mamoru and Usagi woke up. The sun was just peeking over the horizon and sky was a maze of colors over the mostly grey light. Both of them made their way to the trenches, washed, and immediately returned to the comfort of the cave to start preparing their morning tea, and their breakfast. It wasn't long before they were sitting side by side on the futon, talking as they drank and finished off the remnants of yesterday's fish.
"How do you feel about being the princess?" Mamoru asked cautiously. "In my dreams you said over and over that you didn't want to remember."
Usagi shuddered. "I didn't. I still don't want to think about what happened that day, to be honest." She gave him a small smile as they cuddled together over their morning meal. "I know that we have to defeat Metalia, which means eventually we are going to have to face it, but for right now, I'd rather just enjoy being with you, as Mamoru and Usagi. Not as Serenity and Endymion."
Mamoru nodded. "I understand Usako, but I'm afraid we are going to need to face this, and probably sooner than we want to."
Usagi sighed and buried her face in his chest. She mumbled something he couldn't understand, so he tilted her head up to look in her eyes. They were shimmering with unshed tears.
"Nani?"
"You died. The girls died. The Shitennou were taken from us, tortured, and turned against their own wives..." her voice broke on a sob. "And now they've been captured and tortured again, and I know we have to save them, but I'm not ready," she cried. "I'm not strong enough Mamo-chan! I can't face them again until I know I can save them."
He held her tighter and rocked slightly from side to side. "You will be strong enough," he promised. "We can figure it out together. We'll work hard and we won't give up. The moon wand healed me. Maybe it can heal them."
"We need the Crystals. We need to find out where they are and go get them," Usagi pointed out, setting onto the floor as she took her hot chocolate into her hand. "I wish Ami was here," she added, sighing slightly. "With the Mercury computer I think she could help us locate them."
"While we're wishing," Mamoru said, "I wish we had a radio. I miss music."
Grinning, Usagi nudged him with her shoulder. "I do too. I thought about singing myself, but I didn't want to scare all the fish away." She was doing her best not to show just how worried she was about their circumstances, but now they had the Bond reforged, he could sense her emotions. Anxiety was the most prevalent.
"You have a pretty voice," he said.
"When have you heard me sing?" she asked, brows furrowed.
Mamoru laughed. "Don't think I'm weird," he prompted. He waited until she nodded to continue. "A couple of months ago you and Rei were arguing. You left the arcade crying, so I followed you. I didn't want you to know I was there, so I transformed into Tuxedo Kamen and went from tree to tree."
Usagi's mouth opened in a little 'o' of surprise and she stared at him, her eyes wide. He had to get it all out so he rushed on, trying to explain. You went to the place in the park I always go when I'm upset, and when you got there you leaned against the railing of that little bridge over the stream. You were still crying. I wasn't really sure what you were upset about, since I hadn't heard most of the argument. You looked so sad I almost jumped down to talk to you. And then you started to sing."
Mamoru remembered the day well. The breeze had played with the long silken streamers of her hair and lifted her bangs away from her heart shaped face. She'd started singing and his heart had melted listening to her. It was a song in English, one that he had never heard before. He'd looked it up later and it was now on his playlist, but the words she had sung haunted him.
"Smile, though your heart is aching..." he started. He stopped and looked at Usagi. She took a deep breath and began to sing.
"Smile, though your heart is aching;
Smile even though it's breaking.
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by.
If you smile through your fear and sorrow;
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying;
Smile, what's the use of crying.
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile.
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile."
As Usagi sang, Mamoru rested his elbow on the table and closed his eyes, simply listening to the words, the way her voice sounded, and how the melody lifted his spirits, though there was so much that worried him. He had listened to a version that sounded much like hers, by an artist named Linda Ederson, and it had made him want to cry, that his little Odango had felt that she had to force herself to fight through the sadness and force a smile.
