Chapter 11: Cool Kids, Cold Case – Part 3: Beginning
"It's weird, isn't it?" Gorgug polled the group as Dayne and Penelope waved to the party on their way past.
"It's awesome," Fig countered, waving back.
"I mean, yeah, but it's still weird," Gorgug replied. It was a week after Machaira's reveal, and the party still wasn't used to their newfound status. At least, Adaine certainly wasn't. The seniors had stopped making fun of them. The school's aristocracy openly acknowledged them. The other freshmen always wanted to hang out with them. More than once Adaine had heard someone whisper that she belonged to that party. They weren't exactly popular, but everyone knew them. The story that Coach Daybreak had kidnapped students, tried to start the apocalypse, and been brutally slain on the bloodrush field by the loser party of detention freshmen had turned the school on its head. Additionally, the experience earned on their quest put them head and shoulders over the other freshmen in their classes. Adaine had people approaching her after every class for help with assignments and questions about spellcasting. It was a nice ego boost, and the high elf knew she was flaunting it a bit.
"Pff, Fig and I were popular before," Fabian reminded them, crossing his arms.
"Yeah, but I'm in the A.V. club, and they talk to me," Riz shot back.
"And people don't make fun of me anymore," Gorgug added happily.
"Thank Ragh for that," Kristen giggled.
"This is a good weird," Adaine declared, receiving a unanimous yes from the party.
"It's a step up, but I don't think it's a big deal," Machaira moderated, tail whisking up over her legs. With no conspiracy to investigate, the party had been meeting at random locations around the school during second period, at first out of habit, then just as a time to chill. Today they were lounging about a fountain in a courtyard outside the magical departments. Fabian, Riz, and Kristen sat on a bench across the narrow footpath from the fountain while Gorgug sat on the ground with his back against the fountain. Fig and Adaine sat on the concrete rim of the fountain on either side of him with Machaira sprawled on her side between them.
"We're, like, the biggest freshmen in school," Fig said. "How are you not excited to be popular?"
"THEY admire US because WE are awesome," Machaira explained. "It's nice to be acknowledged, but their opinion doesn't affect our badass-ery." The tabaxi rested her head in crossed arms, impossibly comfortable on the narrow space. Her tail slowly waved about, constantly dipping toward the water. Every time the tip touched the surface, her tail kinked up over her body, flicking droplets over Gorgug.
"Sorry," Machaira apologized to Gorgug.
"So, you don't care that no one is randomly picking fights with you in the hall anymore?" Riz asked. They all benefitted from their status jump, but the fact that Machaira hadn't needed medical attention on school grounds in the past week was one of Adaine's favorite parts.
"I'm not trying to bring us down," Machaira protested. "This is a good thing. I'm just saying that I know whose opinions matter to me, and they're all right here." She waved her tail in a circle, gesturing to the party before putting her head down again as if nothing else needed to be said. Smiles and smirks flashed among them. Adaine felt warmth rise within her. Machaira's muzzle was maybe an inch from her left thigh. Adaine could feel her whiskers against her skirt. She wanted to scratch her ears so badly but refrained.
"Okay, you know what's better?" Riz asked. "Not having to study. I never thought we'd have so much time to just hang out."
"I always thought we'd have this much time 'cause I wasn't gonna study anyway," Fig countered.
"No, I'm with Riz," Adaine argued over the party's titters. "I have to do well or my parents will kill me. Right now I'm top of my class, and we can still hang out all the time."
"Mmm, someone's a proud little peacock," Machaira teased. "But then, you have the right to be." The tabaxi opened her eyes to look straight up at Adaine, tail flicking against her back. Adaine swatted at her tail, and the limb whisked away, curling over Gorgug's shoulder. She hadn't purred since the night they slept on the Gukgak's couch, but once in a while, when she was feeling especially fond, her normal light, exotic accent gained a rippling undertone, a current of affection that soothed and warmed Adaine to listen to. Perhaps it was her imagination, but the wizard thought Machaira spoke to her in this way more often than the others.
"Pfft," Gorgug spat a few strands of fur out of his mouth.
"I am so sorry, Gorgug," Machaira apologized again, curling her tail over her hip. Suddenly the water in the fountain reached out and grabbed Machaira, splashing Fig, Adaine, and Gorgug in the process. The tabaxi yowled as the impossible wave swept her back into the concrete basin. Adaine started, breath hitching as her heart leapt into her throat. Machaira got to her hands and knees, spat out a mouthful of water, and hissed. Nearby students laughed but no more than the incident warranted. Machaira growled and started to shake herself but froze with a glance at the party. Fig reached out to pull her up. Adaine snapped out of her shock and tried to do the same, but Machaira was already clambering out of the fountain.
"What the fuck?" Kristen exclaimed.
"Seriously," Fabian seconded.
"Who did that?" Fig challenged the courtyard, swinging her bass off her back. Adaine cast Detect Magic and saw the fresh remains of a Shape Water cantrip lingering around a blond human with a bright pink cardigan on the far-left side of the fountain.
