Chapter Fourteen - Part B
/ So, this chapter was supposed to be shorter because Part A was already posted… whoops? Enjoy!
Song recommendations for this chapter:
What Ifs – Kane Brown
Hard To Love – Lee Brice
Hurricane – Luke Combs
I Don't Dance – Lee Brice
Speechless – Dan + Shay
Bed – Nicki Minaj ft. Ariana Grande
Love Me Like You Do – Ellie Goulding
Say You Won't Let Go – James Arthur
A Moment Like This – Kelly Clarkson
Leah wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, but suddenly, it was morning and she felt the darkness of the night dissipate, light filling her bedroom. She blinked a couple of times to adjust to the light and stretched. Jacob's arms were still around her and he was sound asleep. She felt everything from the night before coming back to her – the vision of him in Renesmee's bed, him holding her, and the pain that she still felt in her chest. He looked so innocent, but she kept picturing things that made her feel nauseous. Although she slept for almost eight hours, she was still exhausted but hauled herself out of bed, managing to get up without waking him, before looking at the clock: 8A.M.
Hoping Emily was awake, Leah slipped out of the house unnoticed after running her fingers through her hair and grabbing her coat. She needed the only impartial opinion she was going to get. Unfortunately, she ran right into Renesmee at her doorstep, smelling her before the door even fully opened.
"Leah," Renesmee said softly, dropping the hand that was just about to knock on her door. "I… I wanted to talk to you before my family and I left."
Leah didn't see anyone with her and assumed Nessie came alone, but even looking at how her hair hung perfectly in loose waves, her tight black jeans hugging her hips sensually, and her long-sleeve shirt with it's deep-v, Leah felt surprisingly inadequate. Fuck Jacob Black. "I'm just leaving," she said, pushing past Nessie and closing the door behind her as she stalked away from the house.
"Please," Renesmee said again. "Just give me one minute."
Leah stopped in her tracks, ready to tell Renesmee that she had much better uses of her time, but she stopped when she saw tears in the younger girl's eyes. "What do you want?"
"Jacob loves you, honestly, forgive him," she said softly, knowing he probably went to her after last night and even if he hadn't, he still had a lot to be forgiven for considering Jacob said they weren't on the best of terms. "I will stay out of your way, I promise. I want him to be happy. He deserves to be happy, but… I'm aware that it isn't going to be with me." Her voice broke and she hardly realized she was rambling.
Leah sighed. This day was starting out just great. Her next words were forced, but also a test to Nessie's intentions. "You should just accept the imprint – tell him to go with you."
"That isn't what he wants."
"According to him in your bed last night it isn't not what he wants, either." The words were like venom, but she couldn't help it.
Renesmee flinched, "That was my fault. I thought… well, that maybe if we had last night together then I would change his mind; that he would see that he loved me, too, but it-"
"I really don't want to hear about your night any more than I already have," Leah said, crossing her arms. "Renesmee, why are you here?"
She squirmed under Leah's piercing gaze and frowned, "To tell you myself that I'm letting Jacob go. I didn't even have to. He was never mine. He never loved me like he loves you."
Well, funny, considering she thought the same thing.
"You're delusional."
"He never wanted me last night; not really. He wants you. He loves you."
"And that's why you spread your legs for him, and he barely managed to deny you, right?" It was unfair to take her anger out on Renesmee. Really, she was still for most intensive purposes, a child, but she couldn't help it. When Renesmee flinched, she could tell she was awkward with the topic of intimacy, but it hadn't stopped her from almost sleeping with Jacob the night before, so it was time for her to be a big girl and own up to her actions.
"It wasn't me he had trouble denying. Every time he looked at me, I could tell he wasn't fully invested. I just… wanted my first time to be with someone special and Jacob is special to me. But it was wrong of me. The imprint fueled his actions last night, thanks to me, but I promise that I will never allow the imprint to get in the way of his happiness. You're the one he's happy with. He told me you feel like home. I'm new to all of this, but I feel like there aren't many people in the world that can make someone feel that way. Forgive him, and me, please. I'm leaving shortly, and I promise to only be involved with him inasmuch as I have to be to satisfy the imprint – nothing more, nothing romantic."
Leah was a little confused at how to respond. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because love shouldn't be forced." Renesmee stepped forward and gave Leah a sad smile. "He isn't mine – maybe you don't want him to be yours, either, and if that's what you decide, then that's your choice, but I just wanted you to know that I am removing myself from any romantic connection to him and I won't change my mind on that. Whether you accept his love or not is up to you, but I know without a doubt that he does love you. Even Uncle Jasper can sense your connection. He says it's natural – pure." Renesmee knew Leah didn't have anymore words for her, so she gave her a small, sad smile before walking off into the woods and running off.
This day just kept getting weirder and weirder.
Leah felt a headache coming on and she sighed before walking the short distance to Emily's, feeling a sudden back ache mirroring her now throbbing skull. She probably slept weird. She knocked on the door when she got there, hoping that Emily was awake. Sam answered, though, in his robe. "Hey Leah, what's up?"
"Hey, is Emily up? I know it's early, but-"
"In here," Emily called. Sam stepped aside and ushered her inside.
"Do you want some breakfast? Coffee?"
"I'm good, thanks though." She was still getting used to her new appetite but honestly? She was more nauseous than hungry this morning. With everything going on, it didn't surprise her. Before phasing, she had always had trouble eating when she was upset.
She turned, following where she heard Emily's voice into the living room and Sam went back to the kitchen with his newspaper. "Leah," Emily said happily, resting a bowl of cereal on her belly, straining her neck to see her. Leah sat in front of her in the free armchair. "You're up early. What's wrong?" She saw the dark circles under her friend's eyes and the exhaustion displayed on her features.
Leah sighed, "I need advice, Em." She spilled her guts, and Emily listened quietly. She knew Sam could hear, too, but he stayed in the kitchen and gave them space. When she finished, she felt her eyes burning with unshed tears. "What do I do?" Her words were no more than a whisper.
