A/N: Thanks so much to all of you for giving me a much needed month break from this story! I had a great holiday season with family and friends and have been slowly piecing this chapter together as it has the most flashbacks on any chapter thus far.

Also since leaving this story be for a moment, we passed over 10,000 views! This is only my 2nd story to reach this milestone, so I am eternally grateful to you all for the support and encouragement.

A lot of this chapter is a conversation back and forth between Alison and her divorce attorney, but it airs out a lot of the major themes for the rest of the story, so that we can start making our way toward complete understanding of the kind of ground Emily and Alison came out standing on when Alison was released from jail. Enjoy!

*Edit: I found a continuity error while re-reading through this and had to edit a minuscule part of the first flashback and some of the last flashback, as well as a portion of Chapter 4. Thank God I keep timelines of my stories that I was able to look back on for clarity. Thanks!*

Alison needed answers. Not the kind found in less than a second on a search engine. Not the ones that are kept hidden within a book that just needs to be opened. And certainly, not the answers that Emily Fields was demonstrating to be incapable of forming. But for as long as Alison had been in her wife's life, all she ever needed was a push. A simple, yet unexpected step forward off of a platform headed toward definite decision would force Emily to figure it out. At least that what Alison hoped.

After everyone left Christmas Day, Alison realized that she hated the word choice. It indicated the preference of an object. A one-sided transaction. Not a desire to be. To care for. To nurture. To cherish. Alison wasn't a choice. Emily was not going to be able to select her. That is if Alison had any say. It was her biggest issue with all that had deluged her marriage since returning home. As draining as Emily's decisions were, none destroyed her as much as not knowing what was going on while she was gone. Emily had ripped away Alison's ability to decide for herself. She had ruined all they had built together without Alison realizing she was even in a demolition zone.

So all Alison wanted was to take back some control. All she desired was to put Emily on similarly rocky footing. She wanted her wife to be as shell shocked as Alison was the moment she saw that gold band on Emily's ring finger. And though Alison didn't want a divorce to be even a potentiality, she knew the only way to move forward for her own well-being was to kick Emily when she wasn't looking. A step Alison never would've been able to take before.

After their college graduations and Alison's move to Philadelphia to support Emily in obtaining her Masters, Emily and Alison began spending as much of their days as they could together. Though they had only been long distance for less than 6 months, there were building a foundation they were unable to cement apart. Of course, it was beneficial that the two had been friends for such an extended period before starting a relationship. But along with that comfortability came barriers of friendship that had to be broken down.

Saturday mornings were for laziness. Though Alison typically exuded a constant desire to go, go, go, she welcomed the pause of Saturday. She appreciated the calm that came from laying in Emily's arms without a care in the world. Their bodies tangled together, leaving few openings to decipher where Alison ended and Emily began, other than Emily's distinguishing olive skin.

"Can we stay like this forever?" Alison's whisper echoed through Emily's eardrum as they lay silently, yet peacefully in their bed.

"Of course." Emily fully turned to face her girlfriend, wanting the glow of Alison's bright blue eyes to radiate through her skin. She placed her nose on Alison's, tracing up and down the bridge with the very tip of hers. Just like her touch, their relationship was still delicate. Still had ebbs and flows that were not fully fleshed out. Emily tenderly placed a lingering kiss on Alison's lips before tracing her nose once more. "I love you."

Alison sighed, tucking her toes underneath Emily's calves, "I love you. How am I so lucky?"

"Because you take the chances I would never think of taking." Emily smiled, brushing a tendril of Alison's blonde locks from in front of her freckle-faced glow.

"You know, I've never asked about that day…" Alison paused to prop herself up on her elbow. "What did you actually think when I kissed you? I mean, your 'woah' was fairly universal, but I'd love to get more into the mind of my beloved Emily Fields."