And yet, the song had a point. After many times hearing it, Mamoru had discovered that. No matter how bad he felt, if he wore a smile it did seem to help. When he had despaired of ever having Usagi in his life, as his own, he would put his headphones in and go to that bridge in the park. There, looking out over the water, he would try to smile and think that maybe someday she would be his. One day when there was no more dark kingdom, no more sadness and heartache filling the city of Tokyo as attack after attack harmed innocent people. One day when Tuxedo Kamen could hang up his cape and mask, put away his roses, and finally tell the girl he loved that he would die without her.
Something had always said that day would never come. But Mamoru smiled as Usagi finished her song, thinking that even though they were trapped, something good had come out of it. Even though they were doomed to fight what seemed to be an endless, unwinable war, he had Usagi in his life now. And Sailor Moon to fight at his side. They could be partners in all things now. Partners in every way that counted. She was his equal and opposite, and she loved him.
"Thank you," he whispered after the last note had faded. He wrapped both arms around her, pulling her against his chest. "The first time I heard you sing that song it spoke to me. Every time I've heard it since, there was a new meaning. And this one is the best." He bent his head and took her lips, kissing fervently, passionately, as he tried to express all the love and devotion he had for her. His Usako.
"We were fighting about you," Usagi said when they parted. She let out a soft sigh and his heart ached for her. "She kept insisting that if I couldn't get along with you, I should just ignore you. I couldn't do that, and I couldn't tell her why. She said it proved I was childish and immature, and then she said you would never want me if I acted like a child. I hadn't told her, or any of them, I like you. It shocked and scared me. So I went to the park." Her voice was low as she spoke, and filled with emotion. "I stood there, looking out at the tiny stream trying to bring life in the middle of a city. It always gave me hope before," she explained, "but right then I didn't see any hope. I was so sad, thinking that if only I wasn't Sailor Moon I could be with you."
"Usako," he breathed, kissing her more passionately. He had understood, intellectually, that she'd gone through the same fear he had, but to hear it spoken so plainly, and understand the emotion she had been expressing in the song she sang so beautifully brought home to him just how much pain they had shared, and how much joy they could have now.
Scooting back on the futon, he pulled Usagi up with him until they were laying on the bed, then rolled over and kissed her again. He kissed the corner of her mouth, the apple of her cheek, and the tiny, single tear she hadn't been able to hold back as she had spoken. He was overwhelmed, all over again, by how much he loved her. How much he wanted and needed her in his life, in his heart, and even in his bed.
Since they hadn't yet dressed for the day, Mamoru had access to every inch and began trailing kisses down her neck, over her chest between her breasts, and down to her concave stomach, which would swell with the life they had begun together. "I love you," he whispered, kissing further down. He got comfortable between her legs and spread her lower lips to feast on her.
Mamoru loved the way she tasted, and the more aroused she became, the sweeter the taste grew. There was a hint of saltiness to her, and a whole lot of sweetness. Taking her already swollen clit between his lips, he suckled her as he pressed two of his fingers into her channel. This was the best way to start a morning. Grinning at her moans of pleasure, he scraped his teeth over the nub that held so many nerve endings, making her squeal. Her legs opened and closed rapidly, showing him her need was as great as his own.
When Usagi began tugging on Mamoru's hair, he almost gave in, almost moved up and dove into her, but he wanted to give her more. Turning his fingers inside her, he found the spongy place that made her go wild and pressed as he bit down. The walls convulsing around his fingers and the added wetness told him she had orgasmed, but when she screamed his name and it echoed on the cave walls, Mamoru nearly lost it himself. In his mind there was only one place his seed belonged, and that was in his Usako.
Becoming a bit more wild as his need over took him, Mamoru spread her legs wider as he made his way back up the bed, and without a word he plunged deep, sighing in relief. Both of them moved then, together and apart, thrusting their hips mindlessly as they grew closer and closer to the glorious culmination of their lovemaking.
"Mamo, harder," she panted, lifting her hips.
Driving harder than before, Mamoru slammed deep and pulled out quickly. His whole body was involved in each thrust, the muscles along his back, thighs, and hips clenching as he speared into her again and again. He reached down and stimulated her clit. Usagi screamed his name again, her body lifting off the futon and freezing, back arched, as she came. He drove in once, twice, again, and released into her.
"I love you Mamo-chan," Usagi said a few moments later.
