Chapter 15: Hotheads
Carol sat at Daryl's bedside, watching her friend. A copy of "The Greenhouse Gardener's Manual" rested on her lap. She finally put the book down when she realized that she'd reread the same paragraph three times. She wanted to preoccupy her mind but she was too anxious to read. She decided to force herself to rest instead. Carol was just starting to drift off when she heard Daryl stir in his bed.
"Daryl!" she exclaimed standing up quickly and leaning over him. She brushed the curls out of his face and looked down at him, exhaling a sigh of relief. "Daryl, hey! How are you feeling?"
Daryl's eyes opened and closed several times before he fixed them on Carol. "I'm thirsty," he answered in a hoarse and muffled whisper.
Within seconds, Carol had a glass of water to his lips. She lifted the back of his head as he gulped the water quickly. "Slow down," she said before taking the glass from him and setting it back down on the nightstand. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," Daryl replied as he looked down, noticing his left arm in a sling. He pulled the blanket away and looked down at his stomach. "I can't believe I'm alive. I thought I was a dead man for sure this time." Daryl pulled the blanket away even more and began to sit up.
"What are you doing?" Carol asked with concern.
"I gotta get outta here," Daryl mumbled as he stood up slowly.
"The hell you do. Get back in bed," Carol said standing in front of him with her hand on his chest. She firmly guided him back onto the bed. Daryl sat but he didn't lie down. "You need to stay put. Exactly one minute ago you were unconscious."
"I'm fine," Daryl argued as he started to get out of bed again.
"Don't you try that tough guy bullshit on me," Carol said as she placed her hand on his uninjured shoulder and held him down. "At the moment, I'm stronger than you."
Daryl shook his head and looked at his best friend. "I gotta get Connie. The Whisperers took her and I need to get her back."
"They took her?" Carol asked in shock. "You came back alone and didn't tell us what happened before you blacked out. We thought she got lost or maybe she was dead. There's already a search party out looking for her."
"They don't know where to look. I need to go!" Daryl argued.
"Daryl, the only thing you need to do right now is lie back down and rest. I'm not just being dramatic when I'm telling you to stay put," Carol said in all seriousness. "Do you even know what happened to you?"
"I got shot a coupla times," Daryl replied casually. He was more aggravated that getting shot was keeping him from getting to Connie than the fact that it almost ended his life.
"You just had surgery. You were shot in the liver and you're lucky to be alive. If you hadn't made it back to Hilltop when you did, you would have bled to death out in the woods within a half hour."
Daryl looked around, suddenly realizing something. "What the hell? I went to Hilltop. Why am I in Alexandria?"
"You got to Hilltop and passed out from blood loss. Danielle was able to get the bleeding under control but she said you needed surgery. Henry, Alden, Danielle and Luke brought you over her in the Hilltop's fastest car...used up the last of their gas but thank God they had it in the first place. Three days ago, you had a blood transfusion and then Siddiq operated on you. He sutured up several blood vessels in your liver, stopped the bleeding and sewed you back up," Carol explained. "That's not even to mention the arrow you got through your shoulder and a fresh stab wound Rosita found stitched up on your back."
Carol folded the blanket back and nodded her head, telling him with her expression to lie back down. Daryl finally surrendered. He laid his head back on the pillow as she pulled the blanket up to his chest. Carol gave him another small drink of water before he looked back over at her and sighed in frustration.
"How long you been here?"
"Michonne radioed me when you arrived in Alexandria. She told me what happened and I rode in from the Kingdom as soon as I heard. I got here late, the day before yesterday," Carol replied. "Now, do you wanna tell me what happened?"
"It don't matter. All that matters is that she got taken by those maniacs and I'm here doin' nothin'!"
"You're recovering from nearly getting killed and having surgery, that's what you're doing," Carol stated adamantly. "And I told you, there's a search party out there. I'll talk to Michonne and the others and tell them where she is. We'll get her back, Daryl. You on the other hand, you have to stay here and heal. So do me a favor and tell me what happened."
