Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
~Lily~ Red and Moony
Lily groggily sat up in her bed, with light pouring through the windows. She yawned and got out of bed, stretching. Lily froze when she saw a person laying beside her. Lily gasped in surprise, but then she realized it was only Edgar and her heart rate slowed. She trusted him. Her memories of last night came flooding back. Lily sat back down on her bed, deep in thought. She had been hanging out with James and she even flirted with him a little. Then she went to dance where she saw Edgar. They talked for awhile and he was very sweet and considerate and handsome. She learnt that he was in the Auror Program which was a big change from his old ambitions. He said he wanted to make a difference and that being an Auror was the best way he knew. And she was happy to see him, they hadn't really spoken since this time last year and Lily missed him. He was a nice guy and a sweet friend. She knew they weren't meant to be and was completely content with just staying friends, but then he began kissing her. And she kissed him back. She wasn't sure what she was thinking. Maybe she was just tired and tipsy. Or maybe she wanted someone to fill the lonlieness that she felt. The void that those who had left her had left. Edgar was there and he was speaking such valiant words about the war. She finally remembered the poetic and morally correct man that she had dated so briefly. So she kissed him back and she liked it.
But after midnight she was too tired to go on. Edgar hadn't made her feel whole again and her heart throbbed at the sight of James and Melissa. She wanted to go to bed, but Edgar didn't want to leave her. And Lily could've kicked him out, but on some level she didn't want to be alone either. So Lily and Edgar slept together in the most innocent sense of the phrase. Now he was still here and Lily didn't know what to think about it. She liked Edgar, he's nice and good-looking, but they ended for a reason. Now she was finally becoming super close to James, who despised Edgar. And on top of that she almost kissed James last night. Lily was a mess and she needed to clear her head. Lily walked out of her room careful to not wake Edgar and she tiptoed to a nearby balcony. There were plants growing all up the walls and in hanging pots giving it a natural feel. It reminded her of the Herbology room.
"Sorry, I didn't see you there," A voice said after pulling the door open. Lily spun around and saw James looking sad and tired.
"It's alright," Lily said. James began to pull the doors closed and Lily stopped him.
"Stay, it's your house after all." Lily removed her hand from his upper arm. James shrugged and walked into the plant filled balcony. He leant over the edge, his disheveled hair catching the light.
"Happy New Year, James," Lily said smiling.
"Happy New Year, Lily," he replied still not facing her.
"Do you come out here a lot?"
"Only when I need to clear my head," he said. She didn't know how to respond to that, but she was here for the same reason.
"Are you ready for school?" Lily pried. She hated him being so reclusive.
"Yes."
"Have any pranks planned?"
"I thought you can't condone that, Evans." James said, finally facing her. He had large bags beneath his fiery eyes and his expression was defiant. Lily knew there was more to his rotten mood than being hungover.
"Is this about Edgar?" Lily said remembering what Edgar had said to James in Hogsmeade.
"Never mind," James grumbled looking out towards the lawn again.
"No, tell me James. Are you mad at me because Edgar and I kissed last night?" Lily insisted. She reached out to his shoulder trying to make him look at her.
"Seemed like the two of you did a lot more than kiss," James muttered bitterly.
"Are you joking?" Lily said dismayed, "I hope you are kidding. I would never. I have never. Oh my God James, I seriously can't believe you right now!"
"We all saw you bring Edgar up to your room. And no one saw him leave!"
"I can't believe you were stalking me. And Edgar stayed in my room overnight, but we did not have sex!" Lily shouted.
"How should I know that!" James yelled back, shaking his head.
"You shouldn't and to be perfectly honest it's none of your business," Lily said hurt. She thought James could've got over her by now. She thought that he was at least going to hide his feelings.
"It is too my business if you're off with some bloke shagging in my home!" James defended.
"You think I'm some tart running off to her ex just for something to do?" Lily scoffed, "That's honestly who you think I am?"
"I- I dunno what to think-"
"And somehow no one would exactly judge you if you brought Melissa back to your room. Instead you'd be congratulated for it." Her tone was bitter. She had so many things to say, but she wanted to hear his defence, however weak.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so judgemental, I just don't want to see you get hurt," James said quieter.
"It isn't your job, James. I can take care of myself," Lily said just as quiet. Her heart panged as she saw him in pain.
"I know, I just- It hurts me everytime I see you cry. Or whenever you're sad," James said. Lily heard his words and the pain flowing through them. And somehow, his pain took away her anger.
"You can't help it can you?" Lily said forgetting her anger for a moment, "You can't help but say the sweetest things."
"Well most of the time the things I say make you angry," James said with a weak smile.
"Not anymore," she told him with a smile too, "Granted you do make me angry, but I know you have good intentions."
"What are friends for," James said his smile fading. Lily knew he didn't want to just be friends and she was conflicted on how she felt too. Her feelings were muddled and confusing. She gulped and gave him a brief hug. She couldn't help herself.
"I suppose we should go back now," James said tentatively. He seemed to be in a rush and almost like he couldn't stand to be around her. Odd seeing the conversation they had had.