Blinking his eyes open, he lifted his head to stare down at her. "I love you Usako." He rolled then, taking her with him so that she was laying over him, and closed his eyes again, resting and delighting in her heat still wrapped around him. He hated to pull out, but was forced to so they could both be more comfortable.
***Usagi's POV***
"Back to what I was saying," Usagi said, resting her arms on Mamoru's chest. He was playing with her hair with one hand, rubbing little circles into her back with the other. It was still early in the morning, and they had time to have this discussion. "We need to find the Crystals."
"Where would they be?" Mamoru asked, brow furrowed. "I don't want to put a damper on your quest, but we're sort of trapped right now."
Usagi couldn't help but giggle at his silliness. "We won't be here forever," she said softly. "We need to figure out where to start looking. I know the Dark Kingdom is after the Silver Crystal. Zoicite said something about it when he was in Tokyo before. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I think they're looking for the wrong thing." She smirked at that, being one up on the Negaverse was a good thing. "They think the Crystal Carriers have them."
"The Crystal Carriers?" Mamoru asked.
Usagi nodded, running her fingertips back and forth over the muscles of his chest. "There are seven of them. I didn't remember it when he spoke, and Luna and I hardly talked about it before our friends put us here. But the past few days have brought some of my memories back." She shuddered then, not really wanting to think about the end of her former life, but it was important. "Try to remember," she said softly. "The night of the attack against the Millennial Kingdom, there was a massive monster. My mother was fighting it, with her Senshi, and sent us to try and escape through one of the portals."
Mamoru swallowed and nodded, not speaking. She figured the memories were as hard for him as for her and gave him a moment before continuing. "My mother knew the monster was the result of a terrible thing done to seven humans. Their souls were ripped from their bodies and twisted with dark magic before being put back in. Those seven people turned into the strongest Youma anyone had ever faced. My mother planned to heal them as soon as we could capture them, but before that was done the attack came. Somehow, when those seven creatures met, they turned into one massive monster. My mother was terrified that we would be killed. She said we were the last hope for the solar system." Usagi shuddered. Mamoru wrapped both arms around her, holding tight.
"While we were facing our problems, my mother fought. And just as she was attempting to heal them, she felt me die. She wasn't able to finish it Mamo-chan. She locked the monsters away within seven stones, one for each of them, and sent the humans to be reborn, just as the rest of us were. But the monsters are still inside them. If the Negaverse thinks they have to join them to find the Silver Crystal, then the people of Tokyo have a problem." She sighed, knowing she would have to warn the girls. "But, it does give us an advantage."
"What advantage?" he asked, looking horrified at the prospect of a monster in the middle of their city.
"While they are preoccupied with the monster, we can find and retrieve the Silver Crystal, and hopefully the golden one too."
"How?"
"A while back Ami sat us girls down and told us that our DNA was changing. My Lunarian blood has been more and more pronounced. I am still half human, thankfully. But that Lunarian royal blood is like a tether to the Silver Crystal. I can search for it. Maybe even call it to me. I'm not sure. I think you should be able to do the same with the Golden Crystal."
Mamoru sat up, taking her with him. She didn't want to leave their cozy bed, but it was important to do what they could to find those Crystals. "Lets try it," he suggested. "I know we have a lot to do today, but maybe this will give us something to look forward to when we get back home."
Usagi nodded. "Right."
They moved to face each other, each crossing their legs as their hands met between them. They both closed their eyes and focused on the Crystal that resonated with them. His was the Golden Crystal. Hers was the Silver. She felt an echo of power well up inside her and warmth filled her chest. Usagi pulled her hand toward her chest. The heat grew as she felt the crystal form in her palm.
"It's right here," she whispered. "It's been here, inside me, all along."
"Mine too," Mamoru told her. "Starting this afternoon we are going to train with them, but for right now I want to try something."
Usagi waited patiently for him to explain.
"I was still in training when everything happened, but I remember reading a book. An ancient one. It spoke of linking the hearts and souls of two people in such a way that one couldn't be turned evil unless the other fell in exactly the same moment. I mean exactly. And since it is impossible for that to happen, it would protect the two people from being turned. Even if we got captured or something we would be safe from turning on our friends."
