October 2, 1994

It had been Remus' idea; for the five of them to get together and drink and reminisce. It was a bad idea that had somehow happened and if someone was brutally murdered by the end of the night and the Aurors were called before she left that's what Lucy would tell them; it was Remus' idea.

Sirius and Andromeda, at the kitchen table in Constellation Commorancy sat on one side and Claudia and Narcissa sat on the other whilst Lucy sat at the head of the table. Each of them had a glass full of the strongest firewhiskey Kreature could get his hands on and Lucy knew there were several dozen or so more bottles in the houses wine cellar.

The air in the room was thick and palpabile— from both awkwardness and tension —and Lucy as she raised her glass to her lips was sure this would never be happening again.

But was happening at that moment. She set her glass down.

"Regulus sang me to sleep once," Lucy said suddenly, both former Black sisters stopped glaring at the other and turned to Lucy as Sirius' shoulders dropped almost thankfully and he too looked at her. Claudia however didn't, with her shoulders hunched over and eyes glued to the full glass in front of her the only thing that changed was that her breath hitched in her throat.

Little Lucy Black was crying; something not uncommon at number twelve Grimmauld Place. Her knees were once more bloody and ached and all she wanted was her brother back. How could he leave me? Lucy sobbed into her pillow.

"Lucretia?" A voice, her other brothers voice, sounded through the door, "I'm coming in, okay." Lucy made an ugly choking sound as she nodded, snot and tears got all over her silk pillow case as Regulus opened the door. He shut it behind him quietly and though he was only fourteen he looked leagues older than that; something heavy weighed in his eyes.

"Lucy," he said almost mournfully as he looked at his sister and the bloody hem of her expensive dress. "What happened?" He crouched in front of her and Lucy threw her tiny arms around his neck.

"I wanted to see father and mother caught me." Orion Black was sick, another disease plaguing the Black family genetics come to light, and everyone in the house knew it was better to leave the man alone to die than crowd around him. To remember him as the tall, powerful wizard who made his political opponents quake in their shoes, not the weak husk of a man he had been reduced too; it was what he wanted.

But at only five Lucy didn't understand that. She knew her father was sick and she knew she wasn't allowed on the top floor to see him but she was five and all she wanted was her father.

"I was—you had just left home," Lucy said to Sirius, "And I was crying, he heard. I have no idea where he was but he had just come home and he'd been passing by my room when he heard me and I wouldn't stop crying. He helped me into my pajamas— mother had made me kneel on rice for hours —and he sang me to sleep. When I woke up a few hours later he was still there. He was still in the clothes he was wearing when he gone out."

"What-What did he sing?" Claudia wondered. Lucy smiled sorrowfully.

"Twinkle twinkle little star," Lucy took another sip, she laughed into her drink, "Reggie was talented in a lot of things, singing though, he was terrible at." Everyone at the table huffed a laugh.

"He did a lot to make me feel better after mother had hurt me."

Regulus Black was fifteen and home for Christmas, Lucy was seven and she sat in Grimmauld Places parlor with her knees drawn to her chest. It was late, their mother had gone to bed hours ago and the only light in the room was from the ever burning fireplace.

"Lucy?" Regulus wondered from the half open doorway of the parlor, Lucy jumped and turned to face her brother, her chin, once she released it was her brother behind her, rested on top of the back of the deep green sofa. "What are you doing up?"

The necklace Sirius had given Lucy before he had left hung around her neck, something she stopped doing when she realized it sent her mother into an angry fit whenever the Black matriarch caught sight of it.

The bruise from when her mother had smacked her earlier that day was hard to see in only the fire light but Lucy could feel her brother staring at it; she smiled broadly despite the hurt. She was missing one of her front teeth and two on the bottom, her tongue stuck out from the spaces.

"Waiting for Santa, I wrote to him months ago I asked for a new broom and for him to bring Sirius home and I don't want to miss him." Regulus eyes shut for a moment and his shoulders slumped.

When his eyes opened he smiled back at her the same way Sirius always had, easy going and the way Lucy used to dream of her parents looking at her. Happily.

"Santa doesn't come if you're up, you should know that by now." Regulus moved to the sofa and picked Lucy up from the other side of the couch. "I'll tuck you in now so by the time you do wake up Santa will have brought you presents, okay?"

"Okay! Hey Reggie!" Lucy leaned back and beamed at him, "I'm happy you decided to come for Christmas, mother said you wanted to spend it with Claudia."

"I did, but then I thought how could I leave you on Christmas." Lucy planted a kiss on her brother's cheek.

"Kreature told me, years later, that mother hadn't bought a single preset that year. At least not for me," Lucy let out a tense chuckle and she reached for the bottomless of whiskey, she poured more than socially acceptable into her glass. "But Reggie had spent all night out waking up store clerks to buy me presents. The doll house he'd gotten me stopped working after his death—it wasn't even magical, he'd gone to muggle London to buy me presents because our own mother hadn't."

Both Claudia and Andromeda squeezed her knees under the table and Lucy let out an ugly choked back sob. She missed her brother.

"He adored you," Claudia told Lucy, "Honestly, no one ever did it to his face but they spoke about him behind his back. They thought it was weird that his elf and that the portrait of his great great grandfather visited him every night but Barry and I, we were the only ones that knew why though."

To check on her, Lucy already knew that, she knew that Regulus had instructed both Great-grandfather Phineas and Kreature to look out for her while he was away at school.

"He loved you too," Lucy told Claudia and the rest that remained of the Black family nodded.

"Uncle Alphard left him his house as an early wedding present and every so often I would find him doodling the houses floor plan from memory, he would put the name of whatever future kid he wanted with you in one box and the names changed a lot but I'm sure if someone ever goes through his old school books they'll find a dozen and a half different floor plans for the same house."

