The Price We Paid

by BellaAodh

The past has finally caught up with Kit when he runs into Ty at the Shadowhunter Academy. Meanwhile the Shadow World is changing, the Mortal Instruments are missing and a new foe is rising. Kit finds that he can't run away from his lineage just as he can't run away from that night three yeas ago. Soon they will both have to face the consequences as death comes looking for payment.

18. The Flaws That Make Out Tragedies

She was gone, and really, what did he think was going to happen? He knew she was lying, he knew she couldn't really want to stay, yet he let himself believe. Ash had always believed he was a masochist, but now he had the proof.

But he had felt something for once, he had even felt hopeful, and how foolish that was. Now all that he had felt was draining around him as the darkness enclosed, the light that she had disappeared and he knew he would never see her again, the girl with the murder of crows.

He didn't care about Elsif or his betrayal, he didn't care about the prisoners begging to be allowed to tell him what had happened in a bargain for their freedom, he didn't care about anything as he tried to turn the pain in his heart into ice.

It was harder now than it used to be to turn off how he felt, to pretend nothing at all affected him.

He had been ice and stone born from the ashes his parents had created. He felt his fragility like never before as the desire to crumple to the ground, or carve out what was left of the heart he had left until feeling was impossible.

Instead of giving into his weakness he spread his wings wide and took flight, trying to out run his thoughts and leave himself behind.

He felt the air against his wings, and it felt like arrows piercing him, trying to drag him down. He rebelled against the feeling, trying to soar even higher but his heart was trying to anchor itself back down into the river below to be washed away to the unknown shores.

Dru was gone, now that he had finally known her she disappeared forever.

Ash couldn't help but think of all the ways everything that he had ever had turned black and rotten, and that was the way things would inevitably continue for a boy named for destruction.

To have something to keep, to grow anything in his heart was never for him, his father had taught him that much.

He felt something strange in his heart. His thoughts turned suddenly darker as he clutched at his shirt. It was better that Dru left before he found a way to taint her too. He had made the mistake of telling her what he was and that was why she left, he was certain.

That was why everything went wrong, and now Ash was finding it hard to even care.

Sammael would get his way in the end, and kill him before it was over and then he would likely kill Dru and everyone else she had tried to protect.

She would die that way as a Shadowhunter was meant to, and Ash would die as a Morgenstern, just another tool for destruction.

This place would pretty soon be just like Thule, a dead land torn and gutted, the demonic infestation left to fester on the carcass of the land. It was the same thing the years had turned him into.

It had all turned out to be pointless, he was just running from the inevitable whether it was from the fate of the world or his own destiny.

His heart quickened and Ash felt the darkness within it churn and pump through his veins. It felt like lead weighing him down and threatening to burst.

His flying became shaky, and before he realized it he was losing his vision and plummeting towards the ground.

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"So, the satyr with the drink with green things growing out of it, what was that supposed to do?" Kit asked Evander.

"That was supposed to make you think everyone's skin had peeled off," Evander said, without looking at all affected by the gruesome effects.

Kit made a face. "And the Peris, he seemed really disappointed that whatever it was didn't work."

Evander looked completely serene as he said, "It would make the drinker unable to communicate in nothing but screeches."

"At least that sounds less horrifying than the others."

"Permanently," He amended.

They were sitting in their common room, at least Kit was. Evander had refused to sit on the grounds that it would not be professional, which Kit wasn't sure that he believed.

Evander had brought up breakfast, but Kit was the only one here. He guessed Ty had probably headed back to the library, and he felt safe to assume Jaime was still asleep.

Kit decided to go over what he had noticed at the feast last night, specifically the Unseelies that had tried to slip him something.

"If you knew what they were doing then why didn't you stop them, advisor?" Kit asked, taking a large bite of his french toast. Who knew that even Faeries in ancient kingdoms had the recipe for french toast? It was delicious with fresh fruit that mixed perfectly with the sweet creme that coated the toast. The only problem with it was that there was no silverware to eat it with. He didn't know if this was because Lyonesse had a weird rule about eating everything by hand or if Evander had told the cook specifically not bring him up any with the meal.

Kit licked his fingers until he noticed the cook staring at him with her arms folded.

She was a stout Faerie, with red hair and chubby cheeks and she did nothing but stare uncomfortably at him the entire time she had been here.

Kit tried to wipe off the creme on his gear instead.

"It is just as important for the Faey to see your cunning as well as your strength. In fact, it may be the most important ability you could possess. With your last trial you have been able to demonstrate both." Evander explained.

"If your talking about the dragon then I don't want to talk about it." Kit muttered feeling morose at the mention of the dragon he had to kill and the fact that now an entire race was extinct thanks to him.

"I expect that since you are holding an audience with me it means you are accepting your responsibilities as King," Evander said.

"It's not an audience Evander, we're just talking because you happened to be here." Kit didn't want to think about being King, but that was no longer possible. That unthinkable future loomed over him with only two trials away. He wondered if he would ever see Tessa and Jem again, or if Will would forget all about him. He hated the idea that if he ever did see him again, years could have passed and he would be a young man with no memory of the boy that used to let him hold his finger, or badly sing to him while he was crying.

It was better not to think about it, or about how Ty will probably meet someone else and fall in love and only think about the boy he once called Watson every now and then, like recalling a dream you had once thought you had. That thought alone was almost enough to make Kit get up and find Ty and take them away from this place forever.

Kit felt the dread sinking in as the reality of what it meant to be separated from the world he had grown up in started to hit him.

He sunk into the couch, tuning out Evander as Ty opened the door, returning from wherever he had been.

Kit looked up, and was flooded with visions of the two of them dancing. Ty's hands wrapped around his waist holding him tightly to him, water droplets from the waterfall falling into his hair and dripping down his cheek. The look of his eyes as he tilted his head up to shake the water from his hair, and the thin transparent material of his tunic that hugged his body tightly. All of this filled his head, and Kit could hear the siren's call from that night now resounding in his head as a powerful lure to keep him under this enchantment forever.

Then he remembered that that night had passed, and just like whatever that moment had been between them it was gone forever.

But he swore to never forget it, even if he was trapped in this city for centuries, he would never allow himself to forget a single detail of what he felt that night, and the way Ty looked when he held out his hand for him to take.

He tried to shake himself back to the present and asked, "Did you go to the library? I think Jaime is still asleep, so if you hurry we can split his share of the food."

Ty looked uncomfortable as he stood there, his eyes sweeping the room to look at the food and the two Faeries before saying, "Jaime is gone."

"What?" Kit just blinked.

"He's gone," Ty repeated, "he left Lyonesse."

Kit jumped to his feet with a swiftness that made the cook finally blink. "That bastard!" Why did it surprise Kit that Jaime just decided to leave without telling anyone? He had the only sure way for Ty to get back home and he just left. Kit wouldn't risk using his powers to send Ty back, that was too unpredictable. He would have to go back with him. But if Kit left he didn't know that he had it in himself to come back and say goodbye to Ty.

Not to mention that bastard still had his dagger. He hoped Jace found him and stabs him with it.

"I told him to leave," he said to Kit's surprise.

"Without telling me, why?"

Ty walked over to his desk and flipped through the pages of his notebook idly, "he was worried about Dru, and I agreed that it had been too long since we heard from her. He wanted to go ahead and see if he could scout out the location at the least."

Kit couldn't believe that Ty and Jaime had arranged this behind his back. "But if Jaime took the entiendad then you can't use it to get back home."

Ty stopped flipping through the pages, his gaze moved to his jawline then to his ear. "I told you I'm not going home until you do."

Kit was starting to get frustrated now. How could Jaime leave without Ty? He knew what Ty meant to him, he knew that Kit couldn't risk losing him, and the longer he stayed here the more danger he put him in.

Why did Ty have to be so stubborn about everything?

"You can't stay, Ty," he told him angrily, "even if I have to take you back myself, you're going home."

As the argument heated up Evander started to usher the small cook out the door, "I do believe we should be leaving while they are having their little domestic."

In a second they were gone and out the door, leaving the two of them staring at each other defiantly.

Ty looked shocked. "You're going to force me to leave?"

Kit stood his ground. "If you make me I will. I can teleport us both back home and leave you there, and without me you won't be able to come back."

Ty stood there, speechless, his eyes darting across Kit's face as he tried to comprehend that Kit was actually threatening him, when he did he was angry. "If you want rid of me that badly then you're going to have to force me to leave."

Kit ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "I don't want rid of you Ty, I want you to be safe! I have too much to lose if you're here!"

But this only made Ty angier, as he moved away from the table and walked up to Kit. There was a look of determination on his face, and he had his hands in fists. There was a ridgedness to him that alarmed Kit. "You're the one in actual danger and you won't allow me to protect you when you would send me away for the same reasons?" He demanded.

Kit wasn't used to seeing Ty like this, he didn't know what he did to push him. He knew Ty hated being told what to do, but he was always rational, he must see this was this was for the best. It wasn't what he wanted to be the last memory of Ty that he had, he wanted that dance with the two of them holding onto each other. "I can't...Nothing can happen to you Ty, I couldn't survive it."

He dared to glance up at him as he said it, holding his breath for Ty to dismiss it.

Instead he looked like he was fighting for words, his hands were opening and closing at his side. "Nothing will happen if I'm with you," he promised.

Kit vehemently shook his head, "You don't understand. I'm not being hyperbolic, I mean I've thought you had died before and it almost killed me, actually killed me."

"I don't understand. When did you think I had died?" Ty's dark eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Kit didn't want to say this, he never wanted to tell Ty just how pathetic he really was. He didn't need him to think he was even more pitiful then he probably already did. "At the House of Dark," he started, "it was one of the tests the Morrigan put me through. One of my ancestors died of a broken heart, so she put a spell on me to make me think you had died, and I almost did."

Kit could hear Ty suck in his breath. He didn't dare to look at him this time. It was no wonder Ty thought he couldn't leave him on his own. Now what would he think of him? That he would have to stay by Kit's side forever as he desperately clung to him?

Kit hated himself for how much he needed him.

There was no response from Ty, instead he was suddenly accosted by a putrid smell that burned his nose, as he reared his head up and he saw a yellow sky and a gray featureless landscape that stretched on for miles.

He wasn't in the tower with Ty anymore, he wasn't even sure he was in Lyonesse.

He turned around to look at his surroundings and saw nothing but ash and rock. There was a sun burning a sickly dull orange light, pitched low in the sky.

Ty was gone and he was utterly alone and completely lost.

He didn't have time to wonder where he was for long as he heard the scuttling of something in one of the sand dunes behind him.

He came to his senses quickly, and slide down the hill he was on, kicking up ash that clung to his clothes and threatened to choke him, and dove behind what looked like rubble of a building that had been weathered down to nothing but it's foundations.

He ducked low, grabbing ahold of the side and peering around it, already feeling his hands become coated black with soot.

He heard the clicking of mandibles and the bristling of hundreds of legs before he even saw the thing.

It was pitch black, shaped like a centipede with mandibles searching the ground for anything to stick into it's gaping maw of a mouth. It had about a hundred legs altogether but the worst part about it was the two long legs on either side.

He was absolutely positive there was nothing like this thing in the Codex or any other Demon manual Kit had seen.

Suddenly, the creature made an excited screech, It's mouth started to drool and it reared itself straight up by it's two long legs. Then it sprang, jumping high in the air and in the direction of Kit.

Kit was disoriented from this hellscape he suddenly found himself in, unprepared for strange creatures from his nightmares, but still he was faster than whatever this thing was.

He pulled out his sword as it leaped over head, thrusting it high above him into the thing's abdomen and carved the demon in half as it tried to fly over him.

It was dead before it ever hit the ground.

Cautiously, he walked up to it, noticing the black ichor that bled from it. It was definitely a demon, he confirmed.

But where the hell was he, and what was he supposed to do here?

The thought suddenly occurred to him that maybe this wasn't part of a trial at all. Maybe he had used his powers so much that something within him snapped, he had finally fallen over that cliff and into that dark unknown he had always been afraid of, and teleported himself here on complete accident.

Was this what happened when he overexerted himself? He starts teleporting out of control?

