It's nearly Halloween, so our friends (Charles, Drew, Stu, and Howard) get dressed up for the annual swap meet. There, they all meet familiar faces, but no face sways Charles more than Melinda Cavanaugh, whom he hasn't seen in ten years! Will he be her knight in shining armor?

By the way, you'll notice a lot of shout-outs to Puccini's "La Bohême" from this point onward.

Ten years had passed since Chas, Drew, and Melinda graduated from Eucaipah High School. Melinda and her father had since moved back to the countryside. Mr. Cavanaugh was out of his cast, but the car accident had rendered him permanently disabled; he had to walk with a cane, and even then, he always walked with a limp.

In October of 1985, Melinda and her father were preparing for their annual swap meet, where they would sell produce and decorated items to all who cared to come. This year, Didi and her parents came along to help.

Melinda said to her friend, "Didi, I'm so glad you and your parents came along to help."

"Yeah," Didi replied. "Mom and Dad are always a good help whenever they're called upon."

And indeed, Didi's parents, Boris and Minka Kropotkin, were setting the tables by carefully placing tablecloths on top of them.

Meanwhile, Didi was having a conversation with Melinda: "Do you think Charles knows about this? Our old friends haven't seen you since you graduated ten years ago."

Melinda sighed, "What does it matter?"

"What does it matter?" repeated Minka incredulously. "Surely, he must know how much you still love him."

Boris added, "And believe me, someday very, very soon, your knight in shining armor will return and sweep you off your feet!"

"As Boris here did with me so many years ago…" sighed Minka affectionately.

Boris began to blush as Minka kissed his cheek.

"Oh, but when? When?" groaned Melinda.

"Patience, Melinda, patience," Didi answered. "Remember, absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Or go yonder. Oh, I've been away so long. What if he's forgotten all about me?"

Meanwhile, however, at the Finster household, Chas was sitting at home, looking wistfully at old childhood photos of himself and Melinda during their elementary-school days. As he gazed at each photo, he gave a long, sad sigh. Chas had always hoped that someday Melinda would return, though with the passage of time, he felt that it was unlikely he would ever see her again.

Presently, he heard a knock on his door. Could this be Melinda?

But no, when Chas opened the door, he saw that it was Drew, his old classmate.

"Drew?" asked Chas with surprise. "What are you doing here?"

Drew replied, "I came here to see you because I heard that you were thinking about Melinda again." He then looked at Chas' face and chuckled, "By the way, I see that you trimmed your mustache."

"It's not important. What's important is… I saw Charlotte the other day."

"Really? By the new Mega Corp building?"

"Didn't you hear? She's the CEO there!"

"Well, I'm glad to hear about it."

Chas chortled, "Liar! You're fretting and fuming that you haven't seen her for so long!"

"CEO, I see? By the way, do you know who I saw?" asked Drew.

"Charlotte?"

"No, Melinda."

"You saw Melinda?"

"Yes, she was getting ready for the annual swap meet. It's this Saturday, I hear."

"Now, I'm glad to hear about that."

"Could have fooled me," Drew said to himself. "You still miss her!"

Chas was taken aback. "Hey! I heard that!"

"Well, it's true. You're probably looking at old photos of her from childhood while listening to Puccini as we speak!"

"I am not!" cried Chas as he placed a record on his record player and played the music. It was indeed Puccini—specifically, the duet "O Mimi, tu più non torni" from Act IV of La Bohême. Since it had been his first opera, Chas had bought a record album of Sir Thomas Beecham conducting the opera with the roles sung by a myriad of great opera singers from the 1950's (this particular album had been recorded in 1956).

As Chas gazed at his photo album and thought about the fun times he had had with Melinda, he heard a brilliant tenor voice singing:

"O Mimì, tu più non torni.
O giorni belli,
piccole mani, odorosi capelli…"

Chas thought about it all: her arrival in the neighborhood with her father back in fourth grade, their school play, their visit to the Multiplex Opera House in sixth grade…

Drew in turn looked at an old high-school photo of Charlotte as a sturdy but lyrical baritone voice sang, the tenor soon joining him:

"Io non so come sia
che il mio pennello lavori
e impasti colori contro voglia mia."

"…collo di neve! Ah! Mimì,
mia breve gioventù."

