trigger warning: some descriptions of blood in second and third scene

"I know about your feelings for Hiccup" Astrid mentioned casually as she and Cami breezed through the woods of a new island.

Everything had improved rapidly since that girls day. The mission where Astrid and Ruffnut had teamed was a big success. The past two weeks everything was going smoothly. Astrid was becoming better friends with everyone. She was helping Ruffnut find her own person outside of Tuffnut. But most importantly, her friendship with Cami was better than it had ever been.

Today they were exploring an island at Fishegs' request. They were all happy to come along. And it Astrid and Cami a chance to talk again.

"I figured you did" Camicazi admitted with rose tinted cheeks, though whether it was from the crush or her own embarrassment Astrid wasn't sure "Am I thought obvious?"

She bit her lip, choosing her next words carefully "To me, yes. But I am a girl. We kind of have a sixth sense about this stuff"

"That we do" her friend laughed with her "If only guys had it to"

"Some guys might, just not Hiccup"

"I swear everybody knows I'm in love with Hiccup except for Hiccup"

It stung to hear those words. It almost acted as a reminder that there were much better people out there, all of whom were more deserving of Hiccup than she would ever be. Furthermore, hearing Camicazi express such depth in her emotions only made her feel more guilty. Somehow, she felt as though having her own feelings was wrong when others felt the same ones at a stronger level. As if hers were now inferior.

"I knew you had a crush on him, I didn't you were in love with him"

"It's hard for it not be love. I've known him my entire life, I guess it's something that's just developed naturally"

Astrid contemplated her words before asking curiously "When did you know that you liked him?"

"I don't think there was one particular moment" she answered instantaneously "It was more like small moments over time that made the feeling grow and then one day when I was twelve, I just looked at him and knew that that nervous feeling in my stomach when I saw him had to be a crush"

"Really? You knew as young as twelve?" Her tone wasn't judgemental, but it held a note of disbelief in it.

"I suppose it did take a bit more time afterwards to confirm, but more or less yeah"

"And when did you know that you were in love with him?"

After a pause, Cami spoke again "When we were fourteen. My axe had gone missing and I went absolutely crazy trying to find. I was interrogating everyone who walked past me trying to figure out who knew what happened to it. Then finally after the day was over and I still found it I went to my guest hut and found it on my bed. It had a bow and a note from Hiccup with it explaining that he had noticed that the axe was in need of sharpening and that he wanted to surprise me. It was so sweet, and the fact that he did before I asked him to kind of sealed the deal''

"That was really nice of him" Astrid contemplated.

"I think that's what's so frustrating about all of this, I loved him before Toothless, before all the fame and the glory and the attention, I was there and he didn't notice. At least, not in the way that I wanted him to"

Vaguely, Astrid pondered what her own treatment of Hiccup would have been like, had she grown up on Berk. Though she wanted desperately to believe that she would have been kind and friendly with him like she was now, but she wasn't so sure. Friendly wasn't exactly the first word she would apply to her younger self. In truth, no matter how much she hated to admit it, she probably would have treated him just like all the other kids did back then. Maybe not to the same extent as the others, but she knew that had she been around, she would have ignored him too. That thought made Astrid angry with herself for being so shallow, even if it was an alternate version of herself.

"Why did you never say anything to him?"

"I couldn't risk the rejection. If he didn't feel the same way our entire friendship would be ruined. We're best friends, it would get all awkward between us. That can't happen if you're on a team. Working together is key. Besides, if things got messed up between us; it wouldn't just be us, it would be the whole team. The dynamics would shift completely. I may be a risk taker, but I still need to be sensible" she explained "Plus, I think he may have feelings for someone else now"

Even though she caught the amusement in her friend's gaze, the comment still made Astrid nervous. She couldn't help it, the feeling came to her like an instinct.

"Relax Astrid" Cami laughed airily, catching on to the fellow teen's tense structure "I'm not mad, honestly. I mean, the idea of him having feelings for you doesn't exactly make me happy, but I can't blame you for what Hiccup feels. And I also can't blame Hiccup for not having those feelings for me"

"I don't think he has feelings for me" Astrid followed her words in a fast manner.

