A/N Deadshot is based on the character from the Justice League Animated Series (which is based on the predominant comics interpretation).

Standard disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Don't kill people.

Trigger warning: Passing mention of childhood rape (not graphically described).

Chapter 15

"Hey, Charlie, it's Harley," she said into the phone.

"Oh, hey, Harls, how you doin' on the outside?" guard Charlie Peterson asked her, his feet propped up on the monitoring desk in the west watchtower of Arkham Asylum as he idly worked on a crossword puzzle in his lap. He had his personal cellphone sandwiched between his ear and his shoulder as he spoke to Harley while trying to figure out an eight-letter word for a protective stone downspout. "Ends with E," he muttered to himself, tapping his pencil on his leg.

"Doin' good, Charlie," Harley answered him. "Listen, I need to talk to Deadshot for a few minutes. Can you get him for me?"

"Aw, sure thing, Harls," Charlie said, tossing his crossword and pencil onto the desk. "It's just about my break time."

"I know," Harley said, grinning at Bruce who was listening in on speakerphone as they sat in the BatCave together.

"Gimme five minutes, Harls, and call back," Charlie said, lumbering to his feet and grabbing his nightstick.

"Will do, Charlie. Thanks," Harley said. Bruce eyed her. She smirked back at him.

"Just like that," he said to her dryly. "You can get Deadshot on the phone."

"Sure," she said, cracking her gum, which she'd started chewing again since Jason had been gone, which caused Bruce to suspect that the gum was a nervous habit and that perhaps Harley was indeed a little more sensitive underneath her tough exterior than she liked to let on, as Jason had cautioned him.

"It's good to be the Queen," she shrugged, spinning herself around in the comfy desk chair at the BatComputer while she waited for the minutes to tick by.

"What did you have to do for him?" Bruce asked her curiously. "Do you have a payroll or something?"

"Nah," Harley said. "Who's got the time for all that boring work? I ain't the Penguin, Batsy, sheesh," she said. "I offer more personalized favors and incentives," she said. Bruce's eyebrow shot up.

"Like sex favors?" he asked her.

"Ew!" Harley shrieked. "No! You dirty old Bat. Ick!" she said, shaking her arms and legs wildly like she was trying to get the psychological slime off of her.

"Sorry," Bruce said, his lips twitching. "It was the way you said it."

"Get your mind out of the gutter," Harley chastised him. "I help people with their non-sexual problems," she said. "Charlie, for instance, his mom's got real bad cancer and she didn't have no health insurance coverage. I took care of the bills for him and we got her a real good doctor."

"Oh," Bruce said, honestly surprised and kind of touched, too, at the non-criminal element to Harley's manipulation tactics. Well, he was sure how she got the money to pay the bills was illegal, but… that was a pretty kind favor, he had to admit. He could see why Charlie would be loyal to her.

"We don't know if she's gonna make it," Harley said. "It's Stage Four. But, at least she's got good care now, ya know?" she said. Bruce nodded. "Ok, time to call back," Harley said, re-dialing.

"Harley again," she said when Charlie answered.

"Here ya go, Harls," he said and a second later they heard Deadshot's voice on the line.

"Lawton," he drawled.

"Hey, sweetie," Harley said cheerfully. "You got the last care package I sent?"

"Sure did," he answered her. "Nice upgrade on the helmet, honey."

"I do my best," she answered modestly.

"Chocolate bars were nice, too," he said. "Could have had a higher THC content, though." Harley giggled.

"Now, Floyd, I didn't trust you to not eat it all at once," she said.

"Well, that was probably wise," he said. "What's up, honey? Why you calling?"

"Long story short," Harley said, "I married Red Hood and his old man is the Bat, as it turns out."

"Well, congratulations and ho-ly-shit," Deadshot answered her dryly. "That'll be an interesting Thanksgiving." Harley giggled.

"We're working it out," she said. "That's why I'm calling, actually. Batsy needs some help patrollin' this week and Hoodie's outta town. I'm gonna suit up as Batgirl but I need some backup."

"And you thought of me?" Floyd said. "I'm flattered. Does the Bat know?"

"Yeah, here's the thing," Harley said. "I'm gonna get Waller to released the whole Squad. But… I can't have you takin' no contracts no more, Floyd." He sighed.

"And here I was so looking forward to seeing the sun again," he drawled. "I guess I'm out, Harls. You know how much pride I take in my work."

