A New Year's Wish
This is based around the pictures of Mariska and Raul in the street when he visited the set awhile back.
"Did you make a wish?" Noah asked his mother after they toasted in the New Year with their sparkling cider. "You know a New Year's wish?"
Olivia smiled, "I did, how about you?" She asked him.
Noah smiled eagerly, "I did, but we can't tell because then it won't come true." He reminded her before letting out a long yawn.
"How about we get to bed Noah, then we'll find something fun to do tomorrow." She told him.
"Ok" He answered then paused before asking, "Mom, do you think it's all right to make the same wish two years in a row?"
"Well if it's something you are still waiting for then yes. You shouldn't give up on what you really want Noah." She told him with a smile as she hugged him goodnight.
She was back in her room with the door closed as she thought about her own wish, the same one that she had made last year, the same one she suspected Noah made. The wish that he would come home. When he left he had said it would only be for a year, and it had been almost two already. There had been other offers that he could have accepted, hell Columbia had practically begged him and he could have stayed there, with her, with them. He said though he needed a fresh start, a change of scenery, so when Stanford made him an offer he took it.
Eighteen Months Earlier
"Come with me." He almost whispered as the lay in her bed the morning before he was supposed to leave.
"What?" She said rolling over to face him unsure that she heard him correctly.
"Come to California with me, you and Noah. We could start a life together, buy a house, get married, the schools for Noah would be incredible."
"Rafi are you listening to yourself? You just proposed to me in bed, twenty four hours before you are supposed to be across the country. We've never even talked about marriage and oh yeah, I kind of have a big job here." She reminded him unsure of what had come over him.
"You've talked about retiring a million times, there is plenty of good work that you could do in the Bay Area, the kind of work you've been saying you want to do. You could be home with Noah more, we both could." He pointed out.
"Rafi, I can't just up and leave my entire life because you are having a midlife crisis. Besides you said Stanford was just for a year, so you could clear your head." She argued.
"Liv, its great out there, you and Noah would love it." He tried to persuade her.
"And we'll see it this summer when we come visit like we planned." She countered.
"Liv, I love you, I want a life with you and Noah, not just a couple of weeks in between semesters." He pleaded.
"Then you should have taken the job at Columbia." She snapped getting out of bed and heading to the shower the tears beginning to form in her eyes.
He followed her and put his hands on her shoulder and turned her to himself, "I'm sorry Liv, I didn't mean to upset you, I know it's not that easy but I meant everything I said. I want to marry you, to be a family."
"But you don't want it enough to stay." She reminded him studying his face and the pain she still saw there. "Rafi, we have twenty four hours left together, I don't want to spend them like this."
Rafael nodded and pressed a kiss into her forehead, "You're going to come this summer though?"
"I promise. Now, how about a shower before Noah wakes up?" She asked with a smile pulling him into the bathroom with her.
Oliva sighed as her head hit the pillow and she instantly took in the scent of him that remained from the previous week. He had come for Christmas again this year, but had left earlier that morning. He was teaching a workshop beginning on the second and needed to get back for it. She listened to the New Year's festivities outside and wondered what the year would bring for them. Would it be another year where they could count the number of days that they spent together? Forty-seven that was how many days they had spent together in the last year. He had flown back during his spring break, fall break, the week at Christmas, and two weeks over the summer, and she and Noah had spent two weeks with him in the summer too.
The snow had fallen heavy over night when Olivia and Noah woke the next morning.
"We could go sledding in the park." Olivia suggested.
Noah simply shrugged, "Nah, I don't feel like it."
"We could go see Star Wars." She offered.
"No, we saw that when Raf was her." He said growing gloomier. It was this was for a few days after their visits and she wondered again if they were being unfair to him through all of this.
"I know you miss him Bud, I do too." She offered.
"I wish we could have gone back to California with him. I mean you aren't working and I don't have school, and there's nothing to do here." He complained.
"But Raf is teaching, it's not like the summer." She explained.
"We'd at least be together and it wouldn't be cold and boring." He complained again.
Olivia sighed and tried to think of something to say, when suddenly she realized he was right, it was cold and boring there with Rafael gone. An impulsive thought leapt into her mind, she still had a week off, and so did Noah, there were plenty of frequent flyer points.
"Go pack your suitcase Noah." She said before she could talk herself out of it.
"What? Where are we going?" He asked hopefully.
"We are going to Raf." She smiled before hurrying to book tickets and pack herself a bag.