Emily snickered, tucking her chin into her neck in shyness, "You've been stunning since 6th grade, Ali. But until December, you had always seemed unattainable. You're always so sure of yourself, so confident, so enamoring. I had settled in my head that being close to you, being in your presence would have to be enough. So when you brought me into you… well, it was magnetic. It was unlike any other kiss I've been a part of. You kissed me with care. And other than 'woah,' all I could think when our kiss deepened was 'finally.'"

Alison smirked as she drew closer into Emily, "It was something like this, right?" She placed her fingers delicately below Emily's chin before slowly tracing Emily's lips with her own. She waited to feel Emily's neck arch up to meet her further before gently nibbling on her lower lip. Emily moaned into Alison's mouth as their kiss became more intense. Their hands roaming for each other as they were still learning the patterns and frequencies of each other's bodies.

Pulling away, Emily bit her lower lip as their eyes reconnected, "It was something like that."

"It was the best decision I ever made, Em. I hope you know that. I was waiting for someone like you to come along but forgot to look right in front of me."

"Me too, Al. If I had known you were coming, I would've waited forever. Fuck everyone else; it's always been you."

Alison looped her fingers in the top of Emily's t-shirt as she crashed their lips back together, ecstasy surging through their veins. And as they began getting carried away, Alison mumbled against her girlfriend's lips, "Finally…"

On the first Thursday of the New Year, Alison walked into Hastings, Miller, & Hastings Law Firm 20 minutes before her scheduled appointment. She adjusted her ironed skirt and blouse, ensuring to tousle her curls to appear lightly disheveled before the elevator doors opened to floor 3.

"Good morning. Can I help you?" the woman at the opposite end of the room stood to greet her. She was new. Well, at least since the last time she had stepped foot into this building over two years ago.

"Hi. I don't have an appointment on this floor, but I'm here to talk to Spencer. We… well, she's one of my best friends."

"Yes, of course. Let me check to see if she's free." The doe-eyed, porcelain-skinned brunette hesitantly pushed her chair in as she walked to Spencer's door, opening it slowly. "And you are, again?" she asked back over her shoulder.

"I'm Alison. Alison DiLaurentis," she spoke loudly, hoping Spencer would hear.

"Oh, Jesus Christ!" she heard Spencer groan from inside of her office. "Ali, come in!" They made eye contact as Spencer kept talking, "While you're standing there, meet my new executive assistant. This is Cassandra. Cassandra, Alison. You always let her in; she's a blue."

Alison extended her hand, "Alison. Nice to meet you."

"Cassie. You too. And yes, Ms. Hastings. I will make that note. She's a blue."

"A blue?" Alison asked as Cassie closed the door behind them.

"Yeah, it's a color system I created a long time ago. Red, always a no. Yellow, buzz me but probably "in a meeting." Blue always allowed but must wait if I have a meeting. Green always allowed, free to interrupt."

Alison sat across from her best friend, trying to not wrinkle her skirt once again, "So who's green if I didn't make the cut?"

"Mom, Dominic, and Wren." Alison nodded as she dug through her purse, anxiously, "You're going to be okay, Al. This needs to happen."

"Does it?" she looked up, desperately seeking reassurance.

"Of course it does. Emily has you held in some damn torture chamber and is expecting you to stay in there like fucking Schrodinger's cat or some bullshit."

"Schroding – oh whatever. I'll be here all day if I ask for clarification. I just – I'm going to hurt her."

Spencer scoffed, "You are going to hurt her? That's fucking rich! You're just bringing back a part of yourself that's been dormant for a while. As much as you were a total bitch in high school, I kind of miss it. Ar and I are ready to see her in action again."

"I'm sure you'll end up being mildly disappointed then. I've never wanted to hurt, Em. That's why I'm tip-toeing."

"You can't tip-toe through divorce, Alison. By the way, my mom can definitely help you after this first meeting if needed, but I should definitely stay out of all of this from here on out. I'd like to remain as impartial as possible."