"Oh, you bitch," Adaine seethed, stalking towards her. Machaira hopped in front of her.
"Adaine, wait, is this really worth – "
"Yes." She interrupted firmly. Machaira met her gaze, blinked, shrugged, and stepped back with grin.
"What the hell, kick her ass." Machaira conceded, eyes sparkling with fierce anticipation and pride. It was the look of a tiger that smelled blood and a friend that had full confidence in her all at once. Adaine smirked evilly and strode towards Lindsey. The sorcerer hadn't advanced as quickly through the social ranks as she had probably hoped, but she was still fairly well-known and respected. Lindsey had just resumed making comments about Adaine's clothes and spreading rumors about why she'd dropped her orb when the Daybreak incident turned the pecking order on its head. Adaine noted the uncertainty in her eyes with savage satisfaction. The sorcerer probably hadn't expected her little stunt to provoke such a strong reaction. She wasn't ready to cement their places in the hierarchy, but after that performance Adaine was more than ready to put her in her place.
"Uh, like, what do you want, Mumple Girl?" Lindsey sneered, not quite hiding her trepidation. The wizard cast Ray of Sickness, force feeding the human a stream of green liquid from her fingertip. Linsey doubled over, vomiting across the concrete between them.
"We're not playing games here," Adaine informed her. "Fuck off my friends." Lindsey took a step back and stood shakily, glaring daggers at Adaine. She wiped her mouth off and immediately coughed up another chunk of half-digested food. Adaine fiercely loved and hated that spell.
"Fine, let's stop playing," Lindsey ground out, eyes glowing with magic.
"Oh, bitch, that's your ass," Fig announced, strumming her bass. The other members of Adaine's party stood and drew their weapons. While Adaine hadn't told them exactly what had passed between herself and the sorcerer, they knew the gist of it. Machaira stepped in front of them, holding out an arm.
"Our girl's got this," she told them easily. "Let's sit back and enjoy the slaughter." Adaine flashed a smile at the tabaxi over her shoulder and quickly turned back to her opponent. Lindsey's expression had switched from panic to sneering determination. Her two groupies, neither of whom Adaine could attach a name to, raised their hands, channeling spell energy. "I wouldn't." Machaira cautioned them, moving about ten feet to Adaine's right and grasping the handle of her saber. "Lindsey started this; she can finish it." Fig cackled and moved to her other side.
"Yes, let's not interfere," Fabian agreed, blocking the escape route behind them. The fighter loaded his crossbow. Adaine's party ringed the three girls, aiming for the nameless goons that followed Lindsey. The terrified girls backed off but were not allowed to pass the circle. Lindsey was already sweating, face paling until it matched the high elf's skin tone. Adaine grinned, absorbing confidence from her friends' presence. Other students, mostly magic users, stood at a greater distance to watch. A few catcalls were whistled, but Adaine ignored them. The morality behind Aguefort was piss off whoever you wanted and reap the consequences, so fights like this were not uncommon. However, since popularity was partially determined by adventuring skill, fights also tended to be brutal.
"Fuck her up," Fig cheered.
"Yes, put this girl in her proper place," Fabian called.
"Go Adaine," Kristen hollered.
"Yaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh," Gorgug yelled, too excited to say real words.
"Please don't kill her," Riz requested. Machaira said nothing, merely smiling and nodding her head towards Lindsey like go get her. Adaine smirked. Big improvement over her first meeting with the sorcerer.
Lindsey got initiative, firing a barrage of magic missiles. The impacts staggered Adaine like punches, leaving hot bruises in their wake. But Adaine wasn't daunted. She stepped forward and cast Burning Hands, sending allies and enemies alike hopping back to avoid the flames. Lindsey, not dexterous enough to escape, screamed and collapsed, barely conscious and reeking of charred flesh and fabric. Adaine felt a little bad about that, but she'd learned to take these fights seriously. Lindsey would drop Adaine if the elf didn't get her first. The sorcerer cast Fire Bolt but missed, singing the leaves of an oak behind Adaine. Adaine cast Tasha's Hideous Laughter.
"You, you, you think, haha, that, aha, you are ahahahaha," the human girl broke off into hearty guffaws that didn't compliment the vibe she dressed for. Adaine smiled down at Lindsey, flapping the fingers of one hand up and down at her in the most disdainful wave she could manage. Adaine stepped deliberately over the sorcerer and began to walk away, calling back to her friends over her shoulder.
"Come on, let's go somewhere less lame," she said. "Her cardigan is hurting my eyes." Her party roared with laughter as they casually fled the scene before a teacher could get there. Her friends congratulated her for the easy victory, whooping and snickering and bumping each other around a little as they celebrated. Adaine briefly reflected on their obvious joy at violence for the sake of spite before shrugging the fact away and enjoying the moment. Machaira, still sopping wet, did not touch her but flashed her a proud, smug grin. The rogue strode calmly alongside Adaine, satisfied that her predication had been correct.
