Chapter Sixteen: Scoptophobia
"I hate the news." was how Miruko greeted Hawks on Sunday morning.
"Why, I never knew." Hawks joked, though the scowl on her face had him worried. "What did they do this time?"
She turned her glower back to her phone. "Have you seen the tabloids?"
"Those that write tabloids are the scum of the earth." Silver growled.
He sounded so personally offended Hawks had to muffle an inappropriately-timed giggle. "What do they say this time? Am I secretly two cats in a trench coat? Oh, I know! I'm secretly an alien. Wait, that's not juicy enough… I'm secretly a royal alien forced to flee my homeworld. And I have a secret twin from another dimension. Who is also from Atlantis, somehow. Am I close enough to the craziness yet?"
Miruko did not smile. "It's not about you this time, Baby Bird. According to this I went on a drunken bender and assaulted some chick." She threw her phone down in disgust. "I'll never understand how people can write that crap like it's some drama novel—" She caught sight of his expression. "Hawks, spill."
Hawks considered making light of the tabloids' antics and how no one would believe them, but deep down he knew they likely had not come up with their tale by themselves. Miruko was drunk Friday. The Commission's warning was Wednesday. The timing was too close to be a coincidence.
He should have known the Commission would have eyes on him when he went out with the others.
"I can't believe they're actually doing this…" Green gasped.
Silver's outrage almost put Orange's anger to shame.
Hawks ignored the voices and their turbulent emotions for now. "Remember what Jeanist mentioned? I think they're starting their pettiness campaign." He winced as he remembered Miruko's apartment was bugged. "Never mind. That's probably not it. I'm just being paranoid. Forget I said that."
Miruko slowly looked at her phone and back to him. She poked him in the shoulder. "It's just a tabloid article. It doesn't mean anything, and no one will believe it."
"But what if its planting the seeds for something bigger?" Hawks mumbled. His voice lowered further. "Or what if it's another threa— reminder?"
"Then we'll combat it with it with the truth." Miruko said stubbornly.
Hawks slowly shook his head. He knew how the Commission did this type of thing. Start with something for people to glance at out of curiosity, but slowly whittle away until it seemed more and more plausible. "They won't make it that simple. If they want to discredit you they'll make things bigger and more believable until they catch you doing something 'bad'. It doesn't even have to be anything to do with this—"
"I told you not to worry about me." Miruko interrupted. "I can handle a little slander if it gets to that."
Hawks shifted his weight and tucked his chin. He didn't have his costume on yet. He should probably be getting ready for work. But he couldn't just leave it at that. "I could—"
"You are not becoming a loyal lapdog for my sake." Miruko interrupted again. She poked him in the shoulder. "And if I hear you're playing good boy because they made some vague threats, I will be sorely disappointed."
Hawks frowned. "I wasn't going to." He nibbled on his lip and shifted from side to side, almost rocking in place. "Be careful?"
"Sure. I promise I won't go on a drinking binge and deck a chick who probably deserved it." Miruko said dryly.
Although her tone was sarcastic, Hawks had the feeling she was taking his worries seriously.
He hoped so, anyway.
He went to work as usual, and flew right up to the top of the building to enter through the window. Even with the voices, the office still felt empty. Mockingjay was off doing her own thing— Hawks could only pray she was not plotting the Commission's downfall at the moment— leaving him… alone.
He did not feel alone.
And not just because of the voices.
Guys, be real with me. Are we being watched?
"I don't know if we are or if it's paranoia." Green said.
Thanks for your honesty.
Hawks shot his empty office a wary glance and hurried back outside. He wondered if it would be too paranoid of him to ask Mockingjay to search the place for bugs and cameras. Though that would not help much if anyone on the Commission payroll had a hacking Quirk…
And I am not thinking about that.
Hawks pushed those paranoid thoughts out of his mind and started his patrol.
XXXXXXX
If one were to check the Hero Network to see what mission Miruko was on, it would claim she was pursuing a running conman and was thus unavailable at the moment. Miruko was most definitely not chasing a conman, despite what the Hero Network said, though if asked later she would happily proclaim he got pretty far before she kicked him into a crater.
Instead she weaved through crowded streets in civilian clothes, with a red hat covering her ears and a bag filled with textbooks slung over her shoulder. She looked more like an older college student than a Pro Hero. That was exactly the point, for she seamlessly blended in with the other students milling about.
The coffee shop she approached was popular with the local students, who took advantage of the free internet, wide tables, and endless supply of caffeine to get through the slog of essays and projects they faced. Miruko had never been to a university like this but she recognized the look of utter despair on some faces as more exhausted students struggled to handle their monstrous workload.
Miruko loathed that expression more than what was probably reasonable. She knew what too much pressure could do to a young adult, having seen such breakdowns firsthand when she first took Hawks under her figurative 'wing'. She had to resist the desire to go over and hug a poor girl who looked ready to burst into tears as she stared at a glowing computer screen like someone who just had something explode in their face.
Miruko had no time to chat with all these students, only one.
The Todoroki investigation was stalling. It had been for days, and she'd reluctantly come to admit she'd need to interview one of them to gain any new insight and evidence. The psych profiles she had on each of them suggested Natsuo Todoroki may be the most willing to talk. Fuyumi would keep her father's neglect to herself or downplay it, as would Shoto, and asking Rei about her husband would simply be cruel. Thus, Natsuo.
As Miruko set up her laptop in the corner of the cafe and scanned the crowd for another head of white hair. Based on her research, Natsuo would be arriving soon, as was his habit. The predictability in his schedule would be worrisome, but there were no active threats against the civilians of the Todoroki family so she tried not to worry about it. As Miruko waited, she went over what she knew about her target.