"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute," Lily said. James nodded and exited the balcony leaving Lily to her thoughts. She couldn't actually like James, could she? No, she's despised him for too long and he always tries to play the hero. And he's just been accusing her of being a slag. She can't be with someone like that, she needs to stand on her own and prove that she's as good as any pureblood. James is the opposite of what she needs. He's a troublemaker, he partakes in illegal activities, and is too confident for his own good. But he's sweet, and brilliant, he sticks up for his friends, takes people in because he knows he has the perfect life so he uses it to help people. He's brave, and cute, and has a big heart. Lily stands there in frustration as good thoughts of James bring a smile to her face. Lily can't like James Potter. She just can't.
Lily sighed and exited the balcony, returning to her room. She saw Edgar sitting on her bed, his face lighting up when he saw her. His hair was the messiest she had ever seen and it seemed unnatural to look so... well natural.
"Lily!" he exclaimed.
"Hey Edgar," Lily said.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing, but we need to talk," Lily said bluntly. She didn't want to mislead him. It wouldn't be fair, because she knew her feelings didn't belong with Edgar, she wasn't sure what they were yet, but definitely not with Edgar.
"Look Edgar, you're a great guy-" Lily said.
"Oh, it's that kind of talk," Edgar sighed.
"I'm sorry. But you truly are a great guy, just not the one for me," Lily tried to gentle. "Besides I'm still in school and you are becoming an Auror. It just wouldn't work."
"Got it, it was bound to come. Tell James I said hello," Edgar said rising from the bed.
"Why does every guy compare them to another guy in my life," Lily cried in frustration. And it always came back to James.
"Because any guy that has the chance to be with someone as perfect as you, knows that they aren't worthy. That there is someone who will make you happier and just as perfect as you. Lilybear, no one measures up when they are beside you." Edgar said with a sad smile. Lily's heart swelled at his words, although she knew that they weren't true. Lily was no where near perfect. Probably further away than most.
"Edgar," Lily said softly, a smile prominent, "You're going to find someone perfect for you, I know it."
"So will you, but conviently enough you've already met him," Edgar said, "Everyone knows that you and James are meant to be together. Just promise me you won't let your stubborness prevent that from happening, okay?"
"I don't know..." Lily began. Now even her ex-boyfriend was saying it. Lily didn't want to be swayed by others, she needed to come to a conclusion by herself.
"But everyone else does, that is except you and James," Edgar said with a chuckle. "Even my sister knows it. She's just out here doing the same as me, trying to measure up."
"You don't need to measure up to anyone, especially not me. And James has liked me forever," Lily said.
"Yeah but like I said before, no one actually believes they have a chance with Lily Evans," Edgar said.
"Since when did you become so damn insightful?" Lily asked. This was the side of Edgar they were missing during their relationship. He was too busy trying to impress her that he forgot to be himself.
"Ever since I ruined my chance with you." His words broke her a little. Was she really that horrible? Edgar didn't deserve any of this. Not the heartbreak or the mess of an ex-girlfriend that Lily was.
"Take care Lily Evans," Edgar said before walking out the door.
"Wait!" Lily shouted. She ran over to him and kissed his cheek, "Goodbye Edgar Bones." He smiled at her with his classically handsome face, then he walked without looking back. Lily sighed, a huge weight lifting from her chest. But her feelings were as unsettling as ever, because they were starting to clear up.
"Hey Lils," Marlene said groggily exiting her room with Sirius.
"Merlin's saggy left-" Sirius said looking at Edgar walking away.
"Is that Edgar Bones? You two didn't-" Marlene said holding her hand over her mouth.
"No we didn't, alright. He insisted on staying and we slept next to one another, quite innocently. I just officially ended things with him," Lily scowled.
"How'd he take it?" Marlene asked.
"Well actually. He actually started saying how I belonged with James anyway," Lily laughed even though her thoughts were restless. She couldn't let them know what she was thinking or how she might feel about James.
"Interesting," Marlene said smiling at Sirius. To Lily's surprise, they didn't say another word about it, and Lily was content with that.
"Wanna grab breakfast ladies?" Sirius asked.
"Sounds lovely," Marlene said with a large grin.
"You two seem awfully chipper," Lily said with a pointed glance.
"Well last night-" Sirius began. Marlene burst into giggles, and Marlene never giggled.
"Oh I do not want to know," Lily said with her eyes wide with shock.
"If you say so, Red," Sirius said.
"Bugger off," Lily said, causing Sirius to laugh.
"Feisty isn't she? Just like my Marlene," Sirius said.
"I'm not your anything," Marlene said.
"What's a bloke gotta do around here, I mean we shagged just last night," Sirius whined in a joking way.
"That was more information than I needed, so I'll leave you guys alone for a bit," Lily said as Marlene kissed him. She hurried into the kitchen, thinking how lucky Sirius and Marlene were. They just easy together, they both wanted the same thing. Meanwhile Lily was stuck and confused. She saw Remus, Peter, and James sitting around their large table. Lily took the seat beside Remus, who looked paler and sicker than the day before.
"Feeling alright, Remus?" Lily asked. She knew the full moon was approaching, but he didn't know she knew about his condition. Anyway something seemed a bit more off than usual.
"I am an absolute idiot," Remus said burying his head in his hands. James looked at her as if to say, 'we've been trying, you might as well give it a shot'
"Why's that?"