"I can't tell you what to do," Emily said gently; motherly. "Do you love him?"
"You know that I do."
She moved over and patted the spot beside her on the couch. Leah went over and sighed, falling onto the sofa. Emily squeezed her hand tightly, "And everyone knows that he loves you, too."
"He loves her, too, though," she said bitterly.
"But he chose you."
"But can he keep choosing me?"
Sam came in the living room then and he frowned, sitting in the armchair, facing the two girls. "Can I interrupt?" Leah turned to him and nodded, trying to blink back unshed tears even though she felt as though there was no liquid left in her body after last night, and he continued. "I've been in Jake's head since everything happened with Renesmee. Have you?" She shook her head. "His imprint is different; I can vouch for that. You know how Carlisle said your love can possibly challenge an imprint-"
"Does the whole pack know about what Carlisle said!?" Surely if they did, she would have heard about it, regardless of her phasing, right? They hadn't exactly had a chance to sit down with everyone and tell them like Jacob wanted to do - thankfully, for her own pride.
Sam shook his head, clearly uncomfortable with the topic but wanting to help. "No, just me. He told me about it when I went to him the day Renesmee matured."
Leah sighed, at least it wasn't common knowledge yet that she wanted to jump Jacob because of an inner horny wolf. She really needed something better to compare it to… something more humanizing. She didn't want to think of that right now, though. "I don't want to have to challenge the imprint, I just… want it to be easy."
"Give him a chance. Renesmee's told you herself that she won't change her mind. I know you've been burned a lot before, but if there's merit to your feelings for one another, and Carlisle's speculation, and what we all see, it's that there's something there to fight for. Renesmee is gone now, right?"
The words surprised her, and her brow furrowed. She honestly expected Sam to be angry at Jacob for hurting her the night before, not understanding, but she was glad for his maturity. "Yes, but what happens if it's not possible forever? What if he… I don't know, misses her and realizes that he can't fight the imprint anymore?"
"I think Jacob's made his decision," Sam said levelly. "And I think is wolf is at peace with it… and I think if Carlisle's onto something, that speaks legions. Plus, he wouldn't have been able to let her leave if the imprint was controlling him."
The words didn't sit well, because they were full of something she had since squashed again: Hope.
Emily hesitated, but decided to take an alternate approach. "If Sam had of told you about the imprint, but said he was choosing you, what would you have done?"
The question killed Emily to say, and Leah's surprise at her words registered on her face and she hesitated. "That's not comparable, we had history-"
"And you and Jacob don't?"
"Well, yes, but-"
"But nothing. You would have fought our imprint to be with him, I know you. So, if you want to make this work with Jacob, try to trust him. Sam's seen his thoughts, that's true – he's told me, too, that Jacob's torn because he doesn't love Renesmee like Sam loves me. Not when faced with his feelings for you, but he knows how difficult it is for you and wants to make it right."
Sam added, "I mean, I didn't know about Renesmee last night, obviously, but I can say he's probably pretty upset with himself about it, especially if he told you about it and went to you right away. You don't have to forgive him if you don't want to - but if you really love him and want a chance to be happy… well maybe last night was the ultimate test and Jacob passed. Maybe not with flying colors, but he did choose you in the face of his imprint."
"I'm just so tired of being second-best," she said, her voice defeated. "I don't want to compete anymore with an imprint. I don't want him to even have to consider what he wants; I want him to know and for it… well, not to be tainted."
"If anything, it seems like Jacob is putting you first," Sam said. "And knows what he wants."
"Can you give us a second?" Emily asked her husband. "Alone?"
Sam nodded, but before he left, he glanced at his ex-girlfriend and frowned. "I want nothing more for you to be happy, Leah, and if Jacob hadn't of shown me what he did, I'd be right there with you – scared of you getting hurt, but I think he'll surprise you. I have faith in him, and your feelings for each other. I've seen the transformation since you've been with him, everyone has, and it's been hard - but nice, to see you so happy with him. Try to follow your heart. Trust me, if he hurts you, I'll make right on all of your father's threats to me with him," he said only half-teasingly. "Give him a chance to prove you wrong." Sam left then and Leah felt her heart grow heavy at the mention of her father and the fact that a man she used to love so intensely and passionately was now simply a friend trying to give her advice. She had changed a lot, but he had, too. She sighed, turning back to Emily.
When they were alone, hearing Sam having gone outside, Emily faced Leah and gave her a sad smile.
"You're not second best. Do you think Sam would have chose you if he could have? The answer is yes and despite my feelings on that, I've accepted it. I know what being second best is. It's seeing Sam's face every time you turn away from him and seeing the hurt in his eyes - it's when him and Jacob fought over Jacob's thoughts slipping at the whirlpools and him coming home, not wanting to face me because he was embarrassed that he couldn't keep his cool when faced with you. It was watching you and Sam out on that balcony at our wedding and knowing as happy as he was with me, his heart was breaking. That's second best, and I've accepted it. I'll live with it, because I love him and I know he loves me - even though he loves you, too."
Leah wasn't sure what to say, but she felt a tear slip down her cheek that she hastily wiped away. "You're married, with his baby-"
"And you really think that neither of us knows that it should have been you and him? That this was supposed to be your love story?"
"I don't love him anymore," she whispered. "Not like I used to."
Emily sighed. "I know, but there will always be a piece of both of you who loves each other and that's okay, but are you really going to throw what you and Jacob have away for the piece of him that cares for Renesmee? Jacob and Renesmee decided that their feelings are insignificant compared to his for you - they both decided that, with no romantic history or amazing love story. That's not second-best. He's choosing you because he can; because he wants to."
"It still scares me," she whispered. "You saw how quickly Sam left me for you and I just can't let that happen again. The first time, it was no fault of anyone's, but this time? If I get hurt, it's my fault for not guarding myself more. For knowing what I'm up against and blindly and stupidly ignoring it."