Nineteen years old. Enrolled in a course for health and welfare to become a doctor. Possibly has a girlfriend though that's unconfirmed. Has an ice Quirk that allows him to freeze things that touch his skin and lower his body temperature like his mother. Can endure extremely hot temperatures but only when his Quirk is in use, which is rare to none since such usage would be illegal in most instances. When it's not in use, he's vulnerable to heat because he has a body used to cold. Never trained to be a Hero, showed no interest. Speaks politely about the Hero Endeavor, but never as his father. Only as the Number Two Hero.
It was clear that Natsuo held some colder feelings towards 'dear' old Dad, and Miruko could only hope those feelings would result in a frank conversation rather than the polite non-answers Fuyumi and Shoto were likely to give her due to their home life being 'none of her business'.
What kind of world did they live in, that abuse and neglect were kept private because there was 'no need' for it to be brought up and for the sake of 'stability'? Whoever decided status and societal niceties could override abusive actions could rot in hell. She'd investigate no matter who ordered her to stop. It was her duty as a Hero to act, no matter who the victim or the perpetrator were.
Better her than Hawks, who— despite his insistence that he was fine— did not have the clearest head when it came to investigating abuse. He always got twitchy whenever abuse cases came up, somehow being incredibly insightful and compassionate when it came to helping abuse victims while completely refusing to comprehend he himself was one and failing to extend that compassion to himself.
A few tables down from Miruko, the hollow-eyed young woman burst into tears. Miruko glanced over and saw the message on her laptop's screen, which stated her file had been corrupted and could not be found. She closed her own computer, and went over to the sobbing student, sitting next to her.
"Hey." Miruko soothed. "What happened?"
"My entire project was c-corrupted." the student sobbed. "I had months of research. It's due tomorrow. I'm going to fail!" She cried louder. A few other students looked her way but— upon seeing Miruko was taking care of it— turned back to their own books.
"Okay." Miruko reached for the keyboard and paused. "May I?"
"Do what you want." The young woman hiccuped. "It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does." Miruko said fiercely.
With the girl's permission, she installed a version of the program she herself used at her Agency in case there was a colossal system crash. She had lost count of the times hacker villains attempted to delete or corrupt the Heroes' files on them, only for it to backfire when the Heroes got them back along with the knowledge that someone wanted those files gone.
This version of the program was for personal and civilian use and she had it on her own laptop— and the one that held all her evidence for the Todoroki and Commission cases. The little bee symbol was almost like its own Hero insignia with how much it helped her and others. Besides, even Mockingjay trusted it. In fact, she was the one who introduced Miruko to the program in the first place.
Within minutes, the program had retrieved and uncorrupted the student's project, leaving it all intact.
The young woman immediately hugged Miruko. "Thank you! You're my Hero!"
Miruko chuckled. "Don't tell anyone."
She helped the girl clean up her face— apparently her mascara was not tear-proof— and returned to her seat with a nice, sugary concoction few would still consider coffee. The student had insisted it was the least she could do, and since Miruko wasn't actually a student, she accepted the free drink rather than risk the woman wanting to help her with her own 'project'.
As soon as she settled back in the corner, Miruko saw the coffee shop's door open and a white head of hair came through.
She raised her hand and waved. "Natsuo! Over here! I saved you a spot!"
Endeavor's second-eldest son glanced her way and did a double-take. It was almost comical as he looked left and right, as if he wondered if there was another Natsuo she was speaking to. Her assessment of his agreeable personality proved to be correct as he headed over to her with his bag slung over his shoulder.
"Hello." he greeted politely. "I don't believe we've met, though you seem to know me. Are you another student?"
"Yeah, I'm a student." Miruko subtly showed him her Hero ID. "Can we talk for a sec? I could use some help with a project and I heard you're the guy to turn to for answers."
Natsuo eyed her warily but nodded. They sat in a corner of the busy cafe as the chatter of other students covered their own conversation. Miruko made a show of pulling out a few of the books she had brought with her before turning back to him. Natsuo leaned over and pretended to read the text.
"Is my family alright?" was his first, quiet question.
"They're not in any current danger from Villains." Miruko reassured him instantly. "However, they are part of an ongoing investigation. Your siblings and mother are not in trouble." She was quick to clarify as Natsuo's grey eyes narrowed. She almost wished she was surprised when he did not ask why his father was not included in being guiltless. "I just need to ask you a few questions about your home life."
Natsuo's face was oddly blank. Not angry or upset, but as if he was unsure how to feel as he slowly realized where this conversation might be headed.
Miruko decided to cut to the chase. "Was Endeavor abusive and neglectful?"
Grey eyes narrowed. "How did you find out?"
No denial. Not even a stutter. With how readily he replied, Miruko had to wonder how the hell no one had asked and gotten the truth revealed to them before.
She crossed her arms. "Another Hero saw some suspicious things with Shoto and put two and two together. He couldn't investigate himself so he trusted me with it."
"Couldn't?" Natsuo asked.
"Couldn't due to time constraints and it hitting too close to home." Miruko replied brutally.
Natsuo blinked and seemed to put two and two together. "He was neglected, too?"
"Yeah." Miruko said vaguely, though she could not say she was upset by his assumption.
Someone more bitter might have accused the other Hero of being unable to investigate because of Endeavor's status. Instead, Natsuo realized what 'close to home' meant and emphasized with the other Hero despite not knowing him. More people needed instinctive empathy like that. He would be a great doctor someday.
Natsuo looked down at the medical book but Miruko had the feeling he was not seeing the text on the page. His jaw clenched and the muscles in his neck quivered before he looked back up at Miruko, meeting her eyes.
"What do you need to know?"
"As much as you can tell me about Endeavor's abuse." Miruko said, straight to the point. "The timeline of events, specific instances, people in the know."
"Are you going to expose him?" Natsuo asked levelly.
"Only if your family wants me to. I'm not investigating this to make a spectacle of it. If you don't want him arrested because of the media circus it'll draw to you, I want to at least get your siblings and your mother away from him. You shouldn't have to live in silence."
