Author's note: Hey all! Hope you all are having a very happy holiday season and a great first day of 2020! This is a great chapter, I think. And perfect for this time of year.

If you're interested in reading some original things from me (polyamory in Victorian England), you can check out my Tumblr daniwritessometimes.

Many thanks to my beta aihodineverlark!

Thanks a ton to my bestie who always reads my things.

Happy reading!

Chapter Fifteen

"Why can't I go with you?" Riley whined, not for the first time. He sat on Peeta's bed watching his father changing shirts.

"Because kids don't get to go on dates most of the time." Peeta explained patiently. He adjusted his light blue shirt and let out a slow breath. "What do you think of this one?"

Riley crossed his arms and grumbled, "You look handsome, Dad. Now, let me go with you."

Peeta dropped to the floor in front of his son. He placed his hands the boy's knees. "I love you so very much, Riley. But this is a time when you can't come with me. Katniss and I want to have some time alone. You, my lucky boy, get to go spend the evening with your grandma and grandpa. You'll play games and watch a movie. Grandpa even said something about ordering pizza."

"If you think it sounds so fun, then you can stay with Grandma and Grandpa and I'll go with Katniss."

Peeta sighed. "I promise you that you will get to go on a date with Katniss and me another time. I need time with another adult tonight. And you need time with your grandparents." He stood up. "Go get your shoes."

Riley continued to grumble the whole ride to his grandparent's house. He went silent as soon as they pulled into the driveway.

Peeta turned around and looked at his son. "I love you, Riley. And I'm going to miss you tonight. But I will see you in a few hours and I want to hear everything you do with Grandma and Grandpa, okay?"

Riley sniffed and wiped at a tear. "I don't want you to marry Katniss without me."

Peeta chuckled. "I'd never do that. It's just a date, Riles. People go on a bunch of those before they decide to get married."

Riley sniffed again. "And I get to go on a date next?"

Peeta smiled. "Yes. Katniss and I will talk about that today."

Riley nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt.

Peeta followed him toward the house. Riley slipped his hand into Peeta's for the last few feet before he launched himself through the door. He called for his grandparents.

After they all passed around greetings, Peeta said, "Thanks for letting him come hang out for a while."

Conrad smiled. "It's not a problem at all. You go have fun and we'll be here."

Peeta held out his arms to Riley. When the boy wrapped his arms around his father's neck, Peeta held him close for several quiet moments. "I love you, Riley. And I won't be gone long."

"Will you bring me back something?"

"We'll see." He kissed Riley's cheek and let go. "I should be back about ten."

"You don't need to rush." Cara said.

Peeta nodded and headed out the door.

Katniss paced in front of her door. Her phone was still pressed to her ear. "You sure it looks okay?" She tugged at the hem of her green blouse and smoothed a hand over her jeans.

Prim answered, "Of course. You're going to a casual dinner. You don't need to be fancy."

"I know." She heard Peeta's car pull in. "He's here. Tell me I'm not going to screw this up."

"You're not going to screw it up." Prim said. "Just relax and have fun. And tell Peeta I say hi."

"Okay. Love you." She hung up the phone and ran into the bathroom to check her reflection one more time.

Peeta knocked and she hurried to open the door. She took him in. There were things about him she was starting to notice more. The broadness of his shoulders and the dimple that showed up when he smiled just right.

"Hey." His blue eyes sparkled under the porch light. "You look great."

"Thanks. So do you." She grabbed her keys, purse, and coat from beside the door. "I'm ready when you are."

Peeta led her out to his car and opened the door.

"Such a gentleman." Katniss climbed in and he shut the door after her.

He started down the road. "Okay, so I thought we'd go to that Italian place. Nothing super fancy, but nice enough. And not loud."

She smiled. "Sounds good to me."
"It's one I never get to go to. Riley can be picky. And if he wants spaghetti with meat sauce, I can make it for cheaper at home."

Katniss chuckled and reached over for Peeta's hand. He curled his fingers around hers and brought it up for a kiss.

"Can I ask you something?" He said after a moment.

"Anything." She responded.

"Have you ever been on any sort of date? Like prom or anything?"