"I don't think she'll come after you again," the tabaxi predicted, shivering. Adaine cast Gust of Wind to try and dry her off. Machaira shivered harder, hissed, and retreated, only marginally drier than before
"Sorry, I thought that would help," Adaine apologized. Machaira grumbled, tail flicking erratically.
"You're fine, I just want to dry off before – " The warning bell rang for third period. "That." Machaira finished without enthusiasm. The party separated for their next two periods. By lunch Machaira had managed to dry her head fur in the bathroom but her clothes remained damp even after two hours in the cold air conditioning. Machaira was almost never mean or rude when she was unhappy but instead became taciturn and withdrawn. Still, the tabaxi assured Adaine that seeing her beat the crap out of Lindsey was worth it.
Machaira let Adaine babble about her fourth period pop quiz and made a point to actively engage in the conversation without pulling focus even though the wizard knew her friend had almost no interest in magic. But, where Adaine was involved, she made an effort to understand the subject matter. Since the scout had no magical training or prior to Aguefort, she asked questions frequently, circling back to the original topic once she understood enough to carry on the discussion. When Machaira brought up a point Adaine had made about focusing divination magic through an object more than a week ago, clawed hand pressed between her eyes as she tried to recall the elf's exact wording, Adaine felt a surge of thankfulness and affection for her friend.
She wanted so badly to pet her but held back as she had for the past week. Machaira hadn't asked Adaine to touch her again nor had she presented herself in any way that invited it. Adaine knew that the petting was a big emotional trigger for her. Adaine also knew that Machaira didn't want to be treated like a pet and feared offending her friend's pride. The wizard wasn't sure when it was considered acceptable to pet her. She wanted to ask but never seemed able to find the words or time. So instead Adaine got Machaira a plate of tater tots to show her appreciation. Machaira muttered something about you don't have to waste money on me, and Adaine rolled her eyes, assuring Machaira that she was happy to do it. After shifting about uncomfortably for a bit the tabaxi murmured a thank you and dug in, tail curling over the wizard's back and around her shoulders, whipping away when Adaine tried to grab it only to curl about her legs.
The high elf left lunch in high spirits, almost skipping as she made her way to the usual table. So far today had been excellent, even by post-Daybreak standards. Fig wanted to spend some time with quality time with Gilear after school, so the party wasn't meeting up until five-thirty for dinner at Krom's followed by a movie night at the Gukgak residence. Adaine intended to spend the afternoon hanging out with Machaira and not get home until it was too late for her parents to be much of a bother. As Adaine plopped into her seat and opened a book, she was confident that nothing could ruin this day.
Her crystal buzzed. Who on earth could be calling her right now? She slipped her crystal out of her bag. The caller ID read Anguin Abernant. Adaine's heart sank to somewhere about her navel. As a diviner, Adaine should have known better than to tempt fate. What on earth could her father want with her at school? Adaine quickly turned the volume down and answered on the last ring.
"Father?" she whispered.
"Why are you whispering?" Anguin questioned.
"Because I'm at school," she responded. "We're not supposed to be on our crystals right now."
"Then why are you on your crystal right now? Honestly, I would have hoped that you'd take your education more seriously after being denied entrance to Hudol."
"I'm on my crystal because you called me," Adaine snapped back. "I thought there might have been a family emergency." She could feel herself bottling up as her 'home' attitude replaced 'friends' attitude.
"Something of the sort," Anguin agreed. "A member of the Fallinel Parliament is coming to Elmville to meet with the head of the Council of Solace, and we will be entertaining them at our house for dinner tonight. I wanted to alert you ahead of time so that you could make yourself presentable."
"A little last minute for such an important meeting, isn't it?" Adaine asked with a frown.
"Actually this dinner was pre-arranged some weeks ago," her father corrected her.
"You've known about this event for weeks, and you're only just telling me now?"
"Why would you need to know before now?" Anguin asked.
"If you had told me sooner, I could have cleared my schedule for the day," Adaine reminded her father in a derisive whisper. "I have plans with my friends that I would not have agreed to had I known about this." She wanted to scream, but years of conditioning prevented her. She also didn't want to get in trouble with Mrs. Dimweather, who would no doubt catch her on her crystal at any moment.
"Are you saying that your plans with those people from Aguefort are more important than dinner with two of the most powerful world political leaders at our house?" Anguin inquired sharply.
"No, that's not what I'm saying," Adaine protested. "You waited to call me during school at the last possible moment about this huge event that I could have had more time to prepare for, and now I have to cancel on my friends when this whole mess was so easily avoidable."
"Well, if you agree that this is more important than I fail to see the problem." Her father proved himself blind.
"Did you tell Aelwyn yet?" Adaine challenged.
"Hmm, yes we told her once the plans were finalized," her father said. Adaine seethed. "We wanted to be sure that she would be able to work around her class schedules, and then she meets up with some of her school mates now and again."
"Why did you tell her and not me?" Adaine could hear the childish hurt in her voice as she asked.