Natsuo hesitated and slumped in his chair. "It's not as bad as it used to be when Shoto was younger. He doesn't beat him up until he pukes anymore, at the very least. And with mom… in the hospital, he doesn't hit her when she tries to object."
'Because she isn't there to object.' went unsaid.
Miruko sensed Natsuo wanted to say more and let him talk his thoughts out for what may very well be the first time.
"A public arrest and investigation won't help." Natsuo admitted with little bitterness. He had definitely thought about it before, and maybe done a little research himself. "Shoto understands what he did is wrong, but also thinks he made him who he is. And Fuyumi just wants a happy family. If he magically 'changed' overnight and decided to be a 'good father', she'd accept him and try to keep the family together. I love her, but dear God does she not understand how… I don't want to say terrible but… how unwanted that idea is. If you get him, I want him away from my family and out of our lives for good."
"You'd never want to see your father again?" Miruko asked, simply because it was a standard question and not out of some cruel desire to see Natsuo question himself.
"Never." Natsuo's voice was as cold as the ice he wielded. "He could apologize to Mom, release her from the hospital, and stay away from her for the rest of her life. He could stop hurting Shoto and pressuring him to surpass All Might. He could shower Fuyumi with all the love and praise she deserves. But I will never forgive him. He's a hypocrite who can't stand his own failings so much he let them ruin our lives." His jaw clenched. "He can never atone for what he's done."
"Why?" Miruko needed to know.
Natsuo told her.
She almost wished he didn't.
XXXXXXX
Hawks spent the day doing his usual thing, saving people, helping grannies, saving cats, and slowly his paranoia drained away. The Commission's way of training him was awful, but he could not deny he loved being a Hero. He just did not want to be the Hero they wanted him to be. He wanted to be a person too, not a Symbol.
He stopped a bank robbery by a particularly incompetent villain, but was soon distracted by a woman striking what appeared to be her daughter. It only took a second to separate the two, and Hawks found some bitter relief that she was a babysitter and not the girl's parent.
As he stayed with the child and let her poke his wings with her tiny fingers, he shoved down the bubbling anger that if he had not been there, it was likely no one else would have stepped in even though the woman had struck a child. In public.
"Someone might have." Pink thought optimistically. "Quirks weren't involved."
"I doubt it." Purple countered, tone flat. "They'd probably still worry about getting into trouble."
As the girl's distressed father arrived and they were taken to be questioned, Hawks watched the babysitter shriek she had done nothing wrong and all children were brats. He stayed until she was safely in the police car— with a new 'resisting arrest' charge placed on her— and was driven away.
Hawks moved on, as he always did, but the incident burned itself into his thoughts. He forced himself to not think about the kids he couldn't and didn't know needed help, instead focusing on those he could and did. Like Eri. And hopefully— eventually— Shoto.
Hawks ignored White's quiet doubt about that last one.
He'd help Eri move to UA later this week. He technically did not have to since she had so little to move but he and Aizawa hoped it would make her more comfortable with the change. She kept asking if Hawks really would come visit and he swore her fragile relief was going to bring him to tears one day. How could a child look so confused when someone agreed to help them? Did she think she wasn't worth it or something?
Hawks hoped a ton of positive feedback would steer her out of that kind of thinking. He almost wished he could take care of her but it was impossible, in part because the Commission would not hesitate to threaten her to keep him in line. That thought made Hawks pause in midair in order to take a few calming breaths. He hovered for a moment just to be sure he would not beat the next villain he came across with more force than necessary before moving on.
"We should—"
No, Green.
"I didn't finish—"
You didn't have to. We're not doing anything about the Commission.
"What if they do try something with Eri?" Green demanded.
Hawks's lips twisted into a feral snarl that would make the bravest of Heroes flee. They wouldn't get the chance to try.
How could Green feel both approval and sorrow at once? "And yet they're allowed to hurt you—"
We are not having this conversation again.
"We haven't had this conversation at all because somebody's in denial." Orange snapped.
Look who's talking. But we are Not. Having. This conversation, Hawks repeated.
The voices did not attempt to hide their disapproval. Or their worry. Hawks wished they'd understand the Commission had acted as was normal and not go on like some horrible evil had been revealed. He finished patrol and landed in the street, stretching his wings as he prepared to take flight again. It was dark out and his stomach grumbled unhappily, moodily informing him he hadn't had dinner yet. Or lunch. Wait, did he stop for lunch?
"No, you didn't." Silver scolded. "Taking care of yourself is a key part to being a Hero."
Sorry, I'll try to make time to eat my vegetables, Hawks thought with a good dose of sarcasm.
"You should carry snacks for yourself." Red offered.
I already carry energy bars and the like for civilians in case of an emergency. And treats for pets.
"Yes, and you can carry snacks for yourself, too." Red twitched and spoke more rapidly. "I can add a pocket to your costume. You don't have to empty one that's already used for your food."
Hawks did not realize he had tensed up until he relaxed. Thanks. That would work.
"The Commission can go to hell." Orange said.
That has nothing to do with this conversation and we are still not discussing it.
"It does too have to do with it." Orange snapped. "You don't even realize you feel guilty for 'wasting' a damn pocket on yourself—"
"That's enough, Orange. Stop pushing him." White warned. "If he doesn't want to talk about it, we don't have to."
"Know from experience?" Orange sneered.
"Yes." White said stoically.
Moving on, Hawks thought loudly. We'll have some free time tonight. Rumi will be home but we should be able to go out. Who wants to beat up some Villains?
"Me—"
"I would." White said, interrupting Orange.
Hawks was less surprised than he should be. Do I need to lecture you about holding back?
"No. I will maintain control."
