Guest: Don't worry. Miranda is gonna get hers, but not in this story. It will happen in the sequel that I'm already writing.
WoodenOwl31: Ha! I was tempted to have Lee beat him up, but he didn't want Emily to think less of him.
Happy reading!
"I'm spending the weekend with my father. I'm picking him up after work," Andy was saying. "We're going to have a great time together."
Emily kept her facial expression in check, but hearing Andy talk about her father made her want to cry.
"Do you have any plans for the weekend?" Andy asked her. Emily forced herself to look at her.
"Yes," she said stiffly. Sit on my couch and cry over Lee Christmas. It had been three weeks since she had last seen him, but it still hurt so much. She missed him every day. She hated that she couldn't be okay with him and his job like she thought she could be. She hated that her fear of vulnerability also took over when she least expected it.
"Okay, well, see you on Monday," Andy said, waving. Emily didn't respond. When she was finally alone, she broke down into tears. She would give anything to talk to her father one more time let alone spend a whole weekend with him. Andy had no idea how lucky she was. Emily pulled out her phone and hovered over Lee's name. If anyone understood her pain about her father, it was him, but they weren't talking so as to spare themselves the pain, and she was too afraid to reach out first and break the silence. He hadn't made an effort either. That said a lot right there. She put her phone down and dropped her face into her hands, crying.
"Emily?" James asked, popping his head in. She lifted her head and instantly started wiping her eyes.
"What?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You sure?"
"Yes, James."
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," James said after a moment, still standing in the doorway.
"For what?"
"For you feeling this way."
Emily didn't know what to say to that because she hadn't forgotten just who had given her the envelope of photos, but James didn't linger. He tapped the door frame and left, which surprised her. It was the first time he hadn't suggested they hang out or have a drink or hook up. Maybe he was finally getting the hint. Emily dragged herself up out of her seat and put on her coat. She had a whole weekend alone facing her. Eric was working but had promised to spend some time with her during the day before he started his shift. She might even call her mother. Emily shuddered. She hadn't exactly told her mother that things with Lee were over. She didn't want to hear any "I told you so" from her. Emily left the office feeling a little relieved to not be on call for once.
...
Lee sat with the guys in Tool's tattoo parlor shop, and they drank beer and swapped stories. Lee, however, was quiet. He was thinking about Emily, wondering what she was doing and if she was eating.
"Call her," Barney said, nudging him.
"I can't," Lee answered. "It's too hard."
"Why did you break up again?"
"She doesn't need the fear and stress of my job on her plate along with her own issues," Lee answered dully.
"So quit," Barney shrugged.
"That's your solution?"
"Well, if you want my opinion."
"You'd quit for a girl?"
"No, but that's me."
"I can't quit what I love, just like I wouldn't expect her to quit what she loves doing."
"But what happens when you love two things and can only have one?" Barney challenged. Lee couldn't answer because he didn't know what to say.
"Excuse me," he said, leaving and going to another room. He pulled out his phone and dialed.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Eric. It's me."
"Hey."
"How are things?" Lee asked.
"Things aren't so good," Eric answered, knowing that "things" was code for Emily.
"No?"
"No. Things are barely getting by, and things are definitely missing you."
"Did I make a mistake, Eric?" Lee asked, cutting to the chase. Eric sighed.
"I don't know, man. If she can't handle your job, then it's the right choice I guess. The fear of losing you at any point in time is a lot for her."
"You've talked?"
"Ehh sort of," Eric replied. "She keeps to herself mostly."
"Is she eating?"
Eric made a sound in his throat.
"Eric? Is she eating?"
"Not a heck of a lot," Eric answered truthfully. Lee closed his eyes and pressed his lips together.
"Are you...?"
"I'm working on it," Eric finished for him. "She's going on about Paris and how she needs to be 'super thin' for it. I've seen her eat some cheese."
"It's my fault."
"No, Lee, it's not your fault. She was struggling with this long before you."
"I..."
"I gotta go. She's here," Eric said, cutting him off.
"Okay."
"Take care."
Lee held his phone in his hands and wished that he was with the two of them instead of being so far away.
...
"I thought you weren't on call?" Eric asked when Emily's phone went off that night. She had come down to the bar with him while he worked because she didn't want to be alone. He had tucked his phone away after Lee's call just as she sat across from him.
"I'm not," she frowned, seeing it was Andy. She answered. "What?"
