"You know everything." Allan rolls his eyes.
"Yes, it's my job." I cross my arms.
"Name five things I don't know." Allan clenches and unclenches his hands.
"How to take care of animals, gardening, cooking, and how to apologize." I yell at him.
"Hey." He yells back. "Maybe I wouldn't have to apologize if you weren't so stupid!"
"I'm not stupid." My feelings are hurt.
"Yes you are, you can't even name the planets."
"Why does that matter?!"
"Because its science, you idiot." He punches my face.
I stand there staring at him in shock. holding a hand over my throbbing eye.
I've been hit, slapped, and hurt before, but never by him.
"You... you hit me."
"I'm so sorry, Sherlock, you just made me so mad... I'm sorry, it will never happen again." He hugs me and apologizes.
"It's alright."
John's hit me before, it's okay. It must be a normal occurrence for people who care about you to hit you.
"I'm so sorry, please don't leave me." He begs.
"I won't, it's alright." I hug him back and try to sooth my crying boyfriend.
"Promise?" He pulls back and looks at me.
"... yeah, I promise." I hesitate. "As long as both of us are happy, we will stay together."
I don't like being tied tot something without choice, so I threw that in there for good measure.
"We'll always be happy together, we'll never part."
"Yeah..." Anxiety crawls inside me.
But what if things don't work? What if...
"You don't sound sure, don't you love me?" He pouts.
"Of course I love you, I've just never been in a relationship like ours before." I struggle to find a reason for my hesitancy. I'm not sure what love is... do I really love him yet?
"Like ours?" He looks frustrated and confused.
"I've never dated without reason, I've never been in lo ve before." I correct myself.
"Will I'll teach you everything." He kisses me.
Butterflies fill my stomach as I melt into the kiss.
He loves me, and I suppose this feeling is love, so I l ove him too.
"Sherlock?" I hear my voice being called.
"Allan?" In a sleepy voice, I whisper.
"No, it's John."
John?
Why is John here?
"Where's Allan?" I roll over, looking for my lover.
"Sherlock... Allan isn't here anymore, remember?" He sounds unsure of himself.
"Why?" I get up, and look around, trying to find him.
Why isn't he here? Why is John here? I'm not supposed to talk to him anymore-
Everything that has transpired comes crashing back into my mind.
"Allan is dead." I whisper to myself.
"Yes, he is."
"I want Allan." Tears enter my eyes and I struggle to hold them back.
"Mycroft wants to talk to you."
"Tell him I don't want to talk to him, he's an over grown paper weight that stole my boyfriend from me."
"Sher-"
"Leave me alone!" I scream in Jake's face, turn away and go back to bed.
I want Allan, he makes everything better.
Mycroft can go to hell for all I care, he stole the only person who loves me.
Now I have no one, and nothing.
I want Allan.