"Honestly, Adaine, your behavior has been so errant of late that we thought it safer to tell you today," Anguin sighed. "Which reminds me, this is going to be an important event for the family, and we need everything to go well. I'm sure at some point our guests will ask you about your school work; do try to have something to say that will reflect favorably on us." Every muscle in Adaine's body was rigid, holding her straight as if she was sitting under her father's eye.
"I just helped bring down a deadly extremist who tried to open a hell mouth on school grounds," Adaine reminded him. "I stopped an apocalypse and played a key role in advancing the search for five missing girls."
"Ah, yes, I had almost forgotten. Well, Solace is trying to drag Fallinel into diplomatic negotiations with Highcourt as a result of that, so do try not to bring up that whole ordeal. Perhaps you could say something about your performance in school, if you have anything to boost in that department?" Anguin's dismissal of the quest that had nearly killed her and all of her friends hit Adaine like a bowling ball. Anger fought to make itself known before her nerves failed. Adaine bitterly swallowed this new disappointment, adding it to the collection of other times she didn't have the gall to stand up to her parents.
"Fine," she relented. "I shall refrain from mentioning this great achievement so that I do not embarrass the family."
"Yes, good," her father confirmed. "Well, alright, get back to your studies. Dinner starts at seven." Anguin hung up. Adaine slipped her crystal into her bag. Safer to tell you today. What did her parents think she would do with time to prepare, sabotage their big night? Did they really trust her that little? Certainly less than Aelwyn, not that she had needed the reminder. And her quest, Adaine's biggest accomplishment, which had nearly killed her, was an inconvenience to them that they would rather keep quiet about. Who was she kidding? Her existence was just an inconvenience to them.
Her chest constricted, breaths coming fast and shallow. The book swam before her eyes. She couldn't make heads or tails of the words in front of her. Adaine suddenly felt smaller in her chair, more vulnerable. Her rapid breathing was too loud in her ears She felt like everyone in the library must be able to hear her. Maybe they heard the whole conversation with her father? Logically she knew that was unlikely, but sound tended to travel in the quiet space. Adaine fixed her gaze on the page in front of her, skin crawling as she imagined the stares of the other students in the library turned on her. Her vision swam, darkening around the edges. Tears forced through her defenses. She couldn't get enough oxygen into her lungs. The pressure on her chest reminded Adaine of being trapped under Johnny Spells's car. That's what she was, trapped: trapped in this library of students who would see how lame she was, trapped with a family that didn't want her, and trapped with these panic attacks that would constantly threaten to undermine her.
Adaine eventually managed to force back the panic attack, pushing it into a box somewhere in the back of her mind. She took a few notes from the book, but her heart wasn't in it. As the period drew to a close, Adaine composed herself, wiping her face dry and straightening herself. By the time the warning bell rang, Adaine had removed any trace of her most recent episode. When Machaira made her way up the stairs, Adaine smiled at her, trying to focus on her genuine happiness to see her friend and not the empty, biting sensation in her gut.
Machaira approached Adaine, face creasing slightly with concern. The tabaxi didn't move her facial muscles much to convey emotion. She used her eyes, tail, and ears for most of that, but Adaine had a lot of practice reading her. Machaira locked eyes with Adaine, and the wizard felt compelled to meet her gaze. Those golden eyes searched hers for a moment before understanding relaxed her stare. Machaira's expression softened. The rogue stooped to hug Adaine, keeping a bit more distance than she normally did so that she wasn't boxing Adaine in against the back of the chair. The rogue knelt slightly to the side of the elf, hand resting lightly on her knee.
"Would you like to come outside with me?" She requested gently. "It's such a nice day out. I'd hate to waste it." Adaine found herself mesmerized by Machaira's eyes. She shook her head a bit, nervous without knowing why. "Please? I would really appreciate it." Machaira's voice was impossibly gentle, misting through Adaine's irrational defenses. Everything about her was warm and inviting, like a big fluffy blanket waiting for her. There was no judgement, only concern and affection. Adaine wanted to say yes but wasn't sure how.
Machaira squeezed her knee just a bit before standing. She slipped Adaine's pencil into the crease of her notebook and closed it. She then shut her textbook and slipped both into her bag, every movement slow, relaxed. Adaine made a quiet noise of protest, reaching weakly for her things. She hated how meek she must look.
"We have time to study," Machaira assured her. "But let's go outside. You'll like it." Her voice was soft but firm. The tabaxi slung Adaine's bag over her shoulder and held out her hand. Though every line of her body read as unthreatening, there was a quiet power about the smaller girl, a kind of authority that said, take your time, but this is happening. Adaine shivered as she took Machaira's hand and stood, allowing the scout to guide her out of the library. Machaira's grip was gentle. Adaine could have pulled free if she wanted to, but she followed the rogue over to the tree in the back of the school. The wizard slowed as they neared the tree. She didn't want Machaira to think her weak. But she should have known that her friend would see right through her. The scout met her eyes, gaze soft with understanding. She released Adaine and handed her her bag but sat beneath the tree anyway. Machaira looked up at the elf and patted the ground next to her before crossing her arms over her knees.