"Oh come on, we all see it" Cami teased uncharacteristically, though her discomfort could still be sensed "It's pretty obvious"

"He's nice to me. That's all. That doesn't mean he has feelings for me" Astrid denied.

"It's more than just nice" she said with a knowing glance in her direction.

"How is it more than just nice? He treats me the exact same way he treats you or Heather"

"Except he doesn't almost kiss me or Heather"

"We didn't nearly kiss!" She exclaimed.

"I say once more, we all saw it. On Melody Island" Camicazi said with finality, as if she were winning an argument.

"Okay, we weren't about to kiss! For the last time, we were joking around and fell over!"

"Then why are you blushing?"

She was actually blushing because she was thinking of the moment all those nights ago on the island in the moonlight. When their dragons had interrupted what may have amounted to a moment. But, of course, she would never say that aloud.

"I'm blushing because I'm overwhelmed! I'm not used to being questioned about romance!" That wasn't technically a lie, which made Astrid feel slightly better.

"I'm not sure I believe you" she teased with a slightly unnatural sing-song voice

"Believe what you want, but I'm being honest, we were not about to kiss!" Astrid exclaimed, internally denying her possible deceit.

"If that's the story you're telling, then fine" Cami half-smirked at her "But seriously, I do have a question for you?"

"What is it?"

"Do you have any feelings for Hiccup?"

Astrid bit her lip again, contemplating all of the possible answers. She appreciated how Camicazi was trying to take a playful stance on the subject, but she could still see through the act. It was hard for her to talk about, understandably. The both of them disliked having to talk about this, yet somehow, each word felt necessary. This had been an unspoken point of tension between the two for a while, admittedly more on Cami's side than her own, but it was still there. Getting these words out in the open would be a good thing for them, she knew it.

"I'm not sure" she lied "Maybe"

Of course she had feelings for Hiccup. She'd known that for a while now. But admitting to it would be pointless. Her plan at the edge did not entail acting on her feelings for a long time, if ever at all. Camicazi deserved her shot with Hiccup. That was all that mattered.

"Even if I did, I wouldn't do anything about it" she said truthfully.

"Really? Why not?" Cami asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There are lots of reasons that I won't go into right now, but there is a main one. And that is that I believe you and Hiccup could be really happy together. You make sense together, I would never want to get in the way of that"

"Thank you, I appreciate that" Camicazi told her gratefully

"I must admit, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I'm surprised at how casual you're being about all of this"

"We both know that this used to make me really angry, no point in hiding that. But if we're really going to be friends, it's better to talk about this stuff" she pursed her lips together "Oh, and Astrid?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry"

"Huh?" She asked in confusion.

"For not being able to encourage your feelings for Hiccup. As your friend I should be able to but… I've liked Hiccup for so long now, it's weird to think of him with anyone else. That's why I'm happy that you want to keep your feelings quiet" she cringed at herself "Gods, that sounds awful"

"No, it doesn't" Astrid reassured "I get what you're saying. And besides, you shouldn't be sorry for my decisions. I'm the one who isn't talking about it, you're not forcing me to keep quiet"

"I guess" she shrugged "Maybe we should drop this and just say that either way, Hiccup's oblivious"

"Couldn't agree more" she flashed a small smile before a silver glint in the corner of her eye caught her attention "Wait one second" she told the other dragon rider as she drove behind some bushes.

Then she saw it. Or, them to be more specific. The hunters. They were all on the island.

"Oh gods" Camicazi whispered from behind her "Is that-"

"Yup" Astrid interrupted "Looks like more people know about this island than Fishoegs thought"

"What do you think we should do?"

She beckoned over their two dragons who had been playing together in the background "Star, mirror scales now" she instructed.

As her dragon became invisible before her eyes, she turned to Cami "You need to take them to Hiccup and the others and warn them. We need to leave right now, before they see me or Starlight"

"What will you be doing?"

"Keeping an eye on them, only for a few seconds, I'll be with you guys soon"

"Wait, but you just said that we need so that they don't see you. Isn't it risky for you to stay?"

"Maybe. But I want to hear their plans, that's all. It'll help plan missions for the future"

"Why isn't Starlight staying with you?"

