Saint-14 was bent over near the opening of his ship. The soft golden light of candles cut through the pale mist encircling his makeshift outpost, casting a warm glow onto the surrounding area and giving Saint an almost ethereal appearance. The titan held his gauntlet out, a smattering of bird seed pooled in the center of his palm. A small pigeon cocked his head at him and cooed before jumping up into his hand and pecking happily at the offering. Saint patted the bird gently as it ate, letting out an imitating coo of his own. It was...poor, to say the least. Amon couldn't help but giggle upon hearing the strange noise leave his mouth, and the sudden noise startled both the bird and the titan.
"Oh, Hunter, I almost did not see you! So small. A useful trait," Saint beamed at Amon without a hint of self consciousness.
"I see you're taking excellent care of the local fowl, Saint."
"Birds are nesting in the City's walls. These are exciting times." He brought the pigeon up to his shoulder and is nestled atop his pauldron. He studied Amon for a moment before beckoning her over and pointing at a crate near his feet. "Please, sit. I teach you the way."
Amon hesitated a moment before padding over and sitting on the crate, hands folded in her lap. Saint unfolded them swiftly and suspended one arm in the air with her palm facing upwards. He signaled for her to hold that position before reaching up and dismounting the bird from his shoulder. He brought it towards her palm and gave it a light nudge so that it hopped over into her hand. Amon instinctively brought her other palm over to hold it. The bird shuffled and she gave it a slight squeeze, causing the pigeon to let out a quiet squawk.
"Listen friend, when you hold a bird," Saint stepped forward and picked up the small creature, caressing it soothingly. "You must be gentle. Bird is not like gun. Do not squeeze."
Amon sighed, trying to diffuse the rapidly growing lump in her throat. Of all the times for her emotional damn to break, why did it have to happen in front of the greatest titan who ever lived? "I'm sorry," she whispered and started at her lap. Saint stood still watching the bird, before setting it free on the ground and moving to kneel in front of the troubled hunter.
"What burden can I take from your shoulders?" Saint peered at her from behind his helm, placing a hand on her knee. Even with her armor on, he noticed how his palm seemed to swallow her leg. She had lost weight. "These eyes saw the rise of the first wall. It was a sight to behold. Back then, I was a cook for those who laboured to build it. Your food here- it is an improvement over my time," he chuckled ruefully. "We must remember how far we've come. It was not long a go out people starved in the wild."
Amon nodded. "The City has come a long way. I only hope that I have done more harm than good, but at times I can't be certain."
"The City breathes, ships flow through its veins, it is thriving. They speak your name," he paused to look out across the hangar. "But this is not what troubles you." He shifted his concealed gaze to focus on her.
"For so long I…" she stopped, suddenly uncertain of herself. Saint nodded for her to continue. "I've seen so much loss. If I felt it all I wouldn't have survived. So I don't feel anything at all...at least, I haven't in a long time. Emotions just get in the way." She stopped and took a deep breath, lifting her head to look at the titan. "But recently I've found myself wanting those things back. Those feelings."
Saint-14 hummed thoughtfully. "I've known many Guardians who have done the same. We each grapple with the Light in our own way. But sometimes a thing will latch on to us. Birds, fireteam ….a person. It is those times that we can choose not to walk the path of the Light on our own."
"But how? Everyone I let close has gotten hurt because of me. And if I give in to these selfish whims, countless others may suffer too."
"Guardian. You must not blame yourself for ailments brought by the darkness. Some say the Dark is rising. But I say, have you seen the Light?" He made a fist as he spoke, removing his helmet to stare at her directly. "I once chased after someone I cared for very much. Now I am here. This is real. And I would do it all again, Guardian. It is not selfish to retain your humanity," he paused, chuckling. "And this is coming from an Exo!" His mouth plates split into a grin as he squeezed her knee.
Amon sat for a moment, puzzled. "Are you talking about Osi-"
The titan stood and cut her off. "I can only guess at what the heart of your trouble is, Guardian, but I am more keen than I look. As are you," he grunted and turned away slightly, resting one hand on his hip and cradling his helmet in the other. "Follow your bird, my friend. I am here when you need me."
Blushing, Amon opened her mouth to question the titan, but he had already left their spot to greet a group of approaching Warlocks. She strapped on her helmet and threw her cloak over her head before making her way to her ship to deliver Eva's gifts.
