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Status Update

And other things, too!

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Hello everyone and happy new year! You will all be pleased to know that after more than three years, I was finally able to start writing again and complete the Thor's Slayer series. That means my attention is now on Will of the Empire and I'll be updating it as soon as I can.

That being said:

It has been over two and a half years since I updated this story and it has not been something I frequently thought about. That means I'm going to have to reacquaint myself with this story, the numerous subplots, and determine how I can continue where I left off without leaving too many plot holes. I cannot say when this story will be updated, only that I'm actively writing once more. If I'm able to pick up where I left off with ease, my guess is that I'll be publishing a new chapter within two or three weeks.

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Alright, so let's talk about the state of Star Wars. It's been a while since I've ranted at you people, so this is going to be a doozy. Also, spoilers ahead.

The Last Jedi (60/100)

Before I begin (and isn't that just a sign of how tricky it is to talk about this movie without inciting a riot), let me start off by saying "I love Star Wars." I do, I love it in all its forms and even when I hate it, I still love it because it's Star Wars.

Looking back, I think the sequel trilogy suffered from a lack of direction and that many of the faults people found with The Last Jedi can be attributed to that. I don't think Rian Johnson is Satan in human form and I do believe, for the most part, that the movie was good from a technical standpoint. I mean, look at the prequel series (which I can look back at fondly) and you can see the very example of bad writing; Last Jedi wasn't even close to that level of cringy-ness. So, here are a few talking points:

First: Dat opening space battle. This was an opportunity for a good space battle, and we haven't really seen one since the opening of Revenge of the Sith. The battle begins with Poe making a "Yo mamma" joke (setting the standard for humor for the test of the film) but eventually get into a decent starfighter brawl. And then, out come those bombers.

Now, I'm someone who nitpicks and am well-versed in space combat in both the hard sci-fi and the more consumer/Star Wars/Star Trek variety. I can accept a lot of bullshit as long as it looks cool and at least makes some kind of sense in context. I've heard that Rian Johnson was a big WWII buff, and maybe that's the explanation behind this, but those bombers were such a shitty ass idea that I was honestly annoyed when bombs "dropped" and Rose's sister wasn't sucked into the vacuum of space. It's stupid, I know it is, but wouldn't it have been 1000x neater to have an honest-to-god capital ship battle? Not the weird chase thing that went on for the entire movie, I mean large capital ships exchanging broadsides Revenge of the Sith style. George Lucas managed it 14 years prior to the Last Jedi, could it really not be matched?

Second: In all honesty, I didn't care who Rey's parents were. I was perfectly fine with her being a nobody because I like the idea that you don't have to be a Skywalker to have great power. I do believe that The Force Awakens set that up to be a significant element to the trilogy, but that lack of direction and/or oversight meant that Rian Johnson had the freedom to do with it as he pleased.

Third: Alright, and now the part that I believe most people can agree on: Canto fucking Bight. For one reason or another, this scene just dragged out too long. Never in any Star Wars movie have I ever looked at my watch and wondered how much time was left. The idea of showing the gritty side of the 1% was neat in theory, I guess. But honestly, I didn't much care and it wasn't executed in such a way that it made me want to care.

Benicio Del Toro's character was alright. A little more screen time with him, cutting down on Rose yapping about the rich and famous, and I would've been happier.

The fact that the whole subplot amounted to nothing bothered me a bit, but I was so annoyed with Admiral Holdo that it didn't really register. Poe mutinying against Holdo was a bit extreme, but kind of understandable given her lack of transparency and the Resistance slowly being cut to pieces. Jeez, when Poe straight up asked her if she had a plan, she didn't answer and instead went off on how she knew men like him and blah blah blah.

I'll grant you that Poe was acting insubordinate and it wasn't his place to make demands on the leadership, but if Holdo had simply said, "Yes, we have a plan", then that would've been that.

Fourth: Finn and Rose. I like Finn and while I didn't dislike Rose, I feel like their weird relationship just didn't mesh. More importantly, when Finn was prepared to make his ultimate sacrifice and Rose ran into him to save him, therefore allowing the Death Star tank thing to blast a hole in the Rebel's base. Her cheesy "It's about saving the ones we love" followed by what looked like the most awkward kiss ever just sealed the deal that they truly annoyed me.

I didn't want Finn to die, but the way he was about to die was really kind of perfect. Maybe it's just a leftover morbid feeling from Game of Thrones, but I'm just fine with main characters dying as long as it's a good sendoff. That scene would have been a great sendoff.

Fifth: Luke.

So first off, his death. I actually didn't mind his death. Would I have preferred for him to make a triumphant return, flash his lightsaber around and defeat the entire First Order army? You're goddamn right I would. Even though we didn't get that, the surprise display of his power was epic enough that I was satisfied. It was kind of weird that he died (maybe his Force bar went down to 0?), but whatever, I was happy.

And now we get to the bit that was the final nail in the coffin, the thing that made The Last Jedi one of my least favorite Star Wars movies. Luke has forever been the very symbol of hope and the unwavering belief in the possibility of redemption...and he was going murder his own student, his own nephew in his sleep. The idea that he was going to do it in the hope that he could save the galaxy from another evil like his father or Palpatine makes little sense to me when he was willing to accept the idea that his father could be redeemed when Ben, though touched by darkness, hadn't fully embraced the Dark Side.

I've heard others justify it and I just can't accept it. I believe Luke was maligned and as someone who grew up with the OT, it was just too much.