Hawks decided he'd lingered long enough but still looked longingly at one of the vendors. They were selling takoyaki. He reminded himself he had food at home and could not spend any money. He might not be able to pay his bills as it was. And if he did buy some, he'd certainly hear about his 'frivolous' waste of time. Before he could retreat, the vendor spotted him and perked up.
"Hawks?"
Hawks put on a grin and strode over. "The one and only."
He'd never get used to the way many civilians beamed at him when they recognized him. When he first started out, he knew the point was to be someone they recognized as a protector, but the way they lit up bewildered him because couldn't they see every mistake he made during that rescue, or that arrest, or that mission?
It had taken some patient explaining from Miruko that being half a second slow was not something civilians tended to notice and that the public would not turn against him for hesitating in confusion before he waved back at them. The Commission had taught him that his every action and reaction would be viciously judged, and although that was partially the case, it was nowhere near the extreme they claimed. Hawks guessed it was another exaggeration the Commission cooked up to make him act perfectly with the threat of 'they'll turn on you in an instant and eat you alive'.
Sometimes he wondered if he ever would have realized the truth without Miruko. He tried not to think too deeply about that, because if he were honest with himself he probably would have been dead before his nineteenth birthday without her.
Hawks took a moment to lean on the counter of the takoyaki stand and look around. "This is a nice place you got here. Is business doing well?"
The vendor looked surprised— and delighted— at his interest. "Oh, yes. We've been open for five generations now. This business was started by my great-great grandparents."
"Wow." Hawks whistled. "You're family-owned?"
"Of course. We've always been a small business and see no reason to change." He noticed Hawks's gaze lingering on the takoyaki. "Would you like some?"
Hawks kept his smile in place. "Thank you but I couldn't possibly—"
"Please have some." the vendor insisted. He gathered some takoyaki and handed it to Hawks. "On the house."
Hawks's tense smile relaxed and he bowed deeply. "Thank you."
His phone rang and he excused himself to answer it. "Hi, Rumi."
Her annoyed voice came through the speaker. "Hey. Are you busy?"
Hawks tipped his head to hold his phone between his shoulder and cheek as he held the takoyaki in one hand, checked a report from Mockingjay on his work-phone in the other, and saved a dog from getting run over by a car.
"Kinda, kinda not. Why?"
"Do you have the other apartment key?"
Hawks muffled a laugh. "You locked yourself out didn't you?"
"No!"
"You di-id~" Hawks sang.
"Stop teasing me and come help, you overgrown chicken!"
"Wow. I have never heard that one before in all my years. How unique of an insult. I should print it out and hang it in my office."
Miruko hissed at him.
Hawks chuckled. "Don't get your ears in a twist, sis. I'll be there in a few minutes."
He waved to the vendor and flew off, landing a few streets away so he could enjoy the takoyaki in private. He leaned against a wall and kept a few feathers on 'watch duty' as he considered the snack. He was not the only one. Purple was focused on it as well. Ripples of something comparable to nostalgia trickled out of him.
You like takoyaki? Hawks questioned.
"I gained a taste for it." Purple said evasively.
"He worked with someone who liked it for a while." Okay, Hawks must be hallucinating because Orange almost sounded fond.
"Fatgum died though." Yellow added. "Oh, shit I'm sorry!"
Hawks caught a brief flash of a familiar yellow suit, its owner thin and mangled like a broken doll. He shivered and he and the voices simultaneously repressed the memory. Despite that, Purple continued to eye the takoyaki with something close to longing.
Hawks took a breath. Would you like to take control?
Purple's surprise jabbed through him. "Can I?"
Sure. Go ahead.
Hawks shoved down his unease and let Purple push him aside and take the reigns. Not being in control when his body was eating was weird. Purple's cautious happiness made it worth it though. Hawks saw flickers of countless patrols where he— not him, Purple— where Purple worked alongside the BMI Hero. Many were awful, centered around the time Hero Society was falling apart, but there was joy there too in the simple times of sitting on rooftops and eating takoyaki with Fatgum, a white-cloaked Hero, and one with red hair that looked vaguely familiar. Orange repressed his grief before Purple could feel it but Hawks did. He wondered who the red-haired Hero was to him.
Purple finished the takoyaki and Hawks held his breath, waiting to see what he would do next. He felt Purple begin to fall back but he paused. If Hawks was in sync with his body, his heartbeat would have sped up.
Purple—
"Someone's watching us." Purple interrupted.
He looked around with Hawks's sharp eyes and— without warning— threw two of his feathers into the shadows. A thud and muffled curse greeted him and he dashed into the alley, hands twitching towards his neck where something wasn't there. The lack of his weapon did not deter him and he sprang upon the hooded figure that was struggling to get his arms free of the feathers pinning him. Purple planted his foot on his chest. A feather to his throat made the man go still.
"Why are you following us?" Hawks's body growled, voice lower and more menacing than normal.
"What's wrong with you? I didn't do nothing!" the man hissed, but the way he kept his voice down rather than yell for help betrayed his guilt. "You're—"
"Tell me the truth. Why were you following us?"
Hawks's body's voice did not change, but Hawks felt something commanding there. A shiver went up his spine.
The pinned man went still, and spoke tonelessly. "I was sent by the Commission to follow you."
Hawks did not know who felt more alarmed, himself or Purple as they realized Purple had used his Quirk on the man. Purple glanced at the feather he had pressed to the man's skin and Hawks's body's teeth clenched.
"Tell me why." he ordered.
"You must be punished." the agent said.
"What does that mean?" Purple demanded.
"You will be punished." the agent repeated.
He doesn't know what they plan to do to me, Hawks thought.
"Were you ordered to capture us?" Purple asked. "Tell me."
"No. Merely follow and report."
"Report what?"
"Who you interact with."
"Why?"
"To see what bad habits must be discouraged." the agent said robotically.
Hawks thought about the vendor and a rock settled in his stomach. They're seeing who I act 'unheroic' with.