"Do you think we can manage it?" Usagi asked.
Mamoru nodded. "I think we have to try. We can practice on ourselves first. But I want it perfected when we come in contact with the Shitennou. We can heal them and link them with the girls, and then none of them can be turned evil ever again."
Usagi nodded emphatically. "Let's do it," she said, pulling her crystal from her chest.
He copied her and held his in his right hand and then covered her right hand and the Silver Crystal with his left palm. Linked together they concentrated on the magic of the Crystals. They found they were able to weave the light of them together, twining them to make it fully connected and unbreakable. They laid the first touch over his heart before moving it to hers. Next they sealed his soul, and then hers. Several times they linked back and forth to each other until they were certain it would last.
"I think we are the first to create a Soul-Link in thousands of years," Usagi said quietly when their work was done and their crystals hidden safely away again. Mamoru only nodded. He suddenly bent forward and took her mouth, pulling her into his lap.
"Again?" she asked, feeling his arousal. With a laugh he pressed her into the bed and showed her just how aroused she made him. They had time to take care of everything else later.
***Mamoru's POV***
Mamoru stared at the blinking light on the communicator in Usagi's hand. She looked like she would fall apart if he answered it, but they needed to know what was happening in Tokyo. Reaching out, he took it from her. "Do you want to hear it?" he asked.
Usagi was quiet for several long moments before she answered. "I don't want to, but I need to. I have to know if my family is safe, and Naru and Umino. What do you think they want?"
"I don't know," Mamoru admitted. He pulled her gently down onto the futon next to him and wrapped an arm around her. "Whatever happens, we can get through it together."
"Together," she murmured, so low he almost didn't hear.
He pressed the button. Makoto's face appeared on the screen. It was only her, and she looked tired and sad. Mamoru swallowed hard. He was terrified about what had been happening in his absence. At least Usagi was safely at his side, but in spite of his anger with Motoki, he loved him like a brother. All the Furuhata's really. They were like his second family. And he loved the girls too, like sisters he needed to protect.
"Hi guys," Makoto said, looking directly into the communicator. "A lot has been happening here in Tokyo. We've been fighting a new type of Youma. These ones replicate. Luna said you faced them before you found the rest of us. She knew something about them, but none of us had warning. We were almost all goners the other night. Until a couple new fighters suddenly appeared to help us. They call themselves Sun Knight and Blue Moon Knight. One is probably around thirteen, and looks too young to be fighting, but we weren't much older when Luna found all of us."
Usagi gasped and Mamoru clutched her hand. He knew who those fighters were too, now that they had their memories. Holding her tight, he focused on the screen, waiting to hear the rest.
"Ami isn't happy with us. She and Luna hold the meetings now, in the command center, and wont even come to the Jinja. Ami takes her new role as Naru's protector very seriously. She wanted you to know that because of your warnings to her, she was able to keep both Naru and Umino out of a very bad situation. The first replicating Youma we faced was a few nights ago at an outdoor theater. Someone had given them tickets to attend, but Naru went and asked Ami first, and she begged them not to go. Thankfully, they listened. Ami came to us and told us about the place, so we were there in time to stop the Youma from killing anyone, but it was a close call. We were seriously outnumbered until Sun Knight used an attack that hit them all at once. He really saved our butts. And he healed me from a really bad wound. He wanted me to tell you something."
Makoto swallowed hard and there was a long pause before she went on. "He wanted me to tell you he loves you and to stay safe. That he's looking for you." She shook her head. "I don't know who he is, or the other one, but they don't want anything to do with us, except Ami. Luna knows who they are somehow though, and says we can trust them." She frowned. "Who is he Usagi? He knows who you are. He said your name. Can we trust him? He's been at every attack since then, and there have been a few. Ami comes as well, and so does the young one."
