I am writing fanfiction, I don't own any of the universes or characters that I am playing with here.
Categories: Dragon Age, Dragonriders of Pern and Stargate :SG1.
Mages of Pern Verse - Rules for Guests
"Before you enter the village we have a list of rules and punishments you should hear." Nathaniel's voice was deadpan serious as he unrolled the scroll.
"Firstly, if you are a Templar declare it now. Failure to do so will be treated as a hostile move and you will be fireballed." Jack raised his eyebrow but Nathaniel looked completely serious.
"Secondly, if you are a member of the Chantry declare it now. Failure to do so will be treated as a hostile move and you will be fireballed." Jack looked amused, Nathaniel was just reciting.
'Thirdly, if you have an Chantry artefacts, meaning any Chantry books, anything with Chantry symbols or the verse from the Chant of Light on it declare it now. Failure to do so will treated as a hostile move and we will douse it in grease, give it to you to hold onto and set it on fire." Jack looked like he might be considering if Nathaniel was serious.
"Fourthly, should you attempt to preach and persuade that Mages are dangerous creatures that need to contained and controlled we shall take that to mean you are attempting to martyr yourself and shall oblige your wish. You will be burned at the stake and unlike Andraste, who we hold was likely a Mage, there will be no Sword of Mercy to grant you a swift death." Jack gave Nathaniel a disturbed look.
"Fifthly, should you attempt an Exalted March against us we will take that as a Declaration of War and consider you enemy combatants. Thus all restrictions against the use of Blood Magic will be lifted and we will let you see what those you call Maleficar can do.
Sixthly, should you attempt to bring Darkspawn Taint into our settlement without first declaring it this will be considered an attempt to infection us with the Blight. Our response to this action will to be to dump you into the most Blight Tainted lands we can find and see how long it takes you to be infected. Note that should the Taint turn you instead of kill we will wait until your mind is fully gone or you come too close to leaving the Blighted Lands to justify leaving you alive before we will put you down.
Seventhly, should you have a Darkspawn with you Declare it now. Failure to do so will be treated as an attempt to set Darkspawn on our settlement and we will dump you in the depths of the Deep Roads alive. Females will have a ten day delayed explosive switch set into them as we do not wish to populate more Broodmothers. Males will have an incendiary device that will active after the tenth day if they see light as we do not wish to spread the Blight by providing them with more Ghouls.
Eighthly, should have Lyrium with you declare it now. Failure to do so will be considered possibly hostile and smuggling and you will be kicked out of Pern.
Ninthly, should you have attempt to mine or otherwise get a hold on our Lyrium growths and stores in any way that is not strictly fair trade we will consider this a hostile move. For this reason we recommend declaring now if you wish to consider Lyrium trade with us. Thief of Lyrium stores will be considered both Thief and Lyrium Smuggling, entering the Lyrium Caves without Permission and Escort will be consider a spying and you will be banished from Pern, attempting to mine our Lyrium vein will be considered an attack and we will have a cut opened on the palm of each of your hands and we will drop you in the middle of an strong Lyrium vein in a confined space."
"Oh, let me!" Anders exclaimed with a grin, "I like these ones." He brandished the scroll then cleared his throat and put on a serious face as he read, "If you attempt to harm a cat we will let Mr Wiggum play with you."
A smile tugged at his lips, "If you deliberately injure a cat we will let Mr Wiggum hunt you."
"If you maliciously kill a cat we will let Mr Wiggum eat you." By the end of this he was full on smiling.
Just an idea that I had, not really restricted to any particular crossover with Mages of Pern verse.