Chapter 16

"Ah, Bruce! It's good to hear from you," Bane said happily as he answered his cellphone in the van with Jason.

"You couldn't tell me you were going to kill Harley's stepdad?" Bruce said flatly, his voice laced with barely hidden rage.

"Bruce…" Bane said, startled. "I… did not want to upset you, my friend," he said, and for the first time since he and Bruce had taken down King Snake together, Bruce heard a quiver of nerves in Bane's voice.

"Oh, you didn't want to upset me because I'm so fuckin' fragile? Is that it?" Bruce asked him, steel tones on attack.

"I did not mean it like that, Bruce…" Bane said, glancing helplessly at Jason, who, while the call wasn't on speakerphone, was listening in with some concern to Bane's side of it as he drove.

"Exactly," Bruce growled. "You didn't mean it like that at all, did you, Bane? Because that's not why you didn't tell me."

"Bruce -" Bane tried to say again.

"You didn't tell me because you knew I'd have an issue with it. We talked about you killing people, Bane!" Bruce snarled. "You promised not to!"

"As Batman, yes, Bruce," Bane said somewhat shakily.

"Right," Bruce said shortly. "Of course. So you felt the need to hide this from me."

"I didn't mean to hurt you, Bruce," Bane said nervously.

"I don't know what's worse," Bruce spat out. "That you wouldn't talk to me about it in the first place or that you automatically assumed that I didn't have the emotional maturity to agree to disagree with you about some things."

"Bruce," Bane said pleadingly, truly floored now at Bruce's accusations and feeling his stomach begin to clench anxiously.

"Because let's think," Bruce went on angrily, "Harley Fuckin' Quinn is living in my house this week and last time I checked, she still kills people whenever the fuck she thinks they deserve it."

"And let's take Jason," Bruce said, gathering steam. "My son. Who has killed God knows how many people as Red Hood and, barely even a month ago, committed one of the largest mass killings the city has ever seen. With Harley's help. And what have I done about it? I invited him to fuckin' dinner and played goddamn Scattergories with him."

"But here's Bane," Bruce continued in bitter anger. "Who doesn't even have the fuckin' courtesy to tell me he's off to kill someone because he thinks, what? I'm too immature to have that conversation?"

"Bruce, no," Bane said in distress. "Truly, I am very sorry, my friend," he said. "I did not mean -" he cut himself off, not knowing what to say.

"Yeah," Bruce said flatly. "I'll see you when you get back," he said shortly, and hung up the phone.

Bane's chest was heaving and there was a lump in his throat and he felt more upset than he had at any point in the last eighteen months since getting sober. And, were those a few tears threatening to fill his eyes? He wiped them away impatiently and sniffed, looking out the window as Jason continued to drive in silence.

After a minute or two, Jason spoke. "You've got it bad, huh?" he said.

"What?" Bane murmured, looking back towards him.

"For Pops," Jason said. "I saw the way you two were looking at each other last night." Bane sighed.

"Well, I suppose I have ruined any hopes of that now," he said dismally, the worst sinking feeling filling his gut as hopelessness started to set into his spirit. "I did not tell him we were on a quest to kill someone, so…"

"So he got mad," Jason said. "When he found out."

"Yes," Bane mumbled again. "I expect he will be firing me as the Batman and asking me to leave his home as soon as we return," he said, and now some tears really were filling his eyes up, and he huffed in frustration as he looked back out the window to try to maintain at least a little dignity in front of Jason.

"No way, man," Jason said reassuringly. "You can work this out."

"I do not see how," Bane muttered.

"Bane, dude," Jason said. "People fight. And make up. All the time. You know how many fights me and Pops have had over the years? Before I got killed," he said. "And even those weren't as bad as things between us these last couple of months. You'll be fine," he said comfortingly.

"I don't know," Bane said.

"You should've seen Pops and Talia go at it when they were together!" Jason said with glee. "Oh, my God, me and Dick and Alfred practically needed to put our Kevlar on just to come out unscathed during some of those."

"Shit, one time Talia grabbed the kitchen knives and started throwing them at Pops while she was screaming at him, and he had to grab a cookie sheet to block them, and then Alfred lost his shit because those were his really good knives, you know? And they were getting banged up hitting the metal like that as hard as she was throwing them, plus they were non-stick cookie sheets and you're not supposed to use metal tools on them, and he actually yelled. Only time in my life I've ever seen him raise his voice."

"Really?" Bane said, a tiny smile starting to creep up at the corners of his mouth.

"Yeah," Jason said, "Alfred said he was quitting and going back to England where he'd find himself a normal family who wouldn't ruin his kitchen equipment. And the fucker actually went upstairs and pulled a suitcase out and started packing."

"No," Bane said disbelievingly, starting to relax a little bit.

"Yup," Jason said. "And Pops followed him up there all upset and couldn't get him to change his mind and then he came back downstairs and started screaming again at Talia that she had to fix Alfred because who was gonna cook for us if he left, because Talia sure couldn't, and then Tals tried to convince him to stay but he got all huffy British on her, so she made me and Dick lock him in his room while she and Pops went out to try to replace all his kitchen stuff, and neither one of them knew anything about cooking but Pops is fuckin' rich, so they just bought all the most expensive shit they could find at some big chain store and when they brought it up to Alfred, he just looked at it and said, 'Oh, dear, someone doesn't know their brands, do they?' and Pops ended up having to call Wolfgang Puck for advice on what to buy him plus they had to totally renovate the kitchen while they sent him on a Michelin restaurant tour of Europe."

