Oh hi! I…have…writer's…block. So here's a Kaya one shot that no one asked for until I get unstuck! Enjoy!

XXXXXXXXX

"Mother, I don't like this dress very much," I said, tugging on the high collar. All Mother bought were feedsack dresses and I hated them every single time. The print was too floral, the collar was too stiff, and don't even think about having anything about your shins showing. God forbid. I was sitting at our tiny kitchen table, my journal placed directly in front of me. I twirled my fountain pen between my fingers before writing the date: September 23, 1931.

"Well, Kaya, I need you to look presentable before the Littleseas come over," my mother wiped down the counter as she spoke. "And put your stockings and shoes on, please. You can journal later."

I rolled my eyes. "Why are we having the Littleseas for dinner again? We don't even like them."

"Kaya, please," my mother scolded. "Henry Littlesea is a nice boy and I think you two should get to know each other better. Maybe it'll be good for you to settle down a bit."

"I know Henry, Mother. He's so…boring." I pressed my pen to the paper and started to write. One day, I'll get out of this place. I don't know where I'll go, but it will be far away from La Push, Washington. I sometimes think people forget they have a choice to move on from this place. "Besides, doesn't he like Florence Ateara? You'd be better off setting me up with herbrother. Since you've somehow convinced yourself that I'm incapable of meeting a man on my own."

Mother chuckled, "I don't think you're incapable of meeting a man; I need to make sure you meet the right man."

"He's out there…somewhere," I mumbled, still writing. I've read about big cities like New York. I don't feel like I need a husband to make it. All I need is a head start and all of my focus. "Just know that he's not Henry Littlesea."

"Kaya Rose Hadley, listen to your mother and get ready for this dinner," my father's baritone voice boomed from the back of our small house. My father was a well-rounded man. Small business owner, family man, slight social climber. You would think that we lived somewhere in the South where they trade and marry off their children to keep businesses growing. I might as well hold out my hand while fanning myself and speaking in a twang. The social ladder in La Push wasn't a very tall one, but my parents wanted for us to be as comfortable as possible. And to them, that meant rubbing elbows with the other business owners in town. The Littleseas, the Uleys, and the Atearas.

"As long as it's no one from that damned Black family," my father would mutter under his breath whenever my mother would talk about setting me up on another date. I never understood his vendetta against the Black family, but he held onto it for dear life. I think he and Joseph Black are some kind of long-term rivals; he never liked to talk about it. It got him too worked up.

I closed my journal with a thud and stood up from the table. As I made my way to my bedroom, I passed the big window that looked out to the woods behind our house. I would give anything to be outside right now. Mother didn't like me going into the woods by myself, but anytime she wasn't paying attention, I would sneak off to this clearing I found. It was a beautiful spot near a stream. The colorful flowers were a nice contrast against the doom and bloom that was La Push. Forever raining. I loved the rain because it brought such beauty to the world. But I missed sunshine when it was gone.

Sitting on my bed, I started to pull on my tights, effectively putting a run in them. I sighed as I pulled them back off by the toe. Good…I hated wearing tights anyway. I balled them up and tossed them on the floor before slipping on my little black heels. Just as I tightened the buckle, there was a knock at the door. I checked the mirror one more time, making sure there wasn't a hair out of place for my parents, our guests, and, of course specifically, Henry Littlesea. I rushed out of my bedroom, smoothing down my dress. "Where are your tights, Kaya?" my mother scolded as she started to open the door.

"They're going into the garbage just like this idea," I said lowly as the door swung open. Henry stood between his parents just as lanky and awkward as I remember him to be. His white collared shirt was supposed to be tightfitting but settled awkwardly on his insanely flat chest. His khaki pants sat well on his waist with an ugly brown belt. He wasn't ugly. In fact, Henry was really cute in the face. He was just…blah as a person. "Hi Henry," I smiled brightly. "Mr. and Mrs. Littlesea, it's so good to see you again."

"Hello Kaya, Marjorie. Thank you so much for the invitation today." James Littlesea spoke politely. They stepped into the house just as my father came from his small study. My mother flitted to the kitchen to start drinks just as I moved to close the door.