Eric wiped the bar top and watched Emily's face as she listened. He could hear the frantic squealing of the caller on the other end.
"I don't know," Emily said impatiently. "She didn't call me. She called you. It's up to you to figure this out. Good bye." She hung up fiercely.
"What's up?" Eric asked.
"Miranda asked Andrea to get her a flight home tonight, and Andrea is saying she can't do it because of a hurricane," Emily sniffed.
"Does Devil Woman think she's God or something?" Eric asked.
"Miranda is a very important person."
"Not important enough to get a flight in a hurricane," Eric pointed out.
"Andrea is going to get it when she comes back," Emily nodded.
"You really don't like this Andrea girl, do you?"
"I'm not sure why," Emily admitted. Andy just got under her skin. Emily, however, was easily irritated by anyone and anything lately it seemed. She watched Eric wiping the bar down absently. Ever since Andy said she was with her father, she couldn't stop thinking about hers.
"Do you ever think about Dad?" she asked suddenly. Eric stopped what he was doing and looked at her.
"Every day," he answered. "Why?"
"I just...I try not to think about him, and I don't know why."
"Because it hurts," Eric pointed out. "I know."
"But...I should still be okay with thinking about him."
"You'll get there eventually," Eric promised.
"How is it so easy for you? To think about him all the time?"
"Because I think about him as though he's watching me from somewhere," Eric replied. "Maybe that's stupid, but I believe he's closer than we think."
"I just feel so...broken," Emily said sadly. "And Lee used to make me feel better about Dad, and now he's gone...I don't even know if he's alive. I wish I could just shut my brain off. I keep thinking the worst."
"Lee called," Eric confessed. He wanted to assure her Lee was all right.
"He did?"
"Yea."
"Did he ask about me?"
"Of course, Em. He's still crazy about you," Eric answered. It had been obvious. "Tell me again why you two broke up?"
"I can't handle the idea of losing him to death on the job, and I don't allow myself to ever be happy," Emily answered.
"Those are both stupid reasons."
"I know, but it is what it is."
Eric just shook his head as he went about his work. He thought about Lee and how down he had seemed on the phone. He knew both of them were in pain, but he didn't know how to make them figure it out and get back together.
...
On the fourth week of missing Lee, Emily had had enough. Andy was still moaning about the mishap with Miranda missing her daughters' event because Andy couldn't fly her home in a hurricane, and Emily was tired of hearing it as well as tired of feeling cranky. It was Friday night again, and Emily had lucked out on not being on call again because Miranda was still punishing Andy. Emily had an idea, and she knew it was crazy and stupid and so not what she should be doing, but she had to do it. She needed to do it.
"Lucky you," Andy sighed. "Two weekends off in a row."
"Yes, lucky me," Emily agreed sarcastically. "It's not my fault you made her angry at you."
"I'm not God," Andy spluttered. "I couldn't stop the hurricane or get her a flight. Nobody could, and you know it!"
"Not my problem," Emily retorted. She grabbed her coat and bag and headed out, not looking back. She made her way to the apartment, still thinking about what she was doing and how crazy she was to do it. She heard Eric in the shower when she entered, and she paused. It was sneaky, but it needed to be done. She went over to his phone, which was lying on the counter abandoned. She turned it on, entered his pathetically obvious password, and snooped through the messages between him and Lee. She frowned. They talked about her quite a bit, and Eric was blatantly doing his best to convince Lee to not be stupid and come home. That was interesting. Lee's responses were all the same: he couldn't quit his job, and he couldn't expect Emily to just be able to cope with his work, that it wasn't fair to her. She went further back and found what she was looking for.
We hang out at Tool's Tattoo Parlor. You'd love it.
"Gotcha," she said to herself, writing it down and putting it in her purse. She put Eric's phone back. Hopefully he wouldn't figure it out. She hurriedly changed into jeans and a white blouse and grabbed her backpack and stuffed some essentials into it. She left a note for Eric saying she was having a girl's weekend with Serena. Hopefully he'd buy it. Then, she left.
...
"Oh, so you think you're a hotshot now," Tool said, his knife in his hand as he aimed it at the target. Lee was smirking as he watched. He had sunk his in the bull's eye moments earlier.
"I don't think it. I know it," Lee commented back.
"Ahhh!" Tool cried as he threw and hit the edge of the target.
"Maybe you oughta not be drinking while doing that?" Toll suggested, laughing. "Cos even I know you can throw better than that."
