A/N: Well I have been away from my writing desk for quite some time... but happy to report it's been in service of my life/career BIG TIME. Lots of amazing things have been happening, and I definitely needed to step away from fanfic for a while. I have now sorted out that I can spend every other weekend doing writing on this fic. So, that's about how often to expect updates from here on. I expect this one to be about 5 more chapters at most. And I hope you enjoyed this one! Please leave a comment, it is great to have the feedback 3

"Oh Draco, that's wonderful!"

It was far too early for shouting and I grimaced at the sound of Pansy's shrill voice echoing through her flat, even as a smile crossed my face. I put a hand to my head.

"I'll take that tea now," I groaned.

Pansy had halted her tea-making progress to listen to my story about Granger's late-night texts. I'd floo called her the moment I'd woken up, if you could call it waking up, given I'd hardly slept at all.

"Right!" she said, jumping to her feet and spinning around, her candy blue kimono spiraling in her wake. As she bustled about she said, "so, what are you going to do?"

"Actually, I was hoping you'd have some suggestions because I haven't a fucking clue."

"Well," she said, coming back to the table now with cups and saucers in hand, "what do you want?"

I just stared back, feeling a snide remark about how I hadn't come here for a coaching session die on my tongue.

"I suppose that's what I need to decide."

I stared down at the wooden table in front of me dragging a finger across the grain. Glancing around the small kitchen, I was once again reminded of my father's bribe to Granger. This flat could have been hers, but she'd declined. Of course she had. That's what my mother had said. Because Granger was someone who knew what she wanted, and my mother could tell.

I had been becoming someone who knew what he wanted, more and more. So what was so difficult about this?

"Look, Draco. This isn't that complicated. She's just letting you know that she's ready, she'd not demanding you decide anything now. I think it's fine if you don't know."

"You think?" I said, releasing a breath with a hopeful sense of relief.

"I'm sure," she said with a smile.

I scowled at her. "How are you sure? Did she say something to you?"

Pansy threw her head back with laughter, which startled me. Eyes wide, I shouted, "what?!"

"You! You're so skittish! No, she did not say anything to me, I just understand girls, being that I am one, and well…" she trailed off, looking in the direction of her bedroom.

I spun around to look as well, and then refocused on her.

"Tracey's here?"

She grinned and stuck her tongue out slightly between her teeth. "Sleeping. We were up late," she said and took a sip of her tea to hide her smile.

I couldn't help but internally remark on my lack of a sex life.

My unfamiliarity with the idea of someone spending the night.

Of being up late.

Was that it, then? More insecurity? I rolled my eyes at myself before noticing that Pansy was staring.

"Wow," she said, walking towards me. then she leaned down and knocked softly on the top of my head as she said, "there's a lot going on in there."

I shooed her hand away, but continued on unaffected. "I just don't know, Pans. It seems like it should be simple, but it feels anything but."

"Draco," she said, sitting down and taking my hand. "Your first time is certainly a big deal, but I think you've already handled the first hurdle."

"And what's that?"

She smiled slightly and tilted her head. "You found someone you care about."

That sent a jolt through my stomach. I did care. Obviously. So why did the statement make me feel a bit ill? My face must have shown as much, because Pansy laughed again.

"This inner war with yourself is terribly entertaining from out here, you know."

"What war?!"

She laughed and put her cup down on the table with extra emphasis, the thud echoing though the little kitchen.

"The one where you can't accept that you have feelings, Draco!"

I scoffed, pushing my chair back and causing a loud screeching noise from the legs moving across the tile floor. I stood and began pacing the small room.

"I can accept that I have feelings, that's not the problem!"

"Well then what-" Pansy said, but stopped mid-sentence, her eyes wide and focused over my shoulder.

I spun around, and my eyes flew just as wide.

"Wussal the racket?"

Weasley was approaching the kitchen, head down staring at the floor, and… shirtless.

He looked up and stopped in his tracks when he spotted me.

"Malfoy?!" he said, and it seemed to pain him to do so for a few reasons.

I slowly turned around to face Pansy, who was stuck staring like a statue.

"Weasley! How did you get out of the bedroom?!"

Just then, Tracey appeared behind him looking harried.