"Emmeline Vance kissed me," Remus said muffled by his hands.
"That's great!" Lily said. She knew her friend was practically in love with Remus.
"No it really isn't," Remus said. He sat up and his face was flushed with shame.
"Do you not like her?" Lily asked. She was almost sure that Remus liked Emmeline. He had seen the way he looked at Emmeline when she wasn't looking. And she told her friend of her suspicions.
"No, the issue is that I do," Remus said, he rubbed his temples as if it would make his problems disappear.
"Then what is wrong?" Lily asked patiently. Remus looked at his friends and then back to the ground.
"I pushed her off of me after she kissed me," Remus said embarassed, "I made a complete fool of myself and now she probably hates me."
"Remus, I am sure she doesn't hate you. I don't think anyone could. And why'd you push her off if you like her," Lily questioned.
"Because if I kissed her back then I'd have to date her and she'd only get disappointed. And I'd probably be absolutely horrid and she'd run away screaming. Besides I don't date," Remus said quickly.
"Have you ever tried dating?" Lily asked. She placed her hand over Remus', in a casual platonic kind of way, but she still saw James' face flash with betrayl.
"Well no," Remus said, "but that's because secrets have no place in a relationship and I have too many."
"If you really like her then I'm sure you can trust her. And you'll have to make up with her anyway. School begins tomorrow." Lily told him.
"I don't know. I'd be rubbish at dating and I'm telling you that in the end she'll run away from me," Remus said darkly.
"I won't push you, but you're a wonderful person and she knows that. Give her a chance," Lily said. Remus nodded. "What about you Peter? Any girls catch your eye last night?"
"I kissed Joanne Brocklehurst," Peter said, "She's a fourth year Hufflepuff."
"That's brilliant Peter!" James exclaimed. He seemed so excited for his friend, Lily couldn't help but smile.
"The thing is she's under the impression my name's Pierre," Peter said blushing furiously. Lily was waiting for James to burst out laughing but he didn't.
"Oh."
"What do I do now?" Peter asked, looking to his friends for help.
"Just correct her about it," Lily answered. "And if everything turns out alright, then ask her to Hogsmeade. She'll love it I promise."
"What if she says no?"
"Then she would be missing out on a great guy," Lily said sweetly, Peter blushed again and thanked her quietly.
"Lily, you've managed to give compliments and dating advice to all my other friends, where's mine?" James teased.
"You're managing just fine on your own as far as I can tell," Lily said motioning to the door. Melissa Bones stood there with a large smile. She ran over to James and practically sat on top of him.
"Hey Melissa," Lily warmly greeted the blond girl, "Wasn't aware you stayed the night." Lily saw James wince from the corner of her eyes.
"I wasn't aware you did either," Melissa said coldly. Lily was taken aback, she was trying to make conversation.
"Sorry, have I done something?" Lily asked. She didn't like to deal with drama, but she wasn't going to let it go unnoticed. She was very tired of the insinuations between her and James.
"'Could say that," Melissa muttered angrily.
"Then I suppose I should leave you and your boyfriend alone then, what d'you say?" Lily huffed.
"That'd be just lovely," Melissa told her. Lily stood up and walked out.
"Lily, wait!" she heard James' voice call out, but she was gone.
She walked into her room and collapsed onto her bed. But it wasn't her room or her bed. It was a bed in a room in James Potter's mansion. She was a guest and she didn't belong. Thoughts racing through her head. Stupid Melissa. Stupid James. Stupid Petunia. Stupid Death Eaters. She repeated in her had like a prayer. She heard the door creak open and Lily sighed.
"James, I'm fine really," Lily said with her head buried in her blanket.
"It's Remus," he said sitting down beside her. Lily sat up to see the tall boy's kind eyes staring down on her. Remus no longer looked quite as stressed as he had before, he seemed determined to make her feel better, shoving his own feelings aside.
"Oh good. I really am not in the mood to deal with him at the moment," Lily said. Remus nodded thoughtfully, he tugged on his jumper as he sat quietly beside her.
"Why's that?" Remus asked.
"You were out there, Remus. He's insufferable and Melissa is absolutely wretched," said Lily.
"I agree," Remus said.
"I thought you like her. Weren't you tutoring her last year?"
"Yeah but around James, she's awful. I'm telling you that she'll try and be with him every moment of every day. We'll never see him." Remus chuckled quietly.
"Would that honestly be the worst thing for you all to spend some time separate? I mean eventually he'll be married off and you won't see much of him anyway." Lily said with a shrug, but in her head she was desperately trying to get the mental picture of James getting married out of her head. She hated that she hated that thought so much. What was wrong with her?
"That's not true, because James'll be married to you and you love the Marauders," Remus said smiling. "You'd never turn us away."
"That's the thing. That right there," Lily groaned. She slammed her head into the pillow again.
"What did I say?" Remus planted a caring hand on her shoulder.
"It's just that since me and James became friends, everyone has kept badgering me to go out with him. I mean it was bad enough when he was the one badgering me, but now that he's stopped everyone else picked it up for him. And somehow this is worse," Lily explained, "Everyone says that we're perfect for each other and that it's fate, but they never take into account what I want."
"What do you want?"
"I don't know, it's all very confusing," Lily groaned again.