I glanced outside just as it was closing to see Ephraim Black walking past. Now that was a man. Tall, muscular, confident. His silky black hair swept well past his shoulders and he always looked like he wanted to punch someone in the face. Except anytime that he looked at me. Whenever Ephraim Black saw me, his face would soften, his beautiful brown eyes would twinkle, and sometimes his mouth would lift into a small smile. I didn't know him personally. Anytime we were ever in the same room, mostly in the old council hall for small events and parties, my father made it a point to steer me in the opposite direction.

There was definitely something strange about him. One day he was a regular reservation boy, then the next he had grown 8 inches, bulked up, and would mysteriously disappear into the woods for hours at a time. No one knew what his deal was. Almost as if he knew I was looking, Ephraim turned to look at me, our eyes locking. I raised my hand to wave, but it fell flat. He flashed a smile at me, nodding before walking away.

"Kaya!" my father called.

"Coming!" I called back, watching Ephraim walk away. I wasn't sure if I wanted to actually know him. There was always something interesting about him, but I could never tell if I just wanted to piss off my father or if he was just that mysterious and intriguing to me.

Dinner went well, as expected. The men talked business while the women just sat and nodded and laughed as we were often trained to do. It was sick. Every once and a while, I would ask questions about the business and I could tell it made people uncomfortable. Especially someone like Henry who obviously didn't want to be part of his father's business at all. Every time James mentioned the day that Henry would take over, he visibly shrank down in his seat. I even mentioned as a half-joke that I wanted to take over for my father and just reveled in how uncomfortable that made everyone.

As I was helping my mother clean up the kitchen, she hummed a little song I'd always hear as a child. It was a lullaby. I set the rest of the dishes on the counter and leaned on it, watching her. I always wondered if she wanted more for herself. She married my father really early in her life and had me right after they got married. Other the years, my parents tried to have other children, but my mother would miscarry every time. So, it was just me. I wasn't the easiest child. I was mouthy and I challenged everything. I wanted more than what La Push could offer me, and I think my parents knew that. Something in me was calling for something greater. I wondered if my mother ever felt that for herself. "Honey, go talk to Henry. He's sitting outside on the porch," she told me.

"Mom," I whined.

"Now, Kaya," she said sternly.

Grumbling to myself, I walked out the backdoor to the porch. Henry had himself perched on the railing, staring at a picture. I smiled a little at the sight. I was glad that I wasn't the only one who thought this was a ridiculous idea. Henry was clearly uncomfortable at the idea of knowing me in any romantic way just as I was. In simple terms: he wasn't my type. And I wasn't his. "Is that Florence?" I asked, making my presence known. My heels clacked on the old, painted wood as I crossed to sit next to him. He nodded, putting the picture back in his pocket. "I've always thought she was so beautiful."

"The most beautiful girl I've ever seen," he sighed. "Her father doesn't want her dating anyone, but I know she loves me like I love her."

Ah, yes, Quil Ateara: the great tyrant of La Push. He was easily the strictest man I'd ever met. I don't think I've ever seen his children have fun. Quil Jr, Florence, and Amelia were never allowed to hang out after school with the rest of us. The closest I'd ever seen anyone in the Ateara house have any fun was when younger Quil started hanging out with Ephraim Black every once and a while. Even then, it wasn't for long and he always came back looking more frustrated and wound up than before. "How do you see her?" I asked Henry. "There's no way Quil is letting you walk through his front door."

"She keeps her window open for me every night," he explained. "After my parents go to sleep, I sneak out of my window and climb into hers. She's just incredible, Kaya. We sit up all night just talking. I…I feel like she understands me more than anyone in the world. We're going to run away together one day, I know it."

Yeah, good luck with that. Florence was the youngest of the Ateara clan and safely tucked in her father's hand. I don't see her as the runaway type. She'd be more the type to get pregnant out of wedlock and beg her father's forgiveness. I looked at Henry and felt a pang of sympathy for the guy. Living on the reservation was hard and the politics of it all never made it better. It made it much, much, much, much worse. Which is why I wanted out. "Where would you go?" I decided to humor him for a while.

