MAJOR TW: Another suicide attempt (I'm hoping this will be the last one), depression and dissociation.
A/N: I was dissatisfied with the last chapter and decided that I needed to procrastinate homework, so have another chapter :)
They had been back at Hogwarts for a month, but Harry and Ron still refused to say more than a hello to Hermione. Hermione refused to apologize for her actions as she believed she was acting for the best, although she did apologize for how the situation made them feel. Harry knew she meant well but that did not stop him from being angry with her. Ron, between Scabbers and the Firebolt, was completely cross with Hermione and ignored her more than Harry did. She started to avoid the common room, secluding herself in the Library or going to Hagrid's hut to discuss the case. Neither boy looked for her and neither helped her with Buckbeak's trial. Hermione still kept an eye on Harry when they would share classes and discreetly followed him to the ones she didn't share with him.
Ravenclaw and Slytherin played their first week back, with Slytherin having a narrow win. Hermione sent Crookshanks to Draco that afternoon with a brief note congratulating him, and while Draco didn't reply with a note of his own, he did give her a small smile and a polite nod at dinner that day. The Gryffindor team and Ron had buzzed with excitement hearing Slytherin won as it was apparently good news due to there not being a huge gap in points anymore. Hermione had a hard time giving more than a moment to care as even with the time-turner, she had her head in multiple books and barely noticed her snapping at anyone who had tried to disturb her. Narcissa had Hermione take the bag Lucius gifted her on holiday and would have sworn it was heaven sent if a part of her did not still think of him as a demon. A tolerable demon, but a demon.
Hermione was currently in the common room, studying in her corner with several tables to herself pushed together. She planned a long night of studying and decided that it was best she stayed in the common room rather than start in the library and move her things to the commons to finish. The portrait door opened, letting Neville, Harry and Ron through. Her throat ached as she looked at her friends and when she looked down at the paper in front of her, she couldn't read what she wrote as her tears made everything blurry. She felt angry, sad, guilty, protective, and several other feelings that she wished she could talk to them about. She felt like it was first year again except she had no parents to write to or guide her through her emotions. Everything continued to be bottled up and she felt as if she would burst at any second.
Ten minutes later though, Harry and Ron were standing by her table. She slowly looked up and saw them both grinning, presumably because Harry was holding his Firebolt. Her anger bubbled and she found herself wanting to use the broom for firewood but she pressed her lips into a thin line instead, and said nothing.
"I got it back," Harry said, holding up the Firebolt.
"See, Hermione? There wasn't anything wrong with it!" Said Ron.
Her anger made her jump to defend herself and she pointed one of her Borkin and Burkes quills at it. "Well there might have been!" said Hermione. "I mean, at least now you know now that it's safe!" She couldn't believe that after everything they had gone though at Hogwarts she was the one they considered to be daft for being too careful. When she first got back to Hogwarts, she was about ready to plead for forgiveness but after they continued to brush her off, she grew more angry at how they were acting. At first, she did not believe Dr. Augsen when she said Harry and Ron were being unreasonable when she vented about the floo conversation and Ron's howler after Christmas, but over time Hermione started to see that she wasn't in the wrong, no matter how guilty her heart made her feel.
"Yeah, I suppose so," said Harry. "I'd better put it upstairs-"
"I'll take it!" Ron said, reaching out for the Firebolt. "I've got to give Scabbers his rat tonic anyway." Harry allowed Ron to take the Firebolt upstairs, carrying it as if it was made of ceramic or glass.
After Ron disappeared, Harry looked at Hermione, noticing she had dark circles under her eyes. "Can I sit down?"
Hermione didn't answer but moved a stack of parchment that was in a chair next to her, on to the table. Harry didn't say anything more for a moment as he looked over the tomes that littered the table. "How are you getting through all of these?" Harry lifted up one book by it's corner but set it back down with a soft thud. "It's been driving Ron mad trying to figure it out."
"You know- working hard." She hated lying at anytime, but at that moment she hated it more than usual now that Harry was actually trying to converse with her. I have to make mum and dad proud. "Ron's been thinking about me?" She shifted the subject off of her, and knowing that Ron may not hate her made her forget any resentment she had towards the Firebolt at that moment.
He nodded but didn't elaborate. "Why don't you drop a couple of subjects?" Harry asked as she started to look for the rune dictionary to help her with the essay she was writing.
Hermione looked at him with wide eyes as if he just demanded she run up to the Whomping Willow to give it a hug. "I couldn't do that!" She had considered dropping divination as she found the class to be a waste of time, but understanding that they were half-way through the year, she did not see the point of dropping it now.
The corner of Harry's lips quirked up as he looked down on a very complicated-looking number chart that was by her Muggle Studies essay about why muggles need electricity. "Arithmancy looks terrible."
"Oh no! It's wonderful!" She smiled as she looked up at Harry, happy she was able to slip back into a normal conversation. "It's my favorite subject now! It's-"
At that moment, a yell came from the boy's staircase and the whole common room went silent. Not long after, there was the sound of hurried footsteps then Ron came into view, holding what Hermione assumed was his bed sheet.
"LOOK!" He bellowed, throwing the bed sheet over her book and essays, some of which were still drying. "LOOK!" he yelled again, leaning over Harry to shake the sheets in her face. Hermione was terrified as she never saw Ron act like this before, even with Draco.
"Wha-"
"SCABBERS! LOOK! SCABBERS!" Hermione leaned away from Ron, her back pressing into the wall behind her. She forced herself to break her stare away from his angry eye and looked at the sheets, realizing they had- "BLOOD!" No one dared to speak as Ron yelled, not caring about the scene he was making. "HE'S GONE! AND YOU KNOW WHAT WAS ON THE FLOOR?"