"I see," Remus said. How did he see? Lily herself didn't even fully understand her emotions.
"Do you think I should date him too?" her voice tired.
"Even if I wasn't Prongs friend I would say the same thing: yes I do believe you and him would be good for each other. But as your friend I think you need to do whatever you think is right. And if you find that you fancy him, then go for it. If not, then no worries," Remus told her. "James'll be there for you no matter what."
"Even besides that, just the fact that everyone thinks we both fancy each other is hard enough. Part of the reason my relationship with Edgar failed was because he was under the impression that I was using him to make James jealous. Edgar even told me this morning that no one believes they could measure up to James for me."
"And it doesn't help that James has suddenly become all sweet and compassionate. Everything is muddled and I adore his parents and I see how much he cares for all of you. It's just really hard, Remus. It's too hard," Lily spewed. She sat up and Remus pulled her into a long hug.
"You're one of the strongest people I know. You're probably right up there with Sirius, don't tell him I said that. And if anyone can stay true to themselves with everything that you have going on right now, it's you," Remus said. A lone tear sprang from Lily's eye.
"Thank you," she whispered and she hugged him again, not wanting to let go. "Promise me you'll patch things up with Emmeline."
"Lily-" Remus said unconvinced.
"No listen. You said I was strong, I can't even imagine being you. And I know for a fact that Emmeline would not judge you for a second if you chose to divulge to her about who you are. She is one of the most caring people I've met. Give her a chance," Lily pleaded. Remus stiffened in her arms, quickly pulling away from her.
"How did you- Do you know?" Remus questioned, his expression flickered from vunerablility to defenciveness and Lily felt so bad for the poor boy. Remus was the sweetest and he did nothing to deserve what he was dealt.
"Yeah, I know," Lily said softly. The werewolf was ridden with anxiety; terrified that someone might uncover his secret.
"And... and you don't hate me?" Remus sputtered.
"Of course not. You're my friend," she said touching his shoulder and feeling him flinch.
"But- but I'm a monster," Remus said, looking terrified.
"A monster? No, it's once a month that your condition affects you. You have no control then, so it isn't your fault. You're still just- well just Remus Lupin." His face softened for a moment, before it got extremely defencive.
"Who told you? James?" Remus clenched his jaw, waiting anxiously. He played with his fingers, gripping them tightly.
"No, God no. I figured it out on my own. Well with the help of James' diary," Lily said with a smile. A smile flickered on his lips, but not enough to replace the fear there.
"And so you know... about them too," Remus said questionly. He looked like he was holding his breath, half-hoping that none of it was real.
"Yes, well I know what they are, but not the specifics," Lily said hoping to sound calm. She wanted to come off as trustworthy and approachable. She didn't want him feeling scared that she knows or worse yet that she is scared of him.
"And you're alright with it all?" Remus said releasing a deep breath.
"No, well I've come to terms with it all," Lily said, "but it's so illegal, I mean I get their reasoning and all. But they could get in so much trouble." Remus snorted bringing a real smile.
"Good to know you haven't changed," Remus teased.
"Hey!" Lily kidded. After a moment of laughter she asked, "What are they, like what animal?" Remus gulped, filled with unease. Obviously the whole topic wasn't an easy one and trust was a difficult thing for him to have for someone.
"Well, Padfoot's a dog. Wormtail a rat. And Prongs is a stag," Remus said, obviously unused to spilling his secrets.
"I'm an idiot."
"What?" Remus said uneasily. She could tell that he had thought she'd changed her mind about her opinion on them.
"How did I not see how the nicknames correlated. I'm stupid. I mean I understood yours, but I still can't believe I didn't see it. And the book even had notes written in the side with some animals," Lily said feeling dumb.
"You're not stupid, you figured it out didn't you?" Remus said, his voice heavy with unease. She was amazed that he was still trying to comfort her and compliment her when she had just been the source of so much anxiety and fear for him. Not that she meant to terrify him like that, of course, but she could see the way fear clenched at his heart.
"Yeah I suppose, but just so you know I'll never tell anyone. I'd never put you or the others in danger like that. I swear," Lily said. She desperately hoped that he'd see that she truly didn't think any less of him.
"Solemnly," Remus said, failing to keep a straight face. Lily was taken aback.
"What?"
"Say I solemnly swear," he said again, his smile growing. She had no idea what he was going on about.
"I solemnly swear," Lily said, not getting the joke. "I don't understand."
"It's another Marauder secret. We'll be telling you soon enough, I suppose," Remus said.
"Is it bad I found out?"
"Well nothing will happen it's just Rule 16."
"And what's that?" Lily asked.
"Guard a Marauder's secret with your life. But I techniquely didn't break it because you figured it out on you own," Remus said.
"One day soon you all have to show me your rulebook. And the other secrets," Lily said, "I've figured out the biggest one right?"
"So you want to become a Marauder?" Remus said grinning.
"If that's what it takes," Lily shrugged. She couldn't imagine herself responding the same way a year earlier.
"It's rigorous, I must warn you. Constant pranking, mischief, and mayhem at every possible moment. There's hardly a resting moment, besides detention, that is," Remus joked.
"The whole lot of you are ridiculous." Lily shook her head.
"That's what you love about us," Remus said.