As Drew thought about his relationship with Charlotte during high school, he heard the baritone sing:

"Se pingere mi piace
o cieli o terre
o inverni o primavere,
egli mi traccia due pupille nere
e una bocca procace,
e n'esce di Musetta il viso ancor…"

Drew thought about how he and Charlotte would go out on dates, how they would argue over petty differences, how they would dance lovingly at his senior prom…

Chas and Drew thought of their respective girlfriends as the tenor and baritone mingled their voices together in harmony:

Tenor: "E tu, cuffietta lieve,
che sotto il guancial partendo
ascose, tutta sai
la nostra felicità,
vien sul mio cor,
sul mio cor morto, vien,
ah, vien sul mio cor,
poiché è morto amor."

Baritone: "E n'esce di Musetta il viso
tutto vezzi e tutto frode.
Musetta intanto gode
e il mio cuor vile
la chiama, la chiama ed aspetta
il vil mio cuor."

It's true. Chas really did miss Melinda, and Drew really did miss Charlotte. Each man couldn't help but cry a little as he wondered if he would ever see his beloved again.

Suddenly, who should break this moment of nostalgia but Stu and Howard?

"Hey, boys," said Stu.

Howard asked, "How's it going?"

"Not so good," sighed Drew.

"I miss Melinda," moaned Chas. "I know I should get over her, but I really miss her… I just felt like she was the one."

"Well, you don't have to be upset," said Stu. "Didn't you hear about the swap meet they're having this Saturday?"

"Yeah… How did you know?"

"Didi told me all about it. Maybe you should talk to Melinda if you see her there."

"Yeah, right," said Chas sadly. "What do you think I should say to her? 'Hey, remember me? We've known each other since fourth grade. Will you marry me?' I don't think I'm in her league anymore…"

But Howard said, "It's close to Halloween, so… we get to go in costume…"

And so, the next day, Chas, Drew, Stu, and Howard shouted together, "To the costume shop!"

Each man went through the shop to find and purchase his costume. Stu thought of going as a bullfighter, Drew as Julius Caesar, and Howard as a cowboy.

But Chas? He topped them all. As he looked all through the costume shop, he spotted the perfect costume: a knight in shining armor.

"Wow!" he gasped. "Would you look at that… I should look way more impressive as a knight than as plain old me!"

And he imagined how he would look at that swap meet, astride a charger, impressing everyone present. He imagined jousting at a tournament, battling with dragons, or perhaps even slicing the beef roast with his sword…

"Ah, yes. I would do all those things if I were a knight, instead of a nerd! I'd feel special! In fact, come Saturday, I will feel special!"

Saturday morning came, and all who came to the swap meet were dressed in their costumes, dressed as anything from werewolves to vampires to fairy princesses. Stu was a bullfighter, Drew was Julius Caesar, Howard was a cowboy, and Chas was a knight in shining armor.

"Stu, do you have to dress up as Escamillo?" asked Chas.

Stu replied, "What? This is my favorite Halloween costume. Remember my freshman year?"

"Oh, yeah," chuckled Chas.

As Drew approached Chas, Chas said, "Oh, hail Caesar!"

"Hail me," said Drew. "Now, where shall we get something to eat?"

Howard replied, "I hear they're selling organic produce over there. We should try it!"

Stu raised an eyebrow. "Are there any berries?" he asked.

"Well, we'll just have to find out," said Drew. "Let's go."

And so, the four men went to the organic produce to buy something to eat.

Meanwhile, Melinda, dressed as a medieval princess, was selling organic produce alongside her father and Didi's parents. She didn't look very happy because she didn't see Chas.

"Come on, Melinda," said Christian as he leaned towards his daughter. "Lighten up. Your knight will come along to see you, just as I met your own mother back in '52."

"What does it matter?" asked Melinda. "Charles probably doesn't know about this event anyway."

Minka replied, "Relax, bubbeleh, your sales are going well, your father's looking sharp as a tack considering his accident ten years ago, and your knight in shining armor may be here any moment now."

Not too far from there, Chas was walking around, not very fast, looking all around. Then, all of a sudden, Chas came across Melinda's produce stand.

Melinda looked up and saw Chas dressed as a knight. "Charles?"

Chas in turn saw Melinda dressed as a princess. "Melinda?"

Chas took one look at Melinda's pretty face and broke out into a cold sweat. He couldn't even speak, let alone breathe! For neither he nor Melinda knew that he was allergic to the adzuki beans on Melinda's stand. Chas collapsed to the ground, and his tongue swelled up to the size of a football!

Everyone who saw this was horrified, and most of them, including Stu, Drew, Howard, Boris, and Minka, feared that Chas was going to die then and there!