"N-no." Her voice was trembling, and she felt herself starting to struggle with breathing as she started to panic. Adrenaline started to flood her veins, and she started to feel claustrophobic with Ron in her personal space.
Ron threw several long, spiky, ginger cat hairs on to her essay. Hermione felt her trembling stop as her anger came back, anchoring her to stand her ground- which she did. Hermione rose from her seat, standing so she was eye level to Ron. "Do not start with this rubbish, Ronald Bilibus Weasley." Hermione felt her magic immediately start to crack and sizzle between her fingers. Her wand, which was laying on the table, rolled to the edge closest to her and bumped the back of her hand.
"YOUR DEMON CAT ATE MY RAT!"
"THAT CAT HAIR COULD HAVE BEEN FROM WHEN HARRY WAS WATCHING HIM!"
"YOUR CAT WAS HARDLY IN THE COMMON ROOM AND WHEN HE WAS, WE-"
"STOP!" Harry stood up suddenly and placed his arms on their shoulders to push them away from each other. Ron was furiously balling up his bed sheets, not caring what essays he knocked to the floor, but said nothing. "Hermione,-"
"No!" Hermione didn't care that everyone had completely abandoned what they were doing to watch the three argue. "Ron has had it out for Crookshanks since he jumped on him at the shop! You have no proof that Scabbers was even eaten by Crookshanks and is probably hiding under some other bed up stairs- I bet you didn't even look for him, did you?" She said the last bit with a maddening superiority that had Ron change into a unique shade of purple she had never seen before on a person.
Ron opened his mouth to speak but Harry beat him to it. "There's blood on the bed sheets Hermione and Crookshanks fur everywhere. Your cat was the one who has had it out for Scabbers-"
"Fine, side with Ron!" Hermione picked up her wand and started sending things from the tables off to her room. "I knew you would!" She sounded completely shrilly and her voice broke again as she gathered the last few books on the tables. "First the Firebolt, now Scabbers, everything's my fault, isn't it! Just leave me alone!" She ran up the stairs of the girls dormitory and neither of them tried to stop her or coax her down. When Lavender tried to talk to Hermione a few minutes later, she cast a silencing charm so Lavender would think she was already sleeping, instead of crying herself to sleep again about everything wrong in her life.
Draco watched Harry at breakfast the day that Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were to have their match against each other to determine who would go against Slytherin. Draco watched as Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and even Ravenclaws go up to Harry, patting him on the back for having the fastest broom in the world. Draco thought it was ridiculous as it wasn't even an accomplishment and people were still singing his praises. He found himself to be slightly jealous, but only a little bit. When news spread that Harry Potter had gotten his Firebolt back from Professor McGonagall, Draco alerted his father immediately who had a Firebolt of his own delivered that same day. Draco asked for it to be delivered after dinner so he could catch the next team Slytherin played against by surprise. The risk of being caught after curfew was worth it if it meant Slytherin got the quidditch cup. Draco shared a look with the Slytherin Team Captain, Marcus Flint- the only person other than Theo and Blaise who knew about Draco's Firebolt- and smirked. They both stood up, with Theo joining them, and made their way over to the Gryffindor table.
"Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?" Draco's eye glinted maliciously. "Shame it doesn't come with a parachute- in case you get too near a dementor." Draco didn't realize why he felt like something was off about the Gryffindor table but it dawned on him while Flint and Theo sniggered behind him. Hermione wasn't sitting with Harry and Ron, but by herself at the end of the Gryffindor table by the first years. He only noticed it when her bushy popped up from her Divination book when he mentioned a dementor. She frowned as she watched Draco and Harry, her eyes narrowing at the Firebolt.
Draco missed what was said by Harry but when Draco looked back at him, he had a sneer on his face and the Gryffindor team was laughing loudly. Draco narrowed his eyes and trudged back to the Slytherin table where his house surrounded him, asking him, Flint, and Theo about the Firebolt. He let his eyes slid over to where Hermione was sitting to see that she had left the Great Hall. He would be lying if he hadn't noticed the distance the distance between Harry, Ron and her. It was odd as they were always a trio- hence why the Slytherins often referred to them as the Golden Trio.
"Firebolt got you shook, Malfoy?" Crabbe taunted from one end of the table, past the small group Malfoy had around him. Goyle matched the sneer Crabbe on his face and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Careful, Crabbe. It almost sounds like you don't want Slytherin to win the cup." His voice had a threatening drawl and the Slytherins sitting between Draco and Crabbe all turned to look at Crabbe with narrowed eyes. Crabbe looked down at his food, lips twisted as if he ate something sour, and said nothing else.
Draco leaned in close to Flint so only he could hear him. "You're still going out there on the field later, right?" Draco looked at Harry and Ron again, who seemed pink in the face from the attention they were getting. Wankers.
"Absolutely." It would make the victory more sweet if Gryffindor won today and Slytherin beat them in the final game but Draco did not take chances, he took every opportunity he had so he suggested that some of the team members went on to the field as dementors to spook Harry into falling off is broom.
His eyes slid over to Hermione's now empty seat. "I'll make sure Granger doesn't interfere this game."
Flint nodded, a glint in his eye. "Of course you get the fun part."
Draco shrugged one shoulder, allowing a small smile on his lips. "Mum's orders."
Flint and Draco laughed. When the Gryffindor team got up to head to the locker room, Draco waited thirty minutes before heading towards the quidditch field. It was thirty minutes earlier than what most students left for the game but Hermione's type was often early like that. He waited by the open door way that had a trail leading to the feild and waited for her to appear. When students started to leave the Great Hall to go to the field twenty minutes later, he checked his watch, thinking he may have been wrong about her habits.
