Before Everything
Chapter 15
Mike hated having to stay quiet while Hannah listed out her complaints and concerns about him. He was angered and frustrated. The bad part was, Christine had to stay home because Kaitlyn had come down with a bad head cold. There was no buffer on the way home. He didn't even have a chance to defend himself. Before it was time to leave, Doctor Smith had her receptionist come in to get Hannah, so she had a few minutes to speak to Mike.
"I know all that was frustrating, and I didn't allow you to defend yourself or interrupt Hannah. I did that for a reason. She knows you're angry and upset. She needs to see in the next week that her words and actions affected you. Next week, you'll have your chance." Dr. Smith explained.
"So, in the meantime?" Mike asked.
"Let her see your pain. About what she said and about Lucas. Obviously, don't mistreat her, not that you would; but let her know, you're hurting. She genuinely believes that her actions and feelings don't matter to you." Dr. Smith continued.
"Alright. I don't really know what good this will do, but alright. I think it caused far more damage." Mike said as he stood up.
"If it did, it gave you something to rebuild from." Dr. Smith said as she shook his hand.
"I hope so. I can't imagine it being any worse." Mike said before walking out of the room. He made the next appointment and collected Hannah. It wasn't until they were in the truck and Mike was pulling out of the parking lot that either of them said a word.
"Daddy, I'm hungry. Can we get something, please?" Hannah asked from the backseat.
"Mom will have lunch when we get home." Mike answered simply. He didn't want to prolong the outing, simply because he needed a buffer between him and Hannah. A week before, he was desperately trying for more time with her.
"Oh." Hannah said simply.
Mike drove the rest of the way home. Christine had sandwiches and soup ready for them, but Mike and Hannah both ate in silence. Kaitlyn was settled on the couch and Mike purposely cuddled close to her, not even giving Hannah the option. Hannah had gone up to her room, and Christine followed her up.
Christine sat down next to Hannah on her bed, knowing that Hannah needed to talk. For a few moments, Hannah was silent. Finally, she began talking.
"I think Daddy really hates me now." Hannah said as she fiddled with her teddy bear.
"I know better. He is upset, frustrated and maybe a bit angry, but he still loves you." Christine answered.
"He hasn't said much since we left Dr. Smith's." Hannah said.
"He may not. Sometimes, when your dad is really upset, he shuts down. I've upset him like this before, and it sometimes takes him a couple days, but he does come around. My advice is, give him room, but tonight when you give me your goodnight kiss, give him one too." Christine said.
"What if he doesn't let me?" Hannah asked.
"I think he will. Hannah, he is hurting, but he is still your dad and he still loves you deeply." Christine said. She stood up and gave Hannah a kiss on the top of the head.
"I think I'll stay up here until supper. I don't think Daddy wants me downstairs." Hannah said.
"I'll come up and check on you. Don't hesitate to come downstairs if you need anything." Christine said before leaving the room.
The rest of the day was quiet. Mike stayed on the couch with Kaitlyn. Christine alternated between holding Mason and checking on Hannah. She had only come downstairs once to get a drink. Mike didn't even look at her.
They ate dinner in near silence, and Hannah went back upstairs after doing her chores. She took her bath and changed into her pajamas without being told to. Hannah came back downstairs to tell them goodnight. Mike was still on the couch, watching a movie with Kaitlyn.
"Don't forget what I said, baby girl." Christine said as she gave Hannah a goodnight kiss. Mike's eyes were glued to the TV.
"I don't want to make him angrier." Hannah whispered.
"You won't." Christine said as she pushed Hannah towards Mike. Hannah was hesitant, but she did give Mike a kiss on the cheek and hugged his neck. Mike did put a hand on her back and patted it.
"Daddy, I know you are really upset at me right now, and I made you sad, but I really do love you. I hope you sleep good." Hannah said.
"Likewise." Mike said. He returned Hannah's kiss and patted her shoulder again. Christine passed Mason over to him and followed Hannah upstairs to tuck her in. As Christine adjusted the blankets around Hannah and gave her a kiss, Hannah spoke up.
"Mommy, what does likewise mean?" Hannah asked.
"In this case, it means that your daddy hopes you sleep good and he loves you too." Christine explained.
"Oh. Why couldn't he just say that?" Hannah asked.
"Because sometimes, saying I love you is hard, even though you love someone with all your heart. Your dad just said that word because saying I love you is a little difficult. He did hug and kiss you back." Christine said.
"Yeah, he did." Hannah said.
"You know, if you wanted to, you could always come in with us tonight. Sleep in between us." Christine hinted.
"Would Daddy let me?" Hannah asked.
"Just come in later and say you can't sleep." Christine said.
"Okay. I might." Hannah agreed.
"Goodnight, sweet pea. Get some rest and remember Daddy loves you." Christine said before giving her another kiss. She could only hope that Hannah believed her, and Mike could process everything.