"No. I went to senior prom with my friends. Mom and Prim convinced me to go. But I skipped out on all the formals in college."

"I just wasn't sure if I was doing this how you expected." He laughed nervously. "My last date was in high school quite a bit before Riley came along. Some scary movie. Glimmer and I made out the whole time. Then we went to Sae's and she sat on my lap and fed me fries dipped in vanilla milkshake." He pulled his hand out of hers. "That's not first date conversation. I'm sorry."

They sat in an awkward silence. The light they were stopped at turned green and Katniss asked, "Have you ever wanted to travel?"

"I've thought about it. We never went on any trips when I was a kid unless they were school related. I'd love to take Riley on a road trip."

"Where would you go on your road trip?"

Peeta thought about it as he pulled into the restaurant's parking lot. "I think I'd like to take him to some national parks. The big ones like Yosemite, but also the smaller ones that don't get a lot of press. And then end the whole thing at an amusement park." He found a spot. "What about you? Any dreams of travel?"

"Kind of similar. I've been thinking about taking some of next summer and camping. Just take a couple weeks and stay at a site for a day or two and then move on to another one a few towns over. Hike. Experience nature." She chuckled. "Does that sound lame? Most people when they say they want to travel they think Europe."

"Not lame at all." He got out of the car and walked around to open the door for Katniss. "Every time I think about things I want to do, I have to consider how Riley will fit in. Eight or more hours stuck on a plane with a 6-year-old? No, thanks. I'd rather drive for an hour or two and then let him get out and run around. Even if it's on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere."

The hostess smiled and greeted them as they stepped through the door. "How many?"

"Just two." Peeta said, placing his hand on Katniss's lower back. A jolt of joy went through her and she was glad he didn't drop it until they were at their table.

They made small talk as they looked over the menu. Once their choices were made, they stared across the table at each other in an awkward silence.

Peeta laughed. "Okay, let's continue the line we were on earlier. Where in the world would you travel if time and money didn't matter?"

Katniss chewed her lip. "Hmm, a good question. Do you have an answer?"

"Paris."

"For the Louvre?"

He smiled and nodded. "When I was a kid, I stumbled on a book in the library about it. I became obsessed. I looked up every single book and article I could find after that. I spouted facts to anyone that stood still long enough." He chuckled. "Drove my dad nuts, but he tried to be patient about it." He leaned forward and took a sip of his water. "So, did you decide?"

She smiled. "I don't know. Maybe on a safari. Get up close and personal with some wild animals."

"That sounds hot and scary."

She shrugged. "Sounds fun to me."

"Some people are built for nature." He stretched his hand across the table, palm up, and she happily slipped hers into it. "But I could tolerate it, I think."

"We could start slow. Like with a hike or something once it starts to warm up."

"I could do a hike. I bet Riley would love it."

She stroked her thumb against his fingers. "I have a few ideas of where we could go. The three of us, I mean."

"Just let me know when and where and we'll join you."

Their food arrived then and they took a few moments to get settled.

Katniss spoke after a moment, "I know we agreed to a movie, but the lights are still up at the park. You up for a brisk winter walk after we eat?"

Peeta smiled and nodded. He took a sip of his water before answering, "That sounds very romantic."

She shrugged. "Prim's always making me watch romantic comedies." She paused. "Who am I kidding? I love those things." She pushed her food around on her plate. She was too nervous to eat much. Was he going to expect a kiss when this was all over?

"They are kind of fun. Riley always covers his eyes and screams when people kiss or get mushy." He sat his fork down. "I'm sorry everything comes back to him."

"Don't be." Katniss sat her hand on top of the table and wiggled her fingers.

It took Peeta a moment before he placed his hand in hers.

"So much of your life is in him. Don't ever apologize for that."

The look he gave her was filled with an emotion she couldn't name. "You are far too understanding."

She shrugged. "I'm just trying really hard. I can't think of disregarding his existence while dating you."

"He was so mad I left him behind tonight." He smiled and let go of her hand to eat again.

"The three of us can do something next weekend." Katniss took a bite and chewed thoughtfully. "What about bowling?"

"I think Riley will like that."

"Then bowling it is. We can work out the details later."