Then she stopped talking for a long time and Mamoru could tell she was fighting not to cry. She continued and Mamoru was shocked at what she said. "I wish I had never gone along with this. I didn't know they wouldn't bring you back after you made up, and when I found out you got hurt Usagi, I..." she broke into sobs. "You're the first real friend I ever had, and I don't want to lose you. I love you. I want to see you again. I'm so sorry for what we did, so sorry I didn't listen to Ami and really think about the danger. I'm going to go and talk to her today. Rei says she can't use the communicator, so I can't take it to her, but if you want me to say anything to her, I will. I love you. Bye."
Usagi was crying silently in his arms. She reached out for the communicator and he handed it to her, watching as she pressed the button. "Mako, I forgive you," she said, "and I love you too. I'm alright now. See?" she showed the faint scars on her leg. They would probably always remain, a reminder of what they had endured, but Mamoru hardly noticed them except when he thought of how he had almost lost her.
"Mamo-chan got hurt yesterday, but I found out I can heal too, with the Moon Wand. Luna needs to know that. Yes, I do know who Sun Knight is, but if he doesn't want you to know yet, I have to respect that. I will just say that I trust both of them with my life, and yours. If you could tell Ami and Luna that I love and miss them and please ask Ami to give my love to my family, I would appreciate it. And please ask Naru not to do anything new until I come home. Tell her I will make it up to her."
"As for the replicating Youma, tell Ami that she should be looking for the one with the strongest energy signature. If you destroy that one, the rest will disappear. Also, have Luna research the Crystal Carriers. I think Zoicite is looking for them. There should be information in the command center, but it's important. He thinks they hold the key to the crystal. You have to find them before he does." She was silent for a moment.
"Rei, Minako, and Motoki..." Usagi paused and looked at Mamoru.
Taking the communicator back from her, Mamoru waited to be sure he was calm before he spoke. "From now on," he said, keeping his voice soft, "I would appreciate it if all of you would be very careful how you word things. Both of us are living through something none of you could possibly understand, and you are the cause of it. You have no right to judge us. And one day I hope you truly understand the pain and hurt you've caused. Because we love you, we do plan to forgive you all, but not until you realize that what you did was wrong. I am asking you one last time, please come back and get us. There are things you don't know, and we won't share here, that cause extra danger right now, especially for Usagi. It isn't safe to stay on this island, and to be frank, Tokyo is in danger without us."
He looked over at Usagi, who nodded and took the communicator again. "Rei, Mina, I don't know what set this plan in motion," she started. "I get the feeling you believe in your hearts that it is the right thing to do. But you are making a mistake keeping us here now. Please think about it." She pressed the red button to end the transmission and set the communicator on the table.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Hie. I think that took me by surprise. How did Shingo and Haruki learn who they were?"
"I don't know," Mamoru answered.
It was a lot to think about. Shingo had been Tsukiyomi in their former life. Blue Moon Knight and the Keeper of the Chronicles. Traditionally his role had been to keep the lists of life. He was the younger fighter. The other one was Haruki, who had been Lugh, a cousin in both lives. Lugh had been of the Sun, but a cousin through his mother who was the Moon Queen's sister, to Serenity and Tsukiyomi.
Usagi adored her cousin Haruki, who was of an age with Mamoru. He hardly knew anything about Haruki, except what he had heard second hand through Usagi, Motoki and Naru. But he knew the boy would stop at nothing to find them.
Still, the idea of using the raft to get home was getting more an more appealing. If they could get it built before November first, they wouldn't have to worry and wait. He set his mind to making and cutting as many bamboo poles as he could. He also needed to do some planting so they could keep up their strength. There was so much to get done every day that Mamoru wasn't sure how long it would take to build the raft in the first place. He wanted to get Usagi back to Tokyo, and to a doctor, as soon as he could.
Usagi, who was uncharacteristically quiet, turned her face up to look at him. "We need to get working," she said. "There's a lot to do." It looked as though their fun was over for the morning.
Together they made their way out of the cave, grabbing their make-shift fishing poles and the collapsible bucket. Usagi went to the shoreline and dug for clams. Mamoru untangled the fishing line and checked for weak spots. The last thing they wanted was to expend energy trying to catch the fish and have it break away at the last moment. He went back into the cave and grabbed the net as well. He had never used a fishing net before, but he was grateful Ami had sent it. Hopefully it would make things easier.