"I can't risk it. If there's even the slightest chance that they might find her, then she needs to get out of here. Don't worry, I trust you to protect her. She does too"

"But what if they see you?"

"I can deal with that. It's more important that we know the plans. Now you take the dragons and go to the riders. I promise, I won't be long"

Cami hesitated "Alright fine. But be careful"

The two shared a look before Cami went away with the dragons. Astrid observed the group of hunters carefully. They were huddled together, but she still had a clear vantage point of some of their faces. She could see Viggo's face. It automatically brought up fear inside of her, but she pushed it down. She heard whispers of looking everywhere they could and her panic levels naturally rose. The riders needed to go. She needed to tell them right now.

But before she even got the chance she felt a grip on her wrist and she was yanked away.

xxxx

"Dagur?!" She whisper-shouted as he released her wrist, all but throwing her against a tree.

"Long time no see Astrid" he grinned wickedly.

"What are you doing here?!"

"I could ask you the same thing" he replied with ease "Nobody's heard from, let alone seen you since you left"

"Right, I forgot that I was supposed to send you guys weekly updates about where I am and what I'm doing since escaping" she dead panned.

"Well you clearly haven't lost your sarcasm" he commented with a glare.

'It's probably grown because of Hiccup' she thought to herself.

"You've started a sort of movement you know. Now everybody is leaving the hunters"

"You say that as if it's a bad thing"

His glare sharpened significantly. She almost felt the need to shrink under his gaze. Almost.

"I'm not the first person to leave the hunters" she continued "Others have left before me"

"But more have been leaving after you. We've lost around fifteen men in the last month alone!"

"And how is that my fault?" Astrid retaliated lightly "I didn't force anyone to leave after I did. That was their decision"

"But they only made that decision because you put it in their heads that they could restart their lives and be better people, like idiots" the fiery young man scoffed.

"Good for them! If that's how they feel, they should be given that opportunity. Why should they be blamed for wanting better lives?"

"They had perfectly good lives with us"

"Perfectly good isn't always good enough" she countered.

"You would know that better than anyone," he muttered.

"My life with the hunters wasn't 'perfectly good'. It was a nightmare. Nightmares aren't 'perfectly good' to anyone"

"Viggo and Ryker are furious. Well okay, Ryker more than Viggo but he's still not exactly happy"

"Naturally"

"They want you to come back"

Whatever quick-witted response Astrid had planned died in her throat when she heard those words "What?"

"They want you back with the hunters"

"I'm not going back to them" Astrid stated firmly, "How do you know that anyway?"

"I overheard them talking about it" he told her "Viggo practically expects you to come back"

"I suppose he'll be disappointed then"

"I'm not so sure he will be"

"I already told you, I'm not-"

"Coming back, yeah yeah" Dagur said dismissively "You'll be back eventually. When you realize how much you need us"

Astrid's eyes flared "I do not need you!"

"Keep your voice down!" He exclaimed quietly "But you may not need us now but you will. One day you'll be alone with nobody and nowhere to go, and who will be there to take you back? The hunters"

"That will never happen"

"Sure it will. Once the people around you realize what a bad person you are"

His words froze her, striking a nerve deep within. How could he say that? What right did he have? Dagur didn't know her, not really. It was not his place to make any judgements on her.

"How dare you?!" Astrid seethed.

He put up his hands in defence "Don't blame me. Just telling you the truth. Face it, healing a few dragons doesn't make you a good person"

"Healing and feeding dragons that have been severely injured and malnourished isn't a good thing?"

"Oh I'm sure it's a good thing to some people, still doesn't make you a good person"

She scoffed "Well that's fine because I don't do it for the sake of being a good person. I do it because it's a nice thing to do and it's helpful"

"You also do it out of guilt"

"Why would I do it out of guilt?" She felt her shoulders tense up.

"You think it'll make up for the tons of dragons you've hurt in the past. Don't even try to deny it, I've heard the stories"

It was true. In her past she had injured a lot dragons. She could never find it in herself to kill them, but she could hurt them shamelessly. It was how she grew up. In some sense, maybe that's part of the reason Viggo and Ryker had felt the betrayal so deeply. Before meeting Starlight, she'd shown great promise as a hunter and she knew it. They picked on her, but they were impressed with her. That person felt like a stranger to her now.