"Yeah, I know," Harley said. "But I was gonna keep bookin' jobs for the Squad with Waller. Just with pay and better weapons and backup. So you'd still be gettin' out there," she pleaded with him.

"But there's nothing like a solo assassination contract," Deadshot mused. "It's such an art form, Harley. Planning the hit. Pouring over details late at night. Cleaning my guns. It's a ritual," he said. Harley laid a warning hand on Bruce's forearm as he looked like he was about to growl and make his presence known.

"Well…" Harley said, considering, "what if… you only took jobs that I ok'd? 'Cause I can't have you killin' just anybody, Floyd. That ain't gonna go over well with the in-laws."

"You want to be my pimp?" Floyd chuckled.

"Manager," Harley corrected with a smile. "Agent."

"Pimp," Floyd said.

"Whatever," Harley laughed. "Is that a yes?" Deadshot hesitated. "You'd get to see your daughter," Harley said and he sighed.

"Fine. Yes. But you're only getting a 10% booking fee and not one percentage more," he said.

"Fifteen," Harley said.

"Eleven," Floyd countered as Bruce rolled his eyes back in his head as far as they could go.

"Twelve point five, and that's as low as I'll go," Harley said.

"All right, Your Majesty," Lawton said, laughing a little bit. "Deal."

"Good," Harley said. "I'll call you back with the release details once I've got Waller under my thumb," she said.

"You're not springing Boomerang, I hope," Deadshot said with a slight edge to his voice.

"Hell no!" Harley said. "After what he pulled in Nicaragua?" Lawton snorted.

"Good," he said. "Ta-ta for now, darling," he signed off, hanging up the phone.

Bruce snorted and rubbed his eyebrows. "I need some aspirin," he muttered.

"What?" Harley asked him, looking genuinely perplexed at his distress. He gave her a hard BatStare.

"You're taking a booking fee on his assassinations which, oh, by the way, you'll be scheduling for him," he said to her.

"It's better than him taking whatever comes his way," she said, confused.

"You know what would be even better than that?" Bruce said sarcastically. "Keeping him in Arkham."

"Oh, Bruce, you worry too much," Harley said, patting his shoulder. "There's a lot of bad people in the world who would never get convicted in court. That's why Waller put the Squad together in the first place. Politics is a dirty game," she said. "It's not all Scarecrow masks and coin flips out there in the real world." Bruce sighed.

"This is how I know I'm a broken man," he said, stretching his legs out in front of him as he leaned back in his chair. "I'm not even stopping you from doing this. Sure, Harley," he said, airily waving his hand like a king, "take Deadshot out of prison. Run the world. Be my guest."

"I was already doin' all that without your permission, ya know," Harley said with a little grin. "But if it makes ya feel better to pretend that you're in charge, by all means, go ahead and approve of me." Bruce gave a tired chuckle.

"Who are we calling next?" he asked her, not even arguing her point.

"Arthur Brown," Harley said. Bruce jerked and sat up straight in his chair.

"Arthur's on the Squad?" he asked her in a low voice.

"Yeah, it's ok," Harley said. "I already talked to Steph about it. I'm not actually sure Arthur's ready to be let out," she said. "That's why I need to talk to him first." She chewed her lip. "Bein' a criminal is an addiction for him," she said, "and Arkham really is like his rehab in that sense. Keepin' him on a short chain, only lettin' him do the missions that Waller wants him on. I don't know that he can handle bein' out unsupervised but he'll probably want to stay on the Squad if he stays in Arkham."

"You think?" Bruce asked her, surprised.

"Yeah," Harley said with a softer smile. "He volunteered for it. Wanted to redeem himself for Stephanie, so one day maybe she'd be proud of him again. He's really dedicated and a good team member," she said.

"Oh," Bruce said gently. "That's… nice. You told Steph?" Harley nodded.

"I told her she doesn't have to visit him," she said. "But I wanted her to know. When I realized who she was," Harley said, shaking her head a little bit with a smile. "You sure do pick 'em, Bats," she said.

"Hey, she became Spoiler on her own," Bruce said. "That one's not my fault."

"Uh huh," Harley said with a twinkle in her eye. "And who made her BatGirl?"

"Tim had a crush on her," Bruce said, laughing. "What was I supposed to say, 'no'?" Harley laughed, too.

"So whatever Robin wants, Robin gets?" she teased him. Bruce shrugged.

"This Robin, yeah," he said a little bit more seriously. "If it's reasonable," he said. He looked at Harley with a little bit of guilt in his eyes. "Tim pulled me back from the brink," he said a little more roughly. "So… yeah. I wanted to give him something special."

