Brainstorming
House parked up and helped Cameron dismount. When she removed the helmet, her hair cascaded around her shoulders and she had to whip it out of her eyes. The diagnostician was rendered momentarily speechless as he observed her while removing his gloves and sunglasses. Cameron's weight on his bike had grown a little more familiar, as had the feel of her lips, but one thing that still gave him pause and quickened his pulse was her hair: the way she manipulated it, the way it shone and flowed like water. It enchanted him. House suspected that the ancient Greeks were on to something when they conceived of Medusa, a woman whose hair and eyes literally turned unsuspecting men to stone. An apt myth, he thought, as he stood rooted to the spot, gloves halfway into his leather jacket. "Are we going in, or are you gonna stare at me all day?", asked Cameron, winking in his direction.
"I, er,", House mumbled. For God's sake, pull it together. You aren't a teenager anymore. He cleared his throat. "Yes. In. Work". Cameron said nothing, instead arching an eyebrow in amusement and setting off for the hospital entrance without him.
House caught up with her as they walked into the lobby. "I think it's best if we keep our little...situation under wraps for now. We don't want the other employees hankering after the same perks. I've seen the way Chase looks at me, and I don't fancy indulging his fantasies".
They walked to the elevators. "Yes, that's fine", agreed Cameron. It would be a lot simpler if Foreman and Chase were kept in the dark for as long as possible. Not only because she suspected the latter still had feelings for her, but also because she herself had still to wrap her head around her and House. Her and House. She smiled at the thought as they took the elevator up to Diagnostics. "What about my fantasies?", she asked conversationally.
"What about them?".
"Would you consider indulging them?". Cameron glanced at the man beside her.
House rubbed his chin, thinking it over. "I could be persuaded", he answered, stopping in the hallway and turning to face her. "But I'd need to know what they were before I could come to any kind of definitive judgement".
Cameron gave a devilish grin. "Aha, I'm not going to make it easy for you, Dr. House. It's something for you to think about".
House rolled his eyes. "Ugh. Why are women always so mysterious?". Cameron laughed as they resumed their walk. "You go on ahead and tell the others to get cracking", he added after a short distance. "I've left copies of the case file for you to mull over. Come up with some deep and meaningful theories for me to shoot down in a flash".
Cameron nodded. "And where are you going?".
House shook his head in mock bewilderment. "For one thing, it would look pretty suspicious if we both came in together, wouldn't it? I know our friends aren't the sharpest tools in the shed but give them a little credit. For another thing, it's 9 a.m. Far too early for me to be working. I need to let this baby...", House pointed to his head, "...warm up first. Now, off you go. I expect to be dazzled". Cameron sighed but went off without further comment.
House watched her troop away down the corridor, admiring her figure from afar. As soon as she was out of sight, he doubled back and took the stairs to the ground floor, walking around a side of the hospital he hadn't seen for a while. A few of the doctors gave him a surprised look, but House had no time even for a sarcastic comment. After a few minutes' walking, he took the stairs to his floor, approaching Wilson's office from the opposite direction, and entered without knocking. "I need your help-", he began.
Wilson was going over an x-ray with a youngish-looking man, and started in surprise at the disturbance. "I'm with a patient, House. You'll have to wait".
House sighed and walked over to examine the readout himself. "Well, it isn't cancer", he remarked after a moment's study, "but your lungs look like a whack-a-mole board. How many are you smoking daily?".
"Er, 20 or so?", the man looked uncertain, and glanced towards Wilson who shrugged.
House leaned in and sniffed. "Stogies? Come on, man, you're better than that. If you're going to kill yourself, at least do it in style".
"I'm dying?", he asked, panicked.
House looked at him like he was an idiot, but spoke to Wilson. "Natural selection dictates that we let this man die for being a moron". House once more addressed the patient. "Smoking is bad for you, OK? Don't do it. If you quit today, there's a chance you'll live to see 60. If not, Mrs Smoker and Smoker junior will be crying at your funeral".
"I'm not married", said the man, still in shock.
"Not surprising. You look like the back end of a bus", House remarked, steering the man towards the door and opening it; "smell like one, too. Good day, sir". The diagnostician pushed him out into the corridor and shut the door.
Wilson folded his arms in annoyance. "You can't just barge in here and hijack my consultations, House. That man was in obvious distress".
House went over to sit on his friend's couch. "So am I. and I think that your best friend of many years, your light in the darkness, is more important than some random urchin off the street".
"And what are you doing in so early, anyway?". Wilson's eyes narrowed.
"You know me, Wilson, a real morning bird. It's the best time of day, really. It has the sunrise and everything". House leant back and stretched his arms, observing the oncologist's disbelieving face. "No? Not buying it? Fair enough, but just so I know, where did I lose you? Was it the sunrise bit?".
Wilson said nothing and walked over to the desk to check his email. House sighed. "I've told you before: strong and silent really doesn't suit you".