Alison's phone alarm went off, signaling 5 minutes until her meeting, "You? Impartial? Yeah, right. I have to head upstairs, though, Spence. Thanks for getting me this spot; I know he's usually booked solid."

"Anything for you, Ali. Just answer his questions, and he'll get you all sorted out."

Alison walked back through the foyer, waved 'Bye' to Spencer's assistant, and cautiously waited for the elevator to come back to the 3rd floor. She desperately exhaled as she hit the 5th floor, simply labeled 'Miller.' And as she stepped out, he was already waiting by the desk for her.

Dominic Miller was always dressed sharply, fitting the cutting edges of his always freshly shaped beard and slicked back black hair. He had always terrified Alison from afar, despite having a consistently welcoming smile.

"Ms. DiLaurentis." He announced, walking toward her, hand already extended.

"Mr. Miller. Thank you for this."

"Of course, and please, call me Dom."

"Okay, great." She chuckled, "I'm Alison."

"Alison. Love that name. Come on in." He ushered her into his office as he continued speaking, "Today's meeting is quite simple. I just have a series of questions for you so that we can draft the serving papers. Today is not about the story; it's purely factual. We can get into the story more should we go to court."

"Court?"

"Yes. If your spouse decides to argue any of our proposals or argue against the divorce itself, we are required by law in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania to go to court."

Alison ran her hands through her hair desperately, beginning to panic at every step she hadn't yet considered. She hadn't stepped foot inside of a courtroom since the day of her sentencing. Courtrooms had never been too keen on Alison DiLaurentis.

"Does that sound okay, Alison?"

"Sure." She gulped down the vomit she felt creeping up her esophagus.

"This will be a lot of call and response. So, please go with me. To confirm, you currently live in the state of Pennsylvania?"

"Yes."

"As does your spouse?"

"Yes. My wife. Emily."

"And you both have lived here for over six months." He continued as I nodded, "Great. Why are you divorcing Emily? Also, did you have a pre-nuptial agreement?"

"I guess the court-ordered term would be irreconcilable differences. And no, we did not."

"From what Spencer briefed me on, though, your wife is currently engaged to someone else?"

"Yeah… I recently got out of jail. Long story. And, yes."

"Right." Dominic nodded, "The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania v. DiLaurentis. I knew your name sounded familiar." He cleared his voice before continuing, "Those would be considered grounds for adultery, Ms. DiLaurentis."

"Typically, yes. But from my research, that cannot be filed as we currently have a separation agreement."

"Legally separated. Great to know. Do you happen to have that document on you?"

"Yes, of course." Alison pulled out her small blue folder from her purse. "I had this drawn up by Veronica while I was in prison. All aspects of the separation are currently being followed in full."

"Perfect, and how long have you and Emily been separated?"

"1 year, 1 month, and 21 days. But when I got home last month, we did live together for a few weeks before Emily moving back in with her mother."

"Pardon the question, but this is all for legal documentation purposes. During those weeks spent living together, did you two have sexual relations at all?"

"No, sir. We did not."

"Is there any scenario in which Emily would state that you had?"

"I mean, no. It would be a lie."

"I understand that, Alison. But if even doubt can be established by Emily, then we must reset the waiting period for divorce. That would make you both eligible for divorce two years from Emily's move out date."

"She shouldn't, no. It would be a lie, but it would also tell her fiancée that she cheated. Even though she didn't. Needed to clarify that. Again."

"Understood. And children. Do you share any minors between your homes?"

"Yes, one. Olivia. She is one and a quarter."

"And how does she currently spend her time between the two of you?"

"She lives with Emily and my mother-in-law. I come over to visit every day for hours at a time."

"Would you like that arrangement to change at all as a part of this divorce?"

"Yes, sir. I would like 50/50 joint custody."

"I understand. Is there a chance that Emily would contest that request?"

"It will be the point of most contention, yes. But I think it's incredibly reasonable."

