I do not own The Outsiders. All characters used from the book are borrowed with much respect to S.E. Hinton.

Sorry once again if I made y'all cry. Here's some more drivel.

"Hey, Darry! There's a buncha girls on TV!"

In desperate need of a break from reality, I looked up from the pile of bills on the kitchen table; a grin pulling at my face while I stood up and made my way for the living room. Sodapop's eyes looked like they were ready to pop out of their sockets as he was glued to the scene in front of him—some sort of televised beauty pageant.

On the stage were a plethora of lovely ladies; legs and curves for as long as you could stand to look at them. Ponyboy as usual, had his nose shoved in a book while he was stretched out lengthways, with his feet resting in his brother's lap.

I huffed out an amused laugh as I plunked down onto the sofa beside Sodapop, reaching over to playfully wipe at his chin.

"Careful, Pepsi. You'll drown the kid with all that drool." I grinned.

"Yeah, right! Like you ain't lookin' and droolin' too!" Soda snorted before punching me playfully in the shoulder.

I chuckled, but didn't deny anything.

"I don't get it," Pony peered over his book to take a gander at the television. "What's so great about a buncha girls in bathing suits anyways?"

"What's so great about a buncha girls? Half-naked girls?" Soda feigned horror. "Darry, call the doctor! Somethin's wrong with our brother!"

"Soda, cut it out!" Pony half-whined at his brother's teasing, and I couldn't help but stifle a laugh.

"Alright, leave him alone, little buddy. It's okay if he ain't ready for that stuff yet. Don't worry Pone, you'll catch on in a couple of years, God help me."

I could already feel the hair on my head turn grey. If Ponyboy turned out to be anywhere near like his brother Sodapop, I was in for a lot of trouble. I could already imagine the number of phone calls from girl's parents that I'd get; complaining about their precious daughters being corrupted by a pair of green-grey eyes and the little cleft in that chin.

"Catch onto what?" Pony rolled his eyes at the television and returned to his novel.

"Why half-naked girls are reason to get all sorts of excited! Oh boy, Darry! Lookit Miss Texas!" Soda piped up. I could only laugh at his antics.

Sodapop continued ogling the pageant contestants and I gave Pony a wink after rolling my eyes. Pony cracked a grin, and I reached over to give his foot a squeeze. A sudden jolt of pain shot through me, and I heard the groan come out of nowhere.

"You okay, Darry?" Ponyboy looked on at me curiously.

I tried to shrug it off, but I couldn't seem to move. The pain was crushing as it wrapped itself around the entire left side of my body. I couldn't help it when I hollered out and my right hand slowly reached over to clutch at my left arm while I shut my eyes to blinding light.

"Darry, what is it? You okay?"

I could hear the panic in Soda's voice rise and I yelled out as I felt the pain start to envelop me. My brothers were both at my side trying to help, but I didn't even know what was wrong or what was happening.

"Darry?"

I could hear Pony start to panic, and dammit if I didn't try like hell to swallow it down so that I wouldn't scare him, but it was too late. It was too much. I couldn't handle it.

"Soda! What's wrong with Darry? Sodapop!"

"Shhh…it's okay, hon. Just take it easy, okay? Darry's gonna be okay, baby."

I could hear Soda comfort our little brother, but there was something off. Something wasn't right. Something had happened, but I couldn't place it because of the goddamned pain. I held my breath; my body on fire with the excruciating feeling of being crushed into pieces.

"Darry, it's gonna be okay. Just take a deep breath. I'm right here. You're gonna be okay; I gotcha." I felt Soda whisper against my ear, and it made me want to cry.

"Mr. Curtis! We're moving you over to the other stretcher, okay? It's going to hurt a bit, but we've got you. You're gonna be okay."

I tried to open my eyes, but the light was too bright, and it felt like they were glued shut along with something making them sting. There were unfamiliar voices all around me, and incessant screaming that was shrill and wearing down my last nerve. I was ready to give everything I owned to make the screaming stop; not realizing that the screaming was coming from me.

"Okay, let's move him on the count of three. One. Two. Three."

I felt my voice give out; the dry aching scratch giving way to panic. Where were my brothers? They were right beside me on that couch, watching the pretty girls on the TV. Where were they now? What happened, and why couldn't I remember? Why couldn't I move without this blinding pain?

"Stay with us Mr. Curtis."

I heard the voice, and through the fog of hurt I could feel hands all over me—poking, prodding, pulling, and pushing. With each jostle there was more screaming. My throat felt as raw and exposed as the rest of me, but I couldn't stop.

"Soda! Where're my brothers?"

"Anyone else in the vehicle with him?"

"This arm is shot. I can't get a line in. You gotta good site over there?"

"Nope. Try his neck. Did you call surgery? We need them down here now!"