"He always did call you a snoop," Claudia giggles, tears streamed down her face.

"There wasn't a minute from the moment you pushed him in that pond that Reg didn't want to marry you," Sirius said. "He always made that clear to our parents. If they wanted to force him into a contract fine but it would be with you."

"Claudia this and Claudia that I'm sure before he died our father wanted to marry you and Reg if only to get him to shut up for a moment."

"Ara thought it was adorable," Andromeda said, "It reminded her of her and Rabastan in a way." Narcissa drank at the mention of her dead sister.

"He used to play house with me whenever I wanted it as long as Lucy could be our child, he wanted a family," Claudia told them. "He wanted a daughter, to show he could do it right."

"He would have been an amazing father," Lucy said, "Merlin knows I wished more than once that he or Ara were my parents."

The room settled for a moment, the leaves in the yard rustled in the wind.

"He broke grandmother Irma's vase; the goblin made one she got on her wedding day," Sirius said after a minute. Everyone at the table nodded, they could recall the large child side vase that sat in Grimmauld Places sitting room. "He was six, you—" Sirius said to Lucy, who used the ball of her palm to wipe away tears that columned to fall, "—Weren't even born yet but he was flying in the house when he wasn't supposed to be and he had broken the vase. I took the blame, I told Reg to hide behind the sofa and when mother dearest came in she saw me holding the broom."

"What'd she do?" Lucy wondered. She knew she was the only one of her siblings for their mother to have ever hurt physically and part of her was glad neither of her brothers had experienced what she had but another part, the part that crowed in the back of her mind in her darkest of times— the one that sounded far too much like her mother —wanted them to have gone through what she had. Part of her wanted to know that what had happened was all their mother and that it wasn't because she was unlovable or a monster that her mother could spot early on. She didn't want to feel alone.

"Burned the broom. Uncle Alphard had gotten it for me, Reg had gone into my room and taken it. Mother said I could fly again when I made the house team," Sirius smiled sourly, "Mum and dad though, Jamsie's parents, they got my bike in the end which I love more than I could ever love a broom but at the time I had been livid at Reg."

Lucy caught Andromeda clutching at Sirius' hand under the table. She also caught the unshed tears in her brothers eyes, ones he quickly blinked away. "I don't think I ever properly apologized."

"He knew you loved him," Narcissa said. It was the first time she had spoken since having sat down and her voice was heavy and thick, and raw with quivering emotions.

She looked at Andromeda who stared back at her.

"After you ran away, he came to me and Araminta, he asked if it got better, the hurt that comes with knowing your older sibling abandoned you—"

"—I didn't abandon you," Andromeda cut in to her sister.

"You didn't take me with you," Narcissa rebutted.

"You wouldn't have come, you loved that life— you love it —being the perfect pureblood Princess was something you took joy in and you know it," Andromeda snapped with her finger out and waving in front of her in Narcissa direction.

"I loved my sisters more. You didn't give me the chance to pick." There was more to that sentence, Lucy could hear it, but whatever the unsaid words were, they were lost when Andromeda coolly looked at her youngest sister.

"Father tried to kill me. He almost killed Dora. He would have killed, tried to kill, you too if you had come."

"I know," Narcissa said, "I told Regulus when he came to me that while he'll always love you, blood traitor or not, and that you'll love him, some siblings aren't meant to be friends." Andromeda jaw clenched.

"Did he?" Sirius wonder, "Love me, still? I mean after what I said to him before I left, what I said to him when we were at school, I wouldn't blame him."

"Of course he did," Claudia said to Sirius, "He adored you, he was furious at you for picking Potter over him—" it was a sentiment both Lucy knew she and her brother had shared, one they could still share dead or not,

"—I didn't pick James over him—"

"—But that's what it felt like," Lucy said to Sirius, "When you left us to live with them, when you would spend most of your holiday with them, when you missed Christmas morning because you had spent Christmas Eve with them that's what it felt like." Sirius' eyes softened in Lucy's direction.

"I couldn't stay in that house anymore. It wasn't you and it wasn't Reg."

"Yeah," Claudia said softly, "In the end, he got it." It's what got him killed.

October 5, 1995

Lucy had seen Mr. and Mrs. Weasley leave for date nights during the summers she would stay with them at Burrow. Mrs. Weasley would always wear one of the few nice skirts she had or the nice green dress she always said she kept in the back of her closet, and Mr. Weasley would shine his shoes and part his thinning his differently as he stood in front of the door, telling Bill, Lucy and Charlie the rules that they already know before imparting that while Bill and Lucy were in charge Lucy was in charge of Bill and he was in charge of her.

She never thought she would have a date night, never thought that she would be domesticated enough to schedule one beforehand because she was a Black, a villain waiting to paint the Daily Prophets front page red, but there she was, in front of the mirror in her bedroom bathroom, with lipstick and eyeliner that Cissy had long ago showed her how to properly apply and black and while pin stopped pants ready to let Remus sweep her off her feet.

As if he hadn't already done it, but Mrs. Weasley was right—

At sixteen Lucy often wondered why Mr. and Mrs. Weasley went on date nights, how they never ended up fighting, at least in front of her and the others, and how they managed to do happy. Lucy had never seen a couple so happy.

So she asked, none of the children were up and Mr. Weasley had already left for work; Mrs. Weasley was in the kitchen making eggs and sausage.

"Mrs. Weasley?" The red haired woman turned around.

"Lucy dear, good morning!"

"Morning Mrs. Weasley," Lucy took her regular seat and Mrs. Weasley frowned at her.

"Is everything alright dearly. Did you have another nightmare?"

"No, no," Lucy shook her head. She hadn't had a nightmare since finals, it was almost a moment into holiday vacation. "I just—I wanted to ask you something, if that was okay."

