Before
Their sabers clash, making his arms vibrate with the impact. Good. It feels so good to dance with her again.
And this time, he won't go easy on her. There's no bowcaster wound to slow him down, and he's brimming with dark power as he relentlessly strikes at her blade. Not her. Never her. But she will learn the strength of the dark side.
Her face has begun to grow afraid, her movements sloppy. She's getting dangerously tired and Kylo knows that soon, soon she will have to surrender. To him. To the dark. It is the only way.
Rey stumbles and Kylo tangles her saber with his own, casting his grandfather's blade into the darkness. Now she's disarmed and helpless, her eyes wide with fear as she flinches from his descending lightsaber.
"Oh, Rey … don't you know that I'd never hurt you?" he purrs as he pulls back his attack, extinguishing his saber and replacing it on his belt.
She blinks up at him and he seizes her by the shoulders, pulling her to him, kissing her roughly, claiming her. The moan she makes into his mouth is absolutely filthy. "Yes," he croons. "Feel what the dark side can give you."
Grinding his hardness against her, he pins her hands to the wall, her wrists above her head. Oh, he likes her like this, so beautifully vulnerable. He savors her desire tinged with shame and gorges himself on her light.
It takes very little coaxing before she's writhing against him, his other hand traveling the length of her body. He reaches her belt and swiftly turns her around, moving the hand holding her wrists around her throat. Deftly, he dips his fingers into her tight, wet heat and strokes her quickly. It doesn't take much to make her ready.
WIth no ceremony, he bends her over and rips down her leggings, taking only a moment to appreciate the view of her glistening pink folds as he frees his raging erection before he's plunging into her in one brutal thrust.
He sets a punishing pace, pulling her by her hips to deepen his reach. He wants to wreck her.
"You—are—mine!" he bellows as he bottoms out, as far inside her as it's possible to be. Kylo never wants to leave.
"Yes! I'm yours, I'm yours, Ben!"
Kylo's eyes pop open as he tumbles out of his detailed fantasy, his hand around his cock and his mind a storm. Why … how … Not that name.
Suddenly embarrassed to have taken his hardness in hand in the middle of the day, he tucks himself back into his trousers as best he can with how hard he still is. Gods, he's getting reckless. He's on his throne and anyone could have come in. Yes, they don't tend to bother him, but it was risky at best.
Stalking to his research station, he pulls up every single record he can even think of on the history of the Jedi and the Sith. He has to find out what binds he and Rey. The fantasies are getting stronger, darker, more lascivious. He must pull her into the dark with him, for the alternative is a lifetime of this madness.
Flipping through records, one makes him stop. Exegol … he hasn't seen more than vague references to the fabled planet in years. It had taken him hours to crack into this old database from the Empire, but it's yielding such results. He almost lets himself get sidetracked into finding out more about the world, but then something catches his eye.
Twin stars. Trapped in orbit. He goes to the record, something partial, but gleaned from an old Jedi holocron. It had been Empire policy to strip all data before destroying them and Kylo has managed to stumble onto a treasure trove of information.
At first, he nearly moves on, but then he realizes it's not about stars at all. No … it's … could it be? Is this what he and Rey are?
He keeps reading avidly.
One soul, two bodies … Tied together forever … Intense connection … Beyond lovers, beyond family.
Dyad.
Sitting back, his jaw goes slack. The Force is screaming at him that this is it. This is what happened to them. Though … no … they were born this way.
The thought fills him with fire and purpose. She won't be able to refuse him, not now.
Not ever.
Rey was born his.
Now
"Ugh," she huffs out before slumping over the dejarik table. The splint came off yesterday but she's still sore.
"Turn this page, please," Ben asks her, ignoring how she's hiding her face in her elbow.
She lifts her head and reaches to the book Ben has been studying, turning the page for him.
"Are you getting anywhere?" she asks.
He wants to tell her yes, that he's making some headway. But they're almost all the way through the texts and they've found nothing. Every time they come across something encouraging, it always, always indicates that the knowledge is forbidden.
Sighing, he shakes his head. "No … I think … I think it's time for us to leave Jakku."
She's been strangely reticent to leave the dunes. Rey is much more her old self, but she's still cautious. Like her newly healed arm, she guards her scars, both recent and old.
Her eyes flit about the room. "I know … I know it's … odd. But I feel safe here."
"It's not odd at all, sweetheart. You did grow up here."
She scoffs lightly. "It's more that I know where the threats are. They make sense. Out there ..." Shaking her head, she stands from the table. "You're right. It's time to get away from this junkyard."
A huge part of him wants to start showing her special places right now, outside of her dreams. But the saner half … quarter? asserts itself and he cautiously suggests, "The Resistance?"
Her eyes go wide and she quickly moves her head back and forth.
"Maybe they'll know something?" he suggests.
