Chapter 18 - Rejection

Hermione had completed transfiguration of about a quarter of her pile of letters when she realized something. She straightened slightly and gasped softly. Beside her, Malfoy glanced up from his own work to stare, clearly waiting for her to speak. "We've made a mistake," she said. His eyes narrowed just slightly, and she sighed, knowing he expected her to elaborate. "These letters… they establish that we were writing each other, but that won't be enough."

Malfoy frowned slightly in confusion and then cringed as he realized what she meant. "You're right. We're friendly enough in them, I suppose, but no one reading these would assume you fancied me."

Hermione hung her head in her hands. "I'll have to write a confession, and you'll have to reject me, of course." She bit her lip, studying the desk in front of them a moment, then reached out for a fresh piece of parchment. "I'll get started."

Malfoy raised his right brow at her and smirked. "I never thought you would be so eager to write a confession to me, Granger," he teased.

"Shut it. I'm nervous enough as is. I have no idea what I'm doing. I've never written a confession in my life," Hermione fussed, looking down at the blank parchment with trepidation. "I've never confessed at all. How does one start?"

Malfoy gaped. "How'd you end up with those blokes then? Krum? McLaggen? Weasley?" he asked her, ignoring her question.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Really, I didn't know you paid such close attention to my love life, Malfoy. They asked me, of course. What of you? Have you got any experience in this?"

Malfoy snorted. "Malfoys don't confess."

Hermione raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Too afraid of rejection?" she asked him. Malfoy merely glared at her. Hermione smiled down at him.

"What's your excuse then, Granger?" Malfoy asked, sneering at her.

Hermione looked back down to the empty sheet of parchment and cleared her throat. "My studies were more important."

"Riiiiight," Malfoy said dryly. "Well, go on, confess your fascination for me so that I can get about rejecting you."

"You really know how to inspire a girl's affection, Malfoy," Hermione said. The corner of her mouth twitched downward as she tried to figure out what to write. Did she address him as Malfoy even in a confession? "This will make it look like I was cheating on Ron," she realized out loud.

Malfoy shrugged. "He was planning to break up with you anyway, Granger."

Hermione scowled at him. "That's not the point, Malfoy. I'm not the kind of coward who would start something new without ending my prior relationship."

Malfoy blinked at her and tilted his head slightly, scanning her as if he never quite saw her before. "I suppose that does rather fit with the Gryffindor bravery model." He leaned forward onto the desk, putting himself more into Hermione's space than she was entirely comfortable with, and tapped his jaw. After a moment, he froze and slyly glanced up at her, a wicked gleam in his eyes. "That's it."

"What's it?" Hermione asked, not at all certain what Malfoy was about.

"Your confession," he said, splaying a hand out toward her with the palm up. "You didn't outwardly flirt in the letters because you were committed to Ron, but you found you couldn't resist me and my delectable arse, and therefore your confession was that you would be breaking up with Weasley when he came to visit and hoped to speak with me afterward."

Hermione rolled her eyes at his inclusion of his arse, but his idea had merit. She found herself leaning forward on the desk as well, elbows touching Malfoy's. "So I wouldn't be seen as cheating that way, and Ron would be led to believe I had been planning to dump him at the same time he ended up dumping me." The corners of Hermione's lips curled up, and she tilted her head to face Malfoy's. "I can't argue it's tempting," she said, looking into his clever silver eyes. He was very close, and his warmth drew her to close her eyes and lean in just a hair.

She felt his warmth withdraw, and she sighed slightly as she opened her eyes to see him leaning back against his chair and studying her with intense curiosity. "Well," he said and cleared his throat. "If there's no argument, let's go with it. We need this done tonight, remember?"

"Right, sorry," Hermione said. She looked back down at the parchment, wrapped her head around the idea that this confession would be a first disclosure of intention regarding her feelings and breaking up with Ron, and set to work.

Malfoy,

I loved your input on the vampire crisis in the East. I definitely need to read more on the subject to catch up with you, and I hope you will be kind enough to loan me some of the books you referenced from your private collection.