As soon as she landed in the Divalan Mists, Amon spotted Petra perched on a familiar rocky outcropping. She was looking out towards the Blind Well's entrance with a hand shielding her eyes, while corsairs scurried around the makeshift camp set up behind her, issuing small bounties and missions to the few Guardians around. The woman sensed her presence and whipped around to lock her one good eye with Amon's. Resting a hand on one hip, Petra scowled and gestured for her to walk over. She approached the Wrath warily, stopping at the bottom of her pedestal and peering up at her old friend.
"What gave you any mind to go so long without coming to visit?" Petra's scowl broke into a smile and she stepped down with her arms outstretched. "I haven't seen you in ages, Guardian."
Amon moved forward and met her embrace, hugging the taller woman tightly. "I'm sorry, I've just been-"
Petra cut her off. "Busy, hmm? Yes, I was quite surprised when Ikora told me a certain Peacock had resurfaced." Amon flinched at the mention of him, and Petra pulled away to look at her. "Now. If you've the time, you really must rectify whatever it is you have done to the poor man. I've not the time to mend broken hearted Guardians in between their tasks."
"Gee, is there anything Ikora didn't tell you?" Amon rolled her eyes.
"You know as well as I that she leaves no want for details. Anyhow. He would never show it intentionally, but you know how Crow is. The subtle moping is just, well, exhausting," Petra continued, shaking her head.
"How is he, otherwise?" Amon instantly hated herself for asking.
Petra raised an eyebrow before lowering her voice. "It's rather funny, actually. I had him speak with the Techeuns about the whole, ah, memory situation. It seems that he really only remembers the distant past...and that which he did know of history is fading. Remarkable, truly. A mind wiped clean, repopulated, and once again swept with amnesia. They've jokingly named his ship the Amnestia."
Amon frowned, puzzled. "So what do you think about it all?"
"I look at it like this. He is like a clone. Same genetics, similar personality, and even some of the same memories. However, despite all this…he remains a different individual. It's no different than me reading a history book about my ancestors. I am of it, and yet not a part of it. For him, his past just spins on a movie reel within his mind at times. A great cosmic joke, if you ask me. Needless." She paused, lost in thought. "You know, you could just ask him all this yourself."
"Well I sort of made plans to avoid him." They stood in silence for several minutes, watching swarms of Taken grapple against Skorn in the distance. "Right. I'm just here on behalf of Eva. Happy Dawning!" Amon thrust the box of ill-fortune cookies into Petra's chest.
"And here I was hoping you'd come to see me of your own accord." Petra grinned and winked at Amon, causing her to blush. "I'm only joking. Give Eva my thanks."
Scratching the back of her cloak, Amon started to make up an excuse to leave.
"Not so fast," Petra said. "Won't you stay and run a bounty or two for me? I could really use the extra help. My regulars are all on holiday." Petra rolled her eye, as if the notion of taking a day off was the most frivolous waste of time anyone could commit to.
Amon sighed before obliging her old friend's request. Before she set off, Petra called out to her.
"In case you're wondering, I've sent the Crow to fetch one of my corsairs from a lost sector in Rheasilva."
She pretended not to hear as she mounted her Sparrow and headed to that exact location.
‐-
Treading quietly, Amon made her way carefully down the rocks at the entrance to the lost sector, descending into the dark cave. She heard a single gunshot from up ahead, followed by silence. Reaching the end of the corridor, she stepped into the dim cavern and paused to allow her eyes to adjust.
About halfway between her and the far end of the room lay the smoking figure of a dead Skorn captain. In front of it, a dark hooded figure stood with a knife clutched in hand. Amon recognized him immediately, and in her anxiety lost her balance for a moment. But, the moment lasted long enough for her to stumble and make a small splashing noise in one of the puddles on the floor. The figure turned and rushed with incredible speed, pinning her to the wall and holding the knife at her throat.
"Why are you following me? Did you kill that Corsair?" He asks, pressing the knife harder.
Amon's brain was still fried from trying to process the fact that he was actually here, in front of her, touching her. She couldn't believe she had let Saint unwittingly convince her to do this.
"Talk, or I'll make you talk." He waited a few seconds for her to answer, and was unsatisfied. Removing the knife from her throat, he stepped back. Amon was about to move until she realized that several bands of void light kept her restrained against the wall. She looked down at her trapped arms and then back up at him, just in time to see the knife flying towards her head. It sunk into the wall only millimeters from the edge of her cloaked head, making her flinch.
"Oh my cotton socks…" she whispered breathlessly, simultaneously annoyed and aroused as a warm feeling grew in her stomach and her limbs tingled with adrenaline.
