Shinji had been sitting at the restaurant for forty-five minutes when Kaworu finally arrived. Shinji stood up to meet Kaworu.
"You're late," said Kaworu.
Shinji looked at Kaworu incredulously. "That still doesn't mmhhrmmrm!..." Shinji said as Kaworu kissed him. They held the kiss, then Kaworu stepped back and sat down.
"It's good to see you," said Kaworu, smiling.
Shinji sat down and they ordered food. Kaworu got Eggs Florentine. Shinji got a chocolate chip pancake with a whipped cream smiley face, which he poked at with his knife when it arrived. "You're not a clone this time, right?" said Shinji.
"No." Kaworu looked down at his food before looking up at Shinji. "If there is anything I need to do to make you happy, please let me know."
Shinji looked up. "You don't need to do anything."
"Shinji, I don't want you to get the impression that- I mean, what can I do to make amends with you?"
Shinji didn't look up from his food. "You don't need to do anything, Kaworu. Everything's fine."
Kaworu reached out his hand to Shinji's.
"Please don't," said Shinji, pulling his hand away.
Meanwhile, Misato entered the break room of the NERV Command Center, where she saw Makoto Aoba. "How's your Sunday going, Makoto?" she said.
"Pretty well, Major."
Misato walked over to the coffeepot, which was empty, and sighed. "Guess I'll have to be the one who refills this," she muttered.
"I'm sorry, Major Katsuragi," said Makoto. "I'll make sure to make some more next time I use it up."
"Oh, it's not a big deal, Makoto. And I do appreciate your honesty with me. I guess I'm just in kind of a mood. I'm thinking of Shinji and the hedgehog's dilemma. You know what that is?"
"Can't say that I do."
"A hedgehog is doomed to a sort of loneliness since it can never get too close to another hedgehog, or else they'll cause pain."
Makoto paused in thought. "Actually, hedgehogs are sometimes known to exhibit pain-seeking behavior. There was this paper recently called 'Sado-masochism in the mating behavior of Atelerix albiventris.'"
"Really...?"
"So the end of winter break is tomorrow," said Shinji, using the obsolete but still common term. "School will be back in session. That's gonna suck." Shinji dunked his sausage into maple-flavored syrup.
"Most of Tokyo-3 was destroyed, wasn't it?" asked Kaworu.
"Yeah, but not the school district I attend. Still, a lot of people have moved away." Shinji took a bite of his sausage and continued speaking. "I miss Touji and Kensuke."
Kaworu looked up. "You kissed Touji and Kensuke?"
"No, I mean-" Shinji paused, swallowed his food, and looked at Kaworu. "Yes," he said slowly. "Yes, I made out with both of them. They're really good kissers. Do you, um, do you have a problem with that?"
"No," said Kaworu, who looked away.
Shinji smiled. "Really? You know, most guys would have a problem with that. They might even get really angry, and start choking the person that cheated on them." Shinji scooped some whipped cream with his fork and ate it. "Maybe you'd feel better if you choked me." Shinji grinned.
Kaworu looked down at his Eggs Florentine and didn't blink.
Misato and Makoto were in the research complex of NERV, watching a couple of hedgehogs in a glass box that were to be used for animal testing. One hedgehog turned over to the side while another hedgehog rammed its spines into the first hedgehog's soft underbelly.
"Well, I'll be," said Misato.
"That hedgehog being spined is actually squealing in pleasure right now," said Makoto, "but it's at a frequency so high that only people below a certain age can hear it."
"Yep, I hear it," Misato lied. She looked closer. "Is that hedgehog using a pebble as a ball gag?"
Makoto leaned in toward the hedgehog. "Possibly." He stood up. "Actually, though, by far the weirdest behavior hedgehogs engage in is something called 'anointing.' They bite or lick something, then froth at the mouth with a foam that has the scent of that thing, then paste the foam on their spines. It's thought to be a kind of camouflage, or maybe of presenting some kind of poison to potential predators."
Misato turned toward Makoto. "How do you know so much about the sex lives of hedgehogs?" she asked.
Makoto raised a finger and was about to speak.
"Wait, don't answer that."
Kaworu and Shinji continued eating their brunch. Shinji stuck some whipped cream to his face.
"Hey, Kaworu," said Shinji. "Do you like my beard?"
Kaworu watched without comment as Shinji blew bubbles through the whipped cream, foaming it up. Shinji then brought his hand to his face, scooped up some whipped cream on each finger, and held his fingers pointed out toward Kaworu. "Wanna lick?"
"Uh, I have to go outside for a second," said Kaworu.
...
Kaworu stood on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. He spoke out toward the sky.
"Mankind seeks to control nature, but man's destiny is intertwined with the Earth."
The SEELE 01 obelisk appeared. "And yet, man has invented Mars bars-"
"I have a situation I really need to discuss with you!" interrupted Kaworu.
SEELE 01 spoke. "Shoot."
"Uh, you know, uh, choking, uh, whipped cream. Kensuke. Shinji!"
SEELE 01 spoke. "Shinji?! I'm not getting involved. Good luck, kid."
"But wait!"
The SEELE 01 obelisk disappeared.
Kaworu paused, then re-entered the restaurant.
"Of course," Makoto said to Misato as they walked back to the NERV Command Center, "not every hedgehog behavior can be extrapolated to humans, or vice versa."
"Right," said Misato. "Hashtag InHedgehogs."
"Did you know I have some immunity against snake venom?" said Shinji as Kaworu returned. Shinji had already cleaned up his face.
"Lilin never cease to confound me," said Kaworu.