Her head swam with all the words she wanted to scream at them, circling her mouth like hungry sharks, but she did not afford them the privilege of feeding. Fingers pulling at each other nervously, she took a moment to gather her thoughts and stared at the floor in front of Ikora's feet.
"Why did you tell him?"
Ikora shifted on her feet, placing a hand on the gold medallion hung around her neck. "Shiro-4 came to us with his suspicions regarding a conversation between him and Crow while the three of you were in the City." She glanced at Zavala before lowering her head. "I had to tell Zavala what I knew. It is my duty as the Warlock Vanguard- I could no longer omit the truth."
"But Uldren is different-" Amon had let one of the sharks loose without thinking.
"Crow is no exception to our customs, and neither are you, Guardian. You know it is forbidden to look into our pasts. Not only did you know this, but you encouraged a guardian placed in your care and mentorship to pry into irreversible matters."
Amon closed her eyes. Inside her, two currents fought for dominance. The warm, comfortable past, the allure of second chances clashing furiously with the cold calculation of her duty to the Vanguard and to the Last City. She wanted so badly to let history sweep her away, drowning her in lost memories. To take her ship and shoot past the inner system, and never stop flying. To escape together. But she knew what she was bound to do, what was right. Her whole second life had been dedicated to sacrifice and selflessness, she could not begin being selfish now. Not for this- not for Crow, not for anyone.
She reopened her eyes and drew in a deep breath, feeling her chest rise as it filled with air and strained underneath her stiff armor. Zavala watched her in silence, waiting for her to bow, to bend over, to relent. She did.
"I understand. I apologize for my reckless abandon of our mission and for breaking sacred tradition. I also plead guilty to misleading a younger guardian. I am ashamed and it will never happen again." She bowed before the Titan, placing her hands on her knees and blinking rapidly to fight back tears and gain her composure. Crow stood next to her. Silent, unmoving.
They were no longer allowed to work on the same fireteam, at least not for the time being. To quote Zavala, they needed "time apart to allow detoxification" or some bullshit like that. He had not forbidden them from seeing each other or anything- the Vanguard did not control personal affairs of that nature, nor did it attempt to. However, he was being sent to the Dreaming City to work with Petra Venj who had, much to everyone's surprise, agreed to take him under her wing. So it was likely they would scarcely see one another in the coming months, if at all.
Amon decided to do what she did best in situations like these when emotions were challenging and bothersome. She shut them off, numbed herself. Whatever was between them in the past she had given up once before, and she could do so again. Dissociated from the present, Amon watched the rest of the conversation from afar, words flowing through one ear and out the other without leaving so much as a crumb of remembrance behind.
"I have to return to the infinite forest. I'm going to bring back Saint." She turned around to sprint away and escape their shocked faces, leaving them far behind her as she ran through the Courtyard towards her ship. She was just about to step up into the cockpit when someone grabbed her arm. He had trailed her so furtively that it took her several seconds to think who it could possibly be that was touching her.
"I love you."
After he spoke she summoned all of her reticence and glanced over her shoulder to meet his wistful amber gaze, without a hint of sentiment in her own.
"I know."
Crow dropped her arm and watched in silence as her ship left the Tower.
Amon entered the Infinite Forest once again. Alone. She traversed the greyscale corridors just as she had the time before, ripping through the Vex like they were made of paper. Something burned in her chest- something raw and poignant- but she ignored it, and instead let the creeping and unwelcome sensation channel into and amplify her light.
After a somewhat short journey, she found herself in the rocky blue-gray landscape of Mercury, her ghost immediately beginning a scan of the overcast environment. "Where are we, Ghost?"
"Let's see...topographical readouts match near-present Mercury. This is...before I found you. And after Saint-14 launched his final mission to find Osiris!"
She ran up a stone pathway and found Saint-14 hunched over and breathing heavily in front of a large pile of assorted gold-plated Vex components, glinting in the dim light. The titan turned to her as soon as she approached, shotgun clutched tightly in his hands.
"Guardian, you're back! Just in time. I was about to send my ghost away!" The titan smiled in relief behind his helm as he slung his shotgun onto his back. He held out his arms, looking from one palm to the other. "I'm afraid the Martyr Mind has taken my light. But now that you're here, these Vex are do-"
He was cut off as Amon watched holographic cuffs that crackled with lighting trapped each of his limbs. The titan struggled and strained against the bonds, grunting as he was lifted up and transmatted into the center of a cage comprised of his stolen light. The Martyr Mind materialized in front of its captive with its massive gun aimed straight at Amon. She rolled out of the way as a massive bolt of void energy shot towards her, obliterating the ground she had stood on.