Wiping her hands on her apron, smiling like usual, Mrs. Weasley waves her wand so the skillet would cook the sausage and the pan and spatula would cook the eggs themselves.

Holding her hands in a way Lucy's own mother never would— or had —Mrs. Weasley sat across the table from the young witch.

"Now what's on your mind?"

"You and Mr. Weasley, I mean I don't—I don't want to offend or anything but you've been married a while, haven't you?"

"Seventeen years." It wasn't a secret that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had had a shotgun wedding.

"How do you still love him? I mean, you guys go on dates and you don't fight in front of us and I don't get how you do it?"

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Weasleys eyebrows knitted together.

"How haven't you—hasn't Mr. Weasley woken up one day and relaxed you don't want this anymore?" Mrs. Weasley pressed her lips together as if to hold back the floodgates of everything she wanted to say, which scared Lucy because what if one of them was 'Get out' only to sigh.

She squeezed Lucy's hands tighter.

"It's because of those date nights that Arthur and I have made it this far. That and never going to bed angry."

"Really?" Mrs. Weasley nodded.

"Those date nights help remind the both of us why we fell in love with each other. Ever since we started having kids Arthur and I haven't gotten a lot of time together, which is okay because we love you all, but sometimes between all the diapers and the skinned knees it's hard to remember why Arthur's eyes sparkle differently from the man at the bookstore and a few hours once a week, with just the two of us, helps remind me. I know it helps him."

"Oh, okay." It made sense in a way. Sort of; a stray thought crossed her mind, Perhaps I'll understand when I fall in love.

And she did. It was nice to remember why you had fallen in love with someone, to remind them why they had fallen in love with you. To spend time with them for just a little without the stress of life weighing down on you.

When Lucy exited the bathroom, just as Mr. Weasley would stand in front of the Burrows door Remus stood in front of Constellation Commeracys, chatting with Sirius who was cleverer in Greece from working on his bike all day.

Remus looked at Lucy before looking at Sirius before quickly looked back at Lucy with a soft look in his eyes, a kind smile on his face.

"You look great," Remus told Lucy as she grabbed the leather jacket Bill had given her for her birthday.

"You do too," Lucy told him. He wasn't wearing anything different, a soft newer sweater she had seen before, jeans that didn't wear at the knees or have a hole in the thigh nor were frayed at the cuffs, and shoes that he wore everyday.

Remus pecked Lucy's lips softly, only to draw back when Sirius let out a throaty cough. Both Lucy and Remus turned to Sirius who with a large smile on his crossed his arms. Remus wrapped an arm around Lucy's waist while she leaned against his shoulder.

"Now see here Mr. Lupin—"

"—What are you doing Padfoot?—"

"—Let me have this Moony," Sirius said, "Now see here Mr. Lupin I expect both you and Lucreatia here—"

"—Call me my full name again and see what happens Sirius—" paying her no mind the oldest Black continued on,

"To be home eleven o'clock sharp, and I'll know if you anything unsavory towards her, my people will be watching."

"Your people?" Remus wondered with a raised brow. Biting back his own smile the werewolf turned to Lucy. "He has people."

"He people need to remind him next time he calls me Lucretia I'm sucking your dick in his bikes sidecar." With a loud offended gasp Sirius turned a bright Gryffindor red.

"You wouldn't dare!" Lucy's own eyebrow raised.

"When has saying that to a former-Slytherin ever worked in your favor brother?" With a glare Sirius looked at his sister.

"Try to have a little fun and you threaten to defile my baby, bullshit," Sirius muttered like a petulant child. He then, after a second, smiled at both Remus and Lucy. Clapping Remus on the shoulder he took a step back.

"Have fun kids, don't do anything too crazy."

"Stop daring me to call your bluffs!"

"Make me Goose!"

…

Side along apparition sucked; anyone who said otherwise was a muggle or had just never experienced because Lucy, who had been dealing with it since she was a small child was sure the experience had just gotten worse since her own adolescence.

Remus, who had apperated them to a small town on the northwest coast. Whiby on one side was surrounded by the North Sea, on the other three sides the beach front town was surrounded by woods.

Lucy and Remus landed in an alleyway between a drugstore and a dry cleaners.

"The house I lived in before coming to work as a Professor, the one my father left me is just outside the town, but that's not why we're here."

"Why are we here?" Lucy wondered, still holding his hand.

"You said you've never been on a real date, I want to take you on one." Warmth bloomed in Lucy's chest. Coyly she turned to him and smiled up at him threw her lashes, flirting was not something Lucy had ever been anything more than a novance in, but there was something prideful about seeing Remus' Adam's apple bob up and down as he grinned down at her, molding himself to fit against her.

"And what's a real date entail Messr Mooney?"

"Dinner, a movie or a movie and dinner. A walk in the park." Lucy's lips ghosted over Remus' and his mustache tickled the space between her nose and upper lip.

"And after that?" She wondered.

"I drop you off at your door and kiss you good night," his eyes shut and slowly he lead Lucy's back to rest against the brick wall behind her. It was easy to forget they were in a public alleyway because the only thing swimming in Lucy's mind was Remus, from the feel of his lips against hers to the heat of his palm as it rested against the space between her pants and her crop top, and how much she loved him.

She loved him. She loved him. She loved him. She—Lucy's breathing hitched softly as Remus kissed her, one hand rested next to her head on the wall and his other groped at her waist; both her index fingers hooked around the loops of his jeans as she pulled Remus forward.

When he broke away for air a moment Lucy breathed. "I love you," she told him and he lit up with a large glowing smile.

"I love you too, now come on," detangling himself from Lucy, "I was here earlier to see the movie times and Time Cop starts in—" Remus looked at his watch, "Twenty minutes."

"What the fuck is Time Cop?" Lucy wondered as Remus, holding her hand, led her out of the alleyway and onto the deserted muggle street that housed the cinema at the end of the block.