"They've already shown you that they're not Sam and I," Emily said wisely.
Leah reached over and hugged her friend tightly. "Thanks, Em."
"Do you have anymore clarity?"
Leah nodded, "I'm going to take today to just… think about everything. Can I stay here for a bit though? I kind of left him asleep in my bed."
"Leah!"
"He's clothed!" She said, finally finding a smirk creep up on her lips despite the heaviness of the last week. "We just… fell asleep."
Emily laughed, and Leah curled up on the opposite side of the couch as Emily turned on a movie. "And Em?"
"Yeah?"
"You're no one's second best. The love Sam has for you is… staggering. I've felt it. Trust me, our past was great, but it's nothing compared to his future with you."
Emily gave her a small smile, and the girls laughed and talked for the remainder of the morning, falling back into a comfortable friendship. When she went to leave later that day, she hugged Emily.
"Thank you," she said softly before pulling back.
"What are friends for?"
Leah left and walked back home. When she got back and inside, she saw her mom and Charlie on the couch, talking to Seth.
"You left early this morning," Seth said as she entered. "Are you okay?"
"Fine," she said easily, knowing he heard everything the night before with his wolf-hearing.
"Jacob just left," Sue responded. "Is he staying here again?" Last she heard Leah had just been fresh out of a relationship with Jeremy and love-sick over Jacob who seemed just as conflicted in his feeling as her daughter was.
"No, we were just up late talking, and he stayed over - completely platonic," she said, collapsing back into the small armchair.
"You don't look well," Charlie commented. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Positive, just tired." Her back was still bothering her a little, but her headache and nausea was gone.
"How's Abigail?" Leah asked, wanting to get the topic off her and Jacob. "I haven't seen her around lately."
"We hang out at her place usually. It's a little more normal there than here with the guys here most of the time and stuff."
Leah nodded, "And things are going well?"
"Perfect," Seth replied simply. "She's great."
"How are you doing about the pregnancy?" Sue asked, just hearing about it herself from Emily's mom the other day.
"Fine," Leah said easily. "I'm really happy for them."
"Maybe we should have dinner tomorrow. Us, Sam, Emily, Billy, Rachel, Paul, and Jacob."
"Mom, no-"
"Why? I thought you were mending fences. Come to think of it, maybe Jacob can fix the stair railing that he broke while he's here. I'll call them and invite them all over here. Besides, I'd like to talk to Billy."
Leah's eyes went over to the railing and she sighed, "Jacob and I are… complicated right now."
"The Cullen's left this morning," Charlie said simply to Sue, knowing Leah and Jacob's history as well as his and Renesmee's to a degree. "I've been meaning to tell you. Renesmee is… a woman, now, and they needed to relocate to avoid further scrutiny. Leaving Jacob was hard on Renesmee, but they decided it was best if he stayed here."
That was the simple explanation, Leah thought bitterly.
Sue's brow furrowed, and she looked between Charlie and her daughter, understanding the implications and wondering how much of their decision was because of her daughter and if so, what that meant exactly. She knew that Charlie knew the basics when it came to the Cullen's - and Jacob, and she also knew that Charlie was aware that Seth and Leah were also involved with Jacob since they had left La Push to follow him to the Cullen's, but Sue had never actually said to him that her children were shapeshifters like Jacob, and she didn't plan to. Charlie wasn't stupid, though.
Sue nodded, taking in the information, but it was Seth who spoke. "It took all I had not to go off on him last night."
Leah looked to her brother, who's eyes were full of confliction. "Seth-"
"No, I haven't heard you cry like that since Sam. What he did… I understand if you don't forgive him. I know you probably want to, and he's trying his best, trust me, I understand what he's up against here, but I warned him what would happen if he hurt you, and he didn't listen."
The words were laced with a heated, angry passion that Leah hadn't heard from her brother's lips before and she frowned. She was about to tell him that she could look after herself, though, when her mom's voice rang through the living room. "What happened last night?"
Leah took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and Seth studied his sister. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to have the resolve to say the words, so he decided to. "Jacob came over begging Leah to forgive him - telling her that he wanted to be with her."
"Oh?" Sue asked, cutting Seth off, confusion in her voice. "I take it you've told Jacob how you feel?"
Leah nodded, "Last week."
"And?" Sue pressed.
"He told me he felt the same – not in so many words, but he kind of asked me to wait to see what happened with Renesmee before he could really commit to anything with me."
"Then," Seth said firmly, his anger palpable. "He kissed Renesmee and then confessed his love for Leah, and she told him to leave her alone, but he kept pushing. I sent him away from here three times the past week, but last night he seemed pretty distressed so I let him in."
The room grew silent, and Sue sighed, "What did he say?"
"It doesn't matter," Leah whispered. "Seriously, mom, I'm fine. I can deal with Jacob and I."
"You didn't sound fine last night," Seth pointed out.
"I'm allowed to be upset without everyone worrying about me, okay!?" She cried. "This is my fault - my own doing, don't blame Jacob."
Seth's anger grew exponentially. "Don't blame Jacob!? How can I not blame him when he came to you last night and told you he loves you, but that he almost slept with Renesmee!? You're my sister, Leah. You can pretend all you want that you need to protect me, but I'm the man of the house, and I need to protect you."
Seth felt the pressure to step up since his dad died, but only when he imprinted on Abigail did he really understand what that meant. Leah frowned, and Sue pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay, kids-"
"No, we're not kids anymore," Seth said firmly, standing up. "And you're not his play-toy," he said to his sister. "I admire Jacob, I really do, he's like a brother to me, but he's not going to hurt you - not like Sam did. Not anymore and not when I'm around. I finally got you back."
"Got me back?" Leah asked, looking up her brother from her seat as he hovered over her.
Seth frowned, his anger slowly dissipating. "The old you - you were finally happy. I don't want you to be sad anymore."