"I'm sorry, babe! I thought you'd just gotten up to make breakfast and cast those charms because you wanted to surprise us, but… we're awake!"

"Clearly!" shrieked Pansy.

For a few moments we all just exchanged looks, and uncomfortable silence settling in, only to be broken by Weasley's voice…

"Surprise?" he said.

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I left Pansy's after she had me nearly swear a blood oath not to tell anyone about what I'd seen. When I arrived back at the manor, I released the heaps of pent up laughter I'd been holding in out of respect for my friend. Weasley! Imagine that.

Though… I really did not want to imagine it at all.

Doubled over with tears in my eyes, I hadn't noticed my mother sitting in the room reading.

"Well, you simply must tell me the joke, Draco, I could use a good laugh just now."

I looked up with a sharp intake of breath.

"Oh no, Mother, I can't tell unfortunately. Pansy made me swear an oath."

Mother raised an eyebrow, then smirked. "Well then, no matter. I'm sure I'll be able to discover whatever it is from her myself when she comes for my final gown fitting this evening."

The ball. Again, I'd forgotten about it. Sudden images flew through my mind of Granger in an elaborate green gown, arm in arm with me.

"You left early this morning."

Mother's voice brought me back to the present and I looked up to see her striding towards me with that determined look she got whenever she wanted details. Of course, she no longer needed to prod for them these days.

"I went to have breakfast with Pansy," I said, the image of shirtless Weasley threatening to make me fall apart again.

"Lovely. Well, could you stand another cup of tea to tell me how last night went?"

I smiled, finding it rather endearing that my mother now followed the goings on of my life like a book she couldn't put down.

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I sent Granger a text around mid-day.

"Bit busy the next few days. Dinner Thursday?"

I hoped to Merlin it wasn't too obvious that I was stalling for time. Wednesday was when I'd have my rescheduled coaching session. Thursday would be my therapy appointment, and in the meantime, I could get some work done. Especially because Potter and I had planned for him to come by at the weekend and review my plans. I wanted to be prepared.

Mercifully, she responded right away. "Sounds perfect."

I took a deep breath, hoping that she didn't assume Thursday would be the night.

Would it be? I hardly knew. I was trying to take it one day at a time.

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Over the next two days, I did indeed spend time working on my business plan. From marketing and PR with Blaise, to actual potions work with Theo, and financials with Goyle (who, it turns out, always had a fascination with muggle mathematics) I was getting support on all fronts.

Coaching with Michelle was an interesting one. I'd thought she would have forced me to say some sort of goal around the relationship, but she seemed more willing than ever to let me be where I was.

Toward the end of the session I had asked her why.

"I think you're forgetting that I'm just a mirror," she'd said.

"Meaning?"

She'd simply raised an eyebrow at me, a small smirk appearing that I couldn't tell whether she'd intended.

"Fine, I'll work it out on my own," I'd retorted.

She'd let out a small laugh, making a note in her book as she said, "seems like you already have."

Amazing that she could still piss me off.

Therapy was a whole other affair. I had never wanted to crawl out of my own skin and slink out of the room more.

After all was said and done, I couldn't quite remember all we had discussed. All I knew was that I was left with more questions than answers.

The prospect of my first time happening that night had me rattled. Still. I thought this whole support thing was supposed to mean being sure of myself all the time. I used to be sure of myself by letting no one else's opinion affect me. This new thing where I actually seek out others was seeming like utter bollocks once again.

Time moved on, regardless of my desire to freeze it in place, and before I knew it I was back at the Ministry to pick Granger up for our dinner date.

As I approached her office, I saw that the door was ajar and could hear voices. I truly did not intend to eavesdrop. In fact, I didn't even pause as I approached the door to knock, and yet I could not help overhearing her last statement.

"I will do no such thing, Harry Potter, now leave my office at once before I curse you-" My knock and subsequent pushing in of the door stopped her statement in its tracks. Potter spun around, a wry smile on his face. I observed a latent urge to scowl at him, but smirked back instead.

He did this weird thing with his eyebrows as he said, "Malfoy… right on time. She likes that, you know."

I chuckled. "Yes, so I've been told."

Granger stood from her desk and said through gritted teeth, "Harry James."