"Is this the end for Chas?" cried Stu.

"What are we gonna do?!" cried Drew.

"Does anyone know mouth-to-mouth resuscitation?!" cried Boris.

And just when Chas thought he was going to croak, Melinda knew what to do. She approached him, pressed her mouth against his, and blew air into his lungs. All who saw this looked on in amazement.

Once Chas' tongue had shrunk down to normal size, he took a deep breath and said to Melinda, "Thanks for saving my life, Melinda."

"Mine's the pleasure, Charles," Melinda replied. Then, she knew who she was talking to and shouted with joy, "Charles!"

"Melinda!" Chas cried out, and he and Melinda shared an embrace. Tears streamed down his face as he said to her, "I missed you so much!"

Melinda frowned. "I'm sorry, Charles. Is something wrong?"

"They're tears of joy!" he chuckled as he dried his tears. "Ten years is a long time, Melinda."

Melinda then smiled, pulled Chas up off the ground, and said to him, "I missed you too, my knight in shining armor."

All who saw this were touched, some of them shedding tears of joy themselves.

Chas then turned to his friends and said, "Stu, Drew, Howard! This is our friend Melinda!"

"Hey, guys!" she said to the other men.

"Melinda!" cried Drew.

"We thought you were long gone!" shouted Stu.

"So, what should we do?" asked Howard.

Melinda replied, "Why don't we go around the place? See what's going on both here and nearby."

As Chas, Melinda, Drew, Stu, and Howard all left the stand, her father saw this and sighed, "Young love…"

When they had gone a ways, the five young people came to a cornfield.

"This is the corn maze," said Melinda. "My dad and I have enjoyed making this since I graduated high school. So, what do you say?"

"I say we should go in!" cried Stu.

"Me too," said Drew.

But Howard looked at a man riding a bucking bronco not too far from there and said to his friends, "Actually, I'd much prefer to go on a rodeo! See ya guys later." And he went to the rodeo pen, to the amazement of Chas, Melinda, Stu, and Drew.

Presently, Stu turned around and saw Didi, dressed like a Spanish gypsy. Wearing a white blouse and a long, red skirt, she was entertaining some guests by playing the tambourine to a recording of the Gypsy Song from Bizet's Carmen!

Stu was entranced, and he said to Chas, Melinda, and Drew, "Would you mind going in for me? Romance awaits!" And he left to see Didi.

"Well, I guess it's just us three, Chas," said Drew.

"Let's go in, then!" cried Chas.

And he, Melinda, and Drew went into the maze.

Each of the three went this way and that way, all through this labyrinth of corn stalks. No one knew where the others were, but at least Chas could hear Melinda's voice.

"Where can the exit be?" she was heard to ask.

Presently, Chas found the exit and let out a gasp.

"Did you find it?" asked Melinda.

"No," he fibbed.

"But I thought…"

"I mean it."

Chas then went a short way into the maze and saw Melinda looking for the exit.

"Are you looking?" she asked him.

"I sure am," Chas replied as he gazed at Melinda.

At 28 years old, Chas Finster was in love with the girl who had been his long-time childhood friend. Soon, in Chas' imagination, the corn maze at day gave way to a Belle-Époque Parisian garret at night. Chas became Rodolfo, the impoverished poet who wore a brown jacket, brown pants, dark brown shoes, and a bright red scarf. And Melinda became Mimi, the young seamstress who wore a dull pink dress and a mesh net shawl.

As Melinda groped all over the garret for a key, Chas stealthily approached her, impetuously took her by the hand, and started to sing, in a surprisingly clear and beautiful tenor voice (this was Chas' imagination, after all):

"Che gelida manina!
Se la lasci riscaldar.
Cercar che giova?
Al buio non si trova.
Ma per fortuna
è una notte di luna,
e qui la luna l'abbiamo vicina.
Aspetti, signorina,
le dirò con due parole chi son,
chi son, e che faccio, come vivo.
Vuole?
Chi son? Chi son? Sono un poeta.
Che cosa faccio? Scrivo.
E come vivo? Vivo.
In povertà mia lieta
scialo da gran signore
rime ed inni d'amore.
Per sogni e per chimere
e per castelli in aria
l'anima ho milionaria.
Talor dal mio forziere
ruban tutti i gioielli
due ladri: gli occhi belli.
V'entrar con voi pur ora
ed i miei sogni usati,
ed i bei sogni miei
tosto si dileguar!
Ma il furto non m'accora
poiché, poiché v'ha preso stanza
la speranza.
Or che mi conoscete
parlate voi. Deh parlate.
Chi siete? Vi piaccia dir?"

