The next morning, I woke up by the sound of some cluttering in the bathroom. I rubbed my eyes and jumped out of bed. This was the day I was going to learn to perform magic. Well, performing. Is that the right term for making magical potions? I shrugged at the thought. Not important for now.
I got dressed and stumbled over my backpack in my enthusiasm. I looked at the thing and thoughts about my family filled my mind as if it was a bucket which was being filled underneath a tap. Me and my dad throwing over a baseball. Me and my dad in a roller coaster. I smiled at that thought. He had pretended he had liked going into that beast of a thing to prove he wasn't a wimp. As a result, he had puked so hard he had felt sick for days. Maybe it was bad to laugh at it, but come on. A man, proving to not be a wimp. That goes wrong, always.
I heard the sound of a toothbrush hitting the sink. The sound pulled me out of my reverie and made me disoriented for a brief second. I looked at the backpack again. This time, I rather became sad till a point of nearly inconsolability. I looked at the door. Not moved. I suppressed a cry, since I didn't want Severus to hear it.
I had to have some stuff from my parents in my hands to feel better. I grabbed the backpack and seated myself on the bed with the backpack on my lap. My hands were trembling as I slowly opened it. The inside revealed my mom's letter on top, crumpled a bit. I got it out and examined her handwriting. Her beautiful handwriting. The handwriting which had revealed the existence of magic to me. It had a great, but most of all a mournful touch to it. Her letter had started a new chapter in my life. Getting her letter had some conditions: I had to be still a child and they had to be dead. Horrible conditions. I wondered what would have happened if they had not died that day. If the accident had never happened. When would they have told me about all of this? "Would Severus still accept me like he does now?" I asked myself. I had no clear answer, but probably not. Now, I just had no other place to go. He had to take me in. However, when the other situation had been the case, I would still live with my parents. And even though I liked Severus, I preferred the other situation way much more.
The letter only brought up bad thoughts, so I put it aside me on the bed and dug further into the backpack. Besides some clothes, I found a photo from me and my mom. She was laughing at the camera while hugging me exuberantly. I looked at her with an awkward expression on my face.
I stared at the photo and remembered the moment it was taken. I had just gotten home from a sleepover of a friend. It had been my real first night away from home and she had worried about my well-being. She had been so relieved when she saw me coming home without trouble or something. I had felt weird about her sudden hug, cause I had not found it to be such a big deal. Now, I laughed at the thought.
I heard Severus coming out of the bathroom. I quickly turned my head to the door as if I had feared him coming in. My reaction surprised me. Why had I feared him seeing me watch these things? Did think he would become angry by seeing those things? Probably.
I decided to put everything back into the backpack and went to the bathroom.
I prepared myself for the day and went, just like Severus had done, downstairs.
Severus had already prepared breakfast and was placing the teapot on the table as I walked in.
"Good morning." I greeted him. He looked at me and greeted me back with a monotonous 'good morning'. "Oef. The Potions Master has a bad morning mood." I thought sarcastically.
We seated ourselves and began eating in silence. His mood was different than normally, I noticed. He seemed grumpy- grumpier than normally- and tensed. I wondered why. Was he afraid I would do something terribly wrong in his basement? Probably. I felt encumbered to ask why he was so tensed. To prevent another quarrel, I stayed silent.
After breakfast, I walked to the living room and waited for Severus to be done cleaning the table.
A moment later he came in and sighed in frustration. "Don't look at me like that." he snarled. Me, confused- cause I had no idea where he was talking about, since there hadn't been a special emotion on my face- about his remark, looked at him with a bewildered look. "Don't act like you don't know." he snarled in response. "But I'm not doing anything!" I exclaimed, still confused. Severus sighed in frustration again and bit some nasty remarks away by doing so. He looked at the wall, then to the ground, then back at me. Some frustration had disappeared. However, there was still enough left.
"Well, shall we go downstairs?" he asked more calmly now. However, his tone was still suspicious to me. I nodded.
He got his wand out of his pocket and touched several books- the ones in the case- with it. It looked like he used some kind if code to open the door, but nothing happened for a while, just like before. I suddenly heard noises coming from the bookcase. I startled and slowly moved backwards. The bookcase started to move and opened like a door to reveal the stairway behind it.
Severus walked downstairs first and lighted up the chandeliers, which were filled with candles. Strange, but this time I stepped into his basement, it felt creepier. A feeling like I was entering a dungeon. I got scary feelings about this.