He spun around the face her, hands in the air and said, "alright I'm going." Then he turned and extended a hand to me, which I took.

"Still on for Saturday?"

I nodded.

"Great. I'll see you then."

He clapped me on the back as he left the room. After a beat, he poked his head back in and said, "have a good night you two." Then he did that eyebrow wiggle thing again.

"Potter!" Granger screamed, but he was gone. I grinned at her, noting how adorable she looked with flushed cheeks.

"Riling you up is meant to be my job, I thought."

She exhaled, blowing a stray curl out of her face. She had more makeup on than I was used to seeing her wear, and I was certain she'd hadn't arrived at work in her current attire. A red shimmering blouse and muggle jeans. I had to hand it to muggles for the whole jeans thing.

"It certainly was your job, but you seem to have been ousted."

I shrugged, sliding my hands into my pockets. I was also donning muggle clothing, given we were going to a favorite place of hers in muggle London.

"I reserve the right to take on some of my duties regardless of title or compensation."

Coming out from behind her desk and approaching me, she said, "I would expect no less."

I leaned down to kiss her and internally remarked at how simple it was when we were together. Far more simple than I ever made it in my own head. Perhaps the evening would be fine. I already felt my nerves dissipating. Michelle's smirk flew through my mind, and I thought of the query she'd left me with.

Maybe she'd just been trying to reflect my own clarity back to me. I had been searching for answers I already had. Rolling my eyes at myself, I recalled that that was always the case with coaching. Why it took my thick skull so many rounds of learning the same lesson over and over, I'd never know.

Somehow, being with Granger helped me see myself more clearly than ever.

"Shall we?" she said, after pulling slowly away from our kiss.

I nodded. She threaded her fingers through mine, and we proceeded into the corridor holding hands.

And just like that, a whoosh of insecurity flooded through me. Sure, we'd been in the papers together, but holding hands at the Ministry was a first, and I was heavily aware of the eyes on us as we entered the lift. She did not release my hand for a second.

It felt similar to the way it had the first time she'd taken my hand… out in the streets on the way to the Jobberknoll for lunch. Of course, then we hadn't been… an item? I wasn't sure exactly how to characterize it.

As soon as the lift doors opened to the atrium we were met with a flash.

Reporters. Multiple. Rita Skeeter was nowhere to be found, as rumor had it she'd fleed to America after the war. That didn't stop the gossip columns from running, however. As it turned out, any busy body could write a heavily falsified article and call it news.

Granger did not flinch. She simply gripped my hand tighter and plastered a smirk on her face as we made our way through the crowd. Dozens of witches and wizards spun around to see what the big story was. Gasps and murmurs broke out around us, the tone of which ranged from shock to utter excitement.

What an odd sensation, and one I had never experienced in my life.

Though I imagined, as I watched her stride proudly across the atrium, that this was old hat for Granger.

I matched her energy, with a touch less pride and a bit more humility in my expression than hers. I thought it apropos. After all, I was the one asking forgiveness of the wizarding world at large. Granger's only aim was to convey that she didn't care what anyone thought… which was actually on brand for her.

We reached the floo and I gestured for her to go first. Glancing at the cameras first, she leaned up and kissed me gently on the lips before grinning at me and stepping into the floo. I followed without a backward glance.

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Once we were on the streets of muggle London, I turned to her and said, "you expected that lot to be waiting, then?"

She smirked and rolled her eyes, "they're far too predictable, and I'm far too stubborn to let them see me rattled."

"Were you?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

She stopped walking abruptly and turned to me, pursing her lips in consideration. "Now that you mention it… no. I'm quite content."

Her eyes were boring into mine, and I felt my face heat slightly. Still, I held her gaze.

She squeezed my hand and turned to continue walking towards the restaurant. We did so in a comfortable silence.

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Dinner was similarly comfortable and easy. She asked me about the work I'd been doing, and I had plenty to share. We had a good laugh about Goyle's fascination with muggle mathematics. I steered clear of sharing the happenings in Pansy's kitchen, though I came close to inquiring about Weasley a few times, eventually deciding it would seem too out of place.

Then, just as dessert arrived at the table, Granger inquired about Pansy.