Next, we have the very fact he was in exile. In Force Awakens, there was a hidden, secret map in two pieces that would lead to Luke Skywalker. R2-D2 happened to locate the piece and wake himself the moment that a new student revealed herself. But in Last Jedi, it's revealed that Luke isn't waiting, he doesn't have a plan, he just went to Ahch-To to die. And there's the lack of direction issue that I first mentioned. If the series of events in Force Awakens hadn't led to Luke Skywalker being found oh so timely with a pair of map parts, then there wouldn't have been expectation for him to have been doing something meaningful.

Finally, and this is less about him as much as it is about the standard of humor in this movie, that stupid scene where he's milking the sea cow thing. I didn't find it funny, I don't think it was meant as a scene to inform the audience how he survived, and it was so cringey that I actually closed my eyes and waited for it to be over. That type of humor in a Star Wars movie can be traced all the way back to Episode 1, but it seemed even more pervasive and even more low-brow in The Last Jedi.

Just like him chucking the lightsaber over his shoulder at the very beginning. Yes, it had been set up in The Force Awakens to be a powerful, moving scene and it felt like it was trashed for the sake of a cheap joke.

All things considered, it was perhaps my second least favorite movie, with only Phantom Menace surpassing it and with Attack of the Clones only marginally better (because of that last epic 30-45 minutes).

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Solo (70/100)

I think this movie got a little more shit than it deserved, possibly because of Star Wars "fatigue" and possibly because the audience was still traumatized by The Last Jedi. Solo certainly wasn't the best of the Star Wars movies, but I walked into that movie expecting to be entertained without putting too much thought into it. I walked out of that movie satisfied even knowing there were multiple things that could have been improved.

The way Han got the last name 'Solo' was possibly the worst thing about that movie.

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The Rise of Skywalker (80/100)

Again, it wasn't the best of the Star Wars movies, but I think it did a satisfactory job at wrapping things up.

If they had removed every scene with Dio (unremarkable and unimportant) and replaced it with a brief flashback for how Palpatine survived, I would have added another 5 points to my score because that was a pretty significant detail to completely ignore.

As I said before, I was perfectly fine with Rey being a nobody, but the way they 'adjusted' the comment from Last Jedi was tasteful enough that I didn't experience much whiplash. I would've liked some more details on Grandpappy Palp's child, but I suppose we'll have to wait on a book. Her calling herself Skywalker at the end sort of made me squint, but I suppose she couldn't really walkaround calling herself a Palpatine without getting murdered. In my opinion, she should've just ended with, "I'm Rey. Just Rey." since her ability to accept herself was a pretty big theme in the movie.

AND AGAIN, wasted opportunity for a decent space(ish) battle. I was so excited from the trailer when we saw that massive fleet of ships and all we ended up with was starfighter combat (again). I also found myself surprisingly upset by the fact that they added planet-destroying weapons on every single Star Destroyer in the "Final Order" (stupid ass name). That really takes away from the menace of the original Death Stars or Starkiller Base. Palpatine already had the largest fleet in the galaxy (I believe that was stated in the movie), why not just send a task force of Star Destroyers to perform an orbital bombardment? I dare someone to tell me that wouldn't be even more terrifying than the increasingly boring image of a planet cracking apart.

I suppose that was just to give the Resistance an easy way to then destroy them all when they were above Exegol and couldn't escape the planet without outside assistance. Which was also dumb, both the need for outside assistance and for having yet another hidden Sith planet. Fuck, just call it Korriban or Moraban.

Another thing that annoyed me was the knife. I was hoping it'd end up being something much more interesting, perhaps offering some way to kill the seemingly immortal Palpatine (I'll be honest, I was hoping for the Mortis blade). The fact that it was used to line up against the profile of the crashed Death Star, complete with a retractable protector just felt silly. Consider that: Someone figured out exactly where the Throne Room was on the crashed wreck, then traced it all the way to that hill, then forged a knife with dimensions that just lined up right. Stupid and illogical, in my opinion.

When I walked into the theater, one of the things that I absolutely did not want to see was Ben redeem himself. I figured that he'd been given the chance every movie and he'd pretty well established himself as a bad guy. Still, when it happened, I didn't find myself upset because of the way they did it.

One thing I really liked about the movie was how much deeper it delved into the Sith. That's something that's been lacking in all of the movies and I felt like TRoS really brought home the malevolence of the Sith. The crowd in the Sith Temple (which I liked) was something more than a few people were confused about, but I had immediately pegged them as Sith acolytes (Not necessarily Force users, but groupies). It made me think of SWTOR and the idea of Sith Empires. I loved it.

JJ Abram's confirmed that Finn's unsaid comment to Rey was that he was Force sensitive. However, the timing of when it was first brought up didn't really feel right and it being brought up again later only made it seem more personal and more important. Then it ended up amounting to nothing other than an unspoken affirmation for Finn's ability to say "I feel like X is happening" with any sincerity.

All in all, I was never bored, I was entertained and walked out of the theater with a smile on my face.

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The Mandalorian (95/100)

What can I say about this show that hasn't been said? It's amazing, it's beautiful, I want to have children with it. I think that if this show's second season maintains the same level of quality and can prove that it's not just a one hit wonder, then I would argue that The Mandalorian is the single greatest contribution to Star Wars since the original trilogy.

Upcoming Disney+ shows:

Cassian Andor (Rogue One Prequel)

I honestly don't care and I'm flabbergasted that this was the character they chose to make an origin story for.

Kenobi

Ewan McGregor was one of the prequel trilogy's saving graces. Do I want to see him play Obi-Wan again? You bet your ass.

Alright, that's all I got for now. I'll be working on The Will of the Empire and I'll put out that new chapter as soon as I can.