He shrugged. "Somewhere far like…Seattle. Or Portland." Jesus. That's far to him? I would walk to Seattle from here and not be tired when I got there. "Or California."

"Ooh, California would be fun. You know there are things past the west coast, though, right?" I watched his face as he processed. He shook his head.

"I wouldn't want to stray too far. What if people need me here?"

And there it is…the La Push trap. What if people need me here? There's nothing that important to keep you shackled to this place. Henry was only thinking as far as his chains would allow him. "But what if your purpose is somewhere out there?" I waved my hand. "What if her purpose is somewhere out there? Wouldn't you want to at least explore those possibilities?"

"Well, what about you? Where would you go?" he asked. "Where's your purpose?"

I looked out to the tree line, contemplating his question. New York? Boston? Philadelphia? All I knew was that it needed to be somewhere big, somewhere extravagant. "I don't know yet," I answered honestly. "But…I'll know soon, I think."

Henry sighed, "Why are we doing this, Kaya?"

I shrugged, "I have no idea. I'd give anything to get out of here right now."

He sat up suddenly. "Why don't we?"

"Why don't we what?"

"We can let our parents keep talking inside. I can go see Florence and you're free to do whatever you want."

It was an intriguing offer. As much as I wanted to take him up on it, it was risky. For both of us. If I got caught hanging out in the woods again, my parents would lose their shit. And if Henry got caught sneaking into Florence Ateara's window in broad daylight, he was sure to be murdered. Honestly, I didn't feel like being responsible for Henry's death. "I don't know, Henry…"

"Come on, you're the great Kaya Hadley. Since when do you worry about getting in trouble?" he playfully pushed my shoulder.

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "Are you actually trying to challenge me right now?"

He shrugged, feigning innocence. "What are you going to do about it?"

I felt myself itching to get out of there the more we talked about it. I don't know what it was, but I just needed to explore more than I was ever allowed to. The other girls were so content with just being confined to the invisible walls of the reservation. There's so much more out there. And even if that just means, just taking a walk in the woods, it was better than taking a walk on a street. A street is safe. I wanted—no, needed—to see something new, something else. Something…unexpected.

Bolting to my feet, I rushed inside to tell my parents a little white lie. I let them know that Henry and I were going for a walk and would be back. The next thing I knew, Henry and I were going in separate directions. When I made it to the woodland edge, I slipped off my heels and dropped them in a nearby bush. I peeked over my shoulder to make sure no one saw and just began to wander.

I loved everything about the forest. Feeling the leaves crunch under my feet, seeing all the little creatures scurry about, breathing fresher air. Actually, I don't know if it's fresher, but I wasn't being suffocated by the people of La Push, so it was fresher to me. I loved my people, don't get me wrong. But I was just ready for something to change in my life. The stagnant life wasn't for me.

Breaking into my clearing, I dipped my feet into the stream to clean them. The sun warmed my skin just enough for me to ignore how itchy and uncomfortable this stupid dress was. I leaned back on my hands and sighed as I listened to all of the beautiful noises of nature. I hoped Henry was having a good time with Florence. She was a sweet girl and she definitely deserved a good guy like Henry. On such a small reservation, you get to know people pretty well. And, unfortunately, reputation meant everything to these people. I really hoped that that changed in the future.

Like I said before, there were only a few families that were deemed important around here. The Uleys, the Atearas, the Littleseas, the Blacks, and us. Our parents were responsible for a lot of the businesses around here; we helped to keep the reservation afloat because some of the older residents felt like we could somehow survive off of the earth and whatever. The only family out of the five that wasn't in business were the Blacks; Joseph Black was the Chief and, therefore, way more important than any of us. There were four kids: Dorothy, Ephraim, Deborah, and Susanah. I, personally, always liked the Blacks, but I also just liked to spite my father any chance I got. I remember being friends with the twins, Deborah and Susanah, when we were very small children, but now we don't speak. All of the girls keep to themselves and Ephraim is always running around with Quil Ateara Jr and Levi Uley.