"It's a movie, the paper says it's about an American police officer—" Lucy shot a confused look at Remus who clarified that police officers were the muggle version of Aurors, "—In 2004, when time travel has been made possible. The movies all about him following an interconnected web of episodes in his own life as he fights time-travel crime and investigates the politician's plans."

"The plot sounds insane," Lucy said with a good natured laugh.

"So you don't want to watch it?"

"Of course I do, I mean as long as we sit in the back," she flirted. Turning pink Remus seemed to almost swallow his own tongue. Giggling, Lucy grinned.

"Mr. Lupin!" Both Lucy and Remus turned to see two young teens, no older than Theo and Harry waving at Remus.

One, the boy on the left, wore a too big button down shirt and ripped jeans while the girl on his right, whos bright golden hair had been been braided into two twin braids wore bright pink sneakers that lit up with eatery step she took.

"Wendell! Jessica!" Remus smiled at the young teens, "It's good to see you again." Remus turned to Lucy, "My last job as a construction worker in Stainsacre was with their father, he used to bring them to work with him on the weekends."

"Mr. Lupin used to help us with our homework!" The boy, Wendell boasted.

"He did," his sister nodded, "But are you on a date Mr. Lupin?" Remus chuckled at the girls bold question and nodded.

"I am, my girlfriend Lucy and I meet at the school I told you I was going to work at."

"Does this mean you're coming back to work with our dad or are you still at that school?"

"Neither," Remus said, "Lucy and I live over near Ravenstown—"

"—Where's that?" Wendell wanted to know.

"—Closer to Liverpool than Leeds," Lucy answered and the boy's eyes widened because 'Why are you over here if you live over there?'

"Because I wanted to show Lucy the place I've been living the past seventeen years."

"Seventeen years?" The boy gasps, "How old are you Mr. Lupin?" His sister Jessica lunches him in the shoulder.

"You can't ask grown ups that question!"

"Sure I can, I just can't ask women that question and it's not like I asked Mr. Lupins girlfriend how old she was but—" the boys head swivels Lucy's way.

"Twenty three."

"Cool, you're about our cousins age! Sully's twenty five." Lucy stilled. There was more than one explanation to why they had a cousin named Sully, a million people had cousins named Sully but still—

"Sully? Like Sully Chandler?" Her luck had always been terrible, there were times of course where the metaphorical clouds that hovered over her broke for the sun— meeting Bill, the Weasley accepting her, Dora being a defiant little shit hellbent on getting to know her, meeting Remus —this not even she was this unlucky.

"Yeah! How'd you know!" Wendell bounced on his toes. Of course she was. "Hey Jess go get Sul!" The boy cheered only for Lucy who had reached tried to reach out to grasp the girls to miss.

The girls pigtails flapped behind her as she ran into the drug store she and her brother had just come out of.

"So how do you know my cousin Miss. Lucy?" Wendell wondered. Lucy felt her heart pound on her throat. She felt water press against her chest. Like she was in the lake again.

"School," Lucy choked, "You cousin and I went to school together."

"Awesome!" Standing there in muggle pants and a muggle rugby jersey with his little cousin tugging him by the hand stood Sully Chandler who with an unlit cigarette in his mouth gawked at Lucy.

"Black—I, wow, I so did not expect to see you here, and you're with the guy!" Chandler nodded at Remus who, Lucy saw from the corner of her eyes, glared back at him.

"Yeah well I'm here so if you don't mind—" Lucy went to turn back in the direction of the cinema only to stop when Sully Chandlers voice stopped her.

"I'm sorry. I read about what happened back in June, about your brother. I was an angry kid."

"You were an angry kid? You're chalking what you and your friends did up to being angry?" Lucy whispered.

"Well, yeah."

Lucy moved forward— just an inch —and Chandler pushed both his cousins behind him, Remus's hand fell so that it was only the pads of his fingers holding onto the pads of hers.

"I wasn't breathing when Bill pulled me out of the lake. You killed me—" Lucy's voice raised with each oncoming word, his cousin Jessica, with a broken look in her eyes looked up at her cousin, "Because you were angry at something I hadn't done!"

"I'm sorry but, hey it's not like I was wrong," Chandler told Lucy who cocked her head to the side.

"Excuse me?"

"Death Eater or not you still killed a man Black." His cousins both gasped behind him, they looked at Lucy the same way people had before Sirius had been exonerated. Like they were waiting for her to kill someone. To be just like her family.

Lucy hit him. Bill had done so after he and his friends had tried— and had accidentally ended up doing so —to drown her, but Lucy had never hit him or Quinn or Gills. The closest she had come to was drawing her wand on the back in February. She wasn't sure why she never had though, hitting Sully Chandler and seeing him hit the concrete pavement made something in Lucy swell. The same way a balloon swelled with air as it was inflated.

"Sully!" Remus, when Sully Chandler swayed to his feet and Lucy moved to hit him again, dragged Lucy to his chest by the back of pants. His arm had gone from the back of her pants to wrapped protectively around her middle while his other held his wand in his coat pocket.

"Feel better?" Chandler wondered as he worked his jaw.

Lucy bobbed her head from left to right for a minute. "Let me hit you again and then I'll answer."

"That's not happening, you hitting me was a one time thing Black." Not If Remus let her go. Chandler turned his back and ushered both young teens to the car parked across the road. When he and the car was gone Remus relaxed, though he didn't let Lucy go.

Lucy sagged against Remus body, with her eyes shut tightly she turned her head up at Remus. Guilt settled in her ribs. "I ruined date night didn't I?"

"What makes you think that?" Remus wanted to know.

Lucy turned in Remus' arms so their chests were pressed together. "Cause I hit him and I totally ruined whatever nice flirty mood we had going on before." Remus cupped Lucy's cheek.