"The fact that that was your first assumption is kind of unnerving." Silver noted.
"Okay, I know I joked about stalking but this is disturbing as hell." Yellow said loudly.
Are you even surprised?
"No."
Purple glared down at the Commission agent. "You will forget my interaction with the takoyaki vendor. You will forget this conversation. You will not mention the takoyaki vendor or this conversation in your report or elsewhere. You will not give this information willingly, accidentally, or unwillingly."
The repeated rephrasing seemed odd to Hawks until he realized Purple was trying to close any loopholes. Maybe the amount of control and thought Purple put into this should disturb him, but it didn't. It just showed Purple knew what he was doing. Hopefully.
"Once I am out of sight, carry on." Purple finished.
He stood back, removed the feathers from the Commission agent's clothes, and left. Hawks snapped back into his body and flew up to the top of a building. He sat down heavily and stared at the feathers he still held. They crumbled in his fingers.
Are you sure that will work? was his first thought.
"It... should?" Hawks did not like to hear the questioning there. Purple shook himself and spoke more confidently. "Even if he remembers our interaction, he won't remember the brainwashing. He'll just think he forgot about the vendor and won't question it. That's what usually happens, anyway. I've... done this kind of thing before." Guilt prodded at Hawks's mind. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have confronted him like that. I put us all in danger."
"Do you think they suspect something?" Green asked.
Maybe. Probably. We'll need to keep being careful.
Hawks checked his phone, only to find a few annoyed texts from Miruko. He hurried to the apartment before she could decide to break into her own house.
XXXXXXX
Twice was not stalking Hawks.
…The fact that he needed to clarify that did not make him look good, but it was true. He was not stalking Hawks, he was merely… watching him.
From a distance.
Without him knowing.
But he wasn't being a stalkerish weirdo, okay? Twice did not follow him everywhere, or to his home, or make notes on his every move or anything creepy like that. He merely watched a bit of Hawks's patrol as he tried to figure out what he wanted to accomplish by being here and how to do it.
It didn't help that he kept getting distracted by Hawks doing actual Hero stuff.
He saved cats from trees and dogs from being run over by cars. He helped little old ladies with their groceries.
Twice was not a Stain fan guy like Spinner, Dabi, and Toga, but wow Hawks actually did that Heroic stuff.
But back to his reason for not-stalking Hawks.
The goal of his trip sounded simple but really wasn't. He wanted to figure out how to approach Hawks with offers of possible-friendship without appearing to be a stalker.
He wasn't succeeding very well.
Hindsight was a jerk, and Twice cursed it under his breath as he walked down a street in Fukuoka with his mask reassuringly in his pocket. The simple solution to his problem had already passed. He should have asked for Hawks's number outside of the bar. Would that have been weird? Possibly. Would it have been weirder than showing up in Fukuoka and going 'Hey, want to be friends possibly, my possible-potential-friend?' No.
Twice would tell social norms to go screw themselves and just walk up to Hawks when he was semi-alone, but now that he'd been dithering and following the Hero all day, that would just scream 'Stalker!'
Especially after Hawks had to confront an actual stalker by the looks of it.
But had it been Hawks?
Twice's instincts said 'No.' He had not been able to hear or see everything from where he crouched in a doorway and argued with himself so much about interfering or not that he almost split, but something had been off about the Hero when he confronted that creepy actual-stalker guy.
Twice was good at identifying body language and tone, and 'Hawks's' had been all wrong.
No, that was rude to assume. He of all people should know there could be more than one side to a person. In Hawks's case, that other side seemed to be a bit more separate and literal. Like Twice himself was split more literally.
Twice shivered and pulled his hood over his head, fingers curling and uncurling as he convinced himself he did not need to put on his mask yet.
The Hawks that confronted the stalker was too different to be the Hawks he'd followed most of the day. The… not 'normal', but usual Hawks was cheerful by default and confronted adversity with a smile except when he felt he could tremble and break.
That Hawks in the alley had not been cheerful or smiling. He had not taken down the stalker with a fierce grin or even a sharp glare. Glares could be normal for Hawks, but the Hawks in the alley had been too cold, calculating, and unforgiving.
Twice had seen pictures of Hawks at his most serious— and done his best to ignore the internet's captions fawning over how 'sexy' Hawks looked when he was angry— and not one photo had come close to the absolute, unrepentant, calculated mercilessness he'd seen in that alley. He wasn't even malicious. Just… rationally decisive, like he saw the moral line Heroes were not supposed to cross and calmly stepped over it for his goals.
The Hawks everyone knew and adored never looked ready to kill to protect himself but the Hawks in that alley certainly did. He would kill to protect himself, and possibly to protect some other personalities, if that Hawks's use of 'us' was any indication.
How many are in there?
Twice did not know. He wanted to find out. Out of a selfish desire for companionship and understanding, maybe. But also for Hawks himself because boy was the birdie was having problems and probably needed someone who would not shun him for being socially unacceptable.
Wasn't that notion of helping so 'heroic' of Twice? It made him uncomfortable, but hey, he was a Villain. He could do what he wanted.
Twice's goal had not been achieved today— not even close— but he had learned one thing.
It looked like his theory that Hawks was like him was not so far-fetched after all, and he might get in trouble for it in the future.
Now to figure out what and how to do something about it without getting the birdie hurt by the Society that currently adored him. Twice was a Villain, not a monster. He didn't want to destroy what little comfort Hawks so tentatively had.
Though honestly? Preemptively rescuing Hawks was becoming more appealing by the day.
Maybe he could convince Dabi to help. That might just get the ever-elusive Villain to spend some time with the team.
XXXXXXX
Hawks arrived at the apartment to find Miruko standing in front of the door with her foot raised as if she were about to kick. And considering this was Miruko, said kick would definitely bust it down.
"Please don't kill our door." he begged dryly. "It has a family."