"How is your mother's gown coming along? I assume Pansy's been hard at work given the date of your ball is now set."

The ball. How did I keep forgetting about it?

"Oh, Pansy has been busy for sure," I replied before I could restrain myself.

To my surprise, Granger put her tea cup down with a bit too much force.

"Do you know?" she asked, her voice rapt with intrigue.

I stared back, mouth agape, unsure how much to reveal.

"Do I know… what?" I asked carefully.

She squinted, studying my expression, which I was careful to hold steady. I might have opened up recently, but I could still switch off my emotions with a moment's notice if I needed to.

"If you don't immediately know what I'm referencing, then there's no way you know."

I leaned forward, placing my elbows on the table in the way I was trained never to do, and squinted right back at her.

"Suppose I do know something, and yet I was forced to swear an oath of secrecy…"

Granger's eyes flew wide and her face broke into a grin. "Well you won't need to break your oath. Ron drunk texted me on his way out of the bar, and Harry and I got the rest out of him the next morning! Can you even believe it?!"

Mirth cascaded through my body. What an incredible relief.

"Honestly, Granger, if I hadn't seen the poor sod shirtless and hungover in her kitchen, you couldn't have convinced me of it under torture."

She threw her head back in laughter.

We laughed for a long time. Followed by a litany of jokes at their expense. When the waiter came with the check, we were both wiping tears from our eyes and apologizing for our incoherence.

We left the restaurant hand in hand, still laughing. We made our way back to wizarding London and when we reached the floo we turned to one another and spoke simultaneously.

"Do you want to-"

"We could go back to-"

We both laughed sheepishly. Then she took my hand and said, "come and see my flat."

"Alright," I said. And for the first time all night, a hint of trepidation was evident in my voice.

She guided me to the floo, and in a few moments, we were stepping into a small living room.

"Not as grand as the manor," she said jovially, as she put her bag down on a side table and strode over to a doorway that looked like it led to her kitchen.

I followed and watched her retrieve two wine glasses from the cupboard. Leaning against the doorframe, I said, "it's exactly what I imagined, actually."

She laughed to herself and then turned her back on the glasses she'd just set down, taking the few steps needed to close the distance between us.

"So you've imagined it, then?" she said. "Being here?"

She was grazing my fingers with hers, and I returned the gesture, allowing our fingers to entwine. I looked down at our hands, smirking.

"Perhaps I have," I muttered.

Then her other hand was on my chin and she brought my eyes to hers, stepping closer still so that our bodies were now touching.

"And what happens next?" she almost whispered into my mouth.

My eyes traveled down to her lips and back up to her eyes. She seemed to be steadying her own breathing with some effort, and I could feel her heart racing, probably in rhythm with my own. Still, knowing she was in that state emboldened me.

"We forget about the wine," I said, and captured her lips in a hungry kiss. A kiss we both knew was leading somewhere. And I found once again, that where I thought I would be uncertain and anxious, I felt oddly clear. Something about this witch just gave me access to confidence I didn't know I had.

I threaded my fingers through her hair and she wrapped her arms around me, pushing me back into the living room as we kissed. We toppled onto the couch, and she put a leg on either side of me. I let my hands slide down to her lower back, and she shoved hers across my chest, forcing my blazer off my shoulders. Leave it to Granger to be the one in command even when we're both new to the experience.

I didn't mind, of course, it was bloody sexy. Still, I thought I needed to show a bit more self-assurance in this instance. I slid my hands down to her backside, further appreciating the wonder of muggle jeans, and stood, picking her up easily. Her legs wrapped around my instinctively, but she broke our kiss in surprise.

"Where's your room?" I asked.

"Upstairs," she said with a bemused expression. "Are you going to carry me all the way there?"

I laughed and leaned my forehead against her chest before lowering her to the floor.

"Lead the way," I said. She grinned at me, and then turned and walked towards the staircase behind the fireplace, her hand grasping one of my fingers. I closed the distance between us, kissing her neck and wrapping my arms around her waist, which made it difficult for her to walk, but I didn't care and nor did she, it seemed. We paused halfway up the stairs, lost in a kiss. It took me a moment to register that she was unbuttoning my shirt. I responded in kind by undoing the top button of her jeans, which caused her to gasp, and then let out a small moan as she dragged me the rest of the way up the stairs.