She just rolls her eyes. "Yes, because they're known to have extensive knowledge of Jedi lore."
He inclines his head in agreement. "But wouldn't you like to see your friends?"
"No," she says shortly, but BB-8 whistles shrilly and Rey's face falls in guilt.
"It's two against one," Ben offers, trying humor.
The withering look she gives him makes it clear that didn't work.
"Ahch-To," she says definitively. "Maybe there's something in Master Skywalker's hut."
It's not the worst idea, and if he's honest, he'd like to actually see her island.
"I'm not giving up on you seeing your friends," he warns her.
She just waves his concerns away with her hand and begins readying the Falcon to leave.
As soon as she powers up the ship, the air is filled with a high, rapid alert. She quickly silences the invasive sound, but it's too late. Ben knows what that means. Rey has messages. Lots of them, from the sound of it.
"Rey … you should listen to those."
"It'll just be Finn. And probably Poe."
"You did tell Dameron that you'd check-in, tell him where you'd settled."
"I know. But if I'd told him Jakku, he would have told Finn and they would have shown up in less than a day."
"Would that have been so bad?" he asks cautiously.
"Yes," she says shortly.
"What if something's wrong?" Last he knew, they were still cleaning up insidious cells of First Order loyalists. "We'd never hear anything on Jakku," he reminds her.
"I …" She nibbles on her bottom lip, her eyes finally showing engagement. "We'll check the holonet as soon as we're in orbit."
It's not ideal, but he'll take it. "Alright, Rey."
"Well?" he asks as she's sitting in the captain's chair, perusing the news feeds while waiting for the Falcon to calculate the jump to Ahch-To.
"They've formed a provisional government, but it's not planetside. They're mobile, on a cruiser named …" Rey's eyes fill with tears and she breathes in sharply. "Organa. They named it Organa."
Total stillness fills Ben's chest. He doesn't think or feel, he's stunned frozen. The finality of it all, that his mother is dead, no longer leading the fight. With a sharp breaking feeling, he comes unstuck from time. It hurts.
Yes, he could see her in a moment, but it's not the same as experiencing her vibrance, her sheer force of will. How he wishes he could go back and watch her wrangle the senate with clear, untainted eyes.
He feels the warmth of her stroking the outline of his form and turns his head to find her standing right next to him.
"Oh, Ben," she croons.
"It's fine," he says, though it's not. If only he'd fought back sooner, gone home.
Rey frowns deeply. "You don't have to hide from me."
"I … I'm just not ready to talk about my mother."
"Maybe tonight? When I can touch you? Hold you?"
The thought of being in Rey's arms makes something inside him crack and all he can do is nod.
By the time they reach Ahch-To, he feels much more centered, pushing the chaos of his family history back into the tight little fortress in his heart.
It's decidedly odd to see where Rey had been when they'd first connected. His memories begin to integrate, and he can see her as she must have been, the waves crashing, the water cascading through the bond.
She peers up at the setting sun. "It's going to get cold soon. But … I'd like to show you something, if I can."
He follows her to one of the stout little stone huts. Was she in one of these the night she'd confided in him? The night they'd touched hands?
That girlish quality she gets from time to time is in full force when she stops in front of a structure to the edge of the cliff. She points at it and says, "It's been rebuilt. This is where …" She trails off and she's actually blushing.
Standing close to her, he murmurs, "What is it, why are you so shy?"
"That … that was when I first knew. Knew you were still Ben. Knew I could love you."
Then she's turning and going into the little hut and he follows her. She begins to build a fire and he realizes she intends to sleep here.
"Wouldn't the Falcon be more comfortable?"
Rey shrugs. "Probably, but this place … it's special."
"Force, I can't wait to touch you," he breathes out, suddenly very eager for her to fall asleep. It's a special sort of torment, spending every day with her but not being able to touch. He'd lived most of his life without much human affection, but now it's as if he aches any time he doesn't have her in his arms, her hand in his.
It had been difficult to focus on the Jedi texts, so easy to lose himself in fantasy. That's something that hasn't gone away. It appears to simply be what Rey does to him.
She flies into his arms the second he joins her in her sleep. There's an intensity, a thickness of emotion that has him concerned.
"What is it?" he asks into her hair.
"Just, being here. Remembering."
He hums his agreement. This is where it really began, where they grew close. Where he began to understand just what Rey means to him.
Cupping her face, he tilts it up so that her eyes are pinned by his. "When we touched hands, it was like the entire galaxy unfurled before me. I saw so far, so deep."
"It was like dancing at the center of creation."
"Maybe that's what we are," he whispers. "Remnants of the beginning, still bound."
Then he's kissing her like a drowning man, his feelings so intense he needs her to ground him again, lest he expand into stardust.
Somehow, she reaches inside him and finds all the parts worth salvaging. His little scavenger, knowing just how to fix everything. Including him.