"It's nothing we can't redo. The nights still young." Lucy melted. Someone else would have shrugged, would have told her no and watched the movie and their night would have ended in a stoic vibe but Remus smiled at her in a way where Lucy knew he wasn't just saying stuff to make her feel better.

"I love you," Lucy said, "I don't say it enough and I probably don't show it but I love you with all my heart and—" Remus kissed her, it was short and sweet but the love he had poured into the kiss made Lucy burn from the inside out.

"I love you too Lucy," he said softly. Lucy didn't get it— needing to remember just why she loved Remus —because she couldn't imagine ever forgetting.

October 17, 1994

Lucy, ever since her mother had passed and she had been granted full access to her family's bank vaults had become nothing short of a philanthropist. She donated money to causes that fought for centaurs and merpeople rights to keep their land and to fight illegal dragon poaching and other illegal types of creature hunting that Barnaby always went on and on about. She also donated money to causes that found cures, whether the cure was for Enyaliohaima, the magical blood disease her cousin Araminta had suffered and died from or for crucius curse or for lycanthropy, it didn't matter to Lucy. She had too much money and too much blood tied to her family's name.

Even before Remus had come into her life Lucy had been donating money to St. Mungos creature induced injury ward; and though Madam Longbottom would never take her money outright Lucy had been funding the Jane Thickey long term care ward since the moment here seventeenth birthday had happened.

It was why she, her brother, the kids if she and Sirius wanted to pull them out of school for the night, and a guest of their choosing had been invited to St. Mungos charity gala. Other rich pureblood would be there, some would donate enough for a new wing the hospital now had the money to build to be named after them, others would be there because their ancestors had created a life saving spell or potion that medwitches around the world used and they were there in their honor, others would be there because they were notable and the hospital needed the recognition.

Lucy, with Dora— whose hair was a short stationary but vibrant pink —and Penny, all of whom did not look like they belonged strolled through the isles of the expensive muggle Oscar de la Renta store in London looking for a dress for the gala. All the way in Diagon Alley Lucy knew Remus would be arguing with Sirius over getting him new dress robes.

While neither Penny nor Dora would be attending with Lucy or Sirius she greatly needed their advice on dress shopping.

"What about this one?" Penny held up a sleeveless dress that looked to be covered in scribbles. The top of the dresses bust was purposefully cut uneven, as if to look like the scribbles were jumping up from the dress itself. The rest of the dress itself faded from the solid black to white while only ever dotted the black through the scribbles spaces.

Lucy pulled a face. The dress was nice but purely from an aesthetic point of view. "No, it doesn't have sleeves."

"What about this yellow one?" Dora pushed a bright yellow, also strapless, dress in Lucy's face, the dresses train stretched across the floor. There was nothing special about the dress except for its eye catching color.

"Do you want me to look like a banana?" Dora, who had to of known that her choice of dress wouldn't of been picked stuck her tongue out in her cousins direction.

The three witches contained to stroll as Dora complained about an Auror on her team named Dwalish.

"—I'm just saying I don't get how Irene can stand having that prat as a partner, Merlin knows if I was paired up with him instead of Kingsley I'd hurt the man," Dora said theatrically, pressing her hands against her chest at the end, as if she'd been stabbed in the heart.

"That's only because he thinks your ability is weird," Lucy told her cousin as she flipped through the dresses on the rack. Every so often she would pull one out and hold it against herself.

"I mean that but also he's a know it all prat who when Sirius was on the run kept trying to bet with people that Lucy had helped him escape."

"What a fucking prat," Lucy replied dryly.

"I know!"

She had nixed the tulle gown that was covered in large orange flowers and the sleeveless green ball gown that looked to be made of a velvety bed comforter that Lucy could find in her childhood home not only because it looked like a blanket turned dress, not just because of its lack of sleeves but because of the low back of the dress. There were also gowns she nixed once she got into the fitting room, ones that had looked amazing on the hanger but just not right on her because of her muscles or height or because the colors didn't mix well with her skin tone.

"This is hopeless," Lucy groaned from behind a fitting room door, with her sweatpants and coat on the floor in the corner, in nothing more than her underwear and a bra the witch threw her head back in annoyance. Her muggle trainers her also off and it was only than against the cold fitting room flooring Lucy felt the bottom of her sock thinning.

"Come on, you'll find a dress," Penny encouraged, "Dora just went with the sales girl to find something for you."

"If you say so all knowing one," Lucy joked. "Hey Penny?"

"Yeah?"

"I—I had a dream a while back, after the kids went off to school, I just—I was a mum. The kids, Theo and Tahani and Harry, they were grown but I was a mother like honest to Ceirce, I pushed these little buggers out of me kind of mother."

"Yeah?" Thought she couldn't see Lucy, Lucy nodded, "I had a little girl and boy, Hope and Regulus."

"Remus was their dad?"

"Hope was his mother's name." Somehow that felt better than fully admitting that yes, in her dream Remus was the father to her children.

"You want a family with him?" Penny questioned.

"No, yes. I don't—I mean the thought of having a child of my own is terrifying but Theo called me mum and ever since then I've been having these dreams and what if it's something I want and something I have but than fuck up monumentally. What if I hurt my own kid? What if I hurt Theo and Tahani?"

"You won't," Penny said.

"But what if—"

"Lucy you won't. You're not your mother, you're not your father or your aunts or your uncles or even your brothers, you're you and the girl I grew up knowing would never hurt someone she cared about. The woman I know rather spend life in Azkaban than let the possibility of something that could hurt the people she loves couture to breath, okay? You're not your mother."

Lucy blinked.

"Right, I'm not my mother." Her voice wavered and Penny hummed from the other side of the door.

"If you did have kids, like gave birth to them—"

"That's not happening," Lucy told the blonde witch, but she thought of the little boy from her dreams and his messy hair and crooked nose and smiled bashful at the wood floor because even as she said that it would never happen part of her did want it to happen.