Ten minutes later, he saw the Weasleys who were not on the team leave the castle to get seats for the quidditch game. Another ten minutes, nearly all of Gryffindor and Ravenclaw had made it to the field and were seated in the stands. After another ten minutes, he noticed that the flow of students nearly trickled to a stop with only a few Slytherin and Hufflepuff stragglers. There was no way she went nearly two hours early... Did she? Draco used his wand to check the time again and decided that if she was coming, she was already there as the game started in fifteen minutes.
He looked into the doorway once more, and to his disbelief, saw Hermione running towards the entrance. He quickly ducked back and had a few seconds to think Merlin, this is going to hurt before he threw himself in front of her, knocking both of them over. On their way down, he stuck his hand down one of her robe pockets and his other hand felt the other pocket. Where the hell is her wand?
"Ow!" Hermione ended up on her back while he ended up on his stomach as they had both been turned around on impact. Even with the warming charms, the snow got through to his core. "Malfoy?!"
He got up and whisked the snow off of him with his wand, discreetly looking around to make sure no one saw them. "Granger." He extended a hand and she hesitated for a moment before taking it. "I didn't see you ther-"
She had turned away and started to fast walk towards the stands. He jogged so he could catch up to her and gave her a look that she didn't see as she kept looking forward. "It's rude to walk away when someone is talking."
"I'm in a bit of a hurry if you hadn't noticed." Her voice was thick with her annoyance but he hardly noticed, trying to think where she might keep her wand. Breast pockets are usually on male robes, so she could have it in her sleeve like I do... the only other place would be... His eyes dropped down to her skirt and if anyone was around to witness his blush, he would have blamed it on the cold. She's not the type of girl to wear a garter. But then again... "Why were you late? Aren't all swots early birds?"
She threw a glare at him and sped up her pace, ignoring the inquisitive part of her wanting to ask if that was another saying muggles stole. While she may have wanted to be on better terms with Draco, she was starting to grow upset that now was the time he decided to be friendly.
Draco was trying to be nice, but he hated being ignored. "Granger." He jogged to get ahead of her then stopped to block her way. She tried to step to the side but he mirrored her step. "I just want to know what the Wonder Duo did to piss you off."
Hermione looked up at him then and blinked, being caught completely off guard. "What do you know?"
He made a show of rolling his eyes. He was stalling as he didn't think his initial plan to pick pocket her would fail and needed to find another way to steal her wand. "Nothing, that's why I'm- Hey!"
She took off running again while he was distracted, forcing him to chase after her. Bloody hell, I'll never get her wand. She was fast and had nearly made it to the stairs of the stands before she slowed down, out of breath from the exertion in the cold Febuary afternoon. He had been close behind her though, and they nearly had a full on collision again.
Thinking fast, he pretended that he couldn't stop and slightly brushed against her, and hand to grab her left arm for balance. He felt his face flush again when he felt nothing and his mind thought about her skirt. He tried to remember the times where he watched her at the manor or at Hogwarts to determine if she was left handed or not, but he could only remember her using her both hands, like at dinner or playing the cello. The other times, he could only remember the back of her head as he usually sat in the back of their classes while she sat in the front.
"What is your problem, Malfoy?" She pulled her hand away and stomped up the stairs, glancing back at him while he followed.
"I don't have a problem, I was just trying to be nice. You're the one who keeps running off on me, mid-sentence."
She gave him a wary glance and while she didn't slow her pace, she stopped stomping. He was running out of time and knew he needed a new plan as there was no way he could get her wand away from her. "They think Crookshanks ate Scabbers."
He gave her a questioning look but then it clicked. She was telling him why Harry and Ron were not on good terms with her. "Crookshanks is a cat though. It's in his nature if he were to eat a rat."
That stopped her in her tracks and she whirled around, eyes bright. The action caught him by surprise and he grabbed the rail to avoid falling back for stopping suddenly himself. "Exactly! But what drives me mad is that they don't even have proof he even ate the rat! First that stupid Firebolt, now Scabbers. They keep blaming me for things and they haven't even helped me with Buckbeak." Hermione ran a hand over her hair that was sticking up in every direction, even with it pulled back in a ponytail. She had heard of the term 'word vomit' before and imagined this is what it felt like to have it as she did not know what she was telling Draco this.
"Well you don't come between a man and his quidditch." She glared at him and turned from him to continue up the stairs but at that same moment, an idea popped in his head. "But you were right to report it." She turned around to face him again, only making it two steps higher, her lips parted in disbelief. It was one thing to be polite but another for Draco to admit she was in the right. "And they shouldn't be blaming you for the Rat's disappearance."
"Thats-"
"Mount your brooms... On my whistle..." Madam Hooch's voice rang through the stadium and Hermione started her ascension up the stairs again, this time, nearly running.
"That's very kind of you, but I have to go-" He ran up the rest of the stairs after her and grabbed her left arm, finally feeling her wand but he completely abandoned his plan for his new one.
"So why support Harry? He's a bit of a tosser and so it Ron with how the two of them had been treating you. You could skip the game-"
Hermione looked at him, completely scandalized he would suggest such a thing. "I have to. Especially with the dementors-"
Alarm bells went off in his head when she mentioned dementors. He needed to get her away from the stadium as soon as he could- any means necessary. "Do you even like quidditch? From how you talk about it, it doesn't seem like it- not to mention you congratulated me, the seeker of your rival house for winning the last game. If you're not on good terms, there's no point in going-"
"I have to support Harry. He's my best friend." She tried to pull her arm back gently as she didn't want anything to happen to her wand.