"His very own BatGirl," Harley said dryly.

"Hey," Bruce said, "it's not like he's even worked up the courage to ask her out, yet. He's a shy kid." Harley frowned.

"How long has Steph been BatGirl?" she asked him. Bruce thought for a minute.

"Two, maybe three years?" he said. "Closer to two, I guess." Harley raised an eyebrow.

"You're not being a very good wingman, Dad," she said pointedly.

"Hey," Bruce said, "I'm being a good parent. For once," he grinned at her. "I don't need them having sex all the time in the house before they're even out of high school." Harley laughed.

"All right, point taken," she said. "But Tim's gonna be in trouble if he gets friendzoned one of these days."

"He won't," Bruce said confidently. "They're into each other. They just haven't admitted it yet. They're young, Harley," he said. "They've got plenty of time."

"For once in your life, you actually sound like you know what you're talking about," Harley said to him, giving him a fairly surprised look.

"I did actually used to be a good parent, once," Bruce said. Harley looked at him very skeptically.

"Well, an all right parent," Bruce amended. "Before adopting Jason. Dick and Barbara were Robin and Batgirl, way back when," he said. "And they're still together. Although Dick had the balls to ask her out before graduating high school," he chuckled. "He's the one who should be Tim's wingman. But I prefer a sex-free house, so don't tell Tim to ask him for advice."

"A sex-free house for you, too?" Harley teased, picking up on the most interesting phrase in his sentence. Bruce sighed dispiritedly.

"I don't bring people home," he muttered. "Hookups should never meet your kids," he said seriously, meeting her eyes. Harley's face softened.

"Well, you're not wrong about that," she said, chewing her lip. "Sometimes a spouse shouldn't meet your kids, either," she muttered, looking down as she fiddled with her hands. Bruce looked at her gently, a little bit of concern creasing his brow.

"Did… something happen to you?" he asked her finally when she stayed quiet. "But you don't have to answer if you don't want," he said. Harley sighed.

"No, it's fine. I mean, it's not fine, but - my stepdad raped me when I was a teenager," she said.

"Oh, Harley," Bruce said empathetically. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah," she muttered, sniffing and wiping some tears out of her eyes. "At least the bastard won't be around much longer," she said, trying to make her face harder so she would stop crying. Bruce frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked her. Harley looked at him like he'd asked a stupid question.

"'Cause Jay and Bane are on their way to kill him," she said, as if it was obvious. Bruce inhaled sharply.

"Bane is going to kill somebody?" he said tensely. Harley raised an eyebrow.

"Did he not tell you?" she said curiously. Bruce felt the Bat glower starting.

"No," he growled out. "He definitely did not tell me," he said.

"Oh," Harley said with a thoughtful little smile. "That's interesting," she said. Bruce raised his own eyebrow back at her.

"What's interesting?" he snapped at her. Harley twirled some hair around her fingertip.

"Oh, I don't know," she said lightly. "That your first concern was Bane killing somebody and not Jay. And that Bane didn't tell you what he was up to this week. It's just… interesting," she said with a little smile. "That's all." Bruce stared at her hard.

"Bane is the new Batman," he said to her. "He agreed not to kill people as the Bat."

"And he's not," Harley pointed out. "He's killing someone as Bane."

"Which he didn't tell me about," Bruce growled angrily.

"I wonder why that was…" Harley mused with a sharp glint in her eye as she looked at Bruce. "And you're so upset about it, Bruce, aren't you?" she murmured, almost to herself.

"Of course I'm upset about it!" he snapped. "I trusted him."

"Ah," Harley said, nodding.

"We've become friends," Bruce said. "He's living in my home. Parenting my children. Patrolling my town."

"Uh huh," Harley said. "Is that all he's doing, Bruce?" she asked him.

"What the fuck does that mean?" he spat out at her.

"Nothing," Harley said with her mysterious smile. Bruce gave her a disgusted look.

"How helpful you've been," he snarked at her as he stood up.

"Where are you going?" Harley said.

"To call Bane," Bruce said shortly. "You can call Arthur by yourself. But I want to be on the call with Waller," he said.

"Okey dokey," Harley said calmly, watching as he stomped out of the BatCave. "Very interesting," she said quietly to herself with another little smile, spinning around a little bit more in the chair as she prepared to call Mariah the guard, whose break was starting in the next five minutes.