Dominic nodded, adjusting his papers before continuing, "Again, I have to ask. But considering you recently were released from jail, I assume you have some terms of parole."

"Yes, sir. Two years where I cannot leave the state. I also am unable to drive for six months until I pass a series of consecutive blood alcohol tests, and I meet with a parole officer twice a month."

"You do understand that the terms of your parole will make your case for custody a difficult one?"

Alison's face dropped, "Why is that? The blood alcohol tests won't be an issue. I haven't consumed any substantial amount of alcohol since college."

"Aside from your son's baby shower and the day of your accident, correct?"

She pinched in the inside of her cheek with her molars, detesting the fact that her past might come back to haunt her another time.

"And that's not to mention the public record from your trial? The previously closed case out of Massachusetts?" Dom continued. "Sorry. Like I said, I was familiar with your case."

"That – that. I mean, even during trial, it was never meant to be a released offense."

"Refresh my memory then, how in the world did a case in a state that does not share driving offenses get released into the court of law?"

Visitor's Weekend at Boston University couldn't have come faster for Alison, who, in her senior year of high school, was bursting at the seams to escape. Her life was a double-edged sword of inconsistency and strife. Exemplifying the ideal image of being put together away from home while falling into the bottle nightly in attempts to escape the perfection she had crafted only hours before, had turned Alison into a semblance of who she had dreamed of being going into college.

Driving the 5 hours to her new beginning gave Alison a new lease on life, even though she still had to drag her mother along in the passenger's seat. Passed out from her binge the night before, Mrs. DiLaurentis was there in body but definitely not spirit. The caveat of needing to have an adult during Visitor's Weekend was Alison's biggest nightmare. She knew that despite going to Boston University was a near given, she still had the strongest desire to make a good impression across campus.

With this in mind, though, Alison got into her own head. It's not to say that Alison blacked out across the course of her weekend. Still, if she had to recollect the story today, she would electively leave out the worst parts of her cautionary tale. All she could clearly remember was the off-campus sorority party her mother and she showed up to already intoxicated based on witness statements. As the night continued, it quickly became apparent that her mother was unable to maintain her composure, and Alison's first instinct was to run.

It was only a 3-mile drive back to their hotel room from the party, but it also only took 1 mile of that drive for Alison to be pulled over. With her mother passed out in the front seat nearly unresponsive to the police officers series of questions, and Alison lucid but blowing a blood alcohol content level of .06, there was no choice but for the officer to arrest them both. Though Alison blew below the legal limit, any presence of alcohol in her system was illegal as an underaged drinker.

Alison's father showed up less than 12 hours later, ranting and raving in the police station. His voice palpitated down the concrete walls toward the drunk tank Alison and her mother had been stored in. And though Alison never truly comprehended precisely how it happened, after a few tense weeks where it was unsure what the repercussions for her dumb mistake would be, it was never mentioned in her household again. And no consequences followed her to college.

Her parents refused to acknowledge it, and Jason forced Alison to move in with him later on, so he could make sure she didn't fuck up her life any further. For Alison, though, it was a small price to pay compared to the potential of jail time, fines, or even her scholarship being taken away. So since then, she had done all that she could to not ruin a good thing when she had it.

"So, it got closed then?" Dom asked, crossing his legs to consider the story once more.

"Yeah, it was. I was a minor, and my parents made it relatively disappear because I was about to start college there. I was asked not to say anything to anyone, but of course, told my friends, who remained fully tight-lipped for years… but then Emily took the stand at my trial."

"She was one of your character witnesses, correct?"

"Yes, sir. And when asked about my previous struggles with alcohol, considering I blew a .06 on the day in question –"

"She mentioned the closed case, didn't she?" Dominic sighed in front of me.

Alison nodded, feeling the same pangs in her heart from that day of trial. "She was just trying to give the best recount she could of the facts. She didn't know that it would reopen the public record. I can't blame her for it."

"I remember now. It changed much of the course of your trial."

