Chapter 16: Kah do Dov
The team was outside only moments later, everyone watching the lights flash and flicker.
The portal isn't entirely stable? Liv guessed, tempted to make a run for it to see what was there. Gotta wait for my magicka burns to heal; should be another week at most. And I'd rather not have to Thu'um if I don't have to, she sighed, shaking her head and slid off the roof, landing beside Morgan with a soft thump and roll, raising her hands when half the team reached for their weapons.
"Give us a warning next time, Liv," Morgan sighed, holstering his gun.
"Sorry. Where is –"
"Ah, you're out here too. Was just coming to find you to show you the lights," Deputy Flack said, nodding up at the flashes.
"We just saw them, yes," Hotch nodded.
"Has anyone ever headed out that way to see what's there?"
Deputy Flack blinked, staring at Liv before shaking her head. "No, not while it's flashing, and we haven't been able to pinpoint exactly where they're coming from to go investigate during the day."
Liv nodded, watching the light flicker and sputter out. "I want to track it tomorrow. I'll head out first thing."
"You can't go alone," Deputy Flack argued, crossing her arms over her chest. "At least let one of us go with as a guide –"
"I don't need a guide."
"You will need backup," Hotch said, facing Liv square on. "That's a considerable distance to travel, and I don't want you caught out there at night. And especially not alone."
Liv turned to him with a small smile, back straightening as she met his gaze and cocked her head. "Zu'u krif hi, qahnaar zu'u," she said, her teeth flashing for a moment in something closer to the baring of teeth than a smile. "I grew up in wilds more dangerous than this, spent the better portion of my life traveling through them and finding things and places lost to time. If anything, a guide and backup would slow me down, and we'd truly be caught out there in the snow and dark. If you intend to insist on making this a group outing, I hope you know that I can and will lose you once we're out there, and then who will be the one who is lost?"
Hotch frowned, jaw flexing in a way that made Liv sure he wanted to mention her magic, her burns, if it wasn't for the Deputy's presence.
"And if it really is that bad that I don't make it back, isn't it better that you only lose one person, who isn't even an official member of the team, than it is to lose two or more people? Some who may be civilian trackers?" she asked, ignoring the half-start by the deputy.
"You can't just waltz off into –"
Liv raised a hand to silence Flack, half dismissive as she frowned at the woman and turned back to Hotch. "I'm not asking for permission. I'm issuing a statement of fact; this is me extending the courtesy of telling you where I am going and what I am going to do. I leave first thing in the morning, alone, and assuming you hear nothing through the day, if I'm not back by nightfall, then assume that I died to something a whole lot worse than anticipated," she finished, meeting Spencer's gaze before she nodded once, and walked back into the cabin.
"If we 'hear nothing'? Cell phones don't work up here," Morgan frowned, double-taking at Reid's excited faraway stare. "Hey, what're you smiling about?"
"Huh? Oh, no, I just. I think I know what she means by we'll hear something, but… uhm, never mind actually," he said, blinking at his teammates before shrugging and offered a small, apologetic smile and avoided Flack's gaze. "Sorry."
"Huh." Deputy Flack shook her head. "You've got yourself a cocksure new member Agent Hotchner. I just hope for her sake she's as good as she claims to be."
"That makes at least two of us, Deputy. Thank you, and good night. I think there will be a lot of thinking and talking happening over the next few hours before we turn in," he said.
"Yeah, good night. And good luck," she huffed, waving as she turned away and trudged back to her home.
"Spence."
"Don't, JJ, please," Spencer said, glancing at her and looked away. "I can't tell you what I know, I made a promise. She already didn't want to tell me, and I won't betray that trust. I think, though, that she knows exactly what it is or what to expect, if she's going out alone."
"So we just let her go? Alone? And hope she'll be okay?" Prentiss frowned, looking to Morgan for support. "I don't like the sound of that. What if it's worse than we think? What if it's more than she thinks she can handle?"
"As long as it isn't Alduin, she can handle whatever it is," Spencer said, pulling his shoulders back and square, before shivering. "It's cold out here; I'm going back inside."