Draco thought of the flames she had conjured last game. The stands were hundreds of feet away from the dementors and it was pouring but she cast her spells with ease. Flint, along with the majority of the Slytherin team members were going out on the field dressed as dementors to scare Harry and she could easily harm them, if not kill them. He thought back to his jealousy of Harry at Breakfast and figured speaking from a place of truth may help him in his favor. "Seriously Granger, that sort doesn't deserve your friendship." Draco released her arm and stuffed both his hands in his pockets. He hated Harry for always being in the spotlight and he hated Harry for having such good friends. Draco knew he had Theo and Blaise now but their friendship had just started and was completely fresh. It wasn't the brother hood he hoped it would grow into yet. "It's been what? Two months and they haven't talked to you? Forcing you to sit with first years? Blaming you for either being cautious or not having control over an animal that hunts for itself?"
Hermione's eyes started to water and she felt like she was having tea with Lucius again. Jordan Lee, the announcer for the game along with Fred and George's best friend, could be heard in the back ground, giving her a moment to stop herself from crying before responding. "Gryffindor in possession, Katie Bell of Gryffindor heading for goal..."
Hermione looked up the stairs again then looked down at Draco. She shook her head. "Even if I didn't want to be here, I have nothing else to do at Hogwarts- And it's barely been over a month. I sit with the first years willingly, they need a lot of help adjusting." Hermione fidgeted with the ring on her necklace as she spoke. From his few personal encounters with her, he knew that fidgeting was a nervous habit she had when she was either thinking too hard or trying not to think and hoped his words were getting through to her.
"I'll go back with you." The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to think about it. His words shocked them both and he scrambled to cover up his surprise so she did not grow suspicious of his ulterior motives. "I shouldn't have pushed you on Christmas and I haven't been able to approach you after we got back." Draco refused to look up at her as he realized that he wasn't necessarily lying anymore and was speaking from another place that wasn't jealously, but still the truth. "I can help you with whatever you're doing with Buckbeak- or we can go to the music room." He thought about Christmas Eve in her room and figured he should return the sentiment. "It has a piano and I-"
He stopped as she shook her head, hair flying everywhere. "I can't." His head snapped up and Hermione had one tear going down her cheek. "As mad as they may be with me, I need them. And I need to make sure nothing else happens to Harry."
Both of them were silent for a few minutes until Jordan was heard again. "Gryffindor leads by eighty points to zero, and look at that Firebolt go! Potter's Firebolt really..." Jordan went on a small rant about the specifications of the Firebolt before Profesor McGonagall interrupted him again for being an ad rather than an announcer.
"Maybe another time-" She started, again but Draco bumped into her as he past her, knocking her into the wall. She didn't miss the dark look on his face as he did it and she felt her mood dip.
"No." He walked up the rest of the stairs, not bothering to look behind him again as he was more that disgruntled by her refusal, but hurt. Draco didn't understand how the brightest witch of the age was allowing herself to be kicked around by two boys who didn't seem to know their left from their right. Draco thought back over to his lessons from his mother and tried to remember if this was a response to the trauma she endured or if it this was due to Hermione's bleeding heart personality.
"Well someone is late." Theo moved over as he had saved a seat for Draco beside him. Blaise was on Theo's other side, his head in his hands as he was obviously bored with the game.
"I got tied up." Draco glanced over his shoulder to make sure Hermione had not gotten to the top of the stairs as he twirled her wand in front of him. Theo howled with laughter and Blaise's eyes went wide.
"You owe me ten galleons Blaise." Theo elbowed their Italian friend before turning to Draco when he slid into the seat next to them. Theo had the same glint in his eye that Flint did earlier. "So tell me, is she a fighter?" He laughed again at Draco's disgusted look. "I'm just pulling your leg, mate. How did you do it?"
"Pick pocket." He stuffed the wand into the breast pocket of his robes as he turned to watch the game.
"Why would a Malfoy need to know how to- do that? The last thing you need to do is steal from anyone else, you can just buy what you need." Blaise had his cheek resting on his fist as he looked at Draco.
Draco shrugged. "For instances like now. I only learned it to mess with people. Take what's not theirs, put it somewhere else or use it against them." The three Slytherin's watched the game for a couple of minutes before Theo nudged Draco.
"Well, you didn't do a good job." Theo was staring past Draco and when he turned around, he saw a furious Hermione making towards the top of the stands where Draco and all the Slytherin's sat. Shite.
She stood in front of him, arms crossed and magic crackling around her. "Give it back."
Even without her not having a wand, Draco was a bit scared of her and wondered why he thought taking her wand was a good idea in the first place. "Give what back?"
"My wand. I know I had it on me when I was on the stairs, and even checked the stairs, but after you bumped into me it was gone." If looks could kill he knew he would be dead ten times over.
Draco removed his own wand and cast the spell he had learned from the manor over the summer that had already proved to save his neck more than once. "Muffliato."The Slytherin's were starting to stare at them and the last thing he needed was someone from his house trying to embarrass him further than Hermione already was. Theo knew the spell that was cast and gave Draco a withering look as he was excluded from the conversation. He bought himself a few seconds of time casting the spell and decided to try and revert to his other plan as he had no better alternatives. "Go back to the castle with me."
Hermione scoffed. "You stole my wand because you want to hang out with me? Do you think I'm an idiot, Malfoy?" She pointed a gloved hand at her chest when he said this and he saw her hands were smoking through the gloves she wore. Theo noticed too and cast a weak notice-me-not charm over the two so people would stop staring at them and pay attention to the game. Draco didn't speak until most of the students turned back to the game, blinking away the blank stares they had before turning away from them. He knew with Theo's charm being weak, it wouldn't work on anyone who was close to him or Hermione, like Pansy or Ron who were both staring at them at the moment.