Kit closed his eyes, feeling the light within himself rise and surround him. He pictured the common room in the Palace of Danann, the mini bar with bizarre drinks, the small weapons rack, the plush cushions and bowls of fruit that laid about the place.

He felt himself start to fade, become indistinct as he shifted to being between two places and nowhere at all, and then suddenly the light was snuffed out and he was falling hard fast back into his body. The rebound was so harsh it almost knocked him over. He took a deep breath of the air and coughed, his body rebuffing the ash and whatever else laced the air here.

This place was poison and death, he doubted anyone else could survive it here, and he didn't have much hope that he would do much better.

He felt himself sweat as he looked to the dead sun above him. His powers had failed him, either because he had finally found his limit or because something else was keeping him for leaving, he didn't know.

All he could do now was hope there really was a way out.

He was never more thankful for the weight of a sword in his hand as he started to trudge through the ash.

He glared at the distant city ahead of him. "Of course things would escalate until I ended up in actual Hell. I was starting to get complacent with the lack of unfortunate events the past twenty four hours." He muttered bitingly under his breath.

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His hopes were slowly being punctured that he was sent here on purpose as he picked his way across the dead landscape. The only things that littered the lifeless land were demons or the skeletons of demons. Kit mostly stayed out of sight, trying not to fight as much as possible in case he accidently stumbled onto a horde he couldn't take down himself. He thought for all the abuse his life had taken on so far it would be pretty anticlimactic to die randomly without anyone ever knowing about it.

He thought the least fate could do him was toss him a heroic death going down in a blaze of glory.

He was sure now without a doubt that he had somehow found himself far outside of Lyonesse, but that didn't exactly narrow things down. The only place that would make sense was a realm of Hell, but that shouldn't have been possible. He didn't think even his powers had the ability to transcend planes of reality and dimensions.

Throat burning and completely exhausted, he finally found himself in front of the ruined city. Of course he had never actually tested that, but why would he?

It looked like there had once been a wall that enclosed the city, but now it was just dust and rubble at his feet that he easily stepped over. As he walked through the empty city, passing fallen houses and channels that had long run dry, he couldn't help but feel a terrible sense of foreboding.

As he continued through the ruin the feeling that he had been here before was almost paralyzing. He wanted to stop and figure it out, but whatever little light this place had was fading and he knew he needed to find some relative sense of safety.

Only when he scaled a mountain of rubble did it finally click, as he stood above an eerily familiar square. It was untouched from this scorched place, cobblestone still lined the ground and Kit knew where he was. He had been here recently, watching in disgust as he realized this place had been turned into a heartless burial mound. It was Angel Square and the Hall of Accords was still standing, and bizarrely enough, almost completely intact. Only it wasn't the white stone like he remembered but made of a coated gold metal, with engravings carved into the walls.

His confusion about finding himself in a bizarro version of Idris was soon put to rest as he found the answer walking up to the doors of the Hall of Accords.

The doors had panels carved into the metal, each one featuring a different scene from what Kit guessed was a history. He couldn't read the language on the door but seeing the panels of Shadowhunters fighting against downworlders and demons to their last breaths, was enough to jog his memory of the stories he had heard Jace and the others talk about.

He was an Edom, once a parallel dimension like Thule until the demons had blackned it to its core, reserving it as a realm of Hell.

Kit felt his mouth go dry, he really was trapped in Hell. The others had barely made it out alive and they had to bargain with a Prince of Hell to do that, if Kit couldn't get himself back then…

He closed his eyes a second time, this time picturing Ty, the argument they had and the look of determination and fear as he said he wanted to protect him.

His eyes snapped open and gritted his teeth and pushed open the door. He couldn't leave Ty like that, there was no way he could hurt him by disappearing and leaving him alone and stranded there.

The heavy doors creaked and groaned from years of rust and disuse. Kit winced at the sound, scanning the area for any signs of demons, but again he was just alone, and he didn't find that to be much better.

Inside the marble floor had been cracked and almost ripped up, and coated in blood that crumbled into red dust. The glass ceiling was all but gone save for a few long shards poised towards the sky as if to puncture it.

At the very center of the room placed onto a gold plinth was a statue of a warrior. He had a fearsome face that seemed chiseled to emphasise the man's cruel sharpness as well as immortalize his righteous superiority. Kit didn't need to read the plaque or see the runes to know he was a Nephilim, he just knew Shadowhunters. In his hand he held a real weapon, a long staff made of dark wood. At the center of the staff was a large crystal clear orb, the wood growing around it as if it was a natural part of the staff.

Kit drew closer, holding his breath. The man seemed to stare down at him as he approached with a backdrop of a falling sun and wicked amusement plastered on his face.

Obviously, Kit felt a growing uneasiness.

He looked at the statues hand that gripped the staff, and he knew he could easily free it.

He bit his lip considering this. He had seen plenty of Indiana Jones movies to know this was going to be a trap, but he also knew he was in a realm of Hell with no way out, and if he was sent here as a trial, this would be the kind of object they would send him after.

Kit looked down at the plaque and was able to read the name Jonathan Shadowhunter, which didn't surprise him. Kit always thought Jonathan Shadowhunter sounded like a pretentious asshole. It made him think though, that if someone did place this here for him to find, that they had done it to mock him. To witness the inevitable defeat of Nephilim and to set him against the Shadowhunter who was more like a King in Nephilim history than any other figure, against another Nephilim prince.

He had two choices, ignore it and wander around this wasteland until he died on the off chance he stumbled upon something else, or he could take his chances and deal with whatever happens next, and still likely die.

Kit decided that if he was going to die he would rather just get it over with, and went for it.

The statue was tall, so Kit had to clamber up the Shadowhunter, compromising both the self important statue and his own dignity. He was pretty sure if he could see where Kit's crotch was in proximity to his face as he reached for the staff, he wouldn't look so smug.

Holding his breath he reached over and pulled it out in one swift motion.

The reaction was immediate as an inhuman wail mixed together with a human scream to form a blaring melody that filled the hall.

Kit fell off the statue, the staff falling to the ground beside him, as the sound pierced his ears.

He winced, covering his ears as he looked up at the sky. After a moment the alarm faded, but there was no relief because the alarm had served its purpose. The sky suddenly turned black as a massive dark cloud fell over the Hall, only to realize it was a horde of flying demons preparing to descend into the Hall after him.

They were large and bulbous with small wings that had taloned points and rows of shark teeth, and there were too many for him to count.

The sound of his heart replaced the alarm in his ears as he held Caliburn high to prepare for the onslaught.

He put one foot behind the other and braced himself, his nerves singing with anticipation, his heart pumped with excitement that his head knew wasn't appropriate, because at the same time his brain told him he was facing down certain death, his body was elated that the purpose it was created for was in right in front of him, burning into him a fanatical drive to fight.

Adrenaline and fear finally broke free as the first demon dove for him, and Kit lept raising his sword to meet that dark cloud of teeth and death that threatened to swallow him.

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Ty flung open a door and suddenly he was in a land of ash and death. He was transported into Edom, he recognized it immediately and he knew better than to believe it was an illusion. His research into Crann Bethadh had lead him to this room obscurely hidden down the labyrinth of corridors under the City of Danann, directly beneath the great tree one floor above him.

From the texts and scrolls he had sifted through he knew exactly what was hidden inside, and though he couldn't translate it completely, he had a strong theory as to what it's unique powers were.

The fact that Ty had found himself in Edom was almost confirmation enough that he was correct.

But that did nothing to quell his fear that Kit had been spirited away to a dimension of hell alone without any explanation. Ty remembered not only the history lessons they were taught about the Dark War but the things people had whispered about the horrors in Edom that Jace and Clary and the others had faced back then as a child refugee.

Stories of Heavenly Fire that never ceased to burn, demons with strange powers, and an atmosphere inhospitable and poisonous to Nephilim.

Ty made his way to the fallen city he assumed was likely Idris, and not the demons capital city, Idumea, because of it's degenerated state, knowing that Kit would likely seek out shelter as well as a place he could collect his bearings.

Ty could breathe, but there was an acidic element to the little oxygen there was, leaving his throat burned, and the ash that covered the ground obscuring his vision and thickening the air only worsened that fact.

He felt his movements quickly slow as the runes on his skin faded and became unusable. He sludged through the barren landscape, avoiding demons and taking the ones that obscured his path with the well aimed throw of his knives, until he was finally at the edge of Alicante.

Ty stood on the bricks that remained from the wall that had once protected the city, looking out at the remains of Nephilim to try to discern any sign of where Kit might be. The buildings laid in ruins, but they were still large in number and the crumpled foundations limited his vision.

He was about to take his first step into the city, deciding to stick on the main path that would lead him through most of the cities districts when a dark shadow fell over him.

Ty moved to grab a knife but as he tried to turn to see what had found him everything suddenly went blank…..

Ty was translating an ancient scroll he had received permission to have from the Spiral Labyrinth. It was written in a demonic language no one had seen before or understood until Ty had discovered it himself, and became the first person to be able to read it. He was distracted from his work when he heard his sister huff from behind him.

He turned around in his chair to watch as she grabbed a book from a shelf and idly flipped through it looking bored, her long brown hair bouncing over her shoulder.

"Why do you always drag me to your boring research missions, Ty?" She said.

Ty frowned at her, but he was far from annoyed, he hardly ever was with her. "I didn't invite you to come this time, you know."

She flashed him a smile, meeting her blue green eyes the rest of his family inherited but him. He looked different than his siblings, but he had never felt different when he looked at his twin.

Not that he was different.

"Technically, they shouldn't allow me to 'help' you anyway, but they always make an exception for you. Which, by the way, they should stop doing before the other students start getting jealous of all the special treatment," She said, ignoring him.

Ty shrugged, his fingers moving to fiddle with the Centurion badge pinned to his chest and found himself speaking, "If they learn some basic competency then they wouldn't need to give me preferential treatment, but as it is they can't afford not to kiss my ass."

Livvy, not finding his words strange, shook her head as if he was being predictable. "I think Kit is becoming a bad influence on you."

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it was rude to talk about people behind their backs? Especially extremely attractive people who have ears listening in at every wall." Kit suddenly appeared from behind a bookshelf. He was wearing a loose hoodie, a chain attached to his belt loop and a metal earring in his left ear. "Which is kinda my job in case you forgot," Kit reminded playfully.

Livvy rolled her eyes without ire, "and what does being attractive have to do with any of that?"

"I think it would be amiss to not mention it if I'm going to describe myself," he winked at Ty, and Ty felt his heart skip a beat at his sudden arrival, as well as the anticipation he always felt when he was near.

He didn't have to wait long, though, as Kit walked over to him and brought his hand up to Ty's cheek, letting it slowly slide under his chin and tilt it up towards him before leaning down to kiss him.

Ty felt himself go weak at the same time he felt himself give into the pleasure, bringing his hand up to wind in his boyfriends curls and deepen the kiss.

Kit made a soft noise that made Ty smile against his lips with a satisfaction he rarely ever felt in his life before now.

Livvy made a noise in the back of her throat that Ty understood.

"PDA, guys, come on," She said.

Ty felt Kit pull away reluctantly, their eyes meeting comfortably and Ty knew what he was thinking.

"Yes think of the children. What would they do at this institution meant to indoctrinate child soldiers if they saw kissing, good heavens." Kit teased.

"I'm practically clutching my pearls at your improperness, Herondale," she teased back.

Ty laughed, feeling complete as he watched the two of them.

Kit pulled a file from behind his back and plopped it in front of Ty. "Anyways, I came to give you the information I pulled out from my sources. When the Clave is finally done with you, Julian has been asking for our help on a case he's been having trouble with, says he can't do it without you." Kit's hand absently found its way entwining itself with Ty's.

Ty looked down at their hands and the family rings that they had exchanged and smiled, squeezing Kit's hand.

"We can go after we visit Tessa and Jem, you haven't seen them in a long time," Ty said.

Kit instantly brightened at the thought, "we should bring the award the Clave gave you to show Will. He loves it when I bring you around, he keeps trying to emulate you. He's even started reading Sherlock. Which by the way, Tessa loves and says, and I quote, "please thank Tiberius for his impeccable taste and good influence on my children."