"Good God," Lily said smiling too. "You know, you're pretty good at the whole cheering people up thing."
"Well we've to stick together don't we?" Remus told her.
"Yeah, the Mudblood and the Halfbreed," Lily said, her smile dipping a bit.
"Otherwise known as Red and Moony," Remus amended. Lily smile grew brighter, even though she hated the nickname Sirius had adopted her, she didn't mind so much when Remus said it like that.
"I like that one better."
"Me too."
~James~ Back to School
"Ready everyone?" James' mother asked. Sirius, Remus, Marlene, Lily, and him all nodded. Lily had been distant since yesterday morning and James didn't like it. How was it his fault that Melissa was a prick to Lily? Obviously she was jealous of Lily, but what girl in Hogwarts wasn't? He tried talking to her, and it isn't like she ignored him, it's just her responses were short and basic. It wasn't the lively Lily Evans that he was used to. In the past when she was mad at him they would get into huge blowout arguments, usually ending in hexes and jinxes. But this was different and somehow worse. It seemed that for both Lily and James, their temper was quick to ignite but just as quick to leave. So he was worried. Should he ditch Melissa? No, she was a nice girl and James didn't want to squash her hopes after leading her on. James sighed and took Floo Powder from his mother's hand.
"Diagon Alley!" James said, throwing it into the fire. James coughed and brushed the soot from his clothes. He waited for his friends and parents to come through the fireplace. James walked out of the shop and looked at the usually vibrant street looking strangely dull. A mist clouded the air and several shops were boarded up. Gone was the bustling cobblestone lined street, now it was deserted. The paint was chipped on the shop fronts and a cool breeze blew bits of trash around. It all felt wrong, the place of wonder and magic was degraded to an empty street.
"Bloody hell," Sirius said, stopping next to James. Somehow the scene became even greyer and less pleasant.
"Woah, what happened here?" Remus said, joining the two boys. James stood with his shoulders slumped, he hated seeing Diagon Alley this way. He remembered his first time getting school supplies here. He ran from shop to shop with such excitement, he couldn't wait to get there and learn magic. But now the wonder-inducing sights and smells were gone.
"Dunno," James replied flatly. But that was a lie, he knew exactly what was happening. The inevitable war had begun. James along with everyone else in the wizarding world knew that a war was bound to erupt soon enough, with Voldemort gaining traction. But James hated seeing the actual affect the war was having on the places he loved. It was crumbling and changing so much from when he saw it back in September. Marlene and Lily exited the empty shop and James heard them gasp. He turned to see Lily with a hand covering her mouth, her red hair falling out of her messy braid was probably the only bright colour left here. It stood out against the dull and mist covered surroundings.
"We should go," Euphemia Potter said as her and her husband exited the shop. "No use in staying here." The group began to walk to the Leaky Cauldron. James half-expected the pub to be abandoned like the rest of the street, given the outside, but within the shop there were people. Granted the people looked as distrurbed and saddened as James felt, but they were still there. James could've really used a drink, but it seemed inappropriate given the somber mood and the time.
"Yeah, let's go," James said slightly irritated. He watched Remus put a comforting arm around Lily who willingly melted into it. James huffed and pushed through the door to Muggle London. His friends and family followed him but James didn't wait for them. He didn't see Sirius try to catch up to him only to be stopped by Marlene who said that she got it. Marlene sped up to him and tapped his shoulder.
"What?" he growled, harsher than he intended. He had been picturing Remus and Lily getting married, and how pretty and overjoyed Lily looked. He was remembering how Lily used to fancy Remus and how maybe she never stopped fancying him.
"Sorry," he said gentler.
"S'alright, but James you've gotta get over it," Marlene said.
"You mean Lily? I did, I'm with Melissa now," James told her.
"Right, Melissa. I forgot. So you aren't mad that Remus has his arm around Lily?" Marlene asked amused, making James scowl harder.
"Nope," James lied. Yes, he thought, I am mad.
"Oh good, because they are purely platonic. He was actually the one who comforted her when you were too busy being a prat with Melissa. He convinced her to keep being your friend actually. And it really isn't helping that you're being a prat right now," Marlene said casually.
"I can't help it. Whenever I see a bloke hitting on her or dating her I just get jealous. No, it's more than jealousy. It's like a hatred, and for a few moments I lose myself. Why is it so hard to be just her friend?" James asked, running his fingers through his hair. Everything was hard when it came to Lily Evans.
"For now you'll have to deal with your relationship only being a friendship. I hope she will come around, but in the meantime, don't you think it isn't fair of you to date Melissa?" Marlene said. James hoped that if Lily's best friend thought there was hope for him and Lily, then he might have a chance.
"How is that not fair? For all I know Lily and I will only ever be friends. It's not like I just will never date anyone else. If anything I'm being fair to me and Melissa has been chasing me for years now. So I doubt she's unhappy about it," James told her harshly again.
"Whatever James. Just don't say I didn't warn you," Marlene said before leaving to join Sirius. James wondered what that meant, Marlene seemed to be hinting that his relationship would cost him in the end. But James wouldn't give Marlene the satisfaction of her being right, so James decided he'd date Melissa for awhile.