"Reid…" Morgan trailed, watching him go back inside. "Dammit. I dunno where he gets that faith in her."
Rossi made a noise in his throat, hedging his options. "I don't think that was faith, so much as it was conviction. It sounds like the good doctor knows something that we don't, that has nothing to do with Liv's magic. But he is right, it's cold, and we should go inside, where we can discuss it further," he said, moving to the door and held the handle. "Shall we?"
The team woke to heavy snowfall in the morning, Liv frowning out the windows but otherwise settled in to help them with their theories and patchwork puzzle, confirming that the lights they'd seen the night before were definitely of the magical kind.
"So what exactly are the lights? You seem to recognize them."
Liv licked her lips, unable to dodge the question again when Rossi directed it at her in that way. "They look a lot like a portal that I've seen before."
"Like the Tiid Ahraan?" Reid asked.
"No," Liv said, shaking her head. "No this is a more stable portal. One that… you normally descended into to enter the plane. Except these are all wrong; they're vertical, for one, not horizontal. And they're extremely unstable, too. Like they just can't seem to solidify properly in this world."
"Where do they go? Or come from?" Emily asked, leaning on one arm of the chair. "Should we be worried about what comes out?"
"Well… the locals shouldn't be coming out at all," Liv started carefully. "But I don't actually know how to close it once it's open, or if it can be done from this side, if the portal was made from the inside. I don't particularly like what's inside it, and if it can only be closed from the inside, I'm willing to risk leaving it open. I don't want to get stuck there, if I can help it."
"Can't you make another portal to leave?" Rossi asked, bringing coffee over for everyone.
"No, it's not a school of magic I'm familiar with. And it's not one I'm really able to study that in-depth here," she frowned, shaking her head and leaned away from the table.
Liv looked up when she felt Emily's gaze linger on her, tilting her head slightly to prompt Emily to speak. "It's the first time I've seen you actually uncomfortable with magic, or doing something. Is it really that bad, Liv?"
She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and looked up at the roof beams above. "That particular school of magic isn't a problem for me, at its basic levels. But this level of magic is something akin to someone dedicating their entire existence to its study, almost exclusively. The result of studying it so intensely is gaining access to a plane that is intrinsically tied to the school. I've been in there before, a few times, I just don't… like being in there. I don't feel like me in there, and it feels like I leave some irretrievable part of myself in that plane. Living things aren't supposed to go in there. Only the dead, undead, and… partially soul-trapped living."
Morgan frowned over his coffee, uncrossing his ankles where he leaned against the back of a couch. "Explain? You've talked about soul trapping a couple times before, so what does this have to do with conjuration magic, and this portal."
"The lights look like a portal to the Soul Cairn, which is where all soul-trapped souls end up going. It's another plane of Oblivion, one that's not very well understood, and its governors – the Ideal Masters – even less so. I wasn't really paying attention when Valerica explained what was going on and how it worked; I just wanted out."
"So you're what, a vampire or something? Is that why you're so young-but-old?"
"No," Liv scoffed, shaking her head. "Serana did offer to turn me, once…. But no, I'm a Breton, like I explained briefly before, and my race lives longer than most of the Mannish races, but we do age like the others, and die. I was partially soul-trapped to go in. It was that, or become a vampire, and then seek a cure while all of Skyrim tries to kill me for it."
"Are you still partially soul-trapped?"
Liv shook her head at Spencer. "Just needed it to happen once, then Serana unbound the piece of my soul somehow. I don't… really understand how. It's complicated Conjuration magic that touches on Mysticism in places. But it means I can freely come and go to the Soul Cairn, if I must."
"Would these people be looking for you, through this place?" Hotch asked.