"That compounded with the drinks at the shower and my drinks the day of 'formed an undeniable and dangerous pattern for the jury'… at least that's what the judge referred to it as at sentencing. I shouldn't have had to serve time in the first place. It should've been an involuntary manslaughter charge with an additional civil trial."

"JUDGE CHOOSES TO SET EXAMPLE IN DILAURENTIS TRIAL." Dominic waved his hand across his eye as though seeing the headline in his eye once more.

I nodded, "7 years, $5,000 fine, and over $500,000 in restitution for Chance Baker's life."

Dom and I sat in silence as he waded through my story. "How does Emily feel?"

"Insanely guilty. I served my time. I'm a better woman and mother because of it. But Emily considers herself at fault for the accident, for the sentencing, for all of it." Alison's head fell to her chest, "I think it's why she wanted to separate. She couldn't look at me behind that glass without feeling like she was the sole cause. Em would never say that was the reason for our separation. To this day, though, she can't look at me without a tinge of regret shining through her eyes."

"Understood. We got off track a bit, Alison. I meant for today to only be about the facts."

"Right, right. I'm sorry. It's hard to get to this step without having all of that other mess behind us, though."

He affirmed Alison before continuing through her thought, "For any reason, do you deem Emily to be an unfit mother?"

"No!" Alison asserted rather heavy-handed after reflecting back on her trial. She coughed to bring herself back down to their conversation, "I don't care for her fiancée."

"Is your daughter in harm's way under her care?"

"I would hope not. But no, I wouldn't believe so."

"Then her fiancée is a non-sequitur to this settlement. Would there be a financial settlement?"

"Yes. I am the partial owner of my family's trust, which appreciates interest and funds monthly. As a part of our marriage, Emily signed into the trust. It is an agreement indicating that in the case of a divorce, she only has access to the funds appreciated throughout the marriage and not the trust in its entirety."

"I understand. How many people have current access to the trust?"

"My father. My brother. His wife, Aria. Emily. And myself."

"What is the percentile access for each accessor?"

"My father has 50% ownership, while Jason and I each own 25%. As a part of our marriage agreements, we each signed over 10% to our partners, with access solely to interest accrued."

"Yes, of course. And how much interest has the trust accrued over the past 4 years?"

I passed him the documents as I spoke, "A little over 20 million dollars."

His eyebrow raised as he tried to continue through his questions swiftly, "So, Emily has access to?"

"10 percent of that interest. At least 2 million dollars."

"Is that something you would like to argue?"

"Not at all. In fact, I would like for the amount to be increased, if possible."

"I'll write down that it's something you are willing to do, but I think it would be best if our initial write-up did not involve more money. Most likely, Emily will come back requesting more, and we can adjust based on her request. Does that sound alright?"

"I get that. I don't want her to think that I'm unwilling to give her an amount I believe she deserves, though. Knowing her fiancée, she will easily turn that against me. Could we start at 3 or 4 million so that she may be more lenient for the custody agreement? I want this to be as amicable as possible."

"We can start with 3, then. I believe that's all I really need from you today, Alison. Do you have any other questions or anything you'd like for me to add?"

"When will she be served?"

"In 7-10 days, depending on the courier service. But I will be finishing up the paperwork to send off to a judge by tomorrow afternoon. I'd say late next week? Wednesday through Friday?"

"Okay… Please treat us both with care, Dom. Neither of us deserves to be going through this, and I'm starting these proceedings to hopefully gain some movement behind my wife's words. She's honestly the best woman I've ever met. She's just lost right now."

"I hate to break it to you, Ms. DiLaurentis, but divorce won't help you find her."

"I appreciate the concern, but I disagree. You don't know her like I do."

The past few months of Emily and Alison's relationship had been tumultuous and painstakingly challenging to process. Since moving back to Rosewood and buying a home, both women struggled to determine exactly where they were headed and how they each fit into each other plans and ideals.