"Believe it or not, House, but I do actually have work to do. So, if you'd like to cut to the chase, I can give you some advice, you'll ignore it, and we can move on with our lives".
House looked at Wilson, whose eyes had remained fixed on the screen, and smirked. "Fair dinkum. I came in with Cameron this morning".
Wilson's eyes darted to those of his friend's. "This morning? It went well last night, did it? Did you...y'know". The oncologist made a graphic gesture.
House pulled a face. "It did go well, and no, we didn't".
"Really?". Wilson was surprised. "I just assumed, since you both liked each other, that you would".
"Yeah, well. I think it's because I like her that I'm holding off", answered House as he gazed at the ceiling.
"I don't follow".
House sighed. "I want to do this properly, get to know her, go on a date or two, and then see what happens".
"Huh", remarked Wilson, leaning back in his chair. "That's actually a really sensible idea".
"I know, right? I'm pretty proud of myself".
"So what do you need me for? Sounds like you've got it all worked out".
"Well, I was tossing and turning last night trying to think of date ideas. And then it struck me that my best pal, good old James Wilson, he of the three wives, would be the perfect person to ask. You're practically an expert in the wooing of women. Mathilde aside, of course".
Wilson inclined his head in acknowledgement. "I appreciate the thought, House, but I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask, given that all my relationships so far have crashed and burned".
"Yep, but we can put that down to your horrible desire to please and accommodate, rather than through any failings in the dating phase".
"Too kind, too kind", Wilson remarked drily. House threw him a salute from the couch. Wilson sighed and glanced at his watch in exasperation. "Fine! Since you cut short my last appointment, I have a bit of spare time. What have you come up with so far?".
"Yes. Yes. No. I've told Dr. Williams that such insinuations are entirely inappropriate. Yes, I know. Yep. OK. Thanks for that, Guy". Cuddy sighed, made a cursory note, and returned the phone to its cradle. She woke up her computer and tabbed over to her diary, checking off another item before consulting the next. Suddenly her office door burst open and her Head of Diagnostics walked in. At least, she assumed it was him. She'd not looked up, but only one individual in this building would have the temerity to waltz into the Dean's office uninvited. "What is it, House?", she asked, head down, scribbling.
"You know what I like about you, Cuddles?", exclaimed the other, settling into her easy chair against the wall: "your refreshingly simple attitude. Straight to business, no nonsense. I bet guys don't even have to buy you dinner, do they?".
"Are you offering?".
"Alas, no. It's hard enough for me to mooch off Wilson as it is. I doubt he'd be willing to subsidise your food as well". House took up a cushion and started tapping a rhythm.
"Too bad. This new diet is killing me", Cuddy remarked whilst glancing at her computer.
"You don't need a diet. Your breasts and ass look great just the way they are".
Cuddy laughed shortly. "Thanks, House. I think".
House winked at her. "I got your back, sister. Don't let the man wear you down". The diagnostician replaced the cushion and leaned forwards. "Speaking of men and women, I'd like your advice".
"Oh?", she remarked, head buried in papers.
"Cameron and I kissed last night". House didn't add: and again this morning.
This did cause Cuddy to look up sharply. House smiled faintly: her reaction was almost exactly the same as Wilson's. "You kissed?", she repeated.
"Yes, ma'am; that we did".
"And did you-", the Dean began.
"No. Jeez, you and Wilson are exactly the same. I'm amazed you two haven't shacked up yet".
Cuddy nodded in approval, finally giving her employee full focus. "You're taking it slow. Very smart. Best to ease into things".
"OK, are you sure you aren't psychically engaged with Wilson? He said pretty much the same thing", observed House, getting up to look out of Cuddy's window.
Cuddy shrugged. "We both know you, House".
"Well, if that's true, you'll also know that I need help with planning a date. I'm not very good at the seduction phase – I much prefer the 'under the sheets' phase".
Cuddy turned in her chair to speak to the other, who was still facing away from her by the window. "Hmm. I think you're a little better at the seduction phase than you realise". The man himself glanced around. "Is that so?", he asked.
"How can I put this? Women don't go out with you for your, ah, caring and loving nature, House. And while you're attractive in an unconventional sort of way, there are more handsome men out there", Cuddy began, briefly thinking back to their time together in college.
He scoffed. "I'm glad I refused to buy you dinner now".
Cuddy walked over to stand next to her friend and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Just be yourself. Cameron knows you, understands your idiosyncrasies, your brashness. Don't be afraid of uncertainty. Embrace it". House glanced at her, reminded of Cameron's words in his office, and nodded slowly. "That's all well and good", he said, "but I'd still like some date inspiration".
"Alright then. What have you got so far?", she queried. House told her.
Cuddy raised her eyebrows, but as she thought it through a smile emerged. "Not a bad idea. I know I'd enjoy that. Give it a try".