Levi Uley used to be the golden boy; straight A student, school president, killer smile. And a total player. Despite hanging out with Ephraim, everyone still loves him. My parents tried to set me up with him over a year ago and I promptly shut that down. At the time, I had a bit of a crush on his older brother Caleb and Levi had been trying to figure out how to approach his now girlfriend, Ellen Longtree.

But enough about our genealogy. This was the day that my life changed. I heard a twig snap behind me. That wasn't unusual. I laid on my back and closed my eyes as the sun shone between the trees. Another twig snapped. I cracked an eye and looked around. There was nothing. Closing my eyes again, I soaked up the warmth from the shining sun. I assumed it was an animal and…I wasn't wrong. After more rustling, a shadow cast itself in the way of the sun. Reaching up, I swat at whatever was casting the shadow and made hard contact with something wet and something hairy. When the thing made a huffing noise, I opened my eyes and made direct eye contact with a giant, horse sized…dog. It looked at me with a cocked head and curious eyes. When I blinked, it blinked. And as I started to sit up, it moved backward as if giving me enough space to stand. Even standing up, this thing was taller than me, but it obviously wasn't rabid or else I'd be dead. Looking closer now, I could see it was a wolf, but I'd never seen wolves this huge before. It was beautiful. The wolf stood easily over 8 feet tall and radiated a certain confidence that you'd only expect from humans. Its russet colored coat was a little shaggy but looked incredibly soft. He cocked his head again at me. I didn't say anything; I just reached out for him.

The wolf stepped backward, almost recoiling from me. "I know you're not afraid of me," I chuckled. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have gotten so close."

When he didn't move, I dropped my hand at my side. The wolf lowered himself on his belly, his tail wagging a little. I felt a slight smile spread on my face before sitting on the ground and crossing my legs. I patted the ground in front of me, beckoning the wolf closer. He scooted on his belly toward me, still cautious. "If you don't come closer, I will," I warned playfully. I don't know why I felt so comfortable. Nothing in nature had actual intention to hurt us. And I think if you act afraid, they know and that makes them afraid. We're all just here to understand each other as best we can, right?

The wolf let out a frustrated huff again, shaking its head. I sat up in shock. "C-Can you can understand me?" It shook its head again, scooting backward away from me. I stood up and started to walk toward him. "Yes, you can!"

He stood up at his full height and let out a low growl from his chest. It wasn't threatening; it was some kind of warning. I snorted, "Nice try. That doesn't scare me." I continued to move toward him until I was within touching distance. When I reached my hand out again, he didn't move. He let me touch the fur on his neck a little. I was right. It was so soft. I lightly scratched at the wolf and listened as it purred like a little kitten. "You're not so scary…" I cooed.

He started to sniff me all over and it was the strangest feeling. I felt myself stiffen as he ran his nose around my belly then up my shoulder and into my hair. He let out an excited little yip as I continued to rub his fur. Dropping to his belly again, he nudged my leg with his snout. I giggled, "I thought you were supposed to be the big, bad wolf. You're acting like a little puppy dog." I sat down next to him and smiled when he laid his head in my lap. "So, you can understand me, right?"

His giant head bobbed up and down before settling back in my lap. "How is that possible?" I asked. He huffed and shook his head. "Do you have a name?" He nodded. "Do I know it?" He nodded again. "Do you know me?" Another nod.

We had learned the legend of the wolf in school. According to the really old people on the reservation, our people came from shape shifters. Men who could turn into wolves at will in order to protect our tribe from "the Cold Ones." I never believed in that crap. It was too farfetched. And even if it was true, who around here would even know how to shape shift? How do we know who "the Cold Ones" are? They never taught us that in school.

Was it entirely possible that someone that I know was one of these shape shifting wolves? Were there more? As I was asking that question in my head, a howl came from a far distance. The wolf hopped up in an instant and started toward the direction of the howl. I rushed to stand and reached out, "Wait! Where are you going?"