There were more voices; urgent and anxious around and over me and it was all too familiar. I'd been here before. I was the spectator; pushed back and kept aside as a myriad of professionals in medical garb surrounded my beaten, half-dead and defiled baby brother, and worked tirelessly to keep his fragile body going until the angels up in intensive care were able to take over. But it wasn't Ponyboy laying on the gurney with what felt like a body crushed to a pulp and a thousand different hands moving around and making the pain feel worse.

"Hold up!"

"Please…" I managed to croak out when I felt someone gently lift open my eyelid.

"Wait wait wait wait wait!"

"Wrong patient, doc! Yours is in pod one."

"Hey, what's going on? I know this man; he's my friend! What the hell happened?"

"Truck versus train."

"Oh, Jesus! Darry! Oh shit, Darry!"

I tried to respond, but I could only groan out in agony.

"It's okay. You're going to feel better real soon! They've got some morphine coming, alright? Can you hear me? I'm right here, Darry. I'm right here, buddy!" I could feel his fingers card through my hair.

"Greg…" I grunted as I felt more hands prodding. I was starting to feel cold.

"I'm right here, Darry. I'm right here. Do you remember what happened?"

I tried to shake my head, but I couldn't feel if I'd managed it or not. I couldn't feel anything except for the incessant torture that wouldn't let up its grip on my body.

"Darry, have you been drinking?"

"No. I didn't do it. Tell Two-Bit I didn't. I was gonna, but he was right..." My throat felt thick as I felt myself drifting.

"Shhh…it's okay. I'll tell him. Darry? Darry, you hang in there! Don't you dare give up! Can you hear me?"

"It's okay, Darry. Us three against the world, remember? It's gonna be okay."

I could hear his voice as clear as day; soft and comforting next to my face.

"Soda…" I managed to croak before the lights stopped being so bright.

Darry & Ponyboy,

Gosh, but this has got to be the hardest thing I've ever had to write. I mean, they say it's a good idea in case you know, something goes wrong and I'm hurt too bad to make it home. I guess it's just hard to picture it. Not coming home I mean. But I guess if you're reading this, then it's happened and that's what makes this so hard because I don't know what to say to you to make it better.

It kills me to think I wouldn't be around for the two of you. I hope you both know how crazy I am about you! I don't even know how this heaven/hell thing is gonna work out for me if I can't be near you guys. I need you. I miss you like crazy and the thought if spending the rest of eternity missing you like this ain't really a great sell for the whole death thing. I can't stand to think of you getting the news and I'm not even there to hug you and tell you that it's gonna be okay. I won't be able to make you feel better. I hate it!

I try to stay focused on what I'm doing over here, but the thought eventually crosses my mind after seeing what I've seen. I know I'm in a war, and people die. I've had guys die on me when I've done everything I could, but I ain't God and I don't have all the answers. If I did, I guess I wouldn't be here in the first place. But it's hard to think about bein' dead for myself, like what happens? Is that it for me? Or do I go up to heaven and hang out with mom and dad and Jesus? It's crazy, so I thought long about it, and I wanna be buried next to mom and dad. I think I'll feel better about it—if it happens—if I'm next to them. Plus, if I'm close to them I won't have to go searching for them for long. They'll be right there. Kind of a win win thing right?

I guess maybe I shouldn't get all worked up over all this. This letter is just what everyone told me to do. Just in case. Everything's gonna be okay, but I guess there's that chance and maybe the odds are stacked against me, I just don't want you thinking I gave up or that I didn't try. I'm tryin' to make it out of here every time I open my eyes. Every time a man goes down, I pray to God I get to go home. Maybe I'm a coward because of it, but I don't know if there're heroes over here like the two I got at home. You two are it. You save me everyday, just thinkin' about what I got to go home to. You save me.

Everybody wants a happy ending, but we know better than anybody that it don't always work that way. I know I got no right, because you know exactly what a bawl baby I am, and if the roles were reversed and it was Darry here instead of me I don't know what I'd do. I just don't want you to be sad. I can't stand the thought of it breaking you down. I ain't no hero like you two, but this is sort of the hero's part, right? And death is just sort of the last part of life. We don't get a say when or how it happens. Be brave like I already know you are. Wake up every day and know that I love you guys, and I'm over here so you guys can go on and be happy. Do that for me. Take care of each other for me, because that's what I want. It's what I always wanted.

I have one last favor. Please look out for Sandy and Jack? I know I don't gotta ask, but I will anyway. I want Jack to know his uncles. It's important to me that he knows where he comes from and I know Sandy's gonna tell him about me and all that, but you two know me in a different way ya dig? I bet there's lots of crazy stories you can tell him about when we were kids. I don't want him living in a world where he doesn't know you guys. I mean you too, Pony. Take care of my boy for me. Keep him close—I'm counting on you.

Well guys, I guess that's it. Family is everything, so I need you to keep lookin' out for each other. Darry, stay patient with Pony and Pony, be patient too and know how much you mean to Darry. I sure am gonna miss ya. I love you.

Sodapop