Leah's heart broke in her chest at his words, and she gulped back the growing lump in her throat. Apparently not being a wolf anymore also heightened her emotions - including stimulating her tear ducts more. She reached out to take her little brother's hand, but he was right, he was a man now. "I promise you; I won't be that girl anymore. Jacob and I knew what we were getting into, Seth. I knew what position I was putting myself in, and I accept my fault in this. But, Jacob also helped me a lot, and he's a good guy."
Seth sighed, "I know you love him - Hell, I know he loves you, too, I just… don't want you to be sad anymore."
"I won't be," she promised. "Jacob and I have a lot to talk about - and work through, if we decide to be together, but I promise not to bring you or anyone else into our mess anymore, okay?"
"I want you to be able to come to me," he persisted.
"So that you can tear Jake's head off when we argue?" Leah mused.
Seth chuckled, "If it comes to that, yeah. Maybe I'd be a good Alpha after all."
Leah smiled, wanting to change the subject. "What about Beta?"
"What do you mean?"
Leah shrugged, not caring that Charlie was there - he knew enough by now. "Now that I've stepped down, Jacob needs someone by his side. With everything that's happened we haven't gotten a chance to ask you to step up into the role."
Seth was floored, but he cleared his throat, "Really?"
"Really. How about you go over and talk to him about it? And make peace with him. I'm serious, Seth. If you're going to help him run things, you need to remove me from the equation."
He hesitated but nodded. "If you need me, though… I'm not five anymore. We're family."
Leah got up and hugged her brother - who was now taller than her, tightly. "I know, I love you, but I'm going to be fine, okay? Go talk to Jake. Tell him I'll reach out when I'm ready."
Seth sighed, but hugged her back and nodded. When he left, Sue looked to Leah. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I will be," she promised.
"So you're… phased out?"
"Completely. I figured with school in the fall it was the best bet. Jacob agreed."
"I'm proud of you."
Leah smiled, "I'll give you two sometime alone. I need to grab a shower anyways."
Sue knew that Leah was hurting, but she seemed okay - a lot better than before now that she was actually feeling her emotions instead of bottling them up, and she wanted to give her some space.
"I guess a family dinner is out of the question with Bella, Edward, and Renesmee gone, huh?" Sue asked Charlie. Especially since it didn't seem as though Leah, Jacob, and Renesmee were anywhere close to being able to be in room together anytime soon by her new knowledge.
"Did your kids agree?"
"I mentioned it to Leah last week, before all of the drama happened, and she said okay -"
"I didn't get a chance to ask them since they left so quickly, but I'll call Bells later and see if they can come back for a visit a little sooner and we can tell them all then, okay?"
Sue smiled and nodded, "Okay. If it's too much trouble, though, we can tell them separately-"
"No, I think it's important to do this together."
Leah laid on her bed, emotionally exhausted. The sheets still smelt like Jacob, making sleep a lost cause despite her exhaustion. She hauled herself out of bed a few minutes later and got a shower before isolating herself in her room for the remainder of the day. She was grateful that Jacob didn't bother her.
As evening was coming near, Seth checked in on her when he got back from Jake's. "Leah?" He asked, knocking, before she called out for him to come in. "You up for a pack meeting tonight?"
"That was fast," Leah said, sitting up on her elbows. She had been watching the comedy channel on TV and relaxing on her bed. Apparently, she was still wolf enough to be considered applicable to pack meetings and she wasn't sure if she was grateful to be included or annoyed that she really couldn't get away from pack matters. She was tired from the emotional rollercoaster of the past few days and was hoping to take a nap soon, but it looked like she had other responsibilities to tend to. "I take it that you two have mended fences?"
Seth shrugged and walked over to sit on the edge of her bed on the end. "With the pack involved it seems that way."
"How did your talk go?"
"Alright," he shrugged. "Stuck mostly to pack-issues. It was kind of awkward, but we'll tell everyone tonight. Jacob offered the firepit at his place to have a fire and relax with everyone after the meeting." Leah wasn't too thrilled about seeing Jacob just yet, and she sighed. "Get ready and we can go over together."
Leah nodded, and Seth disappeared before she got up and sat at her barely used vanity. Before realizing what she was doing, she had applied a full face of make-up. Foundation, powder, eyeshadow, mascara, eye liner, and some minor contouring. It was something she used to do frequently – something that always got Sam's attention and after everything that had happened, especially seeing Renesmee's perfection earlier that day, she wanted to feel womanly. She curled her hair and teased it into a messier look that hung down to her collarbone. She finished off her look with a tame lipstick.
She slipped into a pair of black, ripped jeans, and a white cropped sweater that hung sexily off her shoulders. It wouldn't keep her toasty warm thanks to her wolf-temperature having checked-out, but it did look hot. She met Seth downstairs and even he looked twice.
"You look great," he said, assuming her newfound love of make-up again was to, well, impress their Alpha. Regardless, she did look good – confident. "It's not exactly fire-attire, but Jake will love it."
"It's not for him," she said, slipping into a pair of short, black booties.
"Whatever you say."
"It's for me," she returned as he shrugged his sneakers on. Seth gave her a speculative look and Leah sighed. "Seeing Renesmee earlier today-"
"You can't compare yourself to her," Seth snapped. "You're not comparable."
Leah sighed, but decided not to dignify him with a response. "Is Abigail coming?"
"After we talk secret pack-talk, yeah," Seth said easily.
"She doesn't know about the wolf-thing yet?"
"I've been trying to ease her into it – establish an actual relationship, first."
They left the house and started walking to Jacob's. Leah smiled, "My brother – the gentleman."
He rolled his eyes, but chuckled. "I'm going to tell her tonight – after the fire. She's, uh, coming over after…"
Leah stopped walking and put a hand on her hip. "Seth-"
"Dad and mom already beat you to the sex talk," he said, continuing to walk so that his sister didn't see the blush creeping up on his cheeks. "And I don't plan on anything happening anytime soon, so don't start."