"Whatever, anyway if you did have kids, you would so name one after me right?" Lucy snorted loudly from the changing room she was in,

"Yeah okay, Penny Never Going To Happen Lupin." Neither she nor Penny commented how if she had a kid they would take Remus' name. Being a Black was more curse than a blessing, no matter what her cousin Cissy would say.

"Wonderful name, ten out of ten, though I would change the middle if I were you," Penny giggled.

"Back!" Dora cried from the other side of the door, "Try these on." The changing room door opened just enough for Dora to slide through a handful of expensive dresses ranging in colors from pink to red to black.

While some of the skirts were more a tulle fabric all of the dresses had opaque sleeves and backs.

"Thanks Dora," Lucy hooked the hangers of the dresses to the door before taking the glittery dark blue chiffon one from the door and slipping it on. The back hung open leaving the shape of the dress to be formless but even so Lucy grimaced at the sight of herself in the mirror.

The dress after that was a shimmering navy lamé mousseline, the floor-sweeping caftan dress was pretty and Lucy was sure she was going to buy it too, but it she wouldn't wear it to gala. The dress reminded Lucy too much of the women from sixteenth century portraits.

The shimmering gold dress after that Lucy couldn't get her hips though and her shoulders were too wide to fit though the cinched waist line. The pink one after that Lucy didn't bother to try on because she didn't like the abundance of flowers but the dress after that, the embroidered black, one Lucy had fallen in love with.

The dress's skirt ended at her calf and the sleeves at her wrists and though the neckline was a wide low square cut, something Lucy had never been crazy about in dresses she loved the neckline on this dress. She could see the scar under her collar bone but Lucy knew with some magic and make up that she cover it.

The embroidered shapes on the dress were outlined in white making them pop and Lucy, with her hair in her hand held her hand up against her skull and raised onto her tippy toes.

She could see herself wearing the dress to the gala.

"Found the dress!"

October 21, 1994

The day after the full moon had never been fun for Remus. Lucy had learned that more often than not the moon left Remus not only tired and sickly but also sometimes with either a broken bone or a new scar. When he had been at Hogwarts and taking wolfsbane all Remus had ever had to truly worry about was the lethargic feeling once the moon past and how to deal with it once his eight am class started

Even after, with Lucy and Sirius supply the wolfsbane potion Penny had spent the month making, and Sirius as Padfoot joining Remus on his monthly excursion life post-moon was better for Remus than it had been for the years he lived after the Potters death, but no matter what potion they gave him or who joined him there would always be some effects that Remus would have to deal with.

With Remus' head curled in her thigh as one hand massaged the top of his head and the other held the book she was reading aloud to him Lucy wished she could do something more for him.

She wanted to cure him, not because she hated him being a werewolf but because he hated it, because what he was hurt him every month and it killed her to see the man she loved tired and sad because of something that wasn't in his control.

"Why do you want me?" Remus wondered, Lucy mid sentence stopped what she was reading and looked at the man.

"What?"

"Why do you want me? You're beautiful and funny and talented and you have more money than the government itself I'm sure so why waste your time on me?" Lucy sainted at him for a moment.

"Because you're one of the best people I've ever met. How could I not love you?"

"I'm a werewolf." The sky was blue, water was wet and the grass was green.

"You're kind. I've met people, was raised by people, who were afforded every opportunity to be good and instead became complete monsters for cruelties sake, you aren't like that. Werewolf or not you're kind, you look at a part of yourself, one you don't like, and you reject it. You say you're going to be better than that part of you and you do so."

"I'm a werewolf."

"That's not something to be ashamed of Remus, no matter what my mother would say if she were alive."

"The way you make me sound, it's like I don't have faults. What if you're not seeing me and one day you do?" Lucy moved so that instead of Remus resting on her thigh she was flat on the bed next to him, their legs tangled together under the sheet.

"You have flaws, I see them. You're scared of commitment and you jump to conclusions, you hold a grudge and trust me when I say you can be passive aggressive and petty." Remus blinked at her, his lips parted, "But out of all of that, what you are, a werewolf, isn't one of those flaws."

"You said you didn't show your love me, or at least you didn't think so," Remus started, "But you do. Maybe you don't shower me in material objects like some people do to their Trophy girlfriends, but you do. In moments like these when all I needed to hear is shut up and get over yourself you go above and beyond to make me see myself through your eyes."

"I don't kiss you like you should be sometimes," Lucy said.

"No?" Remus kissed her, his hand slipped from Lucy's waist and grabbed at her behind as she slid an arm under her neck so she could pull herself up and over him. With both her legs on either side of him Lucy used her tongue to trace the outline of Remus' bottom lip, nipping at the skin every so often before sucking on the abused spot.

Opening his mouth Lucy didn't pound he her tongue in right away, pressing her chest against his and angling herself so that every time he took a breath their hips would meet Lucy focused more on tugging his hair just hard enough for him to enjoy.

When he pulled back, panting and slightly flushed, and with heavy eyelids he smirked at her, "I think you do just fine kissing me love."

"Yeah?" Lucy wanted to know, her nose bumping into his, with a smile he nodded.

"I'm sure though, if you want to make sure I'd be more than happy to help you see so."

October 31, 1994

The day had started off with Sirius already awake waiting for Lucy and Remus in the kitchen. Mixed with his cereal was whiskey not milk and what Remus had poured to mix with his morning coffee had not been creamer but the hard liquor Dora had left the last time she had come over.

It had been thirteen years since James and Lily had been murdered. Tomorrow would be thirteen years since Sirius was thrown into Azkaban.

Lucy knew that by the time the day had ended all she would want to do was go back in time and stop it from happening but she couldn't. Unspeakable were in charge of where Time Tuners were held and they were incorruptible so she and the Black family vault would have to continue on through the day.