"You don't need to talk to me about it," she said gently. "But I'm here for you if you want to. Always." Adaine slowly moved to sit next to her as if in a trance, legs almost touching but not quite. Machaira held out a hand, palm up, and the wizard took it. Calloused fingers wrapped over her hand and squeezed. Machaira's stare was sympathetic but not piteous. She smiled a bit, pouring affection into her expression. Adaine's vision blurred. Before she knew it, she was holding onto Machaira with her face buried in the rogue's shoulder yet again, thick, slow tears dripping onto her friend's chest.
The wyvern scales were impervious to water, letting her tears roll freely down Machaira's chest, shining in the sunlight. Strong arms coiled around her, holding Adaine close without crushing her. Machaira tucked her jaw over Adaine's head and rubbed her back slowly, a constant, soothing motion. Adaine told her about the conversation with her father, murmuring thickly as she hid her shame against Machaira's chest. The rogue let her speak without interruption, hand never breaking the rhythm on Adaine's back. The wizard ran through the entire emotional spectrum this way, rising to the height of tension and falling into exhaustion.
When Adaine was finished, Machaira pushed her away. Adaine's eyes widened in a brief moment of panic and confusion as she was pulled from the warm embrace. Machaira lifted her up, crossed her legs, and replaced Adaine in her lap so that she wasn't kneeling in the grass. The tabaxi settled herself more comfortably against the tree and laid Adaine atop of her again. The elf nestled into the refined position, held more securely in Machaira's arms and legs. She sighed, drooping against her friend, curling placidly into the tabaxi's arms. With her ear to Machaira's collarbone, she could hear the steady heartbeat beneath her. The slow drum hovered at the edge of her hearing, lulling her into stillness.
"I hate your family," Machaira murmured. The rogue spoke more from her chest and throat than she did with her mouth, letting the words rumble up through her body. Adaine could almost hear her voice through her torso before the sound left her lips. Adaine didn't quite laugh but huffed. Machaira rubbed her back a little more firmly, and the elf's eyes fluttered closed at the comforting pressure.
"My parents suck so much," Adaine muttered moodily, picking at a scale on Machaira's jacket. She turned her head to the side, rubbing the bumpy texture rub against her cheek. Machaira's chest twitched as she chuffed, squeezing her bicep. Adaine relaxed against her friend, eyeing her buttons without interest. "Sometimes I feel like they don't want me around." She admitted. "I just did this huge mission, but they don't even care. No matter what I do, I'll always be second-best to Aelwyn for them."
Machaira tightened her hold on Adaine, twisting down to butt the crown of her skull against Adaine's head. Her tail wrapped around the wizard. The rogue gave her a squeeze, rubbing her back and arms firmly. The tabaxi radiated heat, completely negating the chilly fall wind. Machaira tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Adaine felt hypersensitive to the brush of the scout's finger over her pointed ear. Machaira stroked her hair, and Adaine arched her head into the motion just a bit. It didn't leave her catatonic as it did when she had pet Machaira, but the wizard fully understood why her friend enjoyed this. It was a tender, intimate touch, innocent enough to lack risk. Adaine felt the dull emptiness left behind by her panic attack slowly fill with warmth. She lay boneless on the rogue, eyes closed. It felt good to just let someone take care of her for a little while. Eventually Machaira drew in a deep breath, and Adaine looked up at her, sensing a talk coming. There was no judgement in Machaira's golden gaze, but there was a cautious consideration, each word chosen carefully.
"I'm in no position to give advice on family," Machaira began. Adaine cringed a bit. Gods, for a moment she had forgotten where her friend was coming from. Compared to Machaira's parents, her own family were saints. "I know that it hurts to feel like they don't appreciate you. I'm not close enough to the situation to say what they really think about you one way or the other, but if they make you feel this way, that's a problem regardless. And if you're not comfortable expressing that, then you need to ask yourself why."
"We don't talk about emotions," Adaine admitted after a minute. "My parents aren't exactly emotionally available. They expect me to behave a certain way, think a certain way. They don't, like, ask if I'm okay with anything. They just say, 'this is what you have to do,' and if I don't do it right, they consider it a failure. And if I do do anything right, Aelwyn has already done it better, so it doesn't matter as much. I just checked off a box on a to do list. I've never really felt like I could talk to them." The high elf blinked rapidly, chasing away the moisture building in her eyes. "I'm just kinda there. I… sometimes I don't even think that they want me around." Her voice dropped to a whisper.
Machaira heaved a long sigh, pectorals lifting Adaine with the motion. Her arms tightened a tad around her. Adaine looked up apprehensively, half-formed worries about what her friend might think running about her head. But Machaira's entire person oozed sympathy. The sun glinted her eyes, pupils alight with understanding. There was no scorn or pity. Machaira didn't think less of Adaine for her insecurities. She was just… present, here so that Adaine didn't have to be alone. A few new tears broke free as Adaine realized that this girl she had met only a few short weeks ago loved her more openly than her parents did. The elf curled toward the scout, basking in the warmth and support she offered.