Daryl sighed again. "We came back to the Kingdom after, you know...after the heads. Later that night, we went back to Hilltop. I was keepin' watch and I saw Connie jump the wall. I knew where she was goin', what she was gonna try to do. I couldn't let her go by herself so I followed her. We went to a place just outside the Whisperer camp. We took out six of 'em. We were gonna try and take one of them hostage to get intel but we wound up killing all of them. One of 'em stabbed me in the back and then we got caught up in a herd. We found a cabin in the woods and hid there a while I recovered while the herd passed. We left after a couple of days and that's when it happened."
"When what happened?" Carol asked.
Daryl's mind drifted. His heart sped up in his chest as he roused all the new emotions he was feeling towards Connie - holding her in his arms and kissing her lips. When I realized how much I love her, Daryl thought to himself. When I kissed her and knew I was gonna love her til the day I die. When I realized how much I needed her...and that I didn't want to live without her.
"That's when they took her," Daryl answered. "They shot me, left me for dead and they took her."
"If they have her, we'll get her back."
"Why you sayin' that like we're dealin' with normal people that live by normal rules? They wear the skin of dead people! They decapitated 10 of our friends just because we wanted to help Lydia!" Daryl shouted. "They're batshit crazy and we don't know what they want Connie for or what the hell they're going to do to her!"
"Okay, I get it. They're crazy and Connie's not safe with them," Carol replied calmly. She folded her arms, sat back in her chair and stared at Daryl. "I haven't seen you this upset in a long time, Daryl. Tell me something: why does she mean that much to you?"
"What the hell kinda question is that?"
"You almost died last time you went out. You're lucky to be alive. You're barely out of the woods with your injuries and you're ready to go right back out there for someone you just met? Why?"
"You got a helluva lot of nerve askin' me that," Daryl answered back. "I just went out there not too long ago to get Henry back. I did that for you. And do I gotta remind you who went with me...who helped me get him back home to you?" Daryl asked with restrained anger. "Connie did! She went out there and risked her life for Henry and Lydia – two kids she barely knew!"
"And that's why we have people out there looking for her!"
"That ain't good enough! I need to find her! I need to get her back!"
"Are you responsible for her getting taken? Did you do something that put her in danger?" Carol leaned in, questioning Daryl. "Because it sounds like she's the one who got you to go out there. It sounds like she's the one who put you in danger."
"Nah it ain't like that. Following her was my choice. I went out there because..." Daryl stopped and looked away.
"Because why?" Carol asked. Daryl remained silent, unable to explain. It was too overwhelming to express all that had transpired over the last several days. There were still just too many unfamiliar feelings to form into words. Daryl avoided Carol's eyes, staring down at the white cotton blanket on top of him. He mindlessly started pulling at the loose threads and wrapping them around his finger until the tips turned bright red.
"Well son of a bitch. I can't believe I didn't see it before." Carol chuckled as she shook her head. "You chased after her because you love her, don't you? That's why you're trying to go after her now. You almost died and you're ready to do it again because you love her, don't you?"
Daryl didn't answer her, but he didn't need to. Carol knew him better than anyone else alive and if she was wrong about Connie, he would have denied it immediately. His silence spoke volumes.
Carol stared back at him finally understanding all his actions and motivations. She placed her hand on his and he finally met her eyes with his. She smiled at him as she spoke. "I get it. I know why you have to get her back." Daryl nodded towards her in appreciation. "I'll go. I'll radio the search party that's already out there and tell them what's going on...tell them to wait. I'll assemble another team of my own and we'll meet up with them. We'll start planning tonight and leave first thing in the morning. We'll go to their camp and we'll get her back. We'll end this thing with them. Even if I have to go alone, I'll do whatever it takes, I promise."
"You ain't goin' out there alone! It ain't safe!" Daryl protested.
Daryl saw the fire behind Carol's eyes as her lips turned up in a dauntless grin. "That's real sweet Pookie, but you don't have to worry about me. I'll take care of this. I'll take care of myself. But you have to do one thing for me."
"You want me to stay here," he answered knowingly.
Carol nodded. "You have to heal. You have to. I can't have you going back out there just to get yourself killed. You're gonna have to trust me."
Daryl shook his head in frustration and defeat before he finally looked back up at Carol. "Alright."
…..
Carol gathered Michonne, Aaron, Rosita, Eugene and a few others from Alexandria. She quickly filled all of them in on what Daryl had told her. The Whisperers had Connie and Carol promised Daryl that they'd get her back.