Miruko lowered her foot. "I have been waiting here for half an hour." she growled.
"Sorry. I had a stalker I needed to ditch. Not a real stalker this time, but…" Hawks unlocked the door, realized what he had said, and carefully looked at a fuming Miruko out of the corner of his eye. "...Can we pretend I never said that?"
"You had a Commission lackey following you."
It was not a question, but Hawks replied like it was anyway. "Yeah. I lost him though."
Miruko looked into their likely-bugged apartment and exhaled slowly. "Think the bugs have censors? I'd love to fill their equipment with grating bleeps."
"Cussing like a sailor is unbecoming of a Hero." Hawks said with exaggerated loftiness. "...But I wouldn't complain. Don't be too loud though. I don't think the neighbors would appreciate their kids being taught swear words."
"They'll learn eventually." Miruko muttered. She glared into her apartment. "I'm getting you-know-who to bring the pesticide as soon as possible."
"It'll just invite another infestation." Hawks sighed. He hesitated and glanced down. "If you want them gone I can mo—"
"No."
"But I—"
"No. They'll just bury you in more debts. And I'm not kicking you to the curb because—" She leaned into the apartment. "—the 'insects' are CREEPY, STALKING PISS-BITCHES WHO SHOULD GET THE STICKS OUT OF THEIR ASSES!" She slammed the door shut and glowered at it.
"You're lucky I still have the key." Hawks said dryly.
"Hush. Let me be dramatic."
Hawks unlocked the door again but did not open it. "You'll be happy to know I also s-spen— wasted some time eating takoyaki today."
Miruko smiled. She almost looked proud. In a nice way, not like Amplifier. "Takoyaki huh?" She glanced down at his empty hands. "You didn't get me any?"
"No." Hawks dropped his gaze. The takoyaki felt heavy in his stomach. "I'm sorry. I didn't think—"
"I was just teasing." Miruko interrupted. Her red eyes were too solemn as they studied his face. "You've been… twitchier since you went to Commission HQ."
"Have not." Hawks said curtly.
"Have too." She countered. "I get why though. You can't hide it from me." Her fingers brushed his cheek where a bruise had faded to a yellow-tinged green. "You're acting a bit like you used to, ya know. Like you think I'm gonna hit you if you breathe wrong."
Hawks's lips thinned. "I never thought that."
"Right." She said flatly. She abruptly yanked him into one of her patented bone-crushing hugs.
Hawks accepted it as a usual Rumi-hug, but as she continued to hug him and not let go, he began to feel just a little uncomfortable. "Is everything okay?"
She squeezed him tighter. "Yes."
That was a lie if he ever heard one. He chuckled nervously. "You're being a little intense here."
"I just want to hug you because someone should."
Hawks did not know what to say to that. "...Okay?"
She released him enough to grip his shoulders. "I've been investigating."
Hawks glanced pointedly at the easily eavesdropped hallway they stood in. Though honestly, the apartment wasn't any safer. Neither was their offices, probably. Anymore, possibly, since the Commission had not found out about Ennea when they first appeared. Now, his office was probably as watched as a prison cell. He tried not to think about it and focused on the topic at hand.
"Investigating him?" He said, because even now he dare not say Endeavor's name.
"Yeah. And other things."
Hawks's brow wrinkled. "What does that have to do with a hug…?"
"Do I really need to spell it out for you? She saw something that freaked her out and just wanted a hug, dumbass." Orange snapped.
That did not sound like Miruko. She didn't seek comfort—
'Keep your problems to yourself and your pain off your face. You are a Hero. You provide comfort. You do not need it.'
Hawks ignored that invasive thought because Miruko was not him. He was the one meant to follow that rule so others would not have to. Still, things must be bad if she reacted to Endeavor's actions like this.
"I know this is hypocritical of me but do you want to share what's got you so… upset?"
Miruko laughed without humor. "I'm not upset. I'm pissed. Not just about him either."
Hawks waited patiently for her to continue. She didn't and went inside. Her keys sat on the countertop where she'd left them. She picked them up and threw them into her purse with unnecessary force.
"I want to tell you but you've already got a lot on your plate."
"This isn't about my 'plate'." Hawks denied. "I just… need to know. It'd be unfair to Shoto to live in rose-tinted ignorance for my own selfish sense of comfort. And I'd rather find out from you than other ways."
Miruko huffed, blowing a lock of her hair out of her face. "Shoulda known you'd say that." She glared upward as if daring the Commission's bugs to hear her.
Before Hawks could prod her again, she spoke.
"His eldest was admitted to the hospital with massive burns some years ago. He had been taken hostage and there was some type of 'Quirk-related' accident during the incident. Long story short, him and the perp caught on fire. The official reports insist it was 'definitely' the kid's uncontrollable fire Quirk to blame. The kid apparently died. But according to my source..." She averted her gaze. "…Endeavor put the villain's capture over his son's safety and burned his son alive along with the perp. He didn't get the kid away first. He just threw a fucking inferno at them both."
Hawks felt his skin drain of color.
"There's more." Miruko warned.
Hawks braced himself.
"According to the reports, the kid saw dear old dad's flames coming and used his Quirk." she continued. "He covered himself with his own fire for some reason. No one knows what was going through his head. He might've panicked and thought his flames would stop his father's or something. Or maybe he realized what was going to happen wanted it to end faster. Between his flames and Endeavor's he lit up faster than a fucking grass fire."
Miruko abruptly yanked Hawks into another hug, pressing her face into his shoulder. She showed no indication she wanted to cry, but he felt her shaking. Hawks's throat closed up. In his head, a wall cracked and shadowy blue smoke leaked through.
"How sad… Shoto Todoroki."
Hawks leaned back to indicate he wanted— needed— out of the embrace. Miruko immediately released him and he stepped back, folding his arms and gripping his elbows tightly.
