-All right be prepared for some cursing suicidal thoughts s actions and drug use this is The Italy chapter that may trigger.

The house was quiet. Italy pondered this as he sat down next to the unconscious United States. Matthew and France and England had volunteered to go the the ration market that day. Poland, Estonia and Denmark where playing uno downstairs and Sweden had volunteered to cook dinner. China was his normal quiet self and still hadn't left his room outside of dinner. Switzerland had said he was going on a walk. Italy sighed. He had volunteered to watch after America but the silence was getting to him. He studied the ever young features of the Americans face. Alfred's smile was missed dearly.

"You know Alfred Do you remember that only a while ago our roles where reversed. You sat with me when I was totally knocked out. I remember waking up and you tried to hide that you ate my jello." Italy closed his eyes in remembrance. "You saved me. I don't think I ever properly thanked you for it." He words met the silence of Alfred's sleeping face. "Thank you America. Just thank you...sorry I didn't mean to start crying..it is just you saved me but right now I don't think anyone can save me from dying." Italy rubbed a hand across his face. He thought back to that time the pain, the fear and the shame.

———

Italy stood on the edge. Below him thousands of people tiny like ants living their lives around him. He needed to let go. To die was his wish but he knew even if he flung himself off the tallest skyscraper he would live. Back home his country was strong but right now he didn't feel strong. All he wanted to join Holy Rome and forget the pain, Forget the hands that had touched him so long ago. Forget the mafia he couldn't stop. the mafia that killed the young America's citizens. His body felt light. Was he high? He couldn't remember his body felt the drug but his mind was in to much pain to let himself feel the forced happy ness. Why was he here? Ah that was it to jump. Jump and fly maybe he wouldn't die maybe he would at least be able to let out the pain on the ride down. If this half baked plan worked, would anyone notice? What would Romano say? Romano is not here. What about Germany? He has saved you enough. There was no one to tell him to stop and he didn't want to. Just let go.

"No."

Italy turned and behind him he saw America. No you can't stop me. Please let me die. Italy's thoughts spiraled around him.

"Italy please get down."

"No!"

"Italy please this isn't right." America reached a hand out to him.

"Go away."

"No I won't. Don't jump please don't jump."

"I have to." Italy roared.

"Why?" America desperately asked.

"You are to young to understand."

"Screw that tell me anyway."

Italy stared at the boy who even though had tears stuck in his eyes was smiling a carefully hopeful smile. Italy sniffed, "I don't know why. I just don't want to be anymore." Wind whipped at his hair. "Let me jump please."

The young American carefully stepped forward. "Please..Feliciano..I don't want to add another death to my name. You have so much to live for think of Romano and Germany. Please I know things are bad. I am so sorry god this is my fault. I am so sorry just don't try to die please." Alfred was crying now. "Please so many people love you. Don't let my country's depression effect you."

Italy held on to the wire that was keeping him from jumping. That was right America was in economic turmoil. But he didn't get it. It was Italy's fault. He had been unable to stop the mafia. "No it not you it's not..."

"It is okay. Please Italy. I can't watch another person jump...blame me...hate me but God don't jump don't."

Italy was surprised he didn't realize that America cared so much. "I have to. It will make me forget. I want to forget."

Italy couldn't take it. He started to let go. Right before gravity took control of him he felt strong arms wrap around his middle. America heaved Italy back over to the side of the living. Italy felt like a rag doll as Alfred hugged him tightly. The American was whispering softly words of comfort as the Italian cried fighting him to get back to the ledge. "I wanna forget. I wanna forget." Italy cried.

"Shh..it okay you're okay you're okay." America whispered expertly holding Italy as far away from the edge of the building. Italy trashed.

"Please let me forget." He sobbed. He went limp in America's arms exhausted from fighting. Alfred inspected him for injuries.

"Fuck. You are high. Italy look at me please look at me."

Italy rolled his head to stare at Alfred. "Let me..." he whispered.

"How much heron are you on." Alfred desperately held his face. "I am so sorry.

"I wanna forget." Italy whispered.

Alfred picked the loopy nation up and carted him down stairs. "Just hang on I am gonna get you to a hospital."

————-

Smoothing Alfred's pillow, Italy remembered how Alfred had stayed by his side the whole time as Doctors rushed around him in the hospital. How Italy had told him what one of his citizens had done to him with whispered cries. How Alfred had even called and paid for Romano to sail over to come and help him. How he had let them stay in his home as Romano desperately tried to take care of Italy's withdraws. Alfred had been there through it all had held his hand before walking into therapy had comforted Romano when the stress of handling Feliciano's sometimes angry outbursts got to much.

"Remember when I asked you why you had helped me so much? Remember what you said." Italy smiled. "You said That everyone needs a chance. That I needed help so you gave it. That it was what anyone would have done." Italy held Alfred's limp hand. "I tell you now America. You did more than anyone had ever tried before. You brought my smile back even Romano didn't know how to do that. I promise that I will try to bring Matthew's smile back. I promise this to you." Italy squeezed America's hand. "Thank you."