As they sat on the rocks, lines in the water, Mamoru considered everything they had to do that day. Firewood needed to be collected. Thankfully the driftwood that had washed ashore as a result of the storm was mostly dry now. There were meals to cook, fish to catch and plenty of work to make their lives a little easier, and to make their way home. It was a little overwhelming. He kept his eye on the love of his existence as much as he could, worried about how she was dealing with the message. She was far more quiet than normal.
"I really want to wash my hair tonight," she said.
Startled, Mamoru looked over at her. That had not been what he was expecting. "I bet you do. I want a real shower," he added. Then a thought occurred to him. "You could take a bath you know. You're small enough."
Usagi raised her eyebrow in question. "Nani? How?"
"We could empty out one of the bins and turn it into a tub. It might be a little tight but you're so small you would fit."
Giggling, Usagi seemed to think about if for a moment, then nodded her head. "If we have time."
Eventually they both hooked a fish. Then Mamoru waded out into the shallows with the net. He wasn't very hopeful, but within a few minutes, as he stood there, completely still, a fish that was larger than anything they had caught swam so close he felt it brush his thigh. Throwing the net down into the water he snagged it around the fish and tugged, closing the net so it couldn't escape.
He looked up at Usagi, who still had a line in the water, and crowed with delight. "I caught one!"
She quickly stood and made her way to him, as he walked through the water to the shore. The fish was heavier once they had it out of the water. "If you can debone this, and the other three," she said, pointing to a second fish she'd caught when he was busy with the net, "I can cut them into strips and cook them, get some put away for later and dry the rest."
Mamoru nodded. "Once I'm done I think I'm going to make some poles. We need to get started on that raft."
"We also need to cut some long grass," Usagi added, frowning. "And maybe grow some very watery fruits and vegetables."
***Usagi's POV***
Usagi thought about their last lives as she worked, as well as everything they were learning now. She had so many memories to sift through. As a Lunarian Royal, she would always be able to sense the Crystal, even use it without being near for some things. For instance, if she was in danger, the crystal could protect her without her trying to access it. The truth was, she'd had access to it all along. It had only been waiting for her to call it forth. She couldn't believe she had been so blind to it. It must have been the Crystal sending her the dreams about her past.
The two Crystals, when working in tandem, could do miraculous things. Each on its own was wonderful, but it was said that together they could create planets and destroy suns. Neither she or Mamoru would choose to do such a thing, but the ability was there. Her memories of training with the Crystal were complete, but the truth was her training had not been nearly finished. Neither had his.
The Crystals would not have passed to them until there was an heir for each. A person to take over the Crystals once they passed. A person related by blood. They'd been preparing to have children before the end, excited at the prospect of parenthood... until Metalia had come and turned poor Beryl. She, in turn, had created hordes of mindless people to follow her.
And then the Generals had been taken. Tortured. Turned against the ones they loved the most. They had each been sent to kill their own soulmate. When the deed was done, Metallia had lifted the mind control so they could see what they had done. Or perhaps it had been lifted by the tearing of their Soul-Bonds. She wasn't sure there would ever be an answer to which it truly was. None had survived their own grief. They had taken their own lives, partly in anguish, and if she thought about it, probably also so they wouldn't be turned on Endymion. Usagi shuddered at the thought.
And then Beryl, attempting to kill Serenity, had killed Endymion. At his death, and with the loss of everything and everyone she loved, Serenity had taken her own life. It wasn't something she wanted to think about. Her own death she could handle, his however... Usagi frowned. She wouldn't have that option if she lost him now. Not with a baby relying on her. A baby that was part of him and part of her.
Usagi's memories of her former life weren't always clear, but one moment stood out to her as she thought about going on without Mamoru. A moment when the queen had thought herself alone, not knowing her young daughter was hiding in her room to escape a bully, and had broken down sobbing, clutching at the necklace she wore, her last gift from her husband, who had died to defend the princess. Princess Serenity had leapt out of hiding then, and clung to her mother, begging her not to be sad.