"At least she's right about one of those things," Kit added, "and by that I mean the impeccable taste, as in me."

Livvy brought her hand up to her chin pretending to think. Her parabatai rune stood out sharp and strong on her arm, and Ty could almost feel his own like an extension of their hearts beating together as he looked at it. "Hmm, yeah I don't think she was talking about you," She emphasized good naturedly.

Ty had completely forgotten about his work as he stood up so he could wrap his arm around his boyfriend's waist and pull him closer to him.

He felt a warmth burst inside him, a feeling that couldn't compare to any other knowing that Kit had chosen him, and that Ty was the one who got to hold him. He was the one that got to kiss him, the one Kit would go home to every night and share all of his thoughts and secrets.

His Watson was finally his to keep.

Suddenly, Ty's phone went off, startlingly loud as it vibrated in his pocket. He calmly pulled it out without urgency to see that Dru was video chatting him from some club. The music was blaringly loud and the off kilter brightness that saturated the room was piercing to the eye.

Ty tilted his head in perplexity, he wasn't sure why he thought that, he didn't mind any of that at all.

"Guys!" His little sister tried to yell over the music. "Me and Jaime found this awesome vampire lounge! It's like something from Dracula meets victorian goths! The candelabra has black skull candles!" She yelled excitedly.

"We should go," Kit looked over at him, unlinking his arm around him to take the phone, "you could use a break and I'm up for any excuse to dance with you in a dark room," he wiggled his eyebrows.

Ty laughed along with the others understanding the joke, but soon found himself frowning at the idea.

He didn't have any reason to not want to go and couldn't understand his initial aversion to the idea, especially when he didn't feel like working anyways. But there was something wrong in that sentiment as well. He always wanted to work, mostly because to him it wasn't work, it was his passion, his hobby. His mind needed to be and was always occupied, so why did he find himself not thinking of much of anything at all?

He grappled with sudden doubt as he questioned how he would be able to focus as intently as he needed to like this.

Ty looked around and tried to concentrate on his surroundings, suddenly picking out glaring details he would never have missed before.

Kit had unlinked his arm to take the phone from him with his right hand, but Kit was ambidextirous so there was no need and no necessary instinct to do that. Livvy was wearing a cotton shirt which he knew irritated her skin and wouldn't choose to wear. There were no students in the library besides themselves despite the fact that the sun beating down on them from above the glass ceiling would suggest it was the afternoon, which was strange in an institution that dictated dedicated and strict study habits. The scroll in which he had been translating was so old and deteriorated that it would have fallen apart under the circumstances of being casually handled without proper treatment or magical treatment which Ty now suspected it didn't. Most infuriatingly, was that Ty had to concentrate on these things individually, wracking his brain to try to discern anything off.

There was something wrong with him. He suddenly didn't recognize himself, did Kit and Livvy even recognize him?

He looked around at his perfect life, his twin sister by his side and the only person Ty had ever thought was worth falling in love with, finally returning his feelings. But none of it really mattered if it wasn't him living in this life.

The room began to waver, Kit and Livvy became indistinct as the room blurred and disappeared.

Suddenly, Ty was on his knees looking back out at the black ruins of Alicante.

He felt his mind return to him with great relief, and instantly understood the situation.

Ty flipped himself off the wall, landing on the broken pavement of Alicante and looked back up the wall to see a demon with large yellow eyes let out a screech.

Ty flinched, and pulled up his headphones.

The creature dove for him, and Ty jumped out of the way, cutting the back of the creatures legs. It tried to turn on him but Ty jumped on it's back, kicking it's head until it fell to the ground. He grabbed ahold of it's long neck and reached down to slit its throat.

Hot ichor squirted out, burning his hands and knife. But it had died and Ty was free from the illusion it had trapped him under.

There was a heavy feeling of remorse and loneliness as he thought about what he had seen. Himself at the Scholomance with Livvy alive and Kit in love with him. He closed his eyes for a moment, wishing he could forget about it completely. He knew what it was, the demon had tried to make him see what he wanted above all else, except he gotten one thing off that allowed Ty to break free.

Ty had never wished to change himself, to better himself and improve of course, but not to change who he was. His family had never made him feel ashamed for his differences and he had refused to allow the world to make he feel ashamed.

Julian had always made sure that he knew there was nothing wrong with him, and Kit and the more people he had met only reinforced that.

He looked back out to the city and felt his heart falter as he realized the sun was almost down. He had lost valuable time trapped in the demons thrall.

Then a sound let loose over the city, a wailing scream much louder than any living thing could produce, rising high above the city like a siren.

Ty immediately caught sight of a black mass pooling together in the sky, rapidly moving through the air to the source of the sound.

Ty kept his eyes locked onto that mass as he picked himself up off the demon and started running as fast as he could, doing his best to ignore the piercing sound that cut straight through his headphones and threatened to shatter his head.

Kit was there, and he had to make it in time.

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Ty pushed open the door to the Hall of Accords to find a dozen demons lay dead upon the cracked floor, hot icor ran and mixed with the red blood of Nephilim that had crusted the floors. The sky was a frenzied fury of teeth and winged talons, and at the center of all of it was Kit.

He watched as Kit fought, standing his ground as he was attacked on all sides. He kept his stance wide and flexible but didn't move from the center he was standing in, refusing to be chased around the room and losing control of keeping the room and his enemies in sight.

Watching him contending with them was incredible. Kit swept his sword in a wide arc, killing one demon and sending several hurdling back, while he weaved and ducked from the attacks to his side. He spun, parried, and attacked all in one spot.

The orange sun that permeated from the broken glass above, bathed Kit in a fiery glow. He was fierce, it gave him an intense beauty that was fascinating and hard to look away from. But Ty couldn't stand there and watch Kit fight for his life.

His eyes quickly found the staff of Crann Bethadh, the one made from the tree itself in hopes it would embody the properties the tree had been made for.

Ty started running.

Kit had managed to impale a demon on Caliburn, the round creature weighed down the item and slowed Kit down as he attempted to swing it at another approaching demon. Ty released two knives and threw them into the demon bearing down on Kit, then quickly pulled out two more and cut down several different demons that had blocked his way to the staff.

Another demon forgot about Kit entirely as it swooped down after him. Ty dove for the staff, avoiding the demon, but Kit had noticed and turned to see Ty reaching for the staff.

Ty grabbed ahold of it and looked up to see Kit staring after him. His mouth was parted in an 'o', he had stopped defending his position and tried to turn his back and move for Ty, completely forgetting about the demons that rounded for another attack, noticing Kit's distraction.

The pair rose up behind him, one of them latching it's giant mouth into Kit's shoulder while the other pierced through his side with its talons.

Ty watched in horror as the white from the demon's claw tore through Kit's gear and body, protruding all the way through.

Kit yelled in pain, he dropped Caliburn and fell to his knees. The demon still held fast with its teeth, digging in deeper while the other fought to release it's talon from Kit's body.

Everything else had stopped for Ty as he watched Kit fall.

His blonde hair matted with sweat and blood fell into his whitening face, the ash and ichor were the only things giving him color. He gave up Caliburn without struggle as he finally lost strength, his blue eyes were blown wide but he was still staring back at him.

Ty couldn't hear the sounds of the demons or the sound of his own screaming, he couldn't see anything but the blood that was quickly pouring over Kit, until all Ty could see was blood.

Ty felt pain rip through his chest at the same time he felt himself choke on his screams as he watched a spurt of blood pour from Kit's mouth.

Ty rushed forward, wielding the staff as a weapon and beat down the demons surrounding Kit, his body falling to the ground in a heap as Ty crushed the demons trying to attach themselves to him.

Ty tried to keep his thoughts under control, he tried to keep his rising panic at bay as he thought of the staff in his hands. He needed to use its power and bring them home.

More demons that had been crawling on the walls hiding in shadows like vultures waiting for their turn to pick at the carcass, started to shuffle closer.

Ty stood defensively over Kit, trying to concentrate and prepared to defend him. But the fact that he didn't know if Kit was breathing or not was making his own breath unsteady.

As the demons threatened closer, Ty fought every muscle in his body that wanted to drop him to the floor and go to Kit and instead forced himself to think of Kit's powers. He remembered how it felt like to be transported from one place to another as if he had just blinked and opened his eyes to find himself somewhere else. Kit said it was like choosing to stop existing in one place and simply exist in another.

He closed his eyes and imagined the Hall filled with demons around him slowly peeled away, he imagined the power in his staff erupting and tearing it away to take them back to Lyonesse. He held the staff high and then slammed it against the broken marble.

The staff banged against the floor, the sound of it went off like a gunshot richotteing of the walls and the ground shook like an earthquake. And when Ty opened his eyes they were no longer in Edom but a strange white room.

He looked down at his feet to where Kit laid. They were standing in a shallow pool of clear water that was rapidly turning red.

Ty fell to his knees with a splash and pulled Kit out of the cloud of red water, and lifted his head up as he held him. Blood mixed with water ran down his face in a stream, his eyes were closed, his face contorted in pain as his breath became shallow.

Ty quickly shifted Kit to his lap while he shrugged off his the shirt of his gear and wrapped it tightly around Kit's waist to staunch the blood flow. Ty held his face in his hands and bent low over him as he whispered to him.

"Kit, you have to wake up now," his lungs were being crushed with the effort of trying to pretend everything was alright while he looked down at Kit as his blood poured through his wound into Ty's hands.

Shakily, Ty pulled out a knife and started to cut off Kit's gear. When he cut most of it away from his chest he pulled out his stele and tried to draw an Iratze over his heart.

The rune faded as soon as Ty finished it. He gripped his stele harder until his fingers were bone white as he tried to draw another rune, his teeth gritted in desperation, and his eyes watering blurring his vision.

The rune faded again.

"Please don't, please don't, please don't!" He said over and over again.

Don't leave me!

Ty leaned close to him, his hair falling in Kit's face and his tears hitting his cheeks and running down his lips. But he didn't move at all.

"You need me?" Kit had asked him years ago.

Ty remembered leaning in close to him, his eyes closing tightly as he told him, "yes,"

And he had meant it, not to bring back Livvy, not to help him with the Shadow Market, he had needed him by his side, and that had never stopped being true, even when Ty had tried to convince himself for years that it was.

"I can't lose you now, I need you!" Ty murmured, choking on his own tears, as he held him close.

He thought of all the times he pulled Kit by the sleeves when they were younger, and Kit had never hesitated to follow, even though Ty knew now there were times that he wanted to, he still stayed for him. Even now Ty was still clinging desperately to him, afraid to let go. He could never let him go, and he refused to even now, even if that meant pulling him back from the dead.

The vision the demon had showed of everything Ty had dreamed they could be came back to him as Kit was slipping through his fingers along with all those possibilities.

He would do anything not to lose him.

Ty pressed his forehead against Kit's and brought his arms around him, pulling him tightly against him.

"I won't let you die, I'll bring you back, I'll-"

Suddenly, Ty felt Kit grip his shoulders.

Ty pulled back to see Kit's eyes flickering up at him.

"Don't," the words barely escaped Kit's mouth.

"I don't understand," Ty said, searching his face and his body for any signs of recovery. The Iratze still wasn't taking, and Kit was looking at him with an unfocused gaze.

"Not again, not for me," Kit said closing his eyes.

Ty lost his breath as a new wave of panic seized him. "I don't want to live without you. I can't go back to living without you," he tried to tell him, all the while in fear that he was already gone as he held him in his arms.

To his surprise the corner of Kit's lips quirked up into a smile. "It's pretty ironic that I'm the one dying when I was so afraid I would have to be the one to live without you."

"But why?" Ty asked, shakily. He never asked for Kit to protect him, he never wanted for him to give everything up for him. That wasn't what he had wanted.

His mouth twitched, and Ty thought he was trying to laugh. his blue eyes opened for just a moment as he looked up at him and said, "Because there's nothing if you aren't there, Ty."

A shiver went through Ty. He remembered uttering those words to Livvy at the edge of the lake, he remembered Kit's tear streaked face he didn't understand.