"I'm not the only person to hurt a dragon. You and the other hunters-"

"In case you've forgotten blondie, we're hunters" he laughed in her face cruelly "We're not pretending to be good guys"

"I am not pretending!" She insisted.

"Sure you're not" Dagur said cynically "A good person would totally join the enemies of the people that raised them"

Astrid's mouth was nearly agape. She had to contain herself. She would not show Dagur her emotions, he would just exploit it.

"Yeah, I saw blondie number 2 run off before I grabbed ya"

She kept a steely gaze, internal terror being masked expertly "Yes, I am with the riders. They have a good cause."

"They're the enemy''

"They're Viggo and Ryker's enemy" she corrected with a glare "And so what if I am with them? What are you gonna do, tell Viggo and Ryker where I am?"

"No" he grunted with a voice on the cusp of frustration "Heather's with you and the others. I will protect my sister"

"Well that's actually nice of you"

"You need to get Heather out of here before anyone spots her!" Dagur told her, a new tone of panic seeping in.

"Another nice thing, that's two in a row, that might be a record"

"You know Heather never actually hurt a dragon when she was here" he glared at her

"Heather's never hurt a dragon" Astrid said cautiously, feeling like the man's comment had been a bit sudden..

"My point exactly. She hasn't injured any dragons, you have" he pointed an accusatory finger at her "You have dragon blood on your hands"

Astrid nearly stumbled back in pure shock. She'd never thought about it like that. Of course she'd carried guilt inside of her to do with her past actions, but never in such a graphic way. Dagur's harsh words had gone to her mind quickly, making themselves comfortable and rapidly causing Astrid more and more discomfort.

Was she a bad person? Were all her past sins always going to haunt her? Was she just kidding herself with this whole escape plan?

No matter. She didn't have time to think about, her main priority was getting everyone else off of the island. Luckily (and maybe even unluckily), the island wasn't very big. It meant she could find them quite easily, but then again, so could the hunters.

"We need to leave now!" She said, allowing her voice to be as loud as possible without the hunters hearing "The hunters are here!"

"We're all ready to leave" Camicazi told her as she walked over, sensing her friend's trouble "Hey, you okay?"

"I'm fine" she answered quickly.

Heather, worried, took in Astrid's figure and her concern grew immensely "You're shaking"

"Wait, what?" Hiccup joined in, anxiety lacing his voice too.

Astrid looked down at her hands and realized she was, in fact, shaking. But something else was wrong.

Her hands were red.

All the air was sucked out of her lungs as she stared in horror at the deep shade of crimson coating her skin. Her chest tightened and breathing suddenly felt like it was the hardest thing in the world. It appeared slowly, covering more and more of her hands to the point where there wasn't a single spot on either hand that was a regular flesh colour. The metallic smell overwhelmed her. The blood was flowing onto her hands freely. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from screaming. This was because she'd hurt the dragons. This was her fault. She-

"Astrid!"

She blinked.

Her hands were back to normal.

Hiccup went over to her and tried to take her hands in his, but she moved away from him swiftly. He looked at her in surprise, maybe even as if he were wounded, but he shook it off.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm fine. We don't have time for this. We have to go, before Viggo and Ryker see me"

As Astrid said it, she stayed rooted to her spot on the ground. Starlight gave her a gentle nudge and a whole new wave of nausea hit her. The idea of riding Starlight was now daunting, edging on terrifying. She didn't deserve to ride such a magnificent companion. It broke Astrid's heart to think about how the sight that once made her happy beyond words now made scares beyond belief.

Nevertheless, she did ride Starlight. They needed to leave. But Astrid wouldn't look at her hands. She couldn't.

They were stained with the blood of her mistakes.

xxxx

She'd been a fool.

Really, she'd known that all along. From the second Astrid had arrived on the edge there was a part of her that knew she would never be able to stay. But she was happy. Really happy. Her heart and mind had screamed two different things and,for the first time in her life, she'd listened to her heart.

Now she knew never to do that again.