As I walked down the stairs, I noticed a cauldron- with a small fire underneath it- on one of the tables. It had some purple brew into it. Small bubbles reached the surface on a nicely sounding rhythm. The brew had no strong smell or anything of which I could get a bad feeling, but it still happened. Seeing the weird looking brew made me wary. Where was it for? What was he going to do with it?
Severus immediately walked over to the cauldron and looked at the brew. He seemed pleased. I paced over to stand next to him and looked at it too. I didn't know what to see, so looked at Severus instead.
"I have made this potion yesterday evening." he stated slowly which made the ominous feeling inside me grew stronger. "This is a Bolbozar potion. This potions reveals if two people are related to each other."
I nodded. I knew where this was going to. Today was the day he was finally going to test if I was indeed his. I had no doubts and certainly not after meeting him and seeing our resemblance. However, he had his doubts, so proving it to him could maybe bring us more together.
"To see how the two people are related, someone has to look at the colour of the brew after one hour of putting the hair in." "Hair?" I asked confused. He turned his head to me with a frown on his pale face. "Of course. How else can the potions know who it has to relate?" he asked rhetorically with a clearly irritated voice. I could imagine why his students didn't like him that much if he was like this during all of his lessons.
In response to his remark, I simply shrugged. "How could I know? It's magic, anything can happen." I got an angry scowl for that remark in return.
"Do you think this is funny?" he asked agitated. "No, I don't. I honestly don't know." I replied on a normal tone. Severus narrowed his eyes and ignored the comment.
"I want to test if and if we are, how we are related." He looked at me, expectantly. "And I think you also want to know." he added. I shrugged. "I already know I am, so this is more for you I think." He frowned at this. "And how comes you are so sure?" he asked, very frustrated now. "Because of my mom's letter and because of our resemblance." I stated to defend myself. "Oh, and you just believe her word?" "Yes." I bravely replied. He narrowed his eyes and looked impendingly at me with his dark eyes. Didn't he like my answers our the bravery? Probably both.
"You shouldn't believe anything people write." he stated calmly, but still agitated.
His remark made my blood boil. My mom wasn't just anyone! She had been the best mother in the world and what gave him the right to talk about her that way!?
"But my mom isn't just anyone!" I exclaimed. "And what do you think is the reason why she would lie!?" I yelled at him. "Don't yell at me." he stated strictly. "Or what!? Are you gonna leave me!? Just like you did to me mom!?"
He seemed shocked and surprised for a moment. However, the moment had been short, cause he inhaled deeply through his nose and gave me the most disgusted look I had ever seen in my entire life.
"Don't you dare to say that to me!" he shouted fiercely. "Am I lying than!?" Surprised by that, he stayed silent for a second and bowed his head to the ground. He sighed to calm down a bit and then said: "I left her indeed." "Because she was less than you, huh!? Because you thought she was below your status as a wizard!" I yelled at him. My anger had not reduced. It was even burning harder than ever.
The anger in Severus' eyes seemed to return. He straightened his back a bit more- to look taller like all men do when they want to look threatening- and looked taller than ever. Only his length already seemed frightening to me. "Because she was, Ellea!" Him, saying my name in that malicious tone of his made me even angrier about his answer. Did he really think she had been less!? Did that mean that I was less too!?
My blood boiled as it had never done it before. My mom wasn't less than him or anyone!
On that moment, Three jars in one of the closets exploded at the same time. Strange looking parts of plants and remnants of nuts flew through the basement. Me and Severus both startled and crouched to the floor.
Severus stood up and looked at the mess.
"What the hell do you think you are doing!?" he yelled. "I didn't do anything!" I exclaimed. Severus narrowed his eyes. "So, that happened out of the sudden, without your help!?" "Indeed." Severus growled and wanted to yell further about the mess, but I yelled: "Because she was a squib and you are not, right!? That's why you dumped her!" I wanted to know the truth and would certainly get it. Some exploded jars couldn't stop me from that.
Severus looked surprised and confused at the same time. He seemed to bit some words away and exhaled through his nose.
"Indeed." he stated more calmly now. "You are on hell of a disgusting man, Severus Snape!" I yelled at him. " He narrowed his eyes and teased: "why don't you just say father if you are so sure about it?" My time had come to scowl at him. He was a bit right though. However, I just didn't feel like calling him that way. He had to respect that, but he was certainly not doing that.
Severus sighed to reduce his anger and took a short moment to get himself back together as he saw I wasn't going to answer his question. I did the same as him, trying to reduce me anger.