He halted himself before turning to me with a level of comprehension and concern that was way past animal. He trotted toward me and poking at me with his snout. "Hey!" I exclaimed. I, somehow, got myself turned around and he started pushing me toward the tree line. Back to the reservation. He pushed me until I was out of the woods and then started to leave. I whipped around as quick as I could, but it was too late. The wolf was gone.

I blew out a breath, frustrated. The sun was starting to set, and I cursed, knowing my parents would be expecting me back soon. When I made it back in the house, my mother was cleaning up once again. Dropping my shoes at the door, I watched as she sung to herself and swept the floor. My father was sitting in a chair in the living room with a book in his hand. I dropped down on the couch and tucked my feet under me. "Kaya, no plopping, please. It's unladylike," my mother scolded.

"Sorry, Mother," I mumbled, smoothing my skirt. The fire crackled as they continued to live as if I wasn't there. My mother picked up the scotch glasses from the table and dusted under them. Spotless. I thought about the wolf again. I could still feel the softness of his fur on my hands. The warmth of his body was still lingering. "Dad," I said softly.

"Yes, sweetheart," he responded, distractedly.

"What do you know about werewolves?" I asked, carefully.

I heard a gasp and the breaking of glass behind me. My father tensed, his fingers gripping the book in his hand alarmingly hard. "What?" he choked.

"Werewolves? The legends? Is there more to know about them?"

"Why are you asking, Kaya?" My father closed his book before turning to me. His matching chocolate brown eyes met mine. His tan skin seemed to pale in that instant. I watched his Adam's Apple bob as he swallowed, trying to contain his surprise. Clearing his throat, he shifted in his seat.

I shrugged and the lie smoothly slipped from my lips, "I'm just curious."

"Why the sudden interest in the legend, Kaya? You never seemed to care about them before."

Ok, true. Whenever we learned about legend, I was annoyed at the idea of them teaching us a piece of fiction and passing it off as what was supposed to be tribe history. I felt like if they were going to be teaching us about these magical beings, tell us that they're real once and for all. "I've been finding myself more and more interested in learning our history…that's all," I watched him closely, unblinking. Waiting. Waiting for him to make an excuse like he always did.

He let out a small chuckle before looking down at his book again, opening it. "They're just silly stories, Kaya. They don't mean anything."

"Why do we learn them then?" I challenged.

"It's just tradition."

"But doesn't that seem like a silly tradition if they don't mean anything?"

"Damn it, Kaya!" Father threw his book on the ground. I jumped as the book landed on the hardwood floor with a loud thud. "I'm sick of the questions!"

I pursed my lips as I folded my arms over my chest. My father was insufferable and intolerable. He took that man of the house role seriously and it was more often than not that we butt heads. I craved a certain independence that he didn't want to even entertain the thought of. If he knew I wanted to leave La Push, his head would explode. I pushed myself up from the couch and stormed to my bedroom. "This is bullshit…" I mumbled.

"Kaya, language!"

XXXXXXXXX

Every day for a month, I went out to the same clearing at dusk to see the wolf. He showed up every single time. Every day, we would sit in the middle of the clearing and just be in each other's presence. I would ask him questions, almost like a game, and he would answer yes or no. From what I knew, he was a shape shifter like I thought, we were the same age, and we didn't know each other well. I had my suspicions on who it was, but every time I asked if I could guess his name, he would leave. I felt this insane connection to this thing, and I didn't know how I felt about it. But I couldn't help it, I was obsessed.

After days of me asking my mother and father questions about the legends, my mother finally broke down and told me the truth. She said that there had been a pack of wolves before this generation and that's why we had been taught the legends all our lives. She snuck into my bedroom one night while I was writing and told me she knew about three boys my age that had phased because of some non-threatening vampires that lived in the next town over. When I asked her why Dad didn't just tell me that, she told me that I shouldn't even know these things. That I shouldn't concern myself with the matters of the wolves. It was too dangerous. It wasn't safe for girls like me. Whatever that meant.