Crow strode forwards and ripped her helmet off and threw it to the ground. He stared at her for a moment before removing his own to reveal amber eyes burning with anger.
"Uh, hey," Amon gulped nervously. She hadn't seen him filled with so much anger, sadness and sheer emotional turmoil since that night in the Tower, and didn't really know how to proceed. Certainly she couldn't- shouldn't- shoot him in the head this time. His chest heaved as he continued to bore into her with his fiery gaze as he used his body to cage her in-between himself and the wall. Tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes and she didn't know if they were of anger, sadness, or both. "Crow, I-" she started.
"Shut up," he growled, cutting her off and hungrily claiming her lips with his own. He was forceful, dominating, as if trying to reclaim something that was lost to him. The behavior sent a pang of guilt through Amon's chest. She had forced him- allowed him- to pine after her approval and care, just as his sister had in the past. The selfishness of her actions during the previous months hit her in full force. From first treating him like a curiosity to tinker with, then dredging up their shared past- which he would have been content to let sleep had she not come forward- and finally, leaving him in the dust when shit hit the fan. She was a coward, afraid to feel anything at all and scared of holding anyone close.
Not wanting to deal him such a fate any longer, she decided to continue giving in with renewed resolve, matching his demands equally in submission and desire. Sensing her surrender, he released the void light restraints and she sighed, pushing up off the wall and wrapping her arms around him. Few people had ever been able to read her so well.
Crow broke their kiss and leaned back, scanning her up and down. His intent was consuming as he relished every inch of his prey. A hunter by nature, having her back in his grasp was a euphoric victory and he would savor every second of it. He grabbed the sides of her face and pulled her in again. That time it was full of desperation and longing, afraid that if he let up she would run away once more. He began hastily undressing them both, and Amon did not fight back or help for fear of getting in the way, instead allowing him to take the lead. She admired the white markings on his shoulders as he unfastened the buckles of her armor, appreciating the beauty of his naked form.
When they were both undressed, he entered her without hesitation. She cried out in pleasure and discomfort at the sudden intrusion, and silently prayed that there were no enemies around that could have heard. As if reading her mind, he placed a hand over her mouth as he began thrusting up into her, leaning forward and biting her neck simultaneously. Amon moaned into his palm, reveling in every inch of him, allowing time to feel every place that his warm skin brushed against hers. She ground against him as hard as she could, chasing after impossible closeness, and he responded by grabbing her hip and pounding into her with incredible fortitude.
This was different than the other times they had been together. This time it meant something- they were playing for everything, going all-in. Each frenzied movement threatened to send both of them over the edge. After so many weeks without so much as a touch from the other every interaction felt like heat on an exposed nerve. A cocoon of mixed void and arc light crackled around them, a tangible display of passion and pent up feelings that cast a violet glow onto the cavern walls. The cool and shocking sensation of their light only added to their bliss.
She heard his breath shorten as he increased his pace, clutching at her hip with enough strength to leave a bruise. Crow groaned and twitched as he climaxed, the sound of his pleasure sending Amon over the edge as well. They both remained motionless in the silence that followed, letting the echo of their pleasure fade. Light arced and swirled around them, slowly dissipating into its respective bearers.
His hand fell from her mouth and he leaned his head forward, resting it next to hers against the wall. "I missed you," he whispered against her skin. She stroked his back with her hand, tracing along markings and scars. They sat in silence, holding each other, before separating and getting dressed without saying anything. Very begrudgingly, Ghost used his light to help Amon clean off and get dressed. When their armor was back on, Crow stood facing away from her and stared at the dead captain. She quietly padded up behind him and threw her arms around his waist, burying her face into his cloak.
Crow stilled for a moment before turning around and lifting her face up. Wet cheeks shimmered in the low light of the cavern. "Are you crying?" He asked. Amon looked away from him without answering. Instead of questioning further her hugged her back and they stayed there, embracing, drinking in the other's presence.
"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his chest. Crow placed a gloved hand on the back of her head and narrowed his eyes in concern.
"You've stopped eating." It was more of a statement than a question, and Amon struggled to swallow her instinctive defensiveness in response to the accusation. Unsurprisingly, Ghost spoke ahead of her.
"Yes, I've had to resurrect her twice now due to starvation." Ghost sounded more afraid than angry. Such behavior from his guardian made him exceedingly perplexed and scared, because he did not know how to stop it.
"I've just been busy, and distracted. That's all." Amon tried her best to sound convincing and nonchalant.