I didn't see what her bedroom looked like, as we didn't stop kissing as we entered, and nor did she turn all the lights on. She backed purposefully into her bed and pulled me down on top of her, once again shoving her hands into my sleeves, now forcing my shirt off. then she pulled hers over her head, which I was grateful for because I wasn't sure if there were any fasteners or buttons to undo. There weren't, apparently. She also unzipped her jeans, and I took the cue from her and helped slide them off.

My mind registered the fact that this was all happening rather quickly, and yet… it wasn't. It had been planned… premeditated… for both of us. It felt like a dance. One that neither of us had done before, and yet together we were discovering the moves.

We touched, kissed, and explored one another's bodies. Occasionally we bumped heads or got an arm caught when repositioning. Every time, we just laughed easily and returned right to what we'd been doing.

When it finally came time for us to… cross that line, I paused and whispered, "are you sure you're ready?"

She was rather out of breath, but said, "oh! where's my wand?"

I looked over to the side table that I could see now that my eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and saw the outline of her wand. She had already followed my gaze and retrieved it quickly.

She pointed it at her own stomach and muttered two spells in quick succession before looking up at me.

"Contraception and lubrication charms," she said, as though we were back in my lab, discussing a potion.

I just smiled down at her. "I see you've thought of everything."

"You have met me, haven't you?"

"I have, as it happens," I said. "And uh, are you not already… lubricated enough? Because by my assessment I'd say you don't require a charm."

She hit me in the arm and I flinched accordingly.

"By my assessment I'd say I don't either, only it's meant to hurt a lot the first time and you can't be too cautious!"

I leaned down and kissed her vigorously. Whatever tension our brief conversation had stirred in either of us melted away, and I was struck once again by how comfortable this all seemed, especially considering the circumstances.

Finally, I broke the kiss and once again asked, "ready?"

She reached down to reposition herself, guiding me into place while maintaining eye contact.

"Yes," she whispered back, and then pulled me down into a kiss as I entered her slowly.

She broke the kiss for a moment to gasp. I froze.

"Should I stop?"

"No."

Then, she was kissing me again, as well as thrusting her hips up ever so slightly, encouraging me to keep going.

As I did so, I let out a long moan. Despite my preoccupation with her discomfort, I could not help reacting to the sensation. It was like the elixir to induce euphoria, except through my entire body instead of just my chest.

I pulled back and looked down at her. "Shall I keep going?"

"Yes," she whispered again, and so I did. Her gasp was smaller this time, but her discomfort was still clearly evident.

"Couldn't you cast a charm for the pain?" I asked.

She shook her head. "I don't want to numb myself. Let's just keep going."

We on like that, slowly, for some time. Eventually our hands were entwined again. I placed gentle kisses up and down her neck and cheeks, and she responded in kind.

After a while, I felt her whole body relax, and she began to encourage me to go faster. I did. And it was heaven. I didn't even know if I believed in heaven, but she was heaven.

It suddenly dawned on me that I might not be able to last much longer. It was all rather overwhelming.

It was at that moment that she whispered my name. I responded instinctively.

"Hermione," I whispered back.

"Draco..."

"Hermione…"

I was lost in her completely. I felt myself reaching the edge.

"Hermione, I don't know if I can keep-"

"Let me get on top."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and I obliged, changing positions relatively quickly.

And then she was lowering herself onto me, and seeing her from that vantage point did nothing to help my situation. But then she let out a moan of pleasure and said, "it doesn't hurt at all now." A mischievous grin spread across her face as she began gyrating on top of me, and I really thought I was done for.

Then she suddenly gasped, except it wasn't from pain this time.

"Draco, I'm-" she said, but then couldn't speak.

It was clear to me what was happening, and I let myself fall apart with her.

As we were laying there, wrapped around one another and still completely out of breath, I kissed up and down her neck, and nuzzled my face behind her ear. I breathed in the rosy scent of her hair, which was now wildly dancing in all directions.

She had her arms around my neck and squeezed even more tightly.

"I love you."

It was a whisper. Into the darkness.

And it took me more than a few moments to realize that it had come from my own mouth.