"Hurry up kids," his mother warned. She was checking her watch and sighing. They cut it close every single year, but always made it. Everyone rushed inside the train station, then to Platform 9 and 3/4. James pushed his trolley and ran through the border. He always wondered how Muggles weren't able to see them. He figured it was a strong Disillusionment Charm, but it would have to be very advanced.
"Goodbye James," Mrs. Potter said, she threw her arms around her only child. James hugged her back, holding his mother in his arms. He knew other kids might be embarrassed by their mother hugging them in public, but not James. He loved his parents so much because for awhile they were all he had. He didn't have siblings to laugh and play with, just his elderly parents. I mean when he was younger he tried to enlist the House-elves to play with him, but they didn't like it very much so James stopped. He had friends, but they were more his parent's friend's children not his.
"'Bye mum," James whispered in her ear. James released the hug and went to his dad, "See you soon." Euphemia Potter hugged Sirius and said, "You're my son too. Don't forget it."
"Thanks Mum," Sirius replied when they broke apart.
"Try to stay out of trouble. The disciplinary letters from McGonagall have stacked up," his father said with a light chuckle. James felt his spirits lift at his father's laugh. It had been awhile since his dad got over his sickness, but James always half expected his father to fall back into it.
"I can't make any promises," James joked. He stepped back and waved before returning to his friends.
"Ready?" he asked, feeling better than he had before. His friends nodded but Mrs. Potter jumped forward with open arms. Her arms enveloped Lily and she said, "You are an amazing young witch, Lily. You are welcome back anytime." Lily hugged her back as ferociously. James was ecstatic that his mother liked Lily as much as she did. They broke their hug and Lily smiled gratefully at Mrs. Potter. That was when his mum started to tear up and his dad put an arm around her. He motioned for James and his friends to go and they did. When they boarded the train, James looked out the window to see his mother running alongside the train, waving and shouting goodbyes. James' heart swelled as he waved back. When the platform was out of view he sat back down to look at his friends who gave him a weird look. He only shrugged and struck a conversation about their favourite sweets.
"You really like Bertie Botts?" Sirius said with disgust evident.
"Yeah," Peter said unsure.
"Bloody hell, Wormy. Half the flavors are bollocks!" Sirius said outraged. He turned to his new girlfriend and asked, "What d'you think Marls?"
"I'm with Peter. Besides half the fun is seeing if you'll get a good flavor or not," Marlene said defiantly.
"Merlin's beard. What about you Red?" Sirius badgered. James knew Sirius wouldn't stop until he convinced everyone that he was right and James suddenly regretted bringing up sweets in the first place.
"Er- I never cared for Bertie Botts, but I never tried much of them-" Lily said, only to be interrupted by Sirius' triumphant shouts.
"See! And it was smart of you not to try them. They are disgusting," Sirius said loudly.
"He's just mad, because once his house-elf sent him only the bad flavors for Christmas," James whispered loudly to the group.
"That only proves my point. What sane man would make a sweet with bad flavors! On purpose no less!" Sirius cried.
"Well this has been illuminating, truly, but we have a meeting to attend," Lily said standing up. Remus stood up beside her and offered her an arm, which she accepted with gratitude. James felt his heart sink even lower.
"I should probably go find Melissa. Mind if I walk with you?" James said standing up too. He watched Lily's face contorts for a moment then return to usual. Was she really that disgusted that he would walk beside them? Maybe she just wanted some alone time for snogging Remus, James thought.
"Yeah, sure mate," Remus said. He looked even worse as the full moon got even closer. James had no idea how Remus found the strength every month. He suddenly felt guilty for resenting Remus. They are just friends. Just friends. And Remus liked Emmeline anyways.
"Cool," James said opening the compartment door. "Lily, d'you know where she usually sits?"
"No," she replied slightly irritated, "I don't keep tabs on your girlfriend."
"Just asking. Figured you might since you used to date her brother," James said innocently.
"Oh, well I don't," Lily said. James walked behind them in silence. He would've completely missed Melissa altogether but she had spotted him.
"James! James, over here," Melissa shouted and James caught himself groaning.
"I'll see you guys later," James said quietly.
"Bye, Prongs," Remus said before Lily pulled him along. And James found himself pulled into a compartment filled with Hufflepuff girls. And Melissa kissed him.
"Uh... I just wanted to say hi before we got to school," James said awkwardly. He shoved his hands in his pockets, eyeing her friends who stared at him swooningly. He wasn't comfortable with the girls staring at him like that.
"Aw..." a girl said, clasping her hands together.
"So how was your holiday?" James asked stupidly, because he saw her yesterday.
"Good. Your party was probably the highlight," she responded. She was looking at him like she wanted to snog him, but he really wasn't in the mood. They spoke for a few minutes before James reached his point of boredom.
"Well I think I'm gonna head back to my compartment now, so I'll see you around," James said scratching his chin. He turned around and exiting the compartment, giving Melissa a half-hearted smile as he walked away.
He stepped back into the compartment which now had Sirius, Marlene, Mary, Peter, Emmeline, and Dorcas inside. He pushed the door open to the crowded compartment and squeezed into a seat.
"Did you find her Prongs?" Sirius asked. James nodded and ran a hand through his hair.
"Yeah. It was awkward and uncomfortable," he said, "Her friends crowded us and stared. I'm not even sure I like her very much."