Crow hummed in dissatisfaction. "I guess we can talk about it later." He flinched in uncertainty on the last word.
"I won't leave you again." Amon squeezed him tighter before meeting his gaze as he sighed in relief. She struggled desperately to form the words she wanted to say. "I, um, I love, I-"
He cut her off with an eager kiss, barely managed due to the smile tugging at his lips. Knowing that she did not always find it easy to show affection- especially in difficult moments- her fumbled attempt at telling him how she felt meant the world to him. "I know." Crow hugged her chest and picked her up, spinning her around and laughing cheerily. She started kicking her legs and complaining, but stopped when his contagious laughter caught up with her. Amon started giggling along with him, conceding to his happy dance. Soon after he had stopped and sat her down, his helmet was back on his head and his hand canon was ready at his side. "I just have some business to finish here…" he trailed off as he walked over towards the fallen Skorn, its body beginning to disintegrate into ether.
Crow knelt down and shoved the body away, revealing the frail corpse of a downed Corsair. He used his fingers to close their eyes before removing their badge and covering the body with a silk sheet produced from a pouch on his belt. Amon watched, growing pale with shock as she realized what she was seeing and why he had accused her of murder when she first snuck up on him.
"Did we just…in front of a dead body…" she felt like she was going to throw up. Ghost fluttered to her side.
"Guardian, need I remind you of all the reasons that this is one of the least inappropriate situations you've been in?"
"By the Light, Ghost. No, I don't need a reminder."
"Ok, because I was going to mention the time when you needed help getting Vex Milk out of your-"
Amon grabbed her ghost and muffled him in her cloak, face growing hot with embarrassment. She had almost completely forgotten that whole incident with Cayde and his shenanigans. Chest swelling with melancholy, she briefly flashed back to that memory.
At the time she was extremely frustrated with the Hunter Vanguard, but looking back on it now she was just grateful for the 'crazy Cayde' story. The two of them had been thick as thieves back then, and bantered like they'd known each other for lifetimes; in a sense they had, after all they went through in such a short time. She had known a side of Cayde that went beyond his usual comedy, a man who wielded weaponized wit as expertly as he did his Golden Gun. He was always serious when it came to her, always there when she needed someone. Even during her five year silence he could communicate with her- he didn't need words to know what she would say- and not once did he pressure her to talk. Ok, he may have teased a bit, but only in good fun.
At one point it had become clear that Cayde had wanted more from her. How that came to light was an entirely different story in and of itself. Their bond was strong and developed naturally into something that existed between platonic friendship and romantic involvement. He would take her to get ramen- all the while exhausting his arsenal of tomfoolery to try and get her to laugh or smile, which she did- or to watch the sunset on the roof of the Hall of Guardians in the old Tower. The latter usually ended with Zavala yelling at Cayde, and Eris muttering something about the call of the void. But, Amon was not ready or interested in anything of that sort at the time, and since had already made her peace with what could have been. If things had gone his way, though, he would have been the one to get her to talk again and to open up, even if only for him. In the end, she supposed Cayde succeeded.
The bereaved hunter smiled sadly as her embarrassment faded into grief. It was a funny thing, grief. Often Amon felt like she were wading in the wreckage of a ship, clinging to a wooden board to stay afloat as massive waves crashed down, trying to drown her. When Cayde first died it felt like they might prevail- the waves came relentlessly with hardly a moment to come up for air in between consecutive assaults. Eventually though, the waves came less and less frequently- but still the same size- spaced apart enough to allow her to breathe and function in between. Every once in a while she found herself enjoying their persistence. Through them she kept her lost friends alive.
Crow cocked his head curiously and walked over to her. Upon seeing her pale face and watery eyes, his brows furrowed in concern. "What's wrong?"
"Don't worry about it." She mumbled and let ghost free, glaring at him as he dissolved into fractals of light. Crow grabbed her wrist before she could even think about walking away.
"Amon, you have to talk to me. I can't...I can't help you if you don't let me in." He searched her face for a way in, for a clue as to how he could gain her trust and keep it. Amon took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to meet his eyes.
"I was just thinking about," she paused, wondering if she should continue or not. She did not want to make him feel like he was responsible for her current emotions. "I was thinking about Cayde."
He thought for a moment before giving her hand a squeeze. "You stay here while I return this badge. When I come back, I want you to tell me about him. Deal?"
"Are you sure?" Amon looked at him warily as he nodded in reassurance.