That was when the Queen had sat her down and explained the one downside to a Soul-Bond. "Serenity," she had said, "when one half of your soul is in the other world, and the man you love is gone forever, all you can think of is being with him. I carry on because I must. I have you and Tsukiyomi to raise and a kingdom to run. My young children need me, and I made a promise to your father long ago that I would carry on for your sake, and the sake of the kingdom should he pass first. He made me the same promise. But it is very difficult to keep going, day after day, without him."
"Do you miss him that much?" Serenity had asked, surprised. The Queen always seemed so calm and in control.
"May I let you in on my little secret?" the queen asked.
"Yes mother," Serenity said, cuddling up against her, both giving and receiving comfort.
"Beside the door to the throne room, just under the sigil of our line, is a tiny carving. Your father made it once, when he was courting me. He knew I was afraid of speaking in public, so he told me that whenever I was afraid, or sad, or bored, I could look at that little carving and it would remind me that he loved me, and that he supported me. He said whenever I looked at it, to remember he was with me always." Tears had slipped down her cheeks as she spoke. "Whenever I am very sad and miss him so much I don't think I can go on, I look at that tiny carving in the wall. And I remember. I have to look at it dozens and dozens of times every day."
"I miss him too," the princess had admitted. "Sometimes I wish he hadn't saved me. Then he would still be here."
"But you, my darling daughter, would not," the queen had said. "And you are very special because he lives on in you. In many ways you are much like me," she added, "but when your mood changes suddenly, or when you get that stubborn look in your eyes, I see your father in you. He was of the sea. Mercurial at times. Like little Ami. He could be so very calm, and then when something truly angered him there was this icy rage that could end worlds. You must always remember, he is part of you, and at times you may hear his voice, showing you which way to go."
"But you're here mother," Serenity had said. "You can help me."
The queen nodded, but something had been obvious to Serenity that she'd never understood before. Her mother wasn't going to be there forever. In fact, if she guessed right, she intended to follow after her husband as soon as possible. The thought of the Moon without her mother was heartbreaking and she resolved to give her many reasons to stay alive.
Usagi sat back and wiped her cheeks. The memory had brought tears to her own eyes. She understood now. Having lived through Endymion's death, and fearing for Mamoru's life only the day before, she understood so much more than little teenaged Serenity had. The pain of your soul tearing in half was hard enough, but to live without it day by day, and the one who carried it... that was the worst torture she could imagine.
Usagi knew facing Beryl and Metalia was nowhere near as terrifying as loosing Mamoru.
Glancing up, she saw him near the other side of the field, working on another line of his plants. For now, he was safe, and that was what counted. She would just have to make sure he stayed that way. The small of her back ached. Collecting the long grasses was difficult work. She was tired and hot, and covered in sweat. She needed a break, and a swim. They still had much to do before they could stop for lunch, and after that they needed to get some studying done. They would have to wait to train until after dinner. It was far too hot already.
When she had piled the last of the bundles, Usagi made her way to Mamoru and began looking through the plants he had chosen to grow. The first was cucumbers, followed by celery. Usagi wanted a huge jar of peanut butter to spread over them, but said nothing. He also had tomatoes in several varieties. They looked delicious and Usagi snagged one and popped it into her mouth. It was sweet and juicy. She grinned happily as she munched it down. Mamoru raised and eyebrow at her, but Usagi simply smiled at him and took another.
Usagi saw green peppers next and wondered what she might be able to do with them. Would they work with fish? She had no idea, having never used them to cook before. She saw large, oval shaped fruits that were two colors of green, one much darker than the other. Watermelon. The last in the row was spinach. Usagi didn't mind it raw, but hated it boiled. She frowned, wondering what the flavor would be like if she wrapped it around fish like she did with seaweed.
"One more thing," Mamoru said, turning her. She looked where he was pointing and let out a squeal of delight.
"Strawberries!" A moment later her hands and face were sticky and red as she ate them quickly. They tasted so much better than the ones that had been left with them on their first day. They were small and sweet, a deep red, and perfectly ripe. "This is so yummy!" she announced around a mouthful.