"I don't know. I can't think of why Valerica would want to get me back, and Serana and I… didn't exactly part on the best of terms. So I can't think of a reason why she'd think I'm alive. It wasn't exactly a secret to a lot of people that I was close to, that I was going to fight Alduin in Sovngard. It… could be a very real thing for them that I simply died in defeating Alduin, and remained, despite going there with my physical body. They wouldn't know, and there's no real way to dispute that. Unless Tsun sent someone back to say that I wasn't dead, but lost. But…" Liv shook her head again, lips pursed into a grimace. "It's a hope I'm trying not to hold onto. If I want to defeat Alduin and go home, then I will probably need to do it on my own."
"But basically, we can expect the possibility of someone you know coming through the portals?" JJ checked, neatening a stack of files in front of her.
"I wouldn't say expect, but maybe? I can't know anything for sure until I've gone out to see where the portal was opened. And in snowfall like this…" Liv sighed, gesturing out the window. "I can do a lot in bad snowy weather, but this is the kind of thing you wait out. It'll do more harm than good to push on through this."
Unfortunately, Liv thought.
"Last night, you said something to me in a language I don't recognize," Hotch said after a moment. "What did you say?"
Liv looked back at him with a soft hum, tucking her hair behind an ear. "It was dovahzul, an ancient and almost-forgotten language from the Mythic Era. I was saying I could take care of myself. Just because I am generally unfamiliar and unsure in your cities doesn't mean I am soft and incapable," she shrugged. It wasn't entirely true, but not entirely false. "Dovahzul has power in and of itself, in the right circumstances, too. One of the extra tricks up my sleeve, so to speak."
Hotch frowned, eyes dark and disapproving. "I would appreciate it if you could stick to English when we're talking, and to consider your tone in front of the people we work with."
Liv almost bristled, the dragon in her spitting about being ordered. "I bend the knee to none."
"I'm not asking you to 'bend the knee'. I'm asking you to use common decency to present a united front –"
"Agents!" Deputy Flack called, knocking on the door as she entered, interrupting whatever else Hotch was going to say. "Sorry to interrupt, but we just found another victim. He's still alive, and critical, but our doctor says he's doing his best."
Liv stayed where she was while Rossi and Prentiss stood and left with Flack, looking out the window to see the snowfall lessening. The rest of the team dispersed and turned their attention away from the table, where Liv and Spencer still sat.
"You're gonna head out?" Reid asked softly.
Liv nodded, slowly pushing out of her chair. "While I can. You should find out as much about the victim as you can; if I'm not back by around dawn then assume I'm not coming back, or I will maybe need to be found," she shrugged, gathering warm clothes and Qahnaarin.
"You're going just like that?!"
"Yes? I'll be warm enough, and I would rather be light if I need to escape than lose precious resources," she said, expression softening at Spencer's worried look and padded closer, fingertips touching his cheek. "I'll be fine, Spencer. Concentrate here," Liv finished softly, offering him a smile before she stepped back and slipped away.
Spencer smiled at her back, the ghost touch of her fingertips lingering on his cheek for hours after she'd gone.
Liv trekked through the snow, Qahnaarin strapped to her back and puffed through the strain of thick and freshly fallen snow.
It was still stupid to head out this far with the snowfall still strong, but she needed to get to the portal while the magika that had opened it was still strong enough to track, and see what was there, who was there.
The journey took her the better part of the day, briefly longing for coffee a little after noon, if only for the warmth. Liv sighed and looked back the way she'd come, the village a good ways down the mountain and mostly concealed by the forest around her.
It could almost be back home, if it wasn't for how different the signs looked, she thought, shuddering when the breeze brought a trace of magika down with it.
She was close.
Liv broke through into a clearing a few minutes later, the ground scorched and devoid of snow around the area where the portal had opened up, the faint smell of burnt void salts and bonemeal lifting on the breeze.
There was nothing left of the portal besides the scorched earth, no trace of further magic beyond what traces remained.
Liv knew exactly how to stabilize the portal from this side; she'd seen Serana do it a handful of times before. Liv just had no idea what exactly would be on the other side of the portal, waiting to come out. The question remained, though: did she try to help, or did she make the effort to sabotage what came as a blessing in disguise?