Three hours later they were settled in to their seats on the plane bound for San Francisco. She hadn't told Rafael they were coming she decided they would surprise him at his place when he came home from teaching. She fidgeted with the key on her keyring, it was the key to his house. It really made no sense for her to have one but he had insisted. It was her home if she wanted it he had told her.
They had been in Palo Alto for almost two weeks, Rafael had rented a little house for them that was in walking distance to parks and the shopping areas, plus it had a back porch that overlooked a back yard where they had spent plenty of evenings sitting by the fire pit while Noah played with the neighbor's children.
"This really is perfect." Olivia sighed as she rested in his arms in a lounge chair. "I don't want to leave."
"Then don't." Rafael answered, "I asked and the owners are looking to rent long term, possibly even sell it."
"Raf, we've been over this." She bristled sitting up, "Mine and Noah's life in in New York and yours should be too."
"You are the one who brought it up Liv." He reminded her.
"It was just an off handed comment Raf, you know we belong in New York." She said.
"Why Liv? Because that's where you have always lived? Noah loves it here, he has a backyard to play in, neighbors to play with. Liv, this could be our life." He argued gently. "Could you see yourself here Liv?"
She was quiet for a minute, "I don't know Raf, I do love it when I am here, but that's such a big move, a big decision."
"Moving across country or marrying me Liv?" He asked, "If I said I was coming back to New York with you and Noah to stay would you say yes to any of my six proposals? Because sometimes I feel like the location is an excuse. Do you want to marry me Liv?"
"Do you want to marry me enough to come back to New York?" She countered. "Tell me you'll come back to New York after this school year and I'll put the ring on and set a date Rafael."
"It's not that easy Liv, there's something that has come up." He said cautiously.
"What?" She asked.
"The Dean of the Law School is retiring after this year, they want me to apply." He told her.
"Raf." She said her anger and frustration being instantly replaced with pride as she threw her arms around him. "I am so proud of you."
"You aren't angry?" He asked
Olivia kissed him, "My Love, you are doing what you love and they want you to lead one of the best law schools in the country. How could I be angry about that?"
"Because it means I'm not coming back to New York anytime soon." He answered.
"Then we keep on a little longer." She said laying back in his arms.
Olivia noticed Rafael's car was in the driveway and she called out to him as they entered but he did not answer. As they walked around the home it was obvious he wasn't there, his briefcase was gone and she assumed he had walked to campus.
"Mom, can I go see if Adam and Jason are home?" Noah asked anxious to see his friends from the summer.
"Sure, Noah but come right back if they aren't." She told him she heard the back door slam before she had even finished her sentence. She smiled having to acknowledge that Raf was right Noah did love it here and he was able to have freedoms that he couldn't in the city.
She made her way around the house, smiling where Rafael had left his dirty laundry that he had brought back from New York. She picked it up and tossed it in the wash then made her way to the kitchen, of course there was no food since he had just come home. She decided she would collect Noah from the neighbor's and run to the store.
"Olivia, hi" Alice the next door neighbor greeted her as she opened to door. "I was so surprised to see Noah, I thought Rafael went to New York."
"He did but he came back yesterday. Noah and I still had a week off so we decided to surprise him." Olivia explained.
"Olivia have you talked to Rafael today?" Alice asked her concern on her face.
"No, he texted that he would be busy all day and would talk to us tonight. Why?" Olivia questioned.
"Because Rafael was over here last night after he got back. He was saying he didn't think he could do it anymore, being apart from you and Noah. He said he was going to turn down the Dean position and talk to Columbia."
Olivia felt her heart begin to race, "Alice I hate to ask you this but can Noah stay here with you for a while? I need to go find Raf."
"Olivia, you don't understand, Rafael took an Uber to the airport this morning he was going back to New York to tell you." Alice explained watching a flood of emotions cross Olivia's face.
"I have to get to the airport." Oliva said in disbelief. "Noah, we have to go."
"Olivia, wait, I don't want to overstep but are you planning on coming back? In the next day or two with Rafael? Because if you are why don't you leave Noah with Mark and I. It would probably be a lot easier to get one ticket last minute than two."
"Alice are you sure?" She asked wondering if she was crazy for considering leaving her son with a couple she barely knew but Raf had lived next door to them for six months and they both worked at the University.