He pointed at hand as she had not noticed that both of her hands were smoking herself. "Granger-"
"Malfoy just give me back my wand!" She stopped her foot and the smoke percolated through the gloves at an intense speed. He knew it was purely accidental magic that was being controlled by her emotions but he was intimidated. He never knew how to handle Hermione as she had been a wild card over the past few months, and had already found himself at the wrong end of her wand. Unsure if he had any other choice, he removed her wand from his breast pocket and handed it to her. She snatched it and immediately turned it on him. He put both hands in the air as a sign of surrender but she quickly canceled out the Muffliato charm along with the Notice-Me-Not charm and turned her wand on him.
Hermione was furious at Draco and wanted to hurt him for taking something that was not just as much as a part of her as her hand or foot, but something she made sure she kept on her person at all times as the last time she was without it, her parents died. Hermione considered using the Stinging Jinx, but with so many witnesses after she took down the privacy charms to publicly embarrass him, she settled for something more mundane and cast the Bat Boogey Hex on him.
Madam Hooch's whistle sounded signaling the snitch had been caught. The Gryffindor's were cheering and screaming as they ran down the stairs and Hermione quickly joined them, not just to see who won but to get away from the angry Slytherin's who were already starting to draw their wands to cast hexs back at her. She was immediately engulfed by her house mates and when she got to the bottom, she stayed with the crowd instead of heading back to the Gryffindor commons like she had planned before she came down for the game.
When she made it to the middle of the field where everyone was standing, she saw Marcus Flint, Crabbe, Goyle, and a Slytherin student she recognized as a chaser lying in a crumpled heap near by. What-
"The dementors didn't affect me at all!" Harry said excitedly. "I didn't feel a thing!"
Dementors? Hermione felt a cold that wasn't from the fading winter and she tasted bile gathering in her mouth. He was attacked and I wasn't there.
Professor Lupin laughed. "That would be because they- er- weren't dementors." Lupin gestured to the Slytherin's on the floor that Harry had not noticed yet. Upon Hermione's further inspection, it looked as if Flint and the chaser were standing on Crabbe and Goyle's shoulders as they were dressed as dementors. Hermione became heated once more and her face was nearly a replica of Professor McGonagall's current expression of utmost fury.
"An unworthy trick!" McGonagall was shouting. "A low and cowardly attempt to sabotage the Gryffindor Seeker! Detention for all of you, and fifty points from Slytherin!" Hermione felt herself starting to smile, even though she thought the punishment was light, until she heard Professor Snape's voice from behind them.
"If we are currently taking points from houses, I'm taking fifty points from Gryffindor." Hermione turned to look at him and saw that Pansy Parkinson was closely following behind while staring directly at Hermione with the biggest grin on her face. "Miss Granger attacked one of my students while the seeker had caught the snitch." Hermione quickly scanned the Slytherin's joining Snape behind him and didn't see Draco nor Blaise, but did see Theo.
Everyone turned to look at her and her face felt hot from the attention. The Slytherin's muttering as they smiled wickedly and the Gryffindor's whispered. Hermione tried to defend herself, "He took my wand-"
"Then how did you hex him, then? I can assure you there are more than enough witnesses here to confirm what was done." Pansy flipped her hair over her shoulder as Snape said this and Hermione understood she was the one who reported it, not Draco who had probably left to have the hex lifted by Madam Pomfry. "While you thought all the teachers were distracted, you thought you could get away with attacking Mr. Malfoy. It was- ah, what did you say Minerva? An unworthy trick."
Hermione was at a loss for words as she stared back at Snape. There was silence from everyone as no one knew what to say. She heard the whispers throughout the months and knew that while her housemates thought of her as a kind hearted person, they found it difficult to deny a part of her hadn't changed. They saw her on her worst days, where she was bawling and no amount of comforting helped until she came down after a while. They saw her when she was angry and she snapped at a teacher or at her peers for interrupting her while she studied. The Gryffindors could no longer put it past her that she had attacked another student as she came off as unstable now, even if the claim was coming from Professor Snape. They thought he was unfair but not a liar.
"That's not true." Her voice was small as the pressure of everyone's gaze overwhelmed her. She glanced and Harry and Ron who were furiously whispering to each other. She briefly wondered if it was about her or not, but then she wondered if they were on good terms if they would have stood up for her. If we were talking, I would have went to the game on time with Ron and not had my wand stolen. Hermione scowled at the thought which seemed to be taken as confirmation to Snape's story by everyone else. Snape grinned as McGonagall gave Hermione a concerned look.
For a heartbeat, no one said anything before George Weasley tried to get the Gryffindor's back into a celebratory mood. "Party! Gryffindor common room, now!"
Hermione was nearly asleep that night when she heard very loud yelling.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
She sat up at first, waiting to hear anymore sounds of the party that had been going on until one in the morning before McGonagall insisted everyone go to bed. There was a sound of a door slamming in the distance and the soft pounding of foot steps. It hit her that it was not a yell from teens celebrating and she grabbed her wand, running to the girl's dormitory stairwell. She quickly cast a Glisseo charm on the stairs, turning it into a slide so she could get to the bottom faster. As she neared the bottom of the stairs she kept her wand in front of her, and at the level of her eyes so all she had to do was cast her next spell in the event there was an intruder in the dorm. Please let everyone be safe.
When she got to the bottom, she heard the portrait door close and the sound of several boys coming down the stairs of the dormitory, asking questions as they descended the stairs.
"Who shouted?"
"What're you doing?"