Peeta felt like Katniss was sometimes too good to be true. Was she saying all these understanding things about Riley because she actually believed them or was she just saying it to placate him?

Either way, he found himself flashing to images of the future: Riley and Katniss playing video games together, him and Katniss cooking together, Katniss lounging barefoot in his living room with a book (did she even read?), movie dates and dinner dates and wedding bells. Slow down, this is a first date.

Katniss put the last bite of food into her mouth and sat back with a sigh. "I am stuffed."

Peeta chuckled and used a breadstick to wipe at some sauce on his plate. "Same!" He asked the passing waiter for the check. "You ready for that walk?"

She laughed. "I think so. It will do us both good."

Peeta signed the receipt and slipped the card back into his wallet. "Shall we?"

Katniss slid her chair back with a groan. "That was a mistake." She put her hand into his outstretched one and they left the restaurant together.

They were quiet on the ride to the park. Katniss held Peeta's hand they whole way.

As they got out of the car and started toward the walking trail of the park, Katniss said, "When I was little, we would all pile into the car Christmas Day as soon as the sun went down and look at all the lights. We'd sing carols and stop to get out at some of our favorites to get a better look."

"Christmas is one of the busiest times of year for the bakery, so our tradition was always to go out the week after."

They walked in silence for a while. Their shoulders bumped together every so often. Peeta stopped Katniss for a picture in the middle of the tree made of lights. She looked amazing. The smile she had lit her face even more than the lights all around her.

"Your turn." She said, holding up her phone.

He laughed and struck a silly pose with his fists on his hips.

Katniss laughed and took the picture. "Okay, now slightly more serious."

Peeta dropped his hands and looked up slightly. He gave her his usual half smile that he gave for posed pictures.

They moved out of the tree and continued to walk through the decorated park. Peeta squeezed her hand and moved closer. "I have a question I've been meaning to ask for a while."

"Okay."

He didn't want to chase her away, but the question had been weighing in him. "Do you want kids?"

Katniss laughed uncomfortably. "I always say no when people ask that. Because I don't want to explain how conflicted I feel about it." She sighed and let go of his hand to sit on a nearby bench.

Peeta sat down beside her, but kept his distance. "You don't have to answer."

"But I want you to know." She twisted her fingers on her lap. "My mom and dad both worked long hours. They were both tired by the end of the day, so I had a lot of responsibility for Prim from a young age. And then my dad died and I had even more. So I've already raised a child. And I love her with all I am. But I never saw myself as a mom otherwise."

He nodded. "I understand."

"I'm not saying I'll never change my mind. But for now, that's my choice." She looked up at him. "And you? Do you want more kids?"

Peeta shrugged. "Sometimes I look at my siblings, all my nieces and nephews, even you and Prim and I just can't help but think how enriched Riley's life would be if he had a sibling." He sighed. "But there's the little snag of never getting serious with anyone because either I didn't feel any sort of spark or they didn't want to be with a guy who already had a son or… a million other things. I'd love for him to be a big brother, but I doubt it will ever happen."

She moved closer and slipped her hand into his. "Well, you never know what the future holds." She rested her head on his shoulder.

His breath caught in his throat. "Nope, never can know." He turned his head and kissed her forehead. "Let's head out of here and find some hot chocolate or something. I'm freezing."

"Dessert at Sae's?" Katniss stood and pulled Peeta to his feet.

"Definitely." He pulled her into a hug. He whispered in her ear, "You're gorgeous in this light."

She laughed and pressed her eyes into the crook of his neck. "You're ridiculous."

"It's the truth, Katniss. Really it is." He lifted her head off his shoulder and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. He leaned forward.

Katniss put up her hand and his lips met her fingers. "Not yet."

Peeta groaned and dropped his hands. "Okay."

"It doesn't feel right." She took hold of his hands and stepped close. "This is the perfect place and if this were one of those romantic movies we were talking about earlier, we would kiss with the lights all around us. But," she sighed, "I'm not ready."

"Okay." Peeta said again. "Let's go to Sae's." He walked off, feeling dejected.

Katniss ran up and slipped her hand into his. "Not right now isn't never. I promise." She squeezed his hand and they continued on to the car.