Lucy found the paper mostly burnt in the sink and when she caught sight of the name Potter title she didn't bother to ask why Sirius had burnt it and instead moved the charred newspaper to the trash.

"I can stay," Lucy told Remus. The werewolf was in their room under the covers and Sirius, in his dog form, sat curled at the foot of the bed. Lucy ran her hands through Remus' hair. "If you want me to, that is."

"No," Remus shook his head, "You love practice."

"I love you more," Lucy said truthfully and Remus smiled faintly at that. It was weird to say, truthful or not, but Lucy did love Remus more than Quidditch. She loved the Weasleys and the kids more than the sport, Dora and Penny too, but she had never imagined ever loving someone else more than her broom and yet here she was, ready to forgo a day in the air if it meant he was okay.

"Go. Sirius and I are grown men we can take care of ourselves even on a day like today." Lucy nodded.

"Alright. I love you." Lucy could see the ghost of a smile playing on his lips.

"I love you too."

Practice had been good; Lucy had continuously caught the snitch when her coach released it and she had dodged bludger after bludger, not even allowing the magical ball to skim her once, but when she got home and found Sirius the content feeling that had made its home in her chest left and didn't look back.

Going to Sirius first if only because he was in the living room with two whiskey bottles at his feet and a third in his hands Lucy sat her brother down on the sofa. She took the bottle that was in his hands and and paced it next to the empty ones at his feet, take one of the empty ones and filling it with water she handed him that.

"Where's Remus?"

"Moony went to see Jamie. We had an—" Sirius hiccuped, "—We got into it," He slurred. Lucy knew that part of her couldn't be mad because whatever Sirius had said to Remus had only been said because of the alcohol and the grief but another part of her wanted to throttle the older pure blood in front of her.

"What the hell did you two fight about?"

"The fucking rat. I should've known it was bastard, all that sniveling and crying and—" Sirius threw the glass bottle over Lucy's head, smashing it against the wall, causing Lucy to flinch. Sirius got to his feet, his eyes blazing and Lucy threw herself back off the loveseat and scurried to the corner of the room as Sirius, pacing back and forth shouted that he should have had known the Pettigrew was the rat.

It had been obvious! Sirius threw another glass at the same spot he had thrown the first and Lucy, ducking down behind the arm of the couch felt nine again. She shut her eyes and tried to breath because she wasn't nine again. She was a fully grown woman and her mother was dead but when Sirius threw the third bottle at the wall and it shattered loudly all Lucy could see standing in her brothers place was her mother.

Deranged and broken, looking for a dead son and angry at the world with only Lucy to take it out on.

Perhaps the Gods were real, maybe fate was or Lady Luck because at that moment with Lucy's hands on her head, shaking as she screwed her eyes tight, hoping her brother would continued to rant and not catch sight of her— because what if he was more like their mother than anyone had realized —Remus walked in.

Sirius threw his hands in the air angrily as he paced the length of the living room once more but Remus' eyes stayed firmly stuck on Lucy who hadn't bothered to look up at him.

He moved, like a man possessed— like it wasn't him who was in control of his own body —to Lucy and kneeled in front of her. His own breath stunk of alcohol but his eyes were steadier than Sirius' had been. More sober. Lucy looked up over her knees at Remus and her bottom lip quivered, but she didn't cry.

Her chest hammered for air that she couldn't quite take in.

"What happened?" Remus asked gently.

"He threw the bottles," she sneaked. She wasn't nine anymore and Remus wasn't her brother and Sirius wasn't her mother but when Remus slowly and hesitantly reached out to tuck her hair behind her ears she felt it.

"At you?" Lucy shook her head, because even the first one he had thrown had gone past her. Just because it had been in direction hadn't meant he had thrown it at her and Lucy knew her brother well enough to know that intoxicated or not he would never do that to her.

He wasn't their mother.

"No." Remus nodded and turned his head to look over his shoulder sat Sirius,

"Sirius shut the fuck up and sit down." Looking like a lost child Sirius, who had stopped his ranting as soon as Remus had addressed him in a stern and heavy voice Lucy had never heard before, stared at Remus.

"But—"

"No. I'll deal with you in a second but for now sit down." Sirius did as he was told and Remus, with Lucy's hand in his, got the Seeker to her feet. Her knees trembled and though Lucy didn't say she couldn't walk Remus had swept her into his arms.

It was enough for Lucy to burst out crying. She wasn't sure why, no one had hit her nor hurt her in anyway shape or form, Sirius hadn't even raised his voice at her, but she still felt nine and vulnerable.

Lucy only stopped crying when Remus set her down on their bed, kneeling between her legs on the floor he looked up at her, using his thumb to wipe the hot tears falling down her face.

"He didn't do anything," Lucy blubbered.

"Yes he did," Remus told her, "Padfoot will realize what he did when he sobers up."

"He didn't hurt me," Lucy swore and Remus nodded,

"I'm sure he didn't lay a finger on you—But I'm also sure part of him knew what he was doing though, throwing those bottles with you in the room. Growing up once Sirius stopped being the fun drunk we all knew, James included, to clear out."

Remus went to get up only for Lucy to grab at his shoulders, her legs wound him and with wide, wet eyes she held him there.

"Please don't leave," she begged, "Just—" Lucy wasn't sure how long she wanted him there, "Not yet." With a nod Remus moved so that he and Lucy were on the bed facing one another. His fingers traced her cheek bones and the curve of her jaw and the shell of her ear until they were entangled with her black hair.

…

Lucy, no longer wearing her dirty practice uniform but rather a sweater she had stolen from Remus and a pair of sweatpants she constantly slept in, woke up to the tapping of an owl on her bedroom window, with Remus not next to her asleep, but probably— if the sound of laughter was a sign —downstairs with her brother. Sleepily she got to her feet and opened the window.