Ty felt his throat close up as he tried to process the meaning behind Kit choosing to recite those words back to him.

He had been desperate back then to not lose Livvy, like his desperation now to save Kit. He had meant those words at that moment but he hadn't considered the possibility of losing Kit, a possibility he had to live with.

Ty brushed the hair from Kit's face, keeping his fingers in his curls as he felt his body begin to shake against him. "I didn't mean that. You were there, you mattered, you always mattered," Ty whispered to him.

Kit took a ragged breath, but Ty didn't get a chance to hear what he would have said as he disappeared in his arms.

Ty stared at where Kit had been, his weight suddenly lifted from him and all that was left was the blood left on his hands as the water swirled thick with it around him.

He kept staring at his hands as if Kit would just rematerialize, he just kept staring until something slowly crept it's way into his chest and gripped his heart, holding it still.

Words from a long time ago came back to him as he tried to comprehend.

"Some lights were never meant to burn for long."

It was Ragnor Fell that had told him that, Ty never gave it much thought. He never believed in a predestined fate, especially one like his sister had had.

Ty thought of the light that Kit had, his fury as he fought. The soft light of the moon that poured over him as Kit stood in the ocean and how Ty couldn't help but trying to be closer to him.

Ty felt tears slip past his eyes. He closed his hands into fist, letting his nails bite into his skin until his blood mixed with Kit's.

His mind turned back to when he had woken up for the first time after losing Livvy to find Kit there.

The remaining drugs in his system meant to keep him asleep mixed with his anxiety completely disorienting him.

"Should I stay?" Kit had asked him back then. Ty remembered how tired he looked, slumped against the wall keeping himself far away from Ty or the bed meant for Livvy.

"I would rather you did," Ty had answered, instant relief had calmed his nerves like a new drug had been introduced at seeing him there, where he could reach, where Ty hear could his voice.

By the Angel did Ty wish he would stay now.

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Ash's head was heavy as it lifted towards consciousness. There was a weight in his heart warning him not to wake. But his head and body was aching and the light that filtered through his curtains were pressing hard on his eyelids.

He let himself lay there, sifting through his memories to try to remember how he had gotten back to his bed when the shuffling of footsteps rocked him from his sleep completely.

Ash shot straight up, pulling a knife made from cold iron and holding it out in front of him.

His eyes quickly found his would be victim pulling his linked chain curtains back from his bed to block his attack.

Manuel Villalobos smiled once Ash realized it was him, plucking the knife from Ash's hand and casually throwing it over his shoulder. "Not a morning person I take it."

Ash narrowed his eyes at him, he was wearing regular mundane clothes save for the long black cloak draped over his shoulders.

Manuel was still giving him his friendliest smile as Ash pushed himself off the bed, preferring to be standing instead of lying down with company around him.

Out of all the things Ash had learned to dislike about the Shadowhunter, it was his smile he hated the most. It was friendly, inviting, even a kind smile, and it had no place on Manuel's face.

Manuel had learned to get his way by gaining people's trust and deceiving them, it was that disingenuity that Ash hated even worse than his sadistic tendencies.

When Ash first started trying to integrate the Cohort into his Court it was only Manuel at first who pretended to warm up to the Faey and charm his way into their good graces. The Faeries loved a charmer and took to him immediately, it was likely the alliance was only established thanks to Manuel's charms to convince the Gentry that the rest of the intolerant bigots could be worked with.

Once Manuel was in he started trying to win Ash over. He tried to appeal to Ash's loneliness, use his weakness as a way to elevate himself. It had enraged Ash, only because he feared it might have actually worked if he didn't know Manuel from when they were both in the Unseelie Court, and seen him for what he really was.

"If you come into my room, or any other room I may occupy without my permission I will toss you back into Alicante and leave you there," Ash seethed.

Manuel pretended to frown as he examined his fingernails as if he found something growing under them. "That would be terrible, especially since I wouldn't be able to convince your Gentry or my boring associates to play nice together for you."

Ash scowled. That was the reason he allowed Manuel to work as his ambassador and his advisor, he had made himself too valuable to just dispose of him just yet. But there was another reason Ash kept him around, one he didn't want to admit to himself.

A gentle breeze lifted the purple curtains, waving them like banners. The wind chimed like bells, the soft sound of glass clinking together could be heard on the wind as it was carried from a distance. The room looked warmer then Ash remembered, but despite the sunlight that beamed down in the open room it did nothing to warm him. His gaze fell upon his desk where he had laid his father's sword, and where it had been taken.

His mind recoiled from the memory as he remembered more clearly why he should have stayed asleep.

"Why did you come here?" he asked, unsure of who he was speaking to.

"The Gentry are in an uproar over the prison break," Manuel began. "They're really making a big deal about it. Fortunately for us and unfortunately for them, Janus has stepped in to deal with it."

Ash frowned still staring at the empty desk. The codex laid open where Phaesphoros had been, the wind flipped the pages like an invisible force was standing there. He could almost see Dru there, turning the pages and tried to imagine what she looked like as she read the words that had been meant for people he had never met.

"What do you mean?"

"You know how Janus is, one moment he's staring moodily out a window, and the next he's breaking off people's fingers one by one. He's devised himself a little trial to create a scapegoat for you, lucky you."

Ash let his hand absently trail his chest, his fingers finding the material damp just by his heart. Ash pulled his hand back to see a black liquid clinging to his fingers.

"You don't know what happened, do you?" Manuel watched him.

He turned towards Manuel, his jaw tightening. He couldn't admit to him that he was correct, that Ash had blacked out again and lost all memory from that point on.

Manuel eyebrows flew up as he regarded him with interest. "I see, the Dark Artifices have started to take it's hold on you."

Ash didn't answer, instead he went to his wardrobe and yanked it open, pulling out a dark coat and shrugging it on. He marched for the door, snapping his fingers for Manuel to follow. If Manuel had a problem with being beckoned like a dog, he didn't show it as he found himself by Ash's side.

"Take me to this trial," Ash demanded without looking at him.

"I may have misled you by stating it was a trial. It's more of an execution," he answered cheerily.

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They entered the Room of the Disquieted and Ash was quickly reminded as to why it was named as such. It was the room law was brought down on the Seelie subjects, and as typical the Seelies were far from quiet about the matters that brought them here. It was a small circular room with white benches that surrounded the area for the Gentry to sit, not that they used them from Ash's experience.

A Faey by the name of Torin stood at the center in the middle of the dias, gesturing wildly with his four arms at the other Faeries, trying to regain the situation.

On the other side of where Ash's throne was propped up atop a small set of precarious stairs, was a set of small cages the prisoners from the dungeons had been crammed into. Standing just outside of these cages, but still in chains, was Elsif.

Ash left Manuel and marched over to Jace who was standing at the foot of his throne.

A sudden hush fell over the room at their princes arrival.

Not wanting his conversation to be heard by everyone, he motioned for Torin to distract the audience.

Torin noticed his gestures, and with a deep sigh he turned back to the Gentry he had been trying to calm down and said, "Our prince wishes not for your prying ears! Entertain your dullsome selves!"

There were a few curious stares but the conversation immediately picked up. Torin folded his many arms as he watched them carry on, dreading having to calm them down again.

Ash rounded on Jace as soon as the commotion picked up again. "What is the meaning of this?"

Jace gave him an affectionate smile that didn't match the situation at all, "you might have heard but there was a prison break."

"I'm being serious, Jace."

The warmth left his face immediately, and his eyes turned to a hard metal. "I'm also being serious. Our two most valuable prisoners escaped, we no longer have the upper hand on the Unseelie King. If Sammael finds out we lost our advantage he will take it on you."

"Where is Sammael?" Ash asked more quietly, a chill crawled it's way up his back the way it did whenever he mentioned the Greater Demon. He hated it when he was here, but whenever he left on his own it was always unnerving.

"Gone, for now," was all Jace said. Ash couldn't help getting that feeling again that he was keeping things from him but tried to push it away.

If he didn't have Jace, he didn't have anyone.

Ash glanced over at Elsif standing chained to the bars of one of the cages, and remembered what Manuel had told him. "I'm not executing Elsif."

Jace put a hand on his shoulder but the brief comfort Ash felt quickly passed as Jace continued.

"You won't, because I will."

"Jace you can't-"

Jace's gaze was cold when he turned it back on him, and Ash was unsure if he was seeing him or not. "He has failed you time after time, don't pretend you haven't been protecting him, I know you have."

Ash swallowed hard. He had thought he hadn't noticed, that he had saved Elisf but as it turned out nothing he had done mattered.

"And I know about the girl whose picture you keep. The prisoners have told me she was the one who freed them."

He felt those words like a slap, and looked away. Another thing he thought he had kept to himself that was never his.

"You let her use you, Ash, and this is the price. It's either you or him, and I won't let it be you."

Ash felt shame and guilt slowly make its way to his core, but it was shaken away as Jace made to move to get Elsif.

Ash grabbed his arm to pull him back. "Jace, please. There's another way, we can exile him or another punishment!"

Jace gave him a pitying look. "He's a liability alive, I'm sorry, Ash. This is the way it has to be."

His words were final, but Ash tightened his grip on his arm. Jace had to listen to him. "I don't want you to do this," he pleaded for him to understand. "Please just listen to me!"

Jace roughly pulled his arm from his grasp, knocking him back. "This is how it has to be, Ash, I can't waste anymore time trying to make you understand that."

Ash gaped at him as he walked away feeling helpless in his own palace, in his own kingdom where he was supposed to be the one to rule.

Instinctively Ash wanted to use his powers to make Jace listen. But it was Jace, he couldn't do that, after he spent years subservient to Sebastian's desires. He had promised it to himself and to Jace that he would never do that to him.

His guilt turned into a familiar numbness as he watched Jace bring Elsif to the center of the dias and push him to his knees. Elsif's eyes were wide with fear, but he kept his mouth a thin tight line and held his chin up as he looked up at the Gentry that looked coldly down on him.

Panic warred against the numbness that had tried to spread. He should do something, he wanted to do something.

He followed Elsif's gaze and with a jolt his eyes fell on Nealon, a Faerie warrior who had been close with Elsif before he had been punished and bound to the palace for his mistake.

Nealon's gaze lifted to find Ash, and shook his head just barely.

Ash wasn't sure if it had even happened, but he held his gaze with an intense stare that froze him to the spot.

The numbness finally found it's hold, falling over him like a death shroud as he watched the proceedings, separating him from the living and easily sliding back into that state of distance he had crafted for himself when he was with his father.

Jace stood over Elsif, welding Heosphoros. "What do you have to say to your people that have witnessed your crimes here today?"

Elsif's eyes didn't leave Nealon, and after a moment he looked away from Ash to return it. "I may be put to death to pay for the crime I undoubtedly committed. But neither in heart or spirit have I betrayed Faerie or my King," he glanced behind him to look at Ash.

He was taken over by a sense of surrealness as he met Elsif's eyes, that this was really happening, that he had no power to stop it when had carefully built up his own lie that he had power, and worst of all that it was Jace that was willingly hurt him.

Ash felt his words shake him at the same time that Jace brought down Heosphoros in one swift motion.

Even before Heosphoros met it's mark a small voice of disbelief tried to tell him that Jace would pull his swing, he would stop at any moment. This was the Jace who had told him he never wanted to hurt him, he wouldn't do this to him.

He wouldn't-

Ash didn't look away as his body crumpled to the floor, his long red hair trailing behind his severed head.

The Court, the execution and the Gentry refocused into something smaller as his mind forced him from his own body.

Only now that he was safe to contemplate everything from a safe distance could see what was really happening.

Nothing had changed, he realized as he watched the scene in front of him. He was still just a spectator in his own life. The control he tried to exert over his lie was just a lie.

He had only been masquerading as a prince while underneath he had been made into a puppet. The biggest pawn on the chess board.

Ash watched as Jace sheathed his sword, still looming over the body he had just made.

Hate as hot a cold flames boiled within him as he watched him callously walk away, unaware of what he had just done.

Nothing had changed.