"And how do you know all of this anyway?" he snarled out of the sudden, clearly not over his anger yet. "My mom's letter." I stated more calmly. Severus let out a derogatory laugh. "So your mother wrote everything about me and herself in a letter to you, a child, and than I am the disgusting one?" I frowned. "Yes, cause you are just one hell of a racist!" I exclaimed. "That's just how the laws are, Ellea." "So you want to tell me that the complete Wizarding World is filled with racists!?" "Well, kind of yes." I rolled my eyes.
"I don't believe a thing of that. You just say that to justify your bad actions!" "The only 'bad actions' were ever falling in love and having sex with your mother."
I was surprised by his declaration, even though I had kind of expected it. Still, I had not expected him to tell me this that harshly In my face. Of course he had never wanted me. I was only a burden to him. How could I have been so blind to not notice?
"So, I am a mistake?" I asked him softly, kind of hoping he would still say his last statement had been a fault, that he had not meant it that way. And even though he seemed to recognise that his statement had been a fault for a moment, he said: "It had never been my intention to make your mother pregnant." "That's the bloody same thing!" Severus didn't react on that. Instead, he looked at the cauldron.
"You have never wanted me, have you? That moment you saw me for the first time, you were just hoping I wasn't yours, weren't you?" I asked him sadly. He turned his head to me and frowned, not an angry one, rather one I couldn't identify.
The man clearly contemplated what to say. The answer seemed to be just as important for him as it was for me. By his contemplating, I already knew the answer.
"I had never expected you, to come and tell me you are my child." he stated calmly and stared to the cauldron again. "That's not an answer to my question." I stated as calmly as he was. He scowled at me.
"Do you remember that one of my house rules is that you should not act like a smartass!" "I am not! I have the right to know how you think about me." I stated. He produced that same derogatory laugh as before and stared at me.
"Let's first find out if you are indeed mine." He swung his arm towards the cauldron to indicate we still had to test it. He still wanted to test it. I didn't. I had made up my mind. I didn't want him to be my father. He was a filthy swine! Speaking nothing but bad about my mother! How dared he!
"I don't think that's needed anymore." I stated. Severus raised his eyebrows and asked agitatedly: "is that so? And why if I might ask?" "Because you don't want me anyway, so why taking the effort to test it." I snarled. Severus scowled again, but didn't know what to say.
"Cause if you are indeed mine, as you claim, than you are going to live under my guardianship." "So you want that?" I asked incredulously.
Severus didn't react to that. Instead, he gave a quick look at the cauldron and asked teasingly: "I think that's the task of a father, isn't it?" It hadn't been really a question. He already knew the answer and was certainly not hoping for me to answer it.
"But you don't want to be one. Than why can't I just leave now?" Severus sighed in frustration at this. "Do you ever listen? I have just told you why." he snarled. I simply nodded. He was right about this point. The only point.
It was silent for a moment. We both stared to the ground and seemed to enjoy the silence, so we could both reduce ourselves from our anger.
Severus interrupted the silence with: "we both need to put a hair into it." I looked up and nodded. I was still reluctant to do so, but wanted to do it anyway. Not for him, but for myself. I had some doubts for myself too. Cause of course. Severus had been a bit right. I had just believed my mom's words and words are just words, but why would she ever lie? And every other information in the letter had been right already, so why the worries?
I walked over to the cauldron and looked into the purple brew. It looked disgusting and I pulled up my nose to express my feelings about it. I looked up at Severus, who gave me an approving nod.
I pulled out a hair from my head, which didn't hurt that much, and put the hair into the brew. The hair landed on the surface and immediately sank into the strange liquid. The hair had disappeared.
I looked up at Severus again, who gave me another approving look. I walked away from the cauldron, to the side of the table.
Severus' turn. He walked towards the cauldron and stared into the brew. He sighed and quickly pulled out a hair and put it into the cauldron. He looked into it again and looked rather pleased now.
He stepped aside and leaned onto the table with his hands. I stood on the other side of the table, opposite to him. The cauldron to my right was still boiling on the small fire.
Severus raised his head and inhaled deeply through his nose. He gave quick look at the cauldron and then turned his full attention back to me. "And now we simply have to wait."
Author's Note:
Hey reader!
Ellea found out how Snape thinks about her, but what will she do with all that information? And is she actually his daughter? Or isn't she? Read next weeks' chapter to find out.
See you next week!