It wasn't a bird Lucy had ever seen before but nonetheless she pet the owls head, letting her finger run overs it beak.

"Hello there p," Lucy cooed at the bird, "What's your name?" The owl hooted back and stick out it's leg. Smiling Lucy took the note from around the nameless owls ankle and thanked the bird.

There's been an incident.

Lucy froze, her heart stopped beating because it didn't say what the incident had been, which what child the indecent had happened too or how bad the incident had been. Just that there had been an incident.

This had been what Mr. and Mrs. Weasley felt the night Ginny had been taken into the chamber, hadn't it? The chilling ice cold fingers of dread wrapping around their hearts because one of— all of —their kids were hurt and they had no idea what had happened. Who it had happened too, just something had in fact happened.

Not knowing drive people mad and in the few seconds Lucy stood after opening the letter she understood why.

Dropping the note and all but tearing the door off the hinges Lucy ran to wherever Sirius and Remus were. Bursting into the kitchen, startling both me Lucy looked at them, Sirius opened his mouth only for Lucy to hold both her hands up.

"The school wrote, there's been an incident." Blood drained from both Sirius and Remus' faces. It hadn't just been thirteen years since James and Lily had died, it had been thirteen years since Harry Potter had defeated Voldemort.

…

When Lucy, Remus and Sirius arrived, all in their pajamas, in Headmaster Dumbledores office it wasn't just he and Harry who were in the office, but Professor McGongall, Alastor Moody and both Bartimus Crouch and Ludo Bagman, along with two other people— a tall witch who wore a rouge lipstick and too much eyeshadow, and a smaller wizard who wore a fur hat on top his head —as well.

"What the hell happened?" Lucy demanded of Dumbledore as Sirius rushed to Harry. Alastor Moody gapped at Lucy from his corner of the room.

"You'll do well to remember respect Madam Black," Dumbeldore said.

"Lady Black," Lucy corrected, pajamas or not she didn't like Albus Dumbledore and just because the history books called him a modern Merlin didn't mean she was going to roll over and show the man her throat.

Lucy turned to Barty Crouch, "What the hell happened?" She looked at Mcgonagall, "Why were we written a There's been an incident note?"

"My names been put in the Goblet," Harry spoke before the adult could. "I didn't do it."

"We believe you," Sirius told his godson.

Remus looked at the room, "I don't understand why Harry's still here though, his name came out of the Goblet but—"

"He has to compete Remus," Dumbledore said. Both the man in the fur hat and the large woman scoffed.

"He's fourteen Headmaster, he can't compete!"

"His name was chosen from the goblet."

"The rules you sent home stated no one under seventeen could complete, it said we didn't have anything to worry about!" Sirius didn't yell at Albus Dumbledore as Lucy had when she had gone to him about Theo Notts father, but the indignation in his voice was clear. So was the fury in his eyes.

Harry held onto the cuff of his godfathers sleeve for support. He was pale.

"The rules—"

"Show me the rules," Lucy demanded, "I'll find a loophole."

"You won't," Crouch said, not high and mightily but steadily. "I drafted the rules myself, had a goblin help me as well, it's as magically binding as unbreakable vow." Lucy pressed her lips together firmly.

"He's—" Lucy sighed, "Remus maybe you should take Harry in the hall for a minute, just to talk." Remus looked like he wanted to oppose the suggestion but when Lucy shot him a well meaning gaze he nodded and lead Harry out of the room. When the door shut Lucy looked at Crouch.

"Show me the contract—"

"—Crouch already said—"

"—Did I ask you?" Lucy snapped at Moody. Bagman pulled out a roll of parchment from his robes. Lucy laid them out on Dumbledore desk, Sirius read them over her shoulders.

"He's underage," Sirius muttered, "That violates the first rule doesn't it. Doing so makes the contract null in void."

"It's the original cup," Crouch said, "The rules may be updated by the cup is the same one they used the last time the Tournament was played."

"Meaning because there's never been an age limit it wouldn't have mattered if Harry had been eleven as opposed to fourteen?" Crouch nodded.

"Harry didn't enter it himself," Lucy said, "The first rule states that every content that enters must be over the legal age."

"Headmasters can enter for students." Lucy turned to Dumbledore. He gave her a dry look. Handing over the parchment that had come from Goblet it wasn't Harry Potter, Hogwarts the payment had read but rather Harry Potter, Salem Academy for Boys.

"It's the Triwizard Tournament—"

"It's just a name," Bagman told Sirius, "It doesn't matter how many schools compete, as long as it's more than three."

"He's fourteen, end the Tournament and let Harry go from his obligation to fulfill it," Lucy tried to plead. McGongall was the only one in the room who looked fond of the idea.

"There's millions riding on this, trade deals and international business deals we can't talk about with people outside the Ministry," Bagman said, "If we end the Tournament now we have to wait for another year before it'll accept any new tributes."

"You'd risk my godsons life for a sack full of galleons and a trade deal?" Sirius stepped closer to Bagman and Crouch and Bagman stumbled back while Crouch began to eye the rug beneath their feet as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"I'm sure he'll win, he's Harry Potter after all," Bagman chuckled. Lucy wondered if the rest of the room hated Bagman enough to cover for her if she strangled the man to death in front of them or if she would have to wait until they were off school grounds?

With a look at Mcgonagall's face Lucy knew at least someone in the room would cover for her. That is, if she didn't have to cover for McGonagall on whether or not she clawed the ex-Beaters eyes out herself. At least Lucy one adult was on Harrys side when she and Sirius and Remus couldn't be.

a/n: okay so I know I said I would update a few months ago but new year new me, right? Anyway in commemoration of the stories one year anniversary I'll update more this month. So anyway, see you next time!

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