"When are you going to show yourself to me?" I asked, petting the fur on his forehead. "I won't tell, I promise." He just shook his head before settling his large head back on my lap. Every time I was out here, I felt this pull to him. To all of them. I've seen all of them in this same clearing and they were all so majestic and beautiful. One of them was a gorgeous jet-black wolf; he stood confident and had a no non-sense air about him. He was a little stiff toward me at first, but, after a small stint with a coyote, he started to become very protective of me. The other one was a chocolate brown wolf with a light spot around his right eye. He was sweet and reserved. But neither of them was like my russet wolf. He was special to me.

Because he couldn't talk back to me, I felt comfortable enough to tell my wolf all of my secrets. All of my desires. Everything I wanted in life. It was like a more freeing version of my journal.

"Please?" I asked. He let out a breath, nuzzling closer. I sighed before grabbing my journal from the ground and my pen. I gently laid it atop his head as he dozed, and I began to write.

October 30, 1931

I've been struggling with the idea of leaving now that I know these wolves. Whatever it is about them, I feel this need to take care of them. There's a rumor that LU and QA are the other two wolves, but every time I want to know about mine, I can never get a straight answer. I don't think I've ever felt more conflicted about what I'm going to do with my life than I do right now. If I leave, then I might never see them again. If I do, I get to live the life I've always imagined for myself.

I pray that I find my purpose soon. I don't think I'm meant to live the sedentary life that all of the women around here live. Women like my mother or Beatrice or even the daughters of these other families who find it perfectly ok to sit around and bake and clean. I can't even imagine it. Being someone's wife. Being confined to the house all day every day.

Maybe I met these wolves for a reason. Maybe they have something to do with my purpose. Who knows?

K

As I let my pen glide in my signature, my wolf reached his paw up and swiped at it playfully. I giggled, pulling away before I could make any unnecessary marks on the page. "Ok, ok, I'm done," I said, closing my journal again. I wrapped the leather band around it and placed it on the ground. "So, what do you want to do then? Play fetch? Chase your tail? Lick your own ass?"

He looked up at me with a teasing glare. Pushing his head off of my lap, I stood up and went to find a stick. I watched as his tail wagged. Waving it around his face, I goaded him, "Do you want the stick?" He rolled his eyes before laying on his side. "Come on, do a trick for me!"

I dropped to my knees and rubbed his belly. "You know you want to," I sang. He rolled over and buried his face in my hands. I rubbed his face and coddled him more. "Just one trick?" I asked. When my wolf looked up at me, it was the most human I'd ever seen him. I watched carefully as he stood up and trotted toward the trees. "Wait, are you leaving?" I asked. He didn't look back at me. He just disappeared. I stood up to chase after him when a man appeared before me.

I didn't look at his face straight away. Mostly because I was nervous to see who it was. Who was this wolf that I'd been spending every evening with? He was naked. I swallowed hard as I scaled up the length of his body until I saw that same silky black hair sweeping past his shoulders that I had seen from a distance a million times before. My breath caught as I looked at Ephraim Black; this was the closest I'd ever been to him. His deep voice was melodious to my ears, "Hi Kaya."

"Ephraim," I breathed out.

"Cool trick, right?" He shrugged, stepping forward. "Surprised?"

I let out a breath and tucked my hair behind my ear awkwardly. "More that you're naked than anything."

He chuckled before placing his hands over his groin. "Yeah, sorry about that. I, uh, lost my pants earlier today."

My heart was pounding in my chest. He was still my wolf, so I didn't feel afraid of him. I think I was nervous to be around him as a human. He could speak to me now. It wasn't just an animal that I was telling all of my secrets too; Ephraim was a person. I had thought about the possibility of it being Ephraim many times, but always dismissed the idea. I figured it was someone that I knew more. Ephraim and I had only ever been in the same room when it was a crowd full of people. Even then, we never actually spoke to each other. "This is crazy," I chuckled.

"What is, angel?" he asked, taking a step forward.

"It's you," I smiled. "All of the mystery around the elusive Ephraim Black and turns out he's just a big puppy dog who likes head scratches and belly rubs."