It had been idiotic for her to think she could escape her past and live freely. To think that she could find happiness, that she even deserved to be happy in the first place. After everything she'd done... The way she'd hurt dragons in the past, without mercy, without thought... How could she ever think that she deserved the friendship of one?

The whole ride back Astrid had felt sick to her stomach. She loathed herself. The once joyous elation that flowed through her when she rode Starlight had been ripped out of her and replaced with a feeling of fear and disgust. It had all been so blurry. She was so consumed in her emotions she could barely register anything around her. Without her love of dragon riding she was losing a part of herself, possibly her favourite part of herself. Now there was some sort of numb anger in its place.

All that talk about not being able to change her past; accepting her past, moving on from it, it was silly of her to speak like that. Her past wasn't just something that she could leave behind like an old forgotten trinket. The past shadowed over the blonde warrior constantly, she'd just been ignoring it.

Not ignoring completely. Her entire time with the riders there was a part of her that feared her past would never leave her alone, but until that day she had always considered it possible.

"You're not a good person Astrid"

Six words and she was plunged into a blinding darkness. These sorts of things had happened to her before. She had experienced such low spells under the influence of the hunters. However, when this happened she had flying to calm her down. Now she was without her one release, leaving her to be shackled to the ground by the chains made up of her anxieties and regrets. To her, where the sky was free and forgiving, the land was merciless and cold. The land reminded her of all she had done, and furthermore judged her for it.

This was too much for her. She absolutely needed to leave. Staying would break her. There was no way that Astrid could leave on Starlight, but there had to be another way. A boat maybe, surely they had at least one on the edge. Or if not, she figured she could build one. There had to be a way to just get out.

Astrid stared at Starlight and the shame and guilt that coursed through her caused unspeakable pain. She hated having to leave her best friend of three, nearly four, years. Starlight had been her rock in a life of uncertainty and chaos. The two had bonded and even though Astrid didn't want to leave her and break it, she knew it was for the best. One day, Starlight would find another rider, a better rider. One who had a better past than her. They would connect in a way that she and her beautiful never would. Briefly, Astrid wondered if that was even possible before pushing that thought aside. Of course it was true. It had to be.

Starlight crooned softly, tone tinged with worry 'Are you okay?'

"Oh Star" she whispered helplessly, dropping to her knees "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry''

She reached out to hug her companion, but it happened again. The closer her hands got to the dragon, the more they changed colour. The red was returning. Covering every inch of her hands and slowly making its way to further up to her wrists, the once fierce young teen was forced to retract her hands. Instead, she just allowed her head to fall into her hands, the idea of touching Starlight was still unbearable.

"I'm so sorry" she repeated once more, desperation rapidly seeping into her voice, "I'm sorry for everything I've done, for the way I've treated your kind, all the damage I've caused. I'm sorry for all of it"

Starlight tried to come closer but Astrid backed away "No. I'm sorry girl, but it's for the best that you don't" she smiled tearily "You-you need someone that can be a good rider for you, I can't do that, not after everything I've done"

At that point, something inside Astrid snapped as she understood the reality of her words. Finally, she felt the tears falling down her face and accepted that she was crying. She let out a racking sob that rippled through her entire body. With a shudder, she allowed her tears to fall silently but freely.

"Astrid?" an alarmed voice rang out from behind her.

It was Hiccup. Of course it would be Hiccup. Because Astrid felt that the world hadn't tortured her enough that day, of course the gods sent him of all people to see her.

He rushed to her, kneeling down beside her, "What's wrong?"

Without moving, she mumbled "Leave me alone Hiccup"

"What's going on? Are you crying?"

"I said, leave me alone" she insisted, attempting to keep her voice even.

"I don't want to leave you alone. Not when you're this upset" he also persisted, for such a kind a person, the stubbornness in him was surprisingly strong.

"For god's sake Hiccup! I said leave me alone! What part of that do you not understand?!" She yelled, looking at him at last.

Hiccup's face was an open book, and she could read every emotion that passed across it perfectly. She watched as the shock from her yelling at him transformed into a surprised but concerned gaze, directed right at her and her, what she assumed must be, tear stained cheeks. Part of her yearned to turn away from him again, shame and embarrassment growing by the second. However, a bigger part of her was just too tired. Let him see for all she cared, it would more than likely be the last time he saw her anyways.