Distantly, Ash could hear the clink of metal clasps releasing and the heavy clang as Elsif's metal bands fell to the floor.

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Kit slowly opened his eyes to find himself sitting in a chair completely soaking wet and aching all over.

"If I knew you would be soaping wet everywhere I would have demanded they sent you through a steamer first before sending you to me," a woman said.

Kit looked up to find her sitting across from him at a small table. She was wearing a cloak with a long hood draped over herself obscuring her eyes. The rest of her face was covered by a white mask.

"Sorry, I didn't exactly get an invitation ahead of time," his voice sounded scratchy as he talked. He pulled himself to sit up at the small wooden table in front of them.

"That is because an invitation you can refuse, but no one refuses a summons, boy."

Kit looked over to the tall window he was sat next to and felt a sense of vertigo as he peered through, looking down at the city below them. They appeared to be in a tall tower, with stairs running up the walls leading to this room at the very top. Kit thought he remembered seeing it before but he couldn't remember in what district.

"We are at Lyonesses very own Tower of Babel, so to speak, if you are wondering," she informed him.

"Why do you say that?" He asked, leaning back in his chair.

"It was created as a way to test the limits of the protective barrier around Lyonesse. The people decided to construct a large tower hoping to reach the surface. However, the air became scarcer the higher they went, and they began feeling stretched as if they were thinning the barrier itself. Afraid they may break and drown them all with anymore strain, they decided to cease construction.

First the tree and now the tower, Kit wondered how many other attempts they made to escape that failed. Not that he could blame them for trying.

She waved a gloved hand and a Faerie carrying a gold tray with two jeweled goblets walked into the room, sitting it down in front of them.

Kit recognized the cook from earlier, but this time she wasn't staring at him.

"Thank you, Licke, now leave," the woman briskly commanded.

"Of course Ma'am," The plump Faerie gave a short bow, her white bonnet almost falling off her head as she tried to scuttle away.

Kit peered into the goblet placed in front of him. "Okay, what is this poison? I'm telling you now that I know better than to drink the Kool aid."

Kit couldn't tell because of her mask, the mouth of it was a slim smile not even wide enough to show her teeth, but he imagined she was making a face.

"Aren't you just charming."

"I've been told I'm the belle of the ball," Kit said sarcastically.

Her head tilted downwards as if she wanted a better look at him. "To play up someone else with sarcasm is either an admission of you own low wit or a cry for validation. Which one is it?"

Kit put the cup down he had been examining and sat back in his chair with his arms folded, "the second one, validate me." He challenged.

"We will see how deserving of validation you truly are, prince, after we drink," She motioned towards the goblets. "These are the two Cups of Lyonesse. It is a pair made to test a couple before their union day. You see, once you drink from the cup you will be compelled to tell the truth and your partner will reflect the ugliness or the beauty of your heart." She laughed at the face Kit made. "You do not seem confident in your moral character."

"Morality wasn't exactly one of the building blocks of my childhood." Kit said, looking at the goblet with renewed hesitance.

"They call me the Loathly Lady, you may draw whatever conclusions you wish about me from that." She chuckled.

"At least this seems low stakes compared to the last two trials." Kit started before remembering Ty.

Kit tried to stand up before doubling over in pain from his side.

The Loathly Lady held up a hand to halt him. "Your companion is fine, if that is what you are so worried about. He at least was intelligent enough to solve the problem, unlike our once and future prince," he imagined the mask sneering at him, " and returned you two with the staff."

Kit halfway collapsed back into his chair. "I..was dying." He remembered the blood on his skin and the tears that ran down Ty's face.

He remembered what he had said.

"Did you heal me?"

"Goodness no! And ruin the King's blood sport? I certainly thought you were sure to die but your body began repairing itself quite spectacularly. I merely sat and waited for the outcome."

"I think I'm starting to get behind that name for you," he said, unwrapping his side to look at where he had been punctured. It was an ugly gash, crusted and scabbed over, but it wasn't bleeding at least. Kit pulled out his steled and traced an Iratze.

"I was an Edom, how was that possible?" Kit questioned, he could still taste the ash that had tried to choke him, and see the sky that looked like poison.

The Loathly Lady folded her hands together and leaned on the table as she considered what he said. "That is interesting.." she paused, and Kit got the distinct feeling she knew far more than she was willing to tell him. "The staff was made from the Crann Bethadh, carved with magic in hopes it would bring out the tree's latent powers. It is known that it has the power to see into other worlds, but there may be more yet to be discovered."

Kit raised an eyebrow at her answer, "You could just say your not going to answer and save some time for the both of us."

She gave a disgruntled sigh. "Fine, there are many things you have yet to discover, Christopher Herondale, but I am not here to answer them. On the contrary you are here to answer me."

Kit watched as she placed a gloved had on the neck of the goblet, holding it as delicately as if it were a flower. No skin was showing and there was no telling from her voice just how old she was, all of this made it harder for Kit to gauge her. But one thing it did tell him was that she didn't want to be gauged.

"So what's the catch for this trial? The drink gives me liver failure, or I can eat nothing but carrots from now on?"

"I see you may be more clever than you pretend. As I said my appearance will change depending on your hearts answer. I may become a beautiful woman or a monster that will rip out your throat."

"Sounds pretty standard," Kit muttered, picking up his goblet. At least he understood the reason for all the secrecy now. If he could watch her change he would know how to answer. He also knew that it was more than that, taking away Kit's ability to read tipped the balance of power in her direction. And that was exactly what they wanted, to throw him off and the complete mercy of his judge and prosecutor.

"Then let us begin," She pressed the lip of the goblet to her mask and began to drink without any trouble.

"Alright, but if there is any hint of grape flavor I'm spitting it back out."

He didn't have to worry about hypothetical poisonings, however. The liquid passed down his throat without issue, as far as he could tell it looked and tasted just like water. He felt nothing after drinking it and wondered if maybe they had gotten the wrong cups, before instantly feeling stupid that he fell for it.

She was wearing a disguise, but he wasn't. His cup was enchanted but her cup must have been a fraud, or maybe there was never a second cup to begin with.

The woman didn't waste any time and as soon as the goblet was taken from his lips she began her questions. "What do you think of the Nephilim?"

It was a loaded question to open on that he wasn't prepared for, and one Kit still had never been able to completely reconcile with his previous judgment of them. He wanted to think about the question, but as soon as it was asked, he felt his throat start to collapse and the words funneled from his lungs.

"Most of them are self righteous morons, but not all of them, some of them believe in what they're doing, for better or worse. I don't know, I think there getting better, I think they want to be better." He blurted out.

"And that is enough for you? To slay on command or arrest another because they desire to be better than what they currently are?" Her voice was drenched in skepticism.

"Um, demon fighting is also a pretty cool job," he added automatically.

"An honest answer, there is no doubt," she said. "Though it has much to be desired."

"Hey, what do you want from me? You try thinking your mundane your entire life, then a Shadowhunter, then a Faerie prince in the span of a month and tell me your ideology isn't compromised in the slightest."

"Shall I pretend to be a whiny brat without a mind of his own next as well? Clever you may be but it seems you are reluctant to use that pretty blonde head of yours to think of anything."

He couldn't help but add bitterly, "wasted potential is literally my legacy. I would hate to disappoint my great-great grandmother and grandfather who tried so hard to ensure I would be a nobody," even though he knew he was just proving her point.

Kit could tell by her body language that she wasn't impressed.

"I hope your quick tongue isn't compensating for a slow mind...or other things," She tilted her head in his downward direction.

Kit flushed, "The only thing my defensive wit is compensating for is the lack of hugs I received in my childhood."

"As tiring as the sad orphan routine is getting, I can appreciate a man starved for attention. I may like you yet," she said, to Kit's discomfort who did not like the way she said that. "So, if I were to ask you to judge a man down on his luck, berated by his wife and worn down to exhaustion by his small babe. If that man were to leave one day and never return to find his true happiness, would you say he was a terrible father?"

Kit blinked at the strange question but answered without hesitation. "That is practically the definition of a terrible father, yes."

The Loathly Lady didn't seem as convinced, he almost imagined the mask frowning. "Even though he could hardly do as a man should and provide? Even if staying would mean to live in misery with his hag wife and snotty brat?"

"Unless he got really lost on his way back from getting cigarettes, then yes. He doesn't have to live with them to not abandon them. Besides, it's probably his fault anyway, he probably lost all of his money on cards or something." Kit answered. Considering Johnny wasn't what anyone would consider a good parent, and even he didn't abandon Kit, and Kit had crazy scary Faerie assassins after him, he couldn't really give this hypothetical father the same benefit when all it sounded like he really needed was stronger coffee and better financing habits.

She waved a hand dismissively. "The broken ones always take the brats side."

Kit narrowed his gaze at her, wishing he could distinguish how her features were changing. So far he definitely wasn't impressing her with his answers, but that didn't tell him if that meant she was turning into a monster or not.

"What of the young wife who wants nothing but a home full of children and finds herself with a husband who lacks the capability. He is kind and caring, and very devoted except while in bed, but withheld that important information knowing such a beautiful young thing like her would have many other suitors vying for her affections. What would you make of that woman if she were to betray her wedding vows for passion and the possibility of a child that she so desired?"

This was obviously a more complicated question, but before he could mull it over he felt the answer being pulled from deep within himself and he was speaking before he even knew what he would say. "I don't think he could love her very much if he lied to her about something so important, and she definitely won't love him for much longer. I don't know what he expected would happen."
The hood from the woman's cloak dropped further down her head until only her smile was visible. "So you agree that her behavior is acceptable?"
Kit was surprised at his answer, expecting himself to just suggest marriage counseling or something more moderate. But as it turned out his heart thought it was much simpler than that. "I'm not saying it's right, just that it sounds inevitable."

"Quite pessimistic, but I will agree with you. Flesh yearns for flesh, that is the simple truth of it. And to deny a woman young and ripe of that passion while she is still fresh is a cruel thing."

Kit frowned. "Now your making it sound like I agreed with you because I'm okay with adultery, which I will reiterate that I'm not. I just know how people work," he pointed out.

That was great, he lamented, the one time she agreed with him she had completely corrupted what he had said. He might be imagining it, but he thought her fingers were getting longer, like claws. Now that he thought about it, her voice also sounded huskier too.

"And here I thought you couldn't see past your own inflated ego and now your telling me you can see your feet on the ground after all," she sneered, interrupting his intense staring. "And how would you choose to deal with a corrupt politician, enforcing cruel legislation on his subjects for his own benefit?"

Kit scoffed, "bribe him. He's a politician, just make it more beneficial to go along with what you want, if that doesn't work just set him up," he shrugged.

She tilted her head as if to examine him, Kit thought he saw the glimpse of a brown eye through a hole in the mask, or maybe that was fur. "No righteous speech on the corrupt or call to arms? No swords or daggers in the dark or how the good will always win?"

His next answer came out in a rush. "That's not how the world actually works, the side of good will never definitively win. It's a simpler solution, and it's smarter. No one is going to be impressed if I just stab the guy in an alley or something, that would be stupid." Kit bit his tongue to shut himself up, but it was too late, the damage was already done.

She gave a laugh at that, the smile on the mask never moving as her body shook. "So it is the validation you seek?"

He felt the truth being pried from him as he fought to keep it locked inside, but it was a lost cause. "Yes, I want the attention. Even though I pretend I don't, even though I hate it I'm still trying to impress everyone. Who cares at the end of the day how fast you can pick a lock or how many demons you slayed if no one else cares? If no one else ever looks at you, if you never earn anyones love then why does it matter if your alive?" He spat out.

"That contextualizes your answers greatly," she concluded.

Kit was too ashamed to do anything but glare at her.

Maybe it did contextualize his answers, he had always been afraid he was a lot easier to figure out then he pretended. He had never exactly been a mystery, except maybe to the people who just didn't care.

"So then let me ask you, if it is validation and adoration you seek above all else, then why are you so reluctant to be king?"

"Because it's not my choice," he started saying, not even bothering to deny what was obvious. "Nothing in my life has been my choice, I'm not becoming King because I want to be or the people even want me. The first time in my life I felt like I could actually have a family with people who love me and choose my own path and something else is forced on me."