He laughed and it was a beautiful sound. "Well, the wolf likes the belly rubs more than the human; I was definitely enjoying the company more."

I felt my face get hot as my stomach fluttered. I started to play with the hem of my dress to try to release some of the nervous energy. My eyes were trained on the ground. Not because I was intimidated. But because I didn't trust myself to look at him. "So…" I started. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Honestly? I was just enjoying our time together. I thought if you knew it was me, you would stop coming to see me," he said. I didn't notice that he was continuing to move forward me until his feet came into my view. He tilted my chin so I was facing him and I felt completely breathless. His hands were scorching hot, but I didn't mind it. Ephraim was touching me. And not fur to skin contact. "I always see you around, but you're always too far for me to reach. I've noticed you my whole life from across the room. Always being pulled away by your parents or being distracted by your friends. How I known you my whole life and we're never spoken is beyond me."

He was still holding my chin, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. He smelled of the woods but only in the most intoxicating way. My hand reached to touch his face and I was shocked by how soft his cheek was. I felt like I was in a trance. He was so close to me and I…I couldn't think. I couldn't hear anything. I could only feel him. When he leaned in to kiss me, I snapped out of it abruptly. "What are you doing?" I asked incredulously, pushing his chest. He grabbed my hand and held it to his beating heart.

"Well, I was about to kiss you. Was that…not what was about to happen?"

"I don't know you," I answered, watching his eyes. His face lit up in sudden realization and ran a hand through his hair.

"Right," he chuckled. "I forget. I've been learning so much about you in the past month; it feels like you're already mine."

"Yours?" I whispered.

Ephraim blew out a breath before turning away from me. "I can't get you out of my head, angel. Your smile, your laugh, just…everything. And I'd been wanting to come here as me for weeks just so I could talk to you, and I hate that I stopped myself every time. I mean, I've always known you were different even before we met, and now I feel this connection to you that's unlike anything I've ever felt. I don't know what it means; I want more than anything to figure it out, but I don't think I can."

I stepped toward him and grabbed his hand until he was facing me again. "Why not?" I asked, lacing our fingers together. "What if I wanted to figure it out too? Are you telling me that's not possible?"

He sighed as he looked down at our hands, "The Elders are so strict with us. They don't want us to get involved with anyone because they don't want to risk anyone getting hurt." He took my other hand in his. "Tell me that you feel what I feel."

I nodded, embracing the warmth that was radiating from him. I felt that same warmth in my heart. Was that crazy though? I was having such intense feelings for this guy that I knew nothing about. But just like he knew all of my secrets, I knew his biggest secret. He's protected me, he's comforted me. I knew him and his heart. "I do," I said quietly. "But it scares me."

"It scares me too," he responded quickly. "Look, we can take this as slow as you want. No one has to know. We can keep meeting here like usual! I just don't think I can quit you even if I wanted to, angel."

My mind wandered for a second. What would this mean for me? Would it mean that we just casually see each other for a while? He still couldn't date because of 'the Elders.' I definitely couldn't see him because my father would lose his shit. How Romeo and Juliet. Two rival houses, two defiant children. But did all of that matter? I don't think it did. I wanted so much to explore why I was having these feelings and what that meant for my future.

"Kaya," he said. God, my name sounded so nice coming out of his mouth. "You can say no, if that's what you feel in your heart."

"I don't want to say no!" I said quickly. "I…I want to know you. I need to. I think going slow will be good. For both of us…"

A wide smile spread across his face. It was brilliant and perfect. I smiled back at him before biting my lower lip. I watched as his eyes flickered down to my lips before leaning in again to kiss me, his eyes closing. I grabbed his face with one hand and squished. He grunted a little before furrowing his eyebrows. "So I'm not going to kiss you today?" he asked, his voice muffled from my hand.

"Not while you're naked," I teased before forcing myself to turn around and walk back to my house. "See you tomorrow!"

"You're going to be the death of me, aren't you?" he called.

"Probably!" I called back.

XXXXXXXXX

I don't know.