Harry was the first to reach the bottom of the boy's stairs, followed by Ron and Seamus Finnigan. Hermione kept her wand raised as she breathed a sigh of relief seeing they were safe but continued to walk towards the portrait door. The common room's fire was roaring and other than the remains of the debris from the party, it was deserted. More of the boys made it down the stairs and finally, some of the girls did too.
Hermione was almost to the entrance when she heard Seamus' thick Irish accent interrupt her thoughts. "Are you sure you weren't dreaming, Ron?"
"I'm telling you, I saw him!"
"Saw who?" Hermione turned around, finally lowering her wand to look at Ron. Please don't say Black. Ron scowled but looked away, not wanting to say who as he felt Hermione would only gloat about how she had a right to be paranoid about the Firebolt. "Ron this isn't the time!"
"Excellent," Fred interrupted as he and his twin finally made it to the bottom of the stairs. "Are we carrying on?"
"Everyone back upstairs!" said Percy, hurrying into the common room and pinning his Head Boy badge to his pajamas while he spoke.
"Perce- Sirius Black!" The common room got quiet at the name and Hermione gave a sharp gasp. Godric, no. "In our dormitory! With a knife! Woke me up!"
The common room went very still until Percy scoffed, breaking himself out of being startled. "Nonesense! You had too much to eat, Ron- had a nightmare-"
"Don't just brush him off! Sirius Black isn't something we should be lax about!" Hermione had a hand extended gesturing to Ron and he tried to hide the grateful look he had for her standing up to him .
Percy gave Hermione a sympathetic look. "Hermione, you've been through a lot. First the Firebolt, now my brother-"
"Just WHAT are you trying to say, Percy." Hermione's nostrils had flared and a spark came from the top of her wand. Hermione could hear Dr. Augsen's voice in the back of her mind warning her about the risks of letting her emotions rule her magic and she tried to fight very hard against hexing Percy on the spot for what he was insinuating.
Before he could continue though, Professor McGonagall crawled into the Common Room. "Now, really, that's enough! I am delighted that Gryffindor won the match, but this is getting ridiculous! Percy, I expected better of you!"
"I certainly didn't authorize this professor!" Percy puffed up indignantly, "I was just telling them to get back to bed! My brother Ron here had a nightmare-"
"IT WASN'T A NIGHTMARE!" Ron yelled. "PROFESSOR, I WOKE UP, AND SIRIUS BLACK WAS STANDING OVER ME, HOLDING A KNIFE!"
Professor McGonagall stared at him. "Don't be ridiculous, Weasley, how could he possibly have gotten through the portrait hole?"
"Ask him!" said Ron, who was pointing behind McGonagall at the back of Sir Cadogan's portrait, the only portrait in the castle who agreed to take over the Fat Lady's post after her picture was attacked by Sirius Black last time. "Ask him if he saw him!"
McGonagall huffed but turned around and climbed out of the portrait door hole. Hermione half expected McGonagall to leave it at that but then she heard McGonagall speak and the whole common room gathered on the other end of the entrance, listening with bated breath.
"Sir Cadogan, did you just let a man enter Gryffindor Tower?"
"Certainly, good lady!" Cried Sir Cadogan.
There was stunned silence from everyone and Hermione closed her eyes as she let her forehead rest on the wall by the entrance of the portrait. Hermione could feel a migraine starting to form. She was more than scared, she was panic-stricken. Not even Hogwarts, with its magically fortified walls were safe anymore. The only real solstice she felt anymore was... at the Manor. Her eyes drift open at that and she found herself biting back a manic giggle. Eight months ago, she would have never the manor that way.
No one had slept that night and once again, security was upped again at Hogwarts. Sir Cadogan was moved back to his original place in the castle and the Fat Lady returned with surly security trolls to guard her. Neville wasn't allowed to know the passwords to the common rooms as Sir Cadogan informed he let Black in due to Black reading all of the week's passwords that Neville admitted he had written down and lost one day. As if that wasn't bad enough, he was banned from all future Hogsmeade trips for the year and had received another howler at breakfast the following morning.
Hermione tried to approach Ron all of the following week, but people were constantly gathered around him, asking him to repeat his tale of his encounter with Sirius Black. For the moment, he was more famous that Harry and loved the attention he was getting. Harry was happy that the attention wasn't on him for once and not at Hermione's expense.
Hermione had hoped that Ron had realized she was concerned for him too and would put the Scabbers vs. Crookshanks argument aside but he still made no point to seek her out, although he had no issues socializing with Harry. Hagrid made an attempt to talk to them about Hermione, and she waited for them to try to approach her, but they said nothing to her in the common room that Friday night. She decided to do her studies in the common room the following day, hoping they would notice and approach her. Hermione was physically getting sick to the point Dr. Augsen had asked for Hermione to drop a class or two but insisted it was not her classes that were the issue. When Ron and Harry entered the common room after breakfast, they immediately started making plans to sneak Harry into Hogsmeade the following weekend.
"Harry!" Hermione was sitting on a table right behind them, clearing a path of books out of her way so she could properly talk to them. She hadn't eaten all day as she was waiting to see them and she looked completely shaken. She hadn't been sleeping properly since Black's second break-in and even when she was awake, her anxiety was triggering severe flashbacks. "Harry, if you go into Hogsmeade again..." Hermione took a deep breath. She didn't want to say what she was going to say next but Harry going to Hogsmeade was practically begging for death in her eyes. "I'll tell professor McGonagall about the map."
Harry opened his mouth but Ron beat him to it. "Can you hear someone talking, Harry?" Ron looked at Harry, refusing to look at Hermione.
Hermione's voice cracked when she spoke again. "Ron, how can you let him go with you? After what Sirius Black nearly did to you? Aren't you scared?" She saw Ron's back stiffen and hoped that meant he was listening to her this time. "I mean it, I'll tell-"
"So now you're trying to get Harry expelled!" Ron turned around, not hiding how furious he was with her. "Haven't you done enough damage this year?"