"Your kitchen is much more modern than the rest of the Manor," Bane said with a tiny smile as he blinked away a few remaining tears.

"And now you know why," Jason said, nodding at him. "And even then Pops and Talia didn't break up. Shit, they made up while they were out shopping for Al's new knives. Which they had to throw out in the end because Alfred wouldn't even let them return them and subject some other poor unknowing victim to their shoddy quality."

"My," Bane said, looking a little more relieved. "So, you believe that I can work things out with your father, then?"

"Hell, yes," said Jason. "As long as you don't drag Alfred's kitchen into it."

"I will avoid that at all costs," Bane murmured, starting to feel a little better. He sighed. "I have never been in a romantic relationship before," he admitted slowly with a little embarrassment. "Zenmaster Bane, the calm and unflappable one, is feeling completely lost."

"You'll figure it out," Jason said. "I wasn't with anybody until Harley," he said. "I was a kid and then I was a zombie and then I was Red Hood so I wasn't doing much besides hooking up now and then when I got back to Gotham. Although, it's way easier for me to be in a relationship with Harley than it's gonna be for you with Bruce," he grinned. "She's good at shit like that and Pops kind of sucks," he laughed. "But, you know, at least you'll both suck at it together and have to figure it out together, right?"

"I suppose that is a good point," Bane said. "If your father is truly interested in a relationship with me, at all."

"He is," Jason said. "I could see it all over him."

"He has never been with a man, though?" Bane asked him hesitantly.

"No, I don't think so," Jason said. "But I can't see that stopping Pops if he loves you."

"Perhaps," Bane sighed. "One can hope."

"Yeah," Jason said, reaching over to pat his arm. "One can hope."

Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce was growling and pacing angrily in his study, and the stupidest part of it was that tears were starting to fall down his cheeks. Tears. He was crying over a fuckin' argument. That wasn't even his fault! He was totally in the right, for a change, and he was the one crying. What the hell, Bruce thought in frustration. What. The. Hell.

He sniffed as Bane's NFHF bracelet on his wrist caught his eye, and with a disgusted - but also despairing - grunt, he pulled it off and shoved it into his pants pocket. He sat down heavily on the edge of his couch and leaned his elbows forward on his knees, holding his head in his hands and wondering why the fuck he was losing his shit and feeling at the same time like his heart was hollowing out.

I don't want this to destroy us, he suddenly thought to himself. Well, that was interesting. Bruce wasn't in the habit of being the bigger man, ever, or the first one to reconcile after a fight, but… maybe after they'd spent the week apart and both calmed down… maybe then he could try to work through this with Bane. We're both too upset now to work it out, anyway, he thought, deciding that his plan to wait was a good one.

And in the meantime, he had to deal with Harley's fuckin' Suicide Squad, and Amanda Fuckin' Waller, and… Bruce frowned. He picked his cellphone up again and dialed a number.

"Bruce?" Dick's voice answered hesitantly.

"Hi, son," Bruce sighed.

"Um, hi," Dick said, sounding fairly surprised at both the term of endearment and the call itself.

"We need to talk," Bruce said. "Can you come over tonight?"

"Sure, ok," Dick said, slightly nervously. "Is everything ok?"

"In life in general? Sure," Bruce said. "Between us? Hell, no, and I'm tired of it. We need to work it out for once and for all. I don't want to keep fighting with you anymore."

"Oh!" Dick said, sounding fairly stunned and a little scared, too, if Bruce listened really carefully. "Um… Babs kind of said the same thing," he admitted a little sheepishly.

"Yeah, well, she's a smart woman," Bruce said with a sigh. "Bring her over with you, will you? I haven't seen her in awhile. She and Harley can hang out while you and me talk and then we can have coffee or dessert together and play a game with the kids."

"Um, ok," Dick said in confusion, wondering if he had fallen into an alternate universe. "Wait - Harley?" he said.

"Oh, yeah, she and Jason got married," Bruce said. "Me and Jason are working things out and Harley's staying here this week while he's out of town."

"Oh-kayyy," Dick said slowly.

"Oh, and I need to catch you up on some things about Batman and the patrols and all that. After we work things out between us tonight," Bruce said. "Just so you're in the loop."

"Ok," Dick said again, looking at the phone strangely. "Well, I guess… we'll see you tonight, then, Bruce," he said. "After dinner?"

"Sure," Bruce said. "See you then." He sighed to himself as Dick got off the phone with him, but a peaceful feeling starting to swell outwards from his chest. Tight coils of tension that he'd been holding onto for years felt like they were slowly unspooling and giving him space to breathe a little bit easier, and it was a pretty damn good feeling.

Maybe I won't be a shit parent forever, after all, Bruce thought to himself with a little bit of pride as he stood up to return to the BatCave, ready to team up with his daughter-in-law to blackmail Amanda Waller. And maybe I won't be alone forever, either, he thought to himself, starting to get an inkling of an idea of why his fight with Bane had upset him so badly. He sighed again.

It wasn't the happiest feeling at the moment given what had just happened between them, but… Maybe we can work it out, Bruce thought. And he actually believed it.