Amon rushed up a sloped embankment, pulling out her Whisper sniper while the hulking machine's bolts aimed at her previous position. That was one thing she appreciated about fighting the Vex- they were slow as hell when it came to adjusting their line of fire. Crouching at the top of the embankment, she unloaded into the glowing white stomach of the Martyr Mind, grinning as it's destroyed corpse fell to the ground.
Her celebration was cut short by the manifestation of an identical beast on the far side of the circular basin surrounding Saint's prison.
"Fuck, are you kidding me?" Amon cursed and swiftly cleared out the Goblins and Harpies that were now swarming her location. Turning back to the glorified Minotaur, she took out the Martyr Mind once more. It was then that she noticed the real Martyr Mind hiding comfortably behind a blue data lattice barrier. "Should have known. Bring it pussy."
She dashed forward and scooped up the orb of light that dropped from the previous defeated Mind, scanning the area for a place to use it. A small portal-like ring glowed from atop a ridge, and she carried it over, slamming it down into the base. A wave of light arced outwards and damaged the barrier concealing the true Martyr Mind.
"Gotcha!"
Amon repeated the process with two more clones before the barrier finally fell, and the Vex monstrosity stepped out from its hidey-hole to face her. Just as she aimed her weapon, a crystalline barricade developed around her, suspending her in the air. She was unable to move or scream and the Martyr Mind stomped towards her.
This is it. I've failed.
The Martyr Mind pointed its weapon at her, poised to kill. Before it could pull the trigger, however, Saint-14's voice echoed throughout the basin.
"I can feel the light in my bones...Martyr Mind, time to die!" The titan cried out as his bondage shattered, exploding into the atmosphere with his massive void sentinel shield held overhead. He flew forward and slammed into the Vex, purple light eviscerating its matter on subatomic levels. The machine stumbled forward and collapsed into a mess of quantum debris. Amon's cage evaporated and she fell to the ground, just barely landing on two feet.
Saint-14 stood before her, brushing off his hands as he reveled in the victory. He spread his arms wide, gazing up at her.
"It's been a long time, my friends. I've chased your memory for centuries." He clapped his hands together and looked around as Amon stuttered, a million questions racing through her head. "You should go now. Those who could kill me are dead." Saint nodded at her, stilling his arms at his sides. "You've made sure of that."
"And what if the Vex take your light again?" Ghost spoke before the words could escape her dry lips. The titan shook his head.
"Impossible. It cost them everything to make the Martyr Mind. When you crushed it, they were doomed."
"You want us to leave you? You'll be stuck here for...years." Ghost fluttered nervously.
Saint waved them off. "You've done plenty. Just open the Infinite Forest gate for me. I'll meet you the long way around, at the entrance." Dozens of Minotaurs and Hydra spawned in the background as he spoke. The titan turned, unholstering his shotgun and laughing mirthfully. "What's a few more years of fighting Vex?"
He saluted her as she felt the rippling pull of the Sundial as it beckoned her back from the forest. As soon as her wits were about her, she ran through the triangular opening in the Sundial's barrier and into a small courtyard separating her from the pulsating entrance to the Infinite Forest. She hurried through the area, taking out the few Vex and lone Cyclops on her way to the steps leading up to the gate.
"If we did this right, Saint should be waiting for us in the forest. Let's hope he's still alive" Ghost flew forwards to open the doorway as Amon stood with her weapon ready, watching the gateway intently.
A lone Goblin was thrown through the opening and onto its back. It got up and stood onto its feet, stumbling back towards the portal. Before she could shoot, an armored fist burst through and killed the Goblin, sending it sprawling onto its back. "They call me Saint-14." Saint stepped through the doorway, dragging a struggling Goblin by the foot. "They call me the greatest titan who ever lived...but I would be dead if not for you." He stared at Amon as he pulled out his shotgun and executed the Goblin without so much as a glance behind.
He stowed the weapon and placed his hands on his hips as a Minotaur emerged from behind him. Saint looked back at it, whipping out his shield and bashing it so that it fell to one knee. He began to repeatedly headbutt the Minotaur, only pausing a moment to pick up one of the dead Goblins lying nearby. He slung the corpse around its waist and jerked it towards him, crashing his head into its core. The glass exploded in a burst of radiolarian fluid as the beast crumpled to the ground.
Saint turned away, discarding the Goblin's dismembered appendages and clapping his hands together as Amon watched, dumbfounded. "Since the day I met you, I swore I would make it my duty to follow your example." He paused, repositioning his hands to his sides. "I'm still trying."