Leah may not have been able to see his face, but she could imagine his embarrassment and she grinned before continuing to walk. "My lips are sealed," she promised. "But if you do need… uh, well, you know, condoms, you're in a wolf pack with lots of guys who have access so just, uh, be safe, okay?"
Seth groaned, "I think I got it under control."
The conversation dropped there and Leah suddenly realized based on today's revelations how grown up Seth was now. He was far from the kid who had joined Jacob's pack, even. A few months really could change someone. She grinned as they approached Jacob's and Seth ran over to Embry and Quil – putting distance between him and his sister in efforts to avoid any more awkward talk about him and Abigail's future intimacy.
Leah almost laughed and Rachel walked out of the front of the house and over to her. The rest of the guys were there except for Sam, but she saw Sam and Emily walking toward the house from the opposite direction she and Seth had just come.
"Hey," Rachel greeted happily. "How are you?"
"How do you know?" Leah asked, seeing her friend's sympathetic face.
She sighed, an armful of marshmallows for the fire. The sun had set about an hour ago and Leah looked away to see the flickering orange fire. "Paul told me earlier. I'm sorry, Lee."
"It's fine," she said strongly, looking back to her friend and giving her a convincing smile. "Seriously. Let's have fun tonight."
Although Rachel felt bad for her brothers' actions, she was glad that Leah seemed okay. She had a right to not be, but well, Leah's emotional rollercoaster was also starting to give her whiplash and she knew how badly Jacob felt and was starting to come to terms with wanting them to work it out now that it seemed to be an option. Still, this was up to them and not her and she wanted to put some distance between her opinion and their relationship. "Let's go sit down."
Emily and Sam approached, and Sam squeezed Leah's shoulder as he passed by, before joining the others. Emily engulfed her into a hug, and Rachel raised a brow, cluing into why she wasn't getting the brunt of Leah's misery. Emily already had.
"How are you?"
"I'm fine," she promised. "What about you?"
Emily put a hand on her belly and smiled, "Great. Ready to eat a million s'mores. This baby has a sweet-tooth."
The girls laughed and went over to sit on a log together.
"You look hot," Rachel mused. "To get back at my brother, I presume?"
Leah shrugged, "Nah. For me."
Emily smiled, sensing Leah's strength, but as Jacob came back, she watched the familiar heartbreak turn over her features and sighed. Jacob noticed her immediately and did a double take before he put the wood down by the fire.
"I think he likes it," Rachel giggled.
"And I think," Leah sighed. "We need to mend fences."
She got up, surprising both girls – and the guys, who had found out earlier thanks to Jacob phasing exactly what had happened. Hence Paul filling Rachel in, and well, things never stayed quite for long. She ignored their stares – mostly filled with sympathy, unease, or in Embry's face – fascination, at her new appearance, and walked over to Jacob, who was eyeing her from across the fire.
"Can we talk?"
"I thought you hated that line," he said, trying to bring a lightness to his words.
She shrugged, "Renesmee came by to see me before she left."
They had an audience, but they were simply talking – nothing scandalous. Wolf-hearing wasn't forgiving anyways.
"She did?" He reached out to take her wrist and lead her away from the fire, for a little bit more privacy – if that was even possible.
Leah followed and nodded, "Wanted to tell me that she was letting you go and all that."
Jacob nodded, his eyes scanning over every part of her face, taking in the effort she put in – not that she needed it. "And that still didn't convince you that her and I are over?"
"There's not much to convince," she said easily.
"I'll do anything, Leah-"
"You've done enough," she said sternly. "I need space to figure out where we go from here."
"I appreciate that," he said finally, sighing. "But everything I said last night, about choosing you – loving you, was all true. I fucked up, we both know that, but give me a chance to make it up to you and I promise-"
"I don't want any more promises, Jake."
He nodded, "Well I'll show you. I don't expect you to forgive me that quickly, but I will make it up to you and I hope that's enough. You look beautiful, by the way. A final fuck you to me for screwing up, huh?" The corner of his mouth turned up into a nervous smirk and a ghost of a smile appeared briefly on Leah's lips.
"I think you're beating yourself up without me throwing salt in the wound."
"I think you like throwing salt," he teased, feeling a familiar banter establishing between them.
She wasn't sure if she should let her guard down – or if she wanted to, and she decided not to take the bait for friendly teasing. "We should get back." He nodded and reached out to offer her his hand. She hesitated.
"Please, Leah, let me make this up to you." He asked, pleading with her now. "All I want-"
"What you want doesn't matter right now," she said pointedly. "You took your sweet time in figuring out what you wanted, so now it's my turn to be able to approach this with a clear head. You knew where I stood, and you still ended up in bed with her." She couldn't help the bitterness that escaped. She really had wanted to be cool and collected in this conversation, but she was still hurt. As she looked up to his face, and studied his lips, once again she was hit with the sobering reality that they had last been on Renesmee's body and not hers. She pointedly looked away and Jacob gulped back a growing lump in his throat.
The guys were all talking, joking, and laughing, but as he looked back to the group of their friends, and back to Leah, he knew they were all waiting on them and sighed. "I'll regret that mistake for the rest of my life," he said, the seriousness in his voice causing her to shiver. He noticed and sighed, attributing it to the cold. "At least come sit by me to warm up. As hot as that outfit is, you must be cold."
She nodded, and they walked back together. Leah sat in between Jacob and Embry and tried to avoid the sympathetic stares from everyone as they grew quiet. Honestly? The look in Embry's eyes when she sat down kind of made her uncomfortable – Jacob noticed and was ready to once and for all end his little crush on his girlfriend but sighed as soon as the thought crossed his mind. Leah wasn't his and may never be again thanks to his actions.
Trying to clear his mind, he stood up and addressed the pack.
