When.

No longer if.

I was going to tell her. I had to tell her.

It's all I could think about on the walk back to the house. I barely registered the movement when I opened the door and held it for her, then bid her good night and leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

It felt so normal, so natural, and I didnt remember until after I'd done it that we didn't have that type of relationship.

I turned back around to apologize, but she'd disappeared into her room and closed the door.

I couldnt sleep that night, my mind too busy with the decision that I'd made, and the words that Ciir'sae had said.

She's so crazy in love with you, Ben.

Her being in love with me was impossible. People as good and beautiful as Rey didnt fall in love with creatures like me.

But, I couldnt stop thinking about my force vision, and her force vision, and the fact that she asked me to stay with her. She'd comforted me, guided me through my nightmare induced panic attack, and made no move to stop me when I touched, or in tonight's case, kissed her.

I felt the Bond tremble, and I lifted my head up, looking with wide eyes into the pitch black.

It was Rey. But, she wasn't in my room.

I reach out to her in the Force, and found her in her own bed, asleep.

And dreaming.

Her breathing hitched, and I moved to get up, to wake her from one of her nightmares, but then she sighed.

I stopped, easing back into my bed and heard her whisper through the Bond "Ben."

I fell asleep dreaming of the idea that maybe Rey loving me wasnt so impossible after all.

oOo

The next morning, I walked into the dining room, expecting to find Rey, but found the service droids cleaning off the table.

I walked around the house, not finding her, then stepped out on to the balcony.

A flash of blue by the lakeshore caught my eye. I looked, finding Rey, training with her lightsaber.

I asked for a light breakfast, finishing it in three bites, and changed into my clean clothes from Hoth, grabbing my own lightsaber and running down.

I ran up behind her, and she spun, bringing her saber down. I ignited mine, and brought it up in just enough time to block her blow..

"There you are." She said, panting. "I've been waiting on you for an hour." She moved, and we lowered our sabers.

"Well," I shrugged. "If I had known we were training today I wouldve been here on time."

She rushed forward, and I spun, throwing off her balance as she brought her saber down. She recovered quickly, and blocked my wide swing.

I dropped into a low crouch and came up, under her defenses. She spun a pirouette just before my blade could reach her, and cut a gracefully arching line that I had to bend backwards to avoid, feeling the heat of her saber as it sailed over the bare skin of my throat.

She followed with a low thrust, and I slashed down on her saber, driving its tip into the sand.

Her saber let out an angry hiss. She sheathed the blade, twirled the hilt to her left hand, and ignited it again, bringing it up, and around, and stopping a mere inch from my throat.

She grinned smugly. "Yield."

I answered with a fury of thrusts and blows that drove her back, immediately putting her on the defensive.

She swung her saber out to deflect my arching blow, but became over balanced on the block, and her arm went wide.

I thrust forward before she had a chance to recover, and pointed my blade in the middle of her chest. "Yield." I purred.

She launched a blinding uppercut swing, making me rock back on my heels. She followed with a downward slice.

I tried to get my blade up, but she swung, hitting the back of my hand with the hilt of her own weapon, and my saber went flying, landing in the sand several feet away.

I lost my footing, stumbled, and landed on the flat of my back.

She called my blade to her, ignited it, and crossed it over her own blade, putting the tips over both of my shoulders. "Yield." She panted.

I kicked at her feet with my leg, knocking her off balance, and leapt easily to my feet, calling my saber to me. I ignited it in enough time to block a short jab she aimed toward my belly, and

caught her wrist when she swung her blade down.

I anticipated her to drop her saber just to switch hands, as she'd done before, and pinned her other arm under mine. She swung her leg, bringing her heel into the back of my knee it buckled with the force of the blow.

I fell back, taking her with me, and we fell to the ground.

She retaliated quickly, locking my hips between her knees so that I couldn't move the lower half of my body, but I pulled her closer, flipping her onto her back, and gripped her wrists in both of my hands.

She gasped, looking up at me, and I realized that I was on top of her, with her legs cradling me between them.

"I yield." She breathed, and I released her immediately, sitting back in my feet.

She stared up at me, her face flushed, her chest heaving, and I offered her my hand, and she took it.

I pulled her up, and we sat there for a long moment as we tried to catch our breath.

"That was," She panted. "Good."

I nodded. "You, too."

She stood, brushing the sand off of her, and I followed suit.

She turned, and walked toward the lake, not slowing as she waded into the water to her knees, then bent down, and used both hands to cup water and wash the sweat off of her face.

I noticed then that she was in a pair of stretchy grey pants, and a white top made of the same material, clinging to her like a second skin.

"What now?" I asked, and she pivoted to look at me.

"Feel like a hike?" She offered, nodding toward the forest surrounding the lake.

I agreed, and we set off.

We hiked in silence for half an hour and she said abruptly. "Are we ever going to talk about yesterday?"

I stopped, and she turned to face me. "What about yesterday?"

"Your force vision." She reminded me.

Oh. That.

Yes, we did need to talk about that.

"Alright." I crossed my arms over my chest. "What about it?"

"We're...together." She blurted.

"Yes." I agreed, prompting her to go on.

"In your vision we're together." She clarified. "Like, together, together. And, I'm-" She blushed a deep red.

"I know." I told her, saving her from having to continue. "Listen, it doesnt mean anything." I assured her. "I know that's not something that you want."

Her eyes widened. "Not something I want? How could you say that? Even think that?"

My forehead crinkled. "Why wouldnt I think that?"

She looked hurt. Like what I said had wounded her and that confused me further. "Rey, I offered that to you, in the throne room." I reminded her. "And, instead of taking my hand, you stole my grandfather's lightsaber and left me for dead."

Her bottom lip trembled and her eyes watered, and the sight was like a solid punch to my chest.

"That's what you think happened?" She gasped, tears streaking down her face.

"No, I dont think that's what happened, I was there." I said. "I remember."

"You didnt offer me a life with you in the light with a family." She argued, her voice thick. "You offered me a dark throne to rule the galaxy at your side like some sort of wicked sorceress."

"I offered you me." I countered, getting angry, "And we could have had any life you wanted," My own voice shook as hot tears blurred my vision. "You could've just told me what you wanted, and I would have given it to you. I would've done anything if it would make you happy. And, I begged you, begged you, to just take my hand and I would've given you everything. And you didnt!"

"But, I wanted to." She admitted, and my entire world shattered.

Tears spilled over onto my cheeks, as I stared at her, my mouth hanging open.

"What?" I gasped.

'I wanted to take your hand." She said, her voice quaking. "Ben's hand. And, what you saw in your vision is what I want." Her gaze lowered to my lips. "It's what I've always wanted."

She wanted me? A life with me?

No, this was too much.

I felt as if the ground was going to swallow me whole.

Rey. Rey. The most perfect woman to ever exist wanted me.

She'd seen what I'd done, and she still wanted me.

I looked up, to see her go perfectly still, listening as she scanned the trees.

I opened my mouth to ask her what was wrong when I felt it, too.

The other Force signature.

Someone was in the woods, tracking, no, hunting us. Not us.

Rey.

Her head whipped to the side, her teeth bared, and then she blinked, and her face fell.

Her conflicted emotions rattled the Bond, as she stared.

Dread sent ice through my veins as I looked to my left at the figure Rey's eyes were locked on.

At FN-2187.