Amon struggled for words as she gazed up at the legendary titan, unable to believe that she had in any way influenced his achievement. "I...there's something you should see."
"Just follow us, your ship is already prepared." Ghost twirled his shell in excitement at the prospect of his guardian being a hero to, well, a hero. Saint-14 followed them as they set out for the Tower.
Amon closed her apartment door quietly and took off her helmet, taking in the silence. Despondence tugged at her mind as she surveyed the empty home. She crept up the stairs and peered into the spare bedroom. He had made the bed before he left, and arranged the pillows incorrectly, but the thoughtfulness was what counted. Inching towards the bed, she grabbed a handful of the sheets and lifted them to her nose. He hadn't washed them.
Breathing in his scent, she closed her eyes and allowed a brief feeling of melancholy to wash over her. As soon as despair made itself apparent, she pushed it away. Numb. Numb is comfortable, easy. She released her grip on the linens and left the room, shutting the door and hurrying down the stairs. Amon barely slept that night- cold, fitful- as she tossed back and forth in her bed.
Amon made herself busy during the following weeks and didn't show for the crucible match they had planned with Dez, Mercer, and Tycho-3. She did more bounties than even Ghost could count, spent entire days in gambit or crucible, and in-between it all helped Saint-14 make himself at home in the Tower. They had been working together to great an Obelisk in the courtyard- a beacon to wanderers in search of a safe place. Amon had gotten to know the titan very well, and they often spent mornings feeding pigeons together. Saint would talk and she would sit quietly, listening to his stories of the Infinite Forest.
She awoke in the morning and a soundless apartment met her once again. Restful sleep had escaped her ever since she had returned with Saint-14. She clutched a blue silk robe to her chest as she walked to the kitchen where Ghost had already put on a pot of coffee. The warm scent filled her nostrils, and her heart swelled briefly with sorrow. It was dismissed almost as soon as it began to take form. Amon felt nothing as she sat alone and sipped her drink before dressing and heading towards the Courtyard.
She made her way up the steps above Eververse, waving at Tess as she passed. Tess flashed her brilliant white teeth back at her, platinum hair prim and perfect as usual. Amon never was able to style her own so well. Reaching the last step, she lifted her gaze and settled on the warm genial face of Eva Levante. "Hey, Eva."
The old woman smiled, hands folded over her green dress. "Hello, Guardian. It's an honor. How are you feeling today?"
"The honor is all mine, Eva. I've been better- but I'm sure you've something I can do to take my mind off of things." Amon wrung her hands together, praying to the Traveler that Eva would have gifts for her to deliver.
Eva pursed her lips. "Hmm, yes. First things first, you really ought to fashion a new cloak." The woman glanced down at her worn and dirty cloak. Amon silently cursed herself for forgetting to wash it.
"Ah, right, that's ok. Thanks, though." Amon attempted to hide her garment by swishing the cloak more fully behind her.
"Guardian, I am completely serious about this. I want to make you look good." Eva raised her eyebrows and examined the rest of her armor. "Well. I will fashion you something, free of charge. In return, you can deliver a gift for me." Eva smiled and pulled out a box of Ill-Fortune cookies.
Shit. Why is this happening? Amon knew who the gift was for before she even spoke.
"I would greatly appreciate it if you could deliver these to Petra Venj to me. A lovely young woman- do you know her?"
She attempted a half-smile, unsuccessfully hiding her discomfort. "Um, yeah, I know her."
Eva studied her face, narrowing her eyes. "Is something the matter? Bad blood?"
Amon shook her head. "No, nothing like that. Not at all."
"An old lover, perhaps?" A faint smile formed on Eva's lips as Amon blushed and waved her hands.
"F- heck no, we weren't, um, we aren't lovers. It's just that…" Amon trailed off and looked away from her prying gaze, blushing furiously. She couldn't deny that Petra had caught her fancy before. In the end, she turned the Queen's Wrath down in favor of their friendship.
"It's just what? A crush perhaps?" The old woman would not relent.
"I-I just want to avoid someone, that's all."
"Oh? You're avoiding Petra?"
Amon sighed, exasperated. "No, not Petra. Just someone she works with." Eva placed her hands on her hips and raised her chin, content with the information she had gleaned.
"Well, if you see Crow while you're there, tell him Old Eva wishes him well. He is a very nice young man."
Amon coughed to hide her reaction, bringing her arm up to cover her mouth. "Ah, yes, will do ma'am!" She brushed her hands off on her greaves and took the gift. "I better get going."
As she turned to leave, the old woman called out to her. "So long, Guardian. Stay safe!"