"Well, he's stable now, and he has recovered surprisingly fast. Unusually fast, even," the doctor said, sighing as he spoke to Rossi and Prentiss, flipping through the notes in the file before snapping it shut. "For his continued recovery, I'd suggest that you keep it brief, but you can go in and ask him a few questions about what happened."
"Thank you, doctor. We appreciate that," Rossi said, smile warm and gentle.
"Is there anything you can tell us about his recovery, maybe? Or anything that he's said that was particularly out of the ordinary?" Prentiss asked.
The doctor hummed, thinking for a moment. "There was a moment while we were stabilizing him, where he was awake, and talked about a 'golden light washing over him' that apparently made him feel better, but honestly… that could just be the lights overhead and the pain and drugs. I've heard people say all sorts of things like that before," he sighed. "I'll be nearby, so feel free to shout if you need me."
"Thanks again," Prentiss smiled, following Rossi to the man's bed.
"Good afternoon, Mister Lindsey –"
"Jason, please," he said, clearing his throat and shifted in the bed, grimacing at the movement.
"Jason," Prentiss continued with a smile. "We're sorry to bother you, so soon after your attack, but we're Supervisory Special Agents Rossi, and Prentiss," she said, gesturing at each of them in turn. "We're here to investigate the attacks that have been happening around here, and the people who found you claimed you'd been attacked too?"
"Pleasure to meet you, Ma'am, Sir. Well, yeah I guess that's right," he said, rubbing a hand over his neck. "I don't remember much of what happened, actually. Just someone grabbing me from behind and then… I guess, I'm not too sure…."
Emily smiled gently, shaking her head slightly. "That's alright; take your time and think about it carefully, if it's not too much strain. Where were you coming from, and where were you going?"
"I was coming back from a trip in the woods as soon as the snow lifted a little. I spent the past few days checking for any traps that were left out from a couple tourists that were here on a hunting vacation. Didn't find any, which was good… and then I was gonna go get something hot to drink at the diner. Took the back alleys into town, instead of the main road in like I usually do when I head out."
Emily nodded, pen making a few furious scratches on her notepad.
"What do you remember seeing?"
"Nothing unusual, really. It was quiet, with all the snow. I doubt I would've heard a bear walk up behind me even if she growled," Jason chuckled, leaning back against the bed and relaxed more into it. "Got the feeling I was being followed though. Figures."
"Did you see anything or anyone?" Rossi asked, stepping closer to the man's bed.
"Nah, nothing that I can remember," he frowned, eyes drifting off to the side as he pursed his lips. "I think I turned around once, thought I maybe saw red eyes staring back at me before they disappeared, but honestly? I could've just been awake for too long. It was a long hike back from where I'd been checking the traps, and back to town. Probably should've just gone straight home."
"There was no way you could've known this would happen," Prentiss said, meeting his gaze and slowly flipped her notebook closed.
"You know, now that I think of it… I kind of remember being covered in golden light, and feeling really warm, even though I was lying down in the snow. I guess it's stupid and doesn't mean anything in the long term, but… I remember that pretty clearly," Jason said, shrugging as he offered a meek smile. "I wish I could be of more help, agents."
Rossi patted his hand, shaking his head slightly. "Anything you remember is worth something to us; I'll leave my card here for you, and feel free to text or call whenever you remember anything new, alright?"
"Yeah, alright. That sounds good," he nodded, thanking Rossi for the card and wished them luck as they left.
"I guess we'll need some input from Liv on this one, after all," Rossi said once they stepped outside, huddling into his coat.
Prentiss nodded, then frowned. "Yeah, but I've never seen her get that pushy before. She's taken the lead a couple times when we go out, but she's never pushed back against Hotch, orders or suggestions before. Think maybe it's the stress of having magic but not being able to use it, and the weirdness of the case?"
"I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt," he nodded. "But we'll have to see if she keeps pushing after this case is over, and she's healed up. But I do agree, she's definitely a leader. After you," he said, opening the door to their cabin for Prentiss, took one look around the cabin and closed the door behind them before turning back to the team. "I take it Liv went for her walk."