"Astrid..." he reached out a hand towards her face but she quickly avoided it by standing up.

"Stop" she said sharply but she soon lost her edge "I don't need you to worry for me, I'm fine."

"Clearly you're not fine" he argued "Come on Astrid, I know you"

"No you don't" she laughed bitterly, wondering why she was saying these words, wondering if she'd lost control "You think you do Hiccup, but you don't. There's so much about me that you don't know"

After a brief silence, he spoke again "Well then I want to know that stuff"

"Trust me, you don't" the teen scoffed, "You really don't"

"Yes, I do"

"That's because you're naive" she snapped, instantly regretting her wording. However, words kept tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop it. "You believe that everyone in the world is a good person at heart, and that everyone deserves the chance to prove it. It's not true. Not everyone is a good person. I'm not" the last sentence was a mere whisper.

"Yes, you are" he tried to step closer to her but she backed away again "Of course not everyone in the world is genuinely good, I do know that. But you, you-"

"Am not" she finished for him "You don't know anything about who I was, what I was like, how I behaved. If you knew the half of it, you would..." Astrid trailed off, unable to say the words aloud.

"I'd what?" he questioned curiously

"It doesn't matter" she replied, voice hardening with every word "The point is, you don't know me the way you think you do. I don't want you to either. And I don't want you to waste your time trying either"

Something about that last part made Hiccup's panic levels rise "Woah woah woah, what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that" her eyes averted his gaze, glancing everywhere in the room but him "I'm leaving"

"What?! Astrid- No you- You can't just- Oh for the love of Thor would you just look at me" he took hold of her arms, making her her pause from a pace she didn't know she was doing.

She watched as he analyzed her face. His eyes narrowed as he really took her appearance in. Red, blotchy eyes with puffy cheeks. Her tears were still streaming down but she was at a point where she didn't have the strength to stop it.

"I know your mind won't let you right now, but please try and think about what you're doing" he pleaded softly.

She swallowed her nerves and used her voice once more "I have thought about it. And you don't need to be upset, Starlight isn't coming with me. Toothless will still have his friend, I wouldn't do that to them"

"That's not why I'm upset and you know it" he shot back automatically "What brought this on? What happened on that island?"

With a firm grimace and clenched fists, she replied "Dagur"

Almost instantly, his face clouded over "You saw Dagur"

"Yeah" she nodded slowly "And he's not going to Viggo and Ryker about me being with you guys, he wouldn't do that to Heather. But… He said stuff, stuff that was not particularly nice"

"What did he say to you?"

"Like I said it before, it doesn't matter" Astrid told him, attempting to push past him "I can't stay here"

"It matters to me" his hold on her was still firm "Why can't you stay here?"

There were so many emotions running through her. Frustration, sadness, contempt but most of all exhaustion. She was so tired of all of this, so she burst "Because it wouldn't be right!"

He only peered at her, almost like he was trying to catch up with something "You're going to have to explain this to me"

"Don't you get it? I've already told you, I'm not a good person. I was a hunter, I hurt dragons for a living."

"That doesn't make you a-"

"Yes it does!" she exclaimed, unwilling to hear the end of his sentence "I keep talking about how I just need to accept my past and move on from it, that's not how it works. My past… It's a part of me. I can't ignore it. I've hurt so many dragons from my childhood into my teens. Helping a few dragons doesn't act as some sort of pardon."

He was still watching her pour her heart out, but he wasn't saying anything, so she continued "Starlight deserves someone better than me. You and all the riders deserve a better addition to your team than me. Someone who wasn't your sworn enemy until six months ago. Someone who doesn't hasn't injured dozens of dragons. Someone without dragon hunter in their blood. Someone who…" she choked back a sob "Someone who doesn't have dragon blood on their hands"

He walked towards her, and the determination his gaze anchored her to her spot "Alright, I'm going to take those one at a time"

Astrid couldn't think of how to respond, so he took her silence as a means to continue.