"Your family doesn't know what they're missing," Machaira asserted gently, pressing her muzzle to Adaine's head. "Adaine Abernant, you are a rare and remarkable person, not because you're fearless or perfect – far from it." Adaine's face fell into a deadpan. Machaira's expression didn't waver. "You might get scared and feel overwhelmed, but you always keep moving through it. You fought just as fiercely as everyone else in the party. And you have held your ground for fifteen years against your parents where I ran away." Adaine tried to protest, but Machaira spoke over her, eyes blazing with the strength of conviction.
"Your family has done nothing but hold you back and hurt you, but they haven't been able to stop you. Adaine, you have accomplished more in your first semester of high school than your sister ever has. So what that she has a few years' experience on you? You'll catch up and surpass her, guaranteed. And if your parents can't see you for what you are, it's their loss. You're going to do great things, Adaine, because you know what you want and pursue it. If your parents favor your sister over you, let them. All they can do is slow you down. You don't need their approval to succeed. You have already proven that." Machaira's gaze fairly burned, savage pride and righteous anger boiling over. But there was something less ferocious there as well, a kernel of support and tenderness that bled through the fire.
"We all get frustrated and scared and sad. You've seen just how fucked up I am. But you're better than me, and you're better than you think you are. You're stronger than your fear, even if you don't always feel that way. And it's okay to feel that way sometimes; you're not wrong or bad for feeling overwhelmed and anxious. But those feelings are never going to defeat you – remember that. And I'll be here, however much or little you want me to be. That's a promise."
The last part almost wasn't necessary. Machaira's sincerity was as obvious as Fig's. She meant every word she said, and she poured emotion into her voice and eyes to drive it home. Adaine was a little daunted by her friend's faith in her. As Machaira stroked her hair, Adaine surged up and hugged her, arms going about Machaira's neck, overwhelmed by the care her friend so openly held for her. The tabaxi grunted but returned the embrace, arms going around the wizard's slim waist. There was a quiet power about the rogue, a strength that went deeper than muscles. She felt as if Machaira was offering her that strength, and that Adaine was free to take or leave it at her leisure. But as the elf pressed herself against Machaira, she never wanted to let go of her. She wasn't sure how long they stayed like that, time slipping by as Adaine took in the scout's warmth.
"Thank you," Adaine murmured.
"It's nothing," Machaira dismissed quietly.
"It really isn't," Adaine disagreed.
"What else am I for?" Machaira chuckled. Her reply was supposed to be tongue in cheek, but Machaira always meant what she said. Adaine opened her eyes. A white line lay directly in front of her, curving down the back of Machaira's skull, briefly falling out of sight into her mane, and reappearing on her neck. Adaine pulled away, pushing off Machaira's shoulders. The tabaxi immediately relaxed her grip, letting the wizard break free. Adaine stared her down. Machaira began to look confused, maybe a little worried.
"Don't talk like that," Adaine ordered, emotional turmoil hardening.
"Like what?" Machaira edged back from her a bit, arms stiffening.
"Like you don't matter, or you're less important somehow." Adaine could hear the harshness in her voice. She felt it necessary. "You're an incredible person, too, and I hate it when you act like you're somehow worse than the rest of us." Machaira shied away, ears flat, tail sliding off the wizard's waist.
"Okay," she relented, but Adaine knew she was just saying that so the elf would back off. Adaine pursed her lips and took in a deep breath through her nose.
"You're important to me," Adaine tried again more gently. "You're my best friend, and I can't stand it when you say things like that." The tabaxi ducked her head down, eyes fixed on her lap.
"Remember when we all had that talk about blood and gold at Seacaster Manor?" Machaira asked. "I, I don't have any gold to fight for. I fight so that other people can get their gold. I want people to be safe and happy. I especially want that for you and the others. But there's nothing in this world that really matters to me for my own sake. I'm, just, empty inside. I jump from fight to fight, trying to make things just a little bit better for someone else because it's the only way I can make sense of the world. You and the rest of our party, you all have something you care about, a goal to achieve. But I, personally, don't have anything to me. I just… exist. And at the end of the day, you don't need me."
"You SHOULDN'T need me," Machaira snarled fiercely over Adaine's protest. "I'm happy to help when I can, but you would do just fine without me. That's a good thing." Her tone was firm, inviting no discussion. "Eventually you'll all move on to do great things, and I'll be happy for you. Because that's what always happens. I help people, they move on with their lives, and I drift off to find something else to fling myself at. I don't have a real purpose to define me, no gold of my own to pursue, so I'm never needed." Her eyes still blazed, but Adaine no longer enjoyed their light. The wizard drew back a fist and punched Machaira as hard as she could in the jaw. The tabaxi's head barely moved, but her gaze flew wide in shock.
"Don't you ever say that," Adaine told her. "You have no idea how much of an impact you've made on my life, let alone on this town. You did just as much as anyone else to complete our quest. You know what, maybe we could have beaten Daybreak without you, but the same could be said for any one of us. The strength of the hero is the party, together. We don't need you in the sense that we can't survive without you. We need you in the sense that you make our lives so much brighter and better for your presence. I need you in my life." Adaine grabbed her friend's shoulders, expression torn between a scowl and a frown.