He pulls away, needing to tell her something. "After … after the Supremacy, it hurt so much to remember what it felt like to truly connect with you, but I could never stop thinking about it, never stop needing you."
"Neither could I. It was …"
"I know, I know." He captures her lips again, so desperate to just feel her. It's not even about making love with her, it's about that blessed connection that defines him, now.
They lay next to the fire on a blanket—naked, warm and cozy and oh so sated. Idly, he wonders if he'll ever stop burning for her. He doesn't think so.
She never does ask about his mother again, and he's grateful. The days are so full of study and debate that he needs the nights to simply bask in her, drift in her currents. She's not the only one healing from being ripped away from each other.
Rey yawns and stretches in the early morning light and it makes Ben smile. This was exactly how she looked when they first saw each other through their bond. Then she winces.
"What is it?" he asks curiously.
"I'm sorry I tried to shoot you."
Ben smirks. "I don't know if you're aware, but you always draw your weapon first. I have never once been the aggressor."
"What? No, that can't be true." Her brow furrows and she's thinking hard.
"Ah ha! You drew it first in the forest, when you stopped us getting to the Falcon!"
Ben crosses his arms. "That was just to get your attention! I never pointed it at you!"
"And you threw me against that tree."
That makes him somber. He'd been in pain and out of control. He'd never meant to throw her so hard. "I'm sorry," he whispers.
"Oh, Ben … stop. It doesn't matter what we've done. Yes, you're right, I was a little … quick to pull my weapon, but … on Jakku …" she says sadly.
He takes in a deep breath. "You're right, you're right. It's the past."
She smiles up at him. "What I care about is the future! Come on!"
Rey bounds out of the hut and he follows close behind.
She comes to a stop in front of a metal door, different than the others. There's hesitation in her bearing and she turns to him. "This was Master Skywalker's. I … could you maybe go ask him if this is alright?"
He's really not prepared to talk with his uncle, the last meeting so difficult. Though he might be more bearable now that his mother has gotten her hands on him.
"I'm sure he won't mind," Ben says gently. "Jedi aren't known for being attached to items."
Her lips pull into a conflicted frown, but then her expression clears. "If you're sure."
"I'm sure."
They enter his hut and find it clean and tidy. Who is keeping up these structures, anyway? Would they know anything?
Rey's fingers ghost over the few items on a small shelf, then she strokes a necklace of some kind with a red crystal. She yelps and pulls her hand back swiftly.
"Rey?" he calls out urgently.
"It … that necklace, it was so … sad."
Ben peers at it more closely and breathes in sharply. "It's made of kyber. I think … I think this was a piece of my grandfather's kyber crystal." Luke had told him about it once but would never show him. Likely because the crystal was no longer blue and that would have invited far too many questions. He lets the bitterness flow through him and takes a deep breath.
"Do you … you want it?"
His cheek twitches. "It doesn't matter. He never talked to me. It was always the Emperor."
"Not even … now?"
Ben smiles sadly. "No, not even now. But, as I said. It doesn't matter. The relationship I imagined with him was a delusion, a fantasy fed by a sick old man. He doesn't owe me anything."
Rey frowns. "I'm not sure I agree about that."
She pockets the necklace.
She searches the rest of the structures, her scavenger instincts in high gear. But they find nothing.
Then he sees something that looks like a burned out ... TIE? He goes closer to investigate.
Once it comes into full view, he sputters, "You burned my ship?!"
Rey comes to stand next to him, making a face. "I was having a really bad day! I'd just almost killed my soulmate and had found out I'm descended from a monster. It made sense at the time."
His lips flatten. "In less than a day you destroyed my two best ships."
"Well you shouldn't have been trying to capture me!"
A huge part of him wants to argue, remembers the hunger, remembers how out of his mind he was at that point. He couldn't perceive another course of action. All there had been was a constant beat of, "Rey, Rey, Rey," in his head.
But then she looks a little bit guilty. "Though stranding you was … not my finest moment." Her expression shifts to anger. "I wish I'd never used your wayfinder to go to Exegol."
Then her head cocks to the side. "How did you find it? Master Skywalker's journal led me to the other one, but …"
Then it hits him like lightning bolt. The First Order Archives! He really must start thinking more clearly.
"I know what we need to do," he says excitedly.
"Yeah?"
"But first … we really are going to have to contact your friends."
The looks she gives him makes him grateful he's incorporeal at the moment.
A/N: Thank you, ArtemisBare, who always makes time for my ramblings.
Thank you, Readers! Hope to be back Monday, but maybe Tuesday. I have a fellow Reylo coming to visit for the Chewbacchus Mardi Gras parade next weekend, so there will be another break in writing. We're going to scream our Reylo heads off!
Thank you for sticking with me, my beautiful and generous readers. Every time I get to talk with one of you, I'm always impressed by how kind and intelligent you all are.