Hermione leaned back in her chair, completely dejected. Damage...? Hermione felt something inside of her break then and she could almost physically feel a snapping inside of her. It wasn't in her head like most people suspected had already happened to her, but in her chest. All of a sudden, she felt as if she was there but wasn't there at the same time- as if she was a passenger in her own mind. Someone was driving her and forced her to stand up as Ron turned back to Harry but Harry stared at her. A very far, and a very distant part of her recognized the look on Harry's face as guilt. That same part of her heard Harry tell Ron he was a complete arse and tried to talk to her, ignoring what Ron had said next. Harry grabbed Hermione's arm and she looked at him. She felt herself telling him to let her go and he did, allowing her to crawl out of the portrait door.
Hermione walked around the castle for hours. She didn't feel anything at first, not hunger, not pain as she had completely dissociated. After a few hours, she felt her shift back into the driver's seat of her mind and life became very real for her once again. It started with a silent crying, then she could feel her shoes hitting the cold ground, which woke up other parts of her body like her chest, which hurt from the pain Ron had caused. That pain only got worse as she became aware of her crying and started to sob so hard it hurt to breathe as her throat became scratchy. I only make things worse for them. They don't need me, they don't want me. Hermione paid no attention to where she was walking, even when she ended up outside, only wearing the sweater Molly had knitted and her school robes. It was almost the end of February, but still too cold as the weather ranged between 5 and 7 Celsius. They hate me.
Hermione continued to cry, not caring where she was going until she reached the Astronomy tower. Hermione looked at the barricaded doors and she left like she was in the bath tub on afternoon of Christmas Eve again. She pulled out her wand and with a sob cast an alohormora. The doors unlocked and swung open. In a fleeting thought, she was reminded of Dumbledore and how she thought he was a great wizard, but too trusting of his students. When she got inside, she didn't bother locking the door behind her and started her walk up the stairs.
They think I'm worthless. She hiccuped. I think I'm worthless. All my studying and I am still inadequate. Her head hurt and she felt as if it was ringing. She felt the puffiness of her face from the crying but she didn't care. I never was pretty anyways. Pansy was right, I'd never find anyone with my hair and my teeth. Hermione barely noticed the draft the stairwell had until a strong wind had pushed through and she had to physically stop to make sure she did not loose her balance. Mom would kill me if she saw me without a scarf. Hermione let out something that was between a sob and a scream at that. I was never going to make them proud. No matter how many subjects I took, no matter how many tests I passed, I was always destined to disappoint them. Hermione had thought going up the tower's stairwell was a long walk but soon she found herself at the top of it. Her eyes immediately floated to the unguarded ledge of the tower- A twisted part of her found it funny that the ledge was the reason the tower was supposed to be closed off unless there was a lecture in session, yet she was there. Hermione put her hands on the ledge and she didn't feel scared of the height that she was at, even though it was the tallest point at Hogwarts. She felt scared that she would chicken out and live another day with her pain. Hermione got on her knees on the edge, trying to force herself to stand. I don't deserve to live without them. Hermione felt herself taking deep breathes and she involuntarily shivered as it was much more cold this high up. I'm just a mudblood. Hermione repeated that last thought until she was standing up straight.
She looked to the left, thinking the view was beautiful as the sun started to set over the quidditch pitch. When she felt ready, she looked down and immediately regretted it. Her vertigo kicked in and cleared her mind for a brief second, wanting her to turn back and return to safety. She felt that jolt of shock course through her after another second, even worse than it was in the bath tub. However, Hermione being caught up in her head, failed to notice that there were no sounds of life around her, and the cold was more than numbing, but bone chilling. When she turned around to climb back down, she was face to face with a dementor who was pulling back its hood, taking in a rattling breath- causing her to faint and plummet towards the ground.
Knowing that Slytherin was playing against Gryffindor, Draco suggested to Flint that they up their practices to several times a week after lunch but before dinner. Usually, he would not even bother suggesting it as Flint was the type to brush things off when there was something like a Firebolt on his side, but Draco used his humiliation at their failed dementor plan in his favor. Flint agreed and after showing off his Firebolt to his team- which Crabbe was livid about but refused to show it to anyone but Draco- they trained, hard. Draco had been training with the Beaters so they could practice hitting someone flying on a Firebolt while Flint had the rest of the team do their regular drills.
After practice was done, Draco stayed out on the field, practicing his turns and short stops. When he felt it was time to go inside, as his warming charms were becoming less effective the more the sun disappeared from view, he glided towards the ground, moving as a leisurely speed. He was grinning ear to ear and told himself he would send a letter to his father, thanking him a second time for the broom. Draco's thoughts drifted to Hermione and how she hated Harry's Firebolt. He had been avoiding her lately, as he was concerned she may come after him a second time: The look in her eyes when they were in the stands was one he noticed his father sometimes had. It was when Lucius was punishing Draco and wanted to do worse, but didn't because he was 'holding back.' Draco wondered what would have happened if she would have agreed to return to the castle with him instead of being the loyal Gryffindor Princess she was.
He was in the middle of daydreaming about what song he would have played for her if she wanted to go to the music room when he happened to notice an odd figure at the top of the astronomy tower. After he drifted a few meters closer, he recognized one to be the cloak of a dementor but the other... His eyes widened as he realized that the other figure was a student. Panic hit him and he turned to tell his Head of House but then the figure started to fall to the ground, falling at an alarming speed.
For a moment, he thought he wouldn't get there on time but then remembered he had a Firebolt. He gripped the handle and raced forward, pulling out his wand to cast a cushioning charm in the event he was wrong about the broom's speed.