Melinda sang, in a warm and cheerful soprano voice:

"Sì. Mi chiamano Mimì,
ma il mio nome è Lucia.
La storia mia è breve.
A tela o a seta
ricamo in casa e fuori.
Son tranquilla e lieta,
ed è mio svago
far gigli e rose.
Mi piaccion quelle cose
che han sì dolce malia,
che parlano d'amor, di primavere,
che parlano di sogni e di chimere,
quelle cose che han nome poesia…
Lei m'intende?"

"Sì," sighed Chas.

Melinda continued:

"Mi chiamano Mimì.
Il perché non so.
Sola, mi fo il pranzo
da me stessa.
Non vado sempre a messa,
ma prego assai il Signor.
Vivo sola, soletta,
là in una bianca cameretta;
guardo sui tetti e in cielo.
Ma quando vien lo sgelo
il primo sole è mio,
il primo bacio dell'aprile è mio!
Il primo sole è mio.
Germoglia in un vaso una rosa,
foglia a foglia l'aspiro.
Così gentil è il profumo d'un fior.
Ma i fior ch'io faccio, ahimè,
i fior ch'io faccio,
ahimè non hanno odore.
Altro di me non le saprei narrare.
Sono la sua vicina
che la vien fuori d'ora a importunare."

Just as Chas and Melinda were about to share a kiss, however, they heard Drew's voice shouting, "Chas! Chas! Can't you hear me?!"

Yes, Drew snapped Chas and Melinda out of their fantasy and back into reality. Chas was back in his knight costume, and Melinda was back in her princess costume.

"We've gotta find the exit, ya slowpoke!" cried Drew.

"Oh," said Chas. "I know where it is."

And so, Chas led Melinda and Drew out of the corn maze via the exit. Once they were outside, they saw Stu with Didi by her side.

"Hey, guys," said Stu.

Chas asked him, "How's it going, Stu?"

"Great, actually! Didi and I just won a number of games in a row!"

"What kind of games?" asked Melinda.

"Oh, you know," said Didi, "ring toss, go-fish, even horseshoes!"

Stu then said, "So, Didi, wanna have some lunch at the Café Momus, if you know what I mean?"

There just happened to be a snack bar called "Café Momus" nearby.

"That would be nice, Stu," said Didi, and she and Stu went to the snack bar together.

Just then, Drew said to Chas, "You know what, I'm gonna go there too… I see Charlotte over there!"

And indeed, Charlotte was seated at the snack bar, dressed like Cleopatra and talking to Jonathan on her then-new brick phone: "Jonathan, I really need to go now. I'm having lunch with my high-school sweetheart."

As Drew sat next to Charlotte, Chas imagined Drew as Marcello, the grumpy painter who was Rodolfo's best friend, and Charlotte as Musetta, Marcello's on-again-off-again girlfriend. And of course, Jonathan was Alcindoro, a pompous old fellow who always accompanied Musetta.

Charlotte sang "Musetta's Waltz" in the saucy tones of a soprano voice that was stuck in Chas' head ever since the sixth grade:

"Quando men' vo,
quando men' vo soletta
per la via,
la gente sosta e mira,
e la bellezza mia
tutta ricerca in me,
ricerca in me da capo a piè."

Drew cried out, "Legatemi alla seggiola!"

Jonathan grumbled, "Quella gente che dirà?"

Charlotte continued her song:

"Ed assaporo allor la bramosia
sottil che dagli occhi traspira
e dai palesi vezzi intender sa
alle occulte beltà.
Cosi l'effluvio del desio
tutta m'aggira.
Felice mi fa, felice mi fa."

Now Jonathan was enraged:

"Quel canto scurrile
mi muove la bile,
mi muove la bile!"

Charlotte sang some more:

"E tu che sai, che memori e ti struggi,
da me tanto rifuggi?
So ben: le angoscie tue
non le vuoi dir,
ma ti senti morir."

As Charlotte sang, Melinda whispered to Chas:

"Io vedo ben che quella poveretta
tutta invaghita di Marcello ell'è!"

At the end of "Musetta's Waltz," Charlotte was hugging Drew, who returned the embrace.

And that's when Chas' mind switched back to reality. Drew and Charlotte were no longer Marcello and Musetta, but they were Caesar and Cleopatra.