However, I must confess my mind is elsewhere as I write you and has been for a few weeks now. The more we correspond, the more I wish we could spend time together in person as well. I've come to feel rather strongly about you, Malfoy. I hope you will do me the honor of hearing me out following dinner on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. I will be explaining things to Ron first, of course. Regardless of your response, it's clear that things there are over and have been for some time.

I think of you constantly, Draco. Please tell me I'm not the only one,

Hermione

Hermione stared at the drying ink on the parchment in front of her and felt something hot and fiery pass through her and nest near her womb. The letter felt too authentic, and she trembled as she realized Malfoy would have to read it with her present and reject her.

"You're done?" he asked her. The vibrations of his voice set every nerve on fire, and she wished he had more to say at the same time that she desperately wanted to escape. She knew these feelings. She shouldn't have them for Malfoy just because they worked together for a single night. Wordlessly, she nodded and passed the piece of parchment to him. After he took it, she debated whether getting up and moving away from him might help. However, she recalled that would mean moving back towards him after, which would likely throw her even more off, perhaps even in ways he couldn't help but notice.

Beside her, Malfoy read the letter with care, and then he read it again, frowning. His ears colored, and he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Alright then. My turn to respond," he said. His hand trembled as he reached for the quill in Hermione's hand, and they both inhaled sharply when their knuckles brushed each other in the process. "Sorry," Malfoy muttered, then he got to work.

Hermione didn't dare look at him or his writing while she heard the scribble of the quill against the parchment. She was intensely aware of him, and she wondered now if this weren't also a component of the curse. Perhaps not an intended symptom, but rather a natural side effect. After all, if she couldn't break free, Malfoy would be the only person she could ever interact with physically. However, she also knew there was more to it. She had little doubt that she wouldn't be so affected by most men in this position.

She really just needed space to clear her head… or perhaps a swift slap in the face to free her from her lunacy.

"Done," Malfoy said with a crack in his voice. He handed her the parchment, and Hermione took it with trembling hands.

Granger,

While I wholeheartedly support your emancipation from all things Weasley and greatly enjoy our penned discussions, I am not interested in more than correspondence from you. I hope you will not take my rejection too bitterly to continue our discussion on the vampire crisis after you have received the opportunity to read my books on the matter.

-D.M.

Hermione gaped at the letter. She had known to expect a rejection. The whole point of the exercise was to build evidence that she had felt something unrequited for Malfoy, but she never expected her fake feelings to be so concisely tossed aside without insult or cruelty. Hermione had realized Malfoy was clever enough, but she felt she had never before properly recognized his skill for deftly dealing with difficult interpersonal circumstances.

"What was it like living with Lord Voldemort in your home?" she found herself asking. She had wondered before how the youngest Malfoy had endured such extreme circumstances, but she felt like she had gotten her first glimpse into an entirely new perspective on it, and she was ravenous for more.

"What?" Malfoy said. He pulled his letter back, scanned back over it with furrowed eyes, and then turned those perplexed eyes to Hermione. "How do you get from receiving a letter of rejection to asking me about one of the darkest times of my life?"

Hermione felt the blood drain from her face as she realized how awkward her question had been, not to mention that Malfoy had absolutely zero reason to answer her. "Sorry. My mind wandered," she said and then looked back at his letter. "Perhaps we should get back to letter transfiguration? I expect the additions should be plenty to calm most suspicions directed towards you in the matter of my curse."

"Alright with me," Malfoy huffed, turning his shoulder on her to focus on his own letters.

Hermione stared at the shape of his jaw for a moment before getting back to work on transforming her own notes into the letters she had written. As she progressed through them, she realized with a sinking feeling that she should have been more convincing in her efforts to appear interested in Malfoy romantically. Nothing in the letters was particularly embarrassing or humiliating, as Malfoy had hinted to McGonagall.

"Salazar," Malfoy cursed. "I can practically hear your over-thinking," Malfoy said without turning around or pausing in his own work. "What now?"

"Umm, I was wondering if I should try to flirt more in the letters, so that it's more convincing for anyone who reads these," Hermione said.

Malfoy put his quill down, cracked his neck, and twisted his head to look at her. "You want this to be convincing? How do you think they'll react if you suddenly start flirting with me in the middle of the letters?"