The Loathly Lady considered him, "there is one who would still take you, your companion is reluctant to leave you. But I take it you would not have him now."

His stomach gave a fearful lurch at the mention of Ty, but he could hardly argue with the Cup's drink still influencing him.

"Not now, you know the rules of the Unseelie's and humans. They're just playthings to most of them. If Kieran who was a king they actually liked didn't feel like he could protect his lovers, I don't have any hope of protecting him." The words were torn out of him, leaving his throat raw like it had been rubbed down with sandpaper. It was almost torturous to try to avoid answering a question, but his first instinct when it came to Ty was to fight.

Even if he didn't know what he was fighting.

She tapped the table with her long gloved fingers, "And it is so much easier to pretend no one wants you rather than to face the real truth."

It was a splash of cold water that awoke him to the truth. He would have been speechless in another circumstance, but instead the answer came from deep within himself, an answer he had been subconsciously avoiding. "Yes, it is."

He was horrified at himself to even realize she had moved on to the next question at first.

But she wasn't interested in his personal emotional breakthroughs and just continued on while Kit stared shell shocked at himself trying to unpack what all of that meant.

"Lastly, somewhere a loyal subject of a King has suddenly betrayed him. The King must make the difficult choice of deciding to execute him or not. What would you do as King?"

He didn't even care about answering, he was too busy being convinced that she really would turn into a monster and eat him.

He really was the worst kind of person, he wasn't brave or smart, not even cunning or prejudiced, he was just a coward.

But the question wouldn't allow him to sit in self pity. It dug around in his heart pulling at feelings and emotions in a desperation to force out an answer, but he couldn't find one. The question just didn't make sense.

"The other questions had more to go on then that, how am I supposed to make a decision based on that?" He demanded.

"A King's job is to make the hard decisions, he does not always get to know the reasons."

"Then I choose a trial until I can decide."

The woman was clearly irritated and dismissed this, "that is not an option, stay your blade or execute, which one is it?"

"That's not a fair question," Kit argued back, "no one can make a good decision based just on that."

She rose to her feet, her voice raised in frustration as she placed both of her hands on the table. "Life isn't fair child, you will not always have all the answers you like."

"What King makes decisions without any answers?" He raised his voice.

"Your ancestors, your cousins, uncles, brothers and sisters!" She seethed. The room around them seemed to darken, her white mask flashing as she spoke. "A King is the martyr for their kingdoms decisions, that is your blood duty! No matter the choice you will make mistakes and you will pay for them. Now choose!"

"No, I won't execute," Kit answered, startled at the sharp turn in intensity.

She took a long breath to compose herself and sat back down. "I would advise you that mercy is a weakness when it is just a disguise for indecisiveness."

"Yeah, well someone who executes someone just for control or to keep up pretenses is a coward," Kit shot back.

"Well, it is your answer and now it is time to see the results," she said, placing her hand on her mask.

The shadows playing on the white mask reminded Kit of the Greek theater comedy and tragedy masks, leering at him as she threatened to take it off.

She wasn't waiting around for Kit's permission and pulled it off, letting the cloak fall from her head, exposing waves of white blonde hair.

She was a woman in her thirties, with deep melancholic eyes. She had a slightly bigger nose, and a dimple on the side of her mouth that leaned slightly to the side with a white scar that ran along her cheek. Over all though, despite her flaws Kit thought she was pretty.

"So does this mean I pass and your not going to rip out my insides?"

She gave him a wry smile, and it transformed her face in a way that almost erased her flaws. Kit wondered if anyone had ever thought his smile was like that.

"It would appear so, not that I see the grace or beauty in your answers myself."

Kit let out a long breath, "I can tell, I thought I was failing."

She laughed, "I'm just the questioner, boy, not the one to pass judgment."

Kit blinked, "That's all the trials then, I'm king," he was sobering up from his relief at succeeding.

She picked up her mask, admiring it as she told him, "I've been instructed to inform you that upon your success you will be taken to the King's stone and inaugurated tomorrow. I suppose you will want to make the best of tonight with your companion while you still can."

"Yes," the answer clawed itself out of him. Kit grasped his throat in sudden terror at the realization the effects hadn't worn off yet. "When does this wear of?" He demanded.

She gave him a smile that was as knowing as much as it was mischievous. It was a smile very similar to the one Kit remembered his father often wearing.

"All in due time, though I may remind you that time is a fickle thing in Faerie," her smile widened at the panic on his face. "Spend your last night as a prince without a throne wisely. For tonight at least, you have a few choices to make for yourself."

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Kit had made his way through Lyonesse. A strange moonlight found it's way past the waves of water and the distance from the surface just to remind him that it was night. The sea was darker in a more somber way, dolphins and sea turtles still swept past, but the citizens of Lyonesse were mostly asleep, save for the few pockets of faeries softly playing instruments to the distant moon, or embracing their own privacy in their gardens to dance, or count schools of fish like they were stars.

Kit had found a boat to carry him through the rivers to the furthest and most secluded looking distract he could find to get lost in until he stumbled upon an empty amphitheater.

He found it in the middle of the heavy fog that ran like rivers through the forest. There was hardly even a footpath leading to it, and the building itself was of old crumbling stone that looked overgrown by the plants that surrounded it. That didn't mean it was out of use, for all Kit knew this could be how Faeries preferred their stages to be.

As if to answer that question, lanterns hanging up by hooks on the tall balconies lit up as soon as he took a step inside. Fireflies suddenly came to life, adding another moving light along with the light from the moon that danced on the water above him. It was strange to look up expecting to see a night sky only to see instead a sky that moved like fine threads with floating figures gliding along it. Looking up at that, he could almost convince himself he was in his own hidden world, a secret from everyone else.

Kit tried to keep up the mysticism as he looked at where he was, and revel in this strange beautiful place. But the reality of this night was pressing on him as heavy as the ocean above his head, and he was afraid of what would happen when it finally came crashing down on him.

For now he was alone, even if it felt like Faey would start wondering into the seats around him to perform a midnight theater.

But the solitude didn't last as Kit knew it wouldn't.

A figure appeared from the fog, drifting into the amphitheatre like an apparition conjured by magic.

His breath caught when he saw her.

"Livvy, it's you isn't it?"

He had seen her a few times with Ty, but there was something wrong with her then, like a faded imprint on the world that was slowly being erased.

He could tell as she looked at him that she recognized him now. She smiled a little sadly as she said, "you've grown up."

Kit's tongue twisted at her words because she was still the same fifteen year old girl he knew three years ago, but he didn't want to be the one to say that.

Her smile lightened. "You can say I haven't aged a day, it's true."

Kit wished he could smile back at her, but everything that was weighing on him now made that feel impossible.

"I'm sorry," he said lamely.

She folded her arms and frowned. "You should be, because I may not be able to change at all, but you can, you have. But your still acting like when we were fifteen."

"Not exactly like when we were fifteen," he mumbled because he was unable to lie.

Livvy hovered towards him looking annoyed. She had that same exact expression that she had when she confronted him outside Hypatia's shop. "You are, I would know because I can't change. I don't even know if I can mature or if I'm stuck exactly as I was."

"Maybe I'm still acting this way because things haven't changed as much as you think they have," Kit shot bitterly. An unexpected reflex he immediately regretted.

"No, they haven't," she said softly. "That's what you don't get."

He didn't know what to say to that. He expected Livvy might be mad at him when he did see her again, but not for this reason.

She sighed, "He's looking for you, and you can't keep running from him."

Kit looked around them, they were still alone for now. But he didn't want Ty to find him until the potion had finally worn off, that was why he went all the way out here. "Actually, I can. And I should before things get worse than they already are." he looked back at Livvy. "Livvy, I'm sorry, but I never lead Ty on about how I felt, but I won't let him stay here. And yes, I know what I'm saying will hurt him. But there's no choice anymore."

She shook her head, she looked like she was trying to keep herself from crying. Her bleached out figure matched perfectly with the monochrome background around them like she had always belonged here. But Kit remembered when she burned with life, radiating her energy around her, she was like the sun that beamed down on the beaches of L.A. warming up everyone around her.

"I know you think your doing this for Dru," she said, taking Kit aback. "I know she sacrificed herself for you. So, I'm telling you this so what my little sister did wasn't in vain, it's the only thing I can do for her." She continued with determination, and Kit had known her well enough to know that she was really fighting back to say all of this, and how much it must have killed her to know Dru was in danger and she could do nothing.

"She did it to protect Ty, because she didn't want him to lose another person. She knows how much you mean to him. If you let him go with nothing now then what she did was for nothing."

Her words hit him like a blow he couldn't make sense out of. How could she possibly have decided that Ty would have rather had Kit then her?

"Don't tell me that," he snapped, surprising the both of them, "because what your telling me is that no matter what I do, Ty is going to hurt because of me, if I leave or stay it's all the same? I know I've only ever messed things up, but I was trying! " He broke in frustration.

"If it's all the same no matter what, then stay with my brother, because I can't. I never should have come back to begin with, we both know that."

Kit flinched at the words. But she was watching the fireflies that few around completely oblivious as she pretended to cup one in her hands.

"Ty said there was something wrong with me. I can't really explain how I know it, but I think when we leave this place, I will really be gone." She sounded more tired then sad, but the sadness he did see he suspected wasn't for herself.

Before Kit could think of something to reply with, even though all he could think of was more pathetic apologies, Livvy suddenly turned her head to the entrance of the theater.

"I'm going to leave you both alone for awhile. Remember what I said, Kit."

Her form began to dissipate like she was being absolved into the fog that surrounded them.

Before she was gone Kit couldn't help but calling for her. "I'm sorry, Livvy, I'm so sorry."

She just rolled her eyes and smiled, then she was gone. Kit hoped she understood what he was apologizing for this time.

It only dawned on him after she left that if what she had told him was true, he might have just wasted the only chance he had to talk to her again. Not that there was anything more to say, he was ashamed to talk about what he had done, and Livvy might not be as forgiving as Dru had been, he wouldn't blame her. In fact he kind of wished someone would hold him responsible.

There was only the sound of crickets and Ty's footsteps as he made his way into the theater.

Kit closed his eyes and counted them like a countdown to his life.

Ty didn't bother calling out for him as he stepped out of the fog, already knowing where he was because of the tracking rune.

Kit watched him with a sort of fascination. Livvy may not have been suited to the scenery, at least not when she was alive, but Ty looked as though someone had taken the mist from the air and stolen the moonlight and night sky to transfigured it into a person.

Ty seemed oblivious to his sister's previous presence as he entered the amphitheater. He didn't look around for her, instead his eyes remained locked on Kit. He was examining him closely, every inch of him with that thoughtful look like he wanted to know every part of him in the same way that had never failed to make Kit's heart stutter.

Kit didn't move away even though he had been avoiding him, just stared as he walked up the stone steps and joined him on the stage.

He stopped short, just in front of him and gave him a quizzical look, like Kit was a problem he just couldn't make sense out of. "Where did you go?"

"To one of the towers for the last trial," he looked in the direction of where it was, not that they could see it through the trees and fog.

Ty didn't follow his gaze. He didn't ask about the trial either, but asked instead, "why did you come here afterwards?"

"Because I was avoiding you," he was forced to say.

He flinched, bringing his hands up as if to defend himself. "Is it because of what I said, that I would bring you back?" He asked anxiously.

Kit had almost forgotten with everything that had happened. "No, but Ty you promised you would never do necromancy again, you promised me."

Ty didn't answer right away which immediately put Kit on edge.

"I didn't think I would ever want to. But when I thought you were dying all I could think about was saving you." He made a face as he spoke that reminded Kit too much of the talk he just had with Livvy.

"I meant what I said, Ty. Don't do that, not for me, not for anyone."

Ty looked at him suddenly with wide eyes, that looked almost like his siblings blue green eyes from the sea that was reflected in them. "If you meant everything you said then why do you keep leaving me behind?" He asked with such heartbreaking honesty it almost made Kit break down then and there.

Kit held back answering as long as he could, spinning around to walk further down the stage away from him. Ty didn't follow after, just waited were he was.