"Do you like her more than Patricia?" Sirius said raising his eyebrows up and down. James laughed, referencing their old friend and James' old girlfriend. She had been a mentor in mischief for the Marauders. She helped them with their pranks and she was very pretty. After she graduated she became a Curse-Breaker. How cool is that?
"Definitely like Patricia better," James said picturing her red hair.
"You don't mean Patricia Rakepick, do you?" Dorcas asked.
"Also known as James' first girlfriend," Sirius said grinning.
"No way!" Emmeline and Dorcas chorused. "But she was like four years older than us."
"She was like our mentor during the years we shared at Hogwarts, but third year I grew up. I got taller and well all that," James said.
"Oh we remember," Mary giggled.
"And we went out for a bit. Nothing serious. Just a bit of fun, I suppose," James continued.
"Wait, if you and Patricia were casual and you like her better than your current 'serious' girlfriend, then why are you still with Melissa?" Emmeline asked thoughtfully.
"Does everyone really need to ask me that, bloody hell," James said angrily. He was smiling a moment ago, but that faded once she brought up Melissa again.
"Sorry James," Emmeline muttered guiltily.
"No, I need to ask you all something," James said standing up, his back turned from the door, "Why are you so insistent that I keep pursuing Lily? I've tried that for a year and it hasn't worked out. And besides, I promised her I'd stop asking her out. We are now friends and that's all we'll ever be." He was so furious that he didn't hear the door slide open behind him, a meek Lily Evans staring at the back of his head as he told their friends that they'd only ever be friends.
"Hey Lily," Emmeline said, her voice faltering when she saw Remus. Her face twisted up and she went silent, he watched Remus gulp.
"Um, Emmeline. D'you think we could talk?" Remus said nervously.
"I really would prefer not to be alone with you Lupin," her voice was cold and hard.
"Ouch," Sirius said under his breath, earning him an elbow to the ribs from Marlene.
"If you have anything to say to me you can say it here," Emmeline said not wavering.
"Oh, alright then. I'm sorry about what happened at the party. It's just- I have never really- Well I just figured that you'd be disgusted or something, so I pulled away. I didn't want to overstep or embarrass myself," he explained nervously.
"Embarrass yourself!? I'd be disgusted!? That's very rich coming from the one who pushed me away. Did you ever think that I'd be embarrassed? Or that I'd think that you were disgusted and revolted with me?" Emmeline said her voice no longer cold, just angry. The type of anger that threatens tears, but she reigned her emotions in as she waited for his response.
"I'm sorry Emmeline. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just hard for me. I'm not really supposed to do that sort of thing," Remus said.
"You aren't allowed to kiss a girl you like? That is if you like me at all," Emmeline shouted, making Remus wince. The rest of the group watched the conversation like a Quidditch match.
"I do like you," Remus said quietly.
"Well I reckon that just fixes everything now, doesn't it?" Emmeline said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"I'm sorry."
"That's a weak arse apology, Lupin. If you really like me then you'd try a little harder, rather than defending your actions," Emmeline said. Remus grabbed her hands, startling her a bit.
"Look, Em. I like you. I like you a lot and I know I'm rubbish at showing it. And sometimes I'm a selfish bastard, but I want to make it up to you," Remus said, his confidence wavering, "Will you come to Hogsmeade with me?" For a painstaking few seconds, Emmeline didn't respond and it didn't appear that her response would be good.
"I'll go with you if Lily goes with James," Emmeline said smirking. James knew she liked Remus, despite what he did. So either way she wouldn't lose out. But as much as James hated everyone continually trying to push them together, he still loved Lily. He'd drop Melissa in a heartbeat for Lily, but he knew that Lily didn't feel the same. And he wasn't going to continue to fawn over her if it made her uncomfortable, so he'd have to be content with just friends. But James definitely couldn't not hear Lily's response, he still had a sliver of hope in his heart. All heads turned to face Lily, who had a struggle playing out on her face.
"I'll do it. It is not like we haven't gone together before," Lily said. Everyone smiled, breaking the tension, "What can I say, I'm a sucker for romance."
"Just not when it comes to you and I," James joked.
"Of course not. Now is this like a double date or do you guys want your alone time?" Lily asked.
"Aha! You consider it a date," James shouted celebratorily, "Lily Evans is going on a date with me!"
"Not if you keep acting like a prat," Lily scowled, but it couldn't completely hide the twitches on the corners of her lips.
"Sorry, love."
"No flirting, Potter," Lily sighed.
"What's got you so mad? James wondered.
"You and your girlfriend have been nothing but gits to me. Now I'm being goaded into spending another day in Hogsmeade with you. And you never apologised and proceeded to ignore me," Lily scowled.
"I ignored you!? You wouldn't say more than 3 words to me," James shouted. He saw Lily open her mouth and he knew he couldn't win, "Look Lily, I'm sorry. I should've made her apologise or broken up with her. I'm sorry for flirting with you also. It was just a laugh and I didn't realize you'd be so upset."
"That was rather mature of you," Lily said thoughtfully, "I'm just tired of everyone trying to push us together that's all. I just get frustrated and I didn't mean to take it out on you. Especially when you've been so kind to me. So I'm sorry too."