When Crow returned he found Amon sitting in an old pavillion on top of a rocky hill. She leaned against one of the pillars and crossed her ankles, hands folded in her lap as her thumbs fiddled away. He piled his weapons and pack together before taking a seat in front of her. Resting his chin in one hand, he watched her stare out into the mist. A faint smile formed on her lips and she crossed and uncrossed her legs a few times.
"What are you thinking about?" He asked.
She shook her head in amusement. "There was this one time, back during the Red War. Cayde went about messing with some Vex tech and got himself stuck in a teleportation loop. At one point I had just finished saving him from a Hydra, and he was just floating there, stuck in a bright blue cage," she paused to giggle before continuing, "man, you should have seen the look on his face. I'd never seen him so...so flustered. It was hilarious, and adorable. I don't think he made a single joke as he floundered about trying to explain to me how to shut off the teleporter." She smiled and looked down at her hands. "I wish I had recorded it."
"What was he like?" Crow asked.
"Well," she began, "how does one describe 'Cayde-6'? Let's see." Amon shifted to sit cross legged. "He had a pet chicken, for starters. Colonel. Still lives at the tower."
This piqued Crow's interest. "Oh? Was he an ornithologist as well?" he half-joked.
Amon laughed. "Hell, no. The Colonel was the only bird in his life. Other than...well, yeah. Anyways. Cayde was a troublemaker, sure, but out there in the field he was a force to be reckoned with. Unconventional in his methodology perhaps, but he always got the job done. And he did it damn well too. He hated being stuck in the tower- but not even the lure of adventure could pull him away from his duty to the City and its people. Loyal, always."
She stopped, briefly pulling ghost out, and a hand cannon transmatted into her lap. "Ace of Spades. Even when I'm not using it, I keep it with me- ever since I got it back." Crow gulped, and sensing his unease she leaned forward to put a hand on his knee. "Hey, its ok. That was Uldren...not you."
Scooting forward, she lightly wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled herself forward to sit in front of his crossed legs, leaning back on her palms. "He never did say exactly who 'Ace' was. I'm not sure if he even knew. 'I'm coming home, ace.' I like to think he's out there somewhere, at peace alongside Ace, and Andal." Before he could ask, she answered. "Andal Brask- his best friend. Was the Hunter Vanguard before Cayde. Taniks murdered him and Cayde took his place...which reminds me," she cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at Crow.
"If we're honoring Cayde's dare, then technically you are supposed to be the next Hunter Vanguard."
Crow's mouth dropped open. "What? Why- what about Shiro?"
"Pfft, that won't last." She rolled her eyes. "But yeah, whoever bested him- er, killed him- was supposed to take his spot." She shrugged in response to Crow's incredulous stare. "Anyways, don't worry about it. This is ah...a unique situation."
Her words hardly settled the hornets nest in his stomach. Amon sat up and pulled herself fully into his lap, placing her hands on his shoulders and touching her forehead to his. "Crow. Forget I said anything. It, it doesn't matter. So don't worry about it. No one's chaining you to the tower any time soon."
Sighing, he closed his eyes. "If you say so."
Amon was startled by a strange mechanical flapping. Something landed on her head and she rolled backwards and onto her knees, screeching. "What the fuck! Get it off!" She frantically waved Ace around while patting the top of her head. Crow burst out laughing, and a large metal bird came to rest on his shoulder. "What the fuck is that!" Amon pointed her weapon at the creature and Crow threw his hands up.
"Whoa there, it's just a bird, geez! Put the weapon away." The crow flapped its wings and squawked at her.
"That is not a bird, my dude. Since when are birds made of ballistic nylon and titanium?"
He laughed again, shaking his head. "Obviously not a biological bird. It's a drone. I use them for reconnaissance."
She slowly lowered the hand canon. "Oh, right. Well, I guess I've never actually seen one."
"Good. That means they are working as intended."
"I hope that means you haven't been spying on me." Amon frowned.
"Nah. But I could…"
Rolling her eyes, she stuck the hand cannon in an empty holster and brushed off her cloak. "Speaking of drones, I really out to get back to the tower…" she trailed off and looked back at him. He was on his feet and the crow was nowhere to be seen.
"You could stay a little longer." Crow looked like a kid who had just dropped their ice cream cone. She stepped over to him and hugged him tight, looking up to meet his eyes.
"I'll message you when I'm done for the day. We'll figure something out." Amon could hear his heartbeat through his chest. It was a hair too fast. "I promise. Worst case, I'll come back tomorrow." With that, it seemed to slow. She stood up on her tip-toes and pecked his lips before they parted ways.