"You're always talking about how strong I am, but I could never have survived what you went through. I don't stay with my parents because I'm brave – I don't know what I would do if I left. You're not a coward for leaving your family – you took control of your life. You made the decision to go into the unknown and fight for survival on your own terms instead of allowing yourself to be abused. And you still put all of us before yourself. That's what makes you so strong. You're not empty because you care about others. Your gold is love, and I have never known anyone as loving as you are." Machaira looked back at her with scared, uncertain eyes. Adaine took a deep breath and hugged the rogue, holding on tightly when she flinched.
"I want you in my life," she murmured into Machaira's jacket. "You're more important to me than my own sister, and I don't know how I can get you to see that." For a long moment, Machaira didn't hug her in return. Slowly, hesitantly, the tabaxi inched her arms back around Adaine's waist. Her head fell into the crook of Adaine's neck. Tiny tremors ran through her body. Her tail rustled the grass beside them. Adaine could barely hear her friend murmur thank you and sorry.
"I'm your friend," the elf whispered back thickly. "I worry about you. And I want you to be happy." Machaira pulled back to look her in the eyes.
"You make me happy," she assured Adaine quietly. The elf smiled at her. She reached out for Machaira's head, and the tabaxi flinched, fear flashing in her eyes. Adaine retracted her hand, summoning the courage needed to pose the question that had been eating at her for a week.
"Why don't you want me to touch you?" She asked cautiously. "I mean, it's your body, but I thought you liked being petted. Did I do something wrong, or – "
"No, gods, no," Machaira cut her off quickly. "I didn't, I don't…" She took a quick, sharp breath. "I want you to touch me. I mean, yes, I like getting petted by you, just, like, it's fine, good, great – " She cut herself off with a groan, head thumping back against the tree, red blossoming under the white fur on her cheeks. "I didn't want to make you do it or pull focus from the other things we do. I don't want to just make everything awkward by asking you to touch me. I don't mind it, no, it's great, I, I just, I didn't want to, to bother you." Machaira groaned again, squeezing her eyes shut. "Just fucking kill me."
"I don't mind," Adaine told her. "I like it." Machaira kept her eyes screwed shut. "It's, I don't know, soothing to pet you. Like, I just feel calm and happy, or, I don't know." Adaine shuffled, suddenly awkward. She was painfully aware of how long she'd been sitting on her friend's lap, but she didn't actually want to get up. Machaira still had her arms around her, so Adaine decided it was okay to stay. "Petting you feels good, okay? I like seeing you happy and relaxed. I feel close to you when I pet you. It's… nice." She finished lamely. Machaira kept her eyes closed, but she wrapped her arms tighter around Adaine's waist, drawing her in.
"It's not a bother," Adaine assured her. "But I won't do it if you don't want me to." Machaira bit her lip. Her four front teeth were perfectly conical, points gleaming ivory in the dappled light.
"I always want you to," she admitted, blush deepening. "I, I like feeling close to you, too. I just didn't want to ask because I thought it might be weird. But, you're free to pet me whenever you want." Machaira kept her voice carefully neutral, but her tail skidded madly about the lawn beside them.
"How about now?" Adaine asked. Her tail flew up and thumped heavily back on the ground.
"Now?" Machaira parroted, facing Adaine properly.
"I mean, if you want," she amended awkwardly. Machaira shivered but nodded, equally awkward. Adaine reached for her slowly. Machaira kept unnaturally still, watching her hand. As Adaine's hand cupped around the back of her ear, the tabaxi shuddered and whimpered. Adaine froze, but Machair bent her head down to provide better access. Adaine slowly began to scratch, and Machaira leaned closer. Adaine sighed, feeling the emotional tension of the past half hour drain away. Machaira's fur was as soft as she remembered. The rogue bent over, allowing Adaine to ruffle her tattered ears. A purr began to build deep in her chest.
Machaira's body dipped toward Adaine, and the wizard reached out to prop her up with a laugh. Adaine pushed Machaira's head up by the cheek, and the tabaxi rubbed her muzzle against Adaine's hand twice, tickling her. The diviner scratched her cheek on impulse, and Machaira pressed her face into the touch, purr rising to ripple over the lawn like summer thunder. Machaira's head bobbed up and down as Adaine scratched her, twisting to encourage Adaine to move toward her neck. The elf happily obliged, delighted by the vibrations under her fingers as the rogue purred. Machaira was rapidly losing the ability to hold herself upright, only bothering to lift her head toward Adaine's hand.