"Stay out of it, Bookworm," Tool said back. Toll just laughed even more. His usual book he was reading was out of sight for the moment, but it was true. He was the reader out of the group.
Lee tried to enjoy all of this, but he was struggling. He still missed Emily. He still ached inside about it all. It was all he had in him to not book a flight and fly to New York that night just to be with her. He looked at the clock. It was ten at night now, which would be eleven for New York. She was probably already in bed. He wondered if she had to work this weekend. Barney and Caesar were chatting about something by the bar, so Lee went to join them since Tool had gone back to his drink. Gunner and Yin were playing pool with Gunner cursing every so often because Yin was very obviously beating him.
"Are you ever going to stop looking like your dog just died?" Barney asked him.
"Are you ever going to stop saying ridiculous shit?" Lee countered.
"No."
"Then me either."
Barney laughed and reached to shove Lee's shoulder in jest. There was the sound of the front door opening then, and a draft of air followed it.
"Are ya lost, little lady?" Tool asked.
"I don't think so," the woman answered. "This is Tool's place, right?" Lee froze, his beer midair halfway to his mouth. All the guys were looking at the stranger now, and Lee finally forced himself to turn and see her with his own two eyes.
"Well I'll be damned," Barney commented.
"You know this gal?" Tool asked, looking at him.
"We've met. Lee knows her very well, though," Barney answered, giving Lee a cuff to the back of his head. Lee's beer almost lurched out of his hand from the cuff, and he put it on the bar while giving Barney a glare in return.
Emily stood there feeling awkward and nervous, her backpack over her shoulder. All of these men looked very tough and scary, and they were all staring at her. She hugged herself. Lee unglued himself from his stool finally and went over to her.
"Hi," she said when he was in front of her, her voice a bit wobbly.
"What are you doing here?" he asked, concerned. "Is everything all right? Is your mom okay? Eric?"
"They're fine," she answered. Lee could sense that the team was still watching and listening. He gave them all a pointed look as he took her elbow and guided her to a more private area.
"So why are you here then?" he asked again once they were out of earshot.
"I just...I wanted to see you. Maybe this was a mistake," she said, going to leave. He caught her arm again.
"Hang on," he said. "You come all the way here to see me just to leave after five seconds?"
"I'm sensing you aren't happy to see me," she responded. Lee caught sight of Barney hanging by the door and listening, so he went over and shut it firmly in Barney's face. He didn't miss the look he got in return.
"Bloody eavesdroppers," he muttered. He turned back to Emily. "Em, I am happy to see you. I'm just confused as to why you're here when it was decided this wasn't going to work."
"I don't know. I've asked myself the same question all day," she said. Lee looked at her and felt warm inside. He spent a lot of time during the days imagining and remembering what she looked like. Now that she was here, it felt surreal.
"Eric tell you where I was?" he asked.
"I looked at his phone."
Lee chuckled at this. Of course she did. In all honesty, though, he was hoping she would do exactly that, which was why he told Eric about Tool's.
"You got the weekend off?"
"Yes."
"So what do you wanna do?" he questioned. Emily never broke eye contact with him for this entire exchange until after this question. He saw her eyes flick to his lips quickly and then back to his eyes. Message received.
"Anything," she answered.
Lee wasted no time closing the gap between them and kissing her fiercely. Emily gripped him close to her, feeling on fire. She had desperately needed this, wanted this.
"You get a hotel room yet?" he asked in her ear, breathless.
"Not yet," she answered, just as out of breath as he was.
"Come on then," he said, pulling her hand. They went out of the room and towards the exit. Lee had not missed Barney's clumsy, backward leap to appear as though he hadn't been standing right there as soon as the door had opened. He didn't care at this point.
"No drink together first?" Barney called after them. Lee ignored him, letting the door slam behind him be his answer back. Emily paused when she saw his bike.
"I...I've never been on one of those," she said, nervous again. Lee handed her his helmet and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.
"Hang on tight," he advised. She put the helmet on as he started the bike. She briefly thought of how it was going to wreck her hair but let it go. This was not about her looks. She gingerly climbed on behind him and grabbed him around the middle. When he set off, she shrieked, not being used to the feeling of riding a bike. At least it wasn't a long ride. Emily's legs were hurting from squeezing the bike so hard from fear. Lee helped remove her helmet and moved hair from her face, which initiated kissing again. They somehow managed to make it to his apartment on the second floor without any mishaps while they continued kissing. Once inside, Emily noticed it was very clean for a bachelor's place. Lee had her in his arms and across the floor to his room within moments. And then, history repeated itself.