"I see." Hawks swallowed and motioned vaguely. "I'm just going to…"
He had no idea what he was going to say. Or do.
Miruko did not pressure him. She put a hand on his shoulder and left him with his thoughts. And the voices.
Hawks wished he could be the type of person that ignored things they didn't want to think about. Even if he had been, ignoring White's emotions would be as effective as ignoring a forest fire.
Shoto, do you know what happened to Touya?
White's presence radiated guilt, grief, and pain.
"He goes by 'Dabi' now."
Hawks's heart sank. He had a feeling he now knew another reason how their future Hero Society collapsed.
After all, what better way to show the crimes of the new Number One Hero than reveal he'd pushed his eldest son to villainy?
XXXXXXX
Ennea let the bugs think Hawks was sleeping on the couch and made an appearance that night with Hawks spectating. Acting as a Vigilante shot him straight into the clutches of stomach-twisting anxiety but pretending he was merely watching a movie and that he would not be sent straight to remedial courses if they were caught helped him cope.
Any worries that White would use his recognizable Quirk were unfounded. Ennea went after a corrupt businessman first and White just needed his fists. They left him near the station with so much evidence his money would not be able to get him off with a mere slap to the wrist again.
And if a little girl and boy were relieved when their abusive father did not come home that night, that was just a bonus.
It was three in the morning by the time Hawks returned to Miruko's apartment. He was so tired he drifted and did not recall where Ennea had stored their costume and equipment, though he did not particularly care.
He silently returned to the couch as Red murmured she'd stopped interfering with the bugs using… whatever that device was that she made. He wanted to go to sleep but unfortunately the voices were more awake than him. They probably had a lot of energy stored up, being stuck in his head and all, but his body needed sleep, darn it. Like kids who had sugar, the voices failed to realize that as they chattered away.
"Okay, so what did we learn?" Pink asked.
"The Commission are stalkers." Yellow said.
"We already knew that."
"The Commission are the worst."
"Already knew that too."
"The Commission are assho—"
Could you let that go, please? Hawks thought drowsily.
"No." Eight voices said.
But I don't wanna think about them…
Green came to his rescue. "Purple's Quirk is activated through a feather touching the target and the target responding to him. Like with Orange's Quirk, White's won't instantly burn feathers as long as he keeps the fire going. I bet that'll be how you cancel your Quirk too, Pink."
"So all our Quirks use up feathers?" Red questioned.
"Theoretically."
"Except mine." Yellow said miserably. "It just knocks us out if I use it to make too big of a shock."
Yay, we learned things, Hawks thought tiredly. Now can I sleep please? Tired.
Guilt and amusement swirled together, the latter outweighing the former. If Ennea's outings improved their mood so much, perhaps Hawks should let them have control more often. No, that wasn't right. He should let them have control more often, period.
"Go to sleep, Gold." Pink said quietly. "You deserve some rest."
Hawks hummed vaguely and closed his eyes.
He was out like a light.
XXXXXXX
The sky was filled with smoke. It floated through the air with deceptive serenity, wafting dreamily into the atmosphere as though it were ignorant to the hell that lay beneath it. Hawks sprang over a flaming piece of wreckage and scarcely avoided a burst of roiling flames as it hungrily tore through a building. It collapsed before he could reach it and the cooling units in his costume struggled to keep him from boiling inside it.
Another explosion shook the ground and he stumbled, keeping his balance. Blue fire danced on the horizon and his stomach dropped. He ran towards the center of the inferno and activated his communicator.
"Froppy, report."
"Shoto is down." She croaked, voice hoarse and strained from the smoke. "Tailman is…" Her usually monotone voice shook. "He's gone."
Hawks's eyes filled with tears but he held them back, running as fast as he could. "I'm almost there!" I̸̛̻̽ ̶̛͍̼w̶̳̜̌̄a̸͔͂s̶͉̘̈́ņ̶͚̄̀'̵̜̈́ͅť̵̪̥ ̷̝̯̈́f̸̧͊͌ă̷̹̰s̴̨͎͗t̷͎͕̀̃ ̵̯̻̐ĕ̸͖̪ǹ̶̖̰́ồ̶͖̣ų̷̓̿ǧ̸͇̰h̷̼͔̊.̸͔̣͝. "Just hold on."
N̸̬̊̇o̶̯̽ͅ.̸̦̬́ ̴̩̔̊N̴̲̐ȍ̷̯̓.̵̳̈̄ ̵̼̲̑Ḓ̵͓̅̐ö̸̦n̸̳͆͘'̷̨͗͜ţ̵̦́ ̷̠̱̅̌m̸̝͖̑å̴̡̛̙k̸̭̕ḛ̶̏ ̶̛̦̚m̸̨̧̒e̸̝͐ ̸̰̆l̵̡͈͌i̴͖͐v̶̝͗e̶̦̽ ̶̫͈͑ť̵̞̕ḩ̷͉̒͗i̶͇͊͌s̶̟̪̏ ̴͙̑ḁ̶͌g̵̠̹̓a̷͎̗͐ḯ̸̮̽n̵̫̒̓.̶͇̃̕
"We will." she promised.
T̸̼̻̔h̵̠̎a̵͙͗t̸̝̫̍ ̴̭̾̓l̶̫̂̋i̵̢̨͝a̵̱̠͊̈r̷̭͇͒ ̵̢͘ḽ̴̞̆͋ḯ̸̲͇̑a̴̺̥͐̀r̴̗̈͗ ̵̛̲̞l̸̙̖̓ȋ̴̦̠̀ä̴̱̜́̇r̶͙͍͊.̶̳̟͆ ̶͓̂
He heard the roar of flames— harsh and loud and unforgiving— and pushed himself. Faster, faster, faster.
Not fast enough.