"First of all, you and Starlight have a bond. Once you create that with a dragon, there is nobody better for them. It wasn't random, there was a reason she was the dragon you found and not just some random one. If bonds were so easily broken, there would be no point in making them in the first place. Starlight doesn't want anyone better, there is no one better for her than you, I promise"

Once again, she gulped. He was passionate about what he was saying, that much was clear. Interrupting would come to no fruition. So, silently; she let him go on, trying her best to take in what he was saying.

"Second I want you here, the riders want you here. Heather, Fishlegs, even Camicazi. Ask anyone and they'll say that they want you here. You do fit in with us, whether you think so or not. You managed to get Cami to warm up to you, that's not an easy task. You have all the best qualities of a dragon rider, that's why you should be here, with other dragon riders"

"A-Are you going to give me a speech for all of these points?" Astrid questioned, voice wavering slightly.

"If it means you'll stay then absolutely. But fine, I'll try and shorten these ones. Yes, you have injured lots of dragons, but you've also helped lots of dragons. Besides, you were a kid doing what you were told, it wasn't your fault. You don't have dragon hunter in your blood, you're not related to them. But even if you did, it wouldn't define you as a person." He spoke quickly, edging on desperate "And finally, if you have dragon blood on your hands, so does anyone else"

"W-what?"

"I'm guessing the 'dragon blood' is talking about the dragons you've injured" he paused as she nodded "Right, well we've all hurt dragons before, whether we like it or not"

"That's not-"

"True? Yes, it is" Hiccup finished for her "Astrid, you've seen Toothless' prosthetic tail fin, right?"

"Yeah" she answered slowly

"He only has that because I shot him down in the first place. If it weren't for me, he'd still have both tail fins. Our whole relationship started because I injured him. Do I like that that's how it started? No, of course not. But it happened. Astrid, what you have to remember is that we grew up with a lot of the same values. When I was little, hurting dragons was something I used to dream about, it was how we were raised. You can't blame yourself for learning what others taught"

"I guess but-"

"No, no buts. Think about it, if you have dragon blood on your hands because you've injured dragons, what about all the people that have killed them? Hel, my father is Stoick the Vast, a once renowned dragon slayer. I can't even count how many dragons he's killed, but he doesn't anymore, that's what counts" he paused briefly, going over his wording "Look, life isn't about the mistakes you've made in the past, it's about not repeating them in the future and making it better, which you're doing''

"I… Hadn't thought about it like that" she admitted meekly.

"You're upset, it's understandable" the teen reasoned "So that's what Dagur said to you? All those things about not belonging?"

Though Astrid did not speak, the look she was giving more or less confirmed the answer.

"That son of a half troll!" Hiccup exclaimed in fury "He had no right to say that to you! I swear if I see him-"

"Stop" she interrupted gently "It's fine, really. I'm okay"

And she actually was. Hiccup's words were resonating with her deeply. For the first time since arriving, she could truly feel that part of her past float away from her. Now she was accepting that her past was something to remember, but to keep only as a memory. His passion was infectious, it was no hard not to see things his away.

"You're sure?" He felt further need to confirm, to which she smiled "Good. And you're not leaving?"

Astrid's lips pressed into a thin line "No, I'm not leaving"

He pulled her towards himself, enveloping her in a warm hug. Without the burden of her past, a great sense of relief flooded over her. But now there was another sensation not allowing her nerves to settle, something akin to guilt pooled in her gut.

She told him she wasn't leaving.

Astrid had just lied to Hiccup.

So that was meant to be published earlier but this chapter took longer than I thought it would to write! I won't lie to you, I don't actually love how this chapter turned out. I'm not sure, it just doesn't feel like my best writing.

Sorry if Dagur seemed OOC. This won't be his last appearance. That's all I'll say on that.

Next chapter has been a long time coming… The riders are finally heading back to Berk! For another two parter!

Also, we're getting towards the end of this story now, so I'll start telling you guys fun facts and answering questions. So if you have any questions please leave them for me! (Except "Have you read the Grimborn Sister?" That's a question I'm already planning on answering!)

Quote from next chapter: "Everybody thinks this place is perfect. It wasn't always that way"

Shohini :)