"So, as you're all aware, the Cullen's left this morning. That means a little more normalcy here in La Push. Leah's the first member to officially have been able to phase out, so the option is there for any other pack members who would like the out now that things are quiet. With Leah phasing out, though, and me needing to stick around to be a reinforcing member of the pack for the younger members to get their own phasing under control, I need a new Beta. I've asked Seth to step up in the role and I know he's going to be very helpful."
Quil and Embry, sitting beside Seth, jostled his shoulder teasingly and the other guys nodded their approval.
"Unless anyone has any questions or objections, I guess that's really it." Short and sweet.
The guys were content enough with the change in leadership – unlike when Leah took the role, they really did all respect and admire Seth. Plus, the older wolves would probably start taking a backburner to the pack such as Paul and Sam and eventually, Jared. They were all grateful for things to begin to go back to normal. A few beers were passed around and they all fell back into chatting and hanging out. Jacob sat back down beside her and took a beer himself.
"I have an idea," Jacob said suddenly, grasping her attention as Abigail joined everyone and Seth curled up on a log with her under a blanket. Leah turned to him and raised a brow. "Phase – me and you now and I can show you."
"Show me what? You and Renesmee-"
"No," he said firmly. "How I feel about you – how it's different. If you see it – feel it… at least you won't question my intentions moving forward."
She thought back to Sam telling her he trusted Jacob because of what he showed him, and felt the intrigue, but really didn't want to shed her clothes right now. "Maybe later, I'm not sure how my mascara will make-out in a phasing episode." Her words were teasing, but Jacob knew her concern wasn't on her make-up, but other things that she may see.
He sighed, "You're beautiful without that stuff, you know."
"Renesmee seems to be keen on it, or did you not notice?"
He deserved every bit of venom that came out of her mouth, and he knew it, but he was willing to take it if it meant that someday she would forgive him. "I don't care what she does," he said finally. "I do care about you, though, and no matter what you put on your face, it doesn't compare to when you first wake up in the morning." Admittedly, he thought back to those knee-highs, picturing them on Leah. God, she was beautiful. How did he let this happen?
Leah gulped back a growing lump in her throat. Jacob was nursing his beer, but she decided to keep a clear head tonight and avoid alcohol. It amazed her at despite how upset and angry she was at him; his words could still evoke a shiver up her spine in a less than plutonic way. She looked away from his heavy gaze, knowing her eyes would betray her. He reached down, knowing he succeeded in breaking her walls down slightly, to intertwine his fingers with hers. She was about to protest when something else caught her attention: Quil and Embry whooping and hollering.
She turned her attention, her fingers resting easily in Jacob's still, to see Seth lip-locked with Abigail. They pulled apart at the boys teasing, both of their cheeks flushed, and Leah grinned before pointedly looking away as they looked at each other. It was a picture-perfect imprint, but he was also her baby brother and she felt like she was intruding watching them – even if they were hardly in private.
"He seems happy," Jacob murmured.
"Very happy," she agreed.
"We could be that happy," he promised, whispering in her ear, causing another chill to go up her spine. He pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her waist and she leaned into his warmth as the wind blew through and goosebumps raised on her flesh. She wasn't sure if it was because of the breeze or because of Jacob.
"We're not imprinted," she said firmly, avoiding his gaze as she watched the fire flicker.
"We're mates, remember?"
Leah groaned, finally meeting his gaze. "Do all of the guys know about that? Because I know that they know about Renesmee." She barely had any time to think about their 'mating' status since everything happened with Renesmee.
"No," he said simply.
She looked away, "Do you miss her?"
"I miss you." She was silent for a moment, and he sighed. "I still owe you dinner. How about-"
"Dinner isn't going to fix this, Jake."
"It's a start," he said as she finally met his gaze.
"I wish we could go back to before…"
"Me, too," he whispered.
Their faces were so close. She was still leaning into him for warmth; his arm around her hips, and without thinking, falling back into a familiar comfort with her, he leaned down to enclose the distance between their lips, causing her to pull back.
"Jake…" she closed her eyes. He wasn't sure what to say, but he felt a huge ache in his chest. He wished so badly he could turn back time and reject Renesmee immediately and his guilt was eating him alive. He pulled back from her, sighing and she turned to face him on the log. She felt tears stinging her eyes and she cursed herself for being so weak. After all, everyone was still around talking and laughing, but it was so clear to her in that moment how comfortable she was with Jacob and how good he made her feel, despite the Renesmee fiasco. He wouldn't meet her gaze and she reached out to put a hand on his thigh before he turned. "I want to take things slow." She forced her words out, remembering her conversations with Emily and Sam earlier. "If you're serious about the imprint being done and swear to me that when you see her again… nothing will happen…"
"What are you saying?" He asked as he faced her.
Leah hesitated before her free hand reached up to cup his cheek. She took a deep breath before leaning in, pressing her lips gingerly to his. It only lasted a second, but Leah felt the passion coursing through the small kiss. It had also evoked some gazes from the others around, but she fixed her eyes on Jacob's. "I want to forgive you. It's going to take time, but… I want you; I want us back. I love you, and I don't know if I'm being the stupidest person in the world right now or if you're my forever. I have so many more questions than answers and I'll probably never get them, but if you're willing to fight for us, then I am, too."
Jacob smiled and reached out, his hand tangling in her hair as he pulled her closely, his lips hot on hers. It felt too private to be on display for everyone, but she kissed him back feverishly before he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you, Leah Clearwater."
His words made her heart clench and she nodded before saying four, powerful words. "I love you, too."
"I'll never let you down again."
"Don't make promises that you can't keep," she taunted.
He chuckled, and Rachel changed the music to something slower.
A Moment Like This, by Kelly Clarkson.
Leah looked over to her friend, who grinned as Paul took her hand. Evidently, Sam also grabbed Emily's, Seth Abigail's, and Jared and Kim. Embry and Quil were on the sidelines chatting and the younger wolves were laughing and joking with Collin and Brady.