Melinda then gazed at Chas and said, "I think there's something here that might interest the both of us."

She was referring to a jousting arena for those who were trying out for the annual Renaissance Festival.

"Wow!" gasped Chas as he saw it. "If I could joust in the arena, I could be a true knight!"

Chas then said to Melinda, "Come along, then, milady. I pray that thou takest me by the arm."

Linking her arm with his arm, Melinda replied, "I obey thee, Sir Charles!"

"Then thou lovest me?"

"Yes, I love thee."

And they went into the arena together.

Meanwhile, in the rodeo pen, Howard was having a considerably difficult time controlling his horse.

"Help! Help!" he cried. He screamed at his horse, "Whoa! Down, boy! Down!"

But the horse wouldn't listen. He was determined to get Howard off of him! And so, he did! Howard the cowboy was sent flying into a nearby haystack! All those who saw this were howling with laughter.

Betty, dressed as a cowgirl, saw the whole thing, and she went to haystack and said to Howard, "Hey, do I know you?"

As soon as Howard saw Betty, he remembered how annoying she had been to him when they were in grade school, and he cried out, "Oh, no! Not Betty! No!"

But as Howard squirmed, he was surprised to find that Betty was trying to help him out of the hay. And once she got him out of the hay, he began to think, "I guess she really likes me after all…"

Back in the jousting arena, at 2 pm, all in the swap meet came to the tournament. And one of the adversaries was none other than Chas Finster, a.k.a. Sir Charles. He mounted his horse, grabbed his lance, lowered his visor, and rode out into the arena.

The other guy, a huge, muscular knight astride a charger, felt confident that he was going to cream Sir Charles like a chef creams corn.

As soon as the trumpeter sounded his horn, the two knights charged at each other. At first, Sir Charles was losing his confidence because of how big his opponent was…

But as soon as he saw his fair Lady Melinda, waving her handkerchief at him, he smiled. Boosted by his love for a pretty lady, Sir Charles lowered his lance, drove his horse at full charge, and headed straight for his opponent, who thought he was crazy!

CRASH!

Sir Charles had knocked his opponent off his horse. In any less chivalrous affairs, Chas would have been allowed to beat the tar out of that big lummox! But Sir Charles refused. He spared his opponent, and why? Because he was a true knight.

And the audience, especially Lady Melinda, loved him for it…

Chas decided to celebrate his victory by rearing up his horse in triumph. However, he found the horse's rearing position unstable, and he fell off his horse and to his feet, whereupon he slipped in some mud.

Chas wasn't hurt, but he was covered with mud. The entire audience laughed. Even Melinda couldn't help but giggle at the sight. But she stopped laughing as soon as she saw that Chas was flushed with embarrassment.

So, to the astonishment of everyone else, Melinda got up from her seat and approached Chas.

"Are you okay, Sir Charles?" she asked.

Chas replied, grinning bashfully, "Oh, heh-heh, sorry, milady. I fell in the mud."

"Well, as soon as you've cleaned yourself off, I'd like to invite you on a date next Saturday. Is that okay with you?"

Chas gave an ear-to-ear grin and sighed, "I'd be glad to, milady!"

And so, Melinda helped him out of the mud and led him out the arena, saying, "Come to my backyard. We have a hose there that's sure to spray you nice and clean."

And in her father's backyard, Melinda sprayed Chas with the hose to clean him off. This made Chas laugh, not only because he was very ticklish, but because he always liked taking shower baths to keep himself nice and clean.

That night, once everyone had had their fun, it was time for our friends to go home.

Chas was carrying an old American flag while Howard on the fife and Stu and Drew on the drums were playing "The Girl I Left Behind Me." Behind them, Charlotte was talking to Jonathan on her brick phone, Boris and Minka were holding hands, and Didi and Betty were carrying Melinda on their shoulders.

Presently, however, Chas had an idea. Since he was a knight, he should sweep Melinda off her feet, so he left his position, leaving Boris with the flag.

And so, Chas, Melinda's knight in shining armor, mounted his charger, took Melinda off Didi and Betty's shoulders, and placed her on the horse as well. Chas and Melinda embraced each other, because they were in love with each other.

For the first time in ten years, all the friends were paired: Stu and Didi, Drew and Charlotte, Howard and Betty, and especially, Chas and Melinda. Within five years, these four couples would go on dates, get married, and have children of their own, but all that is another story.