Mamoru slapped his legs, laughing so hard he had to sit. "I wish I had a camera," he said between guffaws. "This is priceless. That's my Odango." Usagi sent him a mock glare, then popped a strawberry into her mouth.
When Mamoru's laughter finally subsided, he came over to where she was standing, making quick baskets out of long grass. "I'm also trying my hand at all the fruits we found on the island," he said. "And others that are high in water content, like oranges, plums, pears, and pineapples."
"Good," Usagi said, "the more we have the longer we can last. I figure we can fill two of the tubs with water and two with fruits and other foods. Though," she added, looking at where the sun stood high in the sky, "it might be better to store more water and just use parts of the parachute for bags and baskets. And shade," she added. "Are you ready to go back?"
Mamoru nodded. "It's too hot to keep going. Thankfully I seem to be getting better at this. Most of these are from memories of eating the fruits. I did a bit of research though," he added, holding up the book. "These are the fruits and vegetables that seem to hold the most water. The book Ami sent says that twenty to thirty percent of our daily water intake can come from food."
"That's a relief. Without a motor we have no idea how long it will take."
"Exactly," Mamoru agreed. "I'm concerned about messing with the weather too much."
***Mamoru's POV***
Mamoru smiled at Usagi. She was adorable with her face scrunched up and her eyes closed in concentration.
They're. There. Their.
The words were spelled out, written in the damp sand in English. Tutoring her was an enjoyable way to pass the time, and she had gotten much better at English, Math, and Kanji. She was also extremely interested in science, especially the natural sciences.
"They're means they are," Usagi said after a long pause, pointing to the first word. Her eyes were still closed. Then she opened them and looked down at the words. "Their means it belongs to them, right?"
Mamoru nodded.
"There is a place," Usagi said triumphantly.
Mamoru grinned and nodded. She was rather brilliant. "Perfect," he told her. "You've gotten so much better."
Usagi smiled up at him. "You've helped, and there's not much we can do when it gets hot like this."
"Still," Mamoru said frowning. "I wish there was a way to get more work done."
"There is, but most of it is sedentary work. We have to make bags and baskets, some sort of shelter for ourselves, the sails, and so much more. We're going to need to go back into the island a few more times I think. And we still haven't figured out how to add a chimney thing to the box for the oven."
Mamoru nodded. There were a lot of worries. He didn't want to wait seventeen more days for rescue, but he also worried about taking Usagi out into the open ocean. They needed to test any raft they made. He wasn't even sure exactly how to build it. There were a few examples in one of the books Ami had sent, but the pictures were small, and Mamoru wanted details. He wished he knew more about survival before they had come.
"I think dinner is almost done," Usagi said. "Lets go into the cave. I'm thirsty anyway."
Following her, Mamoru looked out over the ocean, and stopped in shock. A large ship was out there. He pointed it out. It was too far away to make out even what type of ship it was. They had decided already not to signal anyone, worried about who would be coming to their rescue, but part of him longed to light a signal fire.
"You promised," Usagi said quietly.
Mamoru groaned. He hadn't meant to broadcast his thoughts to her. "I won't," he said at length. "I just want to get you home."
"We can wait," she said, biting her lip.
Mamoru knew she was worried, but she was terrified of what sort of men might find them. It occurred to Mamoru that it was something she probably wouldn't have thought about before waking up on the island, naked, her virginity gone. It broke his heart that her innocent outlook of the world was forever tarnished. Putting an arm around her, Mamoru led her back to the safety of the cave, promising himself that he would find a way to make the others see what they had stolen from her.
They were both rather quiet for the rest of the evening, and Mamoru suggested they put off training until the next day. Usagi agreed and crawled into bed shortly after they ate, not touching her homework or any of her projects. Worried, Mamoru turned the lamps down and blew out the candles before climbing in next to her.
"It'll be okay," he said, holding her close under the blanket.
"I hope so," she answered softly. "I really hope so."
Mamoru watched the last of the light leave the sky through the smoke hole in the cave ceiling. As darkness descended, the stars appeared and he wished on the first one he saw that he would get the love of his life home safely.