He knew he could teleport somewhere else, or lock himself in his room but now that Ty was here how he could bring himself to just walk away? The last time he had walked away from Tiberius Blackthorn was the biggest mistake of his life.

He tried to breathe but the words he didn't want to say were bubbling up within him until they finally burst."I don't want to," the words sounded strangled as he tried to hold them back. "I've just-I wanted to be whatever you needed, whatever you wanted me to be, and I don't know if you ever needed me at all." Kit was ready to gag himself until he heard what Ty said next.

Ty's voice was quiet when he finally answered, "I meant what I said when I told you I needed you."

Kit turned back to look at him, and hoped that it was too dark for Ty to see the tears that were stinging his eyes. All this time that was all he needed to hear from him, even if he didn't love him, he would settle for just being wanted. He didn't even care about being loved back anymore as long as he was wanted,in anyway he might have wanted him, all he needed was to hear the words.

Of course things were different now.

"If you stay in Faerie you might not ever see your siblings again, a century could pass as a day here for us." He told him. "Even if that wasn't a problem, I'm going to be the Unseelie King, the Faeries will get the wrong impression if you stay with me, and you won't be safe here."

Ty studied his face, when he spoke, his voice was low and even. "You mean they will think we're lovers."

Kit was light headed at those words, and sick with a feverish regret that he didn't leave when he had the chance. He looked out at the empty theater around them and felt the sadistic part of him laugh at how fitting it was.

Here they were standing on a stage like they were playing their roles in a well rehearsed play; a part they both knew all too well. Their own little tragedy that had all the hallmarks of a great comedy. Irony, timing, misunderstandings, and the recurring joke was Kit himself.

He felt his mouth go dry. "If they don't already, then they will."

There was more than that, the unease he felt inside himself that had been building since they came to Faerie, that real feeling that kept warning that something was wrong.

Ty made to move forward and say something but Kit interrupted him.

"Don't ask me anything else Ty, I swallowed a truth serum in the last trial. Don't force me to say anything else, especially if it's something you already know the answer to," he rushed.

Ty stopped, closing his mouth. If it had been anyone else Kit would never have dared to tell them he was under the influence of something, never mind a truth serum. But he knew Ty would never force him to say something he didn't want to.

Ty let out a long breath, "I won't ask you anything, I'm going to tell you something else instead."

He paused, waiting to see if Kit would try to stop him, when Kit continued to look past him, he continued. "I should have told you this sooner, I understand why you didn't know how I felt because I haven't told you. I just didn't want to risk losing you again."

He was rambling, dragging out whatever he was saying. It was so unlike Ty who was always chaste with his words, preferring not to waste them, that Kit looked over at him in concern.

"I shouldn't have assumed you knew how I felt... that I was in love with you. I never wanted you to leave, and it's why I can't leave you now. I know my family will be fine without me, but I want to be with you because I know things will be fine if we are together." He paused biting his lip trying to decipher what the shocked expression on Kit's face meant. "You don't have to reciprocate, I just wanted you to know what it means to stay with you, and what it means for me to leave," he added quickly.

Kit brain came to a screeching halt. Reality tilted on his head as he replayed the words he was sure he misheard again. He was expecting to wake up, or to discover he was in another parallel world like Edom or Thule. Or maybe he was still in some kind of twisted trial after all.

But Ty couldn't have meant what he was saying, not about this, not about him.

Ty didn't want him, not like that. If Kit knew anything it was that one fact he wish he didn't.

"I don't understand," was all he could say.

Ty looked over at him, daring to walk towards him. Kit was rooted in place as he watched him draw nearer. "I don't understand how you couldn't," Ty spoke in a hushed voice.

Ty was right in front of him, and now Kit felt like he was the one who couldn't breathe. "But I told you how I felt. I told you that I loved you at lake Lynn.." he started as the realization finally dawned on him.

Ty looked alarmed at this. "No, you said you loved me because I was your friend and you were scared for me. There a several different types of love, I just thought…"

He was right, this was a comedy.

Of course Ty didn't know what he had meant, how could he when Kit didn't even realize it himself until after the fact. Ty didn't say anything back because Ty think those types of things needed to be said back, they were obvious, a given.

He had gotten everything wrong.

Kit was brought back to the present as Ty started to speak, breaking the awkward silence around them.

"You meant you were in love with me, are you still?" His voice was still lovely and deep but with an inflection of self consciousness Kit hadn't heard from him before.

Kit looked at him in complete astonishment, admiring everything about him. Ty pushed back his dark hair, revealing more of his elegant face as he waited for Kit to answer. Ty had always been brave but only now did Kit know exactly why. He could never stand there and face the truth like he did, even when it was hard Ty always faced it unflinchingly. Kit had drank a truth serum and he still could hardly bear it.

"I thought you weren't going to ask me a question," Kit said.

Ty recoiled immediately at his mistake, but Kit smiled to reassure him. He didn't need the Cup to force him to say this. "All I've ever wanted was you, Ty, I loved you more than I've loved anything and I know how messed up that sounds when I say including myself." Kit laughed at himself as he said, "I just can't believe you could see everything else but that."

Ty looked slightly abashed as he said, "There's plenty even I miss, especially about you."

Kit reached for his hand and Ty let him take it. A slow wonderment was taking over him as he marveled at Ty's hand in his and the words they just said. "They funny thing is, I think your the first person who looked at me and just saw me."

It was something that just dawned on him now as Ty was acknowledging him in a whole new way Kit never would have believed before. All that time Kit thought he was looking for attention or just acknowledgment when he was younger, but that wasn't really it, he wanted someone to acknowledge him. Not Johnny Rook's son, not the Lost Herondale or the First Heir, but Kit, just Kit.

Slowly, Kit drew him closer until he found himself tightly wound around him. He pressed his cheek against his and squeezed him even tighter as if he would lose him when they let go. Kit couldn't believe it still, but if this was a dream he wasn't going to waste it. Even if he woke one day to find Ty gone he would have this, the words Ty had said would be in his mind forever, softly playing on his darkest nights.

"I love you in every way someone could love someone," Kit whispered to him. "No time or magic could ever change how I feel about you, Tiberius Blackthorn."

Ty sighed, bringing his hand to rest at the nape of Kit's neck. "I never thought I could feel like this, like the way I feel about you."

Kit could feel the pounding of Ty's heart, both of them pounding together. It was like a small burn that Kit couldn't get enough of, wishing he could breath Ty in.

He could hardly believe that he was the one to make Ty fall in love, it was surreal, almost ridiculous that whatever Ty had found him was enough.

It was enough to make Kit honestly thank God for the first time for making him exactly as he was, all of his stupid flaws and self counciousness aside.

He knew as he felt Ty's chest rise and fall, his hands in his hair and the completeness with how he held him that this was real.

Kit drew back, his face still close to Ty's while his arms were still wrapped around him. His breath caught as he saw the way Ty was looking at him, a mix of softness and urgency.

He knew what he wanted to do next, but Ty was far too important to just act on impulse.

"You can kiss me, if you want," Ty's entire face reddened as he said it, letting his bangs fall in his eyes as he looked away.

Kit's heart kicked into overdrive, he was pretty sure if he tried to speak it would come out as a strangled squeak. He never thought he would actually kiss Ty, but he wanted to so desperately he ached with the sudden need to.

Instead of answering, he inched closer until Ty tilted his head up to meet him. His eyes were already closed and if Kit wasn't careful he would get distracted just looking at him. Kit was so nervous he almost backed out entirely. He had kissed people before, but none of that really mattered because it wasn't Ty. Somehow, getting this right felt like the most important thing Kit would ever do, and he was shaking at just the thought of messing it up as if he had never so much as touched another person before.

But Ty's hand slipped down between his shoulders to pull him in, and somehow all of Kit's self consciousness faded away.

Their lips met and a feeling like Kit and something shot through him like an arrow of coursing electricity. It was obvious Ty had never kissed anyone before as he let Kit take the lead, but just like when they danced they found a rhythm just for them.

Kit's head was swimming, the feeling of Ty's lips on his was enough to make him feel high, he would never come down again, and if he did the fall would surely break him. He tasted of something sweet, and something about the way Ty held him and how his mouth moved against his made Kit feel whole, like this was how they had always belonged.

They were meant to be this.

For a moment Kit believed in fate, everything had led to this. His destiny wasn't to become some Faerie prince or even a Shadowhunter, this was what he was made for. It was no accident Ty had found him in that basement years ago, it was just the beginning of this, of where he belonged.

Ty's hands moved up and down his body, constantly exploring, pulling him closer when he wanted him and grasping him when he was moved by a sensation. Kit felt his movements like a trail of heat slowly setting him on fire with every new touch.

There was nothing else around them, and nothing else mattered. How could it when Kit had Ty in his arms, pulling each other closer until they were interwoven into each other?

Ty pulled away first gasping for air, and Kit thought his heart would shatter into pieces at the sound of Ty breathless for him.

Ty leaned in again, brushing his nose against Kit's. Kit didn't think his heart could jump any higher yet somehow it did.

A sudden sense of foreboding that he couldn't explain hit him in the stomach, turning it sour, and his heart plummeted from the heights it had soared.

He hastily broke away from Ty, taking a few steps away from him.

"What's wrong?" Ty asked in alarm.

Kit felt someone else speak for him as words seemed to come from somewhere very far away. "We shouldn't be doing this, not right now."

He hated the look of hurt on Ty's face as he said, "I don't..understand."

"I don't either," Kit tried to explain, "I just feel like there's something wrong. I know there's something wrong."

His eyebrows knitted together as he tried to understand what Kit was saying. "But what is wrong?"

"I don't know," Kit admitted, "just something."

"That doesn't make any sense," Ty shook his head, suddenly self consciously he asked, "was it bad? I know I haven't kissed anyone before.."

"No! No, that's not it at all! It was amazing, everything about you is amazing!" Kit said quickly.

Ty looked relieved before telling him, "your not making any sense then."

It was agony having to tear himself away from Ty now, but he couldn't just ignore it this time, at least he shouldn't but the more he looked at Ty, and when he remembered how close they just were and how could still taste him, the more Kit felt his sanity leaving him.

He couldn't think straight, not when everything in him was calling out to Ty.

"I have to leave," he turned away from Ty trying to recollect himself and that he was actually doing this.

Ty ran up to him, placing a light hand on his shoulder, anchoring him in place.

"Whatever is wrong we can face it together."

But Kit wasn't sure that was true.

"I need to be alone, I need to think." Kit didn't look behind him, he knew if he did it would be the end of his resolve.

"But tomorrow you will be made King." Ty's voice was tense. He didn't need to clarify anymore than that. Once Kit was King he would have to give Ty up. This was just a fleeting dream that came far too late.

He could barely breathe, his heart pounded like a slow drum that was waiting to peter out. "I can't back out now, you know that."

Ty's voice cracked, "please don't, don't become King."

Kit turned unable to help himself. He caught Ty's face in his hand, his finger tracing his jawline as he kissed him.

Ty closed his eyes, raising his hands to touch him, but in a flash of light that he didn't see, Kit vanished, leaving him alone on the empty stage.

Kit was gone when he opened his eyes, his hands curled around the empty air where Kit had just been standing. Something swam overhead, blocking the moonlight and throwing the whole theater into darkness. Ty had never felt more alone, more unmoored, cast into a sea like the one above him to drift alone.

And without Kit to hold on to he might never find the shore again.

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Kit was restless that night as he tried to sleep. The feeling of Ty's skin, or his hair brushing his forehead laid over him, refusing to release him. Somehow he drifted off into sleep without knowing it. His dream was much like the memory that refused to shake him loose.

They were on the roof of the L.A. institute, the night sky burned with a million stars he had never seen over California before. He thought he could hear the sound of hooves and singing from the sky from the Wild Hunt as they rode by on a path of colors like the northern lights.

Below them was the city Kit had grown up in with a beach that stretched for miles with white sand that glittered like diamonds.

But Kit only had eyes for the boy smiling down on him from the roof's ledge. The wind swept Ty's hair back, becoming part of the black sky save for the pale oval of his face glowing, and ever captivating as the moon.