"I missed you," Emily said after. She was reliving what had just happened and feeling giddy and in love with him all over again.
"I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day," he answered. They were on their sides, looking at each other.
"Was this a bad idea?" she asked. She had to know.
"Maybe, but I don't think so."
"It didn't change anything..."
"Em, let's just look at it as a weekend together," he stopped her. "Don't think about it any further than that."
"Okay," she agreed. It was their weekend. She could live with that. It had been her decision after all.
...
How Barney had convinced Lee to bring Emily over to Tool's for dinner was beyond him. Lee felt that he did owe Emily a chance to meet his friends, his surrogate family. What unsettled him, though, was seeing her old eating habits back. He kept his thoughts to himself because he knew he only had this weekend with her, and tonight was their last night together before she left. He didn't want to spend it fighting.
"Fashion, eh?" Gunner commented.
Lee tensed. He had to give them all credit, though. They acted like perfect gentlemen around Emily. Barney had made sure of it. The threat of getting stabbed by Lee if they didn't also helped.
"I get the feeling you're not too much into it," Emily replied, looking at Gunner. He blushed.
"No ma'am," he shook his head. "If it has three holes in it for my head and arms, it's good enough for me."
"Oye," Emily winced. Lee chuckled.
"You'd wear a potato sack and call it good," Toll snorted.
"Paper bag," Caesar chimed in.
"Bubble wrap shirt," Yin sniggered.
"All right," Lee cut in, stopping the conversation before it got carried away.
"Aw, spoil our fun," Toll commented. Emily was smiling at Lee, oblivious to the men around her. It was nice to see him in his own element. She felt better knowing his team more. She felt as though he'd be safer now that she knew who they were and how they behaved. He reached to squeeze her hand under the table, but Barney saw.
"You're nuts," he mouthed to Lee when Emily wasn't looking. Lee knew that Barney was referring to him being nuts for giving Emily up, and he knew he was, but he didn't want to pressure Emily. If she needed time to come around, then he'd gladly wait for her.
...
Sunday night came too soon for both of them. Lee stood at the airport feeling the rock in his stomach as she waited for her flight to be called.
"I feel like I'm never going to see you again or something," she said.
"Well, we both know that is a high possibility," Lee replied. Emily hated thinking that he was right.
"Do you regret this?" she asked.
"No," he shook his head. "Do you?"
"I regret that I didn't do it sooner," she answered. He pulled her in for another kiss. He never wanted to let her go, but he'd rather have this goodbye than the last one they had.
The call for her flight came, and they looked at each other.
"Be safe," she said, not knowing what else to say.
"You too," he responded. Emily felt the tears coming, but she swallowed them down. She had made this decision to come here. She would not regret it or show how sad it made her to leave. He reluctantly released her hand, and she walked towards the terminal. Before she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight, she looked back. Even from there she could see that his eyes were a bit wet. She used all her strength to move forward instead of racing back to him.
...
Eric looked up when Emily came into their apartment. She knew that he already knew where she had really been.
"How was your girl's weekend?" he asked, playing along.
"Good," she answered.
"Was it worth it?"
She paused. Had it been? She thought of Lee's face again. Maybe they had just caused more hurt for each other.
"I think so," she answered. She looked at her brother. Eric didn't bring up that Serena had stopped by looking for Emily or that Lee had accidentally pocket dialed him while he was out with Emily. He didn't want to make her have to explain herself. He knew that if he was in their position, he'd have probably done the same thing.
"All right," he nodded. Emily was grateful he didn't let on he knew. Some things were just better left unsaid.
...
"How are you holding up?" Barney asked Lee as they sat alone at Tool's place once Emily was gone. Lee felt empty.
"I'm all right."
"You guys are crazy to stay apart, you know that right?"
"Maybe, but for now it is what it is."
"I don't get it," Barney admitted. "She's beautiful and into you for whatever reason, and you're letting her go."
"I don't expect you to understand."
"I don't think anyone understands."
Lee didn't respond. He knew he was being stupid, but he didn't want to push things with Emily if she didn't want to be in a relationship. If this was their last weekend together, he'd take it. Whatever came their way down the road, he'd be ready. However, he had a strong feeling he'd be seeing her again.