A makeshift dancefloor quickly developed around the fire and Jacob extended his hand to Leah. She smiled and took his hand as they stood. He pulled her closely and no matter how scared she was about giving him her heart again, wrapping her arms around Jacob's neck made her feel safe as she felt his arms tighten around her waist. They would do this, she thought. They had to.
She rested her head against his chest, and he inhaled the scent of her shampoo, burying his face in her hair. "Nothing has ever felt righter," he whispered.
Leah smiled and looked up to him as his lips crashed against hers. She didn't say anything, and their bodies stopped swaying as he kissed her passionately. When the song came to an end, they were still lip locked and he gently lifted her off her feet as she wrapped her legs around his waist, breaking their kissing to hug him tightly.
"Get a room," Quil called teasingly to them as all of the other imprints kissed their other halves.
Jacob chuckled and put Leah down begrudgingly. "Jealous, Ateara?"
"You guys can't stay mad at each other long, huh?" Rachel teased.
Leah looked up to Jacob and she felt it – like he was the other half of her whole. Jacob pulled her close, wanting to make everything up to her even more, and he sighed happily as she curled into his chest. Finally, he thought, a real relationship. "I guess that's what mates means."
"Mates?" Rachel asked, quirking a brow as they all sat back down, around the fire.
"Jake-" Leah said before he gave her a goofy smile.
"Yeah, Carlisle has a theory."
"The vamp?" Paul asked. "What does he think he knows now?"
"Please, not now," Leah pleaded.
He looked down to her and grinned, "May as well cement our future with the others, huh?" Plus, Abigail had just went inside to the bathroom.
"Cement is a strong word considering you're not totally forgiven yet and Carlisle's only guessing."
He chuckled but turned back to the others. "Carlisle thinks that Leah and I have, uh, mated, in the traditional sense of wolves. Which is why I'm able to push the imprint away."
Jared quirked a brow, "What does that even mean?"
He gave them a quick rundown and was met with both unsuspecting and strange looks.
"Well then," Paul mused. "Guess we know why you went at it so much. You sure that Leah's not pregnant with a litter yet?" He snorted and Seth rolled his eyes.
Leah groaned and buried her face into Jacob's chest. He chuckled, "What can I say, I can't keep my hands off her."
Leah blushed and rolled her eyes before kissing him.
"Okay, seriously, get a room to test your… uh, mating theory, but don't do it here," Paul groaned.
The guys asked some more questions and Jacob answered them to the best of his ability until Abigail came back and the conversation changed into something easier. He knew the guys had been holding back their jokes earlier, probably because of his and Leah's less than ideal start to the night, but they spent the rest of the night with the others, joking and laughing – and stealing kisses.
When everyone started to leave, Emily growing tired and the younger wolves having school in the morning, Jacob turned to Leah. Seth had already left with Abigail. "I'll walk you home."
"I can get home myself," she teased.
"I want to, just let me put the fire out, first."
Leah stayed back and Rachel came over. "I take it all is forgiven?"
She shrugged, "We've got some things to work on, but-"
"But you love each other."
Leah nodded. "It feels like we belong together."
"Well, aside from this mating theory," she cringed. "I mean, you do seem like a good fit." She hugged her friend. "Maybe someday I'll have a new sister – officially."
Leah laughed, "Don't get too far ahead of yourself. We're just testing the waters."
She rolled her eyes as Paul called out to her. "Well test them somewhere else tonight, cause dad's home," she teased, winking.
Leah flushed, and Rachel ran off as Jacob came over and took her hand. "Ready?"
She nodded, and they began the short walk home. "Seth's telling Abigail tonight."
"Is he now? 'Bout time."
"I think things are… getting serious with them."
Jacob looked down at her, brow quirked. "Want me to talk to him?"
She laughed, "Not sure he wants to talk to his sister's boyfriend about sex."
"Boyfriend?"
Leah looked away and shrugged, "I mean, it's safe to say that we've surpassed labels at this point."
Jacob smirked, "Is this boyfriend allowed to stay over tonight?"
Leah hesitated, but nodded. "I think he may be."
Jacob smirked and they finished walking back to her house. She had to have faith; hope. When they got there, she heard Seth downstairs with Abigail, and she and Jacob grabbed some snacks before heading upstairs. She had filled up on s'mores around the fire and was feeling a little off, but she curled up with him on her bed and turned on the TV like old times but unfortunately, she yawned about half-way through and Jacob turned off the TV.
"Get some rest," he said as she curled into him, enjoying his warmth.
"I get it now," she mused.
"Hm?"
"Why the imprint's are always cuddled into their boyfriends."
He chuckled, "Is it just my warmth that you're using me for?"
She felt the smile fade from her lips as she met his gaze. Something more primal took over and she gulped, biting her lower lip. "I'd like to use you for a lot of different things," the words fell out of her mouth.
Jacob looked at her, the familiar passion igniting in his eyes. "If you're too tired…"
She shook her head before pressing her lips to his, the overwhelming feeling that she was whole with him taking over as he returned the passion easily. Their tongues danced together, and he leaned over her, his fingers brushing up the side of her hip and up further, underneath her shirt. His fingers caressed her tanned skin under her sweater, and she made quick work of his shirt, easily peeling it off his torso and throwing it to the floor. She look in his muscular chest, feeling her own desire growing with every second - she wanted him in every way.
Unfortunately, as Jacob shed her sweater and his fingers went to her red, laced bra, Leah felt crushing insecurity and pulled back. Jacob did the same, looking at her confused until he realized. The bra.
"Leah…"
"I'm sorry," she said softly, unable to meet his gaze as she sat up and he rolled over to the side. "I just… can't stop picturing it."
"You're the only one on my mind right now," he promised, reaching out to take her hand as she met his eyes. "The only woman I want."
Leah sighed. As confident as she felt, it was faltering. She needed to get back in a good headspace. "Give me a second?"
Jacob nodded as she got up and rummaged through her dresser before disappearing into the bathroom across the hall. He fell back on the bed, sighing, wondering how he could even begin to convince her of his true feelings as the door opened again and he looked up, the entire room void of air.