Kit walked over to him, placing his hands on the ledge on either side of Ty. He pulled lightly on the neck of his hoodie, and he leaned down until their faces were breathtakingly close. Kit moved his arms to hook around his neck and kissed him, Ty's hands coming to rest on his hips. He felt a euphoria that couldn't be matched take ahold of them. Soon his arms snaked around Ty until he was lifting him up.

Ty broke away to laugh until Kit set him down to kiss him again, his lips brushing over his jaw then his neck. Ty shivered, gripping Kit's shoulder harder. He pushed his hands under Ty's hoodie and felt a shock of pleasure to find only skin. Ty was whispering something in his ear as Kit explored him, the same feelings of awe and love he always felt when he looked at Ty overwhelming him.

It was perfect, like nothing had ever been in his life. But when he looked up at Ty again he saw the procession of Faeries riding to them in them in the sky. They held banners above their heads with a sigil of a mended crown, and they were coming for them.

Or rather for Kit, and Ty was once again right in the line of fire.

He awoke with a start, his knees falling to cold hard stone with a splash. Kit looked around him, surprised to find himself somewhere other than his bed. He was in a strange white room oh his knees in a shallow pool. Above him was a glass ceiling with long thick roots growing and clasping the ceiling.

It was the roots that jogged Kit's memory, of staring up at them as he lay dying in Ty's arms just earlier today. For some reason he was in the room Ty had taken him to with the staff.

The sound of soft sobbing broke him from his growing concern and turned to find an old woman on the other side of the water hunched over. She was wrapped in a long cloak scrubbing something in her hands into the water, long wisps of white hair stuck out like straw.

Kit took a few wary steps towards her. The trials were supposed to be over with unless that was another trick. Somewhere in the back of his mind was a growing dread from when he was in Edom, that maybe he was starting to lose control of his powers.

He walked closer, moving his feet through the water letting it ripple out like a warning that he was here with her. Her sobs turned to sniffling as he approached, and notice the piece of clothing she was trying to scrub on the washboard was dyed almost red with blood from the vigor she tore her frail hands up to wash it.

There were streaks of blood running down her gaunt face, and when she moved her head to acknowledge him, he could see past her long draping hood and saw that her eyes were just bloody sockets devoid of eyes.

She was harrowing to look at, and Kit had to swallow down the instinct of fear when he saw her face, and any question he had for her died then.

"Fate has finally caught up with you, Christopher Herondale," her voice was a deep rasp as if it had been strained to the point of breaking.

Her words sent a chill down his spine, and was instantly reaching for his weapons belt, but there was nothing there. He might still be in full gear but he had finally taken off his weapons to sleep.

"No, you cannot fight off death, child," she said without looking in his direction as she continued to busy herself with the washboard.

"That seems to be a popular theme lately, I can't say I'm a fan," Kit said, with a sense of deja vu.

Her whole face was lined with wrinkles, her lips stuck to her gums in a way that made Kit think she didn't have teeth. "That is because you have invited Death, and once Death has been invited Death will stay."

Kit's eyes widened, it was the same thing the Morrigan had said to him too. He recalled another voice, this time that of Ragnor's from the dream he had under the influence of the Henbane Plumes, "It's too late, now you must pay the price."

The words ran out even now as he thought of them, like a spell spoken out loud.

"You know of what I speak, you have known it for awhile." She raised a bloody finger and pointed it at him.

Kit's eyes drifted to the clothing she was wringing, and with a jolt he thought he recognized it. With it being soaking wet and bloody it was hard to tell but Kit thought it looked a lot like one of Ty's sweaters.

"You're a banshee," he said with dawning horror. Everyone had heard of banshee's, a true herald of death, to see one it is said is to see your own death. But he had never thought of what they were actually like, or how their magic even worked, if they actually caused death or were somehow linked to it.

Another tear of blood ran down her old weathered face as confirmation. Long strands of scraggly white hair stuck to her face matting it with blood.

Kit went to snatch the sweater from her, but she shoved it under her grey cloak before he could reach it.

"Your fate is set," she informed him, "It may not be changed so easily, however, I will not begrudge you of a choice if you decide to make one."

"What choice?" Kit demanded. A vision of of Ty's smile vanishing in a billow of smoke rose before his eyes.

"One of you must die, that is certain. But if you made the choice to let Death take you, then you may still spare him."

She slowly brought the sweater back out, and Kit stared at it. Imagining Julian washing the tattered clothes Ty wore as he died, spattered with his blood. He remembered the splintered wood in Julian's knuckles he had refused to heal when Livvy died.

Kit imagined himself for a second at that funeral, dressed in white as Ty became ash in the sky, and Kit knowing he would never see him again.

Something was wrong, it was even worse than Kit had wanted to believe.

Soon everything he had feared in the House of Dark might soon be real. Kit knew he couldn't survive it. He would lose himself when he lost Ty, he knew that from experience. If he was actually being given a choice he would choose Ty everytime.

Kit's mouth went dry, "how do I do that? How do I save him?"

Wordlessly she extended a bony hand to him.

He hesitated, knowing he was on the edge of making the most final decision of his life.

Completely unwanted, moments from his life intruded on him.

Jem's face swam in front of his eyes, smiling patiently as he let Kit boast and explain the details of the Shadowmarket that Jem had more than a century's worth of experience with. Tessa playfully throwing a book in his lap as she passed him by to get tea, or Kit pulling the two of them into the living room to watch a movie adaption of book Tessa had been telling Kit to read. He felt their love and the feeling of wantedness spread through him even now.

It was amazing how badly he had needed them without knowing it, and how he would have rejected the idea of needing anything at all.

He saw Will as a baby, how Kit would always let him hold his finger. He saw that night he woke up to hear him crying and tried to calm him down by badly singing the song his mother had sang to him. He saw Will's face, all dark hair and eyes staring at him woefully as he called him 'Kit-kat-' for the first time as he asked for a piece of candy.

Kit had given it to him, and a juice box he didn't ask for.

He saw himself training in the garden trying so hard to prove himself to someone and really no one.

He saw all the sleepless nights he spent staring at his wall trying to convince himself not think of Ty, but when everything was still, his mind would always find its way back to him.

All the dark haired boys he avoided on the street out of fear that they could be Ty and the crushing disappointment when it never was.

He could still see even now the image of Ty smiling up at the stars on the beach of L.A. at Magnus and Alec's wedding, and how desperately Kit wanted to slide down the cliffs to him, how he tried to tell himself he was happy, and that he should be happy. But it had hurt worse than any words Kit could ever find to see him smiling without him.

He took a deep breath, holding in the memory before finally taking her hand.

Before his hand closed around hers, he chose to recall Ty just the other day reading in the library as he rubbed circles on Kit's back, trying to soothe him as he slept. He tried to hold onto the image of Ty completely peaceful and the feeling of him comforting him as he accepted the banshee's invitation into the unknown.

Everything went black as they touched. Kit's lungs automatically filled with water, he was drowning. His skin was being shredded at the same time that his lungs were being squeezed. He couldn't see as he felt death's hand grip him.

But just as suddenly as death reached up to claim him did his hand recede.

Kit was on his knees, gasping for breath as he coughed up a gallon water he didn't ingest.

Someone's hands were on his back, rubbing circles in between his shoulder blades.

The touch of his hands was instantly familiar and Kit breathed a sigh of relief he was ashamed to feel.

Ty.

He looked around the room to find they were alone, the banshee had disappeared.

He tried to speak his name but all that came out was a gravelly breath. It was like hot coals were melting down his throat.

Ty grabbed his face, gently turning him towards him and pushed down his collar to draw an Iratze.

As Kit's eyes adjusted he could see that Ty had Caliburn strapped hastily to his back along with his own weapons belt.

He was saying a soft stream of words under his breath. Kit listened closer and heard his name repeated over and over again. His mantra to calm his mind and quell his nervousness was Kit's own name.

He felt sick with guilt hearing it, he was no comfort to Ty, he was the problem.
"What happened? Why did you teleport here?" Ty asked when Kit straightened up.

Kit cleared his throat and this time he was able to speak. "How did you know I teleported again?"

Strangely enough, Ty's cheeks turned a rosey pink at the question. "I was thinking of what you said, so I decided to remain sleeping outside your room. Livvy told me when you disappeared from your room."

Seeing Ty sleeping outside of his room reminded him of when he came to the L.A. institute. Ty had done the same thing back then, but only now did it make sense to Kit. Now that he understood he didn't know how he never realized how much time and effort Ty had always put into trying to protect him.

It had been one of those things he had written of completely because it too much to think it meant anything.

"I know Livvy can walk through walls whenever she wants, but that doesn't mean that she should," Kit frowned, trying not to think of the mermaid who kept trying to spy on him in his room. At least he didn't think Livvy would do that.

"You would be dead otherwise," Ty told him with a very tense expression.

"Good point," Kit looked over at Caliburn and felt a sudden intense desire to have it back in his hands. "Toss me my sword, I want to be comforted by holding a big weapon."

Ty tried to shrug it off his shoulder. "You'll have to take it. There is some sort of binding magic, I think only the chosen wielder can use it. It's too heavy for me to hold properly."

Kit took the sword from him, feeling security wash through him as he held his sword. It was strange how attached to it he already was. He was grateful that Ty had brought it to him even though it must have been a struggle.

As if reading his mind, Ty said, "Julian gave Cortana to Emma when she lost her parents to comfort her. He always said Emma could withstand anything with Cortana in her hands."

Kit wasn't really sure if it was Cortana that Emma had always needed by her side, but he didn't argue. He felt he could do anything when he held Caliburn, like it had always belonged to him.

He had never felt that way about a weapon before.

"You didn't answer my question," Ty said, reminding Kit of what he had first asked him.

"I don't know why I came here, or what happened. But there was a banshee, she confirmed everything.." Kit looked up and searched his face. "I know you know it too. Think of how many times we've almost died, even before Faerie but at the academy too."

Ty bit his lip. He was soaking wet too after diving in after him, he didn't even bother to sweep back his black hair sticking to his forehead, one eye was almost completely covered by his hair like a curtain. "I've noticed too. At first I didn't think much of it, Shadowhunters are always in danger but some of the circumstances were far more than just improbable, and no one else has been in as much danger."

Ty was starting to shake slightly, Kit didn't know if it was because of the cold or if he was afraid that this was his fault.

Kit scooted himself closer and grabbed his hands. "We'll figure this out, we'll go to Magnus tonight and find out what's happening."

"Why not Ragnor?" Ty asked confused.

Kit knew that Ragnor probably made the most sense to talk about this with but Kit couldn't help the rising swell of resentment he felt at the thought of asking him to help them fix their mistake. "No, we'll see Magnus. He would know just as much anyways."

They rose together, still holding each others hands.

"I have to say goodbye to Livvy, just in case...just in case.." Ty trailed off, but Kit didn't need more of an explanation.

He nodded, "I have some things to give Kieran to hold onto until we come back."

Kit wanted to say something to Livvy, maybe to give her an actual goodbye, but it didn't seem right to intrude on their goodbye.

Ty shot him a glance, and Kit wondered if he was asking himself the same question he was thinking.

When were they going to come back?
Soon enough, Kit told himself brushing all other thoughts aside.

Ty moved out of his grasp and almost turned around before Kit was filled with a sudden intensity and touched his shoulder to turn him back around.

Ty looked back at him with wide eyes at the sudden action, but he didn't flinch away as Kit moved closer to him.

"I meant what I told you today, every word of it. Nothing is ever going to change how I feel about you."

Kit watched as the words sunk in as Ty's face slowly transformed into the sunset. Breathtakingly beautiful, Kit only hoped it wasn't fleeting.

He didn't know what to say to Livvy, he didn't know how to ever thank Dru for what she did, but he knew nobody would be complaining as long Ty kept smiling.

He didn't know how to protect that, but if he could promise them anything it would be that he would keep trying.

Sorry this took so long! In actuality this one has been done for a little while now, it's just that I couldn't seem to get it to where I was satisfied enough to post it. But hopefully you guys enjoy this one! I know this one drove me crazy writing it.