"Going into Whisperer territory to get Connie back will start a war," Aaron stated.
"We're already at war," Michonne replied. "They attacked us during the fair and we retreated. But I don't think most of us thought the retreat was permanent. At least I never did."
"But we have to ask ourselves if going in to their camp, getting Connie back and killing anyone who gets in the way of that...is that really what we're prepared to do?" Aaron asked.
"It's what I'm prepared to do." Carol met Aaron's eyes with a sober look. " I told Daryl we'd get her back. If no one is with me, then I'll go on my own."
"No you won't," Henry said with certainty. "I won't let you."
"Let me?" Carol asked with raised eyebrows.
"Mom, all I meant was that if you're going, I'm going too."
Rosita pursed her lips and shook her head as she spoke up next."No. This can't happen this way. There has to be a united front. And I don't just mean united in Alexandria. All four communities have to decide together."
"That's right," Aaron said next. "An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us. And if we decide to attack them, it has to be a unified decision."
"When we drew up the charter, that is what we agreed to, Carol. We should stick by that," Michonne said.
"Well then everybody needs to get on board with this," Carol stated stoically.
"That's it," Aaron argued. "You say we're attacking so we all need to just agree to it? That's not a discussion. That's not how this works."
"Well then tell me how the hell it works. You want to cower to them? You want to follow their sick rules? They attacked us! They decapitated 10 of our own and put them on display! They almost killed Daryl and they took Connie, and you're telling me that we need to discuss this more?"
"Yes, Carol. We do need to discuss this more." Aaron said as he leaned in towards her defiantly. "If we do this we're going to have to meet with the other communities and come up with a plan."
"We don't know what they'll do to Connie if we wait. They're sick! They're monsters and she's in danger right now!"
"We don't even know if Connie's alive," Rosita said.
"They left Daryl for dead but they took Connie. If they wanted her dead, they would have killed her then and there, not taken her."
"You don't know that," Rosita argued. "None of us know what the hell those psychopaths are thinking."
Carol took a deep breath and smoothed her hair back. "None of this matters. I already made a promise to Daryl to get her back and I'm going..."
"We're going," Henry corrected her.
"Fine. Henry and I are going. I hope the rest of you will have the backbone to go with us."
"Don't do this, Carol. Don't just go out there on your own," Aaron said. "We'll figure this out together and that's going to take some time."
"Connie and Daryl went out there to save Henry. They didn't hesitate and wait for councils and meetings. They didn't have to wait for someone to tell them to do what they already knew was right. They walked into that Whisperer camp without thinking of their own safety and they brought him back to me. It's what they would have done for any one of you - for any one of your kids, so it's what I'll do for them." The room fell silent as everyone looked at Carol.
"And look where that got us," Rosita finally replied. "Yeah Daryl and Connie went to save Henry and Lydia. They didn't hesitate and they were brave. But the result of that was 10 heads on pikes, remember? We lost Gabe and Enid and Tara because of that."
Carol looked at Rosita with contempt. "How dare you imply that what those sadistic monsters did was Daryl's fault."
"That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that every action has a reaction. I'm saying that whatever we do, it should be for all of us to decide not just one person."
"If we do this," Michonne started, "we have to do it all the way. And that's going to mean taking our time. Not just jumping into things with hot heads." The room fell silent once more as everyone contemplated what to do.
"I remember when we were under Negan," Aaron said somberly. "We all remember what that was like...how bad it was. But we had to deal with it for a period of time until we figured out the best way to defeat him. We had to bide our time and wait for the right moment. It's the best way to assure that we're ready and that we sustain the fewest amount of casualties as possible. I lost Eric back then. Even though we made a plan, I still lost him. I don't want to think how many more lives would have been lost if we had just crashed through the gates with nothing but our courage."
"All of us are with you Carol," Michonne stated as she placed her hand on Carol's shoulder. "If Connie's alive, we'll get her back. You can still keep your promise to Daryl."
Carol looked into the faces of each of her friends realizing that she was alone in this. She knew how things worked now. They were "civilized" again. There was a government now. Law and order...checks and balances. She wasn't going to convince them of anything. That was fine though – she didn't need to. A tentative smile appeared on her face as she folded her hands in front of her. "I understand," she said simply. "C'mon Henry, let's get going."