"It's not that hard to understand, Ali. I want us to move forward too, but I don't think I can do that here. How the fuck do I use my experience financing commercial real estate if Rosewood doesn't even have a commercial downtown? Would it really be that detrimental for us to move back to Philly?"

"We're settled here, though! I mean, we discussed this. We agreed. We bought a house! I wouldn't want to move again and change everything up when you're not even sure you want us to get married. Why would I move again with you if you can't even make your mind up on us?"

"I have made my mind up. I love you today, and I know I'll love you tomorrow. Isn't that enough?"

"Not if you want us to pack up our lives again and move to Philly!" Alison plopped onto the couch, sick and tired of being caught in this endless cycle again and again. "We spent so long deciding our next best step together and now after only a few months, you're reneging."

Emily sat down next to her, wrapping Alison's hand between hers, "You know I want to fix this."

"I do, too, but we're caught at a crossroads that neither of us is willing to compromise on. I thought this move was us heading toward a more permanent commitment."

"And I don't want to form a permanent commitment until we know that we both can build a stable foundation for our future."

"We have a foundation…" Alison stared at her girlfriend, desperately seeking her eyes.

Emily sighed, looking up at her, "Your trust is your foundation. It's not mine. I know we could never work again if we really didn't want to, but I can't live my life sitting around all day. We moved here with the hopes that I would be able to be okay building out our lives without a job. But I need to put my passions to use. It's been long enough; I need to try to do what I love."

"You are what I love." Alison moped, pouting.

"Come here." Emily danced her thumb across Alison's cheek as she pulled her in for a kiss, "You are the cutest. I love you too, Al. More than anything."

"I need a commitment." Alison kissed Emily's temple.

"And I need more stability first."

Alison nodded, "Then we have to break up…" she let the words hand like a cloud over their living room.

"What?"

"It's non-negotiable for me, Em. I don't just want you just today or tomorrow. I want you forever, and I know that we can be happy here. I don't want to fuck up the consistency we already have. I want to marry you, and I will tell you that from now until forever. If you can't do the same and you really think that moving somewhere else together will give you that clarity, then we have to break up. Either you know we're meant to be, or you're unsure."

"I can't believe you." Emily stood up from the couch, wringing out her hands, "I know that you moving to Philly was a lot. You took that leap after us only dating for 6 months. And I did the same for you when you wanted to move back home because I knew how much our relationship was worth it. I knew that then, and I know it now. But being here isn't what I expected. I want to progress for myself and now, you won't do the same for me? But then say you want to break up because I simply want to take a chance on my own abilities and not solely depend on you? I just don't get it."

"I need answers, Emily! I'm not going to spend the next year wondering if you might be ready for marriage in the future. We've spent the past two years headed to what I thought was the same end goal. I just want to know that's still in the cards."

"In an ideal world, you are the only person in the cards. You've been the only person for over a decade, Al. I don't know what I have to do or say to convince you that in an ideal world, I would never let you go." Emily smirked, walking toward her girlfriend, hoping that her words were convincing enough to drop the argument altogether. "At the same time, though, this world is not ideal. Our lives will not be perfect, and your belief that having a commitment means nothing will ever be fucked up in our relationship again is seriously flawed."

"But…"

"But for you, I'll always be in."

She sighed, snapping herself out from her memory. The only thing scarier to Emily than commitment and dedication was the thought of being alone. The thought that Alison may have somehow gained the courage over the past 8 years to actually move on without her.

"I need answers. And all she needs is a little push." And with that, Alison sauntered out the door, more unsure of herself than she had been in weeks.

A/N: Hope you all enjoying gaining Alison's insight into sending that divorce proceeding to Emily. Next chapter will entail Emily's reaction and the turmoil that is bound to come from all of that.

As always, Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.

Can't wait to see what 2020 brings these two. (Though it's technically 2019 in the story currently... semantics!)

- secretpen28