"That I can agree with," James said, shooting his friends a pointed look. He stuck his hand out to Lily, offering to shake hands.
"Friends?" James asked. Lily shook his hand and smiled.
"Forever," she said sweetly.
"How touching, Red," Sirius said smirking. Lily dropped his hand.
"Shove off Sirius," Lily said.
"Prongs. We need to talk about something, with just the Marauders," Remus said.
"Alright girls, leave us blokes alone now," Sirius shooed. They filed out giving the guys some confused looks. When Lily was about to exit, Remus spoke again, "Er Lily. We need you too." Now James was confused. He figured it was about a prank, but Lily would have no part of that.
"What's going on, Moony?" James asked. He wasn't sure he liked where the conversation was heading, Remus seemed nervous.
"Well over the holiday, Lily- well she came to me-" Remus said uncomfortable.
"I know," Lily interrupted, "About your secrets. Well most of them, I think."
"What d'you mean 'you know'?" Sirius growled. "Who told her? Prongs?" He raised his hands in defence.
"I didn't say a word. I'd never betray Moony," James said.
"Is that a dig at me, huh?" Sirius said darkly.
"Of course not, Padfoot. We forgave you. Moony forgave you. You're the one accusing people here," James said. He couldn't handle Sirius rehashing their fight from fourth year. He would never excuse Sirius' actions that day, but he did forgive him.
"Yeah because the girl you'd do anything for, suddenly knows about our biggest secret," Sirius shouted, "And I'm sorry but it's hard to forget the only people who you've ever considered family, abandoning you."
"Don't try and make us feel guilty. You were in the wrong two years ago and you're still in the wrong today. But we forgave you and we are your family. Rule 5 remember," Remus told him in a threatening tone.
"I know," Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, picking up James' nervous trait, "And I'll never stop being sorry about it. I just don't want the secret to be in danger again."
"None of us do and it appears only Lily and Remus know what's going on, so let's let them tell us," James said motioning for Lily to speak.
"I've known about the lycanthropy for awhile. Sev- I mean Snape always had a theory about it. Of course I never believed it. No offence, but I never thought Dumbledore would do that. And then last year after I read your diary I went to the library, trying to put it together. And I told you I would. And Madam Pince made a comment on how 5th years don't study werewolves, and it all came together. I mean, you all call him Moony for God's sake. And before I figured that out I went to Snape about the potion recipes I saw. I didn't recognise them, but I figured that he would and he did. I didn't know about what form you took, but I should've connected it with your nicknames. This all happened at the end of last year. And then yesterday I comforted Remus about Emmeline and I mentioned how she wouldn't judge him about it," Lily explained. Lily looked at the boys, as if she was ready for them all to start fighting again. It seemed like that was all everyone was doing today.
"Plenty of people would judge him about it," James said calmly.
"But not the people who know him. Lycanthropy is just a condition, and he only changes once a month. It doesn't seem fair that he should be discriminated over one day a month," Lily said. He adored how she was sticking up for Remus. He could feel himself falling deeper and deeper for her.
"It isn't fair and some people's parents would have an absolute fit if they found out. So ever since we found out, we've done the best we could to keep it a secret," James told her.
"And I solemnly swear that I won't tell a soul," Lily said, smiling hopefully. James' jaw dropped. How did she know?
"You figured that out too!?" Peter exclaimed. He had been especially quiet this train ride. James figured that all the girls here made him a bit nervous.
"Well, no. I'm afraid I'm not sure what it's about, but Remus had brought it up and it made him smile. So I figured that you lot could use a smile," Lily said grinning at their shocked faces.
"I didn't say a word about the map, but I figured we ought to tell her everything now. She's basically a Marauder herself," Remus said shrugging. James watched Lily smile. He could tell that she loved to be included, even in a group that revolves around a lot of illegal things.
"I don't see why not?" James said, Lily's smile grew even further.
"I think she should too," Peter piped up, trying to please James. James turned to Sirius who was quiet.
"What do you say, Sirius?" James said grinning.
"Fine," Sirius said grudgingly, "but she will be an honourary Marauder only."
"What's the difference?"
"You don't become an Animagi or get your nickname added to the map," Sirius insisted.
"I have a nickname?" Lily said, raising her eyebrows.
"Every Marauder needs one. It's Rule 19," James said.
"Should I be scared?" Lily teased.
"It'll be good, Red," Sirius said.
"It better be better than Red," Lily retorted.
"Least it'll be better than Wormtail. Anything's better than Wormtail," Peter said dryly. Everyone laughed.
"The whole school didn't know what to think when you lot came back with these crazy nicknames at the start of 5th year. I thought they were pretty odd myself," Lily informed them.
"Hate to say it, but you are officially part of 'this lot' now. So be prepared for some illicit activities and miscellaneous secrets," Remus said grinning. He no longer looked nervous, now that everyone was cool with Lily knowing their secret. James figured that it was Remus' secret to tell anyway, so as long as he was cool with it it was fine.
"What have I got myself into," Lily joked, "But in all seriousness, when do I learn these supposed secrets?"
"All in due time. Now we should go get our robes on. We're almost at school," Remus said looking out the window. James looked out the window himself and it looked like it had the entire trip. He couldn't tell how Remus could tell the difference, but he trusted him nonetheless.