They had known Dabi was in the area. They had known he'd been alone. They had— foolishly— thought they could finally take him out and deprive the Paranormal Liberation Front of one of it's most dangerous lieutenants. Froppy had been the one to put forth the idea of using a body of water against Dabi. Shoto had been so determined because they had so few opportunities like this. They all had.
He should have gone with them from the start. He should have known better than to think this Dabi was like the one they first saw at the summer camp.
Heroes were not the only ones changed by this war.
Heroes were not the only ones that snapped.
When the Heroes caught up to Dabi, his immediate response was to set the entire city ablaze.
Hawks turned a corner and barely dodged an inferno as it exploded in front of him. He reeled back as it faded and the street in front of him was empty. No, not empty.
Shoto was on the ground, breathing harsh and ragged. His left side was covered with burns and Hawks knew it was not because of his own Quirk. Froppy and Tailman were nowhere to be seen. He looked frantically for them as he ran towards Shoto, only for something to crunch beneath his boot.
He reached into the dust and picked up a small, burnt fragment of green goggles, the glass shattered into glittering shards.
Hawks stared uncomprehendingly at the ashes and stumbled over to Shoto. He had to keep him alive. He had to keep at least one alive.
So Hawks put the burnt goggles in his pouch, picked up Shoto, and ran like he never had before.
No one else was around to hear him as he wept.
Hawks opened his eyes to a white ceiling.
"It wasn't your fault, Tenya." Green said unsteadily. "I'm the one who decided to send you to keep an eye out for Shigaraki and the others."
Silver said nothing, but his grief was as sharp as Hawks's own.
"None of us realized how… unrestrained Dabi became at that point." Pink added. "We expected a Villain who had to hold back for at least his own self-preservation."
"Instead we got one who could now burn the whole world down and didn't care if he went with it." Orange snarled.
White was dead silent. Ghostly fingers brushed the left side of Hawks's face, but he knew it was not actually him feeling it.
Hawks swallowed. It won't happen again.
"No," Silver agreed, and his voice was cold as steel. "It won't."
XXXXXXX
Uraraka stood by a window with the blinds drawn up, staring out into the infinite darkness outside. She wondered if this was what it was like for astronauts out in space, though space had plenty of stars and planets to fill the endless void. It was nice to be able to think again without her every thought being shared. And she had a lot to think about.
Yaoyorozu sat on the conjured couch behind her but the boys were nowhere in sight. Their 'UA dorms' had expanded considerably to include the girls' own area, but the outside 'world' was still empty. She and Yaoyorozu were the only ones there now. The emptiness was just another reminder of who they lost.
Uraraka shut her eyes to block out the sight of the void and was relieved when she did not see Tsuyu's broken goggles. She missed seeing the sky with her own eyes. She missed being able to hear with her own ears. She missed living without the lingering threat of their walls collapsing. But nothing could be done to change that at the moment.
When they came up with this plan, her first thought was she'd be able to see her family again.
Now she could not even walk on her own feet. She could not see her family or friends, and if she somehow did, they would not recognize her. She could not walk up to her mother and be hugged and welcomed home. Maybe she could try— try to go, try to explain, try to convince them it was her, their daughter, inside this stranger's body— but she could not ask more of Hawks. She couldn't demand he give herself and the others more time in control. Not when there was so little time and so many of them.
And not when he'd give more and more if they asked until he had nothing left.
Did he even realize that he felt guilty for having control of his own body? Probably not. The Commission had been very thorough in their attempts to squash 'selfish' thoughts out of him like the desire to live and not sacrifice every piece of himself for the sake of others. The voices had a mission, but if that mission required them to take all Hawks had left to call his own, she knew they all would be unable to call themselves Heroes anymore if they did it.
It would be so much simpler if things went as planned. Why did things have to end up like this?
Uraraka abruptly turned away from the void outside. "How have you been doing?"
"You cannot tell? I suppose that is an improvement." Yaoyorozu smiled tiredly. "I am coping as well as can be expected considering our circumstances. I am… concerned for our visit to UA, however."
Uraraka did not need an open connection between them to know what she was thinking. She sat beside Yaoyorozu and touched her hand with her curled finger's knuckles rather than her fingertips, even though she was uncertain her Quirk would work in here.
"You're worried we'll see Jiro when we drop off Eri this week."
Yaoyorozu's shoulders tensed and she pulled her hand away from Uraraka's. Uraraka understood her reservations. She was not sure that she could handle seeing Tsuyu after Hawks's latest memory-nightmare. But she also knew that Jiro's death was much more personal for Yaoyorozu.
Tsuyu had died to Dabi's flames.
Yaoyorozu had been the one forced to kill Jiro's Nomu herself.
"Her capture wasn't your fault." Uraraka stated. She hesitated, but forced herself to say what she had to. "Her death was not your—"
Yaoyorozu's skin turned ashen. As Uraraka watched, her form shimmered like the conjured image it was, revealing flickers of the damage Yaoyorozu tried to hide. Despite the scars creeping across her like bloody shadows, her voice was stoic.
"She hung back to give me time to escape. If I hadn't been distracted when she said to go ahead and stayed with her—"
"We would have lost you both." Uraraka interjected softly. "You were facing Compress, Toga, and the Nomu of Edgeshot and Kamui Woods. Jiro saw an opportunity to get you out and she took it."
"Well she shouldn't have made that choice for me." Yaoyorozu snapped. She stood abruptly and forced a smile. "We are simply moving Eri to Aizawa's new apartment at UA. It is unlikely we will see any students. But even if we see Jiro, I'll be fine. I won't let my emotions compromise us."
"'Letting' usually isn't part of the equation." Uraraka mentioned.
Red, smoke-like shadows flickered around Yaoyorozu and she walked out, shutting the door to her room shut behind her. The door was closed gently, but cracks spread like spiderwebs through the walls.
XXXXXXX
A/N: Next chapter will be out the 10th-ish.