Noah not wanting to get back on the plane was excited to get to stay with his friends that he had missed. Olivia kissed him goodbye and ran back to the house to grab her bag, she found Rafael's car keys and decided she would drive his car to the airport, next to the keys on the dresser was the small black box he had tried to give her on five separate occasions. Without hesitating she picked it up and put it in her purse.
Using her best detective skills she was able to figure out Rafael had left on a flight that had only left an hour before the one she was able to get. She collapsed in exhaustion into the last remaining seat on the plane. She thought about what Alex had told her, that Raf was going to turn down the Dean position to teach at Columbia. He was willing to sacrifice the chance of a lifetime to be with her and Noah. She thought about the life they would have all of their favorite places to go in the city. Rafael coaching Noah's soccer team, she could still lead her team at SVU. Then she stopped and she thought about the nights of climbing out of a warm bed with him next to her to go to another crime scene. She thought about all the missed soccer games and school programs. She thought about how she had given the people of New York the best of her for twenty-five years and how maybe it was time to see if there was something else for her to do.
She walked out of the airport and pulled her phone from her purse seeing that she had missed three calls from him. She hit his number and it went straight to voicemail.
"Damn it Rafi, where the hell are you?" She all but yelled.
"I'm right here." She heard a voice come from behind her and felt his hand on her shoulder.
"Damn you Rafael Barba, can't you just stay put?" She half joked half cried.
"I was about to get back on a plane to San Francisco because Finn told me you and Noah were out there. What is going on Liv? Where is Noah?" He asked suddenly worried.
"We flew out to surprise you, then Alice said you flew back here and she offered to keep Noah and I just got on a plane and tried to come fine you." She said tears now flowing freely.
He pulled her as close as he could kissing the side of her face, "I'm here Love, and I'm not going anywhere without you. I have an appointment at Colombia tomorrow, I'm coming home to you and Noah."
Olivia pulled back slightly and looked in his eyes, "No, you're not, I'm not letting you give up the opportunity to be Dean of the Law at Stanford University."
"Olivia, I don't want to be there without you." He told her.
"You won't be." She responded kissing him softly.
"Liv, what are you saying?" He asked.
She reached in her purse and pulled out the small box and handed it to him, "Ask me again." She said. "Ask me to build a new life with you, our best life."
"Liv are you sure?" He asked.
"Rafael, I have spent nine hours on two different planes, flown across the country twice, left our son with practical strangers, so that you could do this." She laughed.
Rafael kissed her before dropping to one knee and taking her hand in front of the airport crowd, "Olivia Benson, I have done absolutely nothing in my life to deserve you. I have given you so many reasons to walk away but for some reason you keep standing beside me cheering me on, even when it meant being across the country. What I've learned is that nothing is worth not being together, loving you is my dream job, husband and father are the only titles that I need. If you will marry me we can live wherever you want and if I have to work night court for the rest of my life I will as long as I get to come home to you and Noah. Will you marry me Olivia?"
Olivia pulled him back up by his hands, "Yes my dear man, I will marry you. And I want the life you promised me, the house, the yard, dinners together. I want to do what you did a start over and see what else there is outside of crime scenes and court rooms."
After finally sliding the ring on her finger he kissed her and realized the crowd around them had begun to cheer for them. Slowly he released her lips and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Take a picture and send it to Noah, tell him we are coming home."
"I can tell him our New Year's wishes came true." She said,
"All of our wishes." He said kissing her on the head.
She clicked the selfie of them and sent it to their son. "Raf, Honey, can we leave him with Alice and Mark and fly back tomorrow? I really don't want to get back on a plane today." She said with a laugh.
BarsonBarsonBarsonBarson
Oliva turned when she heard a voice behind her, "Professor Benson, do you have minute?
"Hi, yes Kelsey right?" She asked
"I wanted to know if you knew what you were going to be teaching next semester yet." The young woman asked her.
"Women in Law Enforcement and Modern Sexual Ethics in Law." She answered, "I hope to see you in one of them."
"Me too, um Professor Benson, I think the Dean is looking for you." The younger woman pointed to were Rafael was waiting for her with Noah.
"Thank you Kelsey, we have a meeting." She said with a smile.
"Hello Professor Benson, how were your classes today?" He asked hooking an arm around her waist and kissing her.
"Very good, and yours Dean Barba?" She said kissing him back.
"Come on you guys, we're going to be late for the game." Noah said pulling both of his parents by the hand in the direction on the Stanford soccer stadium, where they walked hand in hand.