"Machaira, I need you to get up," Adaine giggled. "This is ridiculous." At once the tabaxi wound herself around Adaine, rubbing her muzzle against the wizard's shoulder, arm, back, stomach, legs – whatever she could reach. The high elf was buffeted as the smaller but stronger girl pushed her about, purr swelling until her body vibrated in tune with it, giddy happiness replacing the once somber atmosphere. The action was rough and playful, encouraging Adaine to push back against her. The elf tried, but the scout pressed into her, pushing back against her push back. Laughter and purrs blended wonderfully as Machaira seemed to be everywhere around her at once. Adaine reached out to pet Machaira, and the rogue arched her head up into her palm, nuzzling her and continuing through the motion to circle the elven girl. Her tail slithered along Adaine's back, chest, and face, curving to maintain a hold on her. The wizard laughed and fell back against the tree, half reclining. Machaira curled up in her lap almost before Adaine had settled down, pressing the side of her head into Adaine's stomach.
"Aurroo," Machaira chuffed, looking up at her with wide, yellow eyes. Claws kneaded in her skirt, flexing on but not pricking her legs. Adaine smiled, affection welling up for the silly rogue. She reached down to rub Machaira's ears, easing back onto the tree as the scout's happy purrs ignited soft, warm parts of her subconscious that normally lay buried under anxiety. Adaine dug her fingers into Machaira's mane, vigorously scratching the thick ruff. Machaira closed her eyes, pressing her muzzle into Adaine's torso. Her purrs vibrated up the elf's body. Adaine wanted that moment to last forever. So, of course, the bell rang for the end of school. The wizard reluctantly removed her hand from Machaira's mane. The tabaxi chased after her hand, nosing her.
"Machaira, school is letting out," Adaine reminded her gently. "Do you want people to see you getting petted or hear you purr?" The rogue laid her chin on Adaine's sternum, blinking peacefully up at her with a gaze that very clearly said she didn't care what people thought. The elf reached out to pet her, stroking Machaira from cheek to mane. A purr flared, and Adaine laid a hand over Machaira's back to keep herself from petting the tabaxi any more. Machaira wasn't totally lucid right now, but she'd be embarrassed later if anyone caught her like this. Adaine realized that this so important to the scout partially because she was openly displaying an animalistic side that she could not fully control. There was an element of trust that ran even deeper than the wizard had first thought.
Machaira, still hazy, nuzzled Adaine's chest, butting her skull into Adaine's sternum and twisting to rub her muzzle along Adaine's ribs, a little higher than usual. The elf would normally have never been okay with anyone brushing against her breasts like this, but the action was oddly endearing. Adaine was warm and content, her trust in the tabaxi absolute. If she was honest, there was something nice about the intimacy between them, that she didn't feel threatened, that there wasn't even a need to point out what had happened. The weight of Machaira's head on her chest was comforting. She didn't want to break contact.
But, as Adaine stopped petting her, Machaira eventually sank onto her lap without complaint. Adaine struggled to cross her legs, and the rogue slid off of her. Once Adaine had settled, she tugged the tabaxi toward her by the shoulders. Machaira took the invitation immediately, curling into an impossibly small ball in her lap. She twisted her head upside down, exposing the white fur of her throat, tail coiling around herself. The elf rolled her eyes, grinning hugely despite the weight on her legs. She pulled out a book and cheekily rested it on the body in her lap. Machaira, for her part, lay perfectly still, seemingly asleep as Adaine read off of her. Few people passed by this way as they left school, and fewer still stopped to stare. Adaine shot these gawkers a harsh, demanding look, and they scurried off.
Every few minutes Adaine stroked her friend's head. While she didn't purr quite so powerfully, a thin rumble would rise from Machaira's chest, claws flexing from their sheaths in pleasure. Eventually Adaine set her book down and cupped Machaira's cheek, dragging the nail of her thumb under the scout's chin.
"Hey, you awake?" She whispered.
"Mmmmm, sort of," Machaira murmured. "Didn't want to ruin the moment."
"Are you even remotely comfortable?" Adaine asked, legitimately curious. Machaira loosed a short, lazy growl that bordered on a bark.
"You have no idea," she replied, nuzzling Adaine's stomach.
"I have to go soon," Adaine told her, gently petting Machaira anyway.
"I know," she sighed, eyes closing at the contact. Adaine traced a scar with her finger, and Machaira whimpered, trembling. "It's okay." She promised, looking up at the concerned wizard. "It's good, just… intense and a little scary. Lot of memories ingrained there. But I'm okay. With you touching me, that is." Machaira closed her eyes again, whether to hide her embarrassment or enjoy the renewed touches Adaine didn't know. "You going to be okay tonight?"
"Yeah," Adaine sighed. "It starts at seven, so I only have to endure a few hours of everyone ignoring or dismissing me and then it'll be over." Machaira looked up, eyes heavy with sympathy once more. "I'll be okay." Adaine promised. "Thank you, for reaching out, by the way. I know we were kind of all over the place, but I feel a lot better." Machaira rolled over and rested her chin on Adaine's knee, staring up at the wizard with a serious expression.
"I will always be there for you," she reminded Adaine. The elf smiled and rubbed her thumb back and forth over Machaira's cheek, trying to put all of her affection for the tabaxi into her expression.
"I know." Adaine said simply. She could stay a minute longer.