Right when he finished casting the charm, he connected with the figure, grabbing them by the waist and he hoped he did not hurt them further when he felt pain shoot in his shoulder. The extra weight was something he did not account for and he ended up flying side ways until he was able to slow down and drift closer to the ground again. When they were low enough, he gently climbed down from the broom and froze as he finally saw who it was. The Firebolt had moved so fast her clothes were just a blur of color when he reached her, making her unrecognizable while they were in the air.
Merlin, no. Hermione's head lolled back as she was completely unconscious and when he used one hand to lift her head, he saw her lips were void of their usual pink and was a very pale blue. Please don't be dead. Draco looked back and could see the dementor in the distance. With the way it's cloak moved, he was unsure if it was coming closer but he had no intention to stay if it was. Draco removed Hermione's cloak and transfigured it into a stretcher, as transfiguration was easier than conjuration. He easily lifted her on to it, despite his shoulder objecting with pain, and looked back at the dementor that could tell was now coming closer. Draco cast a spell to link the stretcher to his Firebolt so he could guide her to the hospital wing.
Draco flew at a hurried speed but made sure it wasn't so fast to where she was in danger of slipping off the stretcher. He silently sent prayers as he flew, hoping that to whatever God was listening, she had not received the kiss and was still... Hermione. Draco passed by Filch who started to yell and chase after him but Draco refused to slow down. A small part of him hoped that no one else saw him but a bigger part of him did not care at that moment. Granger's a good person who doesn't deserve any of this. Please let her be ok.
When he finally made it to the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey was finishing up her treatment on Crabbe who had gotten hurt in practice. Both Madam Pomfrey's and Crabbe's eye widened when Draco used his wand to throw open the doors, and end the spell on Hermione's cloak, letting her fall gently onto a hospital bed. Madam Pomfrey immediately ran over and started to check her vitals.
"What happened?"
"A dementor attacked her. Outside." Should I lie about where she was?
"Were you attacked, too?" He shook his head and, thankfully, Madam Pomfrey didn't ask him where exactly Hermione was. When she was done looking Hermione over, she looked him in the eyes, answering a question he did not know he was waiting an answer on. "She's going to be fine although she should have been covered up a bit more. She almost went into the second stage of hypothermia and has heavy bruising on her left side." Shite, I should've put a warming charm on her.
Madam Pomfrey walked off to get her supplies and Draco locked eyes with Crabbe who was staring him down. Draco put on a look of distaste that would have rivaled his father's and he removed his wand so the privacy curtains surrounded Hermione's bed. Draco pulled up a chair and sat next to her bed. What were you doing up there, Granger? There was a very short list in his mind on why a student would be at the astronomy tower and genuinely wanted to know why she was up there so he could rule out the bad scenarios.
Draco watched Madam Pomfrey work on Hermione, at first she cast a slow working warming charm, so she did not go into shock from the change in temperatures (which made him feel worse as he did not think of that either,) then she force fed Hermione a mixture of pure chocolate and milk down her throat to counteract the effects of the dementor on her. Madam Pomfrey then started to chip off chunks of chocolate from the small chocolate boulder the had on the plate in front of her. "Will she be waking up anytime soon?"
Madam Pomfrey gave a soft snort. "No, she won't. The poor girl is completely drained." Madam Pomfrey turned to him, wiping her hands off on her skirt. "I'm going to need you to leave Mr. Malfoy. I need to heal her bruises." She paused for a second, before putting her hands on her side. "Do you happen to know how she got the bruises?"
His shoulder and neck screamed 'YES' but what he told the healer was "No."
She nodded, as she had the tendency to not ask too many questions. "Very well." Madam Pomfrey turned back to Hermione and started to lift her sweater as he left. When he stepped out of the privacy curtains, Crabbe was gone and when Draco checked the time with his wand, he saw that dinner had just finished. His stomach growled but he reminded himself he had been through worse hungers and returned to his common room.
As he laid in bed, he tried not to think about Hermione, trying to remind himself that he should hate her for hexing him, for publicly embarrassing him, not wanting to figure her out like she was a puzzle. Draco hardly knew her and yet, every part that he saw of her left an impression that he wanted to explore. She was like the Manor or Hogwarts: a collection of secrets that he wanted to know.
After saving her, Draco had fully come to terms with the fact that he knew what he wanted. He wanted to be her friend and have the same loyalty she seemed to have with Harry and Ron.
A/N: 5 degrees Celsius is 41 degrees Fahrenheit and 7 degrees Celsius is 44.6 degrees Fahrenheit.
CharmedMistletoe: Thank you :) I was unsure how people felt about Andromeda being Dr. Augsen so I am happy for the positive feedback!
Guest: Thank you :D I was found of the scene myself :)
MotekElm: Thank you for your constant support *Salutes*
Alice Helena: THANK YOU FOR NOT THINKING IT'S BORING :') I was so unhappy with how slow it felt (to me at least) and was worried about it. It's a relief to know the snark and sass in that chapter was appreciated. Honestly, I felt the same way when I saw J.K. said he wore a green bowler hat. Like, WHAT lol. I try to make him scum of the earth, because my Fudge is an ass (to put it very lightly.) Narcissa for sure has never had to prep a meal for necessity in her life.
AND THANK YOU AGAIN bc I was so worried about the stairs scene. I kept thinking it was stupid but I could not stop cracking up about it the more I imagined it. If Narcissa was there, it would have been the cherry on top I imagine.
I would love to put out 30k chapters, but then I would only update once a month lmao. Possible in another fic that won't have a lot of chapters like this one will have although I do think in the later years the chapters will get longer.