Hermione's mouth opened and closed as she tried to object. "But you told McGonagall…"

Malfoy shrugged. "I can always claim that your most recent letter and behavior colored my memory of prior communications. Relax, Granger. If you're too Gryffindor about it, they'll never believe it."

"Too Gryffindor?" Hermione asked him in a flat voice.

Malfoy stretched his arms up before answering, and Hermione was frustrated to realize she rather liked the view. Then again, why shouldn't she? She was a single witch, and he was not nearly as bad as she had thought him.

"Yes," he said, looking at her peculiarly before pulling his arms back down. "Too Gryffindor. Too bold. Too obvious. It's fine for battle, but when you are trying to bend minds, you need subtlety, Granger."

Hermione snorted. "You sound like Snape."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes at her, and Hermione got the distinct impression she had said or done something wrong, but she had no idea how to correct it. She looked down and away from Malfoy. "Right, so subtlety works better for convincing people of new ideas?" she said, hoping he would speak again and return the balance they had prior to when she had opened her mouth.

Malfoy sighed heavily. "You really have no people skills, do you, Granger." It wasn't a question, and Hermione found herself staring at Malfoy much like a deer in headlights. He returned her gaze coolly. "Tell me this: With Potter and Weasley away from school, how many friends have you made?"

Hermione scowled. "You're one to talk. You've been isolated too."

Malfoy inclined his head to her slightly. "True, but I'm a villain according to most. I have my family history, my actions, and the mark on my arm to condemn me. You, however, are a heroine. The golden girl who stood beside the Boy Who Lived. People would flank to your side if you so much as acknowledged them, but you don't, do you?"

Hermione glared at him, already regretting she had ever considered him attractive. "I was trying to help you, but if all you're going to do is mock me for not having more friends, I can leave." Hermione slammed her chair back and moved to stand up when a firm, long, bony hand captured her wrist.

"Stay, Granger. I'm sorry I teased you. Please stay," Malfoy said. Hermione hesitated, then slunk back into her seat with a heavy sigh. "Thank you," Malfoy said, releasing her wrist tenderly.

Hermione's eyes watered, blurring her vision. She had come to want friendship with Malfoy earlier that day following their encounter with Ginny, and then the letters… They had been so engaging that Hermione had half-forgotten that they were meant to convince others of her fascination with him, and she had kept noticing him in ways she didn't normally notice boys unless… Hermione sighed. She must be losing her mind.

"Do I want to know?" Malfoy asked.

Hermione shook her head. She wasn't about to tell Malfoy that she had been thinking about him. Then again, he had apologized for teasing her. "Why do you want me to stay?" she asked, hoping to make sense of his actions from whatever answer he gave. If he said he just wanted her to help with the work, she could tuck him neatly back away under the 'selfish git' category in her mind. If he responded that he wanted her company, well, that would make things more complicated, but at least she would feel less absurd for having been interested in him.

Malfoy studied her for a long moment, taking in her entire face. He looked back at his own work, closed his eyes a moment, and started transfiguration again without answering her.

"Malfoy?" Hermione asked after a minute passed without a response. It wasn't that she wasn't used to being ignored, but normally it was because others were too excited talking together. Having someone intentionally not respond was new territory for her.

Malfoy sighed. "Just stay, Granger."

Hermione opened her mouth to ask a thousand questions, but then she remembered that Malfoy was not Ron or Harry. If Malfoy didn't want to tell her why, he wouldn't. Frustration exploded within her, and she practically sizzled as she grabbed the next letter in her stack for transfiguration. "You are infuriating, Malfoy, but I'm staying," she fussed.

Malfoy glanced up at her almost shyly, and a small smile lit his face up. "Thanks, Granger."

Hermione scowled at him and went back to work.

Thanks for all the reviews! I love hearing what you think of my story!

Sorry this posted later than usual today. Keep forgetting today is Friday with the new year midweek, and I have my 6yo home with me. Chapter 19 is mostly ready. Y'all are going to like it. It's long and titled "Bedtime". I'm just polishing it up some more before I declare it ready.

Happy new year!