"Leah…"
She was dressed in a nude-colored ensemble. The one-piece covered everything it needed to but had a cut-out in the mid-section so that he could see her belly button and ribcage. The fabric was see-through all around but had floral shapes in the material to cover what was necessary. Honestly, in something like that, it was almost unnecessary to even attempt coverage. The top half was connected to the bottom on the sides and her breasts were covered with the floral, thin fabric, too, up to her neck, where two little straps tied around her back. He licked his lips, feeling his throat go dry.
"Do you like it? It doesn't have a bra strap," she said teasingly, walking over to him.
He sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out to touch her hips, letting his fingers gently skim over the fabric before tracing her bare skin at the end of the little getup. "If you get any sexier, I'm going to have to lock you away," he said, voice husky and thick with lust.
She smirked, trying to stay in the moment with him and focus on moving forward. "I think you'll like the back even more," she said, stepping away from his grasp. She watched his gaze intently before she turned around, and Jacob immediately stood up.
It was all straps. Two straps from her neck down to meet two more keeping the chest piece up, which met two more to keep the material tight to her ribcage in front, and two other straps on her hips, meeting the thong back. He wanted to rip it off, but he liked it too much. Instead, he forced himself to remain some semblance of control and he reached out to turn her around. She barely caught the animalistic passion on his face before he picked her up off her feet and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He pushed her against the nearby wall and his lips suffocated hers.
No matter how he looked at Renesmee, she thought idly, it couldn't have compared to that. She kissed him back fiercely as his fingers reached up to push the shoulder straps off. The top of the lingerie fell and keeping her up, he let his lips travel down to her hard nipples, taking them into his mouth, licking and sucking. The soft moans escaping her lips were music to his ears and he knew this was exactly where he belonged. He pulled her away from the wall a moment later and brought her over to the bed, throwing her down on it. His dominance caught her by surprise and was a huge turn-on and she pulled him down on top of her after pushing down his jeans and boxers in one, fluid motion.
"I'm yours," she said softly as he hovered over her.
"And I'm yours," he promised her, kissing her again before his fingers quickly - and excruciatingly carefully, removed the rest of her ensemble.
"Jake, wait-" Leah said quickly, just as his hips were about to crash into hers.
"What?" Had she changed her mind?
"Uh, what about... well, a condom?" She saw his confusion on his face, and she sighed. "I'm not phasing anymore… who knows what my body thinks?"
"What Carlisle said really got to you, huh?"
She blushed, and sighed. "Better to be safe than sorry?"
"Only you would pick right now to remember a condom," he groaned.
Leah propped herself up on her arms as he rolled away from her. "Just… pull out?"
"Effective birth control, Clearwater," he chuckled. "Not sure the 'pull out' method is considered a real method by any healthcare practitioner. I didn't even finish high school and I know that."
"Is that a no?"
Jacob could smell her arousal and he leaned over to pull her on top of him, straddling his hips. "I'll do my best," he winked.
"Jake!"
"I'll be careful," he promised as she lowered her hips onto his, evoking muffled moans from each of their lips as they kissed. After all, as far as he knew her body hadn't returned its original cycle yet, so he was sure until that happened, they were fine.
Leah moved her body on his, feeling every inch of him coaxing her desire on. She rubbed her lower half against his, fast, then slow, then faster.
"Roll over," Jacob said suddenly.
"What, why?"
"I can't exactly pull out if you're on top," he said, reminding her of her birth control dilemma.
She blushed but nodded and got off of him, falling back against the pillows. "Not so fast," he smirked, turning her over easily onto her belly.
"Jake, what the-"
He took her hips in his hands, raising them up to meet his own as she laid, face-down into the pillows. As he plunged his lower half into hers, feeling the new contact, she cried out, and he groaned, moving inside her. It didn't take long, as he moved inside of her, gripping her ass.
Leah had a million objections come to mind as soon as she realized what he was doing - wolf mating the first, the guys jokes about doggy style the second, but as soon as he entered her, it was blissful, and she found herself pushing her face into the pillows to muffle the loud moans escaping her lips. Just as she felt her entire body tense, she felt Jacob groan and immediately remove himself from her, his release ending up on her backside.
She had been so, so close, and she sighed before she sat up, facing Jacob.
"So you did want to mount me?" She asked, raising a brow.
Jacob couldn't help but to chuckle and she got on her knees, facing him, feeling his fluids all over her backside. "You didn't seem to mind."
"I do mind that I'm left high and dry," she replied sexily.
Jacob smirked as she wrapped her arms around his neck, their bodies pressed tightly together. His hand caressed down her hip and ended up between her legs, causing her to buckle against him. "I'd never leave you high and dry, don't you know me better than that by now?"
She kissed him, feeling the dirtiness of their friends with benefits activities seeping through as he moved his finger in and out of her, his thumb caressing her clit before added another finger, then another. She soon felt the warmth of her orgasm flood her and she cried out, her body convulsing against Jacob's. His free hand kept her up, pressed tightly to him, while his other hand continued to move inside of her until she was still.
"That was so hot," he said as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, keeping her close. "I love you."
Leah pulled back, the words seeming so out of place in his mouth, yet so perfectly blissful and right. "I love you, too."
He smiled and placed a gentle kiss to her lips. "Think Seth will give us shit tomorrow?"
"Definitely," she laughed.
"I guess this means you're going to have to go shopping."
"Hm?"
"For more of those," he gestured to the lingerie on the floor. "And condoms."
"I may have some more of those up my sleeve. I thought Billy gave you condoms?"
"Only one box," he said teasingly.
Leah grinned and rolled her eyes as the laid back in bed together, slipping under the sheets. Jacob kissed her forehead, bringing her close as sleep overcome them both.
/ Stay tuned for a BIG surprise next chapter y'all! I've got lots more in store.
~ Becca